• 2 days ago
Veep Season 5 Episode 3 The Eagle

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Transcript
00:00Table for 200 McClintock. Mike McClintock.
00:22Yes, the table is ready.
00:24We're clear. Bring in Sparrow.
00:27And listen, can I just reiterate once again how really, really sorry I am?
00:33Wow, look at this. I guess they like us, huh?
00:37Hi. Wonderful. What were you saying?
00:41How really sorry I am, and I'm not someone who loves to apologize.
00:45Right, but you're loving it now, aren't you?
00:47Oh, I'm loving it. You want another one?
00:49Yep, I do.
00:50I'm really sorry. Really, really, really sorry.
00:54Now sing it.
00:55The president and Mr. Barrett enjoyed a delicious dinner of blue crabs
00:59trapped by local fisherman Steve Yerke
01:02and a cheese course including Basil Hayden Blue from Jasper Hill, Vermont.
01:06Mike, how is she able to focus on the economy if she's running around with her new boyfriend?
01:11The president has always placed great value on fiscal responsibility.
01:15In fact, as vice president, she was chairman of the Meyer Postal Commission,
01:19which reduced post office debt from $65 billion to just over $62 billion.
01:25Okay, Eagle. Well, I'll see you in a few seconds. Yep. Bye.
01:30All right, we got six more votes this morning.
01:33We're never going to close that gap.
01:36Well, on the less shitty side, people are really loving you and Charlie Barrett.
01:40Even Wall Street's got a boner for you guys.
01:42Really? The market's up?
01:43No, it's flat, but not down to straight up for us at this point.
01:47Madam President, we have received word that Chinese hackers
01:50have now breached the National Security Council's servers.
01:53I got a great idea. Why don't we give the Chinese their own logins and passwords, okay?
01:58Save everybody a lot of time.
02:00Ma'am, the FDA is monitoring a salmonella outbreak at a Missouri chicken farm.
02:05Got a few foul questions. What?
02:07Also from the comms department, multiple mentions of tomorrow's trip
02:11to the Museum of Natural History in New York City with Mr. Charlie Barrett.
02:16Huh. Not bad. Phone?
02:20Oh, listen to this.
02:21Charlie says O'Brien won't go down on his wife without biscuits and gravy.
02:27Hey, can you show me how to find on Twitter
02:30those tweets where people were gushing about me and Charlie?
02:33Oh, yeah. Using this button right here.
02:35Okay, so listen. Certification is tomorrow.
02:38I mean, seriously, do we have any reason to think
02:41that we're not as fucked as the Senate page here?
02:44Actually, ma'am, I'm sorry I'm late. I think I may have found something.
02:47The voting data in Nevada is multiple standard deviations outside the means.
02:52Guys, Kent, know your audience.
02:54I think that there is statistical evidence of missing ballots in Nevada.
02:59Where?
03:00I do not know.
03:01How many?
03:02I do not know.
03:03Are you sure?
03:04Absolutely.
03:05Graydon Carter is begging for a photo spread of you and Charlie Barrett in Vanity Fair.
03:09Hey, Garfield, we're right in the middle of talking about Nevada, okay?
03:12Kent, what can you tell us?
03:14I might be able to pinpoint the vote anomaly
03:17if I could break down confounding variables using an intercept model.
03:21What Alan Turing is trying to say is
03:23if there are missing votes, he needs time to find them.
03:26All right, then we have to delay the certification or the recount.
03:30Exactly my thought, ma'am.
03:33I can have the lawyers file an injunction.
03:35Bob, what do you think?
03:37I think it's a weak case.
03:38Let me just take a meeting with Jim Whitman.
03:41And after I'm done dick-slapping him,
03:44he will have agreed to delay certification.
03:47Amy, set it up.
03:48The injunction or the dick-slapping?
03:50Christ, Amy, the meeting.
03:52All right, then I have to start chumming the media waters.
03:55I want you to get me on the horn with Ned Mitchell
03:58from the Las Vegas Gazette
04:00and Susan Bailey with the Reno Star.
04:02Amy, set it up.
04:03Sue Bailey, the Reno Star, everything.
04:06Madam President, who would you say would be your best person to be at that meeting
04:10if not my number two?
04:11I could... Richard?
