Veep Season 4 Episode 7 Mommy Meyer
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00:00Please don't make me go to work today, I'll fake my own death.
00:18You don't have the cheekbones for depression, what's the matter?
00:21The workload, the spotlight, getting hammered on the family's first bill.
00:26People hate that thing.
00:28Yeah.
00:29They saw it like a punched wedding cake.
00:31And the president wants me to start getting the media calling it the Meyer bill.
00:35But they've decided to call it the Mommy Meyer bill.
00:38My job is impossible.
00:41Take this fork, stab me right here in the carotid.
00:44You are the most influential mic person in the world.
00:48The president won her first debate thanks to you.
00:51Guess what?
00:52There's two more.
00:53And the next one's foreign policy.
00:55That's basically a quiz on the entire world.
00:58How do I prep for that?
00:59Listen to me.
01:00You're gonna shake it off, alright, stiff up her lip, put on a happy face, and have
01:05the best day of your life.
01:07Thank you for the pep talk.
01:08I'll see you...oh shit.
01:13Happy birthday.
01:14I'm sorry I didn't have time to get you anything.
01:16I'm gonna try after work.
01:19Love you.
01:22I live on a regular street in real America with real trees and real cars.
01:30We do have real cars on my street.
01:33I'm not sure what a fake car would be.
01:40I should be president or something.
01:43If he doesn't drink in the morning, he will now.
01:45Oh God, you know what I should have brought up?
01:47That rumor about O'Brien's daughter blowing all those hockey players in college.
01:53That would have been a mistake.
01:54Huge mistake.
01:55It was lacrosse players.
01:57Ma'am, your dinner guests are confirmed for tonight.
02:00Oh, your relaxing evening is locked in.
02:03Goodie, I cannot wait.
02:05I'm getting the old gang back together.
02:07Back in the 90s, us ladies totally owned Annapolis.
02:10We really did.
02:11Gang?
02:12You all have tattoos?
02:13No, it's just a bunch of lawyers from my old firm.
02:16You know.
02:17How did you get into this gang?
02:18Did you have to kill a guy?
02:21You can pardon yourself now.
02:23You know, actually, as women, we really did get it done.
02:26Plus, we had tits and ass, so we had the whole thing going for us, really.
02:31There's been a shooting in Pittsburgh.
02:33Four dead, including the gunman.
02:37Well, that's fucking not good.
02:40We pray for the families.
02:41Yeah, and that they don't demand more gun control.
02:44It says here the gunman was an ex-marine.
02:46Two sides of the coin.
02:48That's very sad.
02:50Hey, Sue, get Mike to draft his statement.
02:52He's got a thoughts and prayers template.
02:55Right away, ma'am.
02:57Oh, should we keep watching me?
03:00Yeah, sure, sure.
03:08See, when I left the White House, I never thought I'd be lobbying for Concrete.
03:12Great, isn't it?
03:13Oh, by the way, I set us up with two brunches and a lunch for tomorrow.
03:18God, I already have two breakfast meetings tomorrow.
03:20If I keep going at this rate, I'm going to have gout up the mouth.
03:23Uh, ladies, you are going to be our sale bait.
03:27Um, by sale bait, you mean independent, well-educated young women like you,
03:32who also happen to be very hot to lure congressmen into the room
03:36in a way that is deeply feminist.
03:39We then introduce our client, who makes his sale in a way that's deeply capitalist.
03:43I'm not expected to do anything with anyone, am I?
03:47This is lobbying. This is respectable profession.
03:50Um, do me a favor, go see Linda over there.
03:53She has some slightly tighter blouses that you can choose from.
03:57So, you two ready to go hard for Concrete?
04:00Yeah.
04:01Hey, why are there so many security and military people on the list of this Concrete event?
04:06Are we at war with clay?
04:08Amy, what does the military buy a lot of?
04:10Oh, I know this. It's candy.
04:12Cute. It's Concrete, okay?
04:14The military guys along, they talk congress into stumping up money for a Mexican border wall
04:19made of Concrete. Circle of what?
04:21Serving several of our clients' agendas all at once.
04:24God, I love this.
04:25Yeah, I know. Me too.
04:26It's so slutty, isn't it?
04:27This place is like a porn shoot with bunting.
04:32God, kill me now.
04:34Good morning, good morning.
