Veep Season 6 Episode 4 Justice
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TVTranscript
00:00You've recently drawn some criticism over an 11th hour pardon of private prison magnate
00:07Sherman Tanns.
00:08Ma'am, you can't run for president.
00:10What if I told you that I had Tanns on board?
00:13Tanns is radioactive.
00:16He can read the newspaper in the toilet by the light of his own shit.
00:19I am announcing tonight that I'm withdrawing.
00:22Amy darling, come on out here, honey.
00:26The library fund received 60 million Georgian Lari.
00:29Yeah, that's worth about $20 million.
00:32Actually, since the coup, there's been a slight dip in the exchange rate.
00:36It's now worth approximately $389,000.
00:40Way to go, ma'am.
00:42Jesus, Beverly, Christ, I'm starving.
00:45Do you want a juice box?
00:46Well, where was that an hour ago?
00:48Ma'am.
00:49What?
00:50We have a lead on a site for your library, Eastern Shore of Maryland.
00:53If it was any more Kennedy-esque, it would drive you into the ocean.
00:56Eastern Shore.
00:57Very classy.
00:58Fittingly, I lost my back, Virginia.
01:01I'm sorry.
01:02I'm sorry.
01:03I'm sorry.
01:04I'm sorry.
01:05I'm sorry.
01:06I'm sorry.
01:07I'm sorry.
01:08I'm sorry.
01:09I'm sorry.
01:10I'm sorry.
01:11I think I've already lost my back, virginity and ascetic.
01:13I once lost my wallet in Denver.
01:14We need a down payment of $5,000.
01:16Yeah, whatever.
01:17Ma'am, Tan's at two o'clock?
01:18Where?
01:19No, ma'am, you have a meeting with Tan's at two o'clock.
01:22Oh.
01:23Thank you very much for churching.
01:24Absolutely.
01:25President Mike.
01:26President Mike.
01:27Would you like a few words about the late Justice Taney?
01:30Absolutely.
01:31He was a friend to all people, especially corporations who he legally considered to
01:37be people.
01:38Ma'am, president,
01:39Do you have any idea who President Montez is considering for the open Supreme Court seat?
01:43No, no, no. There is absolutely no validity to the rumor that the president is being considered for the seat.
01:50Do you mean President Meyer?
01:52Is that even a rumor?
01:53At this point, that's all we can say.
01:58What in the holy fuck was that, Mike?
02:00I'm so sorry, ma'am. I just habitually deny everything these days.
02:03Gets me in trouble with Wendy, too.
02:05The other day, I flushed a comb down the toilet.
02:07You know what I don't need? It's examples.
02:11I do want to hear the end of that, though.
02:13No, no, no. There's absolutely no validity to this rumor that...
02:16If you like, Jane, I could put your name out there for you.
02:19Do you think I'd make a good judge?
02:21You do like throwing books at people.
02:23When we return, more of that signature Danny Egan wit, plus reading.
02:28Could it be bad for your child's self-esteem?
02:32Why one Texas housewife wants to phase it out.
02:37We are clear.
02:38That was funny.
02:39Not too far?
02:40No, no. I said it was funny. I meant it was funny. Keep it up.
02:42Okay, here we go.
02:44I thought my charm campaign was turning into a bit of a death march,
02:46but I think I breached her defenses.
02:48Stevie?
02:49Yeah?
02:50When we throw out a commercial, I want a full fucking beaver shot with the legs.
02:55Otherwise, what is the point?
02:57Sorry, Jane. Beave and legs. Got it.
02:59I don't see that much of a difference. I mean, she pretty much likes everyone.
03:01I need her to like me. Can we go easy on the bronzer, please?
03:04Or I'm starting to look like a diversity hire here.
03:06I mean, Jane calls the shots, and I want to be taken seriously.
03:08I get you.
03:09If I wanted people to think that I actually still cared about them, I would have stayed in fucking politics.
03:12Here are the notes on the kids' chefs. I'd be careful a couple of them have colds.
03:16I'm sweating my balls off here. Is the air conditioning even on?
03:20It's what time it is, ma'am.
03:21What time?
03:22Memoir time.
03:23Oh, God.
03:24Last time you weren't comfortable just talking, so I made a list of questions.
03:28Oh, okay. Fine.
03:29First one. As a female, do you feel that...
03:32Pass.
03:33Ma'am, Sherman Tanz is here.
