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00:00And also, just touching the plane.
00:07And the two points where the spheres touch the plane...
00:14Well, that is where our future lies, Rodney. Second-hand motors.
00:19This time next year, we'll be millionaires.
00:22I dreamed I was drowning last night.
00:25The way I see it is this.
00:27The government, they're going to have to ban the import of foreign cars, aren't they?
00:30To save our own car industry.
00:32But the unions, they won't stand for that.
00:34Because that smacks of racialism. So they'll all go out on strike.
00:37That will mean you won't be able to buy a new car for love nor money.
00:40No.
00:41No.
00:42That is it, Rodney.
00:44Britain's future lies fairly and squarely in the second-hand car game.
00:48What did you say just now?
00:50You dreamt that you were drowning?
00:52Is that a gentle way of trying to tell us that last night you wet the bed?
00:57No, it's not. I'm just depressed, that's all.
00:59And these cornflakes aren't making me feel any better.
01:02Honestly, Rodney, you make my teeth itch.
01:04I've asked you before and I'll ask you again. Go and phone her.
01:07She knows I won't phone her first.
01:09How does she know that you won't phone her first?
01:11Did you tell her that you wouldn't phone her first?
01:13No.
01:14No? Well, go and phone her and tell her then.
01:16Well, that's stupid.
01:17No, it's not. It's no more stupid than the mood you're in.
01:21I don't... Why is it whenever you're getting your end away,
01:23that the skies are blue, the lava's cool and England are going to win the World Cup,
01:27just because some little tart with fat thighs gives you the elbow,
01:30you're in a fit of depression?
01:32She has not given me the elbow.
01:34Monica and I were having difficulties getting it all together on a one-to-one basis.
01:38So my mate, Mickey Pierce, now he's lived with a woman,
01:40he advised us to have a two-week trial separation.
01:43A two-week trial separation?
01:45God, come on, you've only known her for two weeks.
01:47But what is it then, Rodney, a fortnight on, a fortnight off?
01:51I am not going to phone her, Grandad, that's all there is to it.
01:54Plenty more chicks about.
01:56Yeah, all right then, well, come on.
01:58I reckon your best bet is have a blind date with a Samaritan.
02:01I'll survive, Del.
02:03And Monica has not got fat thighs.
02:05She's got fat thighs.
02:07She has not.
02:08Look, I was down the Nag's Head disco last night,
02:10and either she's got fat thighs,
02:12or she was bopping the night away in her pair of jumpers.
02:15Monica was out dancing?
02:17Yeah.
02:18Here with your mate, Mickey Pierce, as it happens.
02:25Del?
02:30Oh, yes, just came in with a Chesterfield
02:32and a gross of electric toothbrushes as a part shop on abandoned plots.
02:35Still, er, cleaned it up a bit, couple of new tyres.
02:38Yeah, yeah, new engine, new body, and you've got a nice little motor.
02:41There's 98,000 miles on the clock, that genuine?
02:44Shut up, Rodney.
02:46Be honest, Boise.
02:48I mean, seriously.
02:50It's a bit of a pig.
02:53Well, what do you want for 50 quid?
02:55Ah, well, now you're talking. I'll take that.
02:58What do you want, a cheque, or shall I give it to you in the old reddies?
03:02You would in old winter.
03:04No, no, it's handsome, though, isn't it?
03:06Yeah.
03:07You know what?
03:08It's only E-type Jaguars and Sebastian Co
03:10that make me feel proud to be British these days.
03:12Yeah, I know what you mean, Boise.
03:14When did you get this up at the front?
03:16It was not for sale, though, my old mate.
03:18Matter of fact, I'm looking for a place to hide it for a week.
03:21I bought it as a birthday present.
03:23I'm dead scared the wife's gonna see it and suss it all out.
03:26Spoil the surprise.
03:28Spoil everything, Rodney.
03:29It's a birthday present for my bit on the side.
03:33What?
03:34His bit on the side.
03:37His bit... Oh, never mind, Boise.