04:37Okay, let's get this party started.
04:39Uh, the Mommy Meyer bill. Is it doomed?
04:42First off, it's not the Mommy Meyer bill.
04:44It is the Family's First.
04:46No, it's the Meyer bill.
04:48And it's about as doomed as my donut habit.
04:52Shall we talk about Family's First, please?
04:54Yeah.
04:55I'm afraid he's getting crucified on the hill.
04:57Just like that Jesus guy.
04:58Well, it's my big bill.
05:00You think I'm just gonna say it doesn't fit and put it up on Craigslist or something?
05:03Brian just said, if Family's First is passed, the whole concept of family will come to an end.
05:09It's a dream, certainly, but I'm not sure we'll achieve it in this generation.
05:12I don't care if O'Brien hates it. It's for the people and they love it.
05:15Yeah, yeah, yeah, except no.
05:18I'm sorry?
05:19I hate to be the I'm-in-touch-with-the-normal-guy guy, but I am that guy.
05:24And they want to pay for their families and not other people's.
05:28That's not helpful to me.
05:29What?
05:30What's going on? Holy shit.
05:32Ma'am, there's an intruder.
05:33Oh.
05:34We need you to remain here.
05:35What? Okay, I mean, okay. I mean, what?
05:38I had not anticipated this. This I had not anticipated.
05:41Well, that sounds like the world's worst Dr. Seuss book.
05:44Flexible hours benefit everyone. This is a common-sense piece of-
05:48Intruder. Everyone stay calm. Stay exactly where you are.
05:52Okay, lockdown. Nobody move and nobody gets hurt.
05:55Shouldn't we be on an elevator to a secret bunker by now?
05:58There is no elevator or bunker.
06:00Why isn't there an elevator to a secret bunker?
06:02Jesus Christ, Bill, you're shaking like a dog shit in a peach pit.
06:06I actually think I should have a gun.
06:08I'm not making a joke. I really would like to have a gun.
06:11Okay, what about us? Is there a panic room or something?
06:14Gary, every room you're in is a panic room.
06:16We need to find a safe room.
06:17Intruder! Intruder!
06:19Intruder! Oh my God, shit got real! Shit got real!
06:22Shit got real!
06:23Calm down. What are you doing?
06:25It's a weapon.
06:26What are you going to do with a clock? Tell him he's late?
06:28That's the all-clear, ma'am.
06:29Really?
06:30Well.
06:31Wow. Okay.
06:32Thank you, gentlemen.
06:33Thank you, gentlemen.
06:34Okay. Bill, excuse me. I'm going to go breathe.
06:37Yeah. Did you hear all that shouting?
06:39I did.
06:40What was he saying? Did you hear what he was saying?
06:41Who cares what he said? The guy's nuts-o-bismol.
06:44What was he saying?
06:45He said, uh, let me up. I want to kill Tom James and that bitch.
06:51He comes here to kill me and he doesn't even know my name?
06:55He may have been talking about Kent.
06:58I gotta take a gigantic whiz, man. Siege stuff goes straight to my bladder.
07:03It's like if dogs could talk.
07:05Okay, Senator, I am going to set up your town hall meeting. I'll see you there.
07:10Oh, good. More adrenaline.
07:12God almighty. Wow.
07:15How are you doing?
07:16I cannot believe that somebody came here to kill me.
07:22And you.
07:23Yeah. Yeah.
07:25Yeah.
07:26Still, you know, you've got good people around you.
07:30Yeah.
07:31Holy hell. I saw him. The guy.
07:34You did?
07:35I was face-to-face with him and I was like, back off, man. Don't mess with this.
07:38Really?
07:39I've got so much adrenaline in me.
07:42I know. I do, too.
07:43It's like I've got to do something.
07:45Can you get me a coffee?
07:46Yeah. Yeah.
07:47An Irish coffee.
07:48Yeah.
07:50Do you want something?
07:51I'm good.
07:52Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:54He's been with me a long time.
07:55Has he?
07:56Yeah.
07:57I see.
07:58Yeah.
07:59Hey, Kim. Hi, where are you?
08:01Can we make sure that the flags are symmetrical to the backdrop?
08:04It looks a little bit off.
08:05That shirt really compliments your figure, by the way.
08:08Nice little compliment for you.
08:10I'm loving this. This is great.
