The Jeremy Kyle Show (19 Jan 2017)
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00:00You are watching On Demand. Please do not try to vote or enter any competition or other interactivity in this programme, as it may not count and you may still be charged.
00:10On today's show...
00:15Owee thinks you're getting it elsewhere.
00:17My suble?
00:20On the way last night, you go, by the way, when we were on a break, I had it up with another man.
00:23Yeah, I sat with someone else, but he broke up with me.
00:25But, well...
00:26You're not with someone. You're not with someone. It's not cheating.
00:31I love you.
00:32Well, you kicked me out on the street. I was living off streets. You made me a homeless.
00:37Did you finish with her?
00:38No.
00:39You did. You kicked me out on the street.
00:40No, I wanted you back. I wanted you back and you knew that. I still love you at the time.
00:45You kicked me out on the street. You had another woman staying with you.
00:50This show is about all sorts of different stories, people's lives, and this is one brave girl.
00:54Talk about the abuse. What age did it start?
00:56Six.
00:59How long did it go on for?
01:01Till I was 11. I was five stone by the time I was 18.
01:06That's horrific.
01:07Why can you talk about the abuse in such a way?
01:09Well, I think it's because I'm a woman.
01:11I'm a woman.
01:12I'm a woman.
01:13I'm a woman.
01:14I'm a woman.
01:15I'm a woman.
01:16I'm a woman.
01:17Why can you talk about the abuse in such a cold, calculating way and yet looking at that makes you cry?
01:21Because I just can't believe what I've done to myself.
01:25APPLAUSE
01:45Hello, friends, good morning and a big, big welcome to the show.
01:48Now, you might just remember my first guest today from a quite unbelievable previous encounter.
01:54Take a look at this.
01:57Oi, bride-to-be, get out here now. Give her a round of applause.
02:05You know I have trust issues and I have told you that before.
02:08Yeah, where does that leave me?
02:10You know I love you to bits and I always will.
02:12Since the start of your relationship with Claire, have you had sexual intercourse with anyone else?
02:16Martin said no.
02:18Why did you say no?
02:19Telling the truth.
02:20He was telling the truth, ladies and gentlemen!
02:32Since the start of your relationship with Claire, have you had sexual contact with anyone else?
02:36You said no. Why did you say no?
02:39Telling the truth.
02:40Are you sure?
02:41He was telling the truth.
02:47Since the start of your relationship with Claire, have you passionately kissed anyone else?
02:51Your Christmas, your life, everything depends on this.
02:54Martin said no. Why did you say no?
02:56Telling the truth.
02:57You can marry him, it's a fall-out!
03:07Well, the not-so-happy couple are back in turmoil,
03:10because, check this, late last night on the way to this show again,
03:13Claire admitted she had sex with another man.
03:18But says, we were on a break!
03:20She says she's done nothing wrong and is here today desperate to save this relationship.
03:23She says, I've admitted that, I've done a test, there's nothing more,
03:26the wedding dress is ready, I love him, I want to marry him, I want to be with him forever!
03:31Claire's on the Jeremy Carr Show that way.
03:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
03:42Oh, we're dressed in black again. How are you?
03:44I'm OK, how are you?
03:45Well, I'm all right.
03:46So, last time, cos I'm getting old and my brain's not as good as it was,
03:49so last time, Martin, you didn't trust Martin,
03:51you're all dressed up, ready to get married,
03:53which Graham, by the way, wants to come to, I'm busy.
03:56And he passed and everything was lucky and, frankly, you nearly ate him on my stage.
04:01Why are we back?
04:02Because he's not getting any sex and I'm working seven days a week,
04:06I'm stressed out and he thinks there's other things going on.
04:10And when I slept with someone else, me and Martin worked together cos he broke up.
04:14Now, hold on a minute, rewind. So, he's not getting any sex?
04:18No.
04:19What, at all?
04:20No.
04:21Nothing wrong with that, Martin, I know how you feel!
04:24What does none at all mean? Cos you're like rabbits, you're at it the whole time.
04:28What's none?
04:30He's not getting any...
04:31None at all?
04:32No, because at the end of the day, I work six or seven...
04:35You just dropped a day, love, what's wrong with Sundays?
04:37Sunday, because I do two jobs. He's not working. So it falls off...
04:43Hold on a minute, you were saying you loved him!
04:45I do love him.
04:46Now cos you're working, you won't have it off with him,
04:48that's not very fair, is it?
04:49I'm too tired when I get home.
04:51Oh, why, doesn't he? Oh, he thinks you're getting it elsewhere.
04:54Most probably.
04:55But then, so you go, no, I'm not, everything's fine,
04:58I'm going to come here and prove everything,
05:00and on the way last night, you go, oh, by the way,
05:02when we were on a break, I had it off with another man.
05:04Yeah, I sat with someone else, but he broke up with me, he kicked me out.
05:07So why is he upset? When was this?
05:09This was last year.
05:10Oh, not last week, last year.
05:12This was last year, we weren't together for four months.
05:14Why didn't you only tell him when you came on the Jeremy Carter...
05:16Cos it doesn't matter, at the end of the day, we weren't together, right?
05:20It shouldn't matter.
05:21He's run off already, he's not... Why is he running off already?
05:24It shouldn't matter. If you're not with someone, right,
05:27it shouldn't matter if it's one time, two times...
05:30E-classes... Or a million times.
05:32You're not with someone, you're not with someone, it's not cheating.
05:34Yeah, but E-classes it as cheating, you don't, that's fair enough.
05:37What I don't understand is why you didn't tell him
05:39until you were coming here.
05:40Cos it doesn't matter.
05:41Well, Martin, can you do me a favour?
05:43Much as I'd like to run around and get an old,
05:45can you get out here, please, and hear the truth?
05:47Come on, hurry up!
05:49Martin, come on.
05:51Martin!
05:54There you go.
05:56Is he coming or not? Martin!
