Frasier Season 4 Episode 5 Head Game
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00:00So I decided it was time I got to know some of my colleagues in the media.
00:04But a convention?
00:06You've never shown any interest before.
00:08I've never held one in Aspen before.
00:11Just think, hundreds of radio psychiatrists, all in the same location.
00:17One well-timed avalanche, and the dignity of the entire psychiatric profession could be restored.
00:22Good work.
00:29We always count on you for some witty retort.
00:32I insult you and you compliment me. Could the request for a favor be far behind?
00:37Damn! You are perceptive.
00:39Oh, stop it.
00:41Oh, all right.
00:43Listen, I would like you to do my show for me for the week I'm gone.
00:47Me standing in for you?
00:50I'm sorry, Fraser, I couldn't presume to fill those big floppy red shoes of yours.
00:57But please, please, Niles, look, I'm begging you.
01:00There's another station that wants to replace me with Helen Grogan, better known as Ma Nature.
01:04She does a gardening show, and I'm just a little worried that a week of discussing well-rotted manure will weaken my listener base.
01:14It hasn't yet.
01:19Very well.
01:21You leave me no alternative but to call in my marker.
01:29What marker?
01:32Oh, I think you know.
01:37You wouldn't.
01:38I would.
01:39You can't.
01:40I will.
01:41That was three years ago.
01:43I don't recall there being any statute of limitations.
01:48I simply recall that when you asked me to go out with Maris's sister, you said that you would owe me one forever.
01:57But you only spent one evening with Brie.
02:01That hardly compares to what you're asking me to endure.
02:04Oh, shall I refresh your memory?
02:10Midway through the opera, her ermine mouth began to tremble.
02:16As it turned out, she had used it to smuggle in her adorably incontinent chihuahua.
02:23Just as I thought we'd reached the low point of the evening, I suddenly felt a sandpaper tongue licking my earlobe.
02:31Alas, it did not belong to little Hervé.
02:38Fortunately, my shriek coincided with the onstage murder of Gondolfo.
02:45Rose would expect you on Monday at two.
02:51For your information, Brie had a very tough row to hoe growing up.
02:55It's not easy going through life with only one nostril.
03:02I imagine she had a cold that night.
03:10Monday at two it is.
03:17And now we're at the point where all communication is broken down. He won't even listen to me.
03:23Linda?
03:24Do you know how annoying that is, not to be listened to?
03:27Linda?
03:28It's driving me crazy. I was hoping maybe you would speak to him directly.
03:33Excuse me one moment.
03:36Thank you for the brilliant job of call screening, Rose. How do I get out of this?
03:40Did you ever think of saying there are other callers on the line?
03:45Linda, I'd love to go into this in more depth, but unfortunately we're nearly out of time and Rose has lots of other callers waiting anxiously on the line.
03:53Actually, Dr. Crane, all lines are open.
03:58So you can talk to him? Good. I'm putting him on the line right now. Go ahead.
04:04All right.
04:06Marie, you're dealing with your problem in a very self-destructive manner.
04:10It won't be solved by refusing to eat. Do you hear me?
04:19Oh, my God. It's working. He's eating. Dr. Crane, what did you say to him?
04:25Well, I'd like to tell you, but that would violate Dr. Cat confidentiality.
04:31Oh, well, Seattle, I'm afraid we're out of time. This is Dr. Niles Crane, one down, four to go. See you tomorrow.
04:41That little bit of sabotage was not amusing.
04:44Why did coffee come out of my nose?
04:50Hey, Dr. Doolittle, I heard your show. It didn't suck.
04:57Your diary.
04:59So how's it feel?
05:01Like I'm walking away from my lamppost and counting the bills in my garter belt.
05:07Okay. Before you get out of here, I got to set up for my show.
05:12I got Reggie McLemore on my show today. Don't ask me why. I wasn't even going to ask who.
05:18He's a guard with the Sonics.
05:20He used to be unstoppable. Twenty points a game. Easy.
05:23Now he's in a tank. Just what I need on my show. A loser.
05:27Oh, look, there he is now. What an overpaid, worthless piece of...
05:31Hey, Reggie, my man!
05:33What's up?
05:37You never call me unless you need tickets, man. What's up with that?
05:43I love this guy!
05:46Reggie McLemore. Reis Doyle.
05:49Hi. I'm a big fan of yours.
05:52Thanks.
05:53I'd introduce you to this guy, but he doesn't know squat about sports.
05:57On the contrary. In prep school, I was an ardent sportsman.
06:01Until an inflamed instep forced me to resign from the croquet club.
06:09I'll see myself out.
06:11Wait a minute. You're the shrink. I heard you in my car on the way over.
