Frasier Season 6 Episode 3 Dial M For Martin
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Don't walk away from me when I'm yelling at you!
00:02I'll walk away from you if I want to!
00:04It's my house!
00:05Yes, don't I know it!
00:07You have no respect for my stuff!
00:09Yes, well, if you had labeled the cassette
00:10Rodeo Bloopers,
00:12I wouldn't have taped over it!
00:13I would have thrown it away!
00:31Dad, I'm sorry.
00:32Forget it, Frasier.
00:34You know, it's just that I've been so tense lately,
00:36being out of work.
00:37I know, I know.
00:38It's not as easy as both being home so much.
00:40Yeah.
00:41Well, I suppose that during this little
00:43live-between-jobs period,
00:44we should just try to be extra careful
00:46and not get on each other's nerves.
00:48All right, I'll do that.
00:50Good.
00:52Dad, what's this?
00:54Oh, a call came in from the office.
00:56I don't know what it is.
00:59Oh, a call came in for you.
01:02Rebecca Wendell.
01:04Oh, my God.
01:05Isn't she that model you've been after?
01:07Not just a model, Dad.
01:08A lingerie model.
01:10Met her at the symphony.
01:12Wow, this is amazing.
01:13When did this come in?
01:14About an hour ago.
01:16Well, I was here an hour ago.
01:18Yeah, you were in the tub.
01:19Well, it didn't stop you yesterday
01:21when you came in to ask me if a peach smelled funny.
01:24For God's sakes, Dad.
01:26I'd like to know why this is my fault.
01:28I put it right there in the special message bowl
01:31that we're all supposed to use.
01:32Damn it, her machine.
01:34Well, thanks a lot, Dad.
01:35I've been looking forward to this for months.
01:37Well, now you know how I feel about the rodeo tape.
01:39Oh, for God's sake,
01:40the two things have no comparison whatsoever.
01:42Hello, Rebecca.
01:44It's Frazier.
01:46Sorry I missed you.
01:47Uh, please try again.
01:49Uh, bye.
01:52Well, I hope you're happy.
01:55I'll have to sit here all afternoon
01:56waiting for the phone to ring.
01:57As opposed to what you normally do.
01:59Oh, that's rich coming from you.
02:01Man has spent the last five years
02:03welded to his aptly named lazy boy.
02:06Well, I'm not so lazy
02:07that I can't get the hell out of here.
02:09I haven't finished talking to you yet.
02:10I've finished listening.
02:12As usual, running away from the problem.
02:14Not the problem, the yammering.
02:16You want to tape over something?
02:17Try your mouth.
02:26Hey, Martin.
02:27Hi, Ros.
02:28Can you get a latte to go, please?
02:30So, is Frazier here?
02:31I hope not.
02:32Uh-oh.
02:33Oh, he's just been such a pill lately.
02:36Well, you know,
02:37it's tough for people when they're out of work.
02:39They just get a little tense and irritable.
02:42To go.
02:43I said to go.
02:47Well, maybe you need to take
02:48a little break from each other.
02:50Have you ever thought about,
02:52I don't know,
02:53going out with Niles for a while?
02:55Out of the frying pan into the fire, huh?
02:58Well, think about it.
02:59Niles' place is so huge,
03:01and he's at work all the time.
03:03That's true.
03:04And Maris is out of the picture now.
03:07You know what?
03:08I just thought of something.
03:10For a while there,
03:11your daughters-in-law
03:12were Maris and Lilith.
03:16Whoa.
03:17Happy Thanksgiving.
03:18Yeah.
03:20Hey, Niles.
03:22I'm not interrupting anything personal, am I?
03:25Yeah, Niles.
03:26We just eloped.
03:27I'm your new mom.
03:30Well, I'll be a son of a bitch.
03:36Latte, please.
03:39So, Martin,
03:40why don't you tell Niles your new idea?
03:41Well, actually, it was Roz's idea,
03:43but I think she might have something, you know?
03:46You know, Frazier and I
03:47have been kind of buttonheads lately.
03:49Well, Frazier has been very difficult.
03:51I don't know how you live with him.
03:53Well, that was Roz's idea.
03:55She suggested that I move in with you for a while.
04:00Did she?
04:01Yeah.
04:04You know, we talked about it
04:05when I first got shot,
04:06but, of course, Maris was the problem.
