Оnlу Fооls & Ноrsеs S08 Е02 - Modern Men Рart 2
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Sometimes I think about the future.
00:04I don't want to end up a lonely bachelor, like my cousin Ronnie.
00:09Then again, he did always have a strange taste in women.
00:13In what way?
00:15Well, there were men.
00:18I remember Ronnie.
00:21Do you ever miss being married, Denzil?
00:23Oh, there's some things I miss.
00:26I'd like to meet a nice woman, though.
00:28You want me to take her out, give her something to eat?
00:31Yeah. Get to know each other a bit, you know?
00:34Might like each other.
00:36Then who knows, in time...
00:40maybe she might do a bit of ironing for me.
00:46Wait.
00:48Yeah, hang on a minute. There's just something I want to know.
00:50How come you, the crew of a British naval vessel, right,
00:54managed to end up 30 miles inland?
00:58All right, come on, we've got to go.
01:00We were sailing in this flotilla.
01:02Oh, God.
01:04On our way up to Denmark, we were,
01:06to drop off military supplies to the Royal Marines.
01:10Our ship, HMS Cod, was at the rear of the fleet,
01:14and Albert was at the wheel.
01:17Well, we got a radio message to say
01:19a German fleet was approaching us from the opposite direction.
01:23Pretty soon, Jerry spotted us,
01:25and Albert, without waiting for orders,
01:27threw the ship to port.
01:29And five minutes later, we crashed.
01:32Into what?
01:34France.
01:36We hit some rocks on the Normandy coast and ran aground.
01:40Well, we were sitting ducks, weren't we?
01:43We knew Jerry was on our tail, so we legged it overland.
01:47We must have been going for two days and nights.
01:50And finally, we ended up here, in this little village.
01:54Where the people, God bless them, took us in and hid us.
01:58Oh, the Gestapo came looking for us,
02:00but they never found us until that fateful day
02:03when we were betrayed.
02:05No, no.
02:07Now, I don't want to upset you, but...
02:10Albert was a bit of a lad in those days, you know?
02:14He could sing, he could dance, he could play the piano.
02:17And the women liked him.
02:19And he liked the women.
02:23And during our stay here, how shall I put it?
02:26He kept himself busy.
02:30I don't believe him.
02:32The Geretsi are all gay.
02:36Too sweet.
02:38Well, it was every man for himself in those days.
02:41I mean, it was a war on.
02:43They were hard times.
02:44Everybody just grabbed a little bit of pleasure.
02:53LAUGHTER
03:06LAUGHTER
03:09LAUGHTER
03:26Most of the men were either away fighting or locked up.
03:29And when they got to hear about Albert's shenanigans,
03:32they weren't best pleased,
03:34which was understandable under the circumstances.
03:36So, who grasped you up?
03:38The French resistance.
03:40One day, the SS just turned up and rounded us all up.
03:44And would you believe it?
03:46Albert, with one or two others,
03:48escaped and made it back to Blighty.
03:53Excuse me, I'm just going to the gents.
04:01Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
04:04I think I am.
04:09LAUGHTER
04:11It's another one, look.
04:16Good God, it's like a geriatric village of the damned.
04:22I don't know about Sainte-Claire-la-Chapelle.
04:25They should have renamed this place Trottersville.
04:30What do you think of all the other countries he's visited
04:33and what he must have got up to?
04:35America? India?
04:37He didn't even leave Australia alone, did he?
04:40Africa? Middle East?
04:42Remember that woman he mentioned?
04:44He's been putting it about all over the place.
04:46Raquel was wrong.
04:48It wasn't like Captain Corelli's mandolin.
04:51It was more like Captain Birdseye's banjo.
05:04Merci beaucoup.
05:06Au revoir.
05:08I really don't understand you.
05:10I mean, we could have bought a bottle of duty-free wine on the ferry.
05:13Yeah, I know, but things in here are probably a euro or two cheaper, aren't they?
05:17And we've got to save our money, haven't we?
05:20Yeah, I suppose.
05:25I don't believe it.
05:27What's that, Rodney?
05:29Look over there. It's only Denzel.
05:32You're having me on, aren't you?
05:34You're right. Hey, hello, Denzel.
05:37Hey, Del, Rod, hi.
05:41Fancy meeting you here.
05:43Just what I was going to say. What are you doing here?
05:46Well, I had a free day and Christmas is coming,
05:48so I thought I'd pop over and get a couple of packs of cheap beer.
