Veep Season 5 Episode 8 Camp David
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00:00Take the apple, Mrs. Sherman!
00:16Reach out and take it!
00:17Sir Ryan.
00:18Take the apple!
00:20Sir Ryan, would you please step back to your podium?
00:21She wouldn't take the apple.
00:22It was an endearing gesture.
00:23Which one of you Johnny Apple Dick shit-for-brains came up with that bit?
00:27Good night, ma'am.
00:28I just arrived here in winter blunderland.
00:30You look like Ike Turner handing Tina a snack.
00:33Well, I think we've identified the key problem, which is that Jonah does not interact well
00:38with humans.
00:39No, I don't interact well with hag-ass old bitches.
00:41Do you realize that you just handed O'Brien, New Hampshire, chain to a radiator with its
00:47twat shaved?
00:48I'm hanging up!
00:50I'm sorry, Mom.
00:51You know what?
00:52I'm on the positive side now.
00:53I can just try and concentrate on our little family weekend.
00:57Just us Meyers.
00:58Well, then why is Gary here?
01:00I mean, no offense.
01:02Gary's family, too.
01:04Oh, thank you.
01:05I'm just really excited to have this time for you and Dad and Monty to get to know the
01:10real Marjorie.
01:11I mean, fun Marjorie, not just Marjorie, the Secret Service agent.
01:14Oh, I'm excited to get to know fun Marjorie, too.
01:18When is she arriving?
01:19I'm just kidding.
01:24I'm just teasing.
01:25The President is arriving!
01:26Oh!
01:27How about that!
01:28Look!
01:29Oh, Dad!
01:30Monty!
01:31Look at that!
01:32All right, so the Chinese are gonna be here any minute.
01:43Beijing has demanded complete secrecy.
01:45So you're going to have to keep Charles Ponzi and Pussy Riot away from me.
01:49We Myers are very resourceful.
01:52You do know you're not really a member of my family, right?
01:55I do.
01:56Right.
01:57What is that insanity you're putting all over the tree, Monica?
02:02Oh!
02:03This is my homemade cranberry and popcorn tinsel that I like to call...
02:07Popcorn-a-mix!
02:08Someone's been reading my comments!
02:11I just trademarked the word last week.
02:13It sounds delicious, and it's adorable, so I'm going to call it Delorable.
02:17See?
02:18We can all do it.
02:19Um, Mom?
02:20Yes?
02:21I just wanted to let you know that Marjorie's a raw food vegan, and she's turned me into
02:25one.
02:26Oh!
02:27So that's two things she's turned you into.
02:28Yeah.
02:29Yeah.
02:30We, um, we just thought maybe we could have, like, a sham ham for Christmas.
02:32Oh.
02:33What is that, sweetie?
02:34Is that, like, tofurkey?
02:35Uh, no, ma'am.
02:36Tofurkey is cooked.
02:37This is a raw log made of mushrooms and soaked walnuts.
02:40But it tastes like a ham?
02:41Yeah, it's close.
02:42Not at all.
02:44We could all cut back on our meat consumption.
02:45I'm terribly sorry, Marjorie.
02:47I thought you were Selina.
02:48That's okay, sir.
02:49People make that mistake constantly.
02:51How about you touch neither of us?
02:53Okay, I'm going to go check on that funky food order, and—
02:57Mom, I wanted to ask you about something, but I—I can just talk to Dad about it.
03:01He's better with money stuff.
03:02What?
03:03Money stuff.
03:04Well, it's just that there's so much of it that it's really tough to know what to do
03:09with it, you know?
03:10I mean, Uncle George was saying that maybe I should sell the Palm Beach house so that
03:12I could pay off his state taxes, but even then I—
03:14No, no, no.
03:15Palm Beach house, honey.
03:16That was my daddy's favorite house.
03:18Actually, Leigh, right now is a fantastic time to sell.
03:21And Catherine, do you remember that Brazil hotel chain?
03:25I told them about your veganism, and they decided to convert the whole thing to an eco-resort.
03:30No, they didn't.
03:31I have a prospectus in my briefcase, if that's something you would—
03:34I'll tell you what.
03:35I think we should not talk about money during our sort of pre-Christmas Christmas celebration.
03:41Catherine and Marjorie, can you gals go outside and get some wood to start a fire?
03:46Ma'am, your daughter's dazzling eyes can start a fire themselves.
