Frasier Season 6 Episode 5 First Do No Harm
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00:00Dr. Crane, I just wanted to tell you how much I miss your show.
00:05Oh, well, thank you so much. I miss it too.
00:08Yes, the brisk exchange of ideas, the crackling interplay between me and my callers.
00:15Uh-huh.
00:20Oh, you're very kind.
00:23See that, Ross? The public still craves the kind of excitement that only Frasier Crane can provide.
00:30Ross.
00:35I am so sorry. The baby kept me up all night long last night.
00:39I'm trying to get her used to her crib, but she just hates to sleep alone.
00:44Well, the acorn certainly doesn't fall far from the...
00:47I have got to wake up. I'm on my way to an interview.
00:52I'd kill for a cup of regular coffee, but I'm still nursing, so I can't.
00:57You know, it was just all I could do to get myself dressed and then feed the baby this morning.
01:03Yes, well, next time maybe you should try feeding first and dressing second.
01:08Oh, my God. How did I miss this?
01:11Well, on the plus side, it does divert the eye from the blueberries in your teeth.
01:17What? I can't go to this interview like this.
01:20Of course you can.
01:21Oh, I'm just going to call and cancel.
01:23Oh, Ross, no, please. Just look. Check your teeth. Yes, put your jacket on.
01:26And I swear you'll look every inch the smart career gal on the go.
01:31There.
01:32Thanks, Frasier.
01:33Hey, Ross. Is that the newest thing? Wearing two different shoes?
01:36Oh, my God.
01:40Hi, Dad. So, what brings you here?
01:43Well, I thought you needed a little cheering up. You've been kind of mopey lately.
01:47Well, I had kind of a rough night at the wine club.
01:51During the blindfolded tasting, I gave four stars to a Mexican's infidel.
01:59Well, I don't just mean last night. I mean, you've been kind of down ever since you lost your job, you know?
02:04And, uh, you haven't had a date in I don't know how long.
02:07Yes, well, I know how long, and this isn't the way to cheer me up.
02:10Well, don't worry. I found a girl for you. Now, Duke's daughter Marie just moved back in town.
02:15Dad, blind dates remain the refuge of the lovelorn.
02:18You know, if you didn't talk like that, you might not have to get set up so much.
02:22Now, listen. She's not a blind date. You know Marie. You spent a week with her at the lake.
02:27She was six years old.
02:29Well, Duke said she's grown into a real looker.
02:31Yes, but I have seen Duke.
02:33And unless he sired a love child with Catherine Deneuve, I don't like my odds.
02:40Uncle Martin.
02:41Oh, Marie. Look at you. You remember Frasier.
02:47Bonjour.
02:58I don't know when I've had such a delicious meal. You really made this dessert yourself?
03:03Well, yes. A little something I like to call creme brulee.
03:12You always were a gourmet.
03:14Even at the lake, whenever we had fish sticks, you insisted on white grape juice.
03:24Is everything all right there?
03:28Oh, it's just a little quirk of mine. I like to keep things straight.
03:34You know, in parallel lines.
03:36Yes, I noticed that earlier with the asparagus.
03:41It's weird. I know. It used to drive my mother crazy.
03:44Well, you know, we all have our little idiosyncrasies. How is your mother anyway?
03:48Still on my case. After the divorce, things just got worse.
03:59Oh, I'm doing it again, aren't I? I'm sorry I'll stop.
04:05Look.
04:06Look.
04:09Anyway, I haven't figured out how to have a normal relationship with her.
04:13Well, you know, we're all striving to have what we call normal relationships, but who really knows what normal is?
04:20You can move it back now.
04:26What do you say we have our wine out on the balcony?
04:29The balcony?
04:30Yes. You haven't had a chance to see the view.
04:33Oh, wow. That is some view all right. Beautiful.
04:42You're afraid of heights, aren't you?
04:44I'm taking classes.
04:48They give us these exercises to do. They just work better when you're standing on a little milk crate.
04:56Oh, I must seem totally neurotic.
05:00Not at all.
05:03I guess I'm going a little nuts since I moved back in with my dad. Thank God I'm getting my own place next week.
05:09Oh, yes. Well, I suspect that will help a lot.
05:11You know, very often the key to mental health is distancing ourselves from our parents.