08:12Yeah, we're killing this.
08:14Hey, Lighting.
08:15What?
08:16Hi, how's it going? Can we bring these down just a little bit?
08:18Okay, maybe that's a little bit too much drama.
08:21So maybe we just bring those back up just a little bit.
08:24That looks great.
08:25Yeah, mark that.
08:27That's exactly how it was, dumbass.
08:29Okay, well, we don't need that kind of language, but thank you.
08:32One, two, three, four.
08:35Hit me with the plosives.
08:37Bring back my pig.
08:41I'm happy with that.
08:42Yeah, that sounds great.
08:43I don't want to pat myself on the back.
08:45This is a great idea on my part.
08:48Getting out of the office, going on the campaign trail.
08:51Yeah, help you forget about being molested.
08:53That's loud. I'm sorry.
08:55Yeah, well, no, it's just that everybody thinks we're awesome here.
08:59We're West Wing. We're like gods.
09:01Mr. Ryan, did you get my sashimi?
09:03No, sir, I will get it right now.
09:06It needs to be at room temperature.
09:08Otherwise, it just tastes of cold.
09:10Yes.
09:11Sashimi.
09:14Are you hearing this?
09:15Sushi.
09:16Listen to the shs and the mes.
09:20Wait a minute.
09:22What are we laughing at here?
09:25Someone sure put a lot of effort into that.
09:33I don't get it.
09:35Oh, duck.
09:36Because I ducked.
09:38Very clever. Very funny.
09:40I'm laughing, too.
09:43Yeah.
09:47Mom, some days you get an award from a country I've never even heard of.
09:51Then other days people try to kill you.
09:53People probably try to kill me most days, sweetie.
09:55You just have to shut it out.
09:57Hey, I've got the menu for tonight's dinner with your friends.
10:00I do love tasting menus.
10:02It's so nice to be able to look at a list of food and say I'll take all of it.
10:06No, I just want to hang back and have a loose night with the ladies.
10:11Okay, so let's just get pizza.
10:13How about a play on pizza?
10:15We could kind of lay it out.
10:16No, uh-uh. No.
10:18Or we could do an anti-pasta.
10:20And we could do a deconstructed pizza.
10:22Okay, you know I almost got assassinated today, right?
10:24Yeah, you did.
10:25So I just need you to do what I'm telling you to do.
10:29Uh-huh.
10:31Guys, I want you to meet Aiden Grant.
10:33He's the gentleman that won the previous Mexican border fence contract.
10:36Wow, you must be very happy and rich.
10:39Yes, I am.
10:41So of course he would like to win the new one,
10:43which means he needs to speak to Congressman Martin,
10:45but not his obvious erection.
10:48Uh, yes.
10:50Oh, it'll be 20 years younger, eh?
10:52I would be in diapers.
10:54Oh, snap!
10:56I can't wait to see the keys to jump in before it becomes an actual assault.
10:59I think we missed the window.
11:00Congressman, I can see you are as excited about the advancements in concrete technology as we are.
11:05I would like to introduce you to Mr. Aiden Grant.
11:11Look, it's like this.
11:13There is a link, there is a proven link between the lack of education and poverty,
11:17between poverty and crime.
11:19Families First will break that link.
11:22He's nailing it.
11:24Like Streisand hitting a high C.
11:26My God, where were you born? Lake Homo?
11:30After the shootings in Pittsburgh this morning,
11:33do you think that it's time for some stricter gun control?
11:38Reaction is easy.
11:40Understanding is hard.
11:44Wasn't the shooter also a victim?
11:49Well, we're talking about an ex-Marine here,
11:51someone whose mind was maimed in the service of his country.
11:56Ben, Tom James has just said the shooter is a victim too.
12:00PTSD.
12:01Oh, my God!
12:03Calamity James, and that's just off the top of my head!
12:06Well, what do I do?
12:07Just get him off, you fucking mannequin!
12:10Jonah!
12:12Get him to stop.
12:14Get him to stop talking.
12:15I'm not saying I don't condemn what happened.
12:18I do.
12:19Condemnation on its own...
12:20What the fuck are you doing?
12:21It looks like you're telling him to straighten his tie.
12:23What I'm saying is, we need to understand...
12:27Are you guys okay?
12:29Are you trying to hitch a ride?