05:58Martin! Come on!
06:00Come on!
06:03Martin's not very happy.
06:05You have to explain to him.
06:08Martin's back on The Jeremy Kyle Show.
06:10Come here!
06:19Mike, I'm actually on your side this time,
06:21cos why didn't she tell you before?
06:23Cos we weren't in a relationship.
06:25Answer that, you weren't in a... Were you on a break?
06:27No, we weren't on a break, he told me it was over,
06:29he kicked me out, and guess what? What?
06:31He had another woman staying with him at the time.
06:33Oh!
06:35Did you have sex with her?
06:37No. He passed the test!
06:39I know he did. But it's interesting, isn't it?
06:41Oh, what? I love you.
06:43What, you kicked me out on the street?
06:45I was living on the streets, you made me a homeless, right?
06:48I got... cos I didn't know how to cope.
06:50No, I love you.
06:52And you blame me?
06:54Oh, dear, I can see where this is going.
06:56Right, we weren't together.
06:58OK, mate, mate, mate.
07:00Oh, God, let's go for a walk again.
07:02Come on!
07:04Here we go, walking round the building.
07:08Mate, come here. You didn't know about this until last night?
07:11I didn't. Why didn't she tell you before?
07:13That's my question, why didn't you tell him before?
07:15Cos we weren't together, it doesn't matter.
07:17But when he came here and you had all those doubts,
07:19why didn't you tell him when he did that test?
07:21That's what you're saying to us, right?
07:23You have to answer that.
07:25Because we weren't together.
07:27At the end of the day, it's not cheating, I weren't with him.
07:29Do you think it's cheating?
07:31He kicked me out on the street.
07:33OK, you class it as cheating because she kept it from you, yeah?
07:35Why yesterday? Why didn't she tell me until yesterday?
07:37Cos it doesn't matter, we weren't together, it's not cheating.
07:39At the end of the day, if we're not together...
07:41Did you finish with her?
07:43No.
07:45I wanted you back.
07:47I wanted you back and you knew that.
07:49I still love you at that time.
07:51You kicked me out on the street.
07:53You had another woman staying with you.
07:55She was staying with you for six months.
07:57But he didn't cheat on you cos he passed the test.
07:59It doesn't... Yeah.
08:01But he didn't even consider my feelings and how it made me feel.
08:03Can I... Sorry, hold on a second.
08:05Can I ask you, you know, last time you passed,
08:07that was fantastic, you beat the odds,
08:09you did everything that you did, everybody was happy.
08:11She came out and said,
08:13we're not happy cos we're not having sex.
08:15Have you just been getting a gut feeling that things aren't right?
08:17Is that what you're saying?
08:19I'm talking to him, be quiet.
08:21It's not all about sex at the end of the day.
08:23No, if it was, I'd be finished.
08:25But, you know, I want to get close to you.
08:27Yeah, I want to hold you.
08:29I want to do all sorts of things to you.
08:31Oh, dear.
08:35Not like that, but, yeah.
08:37Anyway, um...
08:39But, you know, I love you.
08:41What does it matter?
08:43Why does it matter to you, then, if you were apart?
08:45Answer me that.
08:47We weren't apart. You knew I wanted to go back.
08:49No, I didn't know you wanted to be back.
08:51Yes, I did.
08:53You told me you didn't want nothing to do with me.
08:55You told me to leave you alone.
08:57You didn't want me messaging you or anything.
08:59Yes, I did.
09:01You kicked me out.
09:03I had nowhere to go.
09:05I had no family, nothing.
09:07You know that.
09:09So, hold on. Can I just get this right?
09:11Can I just get this right?
09:13You finished, you were out, you were a man.
09:15You spent five months. Whether you had somebody in your flat or not,
09:17you never cheated. Only last night, when he said,
09:19and I quote,
09:21I've got qualms about whether she's loyal to me.
09:23Did you, on the way to this show to do your test,
09:25say I had sex with somebody whilst we were apart?
09:27Hold on a second. You class that as cheating.
09:29You don't, but what you wanted
09:31and what you've agreed to do after the break
09:33is a lie detector to see, and it's classic, isn't it?
09:35I'm on my way to the car show. I'm going to do a lie detector.
09:37So, you're going to pass the rest of the test.
09:39Can you forgive her? That's the question.
09:41Back after this, and you two, on stage.
09:43Come with me now. Let's do it.
09:45Martin, listen to me.
09:47Your abuser called you fat.
09:49It's led you to starve yourself.
09:57Have you got a jealous partner?
09:59Are you the one that cannot control your jealousy?
10:01If you're 16 or over
10:03and you want to be considered for the show,
10:05text the word TALK today, plus your name,
10:07to 63334.
10:09Text costs 25 pence, plus one standard rate message.
10:11You can call my team today.
10:13It's 09011.
10:15It's 123456.
10:17Calls cost 25 pence, plus your network access charge.
10:19Or email TALK at itv.com
10:21to get in touch with one of my team.
10:23APPLAUSE
10:33So, we've done the story.
10:35You've done a test. Why have you done a test
10:37if you've admitted to sleeping with this other guy?
10:39You didn't want to do the test.
10:41You've been giving my team grief all day. What?
10:43I didn't want to do the test. What's the point?
10:45Yeah, I admitted, right?
10:47And so you know the truth. There was two people I slept with
10:49when I turned up.
10:51Oh, we've got a...
10:53It doesn't matter. What? We weren't together.
10:55It was not cheaping. It was two now.
10:57Yeah, it doesn't matter.
10:59Sorry, say that again. It was two.
11:01It doesn't matter. We weren't together.
11:03How's she getting so much sex?
11:05How many men did you sleep with?
11:07Two on one occasion each.
11:09In five months, I only slept with two men on one occasion.
11:11Come on.
11:13Mate, you didn't know that either? No.
11:15She told me it was only one. So last night it was one
11:17and today it's two?