03:34Oh, my God. All right. Get out of here, Mike.
03:36Great session.
03:37Sherman.
03:38Madam Pardner.
03:39Don't mention it. Ever.
03:43Come in. Take a seat.
03:45Thanks.
03:46So, we have something to toast because we found property for my library.
03:52Oh, wonderful. You know, I'm on the board of the Nixon Library.
03:55Oh, good for you.
03:56The miserable antisemite, but a great friend of Israel.
03:59Yes, yes.
04:00So, how much do you need?
04:02Do you know, by the way, that my father was an associate of B.B. Robozo's?
04:07You're stalling. You must be a big number.
04:10No, I don't want to...
04:11We have back trouble. You know what helps? Bananas.
04:13Oh, is that so?
04:14The potassium.
04:15Oh, of course. Yeah, that makes sense.
04:16It's a little ache. It's nothing.
04:18If you're not using that...
04:19Oh, absolutely.
04:20I never turn down a warm compress.
04:22Then take it. Let's give Mr. Tanz a compress.
04:24Sure.
04:25Okay. Good.
04:27What? No massage?
04:29Gary, massage him.
04:37I believe you were about to mention a number?
04:40Yes.
04:43Just go deep. Just go deep for him.
04:45Yes. I was thinking in the ballpark of maybe five million.
04:50That's a big ballpark. Thank you.
04:53But I think five million is swingable.
04:57Oh, bless your heart and your deep pockets, Sherman.
05:01Now, listen, if there's anything that I can't ever do...
05:04Actually...
05:05Okay, there we go.
05:06Madam President, because of the actions of misguided reformers,
05:11our prison system is in grave danger of dropping below 135% occupancy.
05:17Well, I think that I'm partially to blame for that because I let you out of one.
05:21Montez is pushing hard to put an end to for-profit prisons and privatization.
05:26It's madness.
05:27It's insane.
05:28I want to find somebody to make sure it does not happen.
05:31Somebody from the Hill, preferably high up.
05:33Yeah, we can find you a man or a woman, but it'll probably be a man.
05:38If you want to get anything done, hang on a second.
05:40Richard?
05:41Yes, ma'am?
05:42Right. I want you to get in touch with Ed McPherson on judiciary
05:46because he's building an infinity pool.
05:48On it.
05:49To type.
05:50Okie dokie.
05:51Madam President, don't let me take any more of your time.
05:53It's always a pleasure.
05:55It's always a tonic for me to see you.
05:57Keep your chin up.
06:00What's happening?
06:01Oh, my God.
06:02What's this?
06:03My back.
06:04Okay, get me a clean compress now, please.
06:06Ma'am, you're not going to believe this.
06:08What?
06:09CNN just came out with their speculative list of nominees for the open Supreme Court seat.
06:14Yeah.
06:15And they have you as a long shot's long shot.
06:17You have got to be kidding me.
06:19You're welcome.
06:20Gary, put CNN on right now.
06:22Oh, cnn.com.
06:23Well, nobody looks at that.
06:24Nobody looks at that.
06:25Thanks for nothing, Mike.
06:26God damn it, you guys.
06:27I am so hot.
06:29My tits feel like these hot pockets.
06:33Do we have any hot pockets?
06:35Well, ma'am, have you seen the doctor lately?
06:37Because maybe it's...
06:39Hey, don't fucking say that.
06:41Okay?
06:42It's not that.
06:43Seriously, that is like a sexist beyond sexist reaction.
06:46I'm just tired.
06:48I'm uncomfortable.
06:49Mike's hair reminds me of graham cracker crumbs.
06:52I can't get any air in here because all you people are in here sucking it.
06:56Get out.
06:57All of you, out.
06:58We'll hit the book later.
06:59Gary, where are you going?
07:00Nowhere.
07:01I'm not.
07:02I'm not.
07:03Good news is, without the tampons, it's going to free up some space in my bag.
07:06Where are you going to put yours?
07:08I'm serious.
07:10Okay.
07:11Well, I do understand that, Senator.
07:14But I know Sherman Tans perhaps in a way that you don't know Sherman Tans.
07:18Excuse me.
07:19Oh, my God.
07:21I pardoned typhoid moisture.
07:25Richard!
07:26Oh, I'm sorry.
07:27Sorry.
07:28How's your temperature been?
07:29It's totally normal.
07:30Ma'am, I tried everyone on the finance committee, and they all said no.