05:17I'm home.
05:24Sorry to barge in on you kids.
05:26That's all right. Why don't you join us for dessert?
05:29Well, thanks anyway, but I had crane brulee for lunch.
05:35Well, I did a little dry run earlier. I wanted to make sure my caramelizer wasn't on the fridge.
05:40Yeah, I was pretty proud the first time you brought that blowtorch home.
05:44Until I saw what it was for.
05:46Dad!
05:47Oh, no. I'm only joking. She knows that.
05:51He's a great kid, Marie.
05:53I mean, sure.
05:54Well, he's got a lot of work now, but, you know, he's hit the skids a lot of times, and he always manages to bounce right back up.
06:01I think you've sprinkled enough pixie dust for one evening, Dad. Thank you.
06:04Okay, okay. All right.
06:08Well, how about you two?
06:10I should probably get going, too.
06:12All right.
06:14Thank you for a great evening.
06:17And for all the wonderful advice. It was very insightful.
06:21You're quite welcome, Marie.
06:23Perhaps you can offer me a little insight as well.
06:30Will this be our only night together, or will I see you again?
06:35Well, you're pretty good at interpreting things.
06:38Maybe this will answer your question.
06:50Oh.
06:54Well, then you have a nice life.
07:02And just as this hunter catches up to me and is about to kill me, I wake up on the cot in my dad's oak-paneled rumpus room.
07:12That is a terrifying nightmare.
07:16Are there any other figures in the rumpus room?
07:19No, that's not part of the dream.
07:21No, that's not part of the dream. I really sleep there.
07:24Oh.
07:26I wish I didn't have to go. Can we talk more about this after the museum tonight?
07:30Oh, of course. I thought it was the opera tonight.
07:33No, the museum opening. You promised me in the shower this morning, remember?
07:37Yes.
07:39Well, I was under duress. You had a loofah to my head.
07:51Oh, Miles, we just missed Duke's daughter.
07:54I saw. Is it possible that's the same little girl we used to refer to as the ugly dukeling?
08:05She's stunning.
08:07Isn't she, though? You know, the insecure part of me has trouble figuring out why she's going out with me.
08:14She could have a pick of men.
08:17I am a little older. I haven't been to the gym as often as I should.
08:20You can feel free to contradict me any time you like.
08:24You must have something, because she's clearly charmed by you.
08:27Yes, well, whatever the reason, we certainly have the most wonderful time together.
08:33We have the greatest discussions.
08:35Oh, I've been helping her sort through some of her issues.
08:37Oh, really?
08:38Yes. It's a very complex relationship with her mother.
08:42I've given rise to several striking phobias and a recurring dream.
08:47Well, the most charming little obsessive-compulsive disorder.
08:52Oh, well, there you go.
08:55Perhaps she's attracted to you because of your psychiatric expertise.
09:00Well, what are you suggesting now? Is it Marie's going out with me just to get free therapy?
09:05Well, it was just a thought. It's a mean-spirited thought.
09:09Is she using me? She wouldn't want me just as much even if I were a psychiatrist.
09:13You know, you're jealous. You're jealous that I'm having sex.
09:17Jealous that I'm having hot, passionate, sweaty jungle sex. What are you having?
09:26I'm having a latte.
09:34Will this be all right for you?
09:36Is there enough light here for you to see her?
09:39Yeah, I'm telling you, Phil, she's really cute.
09:42You'll see for yourself in a couple of minutes.
09:45Oh, wait. She's coming in now. I've got to go.
09:52Hey, Daphne, how's it going?
09:54Fine.
09:55Good.
09:56What are you so chipper about?
09:57Oh, nothing. It's a beautiful night out.
10:01Say, why don't you come out and have a look at the moon with me?
10:04Why is it full?
10:06I don't know.
10:09All right.
10:16It's beautiful, isn't it?
10:17Oh, yeah. Very romantic.
10:20Oh, no, wait. Come here. Come here. I've got to show you something else, too. Over here.
10:25Oh, look at that. The way the moonbeams bounce off that reflecting pool.
10:31Oh, yeah, that's really something.
10:39What are you doing?
10:40Nothing.
10:41Yes, you are.
10:42I'm not. I'm not.
