Оnlу Fооls & Ноrsеs S03 Е05 - May the Force Be with You
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00:00It's all right. I said to her, I said, Bernice, I said.
00:07Yeah, what, that her name, is it?
00:09Bernice. Yeah, Trigg, that's why I called her Bernice, you know.
00:12Right.
00:13I said, don't play with me, girl, cos you are playing with fire.
00:16I said, don't you dare try and tie me down.
00:19She's into all that, is she?
00:21No, Trigg, I meant in a, you know, spiritual sort of way.
00:25I mean, she's not, no.
00:27See, cos I'm a free agent, Trigg, right?
00:29Wherever I lay my hat, right, that's my home.
00:31That's the sort of guy I am.
00:33Yeah.
00:34You've got a hat now, then, have you, darling?
00:39No, no, Trigg, it's a saying, you know.
00:41Anyway...
00:42I had a hat once.
00:43Yeah?
00:44So, I could see she was upset, you know.
00:46Someone nicked it at a party.
00:48Really?
00:49Yeah, well, she was crying, begging me not to leave her.
00:52And my return ticket in a brim.
00:54Yeah?
00:55I had to walk all the way home from Plumstead.
00:59I'm going to phone Dale, see if he can come down for the time being.
01:02What colour was your hat, Dave?
01:04Pink.
01:05Same here.
01:08Oh, sorry.
01:10You will be if it happens again, sonny.
01:14Trigger!
01:16Oh.
01:17Er...
01:18What's your hurry?
01:20Long time, eh?
01:22What brings you round this way?
01:24I thought you were stationed in West London.
01:26I missed you all, didn't I?
01:28Got myself transferred back to the old parish.
01:30And it's not Roy anymore.
01:32You can call me Mr Slater.
01:35Detective Inspector Slater.
01:37Or just plain Sir.
01:39Mine's a large scotch.
01:40Oh, right.
01:41Large scotch, love.
01:43Know anything about a microwave oven?
01:45No, I'm no good with electrics and that.
01:47No, I ain't asking you to mend a bleeding thing.
01:49I'm talking about a stolen microwave oven.
01:53Someone lifted one off the back of a lorry
01:55in Lewisham Grove earlier on.
01:57Yeah?
01:58Some people.
01:59Yeah, some people.
02:01So, what are you up to these days, Trigger?
02:04Still doing a double act with Monkey Harris?
02:06No, I ain't seen Monkey for ages.
02:08What about Boyse?
02:09I don't know.
02:10I ain't seen him for years.
02:11Really?
02:12How about my favourite man?
02:14How's good old Del Boy keeping?
02:16I haven't a clue.
02:17I ain't seen him for a long time.
02:18You ain't seen much of anything lately, have you?
02:20You ought to eat more carrots, Trigger.
02:24Well, upon my soul.
02:26It's Boyse.
02:29Hello, Roy.
02:30What a nice surprise.
02:32Yeah, what a coincidence as well.
02:36Eh?
02:37You two should just happen to be drinking in the same pub.
02:40I mean, how long is it since you last saw Trigger?
02:43Oh, er...
02:44Must be, er...
02:45At least, er...
02:47Two months.
02:48Trigger said years.
02:49Oh, yeah, no, you can't imagine.
02:50Must be two years.
02:51Time does fly, doesn't it?
02:53Certainly does.
02:55Seems like only yesterday I was pounding the beat around here.
02:59They were the good old days, weren't they, eh?
03:04Terrific.
03:07Great.
03:08How's Marlene these days?
03:10Oh, you know, still the same.
03:12Is she?
03:13Dear, dear, dear.
03:16I heard that you're dabbling in the video game.
03:20Oh, yes, er...
03:21Just a sideline, you know.
03:23I heard a whisper that you're flogging pirate tapes.
03:27Yeah.
03:28Treasure Island, mutiny on about.
03:34I'm surprised to hear Delboy's still at the same place.
03:37Yeah, still there.
03:38Oh, he's, er...
03:39Thinking of moving.
03:41Emigrating, actually.
03:42Emigrating?
03:44Yes, I bet these developing nations are crying out for fly pictures.
03:50Well, I must be off.
03:52So soon?
03:53After all these years, I thought you two would have a lot to talk about.
03:56Yeah, well, er...
03:57We do, but I have just seen a business acquaintance of mine.
04:01Hello, Rodney.