04:09So I guess the big question now is
04:12do you still want me?
04:13Oh, don't be silly.
04:15I want you just as much now
04:17as I wanted you then.
04:21Oh, I guess this is gonna work out.
04:23Thanks, Roz.
04:24Don't mention it.
04:25The look on Niles' face is thanks enough.
04:32Now, Dad, you're sure it won't bother you
04:34to live so far from the park and McGinty's?
04:37Oh, no, no, not at all.
04:39There's bus stops right in front of your place.
04:41Eddie and I don't mind taking the bus.
04:43Eddie.
04:47Eddie.
04:49You know, I just remembered, Dad,
04:51my building doesn't allow dogs.
04:53Oh, well, that's it, Dad,
04:55because I'm not leaving Eddie.
04:56Oh, of all the horrendous luck.
04:59Oh, well, thanks, anyway.
05:01I guess I'll just look for a little place.
05:04Can't be too small, though,
05:06because I gotta have a bedroom for Daphne.
05:24You know, Dad,
05:26about that no-dog rule,
05:28I could speak to Clarice,
05:30the head of our co-op board.
05:31Oh, really?
05:32You think I'd make an exception?
05:34Well, let's just say she's bent quite a few rules in her day,
05:37and if she doesn't want her husband to find out,
05:39she'll bend this one.
05:41That's great.
05:42Yes, well, it's settled.
05:44Daphne can move in straight away.
05:46You and Daphne.
05:48Oh, great.
05:55Oh, hello, Niles.
05:56Frasier, where's Daphne?
05:57I think at the market.
06:00Hello, Dad.
06:01Ah, Frasier, about this afternoon.
06:03Well, let's just drop it, all right?
06:06All's well that ends well,
06:08and this afternoon ended very well indeed.
06:11Oh, you're on to my marble call?
06:13Mm-hmm.
06:14Just after you left, actually.
06:16We spoke for about an hour,
06:17and we're having dinner together on Saturday night.
06:21Well, that's great.
06:22I hope everything works out.
06:23Actually, Dad, on that score,
06:26you could make yourself scarce that night.
06:29Actually, I'm moving in with Niles for a couple of months.
06:32Well, have some confidence in me, Dad.
06:35It won't take me that long.
06:40No, no, no, no, I mean it.
06:42Niles and I have been talking about it.
06:44Yes, and I think it's a fine idea.
06:46Well, you know, I know I've been out of sorts lately, Dad,
06:48but I hope I haven't made you feel unwelcome.
06:50Oh, no, no, no, it's nothing like that.
06:53Listen, I've been living under your roof for five years now.
06:57You've earned a little time to yourself.
07:00Are you sure?
07:01Yeah.
07:02Still, maybe you should sleep on it for the night.
07:04Oh, please, your pleasure, please.
07:06You've had a chance to get closer to Dad these past few years,
07:09and I wouldn't mind having that same chance myself.
07:12Frankly, I'm a bit jealous.
07:20Well, I am sorry, Niles.
07:23I guess I haven't been seeing this from your end.
07:26Hello, all.
07:27Hello, Daphne.
07:29Quite a little angle it is, too.
07:33Oh, Daph, let me ask you something.
07:35How do you feel about moving in with Niles?
07:37Are you serious?
07:38Yes.
07:39Just me?
07:40Yes.
07:41No, no.
07:42And Dad.
07:46Just don't phrase he goes back to work.
07:48It's been a little crowded around here.
07:51Well, I won't argue with that.
07:53You know, Dr. Crane has quite a few stairs.
07:55Are you sure you can manage them?
07:57Oh, sure.
07:59Nobody knows better than you how well my hip's getting.
08:01Well, what are we waiting for?
08:04Let's get you packed.
08:06Wait a minute.
08:10I was hired as Mr. Crane's physical therapist.
08:14And if he can make it up and down that staircase of yours,
08:17he really doesn't need full-time care anymore.
08:24This is hard for me to say, but...
08:27maybe it's time I moved on.
08:32We all knew this day would come sooner or later.
08:35What about my exercises?
08:38You'll do fine on your own.
08:41Believe me, it's not that I want to go.
08:43I'm very fond of you all.
08:46I'm not like a psychiatrist
08:48who works with someone for years and years
08:51and it doesn't matter if they ever get better.