03:39So long since Rodney had a bit on the side, he didn't know they'd moved it.
03:43What are you saying about, mon Dieu?
03:45What?
03:46You want to hide this for a week, right?
03:47Right.
03:48Well, you've got an empty garage around on the estate.
03:50I can pop it in there for you, if you like.
03:52Be handy, Del.
03:53Save me a lot of agro.
03:56Right.
03:57Well, I owe you one, Del.
03:58Oh, forget it, Boise.
03:59I mean, if you can't do a pal a favour
04:01without expecting something in return, I mean...
04:04How much did you say you wanted for that again?
04:14Sorry.
04:16What's the matter?
04:42What's the matter? Brakes a bit spongy, are they?
04:44What?
04:45What bloody brakes?
04:47I nearly killed myself, Del. It's a death trap.
04:50What do you expect for 25 quid?
05:15Your shock absorber's gone.
05:17Well, it has now.
05:19What's it like?
05:20What's what like?
05:21The car, you dingo.
05:23What do you think I'm talking about, your flaming coffee?
05:25The car?
05:26Oh, well, you know, it's, uh...
05:28It's a bit overpriced.
05:30It's a bit overpriced, yeah. That's what I was going to say.
05:33It says 23,000 on the clock. Is that genuine?
05:3523,000?
05:36Well, the last time I looked, it was over...
05:3822,500. Quite right, Rodney.
05:40No, I have the RACGV.
05:42Ah, now I have the RACGV.
05:44Do a 500-mile road test on it.
05:46Well, you know, better safe than sorry.
05:48That's what I always say.
05:49It's beautiful, though, isn't it, eh? Beautiful.
05:51What do you think?
05:52Sonnet Lumiere, wouldn't you say?
05:54Well, don't know if I'd go quite that far.
05:56Oh, yeah.
05:57I mean, look at this, eh?
05:58Genuine leather-up upholstery there.
06:00Where would you find genuine leather-up upholstery like that these days, eh?
06:03Here.
06:04Do you know that the East African gazelle
06:06became an endangered species for this model?
06:08Sacrifice well made, I'd say, wouldn't you?
06:10No, it's an enthusiast model, this one, and I can see that you are, in fact, a genuine enthusiast.
06:14Don't give me that crap, mate. I can make up me own mind.
06:18And I don't need any help from no cockney villain.
06:21Cockney villain? Cockney villain?
06:24Now, there's no need to be like that, sir.
06:26I mean, after all, the British and the Australians are cousins across the sea, aren't they?
06:29I mean, if your great-granddad hadn't been a bloody villain, you could have been one of us.
06:34Say lovey, Sam Ferriac.
06:37Allow me to point out some of the optional extras on this one, sir.
06:40The anti-dazzle mirror in here.
06:43You'll notice that we've got the old, look at that, the one-speed wipe-off.
06:48And we've got...
06:52Oh, yeah, perfect example of the sporting tourer.
06:55And, of course, it comes complete with a full two weeks MOT still left to run.
07:00How many owners?
07:01How many owners? I'm glad you asked me that, sir,
07:02because it's only had the one owner from new, and that, of course, was a vicar.
07:06A vicar?
07:07Vicar.
07:08A vicar.
07:09Used to use it to drive backwards and forwards to church on a Sunday, that was all.
07:12And, oh, look at her.
07:15Only left his Bible in the glove compartment.
07:23As I was walking through Earl's Court, into a pub I was lured,
07:28where a nosy pom said,
07:30where are you from?
07:31As I downed the amber fluid.
07:34I said, get it straight, I'm an Aussie mate,
07:37and I'm fixin' to get plastered.
07:39But the beer is crook, and the birds all look like you,
07:42you pommy grandad.
07:45Cheers, dear old boy.
07:47It's all right.
07:47Go out and buy yourself a crate of odor-eaters.
07:51Yeah, I've heard they're good.
07:52Oh, they are, they are.
07:53Bloody murder to swallow, though.
07:56Hey, where's the peckham's conscience?