04:02Well, see you, Roy.
04:04See you, boys.
04:05Give my love to Marlene.
04:08Everyone else used to.
04:11Rodney.
04:12Weren't Del's kid brother called Rodney?
04:14Oh, I don't know, Mr Slater.
04:16No, you're deaf, dumb and blind these days, ain't you?
04:19I bet you're a wizard on a pinball machine.
04:21Oh, no, Rodney.
04:23Nice to see you again.
04:25Boy, see, I was talking with you last night.
04:28Oh, hello, were you?
04:29Oh, yeah, of course you were.
04:30Memory must be slipping, pal.
04:33Take care of yourself.
04:34See you around.
04:35Yeah, see you, boys.
04:38Don't tell me!
04:39You're Del Boy's brother, Rodney, am I right?
04:41Yeah.
04:42I was at school with Del.
04:44Sat next to him in class.
04:45Haven't seen you since you was a little nipper.
04:47Really?
04:48What's your name?
04:49Roy.
04:50Roy Slater.
04:51Roy Slater.
04:52No, no, I can't recall him mentioning it.
04:54Perhaps he called you by a nickname.
04:56Yeah, yeah.
04:57Knowing Del, that's about it.
04:59Well, I'm away now, Mr Slater.
05:03Well, well, well.
05:08What is up with everyone today?
05:10Been at the booze, haven't they?
05:12So, fancy bumping into you.
05:15Shame Del Boy couldn't have made it.
05:17Well, do you know,
05:18I just this minute came off the phone to him.
05:20He was coming down for a swift one,
05:21but he got involved with a bit of business.
05:23Something to do with a microwave oven or something.
05:25Business?
05:26Yeah, business.
05:27Yeah.
05:28Yeah.
05:29Yeah.
05:30Yeah.
05:31Microwave oven or something.
05:32Is that right?
05:34Oh.
05:35I'd love to have met him again.
05:37It would have been a real surprise for him.
05:39Well, I tell you what,
05:40why don't you come back to the flat and have a beer?
05:42Could I?
05:43Oh, that would be smashing.
05:45Yeah, yeah.
05:46I'll go and give him a bell.
05:47No!
05:48It'd spoil the surprise.
05:49Oh, yeah.
05:50Hey, I can't wait to see his face
05:52when you come through the door, eh?
05:55It'll be a picture, Rodney.
05:57It'll be a picture.
06:02I mean, I don't ask much of you, do I?
06:04But even when I asked you to do the simplest things,
06:06you let me down.
06:07Oh, shut up.
06:09She won't want to know me now, will she?
06:11Not after last night.
06:12I ain't bothered.
06:13Invited her all the way over from Canning Town
06:15for a nice, quiet, intimate, candlelit dinner,
06:18and all I asked you to do
06:20was to put the box of wine in the fridge
06:22and me tub of Neapolitan ice cream in the freezer.
06:24But no, you get that arse about face, don't you?
06:27So come nine o'clock,
06:28all I could offer her was a beer.
06:30Nine o'clock, all I could offer her was a bowl of guns
06:32and a Beaujolais ice lolly.
06:36The entire evening it did.
06:38What are you doing?
06:39I'm trying to get the Dukes of Hazzard.
06:45The Dukes of Hazzard.
06:47This is a microwave oven, you dozy old twonk.
06:51Well, then you'll be putting frozen pizzas
06:53into the portable next.
06:55Come out of the way, will you?
06:57You're lucky you didn't barbecue yourself.
06:59Just leave it alone.
07:01Oi, Del.
07:02Yeah?
07:03Guess who I met down the pub, then?
07:05Whoever she is, don't invite her back here for dinner.
07:07Huh? No.
07:08It's one of your old schoolmates.
07:10Hello, Del boy.
07:12Long time, eh?
07:15Slater.
07:18In all me glory.
07:20I told you you'd be surprised, didn't I?
07:22Yeah.
07:23Is this your grandad?
07:25No, that's the au pair, innit?
07:28What's your grandad?
07:29You wouldn't remember me.
07:31Roy Slater.
07:33I used to be in Del's class at school.
07:35Well, well, that's a turn-up for the book, innit, Del boy?
07:38Yeah, innit, just?
07:40Rodney, get Roy one of them lagers in the fridge.
07:43Yeah, right.
07:44Yeah, well, I'll just, er...