07:34All of them?
07:35They all said no very fast.
07:37You have to check this out.
07:38This is insane.
07:39What is it?
07:40Do you actually think former president Selina Meyer could be a good choice?
07:45Reaching across the aisle.
07:46I'm going to need normal breasts, please.
07:48Everything normally.
07:49Well, Meyer certainly would be a super left field choice, but what does this mean?
07:54Super left field?
07:55I mean, is that even a position?
07:56Mm-hmm.
07:57That was my position in Little League.
07:58I was a pitcher's helper.
07:59Oh.
08:00This is insane, isn't it?
08:01I know.
08:02It's fucking absurd.
08:03Well, you don't have to agree with me that strongly.
08:05Don't you guys have something to do for Tans?
08:08If you don't find anyone in the Senate, lift up the sewer grate to the house.
08:12Madam President.
08:13What?
08:14Oh.
08:15Okay.
08:16It's menopause.
08:17Just get it over with.
08:18Write me a prescription for Eileen Fisher and Fosamax and lube.
08:22It's a common mistake among women with the sweating and back pain at your age.
08:26Careful.
08:27Could you please just go and pack everything up for me in that other room?
08:31Go.
08:32Bye, Gary.
08:33Oh, boy.
08:34I suspect that this may be myocardial ischemia.
08:37It's a lack of oxygen to the heart muscle.
08:39It's usually caused by a partial arterial blockage.
08:43What?
08:44I'm so sorry.
08:45What?
08:46What are you telling me?
08:47I think you had a small heart attack.
08:50A heart attack?
08:51Yes, ma'am.
08:55So I'm not menopausal?
08:57Well, no, but this is far more serious.
09:00Well, hand me a cracker and spread it up with I can't believe it's not menopause.
09:05We need to get you to a hospital.
09:06You want to knock me up, Doc, just because I can do it?
09:09Ma'am, time is of the essence here.
09:11It's just a heart attack.
09:12Gary!
09:13Get!
09:14Jesus.
09:15What is that?
09:16Maybe my uterus is just wonky.
09:18No, Catherine.
09:19It's porcelain.
09:20Perfect.
09:27You know what I like about you two?
09:29It's not clear who's the top.
09:31I am.
09:32Oh.
09:33Yeah.
09:34Maybe we're just doing this wrong.
09:36I mean, all these tubes and jars.
09:38It just doesn't feel organic.
09:40We could streamline the process.
09:44You could have direct sexual intercourse with the donor.
09:47Really?
09:48That's interesting.
09:50I mean, I guess if you think that that would work, I'm willing to try anything.
09:55Why don't we just puppy pile, okay?
09:57We'll all get a bite to eat afterwards, you know, see a movie or something.
10:01We'll make it nice.
10:03It could be interesting.
10:04Yeah.
10:05He does have very delicate features.
10:08Mr. Regan?
10:09Yes.
10:10Hi.
10:11Is it okay with you to discuss the results all together?
10:13Whatever.
10:14I'm just the cream filling in this gay Claire.
10:18Well, your sperm count looks normal, but the motility is abnormally low,
10:23which means, I'm sorry to say, it may be virtually impossible for you to conceive.
10:29Seriously?
10:30I'm so sorry, Dan.
10:32So I've been pulling out this entire time for nothing?
10:34Well, that has nothing—
10:36Oh, I am going to save a fortune in morning-after bills.
10:40I have, like, three girls that owe me an abortion refund.
10:43Ladies, I am Danny Egan, and I will see you in the tomorrow.
10:48Doctor, can you give us a minute?
10:51Certainly.
10:53Marjorie, I really think that we need to just—
10:55Your mother had a heart attack in D.C.
11:02Oh, my God, I can't believe I just did that.
11:09We should go to Washington, probably, I guess.
11:12I guess.
11:18Did I die?
11:20Here we go again.
11:22What just happened?
11:23Yeah, he keeps waking up and asking that.
11:26You had a heart attack, Gary, for the third friggin' time.
11:32Oh, Jesus.
11:33Madam President?
11:34Yes?
11:35You should really lie down.
11:36Oh, I—
11:37What happened? You had a heart attack, too?
11:39No, I had a heart episode, and they're just going to pop a stent in there just for fun.
11:44Here you go.
11:45Thank you so much.
11:47Can we get something for Mr. Walsh, please?
11:49Because he's the one who's really ailing and at death's door.