03:49Okay, well, that's terrifying, but I actually do think we need to get some wood from outside.
03:54Yes, ma'am.
03:55Thanks.
03:56Gary, we gotta go.
03:57Yep.
03:58Okay, are the Chinese here yet?
04:00Delayed on the road, ma'am.
04:02Presumably driving slowly and not using their signals.
04:05Hey, any updates on Debra Lee's sonogram?
04:07Nothing.
04:08I'm going crazy.
04:10What do you got going there, Depravy Crockett?
04:12You can't go in with a plan, the knife tells you.
04:15Okay, so, lay it on me, Ben.
04:17It's all been pre-negotiated, ma'am.
04:19In exchange for you lifting the sanctions, China's agreed to build an electronics plant
04:22in Ohio and an engine assembly plant in North Carolina.
04:25North Carolina.
04:26Okay, so we get North Carolina, Ohio.
04:28That's the presidency for me.
04:29And as per usual, we raise the issue of Dalai Lama and the Panchen Lama returning to Tibet.
04:34Dalai Lama.
04:35I'm so sick of him.
04:36Oh, he's insufferable.
04:37Do we have a press release ready to go, Mike?
04:39All I gotta do is press send, and we...
04:41Actually, I do need to spell check this thing.
04:44Ma'am, Minna Häkkinen is through security and headed this way.
04:47How is it that that assburger salad inserted herself into this situation?
04:51President Lou Trusser likes what she did with the IMF.
04:54I'll tell you what he likes.
04:55Nordic beef.
04:56Irresistible.
04:59What?
05:00Oh.
05:01Minna!
05:02Selena.
05:03Hello.
05:04I have not seen you since you failed to vote for me to be head of the IMF.
05:07And, oh, you changed your hair.
05:10Yes, I had more highlights.
05:11And you changed your eyelids.
05:13You had oculoplasty.
05:15Um...
05:16You look more alert.
05:17Yeah, I was...
05:19Well, the latest poll numbers are in, and you've fallen 20 points behind the widow Sherman.
05:23We have to keep you away from people.
05:26Yeah, surround you with some trees.
05:28Make you look human-sized.
05:30Yeah, back to the natural habitat your nitwit mother found you in, you fucking shaved Sasquatch.
05:36Uh, but good news is that you're only three points behind John H. Ryan, whoever that is.
05:40Hey, Slick.
05:42What's Blondie's situation?
05:44Does she choke for coke?
05:48You should ask her.
05:49Yeah.
05:51It's been a very hard year.
05:53The menopause has really taken a hold of me.
05:55Is that so?
05:57Yes, you know...
05:58You're menopausal.
05:59What?
06:00You're menopausal as well.
06:02No, I'm not.
06:03Well...
06:04No.
06:05What?
06:06No, you are.
06:07No, you're older than me, so I think that's probably...
06:10No, I'm actually two years younger.
06:12Oh, I still have regular periods, but my joints are very swollen.
06:16You know, I wonder if we could just get back to the Chinese.
06:19The Chinese may try to change the terms of the done deal.
06:22Really?
06:23Yes.
06:24Oh, I...
06:25But if they do this...
06:26Yeah.
06:27If you're ready to perform the walkout,
06:29do you convince the Chinese that you will not negotiate
06:31if the terms of the deal are not satisfactory?
06:33OK.
06:34You say, the terms are unacceptable,
06:36then you take both your palms and you place them firmly on the table like that.
06:41Oh, God.
06:42Then you walk out.
06:43And then someone must say, this is unprecedented.
06:46She never does this.
06:47Ben can do that.
06:48Oh, me?
06:49It is much harder than it sounds.
06:51Perhaps we should rehearse?
06:53Absolutely.
06:54Unacceptable.
06:55And then I walk out.
06:58No, that is not credible.
07:00You try again.
07:01This is unacceptable.
07:04No.
07:05You see, that's the same, but it's just louder.
07:07She never does this.
07:08Oh, no, that is good.
07:09Now, that is convincing.
07:11Hey, girlies.
07:12Mom?
07:13Yes, honey?
07:14I want you to open your gifts,
07:15since technically it's early Christmas Eve.
07:17I got you something.
07:18What do we got here?
07:21Oh.
07:22It was used in 1907 at the Second Hay Convention.