12:31No, you're good.
12:32What the fuck, dude?
12:34Yeah, yeah.
12:36If we're gonna take anything...
12:39We could play some ex-music,
12:41or maybe push the button that drops the balloons.
12:43Shit, that's a great idea.
12:44Drop the balloons. Do we have balloons?
12:46No, that was just an example.
12:47Why the fuck did you bring up balloons if we don't have that?
12:50I was brainstorming.
12:52Ma'am, press are primed.
12:54Good.
12:55So, I thought I would open with this.
12:57I thought I would say,
12:58so I'm in the firing line for the second time today.
13:02Hilarious, ma'am.
13:03Yeah, I know, it's not that funny.
13:05It's just my voice.
13:06I always end up sounding sarcastic.
13:08Oh.
13:09Gary!
13:10Gary!
13:11What?
13:12What?
13:13Don't let her go out there!
13:14What?
13:15What, is there something wrong?
13:16I said don't let her go out there!
13:18Jesus!
13:20Come with me.
13:21Tom James just shat his mouth off into his foot.
13:24Let her up there for a minute,
13:25and then you gotta go up there and take the heat.
13:28Madam President,
13:29can you quantify what level of danger you were in?
13:32I always feel as if I'm in more danger
13:34when I'm in front of you guys.
13:36This is the second time I'm in front of the firing squad today.
13:40I'm certainly very grateful for the rapid response
13:44of the Secret Service.
13:46They got rid of the intruder.
13:50Silently.
13:52So, moving on.
13:55These job figures for this quarter
13:57are very encouraging folks.
13:59I'm quite pleased with that.
14:03Unfortunately, that is all the time I have.
14:07Mike?
14:08Yeah?
14:09I'm gonna duck out for now.
14:14Got me.
14:15Yeah, I did.
14:16So you can take over, you bozo.
14:19We have a good time here, don't we?
14:22Mike, I'm just hearing that Tom James has said
14:25that the shooter in Pittsburgh is as much a victim
14:28as those he murdered.
14:29Do you support that view?
14:32Obviously, what is clear, that our view
14:38is we don't support that view.
14:44Let's start with putting the senator's words in perspective.
14:49Okay?
14:54Words don't kill people, unlike guns,
14:59which can and did, which is bad.
15:04It's so bad.
15:06I could go on.
15:09Congressman Reese is practically blind.
15:11He's gonna have to flirt close and flirt big
15:13or, you know, do some kind of braille thing.
15:15I've got a degree in political science.
15:17I'll be fine.
15:18Yeah, a lot of good. That's a good idea.
15:20Tom James just sympathized with that Pittsburgh shooter
15:23and in doing so has blown his political brains out.
15:26Yeah, he just made an enemy of every stupid person with a gun
15:29and there are a lot of those.
15:31If we don't do something about this,
15:32our gun and security clients are gonna start to wonder
15:34why it is the hell they pay us so much money,
15:37which is bad because I need them to pay me
15:39and not try and shoot me in my sleep.
15:40Look at this asshole's already got me in his sights.
15:42Hi, asshole.
15:43Okay, well, we just put him on camera
15:45and he can criticize Tom James for sympathizing with murderers,
15:49stops us from being involved in any unhealthy gun debate.
15:52Very well done.
15:53You might be the smartest woman I've ever paid for.
15:55You know what? I'm on this. Already done it.
15:57Oh, man, I am really enjoying this sibling rivalry between you two.
16:01I'm trying to figure out what that makes you to us.
16:04Daddy.
16:06I gotta call you back.
16:07I was dying out there.
16:09It was out of my control.
16:11So there are situations within your control?
16:13All right, Tom James is a loose cannon
16:16and it looks like I chose him at the last minute,
16:19which I did, obviously, but people can't know that.
16:22Well, I am not Merlin, okay?
16:24I don't have a magic car or whatever he had.
16:26I can't tie a ribbon around a crazy guy who supports crazy guys.
16:30You'll tie a ribbon around Elvis' sagging, rotten ball sack
16:34if we ask you to, Mike. That's your job.
16:37I'm just saying, don't rake me over the coals for this one, okay?
16:40Tom James took a crap all over America.
16:42Why do I gotta grab the shovel?
16:44I'm not a shit cleaner.
16:46It's your job.
16:47Yeah, that's what you do.
