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00:00You see, I mean, to me, Janice, art, you know, art as an art, right, must by its very nature
00:15be self-indulgent, right? I mean, as I said to David Hockney once, the inherent element
00:21in all artistic projects should not be one of contemporary mass appeal, but rather one
00:26of personal symbolism. Don't you agree, Janice? I don't know, Rodney. Oh, well, you know,
00:34that's why I like talking to you, you know. You're one of the few people who seems to
00:39understand me. My father donned paints, you know. Really? Yeah, for the council. Oh, no,
00:47that is cosmic, Janice. No, really. No, that is cosmic. That's probably why we have the
00:51same appreciation and understanding of true art. I mean, we have an affinity, an aesthetic
00:57bond. We are kindred spirits, Janice. Seekers of beauty in a broken, ugly world. Janice?
01:05Yes, Rodney? Get your bra off. I can't. Well, of course you can. You must live and be free.
01:14I can't, Rodney. I'm not wearing one. Oh. Well. Oh, yeah.
01:31Not dark in here, is he? Oh, put him down, Janice. Put him down. You don't know where he's been.
01:38Oh, well, what have we got going on here? Oh, I'll have a drop of that. Thanks.
01:42Yeah, look, we don't want all this rubbish on, do we, eh? That's better.
01:46Hey, Janice, you mind his bruises, won't you? What bruises? His bruises. He's covered in them.
01:50It's where the girls keep on pushing him away with ten-foot barge poles.
01:54Oh, dear, oh, dear. That's better. You're in, are you, Dale? Yes, yes, I'm in, Rodders.
02:02Hope you've been behaving yourself. You know, remember what I told you, not to do it on your own doorstep.
02:07I've just been sitting here discussing art, that's all. Do you like art, Dale?
02:11Oh, yeah. Dale used to be cultural advisor to the Chelsea Shed.
02:14Yeah, I like art, Janice. I like art, you know. I'm a Renaissance man myself.
02:18You know, I like them pictures where the eyes follow you around the room.
02:21Last week, down the Pie and Ale shop, Dale shook the international art world to its very foundations
02:27by stating, quite openly, that Michelangelo was a wally brain.
02:32Well, he was a wally brain, wasn't he? Took him 12 years to paint one ceiling.
02:36God, that wouldn't do your brother Donald any good, would it, Janice, eh?
02:39Well, he's on bonus. I do not believe this. I'm going to wake up in a minute.
02:45Here, look, I'll tell you another thing while we're about it. And, oh, you know,
02:47some of those artists, you know, they're a bit sick, if you ask me.
02:50What are you on about now? Well, look, take a look at this, right?
02:53Now, this is a statuette of the world-famous Venus the Milo, right?
02:58Now, who but the sick of mind would do a sculpture of a disabled person?
03:04Am I right, Janice? It's a bit sick, isn't it?
03:07Yeah, you are. You weren't like that originally.
03:09No, no, no. This is the product of a twisted imagination, this, Rodney.
03:13Yeah. Yeah, talking of twisted imaginations, are you still looking for a job?
03:16What, in this country? He's three million unemployed.
03:19What chance has Rodney got? Oh, with his big brother looking after him,
03:22he's got every chance in the world. Now, take one of your purple hearts, Rodney,
03:25because I've got a surprise coming for you. I have managed to secure for you
03:29a position with a newly formed security company.
03:31Now, they did want a man with previous experience,
03:34and as your last job was a milk monitor, I did have a bit of trouble persuading them.
03:38But, however, I have managed to swing it for you.
03:42Are you putting me on, Dale? No, definitely.
03:44I've got a job for you, Rodney. Hey, that's great, Dale.
03:47Yeah, it's all right. You'll start off as a trainee NSO.
03:51No. Oh, yes.
03:52Who knows, my son? You know, use your old filbert, keep your nose clean.
03:55A couple of years time, you could end up as a, well, I don't know, a senior NSO.
03:59Oh, I will, Dale. I won't let you down, son.
04:02What's an NSO? Oh, don't be a ghost, Janice.
04:07What's an NSO?
04:08They don't know they're born, some of them, do they?
04:10That's right. Tell him what an NSO is, Dale.
04:16NSO, Janice, is a nocturnal security officer.
04:20Yeah, you see, it's a nocturnal security officer.
04:22Don't I sound like a night watchman?