07:58Oh, he's in his rump pining about that little fat bird.
08:03Women.
08:03I mean, you wouldn't remember when I married your grandmother.
08:12No.
08:13The first night we was in bed, and, well, you know, Dil.
08:19What?
08:21Well, doing what you do when the lights are out.
08:27Old in a seance, was you?
08:30No, you know what I mean.
08:33Anyhow, right in the middle of it, do you know what she said to me?
08:40What?
08:41She said, what do you fancy for dinner tomorrow?
08:47What do you fancy for dinner tomorrow?
08:50Bad, ain't it?
08:52Bet that didn't happen to Omar Sharif.
08:54Anyway, what did you say?
08:57Steak and kidney pudding, I think.
08:59That's what you love, wonderful.
09:03Hiya, look out, the roomie sport.
09:05Hey, oh, where are you going? Fancy dress party?
09:07No, I'm going to do what Monica was doing last night.
09:09Ah, going dancing with Mickey Pierce, are you?
09:12No, I'm going out. I'm going to paint the town red, rip it up a bit.
09:16Oh, are we going stretting?
09:17No, I'm not going to stretting, Dil.
09:19I'm going to hit a few clubs up west.
09:21What, you up west?
09:23Yeah.
09:23You'd need a bloody compass to find it, you would.
09:26I am often up west, Dil. I'm one of the faces.
09:28One of the faces? Do me a favour, Rodney.
09:31Two halves of lager at the British Legion Club is like a walk on the wild side to you.
09:35Oi, just leave me to live my own life, would you?
09:38And what do you mean, fancy dress?
09:40Well, I just wonder why you were hitting the west end looking like a praying mantis.
09:46Just lay off me, Dil.
09:48Is that the money from the Cortina?
09:50That deathtrap you sold to Skippy?
09:52Yes, look, there was nothing wrong with that motor.
09:54Nothing wrong. The oil light stayed on.
09:56The steering didn't always go the way you wanted it to.
09:58And the brakes didn't work.
09:59A few minor faults.
10:00Anyway, the oil light didn't stay on. I fixed it.
10:03You mean you actually went to the trouble of changing the oil?
10:05No, I took the bulb out.
10:07You are great, you are, Dil.
10:09I mean, you've done some pretty doubtful things in your time.
10:11But I never thought you'd stoop to selling instant motorway madness.
10:14Oh, shut up, you tart.
10:16That money is immoral.
10:17That is your handful of silver, Dil.
10:19That is nothing more than blood money.
10:21Oh.
10:22Oh, is it?
10:22Oh, yeah. All right, then.
10:24Oi, offer, that's mine.
10:26Ah, now you see what I mean, don't you, eh, Grandad?
10:29That is the mentality of your spoon-fed student type.
10:32They walk around all day with Steve Bilko written on their T-shirt,
10:35spouting about humanity.
10:37When it comes to a fight over a torn fibre,
10:39they make Genghis Khan look like a pacifist.
10:42I was merely stating the fact that offer, that is mine.
10:45I don't mean to say I want it.
10:46Oh, I see.
10:50Don't want this money then, Rodney, eh?
10:54No.
10:55Oh.
10:56What a bind I'll have to spend it all myself then, won't I, eh?
10:59Oh, well, there you go.
10:59Still going out, are you, Rodney?
11:01Uh, yeah.
11:04Do you, uh, you fancy tagging along, Dil?
11:06I'll show you some of my clubs.
11:07Oh, no, not really.
11:09Look, if you're hard up for a bit of company, I'll come on.
11:11Hey, hard up for company?
11:12You must be joking.
11:13I've got hundreds of friends.
11:14How?
11:15Oh, it's all right, innit?
11:16Good, yeah.
11:18Yeah.
11:19Here's a catch from an evening class for a start.
11:22Cats?
11:23Where you going, Rodney?
11:24Dancing or ratting?
11:26Ratting, I like that.
11:28It means ravers, Grandad.
11:29Swingers.
11:30And these guys really live it up, Dil.