11:19I only told him about one of them.
11:21Anyway, Mark, listen...
11:23You had the strength to do it, yeah?
11:25Do what? You had the strength to, yeah.
11:27What?
11:29I wasn't working at the time. I was living on the streets.
11:31I got completely drunk at the time
11:33because I could not cope without you.
11:35So you'd have sex with strangers on the street
11:37when you're drunk, but not with the man you want to marry, yeah?
11:39They weren't strangers, actually.
11:41It's people I knew.
11:43Claire admitted before she went into the test
11:45she had sex with two other men.
11:47She only slept with one man on one occasion.
11:49She's only told Martin about one.
11:51So we changed the question.
11:53She said that was relevant because you were apart at the time.
11:55Since the start of your relationship, we asked Claire,
11:57with Martin, apart from what you've just admitted to,
11:59have you passionately kissed someone else?
12:01Anyone else? You said no.
12:03Why did you say no? Because I said I'm sorry.
12:05It was just two, was it? Yeah.
12:07Why does this test say you're lying, then?
12:09I am lying. I have a test.
12:11You come here and you say one, then you say two.
12:13Since the start of your relationship, Martin,
12:15with Martin, apart from what you've admitted to,
12:17have you had sexual contact with anyone else?
12:19She said no. She lied on that question.
12:21I know you won't be surprised, pal.
12:23Look at me. No, I haven't.
12:25One last night, two today,
12:27and failed every single question.
12:29I don't know how that is, because I guarantee you
12:31it was only two. Faked.
12:33You just said it doesn't matter
12:35if it's one, two, or a million.
12:37Are you sure? It's not the old classic
12:39I'll try and spin the wheel.
12:41No.
12:43Martin!
12:45Martin! Martin! Martin!
12:47Listen, mate.
12:49You can't keep walking away and then going back to her.
12:51You've got to front this out, mate. You've got to front it out.
12:53You keep walking away, and I'm going to tell you something
12:55whether you like this or not.
12:57She knows she's got you exactly
12:59where she wants to, mate. Seriously.
13:01I'm telling you the truth.
13:03She knows she can click her fingers in five minutes
13:05and docile old Martin will run back to her.
13:07Go and tell her what you think of her
13:09for the first time in your life. Go on.
13:11Go and tell her.
13:13Go and tell her. With my help.
13:15Stand up for yourself.
13:19Where's she gone now?
13:21Where's she gone?
13:23What?
13:25Sorry, where's she...
13:27Come here. Where's she gone?
13:29I don't even know why we have a studio. Forget this set.
13:31We don't need it. Let's just do it outside here the whole time.
13:33Where's she gone now?
13:35What? Sorry. Come here.
13:37What are you doing out here?
13:39What have I done? I'm going.
13:41You're going? Why are you going?
13:43Why don't you let him have it? He's going to go. I'm sorry.
13:45That is lying.
13:47It was like a dream take-home.
13:49I told you.
13:51Why did you fail the test then?
13:53I've never lied to you in my life.
13:57You think he's going to run after you.
13:59I'm going to make sure he doesn't.
14:01I don't want him running after me.
14:03Well, then do one.
14:05Go whichever way you want, Martin.
14:07Go find somebody else.
14:11Good luck to them. We'll let you know.
14:13Right, my next guest, changing tack, Zoe,
14:15is here to tell her astonishing story.
14:17She says that she developed an eating disorder
14:19after she was abused as a child.
14:21She's slowly recovering, but says she's now
14:23worried about her mum, who's blaming herself
14:25for what Zoe has been through.
14:27I have to tell you, this show's about all sorts
14:29of different stories, people's lives, the rawness of it,
14:31and this is one brave girl.
14:33I really want you to give her a big welcome.
14:35Jeremy Carter, that way.
14:47Oh, bless you.
14:49Why is it that people that have had
14:51the worst times are the ones who
14:53get to us all?
14:55Bridget's your mum?
14:57Yeah.
14:59Pamela, who brought you up as well, your grandmother.
15:01A lot of people, before you tell your story,
15:03will go, why would you do it?
15:05What are you going to achieve by this?
15:07What's the reason?
15:09I want to raise awareness
15:11about anorexia and, you know,
15:13the blame that
15:15goes around with anorexia,
15:17because it's not all about the physical
15:19side of it, it's about
15:21the mental stuff, about things that
15:23have happened to you, and we're all different.
15:25We shouldn't be tied with the same brush.
15:27It's a completely
15:29different thing for all of us.
15:31It could be grief that starts it off,
15:33it could be trauma from childhood,
15:35conflicts, anything.
15:37You say I was bullied in school, why were you bullied?
15:39I don't know.
15:41For being fat,
15:43for being,
15:45they call me stupid,
15:47just basically
15:49anything.
15:51Let's talk about the abuse, we can't be specific.
15:53What age did it start?
15:55Six.
15:57Somebody you knew?
15:59Yeah.
16:01How long did it go on for?
16:03Till I was 11, 11 years old.
16:05You never told anybody?
16:07No, because I felt, I just really felt
16:09dirty and ashamed.
16:11And I read a line
16:13from you today which I wanted to share with the people.
16:15You said, the problem is,
16:17when an adult tells you at that age that something's
16:19right, you believe them,
16:21don't you? Yeah, you do.
16:23Your abuser called you fat.
16:25Yeah.
16:27This led you to starve yourself.
16:29Yeah.
16:31First it was,
16:33I've always had,
16:35my control has always been with food,
16:37because at first it was
16:39just
16:41eating all the time.
16:43I just stuffed myself,
16:45comfort eating all the time.
16:47I just hid upstairs in my room,
16:49watching films, writing,
16:51I wrote a lot of poetry and stories
16:53and things like that, I still do that now,
16:55that was the comfort for me.
16:57And just ate all the time,
16:59so I was quite big.