07:46Yeah, I'll just give Rodney a hand.
07:48You carry on there.
07:51Bloody hell, are you trying to do to me?
07:53How do you know who that is?
07:55Yeah, he said he was an old mate.
07:56He's not an old mate, he's an old Bill.
07:57And when I say an old Bill, I mean an old Bill.
08:00That geezer out there would nick you for anything that you did.
08:02In fact, he'd nick you for anything you didn't do.
08:04And he wouldn't let a silly thing like innocence get in the way.
08:07I didn't have a clue, Del, I swear.
08:09You wally.
08:12I've got to play this nice and cagey.
08:15Now, listen, you've got to be careful what you say to him
08:18because that fella in there, he collects informers
08:20the way other people collect stamps.
08:22He's got a few grasses, has he?
08:23No, he ain't got a few grasses, Rodney.
08:24He's got an entire lawn.
08:27Now, you go back in there, only speak when you're spoken to
08:30and then keep it down to a simple yes or no.
08:32Think before you blink.
08:33And if God's smiling on us, we might get away with it, all right?
08:36Get them beers.
08:37Does it cook as quickly as they claim?
08:39No, I don't know so much about that, sir.
08:42We haven't used it yet.
08:44No? That's strange.
08:48Feels hot.
08:49Yeah, yeah, well, come and cool your fingers down on this,
08:52oh, Roy, my boy.
08:53There you go.
08:54Here.
08:55How's the police force treating you?
08:57Police?
08:58Not too bad.
08:59I got promoted a while back.
09:01I'm detective inspector now.
09:03Oh, congratulations.
09:04A few years from now, you could be advertising tyres.
09:09How's the family?
09:11I don't see much of them these days, Dallan.
09:14The old man's still not talking to me.
09:16No, well, he's probably still got the needle
09:18over that time you nicked him.
09:20He nicked his own father.
09:22I had no choice.
09:23If there'd been a way of avoiding it, I would have.
09:26But his rear light was defective.
09:31I mean, what else could I do?
09:33It's true.
09:34You'd only borrowed the bike to go down to Fishop and all.
09:38That's right.
09:40It was just a twist of fate.
09:42But you've got to understand that at the time I was young and keen.
09:46Now that I'm older and more experienced,
09:49I regret doing it.
09:50Leave it out, Slater.
09:52You've never regretted a nick in your life.
09:54Oh, now, that's not fair, Del.
09:56You're judging me by the Roy Slater that you used to know.
10:01But I've changed in lots of ways.
10:04Things that were important to me in the past
10:07mean nothing now.
10:10I used to be enthusiastic, career-minded,
10:12but what have you got at the end of the day?
10:15You've won your stripes
10:17and lost your friends.
10:19Ah, come on, Roy.
10:21You didn't lose your friends.
10:23No?
10:24No, you didn't have any to lose in the first place.
10:29Yeah.
10:30I suppose you're right.
10:33Del?
10:34Maybe one evening,
10:36if you're not too busy, we could have a couple of beers together.
10:40Yeah, well,
10:41see how it goes, shall we?
10:44Yeah, all right.
10:46Thanks for the drink.
10:49It's nice seeing you all again.
10:52I'll see myself out.
10:56Oh, by the way, you're all under arrest.
11:01Yes, sir.
11:03Oh, yes, well, thank you very much, sir.
11:05Very nice of you to say so.
11:07Well, I can only have them for receiving, sir,
11:10but one of them's an old mate
11:12and I get the feeling that if I treat him nicely enough,
11:15he might be persuaded to volunteer the name of the real thief.
11:20Oh, yes, sir, you know me, sir.
11:22I play everything by the book, sir.
11:26Well, there's three of them, actually, sir.
11:29Yes, I arrested them single-handed.
11:33Well, I don't think of the danger, sir.
11:35I simply see it as my duty.
11:39Well, I'll get back to you, sir,
11:41as soon as I've got some information.
11:43OK, sir. Thank you very much, sir.
11:46Thank you once again, sir.
11:49OK, sir.
11:50Bye for now, sir. Bye.
11:55Do you know who that was?
11:57The wife.
12:01That was the assistant commissioner.
12:04You want to be a bit more careful about your elf son.
12:07In the last half hour, you've done so much bootlicking
12:10you could be going down with cherry blossom poison.
12:15Have you informed them of their rights, constable?
12:17Oh, yes, sir.