07:25I figured you could use it to sign important peace treaties
07:28when you're officially elected.
07:30It's actually lovely, Catherine.
07:32Amex gave me this crazy new card that's made out of black metal.
07:36It truly shows the special mommy-daughter bond that you and I share.
07:44I have an idea.
07:46Marjorie.
07:47I have an idea.
07:49Marjorie, why don't you open my gift?
07:52Oh, you got Marjorie a gift.
07:54Marjorie's part of the family now, aren't you, pal?
07:57Yeah, I got Marjorie a gift, too.
08:00My carry?
08:01Yeah.
08:02Yeah.
08:03It's the...
08:04Stuck in security.
08:05Stuck in security.
08:06I don't know how that happened.
08:07I got the tracking number.
08:08Okay, let's see what you got.
08:14Ah, it's an old book.
08:15You like it?
08:16I am overcome with emotion.
08:19Oh, my God.
08:20It's a first edition Gertrude Stein?
08:23That's Marjorie's favorite poet.
08:25How did you know that, Dad?
08:27I listen.
08:28I want to put this on my special.
08:30Hey, hi.
08:31I noticed two golf carts filled with Asian people.
08:34Yeah, we should go.
08:35That's the kitchen crew and the chef.
08:39They wear really nice suits.
08:41Yeah.
08:42Okay, I want to go find Marjorie's gift.
08:44Me, too.
08:46So, I will make the introductions.
08:48Yeah.
08:49You are wearing that.
08:50What?
08:51Yeah.
08:52Oh.
08:53Welcome, friends.
08:55Long time no see.
08:59Hello.
09:00This is President Lu Xiaojian.
09:03Okay.
09:04As the Secretary General of the Communist Party of China.
09:07Thank you for traveling to our country.
09:09And I'm the head of the People's Republic of China.
09:11This is Zhang Shengqi.
09:12Hello.
09:13Very nice to meet you.
09:15This is Xiao Jingtong.
09:16First breakfast.
09:17Hello.
09:18Very nice.
09:19Okay.
09:20I'm glad that you're here.
09:21I appreciate that.
09:23I didn't get any of that, except strawberries.
09:26Off gifts.
09:28This is a depiction of the most popular children's cartoon character in China, Sad Piglet.
09:34It looks just like my daughter, Catherine.
09:36Your daughter is a beautiful woman, and this is Piglet.
09:41Oh, no, no, no.
09:42Sad.
09:43I love it.
09:44Believe me.
09:45If you say Sea World to Catherine, you will understand what I'm talking about.
09:50This is just lovely.
09:52Thank you very much.
09:53And now our guest.
09:55This is Silk Rope from the Qing Dynasty.
09:59The dragon symbolizes good fortune.
10:02Your generosity is overwhelming.
10:04And this is...
10:06Seriously?
10:07This is beyond what we imagined or prepared for.
10:13This is a tapestry from Qing Dynasty.
10:15The central image, the peony, is a symbol of royalty and fortune.
10:21This is exquisite, and I really hope that's all.
10:28And now our gift for you.
10:31This is an American geode,
10:36which symbolizes the solid foundation that we have between our two countries.
10:44And it sparkles like we hope our conversation will sparkle.
10:50Thank you for this rock.
10:54Oh.
10:59And this wine from Napa Valley, California.
11:07And this additional wine, also from a local vineyard in New Zealand,
11:15which is local to us, and it's also close to Asia,
11:21which makes it local to you, as we are all local friends.
11:27She is just being polite. President Liu does not drink.
11:31Oh, God.
11:32Sheng, there's a common saying here in America,
11:36but wait, there's more.
11:38So I would like to present our final gift to you.
11:43A very meaningful and historic pin from the Second Hague Conference of 1907.
11:53Gary, the box.
11:56Really?
11:57Yes.
12:02This is a very worthy gift.
12:04It is historically significant and apt.
12:07Gold is a very auspicious color for the Chinese.
12:10It signifies prosperity and good luck.
12:12Ah, great.
12:13You have the keys, then.
12:14Oh, I'm pleased, then.
12:15Great.
12:16And now they are discussing how casually you are dressed.
12:19Hmm?
12:20They say you look like a prisoner.
12:24But.
12:25A pirate.
12:26But.
12:28An exercise book.
12:31Why did Menopause not warn us that the Chinese were going to out-gift us like that?
