Оnlу Fооls & Ноrsеs Хмаs Sресiаl 6 Раrt 1
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00:00What's up with you, Rodney?
00:02I'm a bit nervous, that's all.
00:04I mean, this bloke we're gonna see, this Justin,
00:07he's not gonna be asking me anything about my private life, that sort of thing, is he?
00:11Of course he ain't. We're not that private.
00:14He's not gonna want to know about you and Cassandra's... little problems.
00:18No, no, good. Cos otherwise I would...
00:21What problems? Me and Cassandra haven't got any problems.
00:25That's not what you said to me the other night.
00:28All right, so there's been one or two minor hiccups in the bedroom department,
00:33but they're personal and I told you, in confidence.
00:36All right. I'm not going to be telling him about chiffons and things.
00:42And I won't tell him what Cassandra wears, either.
00:47Sorry to keep you waiting. It's been a particularly busy morning.
00:50Now, I've got all the basic details about your business career, etc,
00:54but what I'd like to do is to get an insight into the real you.
00:58How you started, how you became so successful,
01:00but more importantly, your lives and your... raison d'être.
01:05Oh, no, no. Laboratory Garni.
01:13So, um, in your own words and in your own time.
01:20Well, where shall I start, Justin?
01:23Well, up to a few years ago, we were just very ordinary people
01:29living, well, very ordinary lives, weren't we, really?
01:34LAUGHTER
01:51And then, as you know, one day,
01:53I discovered an historic and almost priceless artefact.
01:57Anyway, at first, we didn't know what to do with it.
02:00That's right. To begin with, we thought about donating it
02:03to the British Museum as a national treasure.
02:05Yeah, and then we decided to flog it.
02:08So, for all you know,
02:10Rhoda's and me have come in a nigh on six and a half million quid.
02:17Well, after we'd divvied the dosh up, right,
02:19you know, we're making sure that our Uncle Alba got a nice little drink.
02:24But we thought of others first.
02:27We donated to charity.
02:30Anonymously, of course.
02:38So, eventually, we had to start thinking about our future.
02:42So, we sought out this city stockbroker
02:46and he advised us to invest in a new and vibrant venture.
02:51It was a Central American market.
02:53It was attracting massive funds from all over the world.
02:56We were making more money than a Royal Mint.
02:58But we weren't flash.
03:00Oh, no, no, no, we weren't flash.
03:05I mean, even when we went away on business,
03:07we always took the family with us.
03:09There would be me and Raquel, my significant other,
03:13and, of course, Rodney, Cassandra.
03:16Cheers.
03:19And not forgetting my young son, Damien.
03:23He's too bad, isn't he, eh?
03:54Oh, Mr Trotter.
03:56It's good to see you again.
03:59Bonnet de douche, Dominic.
04:01Bonnet de douche.
04:04Adele, you've got to have a word with Damien.
04:07People are complaining.
04:09Oh, no, what's he done now?
04:11He's just weed in the swimming pool.
04:13Oh, bleep it out, Cassandra.
04:15All little boys do enjoy the cash in the swimming pool, don't they?
04:18Oh, bleep it out, Cassandra.
04:20All little boys do enjoy the cash in the swimming pool, don't they?
04:23Yes, but not from the top of the four-metre diving board.
04:32It's a little git.
04:49Ah, this is the bizzow, isn't it, eh, Rodders?
04:52It's not too bad, is it?
04:54Old Uncle Albert, he'd love it here, wouldn't he?
04:57You bet your life he's been here before, eh?
05:00Still, he's happy down there on the coast, isn't he?
05:03Right next door to the sea.
05:05And he's living in sin with old Elsie Partridge, his girlfriend.
05:09His girlfriend? Do me a favour.
05:12I heard that she was the one that cut the ribbon on the opening of Stonehenge.
05:18Yeah, well, at least we haven't got to sit through the Battle of the Baltic every night, eh?
05:22During the war.