05:52What brings you here?
05:54Oh, well, we were just coming back from Uncle Albert's reunion
05:57and Rodney said, as we're passing the warehouse,
05:59why don't we whip in here and get a couple of cases of wine?
06:02Didn't you, Rodney?
06:04Yeah.
06:06Tell me, how have you got your truck with you?
06:08Well, yeah, it's out the back, actually. Why do you ask?
06:11No, it's just that I was thinking that we haven't got much room in our little van
06:15and I thought, well, if Denzel's got some space in his truck,
06:19we could take just, you know, a couple of extra cases, couldn't we, Rodney?
06:23Yeah, maybe.
06:25Oh, boy. Dave.
06:28Oh, look, it's Trigger. Would you believe it?
06:31Only if I'd been heavily sedated.
06:35Hello, Trigger. What are you doing here?
06:38You said Mia's here at four o'clock.
06:46I don't believe you sometimes, Trigger.
06:49This is a set-up, isn't it?
06:51No, no, no, no, no, no.
06:54It was just a little surprise for you, Rodders.
06:57Oh, right. Here we are, surrounded by a million gallons of cheap booze.
07:00Denzel's got his truck outside and the nag's head's waiting for its cellar to be filled.
07:04Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi! Keep your noise down, will you?
07:08Oh, OK, I admit it.
07:10It was my fault. I agreed to it.
07:14Agreed to it with who?
07:16Well, with me.
07:18Well, you shouldn't have. I'm running the firm now.
07:21Rodney, everyone's at it. It's just that we're a bit slow on the uptake.
07:25I don't believe this.
07:28And we need the money.
07:30Oh.
07:33OK, but I wasn't looking, all right?
07:35All right. Well, say that you was in the toilet.
07:38Good boy, Rodney. You know it makes sense.
07:40I paid for it, Del. They're loading it out back.
07:42Hey, he's paid for it. Come on.
07:53Is this it?
07:56And that.
08:00Oh, my God.
08:03Come on, Denzel, we'd better help out. We haven't got long.
08:06No, it's all right, Tree. Got plenty of time, yeah?
08:08Yeah, plenty of time.
08:09Now, wait a minute.
08:10Did any of us move our watches forward one hour to French time?
08:13No.
08:14No.
08:15No!
08:16Oh, my God, we've only got half an hour before the ferry...
08:19You jet-stick, Rodney!
08:23Yeah, yeah, yeah!
08:36Don't move! Don't move!
08:49Voilà.
08:53So how was Albert's reunion?
08:55Oh, yeah, brilliant.
08:57Thousands of people were there, weren't there?
08:59Oh, yeah, there was thousands and thousands, you know,
09:01and there's a fly bath like that and everything, yeah.
09:03Yeah, I tried to phone you, but I couldn't get through.
09:05Oh, I meant to tell you we had a letter yesterday.
09:07They've cut the phone off. Something to do with an unpaid bill.
09:09Oh, all right, I'll sort it out tomorrow.
09:12I'll tell them I couldn't call them cos they cut the phone off.
09:15Have you eaten?
09:16Yeah, on the ferry. Had a quick omelette salad.
09:19Del had a mutton madras and four Irish coffees.
09:21Yeah, very nice of us too, didn't we?
09:23It's brilliant over in France.
09:25You should have seen the size of this wine warehouse we went to.
09:27I said to Denzel we should have this sort of thing back in Britain.
09:30Denzel was with you?
09:32Eh?
09:35Yes, yes. Yes, he was there.
09:37Well, we just bumped into him.
09:39Like, you know, it was a coincidence, wasn't it, eh?
09:41Yeah, amazing.
09:43Yeah, it was absolutely...
09:44Oh, look, look what I've got here, look.
09:46There, a bottle of champagne to celebrate our safe return, all right?
09:52I mean, all the arrangements we made with Sid.
09:55Del says to him, keep the pub cellar clear, we'll be back at eight,
09:59and what does he do?
10:01What?
10:02What do you mean, what? You were there.
10:04He allowed the brewery to make a delivery.
10:06The way that brewery carries on, anyone would think they own a pub.
10:11Sugar!
10:17Bloody hell.
10:20So, let me get this straight.
10:22You just happened to meet Denzel in a wine warehouse in France,
10:26and did Denzel have his lorry with him?
10:28Don't know.
10:29We didn't ask.
10:30Only, I imagine you could be quite sure he had a lorry with him.