17:01I was 13 and a half stone by the time I was 11.
17:03So I was quite big.
17:05And then
17:07just one day
17:09I looked in the mirror and thought, they're right,
17:11everyone's right, I'm fat, I'm ugly,
17:13I'm stupid,
17:15and I should go on a diet.
17:17So I started dieting, started exercising,
17:19but then that became an obsession
17:21and
17:23that's where
17:25I was five stone
17:27by the time I was 18.
17:29And I was six stone
17:31when I went to hospital, because I had heart palpitations
17:33and everything.
17:35That's horrific.
17:37When you look at that now, what do you see?
17:39You had to be force fed at that point.
17:41Yeah.
17:43I had a tube up my nose.
17:45I had a tube up my nose.
17:49God, I feel sorry for you.
17:51I make you feel bad when you look at that.
17:53Why can you talk about the abuse
17:55in such a cold, calculating way
17:57and yet looking at that makes you cry?
17:59Because I just can't believe what I've done to myself.
18:01No, no, no.
18:03You didn't do it to yourself.
18:05That piece of whatever did it to you.
18:07And that's how it came out, right?
18:09And to be here is incredible.
18:11You say when you were being force fed
18:13and when push came to shove,
18:15you had to admit about the abuse
18:17and that was the hardest thing because
18:19your mum and latterly your nan
18:21had no idea.
18:23And now they're racked with guilt.
18:25Yeah, and I've told them
18:27I don't want them to be guilty
18:29because they have nothing to be guilty about.
18:31They didn't know. How could they help
18:33when they didn't know?
18:35But you didn't tell them. This lady, when she was that ill
18:37and she went to hospital, had a mini-stroke
18:39and it was at that point that you thought you should come clean.
18:41You'd kept that to yourself.
18:43How old are you now, 20? You kept that to yourself for years.
18:45Yeah.
18:47You need to let this out and you need to revisit
18:49what it did to you, not just psychologically
18:51but physically as well.
18:53It's better to just move on
18:55and look at the positive things in life
18:57and do the things that I love to do.
18:59Do you understand, because all morning
19:01your mum and your nan have talked about
19:03their guilt. Do you understand their guilt?
19:05Yeah, I do.
19:07I feel guilty that they feel guilty
19:09because I don't want them to feel guilty.
19:11And this is where I will not change ever
19:13how I am. The worst thing about this
19:15apart from a child being abused
19:17apart from you starving yourself
19:19because you hated yourself, apart from the guilt
19:21you feel and their guilt, is all of that
19:23because of what that piece of What's It did
19:25and he's sitting or doing whatever.
19:27That's what I hate about it. That's why I want justice.
19:29That's why I think people like that should rot in hell
19:31because you lot are still suffering. But the only way to move from that
19:33is to have this out. Amazing.
19:35And I mean that. We're going to get your mum and your grandma
19:37on this stage next. Is that all right?
19:39We'll be right back. Give her a round of applause
19:41when you discovered what had happened to her.
19:43I could have
19:45chopped his bits off.
19:51Your test, right,
19:53was absolutely one million percent
19:55kosher. You cheated on him, didn't you?
19:57Why did you fail the test then?
19:59Because you're testy.
20:13Thank you very much indeed. Welcome back.
20:15Before the break, chatting to an incredibly brave young girl, Zoe,
20:17talked about how you were abused
20:19from the ages of 6 to 11. That
20:21showed itself in terms of severe anorexia
20:23and it wasn't until you were being
20:25force-fed in hospital near to death
20:27that you could admit, and after a mini-stroke,
20:29to your mum and your nan how you feel.
20:31I think you're amazing. I think you're incredible.
20:33I understand where they're coming from because
20:35they're going to go, as a parent, you go,
20:37why didn't I see that? We can't do everything.
20:39Your mum's Bridget, yeah?
20:41Give her a round of applause. Bridget's on the show, guys.
20:59How are you doing? Nice to meet you. Take a seat in the middle, there you go.
21:01Thank you very much indeed for coming on.
21:03Bridget, how difficult is
21:05that to sit and listen to? I mean, I
21:07think she's incredible, but she's been through the wringer.
21:09Extremely, extremely hard
21:11as a parent. You do not
21:13want to hear anything like that
21:15about what happened to your child.
21:17Anything. Anything at all.
21:19Why do you...? Any abuse. As
21:21this came through, you knew she
21:23was bullied at school, you knew she was a loner,
21:25but I loved what you said, actually. You said, I just thought
21:27she was a typical teenager.
21:29Nothing in your mind ever thought
21:31that something this bad could have happened?
21:33No. In all
21:35honesty, I just thought it was about the bullying
21:37while she was at primary school.
21:39And when she moved to
21:41secondary school, she got rid of the
21:43bullies because she weren't following
21:45them all to their school. What they went to,
21:47she went to the opposite secondary school that
21:49was there at the time. I want to
21:51talk about the abuser. Did you know, we can't
21:53be specific, did you know the abuser?
21:55Oh yes, yeah.
21:57At least then. I didn't
21:59know. Oh, you mean when I found out?
22:01Because Zoe told me that
22:03she didn't want to tell us
22:05while she was being abused
22:07to protect us.
22:09She didn't actually tell anyone about it herself
22:11until she was in the priory at Birmingham.
22:13When I did tell them at the priory,
22:15my therapist
22:17about it, she got the police in anyway
22:19and they asked me if I wanted to press
22:21charges. Which I said she should.
22:23And I said no. And quite rightly so.
22:25And I
22:27didn't badger her, but I said, look,
22:29you need to get this man done. Really?
22:31Get him done straight away. I honestly,
22:33I couldn't get me to drown that.
22:35Well, I obviously,
22:37look, we're in no position to judge.
22:39This girl's better than you and I would ever be in the whole
22:41history of our lives, but I sort of want to put people
22:43like that on a public stake, really.
22:45Give the public about half. I hate it.