11:53I am?
11:54Yes, Madam President.
11:55Oh, I'm at death's door.
11:57Listen, if I don't make it—
11:58Gary, you're going to be fine.
11:59You have plenty to live for, too.
12:01I do?
12:02Of course.
12:03Just think.
12:05Next year, you get to go to my library opening, and you get to buy my book.
12:11Can't you just give me a copy?
12:13Well, I can't be giving out free copies of the book, because think of the position that that would put me in.
12:18Oh, I'm sorry.
12:19That's okay.
12:20And you're going to have a birthday next—
12:24August.
12:25August.
12:26Good for you, that's right.
12:28And you're going to be—
12:29Forty.
12:30Forty.
12:31You remembered.
12:32You're only forty?
12:35I'm going to have a party.
12:37Oh, really?
12:38In Alabama.
12:39Oh.
12:40Alabama.
12:41If I make it, will you come?
12:45Yes.
12:46I will come.
12:48Madam President.
12:49Yes?
12:50Ron Addis, head of cardiology.
12:51Oh, head of cardiology for him?
12:53No, ma'am.
12:54I'll be placing your stent.
12:55Okay, thank God.
12:56Yeah, let's get that done.
12:59There you go, kid.
13:02Yeah, good.
13:04Okay, if anybody asks, you just say I'm in a routine closed-door meeting, okay?
13:08Yes, ma'am.
13:09And if they're wondering why I'm at the hospital, you just put that on Gary, because he had a massive heart attack, luckily.
13:15He's good, though, right?
13:16Yes, ma'am.
13:17Because I don't know the alarm code to get back into my house.
13:19Marjorie and Katherine are on their way.
13:21Just tell them I'm in a meeting, too.
13:23All right, got it.
13:24No photos!
13:26I was accessing her medical history.
13:28Ma'am, Sherman Tann's called again.
13:30Oh, God.
13:31Where are we with that?
13:32All knows.
13:33Yeah, just like his face.
13:34We need to give him a name or we lose him.
13:36All ready.
13:37Time to go.
13:38Okay.
13:39Just give him that whale dong Jonah my God.
13:42Good luck.
13:43I'm fine.
13:44Get well soon.
13:45Thank you so much, Richard.
13:47Hey, I have...
13:51You can just close that, okay?
13:53She never stops talking.
13:55No!
13:56No, no, no.
13:57That's not what I want to...
13:58She didn't even...
14:02What are you doing?
14:03I'm calling Jonah.
14:04No!
14:05Well, well, well.
14:06If it isn't the prodigal traitor.
14:08Come back home to suck on my giant congressional ball.
14:11No, it's Richard Splett.
14:13I'm calling on behalf of President Selina Meyer.
14:15You remember her.
14:16She's the former...
14:17Hold on, I have a more important call coming in.
14:19Oh, okay.
14:22Well, well, well.
14:23If it isn't the prodigal ex-girlfriend.
14:25Come home to suck on my giant...
14:27Listen, gizclot.
14:28I can't believe I'm saying this,
14:30but you're going to have a meeting with Sherman Tanns.
14:32Is this the same thing that Richard's calling about?
14:34No idea.
14:35Just stay on with me.
14:36This is your chance to get back in President Meyer's good graces.
14:39Hey.
14:40Who is Sherman Tanns?
14:42Private prison and payday lending magnate.
14:45Israel hyper-enthusiast billionaire.
14:47Convicted of tax fraud.
14:48Yeah, when people think about what's wrong in Washington,
14:51they think of him.
14:52And you.
14:53Association with Tanns spells disaster.
14:56So I shouldn't meet with him.
14:59Well, for you, Congressman, disaster would be a step up.
15:03Are you asking Ben and Kent who he is?
15:06No.
15:07He's a prison magnate.
15:09Hello?
15:10Oh, someone's calling.
15:13This is Split.
15:14Hey, buddy.
15:15Help me out with the Selena Ross and Supremes insanity.
15:17Apparently someone saw President Meyer's name on McPherson's call sheet,
15:21and he's the chair of the Judiciary Committee.
15:23I'm sorry, could you repeat everything after hey, buddy?
15:25Oh, shit, hold on one second.
15:26Jane.
15:27Yeah?
15:28Chocolate chip walnut cookies from the van.
15:30You're lucky I have such a great ass.
15:34All right, so tell me, is there any truth at all to this?