06:16Dr. Niles Crane. It's a pleasure.
06:19Hey, you sounded like you really know what you were talking about.
06:22Anyway, there's this little problem I've been having, and I was wondering if maybe you could help me out.
06:28What is it?
06:30Well, you see, for the last two weeks, every time I get my hands on the pill, I choke.
06:38Well, have you tried mashing it with a spoon?
06:43You don't watch much basketball, do you?
06:46It's my game, man. Because of me, we've lost six in a row.
06:50Oh, well, I'm not very well versed in sports psychology, but I could certainly schedule a session.
06:56No, no, I need something fast, man. We got Phoenix tonight.
07:00This is highly irregular, but since you're pressed, there are some exercises I could suggest.
07:05Oh, great, man. Thanks, man. Hey, you know what? Just name the tickets to any game you want.
07:09Nothing wrong with your sense of humor. Have a seat.
07:13We'll start with a positive visualization. I want you to close your eyes. Take a deep breath.
07:20Good. Now, I want you to imagine yourself on the playing surface, doing whatever it is you actually do.
07:30Tell me what you see.
07:34Okay. Kemp's passing me the ball. I'm bringing it up court. I'm dribbling. Don't worry about your appearance.
07:46Start again, and I'll just be quiet.
07:51Can I ask you a favor?
07:53Yeah, forget it. He's married.
07:55Hey, that's pretty offensive. Why do you assume that's what I wanted?
08:00Okay, then. What did you want?
08:03Well, I don't know. I just wanted to...
08:05Time's up.
08:08Oh, by the way, if you're so hungry for some good-looking athletic guy, why won't you go out with me?
08:15If you're not at least this tall, you can't go on this ride.
08:22This next exercise is designed to block negative feelings. I've tried it myself.
08:27Simply take a moment. Think of something comforting from childhood.
08:31A stuffed animal. A dog-eared copy of Middlemarch.
08:37You may have other memories.
08:39Come on, crazy. Take it.
08:41Oh, I've got to run. Thanks a lot, Doc. I'll give it a try.
08:45Okay. Oh, wait. I saw this. It has steps, right?
08:52Later, then.
08:55You know, according to this...
08:57No, quiet. No, that's three seconds. Come on. He's camping out in the middle.
09:03No, don't double the ball. I'm just swinging around for a three.
09:08There it is. Just like I said.
09:14Oh, time out. Sure. Now you listen to me.
09:20Do you believe this?
09:23Do you believe this? Two minutes ago, we were up six points.
09:26Shh, quiet. This is my favourite commercial.
09:31No, don't pick that floor cleaner. It'll give your floors waxy build-up.
09:37No, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't.
09:45It's completely different.
09:48Says Dr Crane.
09:50It'll be a pleasure to be around one man who's not obsessed with sports.
09:56Hello, Daphne.
09:58Oh, the Sonic's gone. Excuse me.
10:01So, Daph...
10:02No, hold it, Al. There's only nine seconds to go.
10:04What's the score?
10:05Well, what do you care?
10:07No, get it to McLemore. To McLemore. He's got the hot hand.
10:11Yes. Come on, Reggie.
10:14Unbelievable. Sonic's win.
10:17This is fantastic.
10:19No, wait, wait, wait. I want to see the replay.
10:22Now get it to McLemore.
10:24Unbelievable.
10:29You know, Dad, you might be interested to know...
10:32Reggie, got a minute?
10:34Great game tonight. Seems like your slump is over.
10:37Yeah, I was really feeling it out there tonight.
10:39What turned it around for you?
10:42Well, I was having a little problem getting my head together,
10:45but this radio shrink really helped me out, Dr Niles Crane.
10:49Well, good luck against Utah.
10:51Thanks a lot.
10:52Let's send it back upstairs.
10:59You?
11:02Is that so hard to believe?
11:04Yeah.
11:07When did you talk to him?
11:09He was on Bulldog Show today.
11:11We had a brief session in the hallway. Not more than two minutes.
11:15You turned Reggie's game around in only two minutes?
11:18Well, you could be a little less surprised.
11:20I am a skilled psychiatrist.
11:23After 16 years in the field, I have developed certain instincts.
11:28I gotta say, I'm impressed.
11:30Yeah, I'm starting to think maybe I should spend an hour or two on the couch with you.
11:36Are you kidding? With Niles, it'd only take two minutes.
11:47Thanks, Dad.
11:58Hey, Doc. Great job. Go Sonics.
12:01You're the man.
12:02Thank you, Reggie.
12:04Thank you. Same to you.
12:10Heavens, I need a clip and a buff.
12:15There he is. The toast of Seattle.
12:18I suppose you made the sports section of the paper this morning?