04:25It's nothing like a night watchman.
04:27I mean, yeah, yeah, you will have to work at night.
04:30And will some of my duties include watching?
04:33No, they won't, no. I mean, all you'll have to do is you just have to, you know,
04:36you'll, you just have to, you...
04:40You'll have to keep an eye out, don't you?
04:42What is the name of this recently formed security company, then?
04:45Ah, well, you wouldn't have heard of them.
04:47Try me, Dale. Come on, let's have it.
04:51It's called Trotter Watch.
04:55Trotter Watch? That's you, isn't it? I'm working for you, aren't I?
04:58You see, the way I see it, Rodney, is that crime is a growth industry,
05:02so I'm getting in while the going is good.
05:04It's a nice regular job, it's got a uniform, good wages.
05:08How good?
05:08We'll talk about that later.
05:09First of all, let us try on your uniform, eh?
05:13There, come on, slip into it.
05:15There it is. Oh, look at that.
05:17Colour suits you, doesn't it, eh?
05:18Ahem, yes.
05:21Look at that fit.
05:22Oh, yeah, deja vu.
05:24It's like it's made to measure, isn't it?
05:26Yeah, for someone else.
05:29Yeah, oh, well, sleeves and that.
05:30Well, you'll grow into them, don't worry about that.
05:32Here, let's have a look.
05:32That's it.
05:33CW.
05:34That's right, Trotter Watch.
05:37It could also stand for Traffic Warden, though.
05:40Oh, yeah, because it could, yeah, Traffic Warden, yeah, yeah.
05:42This is a Traffic Warden's uniform, isn't it?
05:44It is not a Traffic Warden's uniform.
05:46You've got me done up as a bloody Traffic Warden.
05:48Oh, God, look, it is, once and for all,
05:50it is not a Traffic Warden's uniform.
05:52Now, just trust me, will you?
05:54Put your cap on.
05:59I look like a Traffic Warden.
06:00I look like a Traffic Warden who ain't been well.
06:04Ooh, don't you look...
06:05You look stunning, Rodders.
06:07Oh, yeah, look at that.
06:08You're admitting authority all over the place.
06:11I'm not doing it, Dale.
06:12I don't want a job.
06:13Oh, now, come on, Rodney, you've got to do it.
06:14You can't let me down.
06:15I gave them your word.
06:16Give who my word?
06:17Oh, the people down at the Tyler Street bus and coach garage.
06:19That's where you're going to be based.
06:20No, I'm definitely not doing it, Dale.
06:22Oh, you're not?
06:23Yeah, OK.
06:24Well, of course, if you're scared, you could admit it.
06:28Come on.
06:32Janice will understand if your bottler's gone.
06:36No, he's scared.
06:38Must be joking.
06:39Ah, that's the spirit.
06:41Now, I want you down there nine o'clock tomorrow night.
06:43I am a stickler for punctuality.
06:46Now, then, I'm going to bed.
06:48Oh, yeah, by the way, excuse me a minute, Janice.
06:50Sorry, Janice.
06:51Your bondage rope's there in the garage, all right?
06:54And the granddaddy's washed your whip
06:56and he's put it in the airing cupboard.
06:58I don't think it's shrunk.
07:00Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone
07:02and I shall just say a Buenos Aires.
07:08Janice!
07:09Janice, he was only...
07:13You rotten git, Dale!
07:16Well, I'll leave it all in your capable hands then, Rodgers.
07:23Yeah, cheers, Dale.
07:25You realise this job's going to mess up my love life, don't you?
07:27Right, why?
07:28Giving you every second Sunday off, haven't I?
07:30Yeah, but Janice is only going to be happy with that, is she?
07:33I mean, while I'm down here at night,
07:34she could be going out with someone else.
07:36Now, look, don't worry about that.
07:38What do you think I'm all dressed up for like this, eh?
07:42Taking Janice out for a meal.
07:43You're taking Janice out?
07:45Course I am.
07:46For your sake.
07:47Otherwise, you might be going out with somebody else.
07:49Yeah.
07:52Yeah.
07:54Cheers, Dale.
07:57Why are you wearing plimsolls?
07:59What?
08:00I said, why are you wearing plimsolls?
08:04Don't you think they mar the overall symmetry of the uniform somewhat?
08:07Yeah, I can run faster in these.
08:10Yeah, I mean, give chase, you know?
08:12Pursue, entertain, sort of.