10:33I don't know.
10:34I don't know.
10:35I don't know.
10:36I don't know.
10:37I don't know.
10:38We didn't ask.
10:39Only, I imagine you could get an awful lot of beer on the back of that lorry.
10:42And did Denzel follow you back?
10:44No.
10:45No, he stayed over there.
10:46Yeah.
10:47Yeah, that's right.
10:48He's having a little holiday.
10:49Yes, he's having...
10:50Oh, look what I've got in here.
10:52I just remembered.
10:53Look at that.
10:54I got you a French football shirt, son.
10:56Oh, brilliant.
10:57Dad, can I try it on?
10:58Of course you can.
10:59Go on.
11:00Off you go.
11:01Here you go, Cass.
11:02Look, I got you some special French perfume.
11:04And look what I got you, sweetheart.
11:05There you are.
11:06Oh, Del.
11:07They're lovely.
11:08Yeah, well, they say that diamonds are a girl's best friend.
11:12But zircon can be good company.
11:20Hello?
11:22Del?
11:23It's Denzel.
11:24Denzel?
11:25What's he doing phoning me all the way from France?
11:28No, he's down at your garage.
11:31I know what you've been up to.
11:32Why did you lie to me?
11:34Because, darling, I didn't think the truth would do me any favours.
11:38We need the money, Raquel, and that is no lie.
11:41Let me speak to him.
11:43Bonjour, Denzel.
11:48Champs-Élysées.
11:52Espreconze lingo.
11:54Espreconze de olde onglaise.
11:58Give it up, Del.
11:59We don't speak of words.
12:01So what are we going to do with him?
12:03We'll just have to let him go, won't we?
12:05You can't just let him go.
12:07A stranger on this estate.
12:08Can you imagine what a gangs will do to him?
12:10Yeah.
12:11For all we know, he could be part of Al-Qaeda.
12:13Oh, stupid.
12:15Yeah.
12:16I mean, does he look like he works in a furniture store?
12:22No, no, no.
12:23Denzel, let's not even think about it.
12:25We'll just have to drop him off somewhere.
12:27And what happens if he gets pulled by the old bill?
12:29Oh, he'll be all right.
12:30They'll take him to that new immigration centre down at Croydon
12:33and look after him there, won't they?
12:34Yeah, but he was hiding in my truck
12:36and that's a £2,000 fine for starters.
12:38Yeah.
12:39And some of these illegals can't deal with the police
12:42by telling them who brought them in.
12:43How do you think us two would fare under British justice, eh?
12:46Well, we can't leave him in here all night, can we?
12:49Cos he'll most probably suffocate or something.
12:52We'll have to take him back to the flat.
12:54Oh, yeah. What are we going to say to Raquel?
12:56We'll say, excuse me, darling, we've got a bloke here,
12:58we don't know who he is, don't know where he comes from,
13:00make him double egg and chips, will you?
13:02You are a plonker, Rodney.
13:04Have you got a better idea?
13:06At least this way we can keep an eye on him
13:08and stop him going to the police.
13:10Oh, I don't believe this.
13:13All right.
13:14Look, you carry on unloading
13:16and we'll take him somewhere.
13:25So what are we going to say?
13:26I don't know. I do not know.
13:27We're just going to have to play it by ear.
13:29All I know is we've got to get him pugged away somewhere.
13:32Come on.
13:34Yank and I enter the penalty area, back towards...
13:37Was that close enough?
13:42Look who we bumped into.
13:45Yeah.
13:47He was just walking past.
13:51Aren't you going to introduce us?
13:55Yes, yes, yes, sorry, yes, yes, of course, of course.
13:58Um, this, this is Raquel, who is my significant other.
14:02This is Cassandra, who is Rodney's wife.
14:05And this is Damien, who is my son.
14:08And this, and this, this, this is Rodney's friend.
14:16Yes, yes, this is my friend.
14:21Does he have a name?
14:22Don't be silly. Of course he has a name.
14:24Well, of course.
14:25Of course he has a name.
14:29Well?
14:30Isn't that my name?
14:32His name, his name is Gary.
14:37Yes, yes, this is Gary.
14:41Good old Gary.
14:44Nice to meet you, Gary.
14:46Hi, Gary.
14:48He's, he's a little, you know, he's a little bit shy.
14:53This boy, he probably wants to sit down.
14:55Rodney, help him sit down, Gary, sit down.
14:57Sit down, good boy.