10:43Yes, you are. You're signaling to someone.
10:46Well, all right. I did such a good job with Frasier, I thought maybe I could fix you up with some nice guy.
10:53Is he that man up there with the binoculars?
10:56Yeah, isn't that a great building? It does real well. He owns half that floor.
11:00Oh, Mr. Crane, I'm not believing. Putting me on display like a bloody concubine.
11:06Well, you get a turn, too. I got this telescope set up so you can have a look at him.
11:12See, he likes you.
11:14Hello.
11:16Yeah, well, I told you she was pretty.
11:20What do you mean? Can I show you another one? What do you think I'm running here?
11:25So there I am, actually biting the fingernails of the same hand that's holding the phone not two minutes after a moment with my mother.
11:34Isn't that so revealing?
11:36Well, yes. Yes, I'd say it is.
11:40Is everything okay, Frasier? You seem a little quiet.
11:45No, no, I was just so enjoying our museum chat, I was wondering how we got on to the subject of mothers.
11:54Well, it was a Whistler exhibit.
12:00Yes, yes, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a bit tense.
12:05Oh, why didn't you say something? I'll give you a little massage.
12:08Oh, really? Well, all right, if you think that'll help.
12:14It's such an amazing feeling being in the presence of so much beauty.
12:19Yes, well, you say that now and in six weeks you'll be telling me to lose weight.
12:28The Whistler, I know, I know.
12:31Isn't it great that we both enjoy art so much? I could just talk about it all night.
12:36Me too.
12:38Oh, you know, I couldn't help noticing you staring at that river scape.
12:44You couldn't take your eyes off of it.
12:46Yeah, I think it's because it reminded me of my recurring dream.
12:51You know, we were going to talk more about that.
12:54Oh, yes, yes.
12:57The dream being pursued by the hunter and the arrows.
13:01Yeah.
13:03Well, you know, I'm not really feeling up to talking about it right now.
13:10Do you think we could do it some other night?
13:12Oh, all right.
13:20What did you think of the river scape?
13:22Oh, well, I enjoyed it. I was also enjoying what you were doing just now.
13:27Oh, I'm sorry. My hands were just getting a little bit of a cramp.
13:32Oh, well, then let me do you, then.
13:34Oh, actually, it's getting late. You know, maybe I should get home.
13:38Are you going to spend the night?
13:39Oh, I'd like to, but I have an early morning and I hate to rush.
13:44I had a great evening tonight.
13:46You know, about that dream, I did have one thought.
13:52Really?
13:53Yes.
13:55Forest imagery very often represents our most primal emotions.
14:03Hence its frequent use in fairy tales, which could be a link to your childhood.
14:09You are so good at this.
14:13Much better than my therapist.
14:15You have a therapist?
14:16Oh, not anymore. Who can afford it?
14:20Anyway, you know, my hands are feeling much better.
14:24Why don't we give that massage another shot?
14:26Oh, yeah.
14:28So I noticed that I often have this dream right after I talk to my mother.
14:33Boy, your muscles are so tense.
14:37Is it just your neck or all over?
14:40It's all over.
14:50Frasier! Frasier!
14:52You will not believe this.
14:54Little Alice said her first word today.
14:56It was ma, or it may have been moo.
14:59Mary, that's the sitter, gave her this little toy cow.
15:02She's always doing stuff like that.
15:04I love Mary.
15:05I love this little cow, too.
15:08It's the cutest little thing.
15:09It's brown and white.
15:11Well, that's a Jersey cow, right?
15:12Well, that's where Mary's from, Jersey.
15:13Yeah, I'll take a splash more.
15:18You know, I stopped nursing yesterday, and boy, have I missed this stuff.
15:22Cup of mud, Java, my old friend, Joe.
15:25Oh, that's funny. Mary's husband's name is Joe.
15:27Oh, my God, he's picking her up.
15:28I got to go.
15:29This has been fun.
15:30You look great.
15:31Nice talking with you.
15:40Frasier, may I join you?
15:41Well, of course, nice.
15:43Andrew, I'm sorry about yesterday.
15:47No, no, I'm the one who should be apologizing.
15:49I never meant to suggest that Mary was...
15:52No, Mary and I broke up.
15:56I'm sorry.
15:57Did she at least give you a reason?