12:36Our intel suggested they hated you.
12:38Yeah.
12:39Ma'am, Dan and Amy for you.
12:41What?
12:42Ma'am, Jonah shot himself in the foot.
12:44Oh, my God.
12:45What did he do this time?
12:46No, he literally shot himself in the foot.
12:49We're in the ER.
12:50Turn on CNN, ma'am.
12:51It's on right now.
12:52Turn on the thick, thick, thick.
12:54These are the woods where I used to hunt with my stepfather.
12:58And he taught me the proper way.
13:01Oh, Jesus.
13:03Oh, my God.
13:07Oh, my God.
13:09It's not funny, Ben.
13:11No, it's terrible.
13:13Stop it.
13:14We are.
13:15It's all over the place.
13:16No, Jonah shot himself in the eye with a rubber band in second grade.
13:20I tell him now what I told him then.
13:23Guns can be dangerous.
13:25We're all praying for his recovery.
13:26So lay it on me.
13:28How bad is it?
13:29It's a complicated fracture.
13:30Shattered some bone.
13:31They say it's going to take.
13:33No, not for him.
13:34For me.
13:35Right.
13:36Critical condition, but we're not throwing in the towel.
13:38All right, I'm not listening anymore.
13:40That's New Hampshire for O'Brien.
13:42We got to have those factories now.
13:44President Liu requests to go on a nature walk with you.
13:47Well, I'm the president.
13:48I don't walk.
13:49He is also the president, and he likes to walk.
13:52Ugh, I'll walk.
13:54Camp David is where President Eisenhower came to recover after his heart attack.
14:03Is he OK?
14:05President Eisenhower, he is dead.
14:08He's long gone.
14:09Now, this path was originally used by FDR for his morning stroll.
14:13Or rolls, I should say.
14:15Do you have more gum?
14:16Can I borrow a piece of gum?
14:19May I chew gum with you?
14:24Chinese gum, huh?
14:26Pretty cool.
14:27Never had it.
14:31Oh, wow.
14:32He's got a kick.
14:34Who knew?
14:36Thank?
14:37Oh, hang on.
14:39Not just a thing.
14:41Gracias.
14:42Sorry, no, no, wrong language.
14:44Well, we need to work together to better engage with North Korea
14:49because the North Koreans are people like us, except without any food.
14:55Hi, Mom.
14:56Oh, I'm so happy to see you.
14:58No, no, just to be clear, my girlfriend and I aren't just vegan.
15:01We're raw vegan, which means no meat, no dairy, and absolutely nothing cooked at all.
15:11OK, good.
15:13Mom, come back soon, OK?
15:15Monica's making some nutmeg soy butter.
15:17Oh, how wonderful.
15:20Chang, that was my daughter, and she obviously did not recognize you.
15:27She doesn't understand anything about global politics.
15:32My family is here as a cover story.
15:40No, but I didn't do that.
15:43I didn't make that face.
15:45Shall we carry on this way?
15:49Can you translate? We need to get a new translator.
15:52Marvin Gardens.
15:54You want it?
15:55Can I borrow 200 Monopoly dollars?
15:57Oh, everybody's still awake.
15:59Hey, how are you?
16:01Is that Marjorie's gift from security?
16:06Yes.
16:09Ma'am, you really didn't need to.
16:16Ma'am, this is stunning.
16:18Well, it's vintage.
16:23Yeah.
16:24Feels like it was woven out of Catherine's silken hair. Feel this.
16:28I thought you might enjoy something that was like her hair.
16:34Thank you. Thank you so much.
16:36Mom, I can't believe that. It's gorgeous.
16:39I gotta go to bed.
16:41Good night.
16:43You know that's government property, right?
16:46You just committed a federal crime.
16:53You gotta see this.
16:55Jesus, those are your pajamas?
16:57It's the outfit I picture when I'm trying not to cum.
17:00Who's that?
17:01Oh.
17:02Judy Sherman claims she's for New Hampshire.
17:05What is this?
17:06We need to be more careful.
17:08Gardens can be dangerous.
17:10On election day, tell Judy Sherman you care about freedom.
17:14What the fuck is going on?
17:16Look, it's everywhere.
17:17Sherman claims she's for New Hampshire.
17:20Oh, my God. Hey.
17:21We need to be more careful.
17:23Gardens can be dangerous.