12:19Yeah, and I demand the right to phone my solicitor.
12:21Sit down and behave yourself.
12:23I'm saying nothing till I phone my solicitor.
12:25Go on, then, phone your solicitor.
12:27I haven't got a solicitor.
12:29Don't waste my bloody time, then.
12:31Just calm down, will you? Just calm down.
12:35Now, listen, Slater, I think I've found a way
12:37in which we can clear this mess up.
12:39What, you tell me the name of the person who nicked the microwave?
12:42No.
12:43I give you 50 quid and you let us go.
12:47I didn't hear that, Del.
12:50I said I give you 50 quid.
12:54Did you hear that, Hoskins?
12:55Oh, yes, sir. Loud and clear.
12:58Oh, you really are a star, Del Boy.
13:01You really are a star.
13:03You are now down for receiving stolen goods
13:06and attempting to bribe a police officer.
13:08You never complained about it before.
13:10Did you hear that, Hoskins?
13:12Sorry, sir. Miles away.
13:14Right.
13:17Who are Finch the Microwave?
13:19Was it Trigger?
13:21Come along, gentlemen. I want a name.
13:23We found it, didn't we, Rodney?
13:26Yeah, yeah, down the market.
13:28This bloke sort of dropped it.
13:31Oh, he dropped it, did he?
13:33Didn't you call after him?
13:36Well, yeah, but he was a bit mutton, weren't he?
13:39Oh, I see.
13:42Well, that explains it.
13:44I just wish you'd told me earlier
13:46and it'd saved us all this trouble.
13:49It's easily done, Constable.
13:51You're walking along the street, your mind on other things,
13:54you take your handkerchief out of your pocket,
13:56bang, your microwave falls on you.
13:59Take these two down the corridor and put them in separate rooms.
14:02I'll be along later to get their descriptions of this stone-deaf villain.
14:06And, oi, no conferring.
14:09Splitting starts at ten now.
14:19I see Boyce is selling pirate videos now.
14:22Yeah. Is he?
14:25Which number Kings Avenue does he live?
14:27I don't know, but you can't miss his house.
14:29It's the one with the Jolly Roger frying from the chimney.
14:34Oh.
14:36That takes me back, Del Boy.
14:39Do you remember when we was kids,
14:41used to go over the ponds to play at Pirates?
14:44You were Dan Tempest.
14:46Trigger was Long John Silver.
14:50And what character did I play, Del?
14:53You played the bloke what walked the plank.
14:56Oh, yeah.
14:57The bloke that walked the plank.
14:59I was always the bloke that walked the plank, wasn't I?
15:03I must have been in and out of that pond more times than a duck's head.
15:08I always wanted to be Bluebeard.
15:11You should have said so.
15:12I did say, but you'd never let me.
15:14I did. Once.
15:16Oh, yeah, I remember.
15:17That was the day Bluebeard had to walk the plank, wasn't it?
15:21I tried to be friendly, Slater,
15:23but you were such a schneid there was no helping you.
15:26You tried to be friendly? Like when?
15:28Like when... Well, do you remember that time
15:30when all the boys dragged you to the ground
15:32and Fatty Walker sat on your face
15:34and Trigger put all that itching powder on your belly button?
15:37Vaguely.
15:38Yeah?
15:39Well, I was the one that made them stop at your belly button.
15:42They were all for having your braces off.
15:44And how did you repay my act of kindness?
15:47And how did you repay my act of kindness?
15:49You caught me behind the bike shed with some bird
15:51and you went and told the headmaster.
15:53It was my sister.
15:54So you always let personal feelings creep into it, didn't you?
15:57Right, down to business.
15:59The face who dropped a microwave oven in the market,
16:02what did he look like?
16:03Oh, he's about average height.
16:05He was a great big tall fella.
16:08Oh, he was little more than a twelfth.
16:11Age?
16:12About 25.
16:14Middle fifties.
16:17I was just a kid.
16:19What about his ethnic group?
16:22I didn't notice anyone with him.
16:26No, I mean, was he Caucasian?
16:28Oh, no, he was a white fella.
16:31He was African, I think.
16:40Is he allowed to keep us here this long?
16:42No.
16:43Does that mean we can go then?
16:44No.
16:46Terrific.
16:47Well, you shouldn't get yourself involved with hooky gear, should you?
16:50No, you're absolutely right, young Terry.