15:36All I can tell you is that President Meyer is in a closed-door meeting.
15:40Wait, so this Supreme Court shit's real?
15:42All I can tell you is President Meyer is in a closed-door meeting.
15:48Hello?
15:50I better get back to Mr. Ryan.
15:56Hey, guys.
15:58I have insider confirmation that Selena Meyer is being considered for the open Supreme Court seat.
16:03To what?
16:04Reupholster it?
16:05Write it up real quick, and then, Jane, you can lead with it.
16:07Actually, I think Danny should run with it.
16:10It's his source, it's his story.
16:12Really?
16:13I will take the zoo animal segment.
16:15Professor Parrot.
16:16Yes.
16:17Jane, are you sure this is huge?
16:18If I am speaking, I am sure.
16:20Sorry, Jane, of course, you are sure.
16:22Danny is my man.
16:25Jane, thank you.
16:30Oh, also, can we do something about my makeup girl and her Hinckley-esque obsession with bronzer?
16:35She's not going anywhere. She's the head makeup artist's niece.
16:37I'm starting to look like I should be auditioning for a telenovela here.
16:39Why don't you talk to Jane? You're her man.
16:42Yeah, right.
16:43Which is actually great, because I have this really killer piece I want to do in Rwanda.
16:55Hi.
16:57Hi. What is my password for my phone?
16:59Hello, ma'am.
17:00Hi.
17:01How are you feeling?
17:02Oh, honey. Oh, you got me some bodega flowers?
17:06They're actually from a very expensive boutique.
17:09Oh, okay. Well, I like them wherever they're from. We can just give them to Gary.
17:13Oh, thank you.
17:14Ma'am, more court questions?
17:16Ma'am, this is getting silly. Montez is not going to name someone from the opposite party to the Supreme Court.
17:21We need to all just chill out and not—
17:24Montez is on TV.
17:25I can't comment on the nomination process.
17:28However, I remain committed to reaching across the aisle.
17:33Fuck my ears.
17:34She just said, reaching across the aisle.
17:37Montez, a Latin piece of ass.
17:40Okay, he's hallucinating. Come here. Come here. Come out here.
17:43What is going on here? What is our next move?
17:46Ma'am, Senator Howell is from Judiciary. He wants to set a meeting to pre-vet.
17:50No.
17:51This means I'm on the short list?
17:53What? I'm on the short list?
17:55Peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo!
17:58Madam President, may I say from one vet to another, congratulations.
18:01Oh, God, this is the second act that Selina Meyer finally deserves.
18:06And we got to play this smart.
18:08Madam President?
18:09Hello. How are you?
18:10Gary Walsh?
18:11Yeah.
18:12If you will just sign here, please.
18:14Yes, queen.
18:16We'll go over your discharge plans, your aftercare, your medications.
18:19Okay.
18:20Um, Gary?
18:22Hmm?
18:23Do you have someone at home who can take care of you?
18:26Mm-hmm. As my roommates.
18:28Stashelle, Lark, and Bush.
18:30You have three roommates?
18:32We share a studio in Hoboken.
18:34Your mom doesn't think you're pretty, but I think you're stunning.
18:40This isn't unprecedented either, because President Taft was on the Supreme Court after he was president.
18:46Yeah, and was the first thing you remember about him.
18:48He got stuck in a bathtub?
18:49No, well, the second thing you remember about him.
18:51He was buried in a piano case.
18:53No, that's not right.
18:54Mom?
18:55What?
18:56Gary's going to stay with us in the Brownstone until he gets better.
18:58Okay, what's happening right now?
19:01Go call Hallows and tell her Selina will meet with her next Monday.
19:06Is that your Hallows impression?
19:07It's spot on.
19:08Hilarious.
19:09Ooh, Monday. It's day after daylight saving time.
19:11It's my favorite holiday, because it's like living in a tiny little version of Back to the Future.
19:14He can't go all the way back to Hoboken.
19:17Hi.
19:18New Jersey? What are you talking about? You live in New Jersey?
19:20You're at the Brownstone by six.
19:22I leave a little after four. I catch the 428 path.
19:25Okay, well, I don't need this.
19:27And then I do a quick jaunt, and I'm there in time to steep the tea for you.
19:31Mom.
19:32What?
19:33Oh, my God. Fine. Put him in the basement.
19:35I don't give a shit, okay?
19:37He gives a shit.