08:14Nothing happens around here.
08:17Quiet as a grave.
08:20Well, I'll see you in the morning then, Rodders.
08:22Take care now.
08:25Yeah.
08:27Don't worry about me, Dale.
08:28I'll be all right.
09:13Ah, there you are, Granddad.
09:23There you go.
09:23Ah, look at that.
09:24Look at that.
09:25It's beautiful, isn't it, eh?
09:26Beautiful.
09:27Ah, it's going to earn our fortunes, this is, Granddad.
09:29Come on, Rodney.
09:30It's ten to nine.
09:32I used to be a security officer, you know, before the war.
09:36Blimey, do you mean to say that somebody actually trusted you with their property?
09:39It's like trusting a piranha fish with your finger.
09:44Or worse.
09:47Oh, yeah.
09:48It was a big warehouse over Kilburn Way.
09:51Stopped everything from bedroom suites to kiddies' toys.
09:55Well, there was this fellow used to work there.
09:58Used to arrive every morning in a big woozy car.
10:01He wore a camel's hair overcoat, kid gloves,
10:05and he always carried a brand new leather attache case,
10:09and he smoked expensive cigars.
10:12Well, call it intuition if you like, but I was suspicious of him.
10:19Oh, yeah? Why?
10:20Well, we were only a sweeper up.
10:24Oh, how do you do it, Holmes?
10:29Anyhow, one night as he was leaving, I stopped him
10:33and I searched his attache case.
10:36It were empty.
10:37Still, unperturbed by this minor hiccup in my investigation,
10:43I stopped him and searched his attache case every night for an whole year.
10:48Then he left.
10:50I wonder why.
10:52I don't remember.
10:54I think he claimed someone was victimising him.
10:58No unions in them days, see?
11:01Ah, well, this is it, ain't it?
11:03Yeah.
11:04Anyway, a couple of weeks after he left, the auditors come.
11:08You know what they discovered?
11:09No.
11:10We was missing 348 attache cases.
11:16What, you mean you'd been searching the stolen gear?
11:19Yeah, and I'd got done for it.
11:23Fingerprints.
11:25There's a moral to this story, Dill Boy,
11:28but for the life of me, I can't find it.
11:31I don't think I'm going to bother to look either, Grandad.
11:34Hello to son of the bride of Dracula.
11:36Oh, here he is.
11:38What time is it?
11:39The time, it is nearly nine o'clock.
11:40Nine?
11:41Oh, I'm going to be late if I don't get a move on.
11:43No, no, it's all right.
11:44There's no hurry.
11:44No, no, go on.
11:45No rush.
11:45Sit down.
11:46Take it easy.
11:46That's it.
11:47Go on.
11:47Let me get you a cup of tea, all right?
11:48Oh, yeah.
11:49Here you go, then.
11:50You still taking my part with Janice?
11:52Yes.
11:52Don't worry, I won't let you down.
11:54Cheers, Dill.
11:55How am I doing?
11:56Very well.
11:57Very well, yes.
11:59One more steak meal could crack it.
12:01Yeah?
12:02I haven't done this well with a girl for a long time.
12:05You're like me, Rodney.
12:06I've never, ever found it easy to get girlfriends.
12:10I wonder why.
12:12Hey, it's still light out.
12:14It's broad daylight.
12:15No, of course it would be, wouldn't it?
12:16Nine o'clock in the morning.
12:17What do you expect?
12:18Nine o'clock in the morning?
12:19I thought it was nine at night.
12:21I've only been in bed 20 minutes.
12:22What you waiting for?
12:24Sit down, sit down.
12:25It's all right.
12:26All right, don't exaggerate.
12:2720 minutes?
12:28Listen, I want to discuss something very important with you, you see.
12:30What could be that important?
12:32Hey, I haven't got Janice into trouble, have we?
12:34Don't be silly.
12:36At least I hope not.
12:39Listen, I want to talk to you, you see.
12:40Now, this night security job of yours is merely a tiny part of my immaculate scheme.
12:46What immaculate scheme?
12:47The tourist trade, Rodney.
12:48The tourist trade.
12:50See, do you realise that over 2,000 tourists pour into London every day
12:53and I happen to know, despite the fact that tourism has never been so high,
12:56the coach party trade is falling off.
12:58Now, why, you may ask?
13:00Yeah, why is that, Del?