16:00I broke up with her, but thank you for the daily shot in the arm of confidence.
16:05Just talk to Duke.
16:06What the hell did you break up with Mary for?
16:08Dan, listen, I am terribly sorry.
16:10I don't mean to cause a rift between you and your friend, but I couldn't continue with it.
16:14You see, once I confirmed that Mary was primarily interested in me as a sounding board for her problems,
16:20I just had to end it, just as Niall suggested I should.
16:24I never suggested that.
16:27Well, no, all I said was that one of the things she might appreciate about you is your psychiatric expertise.
16:34For heaven's sake, if you were a world-class chef, she'd appreciate your cooking.
16:38If you were a stand-up comedian, she'd appreciate your jokes.
16:41If you were a dermatologist, she'd have a big growth coming out of her face.
16:44Yes, Dad, I get it.
16:48I am sorry, but if you had let the relationship continue,
16:51she might have found other things that she'd appreciate about you just as much.
16:56You know, maybe there's still time to win her back.
16:58Well, it'd take a pretty big bouquet of flowers to do that.
17:01I don't know, Dad, maybe if I just explained to her what really happened, she'll forgive me.
17:05Sometimes the best apology is the truth.
17:07What, you mean you're going to tell her you thought she was prostituting herself for therapy,
17:11but now you've decided that's okay?
17:18Well, not that truth, some other truth.
17:30Good evening, Dad.
17:31Hey, you two, how was dinner?
17:33It was great.
17:34I went to my favorite restaurant, this little Korean barbecue place.
17:38Yes, it's just fabulous.
17:39You get to cook your own food on this little grill that's right in the center of the table.
17:44It splatters a little bit, but you know, that's what makes it fun.
17:47Well, clearly you had a marvelous time.
17:52Oh, hello again.
17:53Yes.
17:54Hi, Niles.
17:55If we're going to go away this weekend, I should make reservations.
17:57Right.
17:58I tell you what, just use the phone in my bedroom.
18:00I'll be in in a minute.
18:01Actually, just thinking about getting away is making me feel more relaxed already.
18:16She has a little problem with heights.
18:17I saw that.
18:19Well, I'm sure glad you guys patched things up.
18:21Anyway, you know, Duke and I go back a long way.
18:25I got a lot of friends, but there's something I get from Duke that I don't get from anybody else.
18:30Seahawks tickets.
18:31I don't think that S.O.B. wasn't ready to pull them either.
18:39Dad dragged me to one of those Korean barbecues once.
18:43Had that suit dry-cleaned three times, and he still greets me in a carnivorous frenzy every time I wear it.
18:51As well, the next time me and I go out for dinner, I'm going to pick a restaurant, preferably one where the stove gets its own room.
19:00She certainly seems smitten with you.
19:02Yes, she certainly does, doesn't she?
19:05I'm quite captivated with her.
19:07You know, I can't put my finger on exactly why, but, well, I'm just glad things are going well for you.
19:13Are they ever.
19:16I find her more enchanting each day.
19:18Oh, you know what, and I am particularly intrigued by this recurring dream she has.
19:24She's in the woods.
19:26She's being pursued by a hunter.
19:28And get this, when she turns to confront the pursuer, the hunter has no face.
19:34Fascinating.
19:35I'm determined to get to the bottom of it.
19:36I'm sure it would shed some light on her mother issues and this fear of heights.
19:40Oh, God, and I've just discovered that she absolutely refuses to touch a doorknob with her bare hand.
19:47Thanks to my natural chivalry, I missed that for a whole week.
19:52Is that all you talk about, her problems?
19:55Well, no, no, we talk about lots of things.
19:59Art, the theatre.
20:02Why?
20:03Oh, it's just a passing thought.
20:05Well, pass it over here.
20:08Well, you were asking what most captivated you about her.
20:12Perhaps she's giving you a chance to exercise your psychiatric muscles.
20:16What?
20:17Well, you have been out of work for a while.
20:20Niles.
20:22Marie is a stunning woman with a body to die for and you think all I'm interested in is her mind?
20:28How shallow do you think I am?
20:34Well, there's no need to get defensive. There's not a problem.
20:37Unless she's falling in love with you and you're only interested in her as a case study.