09:01My work here is done.
09:03I have to go where I'm needed.
09:05Well, I need you.
09:07Look, it's not like I'm leaving right this minute.
09:10I'll help you get settled in while I look for a new job.
09:14But, Daphne...
09:16Oh, please, don't make a big fuss about this.
09:18You'll just make me cry.
09:20This is no time for tears.
09:22Well, I guess you don't know what's best.
09:25It's sure going to be lonely, though, just the two of us.
09:28It won't just be the two of you.
09:30You'll have Eddie.
09:51Dad!
09:53Eddie, whatever you're on, get off.
09:59I've been on hold with my employment agency forever.
10:04Thanks again for making me feel so welcome here
10:07until I find a new job.
10:09Yes, I'm here.
10:13I'm here.
10:15I'm here.
10:17I'm here.
10:20Nothing at all? Not even part-time therapy?
10:24Well, I'll stay in touch. Bye-bye.
10:28So, no job yet, eh?
10:31No, unfortunately.
10:33Still, tragedies happen every day.
10:36I mustn't give up hope.
10:41I wish you'd consider staying here with us.
10:44I don't know how Dad's going to manage without you.
10:46He doesn't need me any more.
10:48Nonsense. I know he puts on a brave front,
10:51but the plain truth is the man is practically an invalid.
10:54All right, come back here.
10:56What's he got now?
10:58Oh, my sneaker. You give me that back
11:00or I'm not taking you for your speed walk.
11:06Oh, hi, Frazier.
11:08Hi, Dad. Hi, Niles.
11:09Forgive me. I know how annoying it can be to drop by without calling first.
11:12Don't worry. I used to do it all the time.
11:14That's how I know.
11:15Hello, Eddie.
11:17A little surprise for you.
11:18Something you left at the house.
11:20There we are.
11:24Oh.
11:31Don't worry, Niles.
11:33You'll get used to it.
11:36Oh, and Dad, I've got a little surprise for you as well.
11:40Just a minute.
11:42All right, boys, bring it on in here.
11:44Oh, great. Here it is.
11:46Now this place is starting to look like home.
11:49Yes, and finally so is mine.
11:51Well, I'm just going to go finish unpacking.
11:54Well, you just follow him up with that.
11:56Oh, no, no. Leave it there.
11:57That way I won't get my pizza cheese all over your fancy chairs.
12:01Doesn't the cheese go in your mouth?
12:03Well, it's certainly the goal, Niles,
12:05but you can't hit their bullseye every time.
12:10Okay, this isn't working out. You have to take him back, Tom.
12:13Niles, he's only been here for eight hours.
12:15I don't care.
12:16I only signed on for this because Daphne came in the bargain
12:19and now she's leaving and, Fraser, you have to help me.
12:21I'm desperate.
12:22Niles, which wall should I hang my swordfish on?
12:25None of them! I just had that room frescoed!
12:32Dad.
12:33Thanks, Ronnie. You're a lifesaver.
12:35Bye-bye.
12:37Well, good news on the employment front?
12:39Yes, a friend of mine just got me an interview.
12:42An elderly woman suffering from brittle bone disease, a poor thing.
12:46Well, normally I'd say break a leg, but...
12:51Oh, I'm going to miss you.
12:53All of you.
12:56Like I told your brother, there's simply no reason for me to stay
13:00as long as your father's so strong and healthy.
13:06Oh, dear God.
13:10Oh, my God, Dad!
13:11Are you all right?
13:12Yes, but what happened?
13:14I don't know.
13:15Oh, we just got tangled up there.
13:18Dad, I am so sorry.
13:20Don't worry about it. It was an accident.
13:23Well, you do seem to be in one piece.
13:25Still, it was an awfully big fall. Dr. Crane, would you help me get some ice?
13:28Good thing, Daphne. I know I could use a drink.
13:35Boy, that was so weird.
13:38Niles just kicked my cane out right from under me.
13:47Yeah, I know he wants to keep Daphne around here,
13:50but I didn't think he'd go that far.
13:53Well, no, not deliberately, but...
13:56maybe he was acting on an unconscious level.
13:59What are you talking about? I was just making a joke.
14:03Oh, well, then just skip it, dear.
14:05No, no! Wait a minute.