19:38I'm on the short list.
19:39Love the basement.
19:40What is my password?
19:41I don't know.
19:43Okay.
19:45Give my regards to everybody on the Judiciary Committee.
19:49Oh, of course, Madam President.
19:51Be well.
19:52Oh, I'm well. I'm weller than well.
19:53I love your scarf.
19:55Eileen Fisher.
19:56Oh, so chic.
19:57Bye-bye.
19:58Bye-bye.
19:59I feel like my chest has been trampled in a Puerto Rican nightclub fire.
20:03It's like I'm breathing through a tiny straw, you know?
20:07Oh, a straw. Yeah, I want a water with a straw.
20:10Uh-huh.
20:11So that went well.
20:12That went really well.
20:13Ma'am, Sherman Tann's called.
20:14Well, tell Sherman Tann's I don't need a library anymore.
20:18Oh, ma'am.
20:19No.
20:20My legacy, guys, is me in a robe, taking guns from this guy, giving the death penalty to that guy.
20:27And they can't vote me out, right?
20:30It's for life.
20:31They're going to have to carry me out of there with a gavel clenched in my cold, dead twat.
20:36Oh, Gary, I need you to move all of these law review boxes.
20:40Love to.
20:41See, now it hurts for me to point.
20:44See, that muscle's called the brachioradialis.
20:46At least it is in cats.
20:47Do you want me to get you some Arnica ointment?
20:49Yeah, that would be good.
20:50And for the vetting, the Judiciary Committee has asked to send them everything that you've ever written on abortion.
20:56Well, I can give them my actual abortion if I can find it lying around here somewhere.
21:00I'll check the freezer.
21:01Ma'am, picked by the Supreme Court.
21:03I mean, that's a twist ending to the book.
21:06I know.
21:07Well, you know what?
21:08If I'm going to be a Supreme, I don't really think we need to finish this book.
21:12Oh, we do.
21:13We do, ma'am.
21:14Oh, no.
21:15It isn't upstairs, Gary.
21:16It's in the bathroom off of the kitchen.
21:18Of course.
21:19Yeah.
21:20Everybody reads now, ma'am.
21:21We can get this book done so fast.
21:22Oh, no worries.
21:23You guys are going now.
21:24It's in the bathroom upstairs.
21:25It's in the bathroom.
21:26Yeah.
21:27Just forget that for right now, okay?
21:29Give that a break.
21:31Oh, my God.
21:34I'm sorry, Mama.
21:35Bunny is late for middle school.
21:38I'll see you later.
21:40Gary?
21:42Okay, okay, okay.
21:44Do you know where my water with the straw is?
21:48Good morning, Team Ryan.
21:50Tell me what gets this Tans guy's dick hard.
21:52Being on time, Congressman Docco.
21:54You're an hour late.
21:55He's been sitting in your office the whole time.
21:5710 a.m.?
21:58It was an hour ago.
21:5958 minutes.
22:00Do I need to timesplain clock reading to you two?
22:04The big hand points to the noon,
22:06and the little hand points to the...
22:09Well, fuck, it's the...
22:11God, it's 10 a.m.
22:12You didn't set your watch forward.
22:14Happy Daylight Savings Time.
22:16Savings.
22:17Oh, shit.
22:18Daylight Savings Time is today?
22:19Saving, and it started yesterday.
22:21Okay, well, there is literally no way that I could have known that.
22:25Hello, sir.
22:2659 minutes.
22:28That's how long I've been sitting here,
22:29waiting for a man that nobody should wait for.
22:31Sir, I'm so sorry. My senior staff...
22:33Never apologize.
22:34Sorry betrays a weak spirit.
22:35Have a seat, Congressman.
22:38Okay, you're in, uh...
22:43Fine.
22:44Nice of you to fit me into your busy schedule.
22:46Okay, see, when you say that,
22:47it makes me think that I should be apologizing.
22:50Don't worry.
22:51I like to judge a man by looking him right in the eyes.
22:54Okay.
23:01Are you gonna make a campaign contribution or what?
23:04You know what?
23:06I am.
23:07Gettin' paid, gettin' laid, son.
23:10Congressman Jonah Ryan.
23:13R-Y-A-N.
23:14Zero dollars and one cent.
23:19Did you have a stroke, you weird-ass old man?
23:22You stuck around here for an hour just to be a dick?
23:25I did.
23:27You didn't even sign this.