16:54How's that gas fire I sold your mum?
16:56All right, is it?
16:57Oh, er, yeah.
16:58Cheers, Dale.
16:59Look, why don't you do yourself a favour
17:01and give him the name of the bloke?
17:03He'll get it out of you in the end.
17:05He always does.
17:07Slater's a nasty piece of work.
17:09The only people that hate him more than the villains
17:11is us cobbers.
17:14Supposing I gave him the bloke's name,
17:17what would happen to him?
17:19Yeah, look, see that filing cabinet over there?
17:23That is full to the top with unsolved crimes.
17:26Slater would lay the whole lot on the bloke.
17:28So after only two weeks at the station,
17:30he'll have doubled the conviction rate.
17:32The public are reassured, Slater gets his promotion,
17:36and the commander takes another step closer to his CBE.
17:39And everybody's happy.
17:41Yeah, all except the poor sod who's gone down the kermit.
17:44No, I'm not going to tell him nothing.
17:46Well, watch out for him, Dale.
17:48He's got no scruples.
17:49He'll try anything.
17:52All right, Hoskins, go and have your supper break now.
17:54Oh, thank you very much, sir.
17:56Shame the canteen's just closed, isn't it?
18:02Sorry, Dale, did you want a cup of tea?
18:04No, it's all right, Slater, I had one yesterday.
18:12Sorry, Dale boy, I'm just reading these descriptions
18:15of the phantom of the market.
18:17Oh, it's good, Dale, it's good.
18:20According to you and your family,
18:22we are looking for a six-foot, seven-inch dwarf...
18:27..aged between 15 and 50...
18:30..a white male with oriental features...
18:33..who's as black as Newgate's knocker.
18:36Oh, yeah, he wears a deaf-aid.
18:39Not a lot to go on, Inspector.
18:43I'll have to take this lot into court.
18:45I could have you for perjury as well.
18:48I just found this in our records department.
18:50I hope it's Barry Manilow.
18:54No, it's not Barry Manilow, Dale.
18:57It says here, criminal file number 94628-A76,
19:02name Trotter, Rodney.
19:06Now, listen, Slater... Roy.
19:08Now, just... Yeah, no, come on.
19:11Let's leave Rodney out of this, eh?
19:13He was a right little scallywag at that art school, weren't he?
19:17Getting caught in some tarts room puffing a Moroccan wood by him.
19:21Now, listen, he was innocent.
19:23Well, not according to this, he weren't.
19:25He only went down to her room to borrow some charcoal.
19:29Whatever he was smoking, when the police burst in,
19:32it weren't charcoal, Dale.
19:35Now, I wonder what would happen if, horror of horrors,
19:39I was to discover an illegal substance in one of Rodney's pockets.
19:45Now, leave it out, Slater.
19:47You know Rodney's got nothing in his pockets.
19:49It's soon remedied.
19:51I see. And what are you going to stitch Grandad up with, eh?
19:53Found in possession of a forged bus pass?
19:57Demanding protection money from the local Derby and Joan club?
20:01No. I'll see that Grandad's kept out of this.
20:04And while you and Rodney are away sewing mail bags,
20:07Grandad'll be back on the estate.
20:10Alone.
20:13And just what is that supposed to mean?
20:15Dangerous places, them estates, Dale.
20:18I do hope Grandad doesn't fall victim to the mindless filth that walks our streets.
20:23I thought you drove everywhere nowadays.
20:26Listen to me, Slater.
20:27I know a lot of coppers and they're all good blokes.
20:30I mean, I don't like them, but they play a fair game.
20:32And then there's you.
20:34You dirty, stinking...
20:36Steady, Dale.
20:37I don't want to have to add abusive language to your ever-growing list of offences.
20:41I might not have room on the charge sheet.
20:44You and young Rodney are going down for at least a year apiece
20:48unless you give me the name of the mush who nicked the microwave.
20:52Leave it out, Slater. You know I can't do that.
20:54It's against my principles.
20:55My mum would turn in her grave if she knew I'd become a copper's narc.
20:58Well, you're going to have a lot of time to think about your principles.
21:00I hope the porridge ain't too lumpy.
21:02I'll get the charge sheets typed up.
21:07Now, just a minute, Roy.
21:09Now, let's not be hasty.
21:12I think we can make a deal.
21:14I don't like deals.
21:15You're going to like this one.