14:07You don't think Niles was actually trying to hurt me?
14:10No, no. It's just that sometimes...
14:14when the motivation is strong enough,
14:17the unconscious can cause a person to act in ways
14:20that the conscious would find unthinkable.
14:22So you're saying that this wasn't an accident?
14:26Oh, goodness. It's a crazy theory.
14:29I'm sorry I even brought it up.
14:31You know what? I, uh...
14:33I think I'll be off now.
14:35Off to my bachelor pad.
14:37I have a date tonight with a lingerie model.
14:40Ha, ha, ha.
14:42Bachelor pad, lingerie model.
14:45The sweetest words in the English language.
14:49I'm sorry I won't be there.
14:51Wait! We have a tie.
14:57All right, Mr. Crane, I need you to take a seat
14:59so I can ask you here.
15:01Oh, I'm fine.
15:02Why is everybody making such a big fuss?
15:05Wait! Don't sit down!
15:07You nearly impaled yourself.
15:10Oh, thank you, Daphne.
15:12I don't know what it is about these things.
15:14They keep ending up in the oddest places.
15:33DOOR SLAMS SHUT
15:39LAUGHTER
15:51LAUGHTER
15:57Oh.
16:00Ah.
16:06PHONE RINGS
16:08Hi, Frasier, it's Rebecca.
16:10Your voice sounds so sexy on your machine.
16:13Anyway, I loved talking to you this afternoon,
16:16and I was thinking,
16:18instead of going to a noisy restaurant,
16:20maybe we could just stay in tonight,
16:23open some wine, curl up in front of the fire.
16:27Just a warning, though, I'm coming straight from a shoot,
16:30so I'll be wearing my work clothes.
16:33I can't believe I said that.
16:35Bye.
16:57DOOR SLAMS SHUT
17:07PHONE RINGS
17:09Hi, Frasier, it's Rebecca.
17:11LAUGHTER
17:13Your voice sounds so sexy on your machine.
17:15Anyway, I loved talking to you...
17:21Boy, the floors around here are so slippery.
17:24Yes, I just had them polished.
17:26Well, I wish you would have told me.
17:28Eddie just slid into a wall and chipped his tooth.
17:32Now he whistles when he breathes.
17:39Well, Dad, I can assure you there'll be no slipping in here.
17:43Look.
17:45A brand-new safety rail installed just for you,
17:48and, as requested, traction decals.
17:51Well, I don't have to worry about falling...
17:55LAUGHTER
17:57Oh! Dad, are you OK?
17:59Wow, yes, a good thing I wasn't in the shower.
18:02I could have cracked my head open.
18:04Oh, Dad, I guess I'm not much of a handyman, am I?
18:09LAUGHTER
18:13You put this thing up yourself?
18:15Yes, my contractor was out of town.
18:17Don't worry.
18:19You can use my bathroom to shower.
18:21We know when you do, the plumbing's a bit temperamental,
18:24and if I were to run the dishwasher, you might be horribly scalded.
18:29You know, I took an extra-long shower yesterday, you know?
18:32That ought to hold me.
18:38You sure you don't need a hand?
18:40Just keep moving.
18:45Guess what.
18:47I got the job. I can't believe it has started in the morning.
18:50What? I'll tell you all about it later.
18:52I have to call my employment agency right away.
19:02I can't let her leave. I just can't.
19:04Well, there's nothing we can do about it.
19:07I still have a day.
19:10I just have to be more resourceful.
19:12Like how?
19:16It's my problem, not yours.
19:18Just have to think.
19:21Fresh air. Maybe that'll calm me down.
19:24Oh, look at the sunset.
19:28Dad, come join me on the balcony.
19:34Henry, get out of here, quick!
19:36Come on! Come on! Come on!
19:38Come on!
19:48DOORBELL RINGS
20:09Dad!
20:12What are you doing here?
20:14We gotta talk.
20:15Now? It's not a good time.
20:17It's getting spooky over at Niles's.
20:19Yes, yes, I know it's a little unsettling the way he changes into that Chinese dressing gown after dinner,
20:23but you'll get used to it. Go on.
20:24No, no, no. I think his unconscious is trying to hurt me.
20:28Oh, that is preposterous.
20:29No, it isn't!
20:30Can't we talk about this in the morning? Believe me,
20:32there is no way your own flesh and blood would try to hurt you.