14:58There he is, look, he's sitting, look.
14:59Like that, there he goes.
15:01Where do you know him from?
15:03Who, Gary?
15:04Yeah.
15:06Um.
15:07Oh, yeah, it was from Rodney's evening school.
15:10Yes, yes, from my evening school.
15:12But I was at your evening school.
15:14That's where we met.
15:16I don't remember Gary.
15:18No, it was just another evening school.
15:20When did you go there, then?
15:22About an evening.
15:26Would you like something to drink, Gary?
15:30Gary?
15:35Gary?
15:41Yes, he said Gary, Gary.
15:43This is why he says it.
15:45Oh, Gary.
15:46Oh, you killed me.
15:49He can't speak any English, can he?
15:51No, of course, speaking English, well, he's like the talking clock.
15:54Once he starts, you can't stop him.
15:56Did you meet Rodney at evening school, Gary?
16:02Gary.
16:05Oh, my God, he's an illegal immigrant.
16:08Oh, shh.
16:09Raquel, don't say that too loudly around this estate.
16:12You'll cause a panic.
16:13Oh, yes, you've gone illegal.
16:16Sweetheart, I'm sorry, I really am sorry.
16:18This is nothing to do with us.
16:20We found him in the back of Denzil's lorry.
16:22Look, we didn't have a clue he was there.
16:24He must have snuck in while we were having a coffee.
16:27What are you planning to do with him?
16:29I don't know.
16:30Well, he can't stay here.
16:31Well, where's he going to go?
16:32Well, what are you suggesting we do?
16:33Just sit him down to watch the football?
16:35Well, we can't just chuck him out on this estate, Raquel.
16:37He'll be a crack addict by the second half.
16:41What I think we might have to do...
16:44No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
16:47It's all right, it's all right.
16:49No, no, no.
16:50Look, look.
16:51Lighter, see?
16:52Lighter.
16:53Right.
16:54Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
16:57Got it.
16:58Mm.
17:06Mm, mm.
17:08So, two teaspoonfuls of curry paste.
17:13That's one.
17:16Two.
17:18One for the pot, Kusty.
17:21Yes.
17:22I thought I could smell something.
17:24Yeah, I know.
17:25You can't wait for this, can you, sweetheart?
17:27I can.
17:28Oh, no, no, you've got to take your time.
17:30Take your time with this.
17:32Yeah, the longer the better.
17:35Right, just got to find out what nationality Gary is
17:38and then hand him over to the organisation that represents his people.
17:41But he doesn't speak any English.
17:43So how do you intend to find out where he comes from?
17:45Well, we...
17:47We'll find out.
17:49Where's Gary?
17:51He's having a shower.
17:52I've lent him some of Del's clothes, Raquel.
17:54I hope you don't mind.
17:55Well, you could give him some of Del's aftershave, too, if you like.
17:58Things are bad enough for him as it is.
18:01Del?
18:02Hmm?
18:03Robbie's only gone and...
18:04Look at that.
18:05Do you know what I'm going to call this?
18:07I'm calling this Chicken Trotter.
18:10That could be a very apt name for it.
18:18Ah, all right, Gary?
18:21Got it.
18:23Yeah, well, you come and sit down, son.
18:26All right?
18:28Oh, my God.
18:31He looks like a set of traffic lights.
18:34What does he mean, Damien?
18:36He probably comes from some war-torn country somewhere.
18:39He's probably witnessed mass murder, torture.
18:43Oh, yeah.
18:45Maybe he was one of the murderers and torturers.
18:50No, I mean, he don't look like a mass murderer, does he?
18:53Dressed in Del's pyjamas, Adolf Hitler wouldn't look like a mass murderer.
18:57Oh, my God.
18:58You could have colour-coordinated him a bit, Rodney.
19:00Yeah, well, fashion design never was my strong point, Raquel.
19:04All right, here we go.
19:06Right.
19:07Oh, very nice.
19:08Very, very tasteful, Gary.
19:10Yeah.
19:11Got him.
19:12That's good, boy.
19:13I'll put my stuffing gear round that, will you?
19:15Why did you make him a curry?
19:17Just wanted to make him feel at home, didn't I?
19:19Del, I don't think he's Asian.
19:21He's more Arabic.
19:22All right, let's pop down to the perfect pizza
19:25and pick up a deep pan pepperoni and sheep's head.
19:29It's only a ruby.
19:31It doesn't matter if you're an Asian, an Arab or an Eskimo.