04:13Oh, ma'am.
04:15Hey, listen, I need to talk to Bob privately,
04:18so everybody get out, please.
04:20Even...
04:21Uh-huh.
04:24Bob, I'm going crazy here in D.C.
04:28I just, I feel trapped, like a Saudi housekeeper.
04:32Is there any way I could get to Nevada?
04:36Just let me win the presidency for you,
04:38and then you can land Air Force One on the strip
04:41and piss in Caesar's fountain if you want.
04:43Oh, come on, please, Bob, I would never stay at Caesar's.
04:46Yes? What?
04:48Ma'am, weekly CIA briefing.
04:50See? Grabby Stan's calling.
04:52That's what I'm talking about. I'll talk to him later, though.
04:55Catherine, do not use any of the vulgar parts.
04:57Yeah, but that's like all of it, Mom.
04:59Well, then don't use it.
05:00But it's a doc.
05:02A what?
05:03A documentary.
05:05Then say that.
05:08Uh...
05:14Never heard back from you.
05:17Late night?
05:19Sophie told you?
05:21What?
05:23No.
05:25Gross.
05:28She didn't tell me she worked for CBS.
05:31Oh.
05:33Oh.
05:35This is too good.
05:36Dan, Sophie doesn't work for CBS.
05:39She works for CVS.
05:42You sold your dick for bulk iced tea and off-brand cough syrup.
05:46Don't worry.
05:47You're gonna look really cute in a blue vest.
05:52I'm not having a good year.
05:56Unfortunately, ma'am, the man we captured is not, in fact, Abdullah Saeed.
06:01Do the Israelis know anything about this?
06:03Because they're a sneaky bunch of fucks.
06:06Excuse me one second.
06:12So, uh, Mike McClintock?
06:14Tonight for 8.30.
06:17Sorry, Kent.
06:18Salt and Moon?
06:19New restaurant?
06:20Impressive.
06:21How did you secure a reservation there?
06:23Well, Sue uses my name for her POTUS reservation,
06:25so when I call, I get an amazing table.
06:28I'm back on food.
06:30Doctor says the cleanse caused no lasting damage.
06:35That POTUS is tweeting?
06:37I'm the only one who's supposed to send her tweets.
06:40Ha, ha, ha, at real Charlie Baird.
06:42Here's one for you now.
06:44The president is tweeting.
06:46She's tweeting.
06:52I'm sorry.
06:53I just have to go in.
06:54The president asked me to...
06:55I can't let you in, sir.
06:56I'm sorry.
06:57Please, Marjorie, please.
06:58I have to talk to the president.
06:59Let's head back.
07:00Look, please.
07:01Oh, no.
07:03Uh, ma'am.
07:04Yes?
07:05It turns out our prisoner's name is Abdullah Faheed,
07:09a local schoolteacher.
07:10What is he doing?
07:13What is that?
07:14It's me.
07:15Hi, ma'am.
07:16If you hear this, do not tweet.
07:18Please.
07:19Mike, what are you doing?
07:21You tweeted.
07:22What?
07:23About O'Brien.
07:24It wasn't nice.
07:25I just direct messaged Charlie.
07:26No, it was public.
07:28Everybody saw it on Twitter.
07:29No, they didn't.
07:30What did you tweet?
07:31What?
07:32It was just some funny joke.
07:33I was just making...
07:34It was...
07:35I pushed that feather button.
07:36I know.
07:37You tweet.
07:38That's a tweet.
07:39That's a tweet.
07:40Well, then delete it.
07:41Delete it.
07:42It's impossible.
07:43Just delete it.
07:44Delete it.
07:45Hey, hey, hey, hey.
07:46What?
07:47Not here.
07:48Okay.
07:51Gary, I did it the way you showed me to do it.
07:54But that's not the way I showed you to do...
07:57That's exactly the way that you showed me to do it.
08:00Do you want me to show you again?
08:02I'll tell you what I want you to do.
08:03Nothing.
08:04Okay?
08:05That's your punishment.
08:06Get out.
08:07Okay, I'll just go make some tea...
08:09You better not.
08:10The Swedish prime minister just retweeted your tweets with an LOL.
08:16Well, what the FOL are we supposed to do about this?
08:19I suggest that we disavow the tweets.