11:32And when I say live, I mean live.
11:35Yeah.
11:36There's Dave and Bob.
11:41Mike and Tony.
11:44George.
11:45It's Jim.
11:46Jim.
11:46Yeah.
11:47Why don't you go and give them a bell?
11:49Who?
11:49You know, the beautiful people from the evening institute.
11:53They're not on the phone.
11:54What do you mean, all these swingers?
11:55They ain't got a phone between them.
11:56Are they on the electric yet?
11:57All right.
12:00Well, you coming with me, then?
12:02No, no.
12:03I'll pop down and exit for a light ale later on.
12:06Oh.
12:07Well, you're lost, Dil.
12:09I'll tell you all about it in the morning, then.
12:10Assuming I'm back in the morning.
12:13You're right.
12:15Well, you coming or not, then?
12:16No.
12:17OK, then.
12:19Well, here I go.
12:22See you, then.
12:24I'll give the birds your regards, shall I?
12:25Yeah, you do that.
12:26It's terrific.
12:27Great, yeah.
12:28All right.
12:30Well, we have take off.
12:38Well, make up your mind, Dil.
12:39You coming or not?
12:40You bloody kids.
12:42They can't even enjoy themselves today, can they?
12:44Hey, all right.
12:45Come on, soppy.
12:47Let's go and rip it up.
12:48Well, if you want to tag along, that's fine by me, Dil.
12:50If you can pay for your own way.
12:52I'll pay for me own.
12:53Don't worry.
12:54I've got the money.
12:55I've got the keys to the van and all.
12:56Grandad, go easy on the iron jelloids tonight.
13:00We're not going up west in a three-wheel van, are we?
13:03I certainly ain't walking it, Rodgers.
13:05Yeah, but I mean, it's all about images, isn't it, Dil?
13:07I mean, you're very suave and debonair.
13:09Yeah, well, I suppose I am a bit ostentatious, really.
13:12Yeah, I am, aren't I?
13:13Yeah.
13:14Still, if I drive you out down behind the dashboard, no one will see us arrive.
13:17What do you mean, no one will see us arrive?
13:19I want people to see me arrive, don't I, eh?
13:21In a three-wheel van, still got no choice, have we?
13:24Yes, we have.
13:24Yes, we have.
13:26We can take Boise's E-Type Jaguar.
13:28The Jag?
13:29Are you sure, Dil?
13:30What, upon your shoulders, be it, son?
13:31Let's go.
13:35Rodney?
13:36Rodney?
13:49Is it always dark as this in here,
13:51or are they holding a dummy run for a coal miners' convention?
13:55I don't know.
13:56What do you mean, you don't know?
13:57I thought you said this was one of your regular clubs.
14:00Well, I might have exaggerated a bit when I said regular.
14:03How many times have you been here, then?
14:04Never.
14:06Never?
14:07What did you bring us in here for, then?
14:08It looked all right from the outside.
14:10It looked all right from the outside.
14:12That's what the Christian said about the Coliseum.
14:15You burk.
14:19Not much action for a nightclub, is it?
14:21No.
14:22Probably something to do with the fact that it's only half past seven.
14:26For the last time, I'll come out with you, Rodney.
14:27Is that a promise, you moaning kid?
14:29Oi, what's it, Dil?
14:32Ah.
14:33Oi, uh, garçon, la petit pois.
14:36Oh, parlez-vous français?
14:38Yeah, bon.
14:39Yes.
14:41What can I get for you?
14:43Um, I'd like a Caribbean stallion.
14:45What we all, dear.
14:49What is it?
14:51Monsieur, what is it?
14:53It's an exotic cocktail, isn't it?
14:54Specially created for the discerning palate of the international jet set.
14:58Roger Moore drunk one in Live and Let Die.
15:00I wouldn't put anything past her.
15:06Yeah, well, you better write this down, ain't you?
15:08What you want is, uh, you want a shot of tequila,
15:11and a shot of coconut rum,
15:13and one of creme de menthe.