17:25It's the NRA.
17:28It's a Christmas miracle.
17:34All right, well, I'm gonna get back to this, so I'll see you later.
17:38Okay, Kent, best guess, is New Hampshire back in play?
17:41Ma'am, I don't even use the colloquial phrase, I guess so.
17:45Get Dan and Amy right now.
17:47The Chinese already?
17:48She never knocks.
17:49Minna, I am right in the middle of something.
17:53Selina, do I need to remind you how sensitive the Chinese are to promptness?
17:56Why is my wonton soup so cold every time they deliver it?
18:00What?
18:01Minna, I'm in the middle of an international emergency.
18:06It's in the Middle East.
18:08It's in Kuwait, and that's all I can say.
18:10Kuwait?
18:11Yes.
18:12Well, that is so strange.
18:14Because Amir Al-Khabat and myself, we follow each other on Instagram.
18:17Only five minutes ago, he posted a picture of his dinner salad.
18:21Ah, well, it happened right after he had that salad.
18:25In fact, sort of an intermezzo emergency.
18:30I got Dan.
18:31Al Egan.
18:32Yeah, the ambassador to Kuwait's liaison.
18:36As-salamu alaykum, Dan.
18:38Okay, I will take them for a walk.
18:40Yeah.
18:41Yeah.
18:42Okay.
18:43Uh-huh.
18:45Okay, so now we love the NRA.
19:09The Chinese are very upset.
19:11They have changed the terms of the deal.
19:13Are you kidding?
19:14The Chinese request the United States drop its objections to China's claim of the Diaoyu Islands.
19:20How do I put this delicately?
19:22The Chinese were very disturbed by a recent incident.
19:27What incident?
19:29With your daughter.
19:31Oh, my God.
19:33Minna, seriously?
19:34That was a complete honest mistake.
19:36Catherine was just confused.
19:38But you are her mother.
19:40You did not stop her.
19:41How could I have stopped her?
19:43I had to let her finish.
19:46You're a mother.
19:47You've got a son.
19:48I'm sure you've done it before.
19:50You've been in this position.
19:51No, I have not.
19:52This happens occasionally in Iceland.
19:54But that was just an accident.
19:57What?
19:58What?
19:59This was their real demand from the beginning.
20:01I mean, those islands didn't come out of nowhere.
20:04Actually, they did.
20:05The Chinese created islands by piling sediment from under the sea.
20:08Madam President, you can't give them these islands.
20:11It'll destabilize the whole region.
20:13Will you please go and talk to Chi Cheng?
20:15I will try, but I don't know how much I'm going to be able to get his ear.
20:19All right, but what you're going to need to do is let him get a word in.
20:22Yes, okay.
20:23Well, you know what?
20:24This reminds me of negotiations between India and Bhutan.
20:26Okay.
20:27And then Bhutan was being junked.
20:29So I've got to go check on my other prom date, okay?
20:32I just...
20:33I'm sorry.
20:34Do you know where I can get any more of this amazing Chinese gum?
20:38It's nicotine gum.
20:40Oh, no.
20:51Well, that does not change the fact that our friends in Japan still have claims to the D.I.U. island.
20:58President Liu insists the drop-in objections must be part of any deal.
21:05Well, that is unacceptable!
21:07Unacceptable!
21:08Unacceptable!
21:09She never does this.
21:10I mean, I will storm out!
21:12Here I go!
21:17No way.
21:18It's unacceptable!
21:22This is not happening!
21:23In all honesty, she's never done this.
21:37I know two million sounds like a lot, sweetie.
21:40It's not.
21:41It's a small price to pay to save the Brazilian rainforest.
21:45Well, but aren't you cutting down the rainforest in order to build the resort?
21:49So we can conserve the rest.
21:52It's a virtuous cycle.
21:55I guess that makes sense.
21:56Hey!
21:57Hey!
21:58Hi, Mom!
21:59What are you guys doing all the way out here?
22:01Well, we can talk about this later.
22:02I'll leave the pamphlets on your pillow.
22:05Thanks, Dad.
22:06Emily.
22:07Lee.
22:09Okay, listen to me.
22:11If you want to get advice or talk about money, you can come to me, okay?
22:16I've got the whole treasury department.
22:18And they are, you know, they've been better.
22:22I realize, I mean, Daddy loves you, sweetheart.