19:34Everyone loves a ruby.
19:37There you are.
19:39Oh, no!
19:42A glass of water.
19:43Got him!
19:44Yeah, good boy, good boy.
19:45Got him!
19:46Rodney, here, I'll take that.
19:47You can finish that out there.
19:49Got him!
19:50Got him!
19:52I think maybe the vindaloo might have been a bit hot for the boy.
19:57It's the police.
19:58I know, it's the police.
19:59Oh, this is just great.
20:00I'm going to give birth in Hollowell.
20:03Shh, shh, shh, shh.
20:04I don't know, just shh.
20:08Hello, who is it?
20:09Doughboy, it's Boise.
20:12Oh, it's only Boise.
20:16Well, this is an unpleasant surprise.
20:21Rodney.
20:22Boise.
20:24Good evening, Raquel.
20:25May I say you're looking particularly lovely tonight.
20:29And you too, Cassandra, you have that maternal glow
20:32that only comes from being in the family way.
20:37Hello, little man.
20:39Do not touch me, batty boy.
20:43He's a character, isn't he?
20:46What do you want, Boise?
20:47Oh, a large cognac would be lovely, thank you, Raquel.
20:50You'll be lucky, Boise.
20:52Here you are, Rodney, cheers.
20:54Now, Boise, if you think I'm driving for you tonight,
20:56you've got another thing coming, pal.
20:57Oh, no, it's not that, Del.
21:00I've got a bit of a problem.
21:01I've been chucked out of my house.
21:06Oh, no, Marlene, she's finally thrown you out.
21:08No, Marlene didn't, the police did.
21:11The house is full of gas.
21:13Those bloody log effect fires Lenny called me fitted
21:16are leaking all over the place.
21:19Well, on top of all that,
21:20the gas board can't turn it off at the mains
21:22because Lenny snapped the handle off.
21:25They've evacuated the entire road.
21:27Well, Marlene's gone off to her mum's with Tyler
21:29and I was going to check into a hotel,
21:33but I left everything in the house.
21:35Wallet, credit cards, car keys, the lot.
21:37Fire Brigade won't let me back in
21:39because it's too dangerous.
21:41So all I've got is what I'm wearing.
21:45Well, that is bad news, isn't it, Boise?
21:47So what are you doing here?
21:48Well, I was in trouble, Del,
21:49so I thought I'd go and seek the help of my best friend.
21:52But you decided to call in here first?
21:56Derek is my best friend, he always has been.
21:58Yeah, well, on your bike, Boise.
22:01I just need a bed for the night, Del.
22:03I'm throwing myself on your mercy.
22:05Why can't you stay at Marlene's mum's with your wife and child?
22:08Because the batty old mare won't let me in her house.
22:11We had a row at that wedding.
22:13She cast doubt upon my personal hygiene.
22:17Apparently there was this horrible smell of onion
22:19and she blamed me.
22:24Couldn't you stay with Trigger?
22:26Have you ever spent an evening in Trigger's flat?
22:28It's like having a seance with Mr Bean.
22:31Well, Denton's got room at his place.
22:33Yeah, but he's not there, nobody knows when he's going to be back.
22:36Why do I get the feeling you don't want me here?
22:39No, it's not that, Boise.
22:40It is.
22:42No, look, it's just that we're overcrowded.
22:44Raquel and I got our bedroom,
22:46Cassandra and Rodney got their bedroom,
22:48Damon's got his bedroom.
22:49Yeah, well, the sofa will do.
22:50Oh, well, Gary's sleeping on that.
22:52Gary?
22:54Gary?
22:56Good God!
22:57This is Gary, it's Rodney's friend.
22:59What happened here?
23:00Did he get ready for bed in a power cut?
23:08They're your pyjamas and dressing gown, aren't they?
23:10You got it in one.
23:11Yeah, I should have realised it.
23:12Who else could combine lime green and fire engine red
23:15and make it work?
23:17Well, I've always had an eye for colour, you know me.
23:20Derek?
23:21Hmm?
23:22Could I have a word, please?
23:23Of course you can, sweetheart.
23:24Of course.
23:30Before you say anything, Boise is not staying here.
23:33We've already got Gary, or whatever his name is,
23:35but at least he doesn't speak.
23:37Now, if you want to play Lawrence of Peckham,
23:39I'll suck to you.
23:40But Boise is not staying here.
23:42Look, darling, sweetheart, I feel...