15:14Then you want a smidgen, just a smidgen of Campari,
15:17with the merest suggestion of Angostura's bitters, all right?
15:20You top that up with fresh grapefruit juice,
15:23then you shake it.
15:24Do not stir, all right?
15:26Pour that slowly over broken ice.
15:28Garnish with a slice of orange, slice of lime,
15:31your occasional seasonal fruits.
15:33Top that off with a decorative plastic umbrella.
15:35Two translucent straws, and voila.
15:39Right.
15:40And for you?
15:41Oh, half a lager, please.
15:45Half a lager.
15:47Reg Varney drunk one of them in Holiday on the Buses.
15:54Is he a bit...
15:56funny?
15:58What, don't I?
15:59Yeah.
16:00He's... he's definitely a bandit, that one.
16:03Tonight, we dance with our backs to the wall, Rodney.
16:08I wonder what Monica's doing now.
16:09Well, why don't you phone Mickey Pierce?
16:11He might be able to throw some light on the subject.
16:13I don't talk to him no more.
16:15Hey, look, come on.
16:16I'm your brother, aren't I, eh?
16:18You can tell me.
16:19What broke you two up?
16:20What do you mean, what broke us up?
16:21I found out he was dating Monica.
16:23No, not you and Mickey bloody Pierce.
16:25You and that fat girl.
16:26Oh.
16:27Well...
16:29She thought I was weird.
16:30I was weird.
16:31Well, not so much weird, more...
16:34warped.
16:37Warped?
16:38Yeah.
16:39See...
16:41I've got this fantasy.
16:43Uniforms.
16:44They'd turn me on.
16:47Uniforms?
16:49You mean like postmen and that?
16:54Women in uniforms.
16:55Nurses, air hostesses.
16:57And my favourite, sir...
16:59Policewomen.
17:02Policewomen?
17:03Won't they nick you?
17:07What you're trying to tell me is that this Monica bird,
17:09she sort of like didn't go a bundle on this dressing up idea, is that right?
17:12Well, I didn't tell her.
17:13I tried to do it without her knowing.
17:15How the hell do you dress someone up as Juliet Bravo without them twigging?
17:19I was going to do it gradual, over a period of time.
17:22Last week was her birthday, right?
17:23So I bought her one of them blue serge suits that Paddy the Greek was selling, right?
17:27And I'd already got her the hat, you know, white with a navy blue peak.
17:31And then for Valentine's Day, I was going to get some black stockings
17:33and some of them sensible walking brogues, right?
17:36Then for Christmas, it was going to get a whistle and a set of handcuffs.
17:41Blimey.
17:42You were lucky she gave you the elbow and she did.
17:44Those panda cars cost a bomb, you know.
17:49Monica's right about you.
17:50You know, you're a pervo, Rodney.
17:52That is immoral, you know that, don't you?
17:54Immoral?
17:54Today, you sold a clapped out Batmobile with no brakes.
17:57That's immoral, son.
17:58There's nothing wrong with that motor.
17:59It went, didn't it?
18:00Oh, it went, yeah.
18:01Just didn't stop.
18:02You are the chairman of a cigarette company joining a festival of light.
18:05You can die for my profit, but don't play with yourself in between.
18:11Ah, yeah, all right, all right, Rodney.
18:14Yeah, well, I don't mean the geese are no harm, do I?
18:16I'll pop round and see him tomorrow and hate to have his brakes repaired.
18:18How's that?
18:19No, that's good.
18:20If you do that for me, I'll tell you what I'll do for you.
18:22You'll stop thinking about policewomen?
18:23No, I'll accept my 50% of the profits.
18:26Or my cut runneth over.
18:28A half a lager for sir, and a Caribbean stallion for Mandingo.
18:37That'll be seven pounds.
18:38Seven quid?
18:40Blimey, I can get that for three quid where I come from.
18:42Oh, you're from Jersey, are you?
18:45Enjoy your stay.
18:46It's all about Jersey.
18:48Oh, uh, by the way, the barman said would you like some evaporated milk with that?