22:47It's apparent. It's abhorrent to me.
22:49I know. I say exactly the same.
22:51And I did say it to you, didn't I?
22:53Why do you feel guilty?
22:55Because... Tell her. Actually, tell her.
22:57As a parent, you know I've told you this
22:59before anyway.
23:01I didn't see the signs.
23:03And I should have done. Because we're that close.
23:05You and I. We're like sisters,
23:07soulmates, whatever you want to call it.
23:09We have a brilliant relationship.
23:11The family's very supportive.
23:13I've always been supportive. You know that.
23:15You're a brilliant, brilliant
23:17person.
23:19Inside and out.
23:21She really, really is.
23:23Inside, you're beautiful. Outside,
23:25you're beautiful. And why
23:27I didn't pick up on that, I don't know.
23:29But for me, it was all about the bullying.
23:31And I always thought it was bullies
23:33that was doing it.
23:35Bridget, you were working full
23:37time, a single mum, to bring these
23:39two up.
23:41Your mum,
23:43Pam,
23:45took some of the strain.
23:47And she lived with Pam for a while. She did.
23:49Pam didn't find out until when?
23:51About a week ago.
23:53This lady is traumatised
23:55to be an understatement, right?
23:57Let's get Pam in on the Jeremy Carl show.
23:59That way, guys.
24:01APPLAUSE
24:23Hi, Nan.
24:25I'm Jeremy.
24:27I love you.
24:29You look like a Nan should look. Can I say that?
24:31Doesn't she look like a Nan should look?
24:33What are you doing, Nan?
24:37That's when people get angry, Nan.
24:39What are you doing?
24:41Do you want Big Steve to help you, Nan?
24:43Do you want Big Steve
24:45to help you, Pam?
24:47I'm not.
24:49I've got one.
24:52She'll not leave you alone, though, Steve.
24:54You'll pull tonight, you will.
24:56Do you want to meet Big Steve?
24:58Meet Big Steve?
25:00Steve, get in now.
25:02CHEERING
25:05Come here.
25:20I'm getting serious for a minute, Pam.
25:24You did what every grandmother and grandparent would do
25:26and you played your part in this girl's life.
25:28Yes.
25:30When you discovered what had happened to her.
25:33I could have chopped his bits off.
25:35CHEERING
25:39With that, Steve,
25:41I get that.
25:43And if ever there's a frost, I hope they freeze off.
25:47Why do you feel guilty?
25:49Because...
25:53..she was so young at the time.
25:57And it shouldn't have happened to her.
25:59It shouldn't have happened to anybody like that.
26:01They weren't locking up and throwing it clear away.
26:05They just didn't want her to, you know,
26:07it's such a thing that she had to put up with
26:10in her young life.
26:12And the way that it showed herself with her,
26:14she starved herself,
26:16and that has had an impact on her life.
26:19That's it.
26:21But she's incredibly brave to be this kind of person.
26:23I've told all of you, like,
26:25I know the stuff that I've been through,
26:27I've been through what I've been through,
26:29but at the end of the day,
26:31it's made me who I am today,
26:33and it's brought me... I know it has, sweetheart.
26:35..to the places where I am today as well.
26:37I know.
26:39For me, you know, I think I see it.
26:41APPLAUSE
26:43You know, when I was saying earlier
26:46that the fact that so many victims
26:48spend their lives going round in circles,
26:50and I always want to go,
26:52don't, the truth of the matter is,
26:54if you, when you watch this back,
26:57and when you see just how...
27:00Wrong word. Balanced?
27:02Accepting wrong word? I don't know.
27:05When you look at yourself and you hear what you say,
27:08he ain't one at all.
27:10He ain't one at all, mate,
27:12because, yeah, you've been through the ringer,
27:14but you're here, you're here with a family that love you,
27:16your life is back on track,
27:18and you manage somehow to have no bitterness,
27:20which I think is extraordinary,
27:22cos I'm rather like your nan,
27:24and you're getting on with it,
27:26and I think that deserves huge respect.
27:28APPLAUSE
27:32I think that's what's made me...
27:35I think that's what's made me come out of the eating disorder more,
27:39just accepting and looking at the positive things.
27:43I thought what was interesting was what you said at the beginning,
27:46sweetheart, and you said that your...
27:48Some people don't understand this, but your lack of eating
27:50that led to the anorexia was a form of control.
27:52People abuse themselves. It's a form of control.
27:54People will abuse themselves. How is that control?
27:56Because it's the one thing you know you can control.
27:58I don't want to eat, I'm not going to eat.
28:00I'm going to make myself sick, I'm going to do whatever.
28:02I'm going to binge eat, stick my fingers down my throat,
28:04whatever it is, or just starve myself.
28:06But I know that I can do that and nobody else can do that to me.
28:09Yeah, that's right.
28:11The fact that you're destroying your body...
28:13And the fact that, yeah, because my self-esteem was just on the floor.
28:16I had no self-respect, self-confidence at all.
28:18I mean, because of the abuse that happened,
28:21as a teenager, I thought, you know,
28:24all I was going to sum up to when I was older
28:27was just a prostitute or a stripper
28:29or just a sleazebag on the streets and a crackhead.
28:33I just... That's what I thought I was going to be,
28:36because that's all I was brought.
28:39That's what you felt there. Yeah, I felt...
28:41Well, I would say, just to finish, because it's incredible to meet you,
28:44I think you're amazing, love you forever.
28:46I love you too. All right, OK.
28:48Just control.
28:50I'm not old, I'm sugar daddy.
28:56Did you say I'd be your sugar daddy?
28:59How old are you then? You're 74. How old do you think I am?
29:02No, you're not that old, Jeremy.
29:04How old do you think I look?
29:06How old do you think... I think you are. Yeah.
29:1114... 14, 2, 3.
29:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:20Jeremy, the only success I've had in 16 months
29:23is with a 72-year-old.