23:28Maybe you should have apologized.
23:30You told me not to!
23:32Ding dong.
23:34Dinner is served.
23:35What?
23:36You should not be in the maid's quarters.
23:38I know.
23:39Well, let me help, let me help you.
23:40No, no, no, Gary, sit.
23:41No, no, no, you sit.
23:42No, Gary, sit.
23:43Listen.
23:44All right, let's both sit.
23:45Lookie, looksters.
23:47Oh, my goodness.
23:49Yeah.
23:50This looks delicious.
23:51What is it?
23:52We cut up a chicken sandwich and I put it into pasta.
23:56What?
23:58Is this the chicken sandwich that was in the fridge before the hospital?
24:02Wow.
24:04And you left the bun on it when you cut it.
24:09Well, you don't have to finish it if you don't have the fingers.
24:12No, no, no, I can't wait to swirl my fork in there and get in.
24:16Let me see.
24:18Mmm.
24:22Smells sort of funky, though, no?
24:24That's the blue cheese.
24:27No, but there isn't any blue cheese in it.
24:32You must be starving yourself, though.
24:37Oh, no, I ate.
24:38You did?
24:39Yeah, chef made me some grilled salmon and some asparagus with a Bernese sauce.
24:44It was heavenly.
24:45It was really delicious.
24:47I didn't finish it.
24:48I just threw the rest out.
24:49You did?
24:50Mm-hmm.
24:51Okay.
24:52Where is your water?
24:53I don't have any.
24:54There's just bottles in the kitchen.
24:58Yeah, I'll go.
24:59No, no, no, I'll go.
25:00No, no, no, I'm going to go, really, okay?
25:02I'm just, I just want to wait a minute.
25:04Okay, that's really sweet.
25:09We've got Queen XT Pillow Talk sets for $5.99 and a key memory foam.
25:15Apparently the state senator was against gay marriage and paying his gay escort.
25:23And we're clear.
25:25Great.
25:26No, listen to an eraser, go away.
25:28I don't want to.
25:29Daddy, I saw that piece that you did on Rwanda.
25:31It's very powerful.
25:32You did?
25:33Fantastic.
25:34I'm so glad you like it.
25:35Oh, you know what?
25:36Real quick.
25:37A lot of research.
25:38Very powerful.
25:39You got to try one of these.
25:40Just say yes.
25:41You will be the death of me.
25:43Cookie?
25:44Is that what she calls you when she puts her penis in your vagina?
25:48What?
25:49What are you talking about?
25:50We all know about you and Jane.
25:52You guys were together.
25:53Come on, I haven't slept with a woman over 30 since I was 14.
25:55That's because I needed the grade.
25:57Bronzine is fired.
25:58You're welcome.
25:59You're so tap in that.
26:12You're welcome.
26:42Where have you been?
27:01Late.
27:02Did I miss the French toast tippy things?
27:03You're two hours late.
27:04That's impossible.
27:05I sent my watch back for daylight savings time.
27:07Saving, not saving.
27:08You set your watch the wrong way.
27:10It's neither a plural nor a possessive.
27:11No, it's spring.
27:12I springed backwards.
27:13No, you spring forward.
27:15Have you ever watched girls' gymnastics?
27:17That makes no sense.
27:18You could just get the correct time from your phone.
27:21Oh, could I?
27:22Well, guess what?
27:23My phone fell in the toilet.
27:25So who's the fucking smart guy now, Ken?
27:27Hey, hey, hey, listen to me, you plus-sized homunculus.
27:29Plus-sized what?
27:30Homunculus, a human-shaped creature of medieval legend.
27:33The Paracelsus claim was created from putrefied sperm.
27:36How do you both know that?
27:38If you don't want that reporter to write a story titled
27:41Granite State represented by Twinless Tower,
27:44then you better get over there,
27:46dip his cock in some maple syrup,
27:48and start sucking.
27:49Fine.
27:50Hey, union leader, come here.
27:52Take this down.
27:54I'm not gonna suck your dick.
27:56The only one who should be sucking your dick
27:58is daylight savings time,
28:00and I don't give a fuck if that means
28:02that some farmer in Kansas
28:04has to milk his cow using a fucking flashlight.
28:07I've been on my own bedtime since I was 17.
28:09I didn't need a babysitter then,
28:11and I don't need one now,
28:12and it's high time that the government
28:14stop trying to babysit all of us.