05:27Hey, come on, Rodders, I feel lucky tonight.
05:30I doubt I can't, mate.
05:32What?
05:34I promised Cassandra.
05:36No gambling, no discos, no talking to women and no boozing.
05:41Yeah, but what she meant was not to excess.
05:45You're not on probation, are you?
05:48Come on, I'll treat us to a few bottles of champagne just to get us started.
05:52Hey, during the war.
05:54During the war.
05:56I was aboard this battle cruiser.
05:59And then, just as everything seemed to be going so well...
06:10...something...
06:13...something terrible happened.
06:24Shut up.
06:28It turned out that negotiations between the Central American countries had collapsed.
06:33Yeah, we was wiped out.
06:35Nicked the coin.
06:37We'd been paid for the hotel on a credit card.
06:40A credit card which had now been withdrawn.
06:43But Derek is, if nothing else, a very creative businessman.
06:47And he came up with a solution to our dilemma.
06:50Come on!
06:55To the right!
06:59Come on!
07:01This is awesome!
07:03Come on!
07:05Right, it's time to go.
07:10Care to follow me, gentlemen?
07:20How long did it take for the news to hit the UK?
07:22About as long as it took for someone to push a button on the internet.
07:25Suddenly, all our so-called business associates wouldn't return our calls.
07:29We were cast out in a financial wilderness.
07:32Yeah, but fortunately, we come from a strong community.
07:35And when all our old friends from Beckham heard the news, well, they was as gutted as us.
07:50There's a name that crops up every now and then.
07:54Michael Fisher, landlord of a public house, the nag's head, Beckham.
07:59What part did he play in the proceedings?
08:01Well, Mike invested his life savings in our venture.
08:04He actually re-mortgaged the pub.
08:06I see. And will Mr Fisher be giving evidence?
08:08No, he's in prison.
08:10He's awaiting trial.
08:12The fraud squad claims that he tried to recoup his losses by embezzling the brewery.
08:19Never was a man more innocent.
08:22I take it Mr Fisher will be pleading not guilty?
08:25No, he confessed to everything.
08:37For God's sake, Denzel, sit down. You're wearing the marble out.
08:41I can't help it, can I? I've never been a character witness before.
08:44And you think we have?
08:46I'm worried. I think Del's made a terrible mistake.
08:49Well, of course he's made a terrible mistake. That's why he's in court.
08:54No, I mean having you four as character witnesses.
08:57It's like inviting the Manson family to dinner.
09:02Well, we saw Del and Rodney earlier. They seemed quietly confident.
09:05They've arranged to meet Raquel and Cassandra for a celebration lunch,
09:08so I'd avoid Pizza Hut if I were you.
09:12Del was not confident. He was deeply worried.
09:16I mean, he didn't even touch me up.
09:20I'm the one with the most to worry about.
09:22Why?
09:23Because I'm managing the nag's head until Mike is released.
09:26But how exactly do I know what he got up to?
09:29Yeah, I mean, how does Sid know Mike didn't post 80s fiddles
09:32so the police will think they're Sid's fiddles?
09:34There's nothing to be nervous about, Denzel.
09:36All you've got to do is go in there and tell the truth.
09:39Trigg, if I go in there and tell the truth,
09:42Del and Rodney are going to be spending the next five years
09:44sharpening Geoffrey Archer's pencils.
09:48What are you going to do in there, Trigg?
09:50I'm going to tell them I hear voices.
09:52No, Trigg, you're not on trial. You're a character witness.
09:56I know. But I hear voices.
10:01Oh, God. It's going to be one of them days.
10:05I noticed that your respective properties were company owned,
10:08so you both lost your homes.
10:10Yes. I had a lovely little place right on the river.
10:13Yeah, well, I had an estate, didn't I, with peacocks and everything.
10:17Anyway, at least we weren't homeless.
10:20Due to my foresight, some years previously,
10:23I had bought another property.