29:27But I love you for it.
29:29Babe, listen, I think you're amazing,
29:32and I know that you still face a battle.
29:34I know that the message is that,
29:36if something like that's happened to you, you have to speak out.
29:39I know, perhaps if you'd spoken earlier,
29:41but you are doing that now, and Mum and Gran,
29:44your love for her is obvious, the guilt is misplaced.
29:47Sadly, these things do go on.
29:49What's great is that she's saved, what's great is that she's back with you,
29:52and the worst thing I think all of you could do would be stuck,
29:55cos that gives any credence to what that piece of crap did.
29:58I think the three of you move forward with your lives,
30:00and it's an absolute pleasure to meet you.
30:02Give them a round of applause, they're going that way.
30:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:09There you go.
30:19Good luck to them.
30:20Right, you might remember my next guest from a previous show.
30:23Take a look at this, my friends.
30:26Why did you not tell your partner you were going to go and stay
30:29with the man who was a complete stranger that you met off the internet,
30:32despite the fact that you're engaged?
30:34Because he's quite paranoid, and he...
30:36This is just fantastic way to make him feel better about his life.
30:41I'm absolutely with you. I mean, what the hell are you supposed to think?
30:45I'm just putting my mind round it, eh?
30:48I was like, why go out and meet the guy?
30:51And it's just spinning my mind, Ken.
30:54We asked Hannah, since the start of your relationship with Kevin,
30:57have you passionately kissed any other person?
30:59You said no. Why did you say no?
31:01Tess says you're a liar, Hannah.
31:03I did not lie. I swear to...
31:05No, Tess, no. She never lied. No, no.
31:07She didn't lie about who she was going to meet.
31:09Since the start of your relationship with Kevin,
31:11have you had sexual contact with any other person?
31:13She said no. Tess says she lied on that question as well.
31:15In fact, Kevin, there's a part of me that's highly delighted.
31:18She failed every single question.
31:20And you, you deserve better, cos this woman is a liar, pal.
31:24That's the truth.
31:27So let me just recap, right.
31:29This is a woman who was engaged to that bloke,
31:31who decided to meet a stranger off the internet,
31:33and then came here to prove that she hadn't cheated,
31:36failed it completely and then said,
31:38your lie detector's a pile of rubbish.
31:40But this is interesting, right.
31:42She says she stands by the fact she thinks that Tess was wrong,
31:45but is here today because apparently not only is she back with him,
31:49she doesn't trust him and she wants him to do a test at my expense
31:55on something she doesn't think is worth it.
31:57Why is she bothering?
31:59Hannah's back.
32:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:10I actually don't know why you're here and neither do they.
32:12And this time you have to speak. You don't agree with the test?
32:15No. Then go away. Why would you be here to do it about your boyfriend?
32:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:20There's other people. Sorry?
32:22There's other people... I hope he slept with everybody behind your back.
32:26No, no, you're missing the point.
32:28If you don't believe in my test,
32:31why are you back asking him to do one at my expense, love?
32:34I didn't ask him to, he offered.
32:36But then why would you even believe it?
32:38I know exactly what you want.
32:40You want him to fail so you feel just as good as him. No.
32:43Your test, right, was absolutely one million per cent kosher.
32:47You cheated on him, didn't you? Nope.
32:49Why did you fail the test, then? Because your test is...
32:55So if that's your opinion, why are we doing a test on him?
32:58Because he partially believes...
33:00That word you used, I think that sums up your relationship
33:03and I actually don't want anything to do with you.
33:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:07What's the point? What is the point of me doing this
33:09if you don't stand by the test?
33:11Obviously he's a doughnut, he'll do anything you say.
33:13Oh, I love Hannah, I'll let her get away with it.
33:15You failed that test. Yes, you did, absolutely.
33:18You tried every trick in the book.
33:20Oh, I gave a false name, I did this, my breathing, my movement.
33:23I've done this for 12 years, love.
33:25Your results were off the scale. Fact.
33:28No, they weren't.
33:30You met up with a man off the internet and you're engaged to him.
33:33It doesn't mean that anything happened, though, does it?
33:36Why did you fail, then? Because...
33:40So if that's the case, why do you care what he says or does?
33:44Because he wants to do this and there's people around us.
33:47I mean, do you even know that since I've been on this last show,
33:50because your test basically...
33:52I've been having people giving us death threats because of it.
33:56That's my fault, is it? Because of your test.
33:58Why would somebody give you a death threat?
34:00Because you're a lying cheat who did the dirty on your boyfriend, love,
34:03or are you just digging furiously to try and get yourself out of a hole?
34:06No, because they believe everything they see on TV.
34:08Well, if you don't believe the test, then I'm not going to do one for him.
34:12Why would I bother?
34:14Why don't you just tootle off back to where you came from
34:17and deal with your own mess, love, cos you're painfully alone?
34:23What's the point?
34:25There's no point, is there?
34:27Because I didn't force him to do it.
34:29But if he comes out and does it,
34:31you're not going to believe it anyway, are you?
34:33Let's hope he passes.
34:35Then you'll be really screwed in the head cos you won't believe it
34:38and you'll be all messed up.
34:40Kevin's back.
34:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:52I like you. First of all, why are you still with her?
34:56Well, everybody makes mistakes.
35:01Here's the thing, Kev.
35:03She went and met a person off the internet
35:06and failed the lie detector.
35:08I've done this for 12 years.
35:10My lie detector has spurred all of the team
35:12to give me a million per cent stand by it.
35:14Right, fact, first thing.
35:16She says that my test is responsible
35:18for ruining her relationship.
35:20I say you don't believe the test.
35:22So why are you here trying to prove to her?
35:25Because ever since the last shoot,
35:27I've been getting stick of everybody about it,
35:29that cos I haven't left her, that I've done something wrong,
35:32so I'm here to prove myself.
35:34But you've also been getting stick from her, haven't you?