22:27But he's a crook.
22:30I know.
22:31Right?
22:32Oh, excuse me.
22:34I don't mean to interrupt an intimate moment.
22:37It's just that there have been seismic developments in the negotiations.
22:41You have really rattled the Chinese leaders.
22:43Oh.
22:44Chinese leaders?
22:45Yes, Catherine.
22:46Seriously, Mom?
22:47I think he's going to use the gold pen from the second hate convention very soon.
22:50Okay.
22:51Your mother has given an amazing pen to the Chinese leaders.
22:53It's gold.
22:54She knows about that pen.
22:56You are so terrible.
22:59Catherine.
23:01Catherine.
23:02Okay.
23:03Sorry.
23:04Even labor and delivery with her was a nightmare.
23:06Oh, yes?
23:07Why is that?
23:08Do you have a very narrow vagina?
23:09Well, tight.
23:10In the States, we say tight.
23:11The Chinese economy is in a worse state than anyone realized.
23:15These sanctions, they are really crippling them.
23:17And Xi Jinping, he is a proud, stubborn man.
23:20Like a Chinese Mr. Darcy.
23:21But stupid.
23:23Also like a Chinese Mr. Bingley.
23:24I love Mary Poppins.
23:26So, if the United States lifts the sanctions and is prepared to meet their demands for industrial metals for the next 25 years,
23:34the Chinese might, might be prepared to discuss Tibet.
23:42Tibet on what?
23:44To talk about freeing Tibet?
23:46No.
23:47They are prepared to discuss a framework for talks aimed at a possible path to self-determination.
23:51I'm freeing Tibet?
23:53No, not free.
23:54Well, it would likely be one country, two systems similar to Hong Kong.
23:57That's it.
23:58Vano is going to have shit as sunglasses.
24:00That is like some man on the moon legacy shit.
24:04My God, Selina Meyer, the woman who frees Tibet?
24:09Not, no, really, not free.
24:11What about the factories in Ohio?
24:13Jonah's ahead in all the latest polls.
24:15Fuck those factories.
24:16Man, I'm freeing Tibet.
24:18Fuck it.
24:19Really, not free.
24:21It is, of course, tragic for the unemployed workers of Ohio and North Carolina.
24:25Well, they should have tried going to college.
24:27Worry about your own unemployment in Finland.
24:30We don't have unemployment in Finland.
24:32I'm going to win a Nobel fucking Peace Prize, you guys.
24:35Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:38Sorry, are you all right, Kate?
24:40And Tibet will have a new future.
24:43Sorry, sorry.
24:44Sorry, Kate.
24:45Hey, babe.
24:46How was the ultrasound?
24:49I'm sorry.
24:50It sounded like you said twins.
24:53Oh, my God.
24:54Oh, no, I'm twice as happy now.
24:58Hmm, who should I vote for, huh?
25:02Pow, pow.
25:04Who should I vote for?
25:06Even you can't taste that.
25:08I hope he votes for himself.
25:10Oh, I'm sorry.
25:12I need another ballot.
25:14I just need another ballot.
25:17Pow, pow.
25:19I don't want to talk to you.
25:22I want to tell you something, but it's very confidential, okay?
25:27Mommy is going to Free Tibet.
25:30I don't care.
25:32Katherine, come on.
25:33Honey, remember when you were little and you had that Free Tibet sticker and you put it up on the wall and we couldn't get it off, remember?
25:40Because you put it on wallpaper, inexplicably.
25:43Hey, Kate-Kat.
25:44It's me.
25:45Can I come in?
25:46Just you.
25:51Hey, baby.
25:53Well, yeah.
26:03Wonderful.
26:05Ganbei.
26:06Ganbei.
26:07Ganbei.
26:08Ganbei.
26:09Ganbei.
26:10Now, let us celebrate with a traditional Christmas feast.
26:15This is a culturally significant and traditional...
26:23Freedom log.
26:24Freedom log.
26:26Why don't we slice that up for everyone to enjoy?
26:30You know, we have a statement that is ready for release.
26:38There will be no statement.
26:40These are very delicate issues and cannot be rushed.
26:44Oh, yes, of course.
26:45I understand that completely.
26:48Although, perhaps when things are as significant as Tibet, things are accidentally leaked to the press so that the world may know of our accomplishments.
27:03You think it's okay?