16:48You are the shit shoveler.
16:49Shit shoveler, okay.
16:50Well, some shit doesn't get off.
16:52What?
16:53I don't know what that means.
16:54Oh, sorry.
16:55And why is everybody calling my family's first bill
16:58the Mommy Meyer bill all of a sudden?
17:01You told me to connect your name to the bill.
17:06What is the tone that you're using right now?
17:09It's been a shitty day, ma'am. I apologize.
17:12Uh-huh.
17:13You asked me to call it the Meyer bill.
17:15Uh-huh.
17:16The press has recently found it amusing to call it the Mommy Meyer bill.
17:22Well, kill the mommy, okay?
17:24Because it's making my bill toxic.
17:26It's like they took the word brain tumor and changed it to selenocysts.
17:32Uh, ladies and gentlemen, if I may, I'd like to read a short statement.
17:36Actually, no, I'm...
17:38No, I'm not going to read this.
17:41I'm going to speak from the heart.
17:43He's going freestyle.
17:44God, that is so fucking gangster.
17:46My dad always used to say to me,
17:49you do something wrong, you got to try to make it right immediately.
17:52Well, there's nothing I can say that's going to help the loved ones of those victims.
17:56But I can say, and I will say, that I am...
18:01I am truly, truly sorry if I have added to their grief.
18:14Well, I can say that that felt good.
18:16Because, obviously, it felt terrible.
18:18But it also felt good.
18:20That's great.
18:21Excuse me.
18:22Yeah, sir.
18:23Awesome and amazing.
18:24Had a baby and it grew up to be you.
18:26It's like words are your second language, sir.
18:29Well, thanks for the feedback.
18:31Sean Ryan.
18:32Oh, yeah.
18:33That's the name that keeps popping up.
18:35Well, I'm a popular guy.
18:38Richard T. Splett.
18:40Don't know why I said T.
18:41My middle name's John.
18:43But I'm Mr. Ryan's executive assistant.
18:45So, you're this guy's veep?
18:47Kind of, yeah.
18:50Well, nice to meet you guys.
18:52Hey, we should have you apologize for all our screw-ups.
18:55Hurricane watch out, Leon West detention, the data breach.
19:00Oh, yeah, that thing with the HIV girl.
19:02No, the...
19:03Yes.
19:04Yes.
19:05Wow, that HIV girl.
19:10Wait, if I didn't know better, I would suspect that there was another data breach.
19:19Really?
19:24I mean, there isn't.
19:26No, I would know about it.
19:31Listen, you guys, you want to ride back to D.C.?
19:34It would be so great to hear some stories from the front line, you know?
19:37I'd love to, but do I have any meetings?
19:39No, no.
19:41Are you sure there aren't any?
19:43Oh, there's one...
19:46Okay, good. Cancel it.
19:48Oh, but it wasn't important.
19:49Ah, it wasn't.
19:53So, here's the thing. Tom James just apologized.
19:56Well, how did that go down?
19:57Surprisingly well. Like vodka and cereal.
20:00All right, so what, did we lose the gun guy?
20:02No, no, keep the gun guy.
20:04Gun guys don't like it when you take things away from them.
20:07But it has made me realize that Tom James talked about mental health issues today.
20:11Well, let's get someone to jump on those.
20:13And do we have any mental health charities on the books?
20:15We do, but they don't pay very well.
20:17However, this is Alex Berry from Gemmel Pharmaceuticals and Brooke Heimer.
20:22Oh, hi.
20:24So, what is a big pharma guy like you doing at a concrete event like this?
20:29Well, construction brings builders, builders bring sex workers, and sex workers bring STDs.
20:36It's a virtuous circle.
20:38Hey, ma'am, don't sue me, but your lawyer friends are here.
20:42Oh, my God!
20:46Hello, Madam President.
20:49You are hotter than ever.
20:51I know.
20:52What do you use, like rhino horns or monkey glands?
20:57All of the above.
20:59Plus, I have my whole face done.
21:01No, I didn't really have any surgery, Debra. I didn't.
21:04I haven't had to do it.
21:06Okay, this is slow gin, and it's a gift from the British ambassador.
21:10Oh, how fancy.
21:12It's booze, you old booze hound.
21:15Actually, I have been sober for five years and four months.
21:20Oh.