12:22Yes, I'd heard.
12:23I must admit, I find this all a bit mystifying.
12:26Do people really care this much about a basketball game?
12:30Are you kidding? This is Seattle.
12:32When it rains nine months out of the year, we take our indoor sports very seriously.
12:36Well, I know you always have.
12:41You're a hero today, so I'm gonna let that one go.
12:45Pucker up, baby. I'm planting a big wet one on you.
12:53Oh.
12:55There's a layer of skin I'll be exfoliating this evening.
12:59I had 200 bucks on the Sonics!
13:02200? Isn't gambling illegal?
13:05Isn't he the cutest?
13:06Oh, yeah.
13:08Don't. Don't.
13:09Okay. Hey, I hope you don't feel this way about chicks.
13:12Because I got one of the Sonics cheerleaders coming on my show today, and she really wants to see you.
13:17Believe it or not, Bulldog, not every man's dream woman is a pom-pom-shaking, half-time, half-wit.
13:25Is she the head cheerleader?
13:28Yeah. And she's coming in costume.
13:31Of course she is. It's radio.
13:38Look at these faxes that came for you.
13:40Faxes?
13:43Seattle thanks you.
13:47You're the Sonics MVP.
13:51Most valuable player.
13:52Oh!
13:53Oh!
13:57You're a genius. With the less common J spelling, but still, his point is well taken.
14:03I bet you're feeling pretty good about yourself.
14:06Suddenly I'm being revered as a god by the same troglodytes who in junior high school tried to pack me into my own briefcase.
14:13It's glorious.
14:16Oh, I almost forgot the best part.
14:18Reggie sent these tickets for tonight's game over.
14:21Oh.
14:23Well, I suppose I can't disappoint my new fans.
14:26Tell me, does one still wear a white sweater jauntily tied around the neck to these things?
14:31If one wants to get the crap beat out of one.
14:37Hey.
14:39Dad, what a surprise.
14:40I'm not interrupting you or anything, am I?
14:42No, no, come on in. Is everything all right?
14:44Oh, sure, sure. I was just having lunch at McGinny's.
14:47Well, some of the guys would really like to meet you, and I was hoping that maybe after your show you could stop in there for a drink.
14:54I mean, I wouldn't ask you, but some of these guys are my best buddies.
14:59Well, actually, Dad, Reggie just sent over these tickets to tonight's game, and I was going to ask you to go, but since you're busy...
15:04To hell with those guys. I'm there.
15:08I have to tell you, I'm finding all this attention a bit overwhelming.
15:12Oh, come on. You deserve it. You're a hero.
15:16Well, perhaps it's time we put all this into perspective.
15:19The only real heroes are the fine athletes who worked so hard for two hours to win that game.
15:24My contribution was minimal at best.
15:27Well, I tell you, Doc...
15:29Which one of you won the game for us last night?
15:31That would be me.
15:33Nice talking to you, too. Enjoy the day.
15:38It really isn't necessary to tell everyone we bumped into that I'm the one Reggie credited with last night's victory.
15:45That was you?
15:46Yeah, yeah. It's my son, Niall Scraggs.
15:50Niall Scraggs.
15:51Niall Scraggs.
15:52Niall Scraggs.
15:53Niall Scraggs.
15:54Niall Scraggs.
15:55Niall Scraggs.
15:56Niall Scraggs.
15:57Niall Scraggs.
15:58Niall Scraggs.
15:59Niall Scraggs.
16:00Niall Scraggs.
16:02Niall Scraggs.
16:05Look, they must have sold too many tickets they've stuck us in these folding chairs.
16:10Wow, right on the hardwood, five feet from the baseline.
16:18It's like Federal Orchestra stage riles.
16:23Oh, man, we're so close we're gonna hear teeth rattle when they set a pick.
16:31It's like sitting close enough to get hit by Placido Domingo's speed.
16:38Hey, NC, you made it.
16:40I beg your pardon?
16:42Oh, NC, I thought you said Nancy.
16:46For a second it was prep school all over again.
16:49Let me introduce Reggie McElmore, Daphne Moon.
16:52Hello.
16:53And this is...
16:54I'm Marty Crane, Niall's dad.
16:57I'm a big fan.
16:58I want you to know I never lost faith in you.
17:01Not when you were in your slump.
17:02Not when you tanked it in the playoffs.
17:04Not even when all my friends were calling you Reggie McLemore.
17:10What?
17:12You know, this might be a good time to try that negative thought-blocking exercise.
17:17Yeah, okay.
17:18Look, you guys enjoy the game.
17:19I'll see you afterwards.
17:20All right.
17:21Make me proud.
17:22It's a little sunny.