21:18If I give you the name of the bloke that stole that oven,
21:21you let Rodney and Grandad go.
21:23No charges.
21:26Yeah, all right. I'll let them go.
21:28And you'll also drop all charges against me.
21:31Oh, come on, Del. I'm looking forward to that.
21:35You don't seem to understand what I'm saying, Slater.
21:38Once I give you the bloke's name,
21:41I'll be one of your grasses.
21:46Oh, Del.
21:49Del boy.
21:52That is beautiful.
21:54You would be one of my merry men.
21:57I'd have you in my pocket.
21:59I could bounce you about and make you dance whenever I felt bored.
22:03And if you ever stepped out of line,
22:05I'd let it be known on the streets that you're an informer.
22:10Yeah, I know.
22:12The deal's on, my old oppo.
22:13I'll drop the charges against you.
22:15You have my word.
22:16Your word?
22:17Your word means about as much to me as the guarantee on that hooky microwave.
22:21No, I want immunity from prosecution.
22:23And I want it in writing and I want it signed, sealed and delivered.
22:27I'll get it arranged right away, Derek.
22:30Oh, we're going to have a good future together, you and me.
22:33I can feel it.
22:35What's up, Del?
22:37Cursing the day you crossed me?
22:40No.
22:41I'm cursing the day I made them stop at your belly button.
22:54Yeah.
23:03Why's he keeping Del Boy in there?
23:07That's about the 38th time you've asked me that in the last half hour.
23:11And for the 38th time, Grandad, I'm telling you, I don't know.
23:15Well, I thought you'd just charge Del with receiving.
23:18He'd get a £50 fine and then he'd all be forgot about.
23:22Yeah, that's what I thought.
23:25So did I.
23:28So why's he keeping him in there?
23:31Oh, bless my heart, but I don't bloody know, Grandad.
23:35Oh, Rodney.
23:37Look, I thought I told you two you were free to go.
23:40Oh, we thought we'd hang on a while.
23:42Yeah, it's good here, isn't it?
23:47Still here?
23:48We're waiting for Del.
23:49Will he be long, son?
23:51Only as long as it takes him to tell me who nicked the microwave.
23:54Better get our heads down till the morning, then.
23:56I don't know. Del's seen the light. He's decided to cooperate.
24:00Now you're pulling our legs.
24:03Do you reckon? Why don't you come in and see for yourselves? Come on.
24:06All right, Hoskins, away you go. The canteen's open now.
24:09Oh, thank you very much, sir.
24:11There you are, Del Boy.
24:12Your immunity from prosecution, signed by the superintendent himself.
24:17What are you playing at, Del?
24:19What are they doing here?
24:21Oh, I thought it'd be interesting for them to see you in your real light.
24:25The great Del Boy.
24:27The man who could talk his way out of a room with no doors.
24:30Reduced to this, grassing.
24:35I've got to tell him, Rodney.
24:37He's cut me all ends up.
24:39I've got no choice.
24:41But you don't know his name, Del.
24:43He was just a bloke in the market.
24:45Leave it out, Grandad.
24:46Leave it out, Grandad.
24:48If Mr Slater was to believe our descriptions,
24:51he'd have his men searching for someone who's a cross between Tom Thumb and the Jolly Green Giant.
24:56Or with a death aid.
24:59Death aid.
25:01Rodney, I wasn't doing it just for myself.
25:04He threatened to plant something on you and set you up for a bit of bird.
25:08That is against the law.
25:10Phone the police.
25:13I'm telling, Del.
25:14Don't tell him, Del.
25:16I've got to, Rodney.
25:18Otherwise it'll mean you and me go down a road and Grandad's going to be left alone on the estate, see?
25:25I've got no choice.
25:28I've got no choice.
25:31Right, Mr Slater, let's get down to business.
25:33Oh, Del.
25:35Del Boy, those words are music to my ears.
25:40I will cherish this moment.
25:42Right, O'Dell.
25:44Who nicked it?
25:47They are free to go, aren't they?
25:49Yeah, they're free to go. No charges. They can leave whenever they like.
25:52Okay, give me his name.
25:54You've got nothing on me, either.
25:56No, you've got an immunity from prosecution. You've got less chance of a pool than the Queen.
26:00As long as I'm known.
26:02Right, for the third and last time of asking,
26:05who nicked the microwave off the back of the lorry?
26:11I did.