20:35Oh!
20:36Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
20:38Well, please let me get Eddie's pillow out of my room.
20:41All right, all right, but just hurry it up, will you?
20:44DOORBELL RINGS
20:48DOORBELL RINGS
20:58Daddy?
21:02What is going on?
21:04I hope I'm not catching you at a bad time.
21:06Well, actually, I'm waiting for a date.
21:08I've just run in and out.
21:10I need to pick up my exercise mat.
21:14Oh, good Lord. Is everything all right?
21:17I'm sorry. I think I'm just a bit nervous about my new job.
21:21Yes.
21:22I'll be all right.
21:23Yes.
21:24I just wish... I just wish I didn't miss being here so much.
21:28Oh, oh, Daphne, oh, I'm sorry.
21:31Listen, you're going to be just fine.
21:34You know, transitions are always difficult.
21:37DOORBELL RINGS
21:38The trick is just not to rush them.
21:45DOORBELL RINGS
21:57Niles!
22:00What the hell are you doing here?
22:02I'm going out of my mind.
22:04I am this close to living under the same roof as Daphne.
22:06If I could...
22:07All right, Niles, before you go on, let me say one thing.
22:09What is it?
22:10Get out!
22:11I mean, I need to talk about this, Niles!
22:13Niles!
22:14Daphne!
22:15Why did you run off? I've been looking for you everywhere.
22:17No, Niles, stay away from me.
22:19What?
22:20Now, Niles, I'm not mad at you, just your unconscious.
22:23It wants Daphne to stay around so bad that it's been trying to hurt me.
22:27What?
22:28Well, in fact, you can explain it better.
22:31Exactly who is hurting whom and what does any of this have to do with...
22:36Daphne.
22:37Oh, look.
22:38We're all together again, just like old times.
22:43Oh, dear. Oh, God.
22:45Oh, well, we certainly do have a lot to talk about.
22:48I tell you what, let's all meet at Niles' for breakfast tomorrow.
22:51I'm not getting in the elevator with him.
22:53All right, Dad, Daphne, go and shift. Then you first.
22:55All right.
22:56Go on.
22:58You two, shake a leg, mister. Let's go!
23:00Right now!
23:01Move it, baby! Move it!
23:07You actually convinced Dad I was trying to harm him?
23:10Oh, Niles, I did no such thing.
23:12I simply advanced a theory. I had no idea he would take it to heart.
23:15Oh, balderdash.
23:17Oh, please, Niles. Surely it's occurred to you that your desire for Daphne is forcing you to behave in very strange ways.
23:23Or do you shove Dad down the stairs every day?
23:26That was an accident!
23:28Oh, Niles, any psychiatrist worth his salt knows that there are no accidents.
23:33No one would do something like that, however unconsciously, unless they stood to gain from it.
23:40Oh, dear.
23:43Oh, my God!
23:44Oh, thank God!
23:46We're here to help you.
23:48What did you kick my cane for?
23:50It was an accident. I was playing with Eddie.
23:53My hip's killing me!
23:55Dad, don't worry about it. Niles has a nice, comfy bed you can recuperate in.
23:59I can't go up and down those stairs now!
24:02I think the best thing would be for him to stay with you again for the time being.
24:05He'll need full-time attention. I'll cancel my job, right?
24:08All right, just hold it!
24:10Nobody's canceling anything!
24:12For God's sake, the man built out a flight of stairs today.
24:15He could hardly have been hurt worse, stumbling in a carpeted hallway.
24:19All right, now get up, you big crybaby. No pain, no gain.
24:22Oh, no, but it hurts!
24:23Dad, boo-hoo! I want you out of here! I don't care if you have to crawl like a frog turtle!
24:29Oh...
24:31Rebecca!
24:34I didn't see you standing there.
24:38Why don't you just step on over to my father and help yourself to some wine?
24:42What kind of a heartless bastard are you?
24:46No, no, Rebecca, you don't understand. It's not the way it looks.
24:50He's very resilient. He's been shot before!
24:59Dr Crane, we really should get him inside.
25:03Yes. Just give me... a moment.
25:08Oh...
25:38All right, bring him in.
26:08Well, maybe. But I got you pegged.
26:14But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:21They're calling again.
26:24Good night!