08:21Phones are hacked all the time to steal pictures of celebrities' penises and whatnot.
08:26Oh, my God.
08:27Hold that thought, Kent.
08:28Madam President, are you sure you did this?
08:31What do you mean, am I sure?
08:33Well, you know, maybe the White House computers aren't as secure as we think.
08:37You know, maybe the firewalls have more holes in them than a gold digger's diaphragm.
08:41My God, I hated those things.
08:44Wait a minute.
08:46There was a breach earlier today.
08:49Oh, my God.
08:50And maybe that breach concerned those tweets.
08:53Maybe it did.
08:55Oh, my God.
08:56And maybe you had nothing to do with it.
08:58Oh, my God.
09:00In that case, China would be blamed for your messages going public.
09:06Maybe.
09:07So is that what I think happened?
09:09That China tweeted this?
09:11Oh, no, no, ma'am, no.
09:13You have no idea what happened.
09:15And neither does Mike, who would be outraged by this.
09:19Actually, ma'am, I have a better idea.
09:21No, you don't.
09:22Mike History's proven that.
09:23Now, let me just run this by Bob and see if he thinks blaming China's a good idea.
09:28This can't leave this room.
09:30Can or can't?
09:31It cannot.
09:32Mike, why don't you just tell the truth?
09:36I don't sound like that.
09:37That's exactly how you sound.
09:39No, I don't.
09:40Spot on.
09:41Yeah, it's pretty close.
09:42I don't know where you get that impersonation.
09:44Ma'am, look.
09:45You have to make a decision now.
09:47I mean, can I really blame another country for something they didn't do?
09:52It's been the cornerstone of American foreign policy since the Spanish-American War.
09:56This morning, the White House cybersecurity was breached by what the NSA has come to believe was a hack that originated in mainland China.
10:06Mike, Mike, what about the president's tweet about Senator O'Brien?
10:10The president was horrified, horrified by this latest violation of cybersecurity.
10:17The president believes cybersecurity is paramount for the United States' future survival.
10:26Kent, any progress on the ballots?
10:28I've eliminated eight counties as potential locales, but there's no way around my doing a district-by-district regression analysis.
10:36Are we paying you by the word here, Kent, or what, Ben?
10:39Well, he needs more time.
10:40Ma'am, we got O'Brien on a live feed.
10:42Oh, boy.
10:43Well, we knew this was coming.
10:44Let's hear it.
10:45I will not dignify the president's petty remarks with a response.
10:49And yet he's responding.
10:50I do, however, want to point out that over 29 million people suffer from various forms of diabetes.
10:58Oh, who cares?
10:59What truly troubles me, however, is President Meyer's timid response to a clear act of aggression.
11:07Did you just say that?
11:08Okay, we're going to have to do something about China now.
11:12No, you don't, ma'am.
11:13I need to look strong.
11:14If we lose Nevada, O'Brien is going to kill us in the house over this China thing.
11:20In reality, ma'am, China...
11:22In reality? I know reality, Ben.
11:24You're the one who suggested we all live in the Matrix.
11:27Ma'am, nobody chose to live in the Matrix.
11:30What?
11:31The machines rose up and placed humans in the Matrix so they could use them as a biological power source.
11:36Well, who's side were you on?
11:38What about targeted sanctions?
11:40That will send a message of real strength, won't it?
11:43Or we could go to the United Nations and have them issue...
11:47Have them what? Have them help us park in front of a fire hydrant? I mean, come on.
11:52Ma'am, your focus now should be on Nevada.
11:54I'm President, in case you forgot.
11:58I know what I should focus on.
12:02Sorry, ma'am.
12:07Jesus, you're still here.
12:09I don't know why. My only job seemed to be asking Bob and finding out what Bob thinks.
12:14Yeah, it's been pretty fun to watch.
12:17So, you want to grab a drink or something?
12:19No, thanks.
12:21Oh, but on your way, would you mind stopping at ABC News and picking up some Advil?
12:26Oh, did I say ABC News? I meant Rite Aid.
12:28Yeah, you know, I think you're forgetting something, Amy, is that I still had sex with your sister.
12:32So, good night, have a pleasant evening, and I had sex with your sister.
12:38You might actually want to go to Rite Aid.