13:01Well, since you ask, I will tell you, Rodney.
13:03The reason is your average tourist, he gets fed up, doesn't he,
13:06of seeing the same old places like the Houses of Parliament, Buckhouse,
13:10the National Gallery, you know.
13:12Once you've seen one Rubens, you've seen them all.
13:15Now, this is where a dynamic person like me steps in.
13:18Wake up while your brother's being dynamic.
13:19I'm sorry, go on.
13:21Yeah, right.
13:22You see, out there, Rodney, out there's a new, vibrant, exciting,
13:26London awaiting to be discovered.
13:28Is there?
13:29Yeah, of course there is.
13:31Ethnic London.
13:33Ethnic London?
13:34Yeah.
13:35Yes, you know, all those romantic places that you've only heard about in fairy tales.
13:39You know, the Lee Valley Viaduct.
13:43The glow of Lower Edmonton at dusk.
13:46The excitement of a walkabout in Croydon.
13:50Look what I've had printed.
13:52Oh, I don't believe this.
13:54Trotters Ethnic Tours.
13:56What's all this squiggly stuff and the Chinese?
13:58The squiggly stuff.
13:59The squiggly, that is Arabic, isn't it?
14:00And the Chinese is Japanese.
14:02It's a well-known fact that 90% of all foreign tourists come from abroad.
14:06So, we've got to speak their lingo, ain't we?
14:08We?
14:09French, I like it.
14:10Already you're picking up the lingo, son.
14:13That is what I call enthusiasm, Rodney.
14:15I weren't speaking in French, Del.
14:17I meant, what do you mean, we?
14:19We, us, you know, us.
14:20Yeah, you know, because it's a family enterprise, isn't it?
14:23Granddaddy will sell the programs.
14:24I shall be the courier.
14:26And you, Rodney, you have got the best job of all because you will drive the bus.
14:33Hold tight, everybody.
14:34Rodney's coming, eh?
14:36Be another wage, Rodney.
14:37I've already got a wage, Del.
14:39Yeah, but you can't afford to live on what I pay you, can you?
14:41I don't know, Del, how much you paying me?
14:43Well, not a lot.
14:44Not a lot.
14:45So, you know, I can't afford to.
14:46See, well, I've done a deal.
14:49You see, with a bus garage.
14:51What happened was, I provided them with a night...
14:52Well, no, no, no, nocturnal security operator.
14:56And they provide me with an open-top bus.
14:58That saves the exchange of any cash, you know.
15:00Stops all the paperwork.
15:01And income tax.
15:02Income tax, yeah.
15:05Hey, come on, what about it, Rodney?
15:07Hey, a lot of work and effort has gone into this enterprise, eh?
15:11I mean, Granddad, he was uptown this morning at the crack of dawn
15:14distributing all these leaflets to every hotel, boarding house and hostel he could find.
15:19Granddad, he believes in this scheme, don't you, Granddad?
15:22Ethnic tours, it's the most stupidest thing I've ever heard of.
15:26See?
15:28Del, you can't expect me to work all night,
15:30then in the morning drive a busload of tourists round ethnic London.
15:34I've got to sleep, Del.
15:35My old buddy's crying out for sleep.
15:38Yeah, yeah.
15:39I'll tell you what I'll do.
15:40Um, I'll get you some assistance at the garage, eh?
15:43Then you can have a kip.
15:44I'll get you, uh, I'll get you an ex-police dog.
15:48Ex-police dog?
15:49Yeah.
15:50Now, do you fancy some breakfast?
15:52Oh, I wouldn't say no, Del.
15:53Good, great, come on then.
15:54Off we go, there you go, innit?
15:56While you're in there, make me a bacon sandwich, all right?
16:00Where are you gonna get an ex-police dog from?
16:03I'll get him, I'll get him Nero.
16:06Who's Nero?
16:08Nero, Janice's corgi.
16:19Oh.
16:31We clearly stated on our leaflets that nine o'clock was departure time.
16:35Here we are, 11.30.
16:37No sign of them.
16:38I've told you before, no-one'll turn up.
16:41Yes, they will.
16:43As soon as the word spreads about a bit, they'll be here in droves.
16:46Now, the only thing that worries me is, is a 59-seater bus gonna be big enough?
16:50I mean, perhaps we should have had two, you know, maybe three.
16:53A tandem would be too big.