10:25So at least we had somewhere to live.
10:27Yeah. It's called our old flat, Nils and Mandela House.
10:32It just goes to show you how our fortunes altered.
10:34I mean, suddenly everything had changed.
10:36Yeah.
10:37All our good luck turned to bad.
10:39Every day there was more rows, there was more bad news.
10:43We thought things couldn't possibly get worse.
10:46Oh, boy, how wrong we were.
10:57Good evening and welcome to the quiz show that everyone is talking about.
11:01This is the fastest game show on TV.
11:03This is Monday, this is live, this is Jonathan Ross
11:05and this is Gold Rush.
11:13There's no good looking at me with that Anne Robinson face.
11:17I'll look at you any way I like.
11:19Oh, that's lovely.
11:21Well, at least I am trying to do something about it.
11:24And what exactly are you doing?
11:26I'm after a stockbroker.
11:28You've already got a stockbroker.
11:30That is the one I'm after.
11:32Why didn't he tell me that the stock market was going to crash?
11:35He phoned you at least six times.
11:37He phoned you on the Monday and said he had to speak to you urgently
11:39but you were too busy to speak to him.
11:41Well, I was water skiing.
11:43We've just wasted our bloody birthrights.
11:45And then Trotters Independent Traders hired a helicopter to fly to Nice
11:49to collect some magazines.
11:51Unbelievable.
11:53That was you.
11:56Oh, yeah.
11:58Well, I'm a big man, I've got broad shoulders.
12:00The buck stops here.
12:02I take full responsibility.
12:04Even though it was Rodney's fault.
12:06Me? How the hell was it my fault?
12:09You were the company's director of administration.
12:12That just meant Rodney organised the Christmas parties.
12:14Yeah, and they were about as exciting as a Buddhist's hen night.
12:19You were the managing director.
12:21You were the chairman.
12:22You were the chief executive.
12:23And you were the president.
12:25Oh, it's my fault now, is it?
12:27Well, this is the Chinese year of the dodo.
12:30Wait a minute.
12:32You can't lay all the blame at Derek's door.
12:34I know it's tempting.
12:36So why is it whenever we've got something good going
12:39anything that remotely resembles a future, he noses it up?
12:43That's just the way he is.
12:48And it's unfair of you to blame Rodney for all of this.
12:51After all, he is your brother.
12:53Yes, and just like a brother, he's let me down all his life.
12:58Oh, is that right?
12:59Well, if I've always been such a letdown,
13:02why did you insist on having me around?
13:04To keep my promise to Mum.
13:06And you never know when you might need some bone marrow.
13:14Cassandra, answer that phone, will you, please?
13:16Yes, sir. Straight away, sir.
13:18Don't worry. This time next year, we're going to be millionaires.
13:21This time last week, we were millionaires!
13:24I'm sorry, I can't hear you very well.
13:27Well, go in the kitchen, then!
13:29Don't worry. Don't worry. Look, I've worked it all out. I'm serious.
13:32I've worked out a way in which we can make £100,000.
13:36Now, invest that wisely.
13:38Invest that wisely?
13:39Invest it wisely.
13:41And before you know where you are, you and I can buy a nice little gaff each.
13:44All right.
13:45Go on, then.
13:47What's the plan?
13:48Well, I wasn't going to say anything like, you know...
13:50Well, OK. You ready?
13:52I'm going to apply to go on that new game show, The Gold Rush.
14:01Did I say something amusing?
14:03Derek, last night, one of the questions was,
14:06who introduced the potato to England?
14:08And you said, King Edward.
14:13I didn't hear the question properly.
14:16Oh, look, Derek, look.
14:17If you want to appear on a telly, why not try for something more simple?
14:20Like, go on, stars in their eyes, it's Barry White.
14:24Daryl. Daryl.
14:26It's Elsie Partridge's son.
14:28Well, what do you want?
14:29It's Uncle Albert.