12:40Get some Valtrex.
12:48Dan?
12:58Hello?
12:59Oh.
13:00Bob, didn't know you were still here.
13:02Yeah, when's the meeting?
13:04The Whitman meeting's tomorrow afternoon.
13:06You might want to go to your hotel and get some sleep.
13:10No, I've got some more work to do.
13:12You have a good one, Jamie.
13:20Mike McClintock, I have a reservation.
13:22The McClintock party has already been seated.
13:25That's impossible, because he's Mike McClintock.
13:28Show me your driver's license.
13:30I can't find it.
13:31Again?
13:33Uh, where exactly is the McClintock party?
13:36Right over there.
13:39This is my table.
13:41And this is my Fat Johnson, and you can suck it as long as you promise not to put your dirty gay mustache on it.
13:47What is that, some kind of side effect from your AIDS medication, or did you shave it off of Freddie Mercury's corpse?
13:52Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to enjoy my bay scallop gateau.
13:55You, you're a bald jerk.
13:57Pardon me, Mrs. Furlong.
13:59Jesus, you think I married that?
14:02That's Will's wife.
14:03Hi, Mike, it's good to see you.
14:05This is my wife, Mary.
14:07The congressman was kind enough to take us out to dinner on our anniversary.
14:11Hello.
14:12I guess Will likes a mold.
14:14Why don't you fuck off back to Burger King?
14:16Happy anniversary.
14:18Hi, Wendy.
14:20Christ, she looks like a Batman villain.
14:23What dope he get you for your anniversary?
14:26And when I'm president, we will defend our digital borders just as diligently as we defend our physical ones.
14:37Yeah, can I get a secure line?
14:42Bradley.
14:43Bob, oh God, I hope I'm not waking you.
14:45No, no, I'm always awake.
14:47Wait, so this China thing.
14:50They did hack us.
14:53But they didn't exactly hack my Twitter account.
14:58Say no more, Madam President.
14:59Oh God, I knew it. I knew you would understand, Bob.
15:02It is so nice to finally be talking to a professional here.
15:05This is how I see it, okay?
15:07If I'm soft on China, I'm going to get killed in the house.
15:11Your instincts are telling you you should be strong.
15:13Yes.
15:14You think my instincts are right?
15:16Does a bear piss in the shower?
15:18You should lead.
15:19I'm the leader.
15:20You caught the fish, now gut the fish.
15:22Gut the fish.
15:23You're wearing the fireman's hat.
15:24Now put out the fire.
15:26Yes, this is better than phone sex.
15:28Well, I just came.
15:30Forget threatening sanctions.
15:32I should call on Congress directly to levy them.
15:35That's a bold move, Madam President, and one that will only earn you respect.
15:39Bob, thank you so much.
15:42Well, I'll be around for the next five to six hours if you need anything else.
15:48That is why today I am announcing a set of unilateral sanctions,
15:55starting with the freezing of all assets associated with the Chinese state-sponsored cyber espionage apparatus.
16:06Madam President.
16:07Madam President.
16:08Madam President.
16:09Madam President.
16:10Madam President.
16:13Well, that seems to have shut O'Brien up.
16:17That's not my problem.
16:19Absolutely, ma'am.
16:20Right.
16:21Hey, Amy.
16:22You all set for today's meeting?
16:24Ma'am.
16:25Have you noticed?
16:27Please back up your face, Amy, okay?
16:29Back it up.
16:31Have you noticed anything weird about Bob?
16:34He was acting a little off last night.
16:36Well, it's just Bob being Bob.
16:38I know what this is about.
16:40Amy, you know that you are very important to the campaign, right?
16:44No, Amy, listen.
16:46You are doing a great job.
16:48A great, great, very good job.
16:52Ben, tell Amy what a great job that she's doing.
16:55One heck of a job, Amy.
16:57If the Eagle told you that the Eagle was acting odd, would you listen to him?
17:01Yeah.
17:02You got to trust the Eagle.
17:03Why?
17:04Did he say something to you?
17:07Is everybody's cell phone off?
17:09Yeah.
17:10Those things cause cancer, you know.
17:12That's what I hear.
17:13Good to see you, Bob.
17:14Good to see you.
17:15Been a while, huh?
17:16Yeah, it has indeed.