28:19That was all off the record.
28:21Ma'am, New York Times says Montez
28:23is naming the nominee today.
28:25BuzzFeed confirms.
28:27Oh, my God, really?
28:28Yeah, we should be getting a phone call any minute.
28:30Oh, my heart is racing.
28:31I bet this time it's just menopause.
28:33President Meyer's office.
28:35Yep, she's right here.
28:36Excuse me, don't say that I'm here.
28:38You are here, though.
28:39Candy? Uh-huh.
28:41Oh, that's fantastic!
28:44Okay, thank you.
28:46Bye-bye.
28:47Get Shylock Tans on the phone right now!
28:50What?
28:51I don't know who Montez picked,
28:53but it sure as tits wasn't me.
28:55I need that money for the library ASAP.
28:57Go!
28:58I think his name is Sherman Tans.
28:59Fuck Montez.
29:01And that fake Bur-
29:03Whatever you call those donkeys
29:05when they ride in on bureaus.
29:07Bureau?
29:08It would have been a shame
29:09to hide that body under a robe, you know?
29:11Okay, yes.
29:12Sherman Tans on line one.
29:14Sherman, hello!
29:17I want to give you some exciting news.
29:20We have secured the property for the Meyer Library.
29:23Ah, that's sensational.
29:24Listen, I have something to tell you.
29:26I get it.
29:27You do.
29:28And I want you to remind me
29:30what it is exactly that you're getting.
29:32Jonah Ryan.
29:33He's young.
29:34He's raw.
29:35He's a fresh, if slightly deformed face
29:37that I can ride like a hobby horse.
29:39Did you see his nonsense about the daylight savings?
29:42I love this guy.
29:43We all do.
29:45This coastal property-
29:46Selena, I can't do the whole five mil by myself anymore.
29:49Seriously?
29:50I am all in on Jonah Ryan,
29:52and I owe you one.
29:53Okay.
29:54Yeah, that was the fucking point.
29:55I'll talk to you soon.
29:56Sherman?
29:57Bye.
29:58Okay?
29:59Oh, here it is.
30:00Has nominated President Stuart Hughes
30:03with a green court seat left empty
30:05by the death of Justice Kennedy.
30:10Well, at least you made the short list.
30:14How are you feeling, by the way?
30:16Good.
30:17Then shut the fuck up.
30:18Nah.
30:19On the bright side,
30:20it's gonna be an amazing new exhibit at the Hughes Library.
30:22Turn this off.
30:23Danny Egan takes an unflinching look
30:26at Rwanda 20 years later.
30:29Thank you, Jane.
30:30The Rwandan genocide ended over two decades ago,
30:33but for Jean-Pierre Mogambo,
30:35the nightmares never end.
30:38Good morning.
30:40Good morning.
30:43Look, it's 9 a.m., right?
30:45Yes, it is.
30:46Mm-hmm.
30:47Okay, great.
30:48Who are all these people?
30:50I told you I didn't want to meet with anybody.
30:52They are from TAMS.
30:54You've got economists, staffers,
30:56even a couple scientists, right?
30:59And they have written you a piece of legislation.
31:09Cool.
31:11Wait, do I have to read all this?
31:13Your choice.
31:14Fine.
31:17Hello.
31:18Thanks for this.
31:21Mr. Speaker,
31:23daylight saving, not plural,
31:28has never saved us from anything.
31:31Certainly not the higher energy costs
31:34it promised to lower.
31:36Statistically, there is proof
31:39that the twice yearly time change
31:41leads to increased accidents.
31:45And furthermore,
31:47the mishmash of time zones and time changes
31:51is just another example
31:53of the government overextending its reach.
31:57This bill will be a call for less government,
32:01from our clocks
32:03to our privately built for-profit prisons
32:07to the very watches on our wrists.
32:11Thank you, Mr. Speaker.
32:13I yield the floor.
32:18You're in therapy?
32:19Since when?
32:20Since I was 13.
32:22Well, what you really needed was a dermatologist.
32:25Meet my wife, Leah,
32:27and daughter, Shawnee.
32:28Missed hands.
32:29You are smoking.
32:31I'm the daughter.
32:32Gross.
32:33It's normal to experience a depression
32:37after a heart attack.
32:38I went through it with my father.
32:40He was unbearable.
32:42Trust me, Amy,
32:43it was not the heart attack
32:45that depressed your dad.