14:31I'm sorry.
14:34I'm so sorry.
14:50Right.
14:51Are we ready?
14:52Shall I bring a rope?
14:53Best leave it till the hearse arrives.
14:55Yeah.
14:56All right, come on.
15:21Hello, we're Albert's nephews,
15:24Derek and Rodney Trotter from Peckham.
15:27Hello, I'm Marion.
15:29I did a bit of cleaning for Albert.
15:31Lovely old man.
15:34Went on a bit.
15:38Excuse me, excuse me.
15:40This is Cassandra, that's Rodney's wife.
15:43This is Damien, that's my son.
15:46This is Raquel, she's my significant other.
15:49Nice to meet you all.
15:51Please, come on in and have a drink.
16:06Damien put it back.
16:11I felt bad, you know, about leaving him here on his own
16:15while we was all off globetrotting.
16:17He wasn't on his own, he was with Elsie.
16:19Yeah, but Elsie was in that rest home,
16:21weren't she, for the last six months?
16:23But he had all her family around him.
16:25Yeah, he was having a good time.
16:27Yeah.
16:28Just that I wish that we'd taken him with us
16:31when we went to Barbados and all them other places.
16:33Well, we did ask.
16:35But if you remember, the ancient mariner,
16:38who'd been round the world more times than a Russian satellite,
16:41never had a passport.
16:44Would you admit they didn't find that out?
16:46Our work would have been in right trouble.
16:57Hey, Rodney.
16:58Yeah?
16:59Look, the old sod.
17:01Only had his own monogrammed brandy glass, didn't he?
17:04Yeah, he loved his cognac, didn't he?
17:06Just to keep the old coals at bay, eh?
17:09Remember?
17:10Oh, pardon me, I'm Roland.
17:12I was married to Albert's niece, Eileen.
17:14This is my brother, Rodney.
17:15Rodney?
17:16Yeah.
17:17And Cassandra, come and say hello.
17:18This is Cassandra, Rodney's wife.
17:20Hello.
17:21And Damien.
17:22That's my son, Damien.
17:23Damien.
17:24And this is...
17:25Raquel.
17:26And this is Derek, my significant other.
17:31Nice to meet you all.
17:33Well, I suppose we'll all miss him in our way, eh?
17:36Yeah.
17:37Missing him already.
17:39I'll tell you one thing we won't miss, though.
17:41All those bloody wartime sagas.
17:45Oh.
17:47Actually, Roland, we used to love hearing about his past.
17:51That's right. Couldn't get enough of it.
17:53Yeah, but, God, he did go on, though, didn't he?
17:56He never bloody stopped.
17:59Yeah, well, you'd have to blame me for that one, Roland.
18:03You see, I used to love them stories.
18:05I loved them so much that when he got to the point and said,
18:08and then Germany surrendered, I'd say,
18:10Tell us about the day that war was declared,
18:12and he'd start all over again and go right the way through it.
18:15We'd stay up all night sometimes, wouldn't we, wouldn't we?
18:17Yeah, well, more fool you, Derek. I used to just tell him straight.
18:20I'd say, Oi, knock off the John Wayne stuff.
18:22To hear you go on, you'd think you'd won the war all by yourself.
18:25Yeah, well, in many ways, that's true.
18:27Cos everyone involved was fighting their own individual war,
18:30wouldn't they?
18:31Yeah, yes.
18:32You've got to remember that a lot of blokes lost their lives
18:35for our liberty just so that 50 years later,
18:38prats like you would have the freedom to knock them.
18:41All right? All right?
18:42Take it easy, Dil.
18:44I tell you what, Roland, have they got a garden here?
18:46Cos I think you and I ought to go outside and have a more detailed chat.
18:50Oh, come on, Dil. That's enough.
18:52Go on, Dad, take him.
18:54No, no, hold on. I didn't mean to upset anybody.
18:57Calm down.
18:58All right?
18:59The hearse is on its way.