18:53Tell the barman to go and get stuffed.
18:55Thank you, sir.
18:58Thank you, sir.
18:59Del.
19:00Del.
19:01Del?
19:01Del, what?
19:07No, not yet.
19:07It's only 20 to wait.
19:08If we pull him now, we've got to buy him drinks all night.
19:11We'll take him back to the flat.
19:13Hey, that's an idea.
19:15I've got 24 litres of that Yugoslavian Riesling in the garage.
19:18We can pop old grandpa in a meter cupboard and have ourselves a little party.
19:21Yeah!
19:22Yeah, go on, Del.
19:24You can charm a tortoise out of a shell.
19:25You can.
19:28Okay, now you look, learn and listen, all right?
19:33Okay, drink up, we're leaving.
19:53You are great, you are.
19:54You're the last miracle left of this earth.
19:57Shut up and drink up, will you?
19:58Yeah, yeah, and have a couple of ravers.
20:00And a couple of geezers.
20:33I'm sorry.
20:45What?
20:47I said I'm sorry.
20:49Shut up.
20:50I didn't know it was that sort of place, did I?
20:53Right blinding night I've had.
20:55Become a member of a gay club, discovered me brother's a pervert,
20:58had a close encounter with two toppers in drag.
21:01Hey, you better not tell anybody about this, Rodney.
21:04I've got my macho reputation to uphold.
21:08I'm warning you, one person, just one, calls me the naked civil servant and I'll kill you.
21:13Don't be silly, Del.
21:14I'm hardly gonna go around bragging I saw my own brother trying to date a couple of transvestites.
21:20It was you clocked them.
21:21You were...
21:21It was...
21:22You...
21:24Just shut up.
21:25Shut up, will you?
21:30Kiss me, honey, do me with your kiss.
21:34Please don't kiss me with your tender lips.
21:37Don't kiss me, Del.
21:41Shut up.
21:41A corner table to your left, a couple of birds.
21:44Oh, don't start that again.
21:45A couple of birds?
21:46Probably Injun Bracket out having a pint.
21:50These are definitely feminine.
21:51Now, all the lumps in the right places this time.
21:54Yeah, where?
21:55Come on and dance with me.
21:56Here, come here.
21:58Don't be like that, you Wally.
21:59I mean, where here?
22:05Yes, definitely soon, mate.
22:07Right, come on.
22:08Belly's in.
22:09Boy, let's just show ourselves this time, shall we?
22:11None of your embarrassing lies.
22:13And don't try and put me down.
22:14All right, all right.
22:15Don't you sound 35.
22:16All right, all right.
22:17Come on, then.
22:22Oh, sorry.
22:23Look at that.
22:23Just dropped the keys.
22:24Sidney's White Alpine E-Type Jack.
22:26Eight-track stereo, you know, level-lock steering wheel.
22:28Not my car.
22:29It is.
22:30Yeah, yeah, it's my car.
22:31Cheers, Del.
22:32That's right.
22:32We just used it while they serviced my Ferrari.
22:34He's 35.
22:39Sit down, will you?
22:39Sit down, Rodney.
22:40Keep your brains warm.
22:41Go on, son.
22:42You don't mind if we join you girls, do you, eh?
22:45No, good.
22:45This is my brother, Rodney.
22:47And I am Del.
22:48That is short for Derek.
22:50Nice name, that, isn't it, eh, Derek?
22:51Yeah, very nice.
22:52I'm Nicky, this is Michelle.
22:53Oh, Nicky, Michelle, yeah.
22:53Nicky and Michelle, they're nice names.
22:55Yeah.
22:56I keep staring on Del and looking madly.
22:58Not a nice Derek, though, is it, that name?
23:00No, not a catch on Derek.
23:08Do you come here often?
23:10I don't believe you.
23:11I don't believe you.
23:13Quite often.
23:14I haven't seen you here before.
23:15No, no, it's because we, uh, you know, we don't come to London very much.
23:18Oh, where do you come from, then?
23:19Peckham.