20:44I assure you I'm interested in all aspects of Marie.
20:47Not just her psyche.
20:49For God's sake, you know, I could happily go for weeks without discussing it once.
20:53Glad to hear it.
20:54Well, thank you.
20:56If you'll excuse me, I have someone waiting for me in the other room.
21:02Oh, dear God! Unhand me, you wretch!
21:05Oh, you vile creature! Oh, for God's sake, you miserable...
21:10Niles, please! Throw him a leather snap!
21:18You're a legendary...
21:24My father's best friend.
21:27Well, after your father.
21:30We're all booked for this weekend.
21:32There's a lake, hiking. Sounds like a perfect place to relax.
21:35You know, I do love the country. It's so relaxing.
21:38I swear to God, I'm out like a light as soon as my head hits the pillow.
21:42Then we'll have to ask for a room with no pillows.
21:47Oh, that reminds me. I had that dream again.
21:50But this time I saw the hunter's face.
21:54Really?
21:55Yeah. You'll never guess who it was.
21:58Who? No, no.
22:01Something wrong?
22:02No, it's just that, you know, I'd really rather not discuss the dream right now.
22:06Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. Like you even care who the hunter is right now.
22:11Yes, well, there's so many other things I'm more interested in.
22:17Yeah, that's better, isn't it?
22:18Yeah.
22:20Do you feel relaxed?
22:21Uh-huh.
22:24Was it your sister?
22:27What?
22:28The hunter. It was your sister, wasn't it?
22:31No. I thought you didn't want to talk about this.
22:34Oh, God, you're right. You're right. I don't. I really, I really don't.
22:38I'd much rather be exploring other things right now, like your lips.
22:44And your chin.
22:47And your neck.
22:49Oh, keep going.
22:53Oh, for God's sake, who was it?
22:57What is with you?
22:59I just have to know.
23:01Okay. It was me.
23:04Of course it was.
23:06Of course it was.
23:10The hunter represents your feelings of anger and abandonment
23:13that you've been running from ever since your parents' divorce.
23:16Until now, you've been able to avoid those painful arrows,
23:19sometimes seeking refuge in the forest of repression.
23:23Now, your willingness to identify the hunter
23:26signals that you are now ready to reintegrate these complex emotions
23:31into a more cohesive self.
23:34Wow! It's all so clear now.
23:38It certainly is.
23:43That was amazing. I'm so glad I gave you a second chance.
23:46Oh, Marie, I...
23:49Please, don't apologize.
23:51Maybe someday it'll be some funny story we tell our grandkids
23:54the time Grandpa broke up with Grandma.
24:00Actually, Grandma...
24:03Yes?
24:05I'm afraid this isn't going to work.
24:10What?
24:13Us. I'm afraid that...
24:16Wait a minute. Am I crazy or are you breaking up with me again?
24:21Well, they're not completely unrelated.
24:27You see...
24:28You see...
24:33You are a beautiful young woman,
24:35and I have really enjoyed tackling some of these issues with you.
24:38It's just that I don't think that's the basis for a relationship.
24:41I think you deserve someone who appreciates all you have to offer.
24:44I don't believe this.
24:45I just feel more like your therapist than your boyfriend.
24:48But I thought we were having such a good time together.
24:54I'm afraid our time is up.
24:58What?
25:04This weekend's game? Oh, yeah, I want him, Duke.
25:07Seahawks Chiefs? Are you kidding?
25:10I'll pick him up tomorrow.
25:12Hey, wouldn't it be a kick if we wound up in-laws?
25:15Go to hell!
25:17Oh, hold on a sec.
25:18Good. Embrace the anger. It's the best way to mental health.
25:22I don't need health tips from you, you quack.
25:26Well, I think you've made some real progress in the time we've been together.
25:29Oh, don't flatter yourself.
25:34I have the name of a specialist.
25:36Call him yourself!
25:39Hey, Duke, I'm gonna be kind of busy tomorrow.
25:42Maybe you could just drop those tickets in the mail right now so you don't forget.
25:57Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling
25:59Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:03Quite stylish
26:05And maybe I seem a bit confused
26:08Well, maybe
26:09But I got you pegged
26:14But I don't know what to do
26:16With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:21They're calling again
26:24Goodnight, Seattle, we love you!