16:54Don't make me laugh, will ya?
16:56I'll bet you not one single tourist arrives.
17:01I'll bet you 50 quid they do.
17:03Right, 50 quid, you're on.
17:05Right then.
17:06All right.
17:07Right.
17:07Right.
17:08Right.
17:08Right.
17:09Shut up, you two, will ya?
17:11I didn't get a wink of sleep last night,
17:13taking that rotten dog for walkies and what have ya.
17:17That's a funny kind of police dog, that dog.
17:19It saw a cat and ran a mile.
17:22Ah, well, cats aren't Nero's strong point.
17:24Show him a burglar and it becomes a tower of strength.
17:28Where's all these tourists in?
17:30I thought we'd be having an ethnic look round Chingford by now.
17:34Don't worry, they'll be here.
17:36Shut up, you.
17:39How much you charging them for this tour, then?
17:4217 quid each.
17:4417 pounds for a walkabout in Croydon?
17:47Well, that includes lunch, doesn't it?
17:49Traditional British fare.
17:51Donna Kebab, something like that.
17:54For 17 knicker, I'd want Donna Summers.
17:56Well, you would, wouldn't you, you tightwad?
17:59Now, these tourists, they don't mind splashing out
18:01before they ain't getting value for money.
18:03Now, look at that.
18:04They'll snap these souvenirs of oldie London up, they will.
18:09It's a snip, that, is it, a fiver a go?
18:11Almost alabaster, you know.
18:13You're going to sell them models of a Roman statue
18:15now housed in the Louvre Gallery in Paris
18:18for souvenirs of old London?
18:19It's the Venus de Milo, Del.
18:23No, that is Baudelaire, that is, isn't it, eh?
18:25Baudelaire rode round in a chariot
18:27with big swords sticking out the wheels.
18:29All right, so she fell off her chariot.
18:33Just trying to rip them off, ain't you?
18:35Au contraire, Rodney. Au contraire.
18:39Oh, I don't want to leave them potless.
18:41I want them to have some money in their pockets.
18:43At least enough for us to have a tip.
18:45As a courier, what do you actually know
18:47about these obscure places you intend to drag them to?
18:51Oh, no, nothing.
18:53At least twice as much as they know.
18:55Don't worry, I shall bluff them, Rodney.
18:57I shall use the old spiel.
18:58If they ask me any questions
18:59that I find a bit dodgy to answer,
19:01I shall just say, I can't understand their English.
19:04Don't worry, be a doggle.
19:09I mean, today, I shall take them down Shoreditch
19:12and show them the house where Sherlock Holmes was born.
19:16Sherlock Holmes was fictional.
19:17Was he?
19:19Oh, well, I'll just say his house got blown up during the war.
19:21Tomorrow, I shall take them to the summit of Mount Pleasant.
19:25The summit of Mount Pleasant?
19:28What's the matter with you, Grandad?
19:29Can't you stay a night or something?
19:30Mount Pleasant hasn't got a summit.
19:33All it's got is a big post office sorting depot.
19:38That's ethnic, isn't it, eh?
19:40We can give them a guided tour of the depot.
19:42Show them the workers getting the most from the post.
19:45I should stay awake if I was you.
19:47They'll be here in their hundreds in a minute.
19:55I'll take them over to North London.
19:57Show them where Jack the Ripper was buried.
20:00Nobody knows where Jack the Ripper was buried.
20:02They can't prove me wrong then, can they, eh?
20:07Shall we give them another five minutes then go, Bill?
20:09Yeah, all right.
20:10Take the bus back to the garage and you can begin your night shift, all right?
20:14Cheers, Bill.
20:15I want you back first thing in the morning, though.
20:17Don't forget to take Nero out so he can do his business.
20:21You ready?
20:33Pinalaga, Rodney.
20:35They sold right out of Pina Coladas, Bill.
20:38So I got you a Mackeyson instead.
20:41Right. Good thinking.
20:43Yes, thank you, Grandad.
20:47What are you going to do if the tourists start asking about the history of places?
20:50I mean, say one of them wants to know how the Elephant and Castle got its name.
20:54Well, I'll just say, um, once upon a time,
20:58Richard the Lionheart, or Coeur de Lion, as the French used to call him,
21:02which he did not like one little bit.
21:04See where a little bit of intimate knowledge goes a long way in impressing people?
21:08Well, I'll say that he had a castle situated roughly near the roundabout.