27:07It would be very unfortunate if it also leaked that you lied to your country about our hacking of your tweets.
27:15That is ridiculous.
27:17Well, we have your e-mails to prove it.
27:22Okay, well, we can just wait for you guys to release the statement.
27:31Everyone.
27:34Mr. McClintock?
27:36Mm-hmm.
27:37Good news.
27:39Your adoption paper has been approved.
27:41You and your wife soon will have a Chinese baby.
27:45Congratulations.
27:49What is happening?
27:51Well, goodbye, Andrew.
27:53Katherine has any questions about the Brazil investment always available.
27:57I have a question.
27:58Is it actually an investment in Brazil?
28:01I can take this, if you'd like.
28:02Oh, thank you.
28:03Yeah, sure.
28:04Thank you for everything.
28:05Oh, you're so welcome.
28:06All right.
28:07Wheel's up in ten minutes on Marine One.
28:10Pick up the...
28:11Oh, hi.
28:12Hi, Katherine.
28:13Really?
28:14It's official.
28:15At 8.20 this evening, the widow Sherman conceded...
28:18Oh, ace to our fucking stuff!
28:20Jonah won the election!
28:21Well, it was just a small margin, but still counts as a sign of the apocalypse.
28:24Oh, my God!
28:25So Jonah's gonna vote for me, and I'm gonna be president!
28:28Jonah's gonna vote for me, and I'm gonna be president!
28:31I'm gonna call him!
28:32Hang on.
28:33He's right here.
28:34Oh, my God.
28:35Congressman Ryan!
28:37Hello, Madam President, or should I call you colleague now?
28:41I wouldn't.
28:42And I just want to let you know that I, Congressman Jonah Ryan,
28:46will personally deliver you the vote that delivers you the presidency.
28:50Well, that means so much to me.
28:52Ma'am, while I have you on the phone,
28:54New Hampshire is struggling with an epidemic of opiate addiction.
28:58I'm not gonna.
29:01Oh, good.
29:02That goes in my bag.
29:03Yeah.
29:09I can elect anyone in New Hampshire.
29:12I can elect a Muslim AIDS virus,
29:15a terrorist fucking AIDS virus,
29:18and the tiniest suicide vest ever made,
29:21I could make it governor of New Hampshire.
29:24New Hampshire.
29:25Wow.
29:26Wow, New Hampshire.
29:28Just...
29:29Oh, my God.
29:30I did this.
29:32We just elected Jonah to Congress!
29:36Looking around, I see so many familiar faces
29:39of people that supported me and believed in me.
29:43And I see a few that didn't.
29:45Like Jessica Thompson.
29:47Hey, Jessica.
29:49Jessica, I see you there.
29:51Yeah, it's been a long time since high school.
29:53I like what you do with your hair.
29:55You like what I did with my life?
29:58Jimmy O'Connor, I've been waiting 20 years to say this to you.
30:02Oh, my God, I did this.
30:03I'm not the spats.
30:05You just elected Jonah to Congress.
30:07I think that you are the spats.
30:10But through it all,
30:12there was one person who truly believed in Jonah Ryan,
30:17and that was Jonah Ryan.
30:19This is my dream,
30:21that you can believe in yourself so hard
30:24that you eventually become a congressman.
30:27Thank you, New Hampshire.
30:30Well, we're thrilled.
30:31Thank you, Congressman.
30:32Jonah is going to be sworn in with the rest of the freshmen.
30:36Yeah.
30:37Mom, I've come to a decision, by the way,
30:40about the Palm Beach House.
30:42Okay, Catherine, listen.
30:44I'm keeping it.
30:46Catherine.
30:47And I'm turning it into a sanctuary for rescued farm animals.
30:52What?
30:53Rescued farm animals.
30:54Yeah, I heard her.
30:55I think it's inspiring, Mom.
30:57You're taking my daddy's house
30:59and turning it into some club med for goats?
31:05Well, it won't be just goats.
31:06I mean, there's so much property
31:08that we were talking about all different kinds of animals.
31:11I mean, you could have ducks or...
31:13Like horses.
31:14Pigs.
31:15Pigs, pot-bellied pigs.
31:16Emus.
31:17Oh.
31:18And we could have horses as well.
31:20We could have peacocks, too.
31:22Can you do llamas?
31:23Oh, yeah, we could have llamas.
31:25Llamas.