17:18I think the last time was at your ski cabin with your wife.
17:22I still got the cabin.
17:27So, Bob, neither of us have time to waste with the certification so close.
17:31What's on your mind?
17:33What we have here is a classic thumb-in-the-apple-pie situation.
17:37Grandma is mad as hell.
17:39Look, Bob, Bob.
17:41We all know you're as folksy as a butter-churned lamp.
17:44But let me cut to the chase.
17:46From where I'm sitting, my boy's ahead.
17:49If you're here to beg for more time, take your cup and cane elsewhere.
17:54Hold that thought.
18:10God, this is gorgeous.
18:12I know.
18:13Is this guy from India?
18:14I don't know. Did you get it?
18:15It's just all of this just screams Grace Kelly.
18:17I know.
18:18Charlie is gonna flip.
18:19I don't like my eyes so.
18:21What?
18:22Yeah, I feel like I've got two diaper bags underneath, you know?
18:25No, no, no.
18:26Oh, God.
18:27I need my ring.
18:28Okay.
18:30Oh, Bob.
18:31Evening.
18:32Hi. You're getting ready to go to the Whitman meeting, right?
18:35There's never been a Whitman sampler I couldn't take apart piece by piece and shed out, Madam President.
18:40I'd love to hear that.
18:42Okay, you're hanging on to me like a skintag.
18:44Hey, you know what?
18:45Could you go and tell Charlie I'll be like just a couple minutes?
18:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:48Like, thank you very much.
18:49So, listen, I talked to Kent and he really needs as much time as possible.
18:53So, whatever you could do to buy more time to delay the certificate.
18:58Bob?
19:00Bob?
19:01Are you all right?
19:02Can you hear me?
19:03Bob?
19:04Is there someone in here?
19:06What?
19:07What is this?
19:08Bob?
19:09Is Richard there?
19:12Bob, are you okay?
19:14Oh, fuck.
19:15You know what?
19:16I wonder, I think maybe we should delay the meeting.
19:20Oh, not a chance, Mr. President.
19:22I'm locked and loaded.
19:24Madam President.
19:25A lady president?
19:26Yeah, maybe in the year 2000.
19:29Bob!
19:30Oh, my God.
19:31Jesus Christ!
19:33Mr. Barrett.
19:34Mr. Barrett.
19:35I'm so sorry.
19:36Excuse me.
19:37I know everybody's waiting, but she just texted and she's running a little bit late.
19:40You sure she just texted or did she tweet the entire world?
19:44It's okay.
19:45She's not here.
19:46All right.
19:47Well, then let's just sit down.
19:48Where are you going?
19:49It's fine.
19:50It's fine.
19:51She won't care.
19:52Howard, would you do me a favor and slide over for my pal?
19:54Sure.
19:55I don't know if this is such a good idea.
19:57It's 250 grand.
19:58I bought the table.
19:59Sit down.
20:01Gary is a key member of the Meyer administration.
20:04That's so kind of you.
20:06You have a card?
20:08No, just a bag.
20:10Guys, something is deeply wrong with Bob.
20:13I mean, I'm talking like blood in the urine wrong.
20:15Yes, that's what I've been trying to tell you.
20:17No, not now, Amy.
20:18Okay?
20:19Just focus on this.
20:20Amy, this is really bad.
20:22Oh!
20:23Hello, ma'am.
20:24What's bad?
20:26Can I tell Amy and have her tell you?
20:28Jonah, just speak.
20:29What is it?
20:30Ma'am, I've been trying to get Mr. Bradley on the phone with Ned Mitchell from the Las Vegas Gazette.
20:35Right.
20:36Ned Mitchell died in 2006 and the Las Vegas Gazette stopped publishing in 2007.
20:41Oh, my God.
20:42I was able to get in touch with Susan Bailey at the Reno Star, which is not a newspaper.
20:48It's a legal brothel, but she did seem excited to help the campaign in whichever way she could.
20:53Jesus Christ, ma'am.
20:54I'm so sorry.
20:55He just seemed like the same old Bob to me.
20:57Ma'am, this morning he told me the Jews caused hurricanes.
21:00He just went into this Whitman meeting, you guys.
21:03What if he takes a shit on the table or something?