35:36Not as much.
35:38But why would you take any stick from anybody who blatantly is a liar?
35:42Why are you letting him do this?
35:44Hello? Why are you letting him do this?
35:49But she's not going to believe the result.
35:52If you cheated on her, she's going to say,
35:54there you are, we're both as bad as each other,
35:56it's all Jeremy Carl's fault, and if you pass,
35:58she's going to be messed in the...
35:59Oh, I hope you pass, she's going to be messed in the head forever.
36:02But it's true. Are you going to pass?
36:04100%.
36:05Have you cheated on her? No.
36:07Why do you think he's cheated on you?
36:09There was a while back, there would be random girls that would add him
36:12and he would ask them, like, what they think of his looks
36:15and what they thought of him.
36:17That's because most of the time when I talk to them on Facebook,
36:20they actually call me a creep and all I do is,
36:22be friends, that's it, be friends, be friends,
36:24they call me a creep.
36:25But if they want to be friends,
36:26you don't have to ask them what they think of your looks.
36:28We asked Kevin, since the start of your relationship with Hannah,
36:31have you passionately kissed any other person?
36:33You said no, why did you say no?
36:34I was telling the truth.
36:35This is your liar, pal.
36:36CHEERING
36:39Oh, no!
36:40Look at the smile on her little face.
36:42Did you pick that up? Did you pick that up on camera?
36:45So you believe that, do you?
36:47Nope.
36:48So that makes you feel a lot better.
36:50Well, I'll tell you what.
36:51Have you ever seen that thing where you go, game, set and match?
36:55Two things.
36:56You failed every question.
36:58CHEERING
37:00Why don't you tell her what you told us before you came on stage?
37:04Erm...
37:07Tell her!
37:08At the start of my relationship, when I was with Hannah...
37:11So this is right?
37:12Yeah.
37:14Now you've completely messed up, aren't you?!
37:17Cos he's admitted he cheated on you and the test said he had!
37:21So now you've got nowhere to go!
37:23CHEERING
37:32So you did cheat at the beginning and the test is right.
37:34You stand by that test, which means that you believe her test.
37:37Yeah.
37:38Over to you, Hannah.
37:45Can I make a suggestion?
37:46What's that?
37:48I know what it's like when you love somebody and it's not reciprocated.
37:51I understand what you're doing.
37:53This girl definitely cheated.
37:55If you had the courage, you didn't cheat.
37:57I did not cheat.
37:58But he's admitted that he cheated.
38:00That was at the beginning of the relationship.
38:02But you still cheated whilst you were with her, yeah?
38:04Well, I was with my other ex at first.
38:06But you were with her. There was a crossover.
38:08I know why this is like that.
38:10Cos you told me that we started going out at the end of the month
38:14and she told me that you didn't break up with her
38:16until the start of the next month.
38:18So essentially he cheated on you whilst he was with you, yeah?
38:20Because he got the dates wrong.
38:22Yeah, but he cheated.
38:23So when he told a lie, the test is absolutely right
38:25because he's admitted that to us.
38:27Which means that you're also a liar, doesn't it?
38:29Nope. I didn't cheat. I never have.
38:31Do you know the only thing I want to say before I run for the hills?
38:33This woman thinks she's got you exactly where she wants you.
38:36She absolutely is pulling every string.
38:38No-one is lying when you love somebody.
38:40Difficult to accept.
38:41If it was me, I would say goodnight, Vienna.
38:44I'm sure you won't.
38:45But she has one thing that she can't do.
38:48At least you're honest about the mistakes you made.
38:50She isn't.
38:51APPLAUSE
38:59I hope you get it sorted. We'll do our best to help you with that.
39:01Well done. Brilliant.
39:02One of my greatest moments in 12 years.
39:04You're a liar. Get off my stage.
39:06Good luck, Kevin. You might need it.
39:11That's when a plan comes into fruition.
39:13After the break on this stage,
39:14a woman desperate to make an appeal to find her long-lost father
39:17and right back don't go anywhere.
39:19I grew up with my dad.
39:20Did you? Yeah.
39:22But he left at ten? It was a bad relationship?
39:24It was a bad relationship between my mum and him, yeah.
39:27He was quite violent.
39:28So he left?
39:29My mum left with us.
39:31And you never saw him again?
39:32No.
39:33What information have you got about him?
39:36Nothing.
39:38Well, I've found him.
39:42It's been 25 years,
39:43but if you look through that door, your dad threads here.
39:53APPLAUSE
39:56Oh, what are you trying to get at, are you?
39:58You heard the news? The NTAs are back.
40:00Oh, the NTAs.
40:01Why don't you take a promo, Jez?
40:03Cos everybody will vote for you. No, they don't.
40:0512 years, 2,000 shows, I've been abused, I've been threatened,
40:08I've been ill, everything's happened in my life,
40:10nobody gives a damn about me.
40:11You're not in, nobody's interested.
40:13I'm not...
40:14Oh, and there it is, isn't it? It's all about you.
40:16It's about Big Steve. Everybody Big Steve.
40:19Nobody gives a damn about Jeza anymore.
40:21Well, do you know what?
40:22I'm going to a dark room to lie down!
40:41Mmm!
40:43APPLAUSE
40:46CHEERING
40:51You're the security guard on the Jeremy Gow show.
40:55Very, very much. Very manly.
41:00Protect me for a change.
41:02You love the big man, do you? Oh, I love the big man.
41:05What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man.
41:09Mmm!
41:12Good morning and welcome to my show.
41:15CHEERING
41:28Thank you very much indeed. Welcome back.
41:30Right, my next guest, Claire, has contacted us,
41:32desperate to try and find her long-lost father.
41:34She says that seven months ago, she tragically lost her mum
41:37and ever since then has been hoping to be reunited with her dad
41:40she hasn't seen for 25 years.
41:42Big day for this girl as well.