19:01I'll go and get a roof, OK? So you just...
19:03All right, Rodney, all right.
19:09Have you calmed down?
19:12Yes, yes, all right. It's all right, sweetheart.
19:16I'll tell you another thing.
19:18None of the others have bothered to turn up, have they, eh?
19:21Boy, see, Marlene Denzel triggered that lot.
19:23Oh, don't worry, Dil, boy, we'll be there.
19:25You know, pay our last respects.
19:27Well, where are they?
19:29You would have thought Sid would have put in an appearance.
19:31I mean, he was in the war.
19:33Oh, he's in that pub and he's making too much money.
19:36Well, maybe they have problems. It is a bit of a journey.
19:39I tell you what, good old Mike would have made more of an effort to get here,
19:43and he's in the neck.
19:44Come on, you, outside.
19:46Well, well, well.
19:52I'm sorry. Again, I really didn't mean to offend anybody.
19:55It's OK. His emotion's running a bit high, that's all.
19:58Yeah. I bet old Bunny's up there having a right laugh, I'd say.
20:01I bet he is.
20:04Bunny?
20:06Yeah, Albert.
20:08Why'd you call him Bunny?
20:10Well, that's what they called him in the RAF, didn't they?
20:12Cos his surname was Warren.
20:30Is that a Spitfire, Dad?
20:32Is that a Spitfire, Dad?
20:47We're at the wrong funeral.
20:52Yes.
20:54Good dog.
21:02Good dog.
21:33Gentlemen, you have my deepest sympathy for your loss,
21:36but I must bring you back to the matter in hand.
21:39Are there any mitigating circumstances you'd like me to inform the court of?
21:44Oh, yes. You must remember to tell them that we were slaves to detail.
21:48Weren't we, Rodney? Absolutely.
21:50We made certain that we always got our checks off to the Inland Revenue on time.
21:54Always.
21:56Be outstanding.
21:58The Inland Revenue versus Trotters Independent Traders.
22:02Fair do's, they bounced, but they was always on time.
22:12I don't believe it. Where did you get all this crap from?
22:17Ah, I thought they were going to bang you up.
22:19Well, you was wrong, weren't you, rat boy?
22:22I thought they were going to bang you up.
22:25Well, you was wrong, weren't you, rat boy?
22:27I've been tolerated of all responsibility.
22:29So you both got off?
22:31Not quite.
22:33You sit down, I'll get you a cup of tea.
22:35No, no, I need something stronger than tea, Rachel.
22:38What happened, Dad?
22:39The court declared me bankrupt.
22:41Does that mean you're going to prison?
22:42No! Well, not yet.
22:44Why does he keep going on about prison?
22:46No, all his mates' dads are doing time. He feels left out.
22:49Damien, go to your room and tidy it.
22:51I did it this morning.
22:52Well, go and tidy it again.
22:55So, what exactly does it mean?
22:58It means that the inland revenue give you a year to pay off your debt.
23:02Then they come in and take all your goods.
23:04Well, anything of any value.
23:06So it won't affect us, then.
23:09We have got something of value, Rachel. You're sitting in it.
23:12This flat, it's our home.
23:14They'll steal the roof from over our heads.
23:16Oi, you take it from me, that is not going to happen, Derek.
23:19Well, have you got an idea then, Rodney?
23:21No, I mean you've had it on the market for five years and no-one's even looked at it.
23:25That's because I had it up for its true value.
23:28They'll come along and auction it for a third of its price.
23:31So what are we going to do, then?
23:33I suppose you could always look for a job.
23:38Trigger said they're recruiting down at his depot.
23:41The pay is not too bad, either. I know it's only road sweeping, but...
23:45She's right, Dil.
23:48Yeah, I suppose so.
23:51I'll help you fill in your application form, if you like.
23:54Me?
23:56You can't expect Dil to go out sweeping the roads.
23:59Not at his age.