21:06Ma'am, at his age, if he can take a shit whenever he wants, that's a major victory.
21:10All right, Amy, this meeting cannot make it past the school book depository.
21:14I'm loading my gun and heading to the sixth floor.
21:16Well, then go, go, go!
21:17Ben, don't hang up.
21:19I've got to tell you something.
21:20Oh.
21:21Bob knows there wasn't a Chinese hack.
21:25I think I might have told him.
21:27Well, don't worry, ma'am.
21:29We'll get him on the first flight out of Nevada, and we'll shove his ass out somewhere over Oklahoma.
21:37Alzheimer's or no, I image-searched Susan Bailey, and she is legit fuckable.
21:42Hi, this is Dan. Leave a message.
21:44Shit. Same too.
21:46Honestly, her rates were reasonable.
21:48This is Richard Splitt, and I'm here to say you should leave a message for me every day.
21:53Richard, come on.
21:54Hey, your number?
21:55Can you go any faster?
21:56Amy, if you would rent me a Sebring, yes.
21:58Just go, go, go!
22:02This is like that famous scene from the movie Heat.
22:05You know, De Niro and Brenneman.
22:08Just thinking about that scene gives me goosebumps.
22:12The fuck is going on?
22:14Look, Mr. Whitman, sir, I'm sure that Mr. Bradley will be right back, um, very soon.
22:23You know, I'm just gonna step out, make sure that Bob doesn't need anything.
22:27Be right back.
22:32Good evening, everyone.
22:34Before we start, I would like to acknowledge the chairman of tonight's dinner,
22:38and a long-time generous benefactor of this unique institution, Mr. Charles Barrett, Jr.
22:48Thank you, Steve.
22:51I'd like to say dig in, but my date is running late.
22:56President's, right?
22:57Well, hopefully she arrives before we all turn into fossils.
23:03Why is nobody answering their phones right now?
23:05Hang on, ma'am, I'm gonna try Dan again.
23:08Hey.
23:09Dan, you're on with the president.
23:10Dan, are your ears on mute?
23:12I've called you like 80 times.
23:15You're on with the president.
23:16Sorry, ma'am.
23:17Whitman made us turn our phones off before Bob walked out of the meeting.
23:20What do you mean, the meeting is over?
23:22Well, no, but that didn't stop the eagle from flying out onto the street and getting in a cab.
23:27Yeah, turns out he's nuttier than a squirrel's diaper.
23:30Tell Jonah to shut the fuck up.
23:32If the meeting's still going on, who's with Whitman?
23:34Richard.
23:36Oh, thank God.
23:38Hate to say, I told you so.
23:40Shut the fuck up, Jonah.
23:43Mr. Splatt, where's Bob Godley?
23:46Honestly, I was gonna ask you that.
23:48Do you mind if I get a picture with you from my blog? Let's talk about Splatt.
23:54Tell the eagle it was great to see him, and at 6 p.m. tomorrow, every vote in this state will be counted and certified.
24:01Well, not every vote.
24:03Funny thing about elections, historically, they've always been leftover ballots.
24:07Historically, they've always been leftover ballots.
24:09Sometimes up to 16% end up missing or being thrown out.
24:13Is that what this is about?
24:15I'm so sorry for...
24:17The missing ballots in Washoe County.
24:19We looked all over for them, came up empty, so best of luck to you.
24:23And if you do happen to find as much as one new vote, we'll see you in court.
24:32Holy bacon double ass burgers, how did you do that?
24:36Sorry, what?
24:37Amy, what are your top five favorite De Niro movies?
24:41And you can't say Meet the Parents, because that's automatically number one.
24:44Kent, it's Washoe County.
24:46Don't ask me how I know.
24:48Kent, get the Justice Department on this, okay?
24:51You give them their statistical whatever-it-is to narrow it down, right?
24:54You mean my data narrative matrices?
24:56Yeah, the datas.
24:57Amy, is there any sign of the eagle, or is he crossing America on a lawnmower?
25:01Ma'am, we really ought to get someone in court right away to file a Hail Mary injunction to extend the deadline.
25:06Someone who can stall until we find the ballots.
25:08I already thought about that. I got it covered.
25:11So the lady-in-waiting came over to us, and she said,
25:15Her Majesty thought perhaps you would like to see her crown.