41:43Claire is on the Jeremy Carr Show. That way.
41:45APPLAUSE
41:5537. Yeah.
41:57Looking good, love. Welcome to the show. Thank you.
42:00Before we talk about your dad, this was really...
42:03I just wanted to get some sort of background.
42:05You did actually see him for the first few years of your life?
42:08Yeah, I did. He... I grew up with my dad.
42:11Did you? Yeah.
42:13But he left at ten? It was a bad relationship?
42:15It was a bad relationship between my mum and him, yeah.
42:18He was quite violent. So he left?
42:20My mum left with us.
42:22And you never saw him again? No.
42:24You obviously asked, you obviously... Yeah.
42:27What was that like growing up?
42:29It was horrible.
42:30Um...
42:32I just wish he was there.
42:34You know?
42:36Have you tried over the years? I've tried looking for him.
42:40Now, your mum as well, The Rock,
42:42on which so much of your life was built, died seven months ago.
42:45That was difficult enough to handle. Yeah.
42:47She'd moved you around.
42:49She wanted to protect you guys from him.
42:52Yeah.
42:53You say, I might be 37, but I need to sort of put some order into stuff
42:57and I need a parental figure in my life.
42:59There's no animosity, I get that. No.
43:01What did she say to you on her deathbed?
43:03She said, I love you.
43:06Did you tell her you were going to try and find your dad?
43:09No, because my mum didn't want me to.
43:11When you're a child, you always think your dad will be there
43:14and I've missed him so, so much. I have a lot of questions.
43:17Yeah.
43:19What information have you got about him?
43:21Nothing.
43:23Not a lot, really. Well, I've found him.
43:25Oh!
43:30SHE SOBS
43:34You all right?
43:37He is very emotional. We told him, out of respect,
43:39he had a chat with Grey and we told him about what happened to your mum.
43:43Yeah. I think many of these instances,
43:45I think it's really easy for people to read a card or be in the audience
43:49and go, oh, the relationship was topsy-turvy,
43:51it'll be the bloke's fault or it'll be the woman's fault.
43:53It was a quarter of a century ago.
43:55I like what you said.
43:57Yeah, I've got questions, but I want a relationship.
44:00I want that figure in my life. Yeah.
44:02You OK? Yeah, I'm OK.
44:04You don't have to wait long.
44:06It's been 25 years, but if you look through that door,
44:09your dad Fred's here, all right?
44:11Give a round of applause that way.
44:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:36How are you, Fred? I'm fine, thanks.
44:38God, how alike do you two look?
44:40You look like a girl, but we don't need to do a DNA.
44:46You've had a bad morning, haven't you?
44:49Since they rang you and told you, what's it been like?
44:54I've...
44:57..been crying a lot.
45:00I don't know where they are or how they are or whatever.
45:03Do you have regrets?
45:05I do have regrets for what I did in the past.
45:07I'm hoping it doesn't affect this contact I've had from today.
45:11I'm hoping to...
45:13You've been waiting for this moment for a long time.
45:15Yes, I have. What do you want to say to your daughter?
45:18I'm hoping what happened in the past doesn't affect...
45:22..what we're about to do today.
45:24The relationship was toxic. You admit you made mistakes.
45:27There was mistakes on both sides.
45:29I think that's always the point, isn't it?
45:31It's very easy to go, it was that, it was this,
45:33but this is the story, you see? You do it all the time.
45:36The kids are the ones who suffer, aren't they?
45:38That's true.
45:40What's it been like for the last 25 years,
45:43knowing you've got a daughter out there and she's not in your life?
45:46It hurts. It eats away at you inside.
45:49It feels like you've done a right sentence.
45:51Could you have done more?
45:53I could have done more within the situation.
45:56Could you have done more to find her in the last 25 years?
45:59I tried finding her. Tell her.
46:01And I put the details down through search.
46:06I was on a website doing searches.
46:09And I come back with nothing.
46:13Can I...? Lots to talk about, lots to organise.
46:16We'll help you with that. There's just one thing.
46:18You're 61. I shouldn't tell you this, by the way,
46:20but there's one thing you need to say to your daughter, isn't there?
46:23Try sorry, pal, as a start.
46:25I apologise for what I put you through.
46:29And it's hard...
46:33..for me, because I've not seen you at all.
46:36It's not been easy for me.
46:39And...
46:41..the blame lies with mainly me
46:44and the relationship I was with with your mother.
46:47It's honest.
46:49These things... I've said this before.
46:51People assume they're going to walk through those doors.
46:53It's going to be absolutely fantastic. It'll take time.
46:55You'll need to be honest with each other. We'll help you with the process.
46:58The most important thing is you've got your dad, you've found your dad,
47:01and you start from here. Are you all right?
47:03Thank you. Happy? Yeah.
47:05Happy? I'm happy. More than happy.
47:07Don't ever let her go again, yeah? I won't.
47:09Father and daughter, that way. Give them a round of applause.
47:16Nice way to finish a night of time for this morning.
47:19If you want to be here, you may visit our website.
47:21The details are on screen.
47:23To the guests, to the audience and to your home, thanks for watching.
47:25I'll see you very soon. Take care. Bye-bye for now.
47:38You may be seeing a world's first here.
47:40It's taken over my life and I really want my life back.
47:44If we don't treat this, you will become an eunuch.
47:50From what he says, you could be dead in five years.
47:53Those screws rebuilt your face. Yeah.
47:55And saved your life. That's amazing.
47:58I didn't think there was anything anybody could do.
48:03Really good news. This can be sorted and this can be treated.
48:06Happy with that? Yes.
48:08Am I happy? Yeah.
48:10I love him. That was amazing.
48:13I think you're one of the bravest men I've ever met.
48:17I was having a stroke already. Yeah.
48:19We need to urgently refer you to the stroke team.
48:38This programme contains strong language and adult humour.
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48:43and don't want to be criticised,
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