24:01I was talking about you.
24:03Me?
24:04Oh, come on. Can you honestly see Rodney pushing a broom around?
24:07It's all right, they give training.
24:11So, how much do you actually owe the taxman?
24:1448,750.
24:17Four.
24:18What?
24:1948,754.
24:22Four?
24:23Plus interest.
24:24Oh, well.
24:26Never really liked this place, anyway.
24:28Look what you've done now.
24:31You've upset her, haven't you?
24:33What, by adding four quid?
24:36No, it was Dopey there, talking about interest.
24:39It's got her all worried.
24:40Oh, I don't want to talk to you any more.
24:42Good.
24:43Let's have a shower.
24:44Yeah, well, don't use all the hot water.
24:48It's all right, sweetheart.
24:50Now, come on, we'll soon be back on our feet again.
24:52How?
24:53You owe nearly 49,000 pounds, plus interest.
24:57Yeah, it's not a very good start, I must admit.
25:00No, let me do that, let me do that.
25:02Go on, you get some plates out.
25:04Anyway, it's going to be all right, I worked it all out.
25:07I'm a trader, ain't I, eh?
25:08I've been trading all my life, since I was 12.
25:10I could sell rice to the Chinese.
25:12Yeah, so I'm going to go back to trading.
25:14I'm going to work for a little local firm.
25:16Yeah? Like who?
25:18It's called Trotters Independent Traders.
25:21What are you talking about?
25:22The firm's been liquidised.
25:24Or liquidated, or whatever the stupid word is.
25:26No, no, no, the firm can go on trading.
25:28It's just that I've been disqualified from running it.
25:31That doesn't mean to say that I can't work for it.
25:34All we need is a new managing director.
25:37Oh, God, I actually got excited then.
25:39Derek, who is going to be stupid enough
25:41to take over Trotters Independent Traders?
25:49All right, Rodgers, there you go, get it down your neck.
25:51Oh, cheers, mate.
25:52Well, I don't know what we're going to do, Rodney, do you?
25:55No, me neither.
25:56I mean, here I am, disqualified from running me own company.
26:00If they take out a loan, the taxman will nick me.
26:03If I work in cash, the customs and excise will nick me.
26:06My credit rating is so low, I can't even pay with money.
26:12If only there was some way in which we could carry on trading.
26:17Yeah.
26:20No, it's no use you trying to cheer me up, Rodney.
26:24No, I'm afraid the company's finished, it's gone.
26:26Trotters Independent Traders is no more.
26:29It's kaput.
26:31It's dead.
26:32Dead as the emu.
26:37Well, that's not strictly true, is it?
26:40I mean, the company can still operate,
26:43it's just that I'm banned from running it.
26:46Oh, no.
26:52If only there was someone out there, Rodney,
26:54who could take over the firm, someone young and enthusiastic,
26:58someone full of enthusiasm and ideas, eh?
27:02I wonder who.
27:06Yeah.
27:10Young and energetic, with ideas and enthusiasm.
27:17Hang on a minute.
27:18You've thought of someone, Rodney?
27:21Oh, no, he emigrated, didn't he?
27:26Emigrated, didn't he? What a wobbly.
27:29Honestly, I believe him all the time.
27:33It might be one person, Dale.
27:35Whom?
27:38Nay.
27:43You? How do you mean, Rodney?
27:45Look, look, right, you've been made bankrupt, right?
27:48And are therefore not allowed to run a company, right?
27:52I haven't.
27:54No, you've got me all confused now.
27:58Let me explain in simple terms, right?
28:01Legally, there is nothing to stop me
28:04taking over Trotter's independent traders.
28:08Wait a minute, let me see if I've got this right.
28:10What you're saying is that you could run the firm?
28:14By George, I think he's got it.
28:16That's a brilliant idea, Rodney.
28:18Argent, competent, as they say in Cairns.
28:21Yeah.