23:45Well, I feel just a little bit guilty, you see.
23:48I was the one that made Boise's head smell like a shepherd's purse.
23:51I'm sorry.
23:52I'm sorry.
23:53I'm sorry.
23:54I'm sorry.
23:55I'm sorry.
23:56I'm sorry.
23:57I'm sorry.
23:58I'm sorry.
23:59I'm sorry.
24:00I'm sorry.
24:01I'm sorry.
24:02I'm sorry.
24:03I'm sorry.
24:04I'm sorry.
24:05I'm sorry.
24:06I'm sorry.
24:07I'm sorry.
24:08I'm sorry.
24:09I'm sorry.
24:10I'm sorry.
24:11I'm sorry.
24:12I'm sorry.
24:13I'm sorry.
24:14I'm sorry.
24:15I'm sorry.
24:16I'm sorry.
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24:19I'm sorry.
24:20I'm sorry.
24:21I'm sorry.
24:22I'm sorry.
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24:24I'm sorry.
24:25I'm sorry.
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24:27I'm sorry.
24:28I'm sorry.
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24:30I'm sorry.
24:31I'm sorry.
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24:33I'm sorry.
24:34I'm sorry.
24:35I'm sorry.
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24:40I'm sorry.
24:41I'm sorry.
24:42I'm sorry.
24:43I'm sorry.
24:44I'm sorry.
24:45I'm sorry.
24:46I'm sorry.
24:47I'm sorry.
24:48I'm sorry.
24:49I'm sorry.
24:50I'm sorry.
24:51I'm sorry.
24:52I'm sorry.
24:53I'm sorry.
24:54I'm sorry.
24:55I'm sorry.
24:56I'm sorry.
24:57I'm sorry.
24:58I'm sorry.
24:59I'm sorry.
25:00I'm sorry.
25:01I'm sorry.
25:02I'm sorry.
25:03I'm sorry.
25:04I'm sorry.
25:05I'm sorry.
25:06I'm sorry.
25:07I'm sorry.
25:08I'm sorry.
25:09I'm sorry.
25:10I'm sorry.
25:11I'm sorry.
25:12I'm sorry.
25:13I'm sorry.
25:14I'm sorry.
25:15I'm sorry.
25:16I'm sorry.
25:17I'm sorry.
25:18I'm sorry.
25:19I'm sorry.
25:20I'm sorry.
25:21I'm sorry.
25:22I'm sorry.
25:23I'm sorry.
25:25There's your plate of curry.
25:27Lovely.
25:28Lovely.
25:33Urgh.
25:36Urgh.
25:41You still awake, Gary?
25:45Gary.
25:48That curry's doing a conga in my colon.
25:55I only had one mouthful.
25:58You still hungry, Gary?
26:00Gary.
26:02I'll make us a sandwich.
26:05Urgh.
26:20Do sell-by dates mean nothing to the trotters?
26:24I've seen younger items on the Antiques Roadshow.
26:28Oh, it'll have to be cheese, Gary.
26:31Got it.
26:35Oh, do you want to pick a lily?
26:38What's the matter?
26:39You cold, son?
26:40Well, get back in the bed and warm yourself up.
26:42Go on.
26:43Go on.
26:44That's right.
26:45Get in the sofa now.
26:46That's right.
26:47Go get back in there.
26:48You're very nice and warm.
26:49That's right.
26:50Blimey, you are cold, aren't you?
26:56Right, I tell you what.
26:57Get the suitcase out of the table.
26:58You set it up.
26:59I'll set it up.
27:00I'll set it up.
27:01I'll set it up.
27:02Right, get the suitcase out of the table.
27:03You set it up and I'll do the speeling, right?
27:05Excuse me.
27:06Hello?
27:07I'm in charge now.
27:09All right.
27:10What do you want to do?
27:12Well, I'll get the suitcase out and you can do the speeling.
27:14That's a good idea.
27:25Hello, sweetheart.
27:27How are you?
27:28One night, you said.
27:29Yeah, I know, but what...
27:30Four bloody nights, Derek.
27:31Four nights I've had them sleeping in the living room.
27:33Yeah, all right, all right.
27:34I'll have words.
27:35Don't worry.
27:36And Boise keeps putting that rotten hair gel on
27:38and then having the audacity to complain about the smell.
27:42But I can't say anything to him, can I?
27:45Eh?
27:46Otherwise he will know that it was me what done it.