21:22Well, I have been sober for 27 hours, so let me take that off your hand while I jump off the wagon.
21:33Can I get you, like, a Shirley Temple or a Roy Rogers?
21:36Just Coke, Sprite, something like that.
21:39A little soda.
21:42Benjamin, you wanted to see me. Is this where I get whacked?
21:46Oh, no, sir. This is where we all blow you because you were so freaking great.
21:54All I did, I just wouldn't.
21:57How can anybody not love him? He's like your dad, except he's nice.
22:01What the fuck are these guys doing here?
22:04Every player needs to roll with the crew, Ben. That's the truth from the street.
22:09Officially my worst day.
22:11Well, in that case, welcome to Friday night drinks.
22:15Do you guys have drinks every Friday?
22:17Only for the last five years.
22:19Well, I never thought to tell you for unaccountable reasons.
22:22Anyway, you're here now.
22:25I like my bourbon like I like my women, 18 years old and wet.
22:30I'm more of a white Russian man myself. Take that.
22:33Have a seat.
22:36Not there.
22:38I wasn't going to.
22:40Okay, so what are we drinking to?
22:42More shit.
22:46When is the last time when all of us were together?
22:51Anna's wedding.
22:52That was 20 years ago.
22:53Oh, no, it was five years ago.
22:55What?
22:56I remarried.
22:59Oh, okay.
23:01Well, that doesn't surprise me.
23:03Yeah.
23:04He finally come out?
23:06He died.
23:09Oh, I am so sorry.
23:14I'm not.
23:15I mean, he wasn't gay.
23:17He was just an asshole.
23:19Uh-huh.
23:20Can I swear in front of you now?
23:22No, you fucking can't.
23:28Okay, dinner.
23:29Let's do it.
23:30Dinner at the White House.
23:32What are we having?
23:33Wait till you see.
23:35Beautiful room.
23:36It's pizza.
23:39Pizza.
23:40Just like the old days, guys.
23:42Yeah, when we couldn't afford anything else.
23:46Yeah.
23:47Oh, God.
23:48So tired of these big banquets, you know, six courses.
23:52Enough.
23:53Yeah.
23:54What's for dessert?
23:55A tub of ice cream and four spoons.
23:59Yes.
24:00Oh.
24:02Any other psychotic things that we need to know about you?
24:08Maybe we should sterilize everyone in New Jersey.
24:11Good idea.
24:12I'm in favor of assisted dying for anyone who talks in a movie theater.
24:16Forward thinking.
24:17And I think we should legalize drugs.
24:20Oh, yeah.
24:22Yeah, I'll get the bong.
24:24No, no, no.
24:25That last one.
24:26That's actually not a joke.
24:32Set it up.
24:33Knock it down.
24:34Tom James.
24:38I'm serious.
24:40I believe we should legalize drugs.
24:42I haven't seen what my son has been through.
24:44I think it's the only way.
24:46Fuck my face.
24:48Okay, well.
24:50This gets out my life's hell.
24:52Guys, come on.
24:54Everybody, calm down.
24:56Yeah, let's just smoke a doobie and pop some ludes.
24:59So, Debra, give us some updates on your life.
25:02I do a lot of pro bono work now.
25:04Oh, good for you.
25:05Yeah, you know, family disputes, school exclusions, that sort of thing.
25:09Look at us.
25:10We're working it from both ends.
25:12How so?
25:14Um, well, because I'm about to pass this legislation.
25:18Family's first?
25:20I'm very proud of it.
25:26What do you guys think of it?
25:28Well, that's not everything you want it to be, obviously.
25:31Because they put all those amendments on it.
25:33I think it's in pretty good shape.
25:35Yeah.
25:36I mean, I think it's going to make a big difference in people's lives.
25:39Uh, perhaps you haven't thought through the tax margins properly.
25:43We have the finest economic minds working on the bill.
25:49Thank God.
25:50Because tax law was never your strength.
25:52I've really, I've really read up about it a lot.
25:56What's 15%?
25:58What's 15%?
26:00I don't want to talk about politics anymore.
26:03No, you're right. You're right.
26:09She can't have wine.
26:11Oh, I'm so sorry.
26:13Remember the dude ranch?
26:16Remember the dude ranch?
26:18Oh my God.
26:20I heard there was pizza.