28:22Right, I'll tell you what we'll do,
28:23we'll go down and see our lawyer tomorrow,
28:24go straight round Companies House
28:26and make you the new managing director.
28:28Rodney Trot...
28:29Hey, Raquel, guess what?
28:31Rodney has only come up with a brilliant idea to save the family.
28:34He's going to be the new managing director
28:36of Trotter's independent traders.
28:38I'm going to be in charge of sales, purchasing and finance, that's all.
28:42Congratulations, Rodney.
28:44I'm surprised you didn't think of that, Dale.
28:46Yeah, no, it's just what I was thinking.
28:51Damien, go open that keyhole.
28:54Ha, ha, ha.
28:57He's a lad, isn't he?
29:02The world's full of surprises, isn't it?
29:04Look at that.
29:05Nicky Pearce has learnt to read.
29:08Trotter's independent traders,
29:10now under new management,
29:12managing director, Rodney Trotter.
29:15You seen this?
29:17Rodney Trotter's the managing director.
29:19Yeah, and Cliff Richard's on 40 silk hat a day.
29:24No, no, it's true, have a look.
29:26Consultancy and party planning.
29:29Yeah.
29:30Do you remember the last two?
29:31Depressing, weren't it?
29:32That was Albert's funeral.
29:34No, I'm talking about Rodney's wedding.
29:39I'm going to give him a call.
29:40Wind him right up.
29:41Oh, leave him alone, he's doing his best.
29:43Yeah, and they've just suffered a setback,
29:45losing all the money and Dale being made bankrupt.
29:47Yeah, don't you think it'll be a rather insensitive act on your part, Nicky?
29:51Yeah, I suppose you're right.
29:53Yeah, I'll use my phone.
29:58Liam!
30:00We're going out in a minute
30:01to celebrate Daddy's new job with Uncle Rodney.
30:04Get yourself ready and go over to Wesley's flat.
30:06We'll come and collect you later.
30:08Yeah, yeah, don't force me, bitch, me gone is hungry.
30:12Hey, hey, hey!
30:13You don't stop listening to that gangster rat,
30:15I'm going to give you a rat right round your lug hole.
30:17Now go on, go and get yourself ready.
30:18Go on, off you go.
30:20Huggy.
30:21Rat boy.
30:22Huggy, huggy, huggy!
30:23Will you get out of here!
30:26You ready, Rodney?
30:27I'm waiting for Cassandra.
30:29She's just getting...
30:30Come on, hurry up, darling.
30:32...dressed.
30:39Very nice.
30:40I don't believe you did that.
30:43Laddy, we're not even going out with you.
30:45Why not?
30:46Because we're going out on our own.
30:48Cassandra suggested it.
30:50I think me becoming managing director has made a difference.
30:53What'd I say to her?
30:54Power is an aphrodisiac, don't they?
30:56Yeah, well, I must say, she's bubbling.
31:01Yeah, well, I'm taking her out to a club.
31:04See, first thing we did when we met was dance,
31:07so I thought, you know, it might rekindle those old memories.
31:10Now you want to take her out to dinner.
31:12There's a nice new place open down Jomo Kenyatta Grove.
31:16No, no, you don't understand, sir,
31:18cos dancing is the human form of the mating ritual, innit?
31:22Yeah, I know.
31:23That is if you are a good dancer.
31:26I'm a good dancer.
31:27You're not.
31:28You're not a good dancer.
31:30I saw you dancing in that disco in Monte Carlo.
31:33You looked like Billy Elliot with worms.
31:37Mind you, if what I've seen in there is anything to go by,
31:41you're on a winner tonight.
31:43Look, will you stop talking about my wife?
31:45I know Nick...
31:46Really?
31:50G-string is more like dental floss.
32:02Evening, Dale.
32:03Oh, hello, Treak. Come in.
32:05Just going jolly Raquel up.
32:07Raquel, will you hurry up?
32:08I'll have to have another shave in a minute.