27:48Oh, there you are.
27:49I have good news.
27:50The gas board has just given us the all-clear
27:52to move back into the house.
27:54Thank you for being there when I needed you.
27:56That's all right, Boise.
27:58You'd do the same for us, wouldn't you?
28:01I suppose so.
28:03Oh, by the way, I'll get that smell sorted out if I were you.
28:07You know what?
28:08I reckon someone's dumped a kebab in your hot air duct.
28:11Oh, and do you know that contract I was telling you about?
28:14Oh, yeah.
28:15Well, I've got to go and sign it next Wednesday in Paris.
28:17Oh, good.
28:18And I want you to drive me there.
28:20Make the right impression.
28:22So go and hire us a nice vehicle.
28:25Hire a nice vehicle when you've got a showroom full of cars?
28:28Yes, but I want one that's going to get us there.
28:31It's only money, after all.
28:33You don't mind if I take your staff away, do you?
28:36No, not at all.
28:37In fact, I think I'll come with you for the ride.
28:39Yes, it'll be a good experience for you.
28:41Witnessing a man becoming a millionaire
28:43might rekindle a few memories.
28:47You are one flesh gear, aren't you?
28:51Hey, I've had an idea.
28:52Why don't we take Gary with us?
28:54We can drop him off on the continent.
28:55You stupid Rodney.
28:57If we get caught, we'll be the only people in history
28:59to get fined for trying to smuggle someone out of the country.
29:03You'll have to find him first.
29:04I saw him about an hour ago,
29:05hitchhiking round the Elephant and Castle.
29:08He's gone?
29:09Damien and his mates took him to play football this morning.
29:11The last time I saw him, he was in a Volkswagen camper van
29:15surrounded by a bunch of Australian backpackers.
29:18Oh, well, we did our best for him, didn't we?
29:21Yeah.
29:22I suppose you'll see a bit of the world now, won't you?
29:24I suppose you'll see a bit of the world now, won't you?
29:29Can you smell onions?
29:41There you are, darling.
29:42I told you I'd get it sorted.
29:43Yeah, well done, Dale.
29:44I'll see you back home.
29:45Our nice, uncrowded home.
29:47OK.
29:49Come on then, boss.
29:50Let's get selling.
29:55It's a van.
29:56Yeah, I saw their head.
29:57Yeah, they were right out of saloons.
29:59Yeah, get inside, it's nice and comfy.
30:01I don't believe this is happening to me.
30:03This is the most important meeting in my life
30:05and I'm going in a van.
30:08Oh, shut up.
30:09Get in, stop moaning.
30:14Let's understand one thing, Derek.
30:16We are not stopping at anything.
30:17We are not stopping at anything.
30:19We are not stopping at anything.
30:21We are not stopping at anything.
30:23We are not stopping at any warehouses to load up with beer.
30:26Nothing was further from my thought.
30:29Police in Kent have found the missing billionaire's son,
30:32Rashid Mamoon.
30:35Mr Mamoon was kidnapped over a week ago
30:37whilst working at his father's wine warehouse in Sherbrooke.
30:41I was loading in the back of a truck
30:43when the kidnappers trapped me.
30:49I was taken to an apartment.
30:50I have no idea where it was.
30:52I was held there for four days and nights
30:55by two men and two women.
30:57I don't know what language they spoke.
31:00She had English.
31:01Sometimes I detected the occasional word of English.
31:05They brought a big man in to guard me at night.
31:07He carried a large knife
31:09and his hair smelled of...
31:12Beards.
31:13Onions.
31:15Interpol has launched a Europe-wide search
31:17for the criminals behind the kidnap.
31:19The only information they have so far
31:21is that the organisation which they're calling
31:23the Gary Gang may have South London connections.
31:36Interpol has launched a Europe-wide search
31:38for the criminals behind the kidnappers.
31:47Gentlemen.
31:52Mr Boyce, this is Mr Mahmood.
32:00Delighted.
32:02Please.
32:04Please sit down.
32:17Mr Sherman says he has always admired the British.
32:21His grandmother met an English sailor during the war.
32:45You are happy with the contract, Mr Boyce?
32:48Oh, oui. Extremely.
32:51Then we will sign.
32:55Mr Boyce, this is Mr Mahmood's son, Hashid.
33:03Gary!
33:06How are you?
33:21Have a seat, Gary.
33:22Have a seat, Gary.
33:23Have a seat, Gary.
33:27Good pen?