21:15I'll say, uh, Hannibal and his elephants,
21:19they lay siege to the castle.
21:21And Bob's your uncle.
21:24Across the Alps.
21:26No, no, on his way to the castles.
21:29And the natives who had never seen an elephant,
21:31they were sorely afraid.
21:33And that is how it became known in that area as the Elephant and Castle.
21:40If they'd never seen an elephant before,
21:42how did they know it was an elephant?
21:47For God's sake, Grandad, an elephant's a bloody elephant, innit?
21:50I mean, you can't lodge that.
21:51I mean, you can't look at an elephant and say,
21:53oh no, we'll call this place the Cow and Castle.
21:55You can't do that, can you?
21:57But you're not telling them the truth, are you?
21:59The truth.
22:00The truth? You're so naive, Rodders.
22:02The truth is only relative to what you can earn from a lie.
22:06Einstein.
22:07I'll tell you one truth that you won't earn a brass farving out of.
22:11No-one's gonna turn up.
22:13They will turn up. They've got to.
22:15This time next year, we'll be millionaires.
22:21You said that this time last year.
22:23You're eating, ain't you?
22:29Nah, I wanted to do this for years, Rodney.
22:32I always thought if we could make a success of it,
22:35eventually we would go legit.
22:37You know, we would register the name Trottler's Independent Traders
22:41as a proper McCoy company.
22:45I have this dream.
22:47You and I own this skyscraper office block on the South Bank.
22:52We're standing on a balcony in a penthouse suite
22:54with a couple of sorts.
22:57Gabrielle.
22:58Bianca.
22:59Uh...
23:01Braless, but with class.
23:04Yeah, did you know your Janice doesn't wear a bra?
23:06Yeah, I know.
23:06Oh, you know.
23:08Yeah, we're in a penthouse full of rubber plants and pine,
23:11hanging groove, and we're sipping red drinks.
23:16And above us, on top of the skyscraper,
23:18in 50-foot high neon lettering,
23:20are the initials of Trottler's Independent Traders.
23:25Good, isn't it, eh?
23:27Terrific, Dale.
23:28Yeah.
23:29They've got to come.
23:31My dream starts the way every success starts,
23:34with a great big rip-off.
23:36Dale, Grandad's right.
23:37No one's going to turn up.
23:38Yes, they will.
23:39You wait and see.
23:42I think that dream of yours contains a subliminal message.
23:45Yeah.
23:46Do I?
23:47A sort of subconscious truth.
23:49You see this skyscraper belonging to Trottler's Independent Traders, right?
23:53Yeah.
23:54And on the roof are the company's initials,
23:56and you're standing on a penthouse balcony.
23:59Well, don't you see what the dream's trying to tell you?
24:01As you're standing on that balcony with your red drink,
24:04just above your head, in 50-foot high neon lettering,
24:07is the word...
24:09T.
24:19Come on, let's call it a day.
24:20You owe me 50 quid on that bet, eh?
24:30Oh, all right, you old pessimist.
24:51What about our wages then, Dale?
24:54Oh yeah, I meant to talk to you about that.
25:18I thought that was going to be the big one, Rodney.
25:20Thought it was going to be the Freddy Laker of the highways.
25:23Nice try, Dale.
25:25I don't understand it, though.
25:26I just don't understand it.
25:28Grandad distributed a thousand leaflets.
25:30A thousand!
25:31You'd have thought that one, just one bunter, might have been interested.
25:36Still, as dear old mum used to say,
25:38it's better to know you've lost than not to know you've won.
25:43Dear old mum.
25:45She used to say some bloody stupid things.
25:48I'm going to chuck this down the chute.
25:5030, 35, 40, 45, 50.
25:55Well, that weren't too bad, was it, Rodney?
25:58I've had two days away from the housework,
26:01a nice little drink, and I've won meself a 50 quid bet.
26:06Very nice.
26:07Very nice indeed.
26:10Where's Dale boy?
26:12Oh, he's just gone to chuck that sign down a dust chute.
26:14Ah, a dust chute.
26:17Oh, my God.
26:20Grandad!
26:24Come here, you senile old parasite.
26:27It wasn't me, Dale boy.
26:29It was me brain.
26:30It wasn't your...
26:31I'll brain you if I catch hold of you.
26:34Come here, you idiot.
26:35Shut up at all.