25:19Imagine, a shy kid from Birmingham, Alabama, and the Queen of England.
25:24Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.
25:39His Majesty the President of the United States.
25:41Aw, thank you.
25:45Look at that.
25:46That's sort of a great woman in a dress, isn't that something?
25:50Yeah, hi!
25:51Feeling good in Nevada.
25:52Misty in Nevada.
25:53Hi!
25:55You look fantastic.
25:57Yeah, I needed a drink.
25:59Indeed I do.
26:00Everybody, please sit down.
26:02I am so excited to hear all about the, uh...
26:06Stegosaurus, the armored plant-eater.
26:08Degasaurs that are Gary. Mm-hmm. I dropped my lipstick somewhere between here and the motorcade
26:15Okay, I got one right here. No go get that one. Uh-huh. So what did I miss?
26:20We just heard a lovely story about the Queen of England. Yeah, she's a fucking cunt
26:25You didn't hear it from me
26:30We're still searching for the vote so we need you to stall Amy
26:33I respect the sanctity of this courtroom far too much to stall. This is a simple and straightforward case
26:41Although in many ways, that's what makes it so complicated
26:45You see that's could do that
26:48The court will hear the matter of Meyer v
26:50Nevada a motion to delay certification before we begin I would love to define a few key terms
26:58vote
26:59What is a vote?
27:02Well, I think that's pretty obvious oh, is it your honor in many cultures the word vote can mean a myriad of
27:10things
27:11It can mean a celebration
27:14It can mean a dance around a fire. It can mean a
27:18silent nod in
27:20This room. What does it mean?
27:24Any news on creaky McGee? Seriously, we've got to find Bob
27:29How beautiful you look and check
27:32What about the Nevada State Police ma'am? There's nothing never mind. We got him. What where is he?
27:39Here. Good morning. Hi, Bob
27:44Hi, I am so happy to see you what kind of soup do you have today?
27:50Um, what kind of soup is on your mind?
27:55Well, what is today?
27:59First it's Thursday Thursday. Yep, Navy beam
28:06Ma'am
28:08Hey, Bob Bradley, nice to meet you, sir. They found the ballots seriously. Yeah
28:16Excuse me, Bob
28:19Breaking news out of Nevada acting on a tip u.s. Justice Department deputies found an estimated
28:2510,000
28:26uncounted mail-in ballots from last week's presidential elections in the house of this man
28:3254 year old u.s. Postal worker Vance Otlow look at this guy had grown more erratic
28:38Following post office closures last year by the Meyer Postal Commission
28:4310,000 from a district with an empirically high applied demography value
28:50I don't know what you're saying, but you keep doing that math stuff Kent no matter how much anyone makes fun of you
28:56Okay, all right. Listen Karen has got to get those ballots admitted, right?
29:01She will or she won't Amy. I know the last couple of days have not been ideal
29:07To say the least ma'am
29:09I just want you to know that I could not have done it without Richard and I want you to please
29:15Relay my thanks to him. I'll get right on that. Oh
29:20Ma'am from our ambassador in China as I feared the Chinese are responding to your threat of sanctions
29:26Can I not have just one minute to enjoy this?
29:29I'll ask the Chinese
29:32Your honors I have just been informed that
29:35Uncounted ballots have been discovered in Washoe County. I'd like to move that those be included in the recount
29:42Objection the deadline is already passed your honor. How is counsel defining deadline and past?
29:49your honor objection
29:53The deadline will be extended until we can hear on this matter
30:01After today's stunning turn of events in Nevada
30:04The president has asked Bob Bradley the Eagle to return to Washington as her new cyber securities are effective immediately
30:13Also, the State Department is reporting the Chinese government announced a series of measures aimed at the u.s
30:19new restrictions on American imports into China
30:23freezing of u.s. Investment funds in China a
30:28Ban on all foreign adoptions by American citizens a
30:34Bunch of other stuff
30:39I don't know
30:45Call my wife
30:49Another wasn't some days nice and cool. Yeah, it's nice a lot of supplies here. This is mine, huh? Oh, yeah. Oh boy
30:58Here we go. Eagle your new nest. Yeah, I don't think my cell phone's gonna work here. No, good luck
31:08Thanks, but fucker