26:22Oh, look who's here.
26:24How about that? Do you remember Catherine?
26:27Do you recognize her?
26:28She lost all her baby fat.
26:30Yep.
26:32Listen, I'm not going to tell everyone what I think.
26:37She said it wouldn't last ten seconds in a men's room.
26:40But between us, I think honesty is the best policy.
26:44Sure. Absolutely.
26:46Oh, in that spirit,
26:48maybe somebody can now kindly tell me what the fuck is this other data breach?
26:56Uh, Kent? Bill?
27:00I don't care. I'll tell you.
27:02Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa there, Trigger.
27:04Mike, you're a spokesman. You're not supposed to say anything.
27:06The Meijer campaign used the health records of dead children
27:09to target and appeal to voters who were recently bereaved parents.
27:13Jesus.
27:15Susie, huh?
27:19Seems like the party has hit a quiet point.
27:23It's not really as bad as it sounds.
27:27You know, those kids have been dead for a while.
27:33You know, I could kick over chairs and scream,
27:37how in the risen fuck did this happen?
27:41What's the point? It's done.
27:43I say we move on. Together.
27:46Magnificent seven.
27:48He's really good.
27:50It's because there's seven of us.
27:51I met his politician.
27:53I know.
27:54Let's go and move forward to even more shit.
27:57To even more shit.
27:59To even more shit.
28:00Did you see Tom James meet the press?
28:03Oh, yeah. I'd like to press his meat.
28:07He's sexy without knowing he's sexy.
28:10And that's really sexy.
28:12If he was selling families first, I'd buy it for sure.
28:15Really?
28:16I believe in him.
28:18I believe in you, too.
28:20It's just that the office of the president is a really difficult job.
28:25I'll tell you what's really difficult.
28:27It's really difficult talking to you now that you're sober.
28:32That's tough.
28:34Okay.
28:36Wow. I am sorry, but I am tired.
28:40I would love to keep this party going for...
28:45But...
28:47Thanks for having us.
28:48Oh, yeah. Thank you very much.
28:50You're eating ice cream? Really?
28:52She's eating ice cream, Gary?
28:54I mean...
28:55I just had a bite.
28:56Men, intrude her in the grounds.
28:58This is a lockdown.
28:59You have got to be shitting me.
29:01Gary, it's the same one. He's doing a victory lap.
29:04I shook Jack Nicholson's hand and I thought if this hand could talk,
29:09he would say, wash me.
29:12Right, because of all the sex stuff.
29:14Okay, everyone, this is a lockdown. Stay here. Do not move.
29:18They're just going to keep coming and coming until they kill us.
29:21This can't be happening.
29:23This is classic copycat.
29:25Yeah, no, it's classic copycat.
29:27It's just like me, just then, you know, it's classic copycat.
29:31Okay, we are in lockdown. This is a lockdown.
29:37All right, everybody, it's that time.
29:39What time is it? It's stop.
29:41Raffle time. Get those tickets out.
29:43Yeah.
29:44The lovely Kimberly over here is going to pull the winning ticket out of the cement mixer,
29:47which I thought was a nice touch.
29:48Is lobbying always like this?
29:51I have a funny sinking feeling it might be.
29:55If you don't win a prize, don't worry about it.
29:57We're going to fire up the shirt candle one more time.
29:59Yeah, yeah.
30:01All three swag guys have some fun.
30:05I wish the intruder would just kill me.
30:07Well, if the intruder kills you, Mike, then who's going to announce your death?
30:12You OK?
30:14Your face looks kind of like a sad egg.
30:17I think I'm a fraud.
30:20I'm not good at my job.
30:22This story about the emperor and the new clothes.
30:25I'm the emperor.
30:28No, I'm the clothes.
30:32I'm the guy who will fuck this government.
30:35Come on, Mike.
30:37Hey, at least you got your hair.
30:40Oh, my God. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
30:42Oh, honey, you need water. You need water.
30:44I got to do something.
30:45Can somebody help her?
30:46These people are only here to protect me, I'm afraid.
30:49Are we going to be OK?
30:50You're going to be fine.
30:51The only person who's interested in killing you, Deborah, is here in this room.
30:56That was a joke. You know, you can't see my face, but I'm actually making a joke.
31:01Put that back.
31:03Put it back.
31:05Jesus Christ.