23:22Yeah, originally.
23:22Originally from Peckham.
23:24But we spend most of our time abroad now, uh, for tax reasons, you know, yeah.
23:28We're on the international professional tennis circuit.
23:31Del.
23:32Yeah, he's an international professional tennis player, and I'm his manager.
23:37No, you must have heard of Rodney.
23:38You've heard of Rodney?
23:39The sporting press call him Ot Rod.
23:43What's his surname?
23:44Trotter.
23:46No, no, that's because we generally concentrate on the big American tournaments, you see.
23:51Do you ever play Wimbledon?
23:52No, no, we only do the big ones.
23:55We just come back from the Miami Open.
23:56Really?
23:57You're not very tan for Miami, are you?
24:00No, no, it was an indoor tournament.
24:02Yes, it's amazing, that, isn't it?
24:04Yeah, I mean, they call it the Miami Open, and then they go and hold it indoors.
24:09No, that's the Yanks for you, though, isn't it?
24:12Anyway, we, no, yeah, well, we can't complain, like, because he won it.
24:16He did.
24:17He, uh, he beat that Jimmy Connolly in the final.
24:20Jimmy Connolly?
24:21What do you mean, Jimmy Connolly?
24:23No, he knocked that diddly-o out in the first round.
24:25Nine sets to one.
24:27Actually, we're only in London to get Ot Rodney measured up for a new bat.
24:31He's a racket.
24:32Bloody is, the prices they charge, darling.
24:35No.
24:36Also, we thought it might be an idea to give him some practice on grass, you see,
24:40because over in the States, they use that stuff called AstroTurf.
24:43What do you prefer, Rodney?
24:46What do you prefer, AstroTurf or grass?
24:49Oh, I don't know.
24:51I never smoked AstroTurf.
25:00You wally!
25:05That's, uh, now, we're not really, uh, professional tennis players.
25:10Just having a laugh.
25:10Yeah, just having a laugh, that's all.
25:12What do you really do?
25:14We're Concorde pilots.
25:19Light me up a cigar, will you, Rodders?
25:27We are struck gold there, Del Boy.
25:30It's the Klondike, my son, the Klondike.
25:33I mean, it's every bloke's dream, isn't it, eh?
25:35Meeting a couple of sorts of their own pad in Chelsea.
25:37I hope it's a penthouse, because I'm a penthouse sort of person,
25:41you know what I mean?
25:41Balconies, rubber plants, all that game.
25:44Hey, if we see him next Friday, perhaps we can stay for the weekend.
25:47Yeah, watch Match of the Day.
25:48Yeah, won't have to spend much, will we?
25:52He won't have to spend much.
25:55Honestly, Rodney, when it comes down to the nitty-gritty,
25:57you are completely devoid of any je ne sais quoi, aren't you, eh?
26:03I mean, these aren't your two halves of Stingo,
26:05a pack of pork scratchings and Bob's Your Uncle type.
26:07No, no, no, no, no.
26:09No, we'll take him to a Bernie Inn.
26:12Yes, I value your experience and wallet there, Del.
26:17Yeah, where's their phone number?
26:18Oh, she wrote it down on my cigar pack.
26:20Ace!
26:23What cigar pack's that then, Del?
26:24The one I just gave you.
26:28Del?
26:28Yeah?
26:30Do you know that cigar pack?
26:31Yeah.
26:33I threw it out the window about a mile and a half back.
26:35Oh, that's all right.
26:40You what?
26:44You pranny!
26:48I don't believe it.
26:57I just do not believe it.
27:00Now look what you've done, Rodney.
27:02You've smashed up Borty's E-Type Jaguar.
27:04No, he's driving it.
27:05Don't play bloody word games with me, Rodney.
27:14What is your game, pal?
27:15What is your game?
27:15Are you blind or something?
27:16I'm really sorry about that, mate.
27:18But the brakes on this thing are a bit dicky.
27:23Hey!
27:25I'm gonna fire it to that lemon glass all day long.
27:28Now come here!