17:29What the hell was that?
17:30That's the end of the shoot-around.
17:31The coach is about to send the starting five in for the tip-off.
17:36Oh, the stage manager just called places.
17:49I gather Reggie's not performing up to par this evening.
17:52Oh, you got that from all the booing, huh?
17:54Nice counseling job.
17:55He's been throwing up bricks all night.
17:58Judging from that empty terrine of nachos and cheese, you may be joining him.
18:07Doc, Doc, you gotta help me out here.
18:09I don't know what's wrong.
18:10Well, perhaps you've forgotten some of my advice.
18:12Let's review quickly.
18:13Um, did you answer your mind of negative thoughts?
18:15Yeah.
18:16What about the imaging exercise?
18:17Yeah, yeah, I did them.
18:18What else did you tell me to do?
18:20Nothing.
18:21Bulldog called you.
18:22You ran back in.
18:23No, no, wait.
18:24No, right before that I rubbed your head.
18:27I remember because my head smelled like paint.
18:29So I thought, what the hell does this guy wash his hair with?
18:33Phillips, you can't possibly think that my head is some sort of lucky charm.
18:37Hey, well, we'll know in a minute.
18:43Hey, I saw you talking to Reggie again.
18:45I hope you gave him some more advice.
18:47I tried to, but he has this absurd idea.
18:49Wait, wait, wait.
18:52Back over for three.
18:57Unbelievable!
18:58What did you say to him?
18:59I didn't say anything that he could possibly...
19:01Look, look, look!
19:02He stole the ball!
19:05Back over for three!
19:07Oh, that's a great!
19:09You're a miracle worker!
19:11What did you say to him?
19:13Oh, just something off the top of my head.
19:18Time is up!
19:22Oh, isn't this nice?
19:27Dr. Crane sent us a postcard from Aspen.
19:30Great. How's he doing?
19:32Let's see.
19:34I delivered a speech at the conference last night.
19:37I was especially pleased with my opening line.
19:40My fellow psychiatrists, as I watched you on the slopes today,
19:45I realized I've never seen so many Freudians slip.
19:52As hard as you're laughing now,
19:55imagine the thunder of an auditorium of colleagues.
19:59Well, see you Saturday, Frasier.
20:03Well, I'd better get going.
20:05I'm meeting Joe at the movies.
20:08Oh, bloody hell, it's later than I thought.
20:11Enjoy!
20:12Yeah, enjoy your game.
20:14Oh, Dr. Crane.
20:17Enjoy your game.
20:19Oh, Dr. Crane.
20:21Have fun at the game.
20:23I'm afraid we won't be going.
20:25Oh, that's too bad.
20:26Do you want to know why?
20:27Not really.
20:37Yeah, that's courtside, pal.
20:40Yep, right on the hardwood.
20:42Yep, swear to God.
20:44And Reggie said the seats are ours for the rest of the season.
20:49I believe it's what they call living large.
20:56I don't know, somewhere on TV.
21:00Yeah, okay, I gotta go. Bye.
21:03Let's go, Miles.
21:05You know, Dad, I was thinking
21:07maybe we shouldn't go to the game today.
21:11Well, hey, you know what I was thinking?
21:14Maybe we shouldn't go to any of them.
21:19You know, that's one of the best things about this whole thing.
21:22I mean, when was the last time you and I joked like this?
21:25Well, we'd better get going, because it's late, huh?
21:28Last night at the game,
21:30did you happen to notice when Reggie tousled my hair?
21:34Yeah, yeah, let's go.
21:36Somehow, someway, he's convinced himself
21:39that that's what he needs to do in order to play well.
21:43Ah, well, can we talk about it in the car?
21:45Yeah, it has nothing to do with any advice I've given.
21:48It's all some bizarre superstition,
21:51and Reggie wants to rub my head again before today's game.
21:55Well, you know, a lot of athletes have weird superstitions.
21:59Yes, but I'm a psychiatrist.
22:03I can't let people think I'm treating the man
22:06when all I am is a rabbit's foot.
22:09I'd be taking credit for something I don't deserve.
22:13Okay, what would you be taking credit for?
22:16Helping him.
22:17What are you doing?
22:18Helping him.
22:19I'm getting my coat.
22:22But I wouldn't be helping him as a psychiatrist.
22:25Oh, that's what's bugging you?
22:27People thinking you're a good psychiatrist?
22:29Exactly.
22:30Are you a good psychiatrist?
22:31Yes.
22:32I'm getting my coat.
22:35Dad, Dad, I'm sorry.
22:38We're not going.
22:41Oh, man, I knew you'd find some way to ruin this.
22:48Dad.
22:49Courtside season tickets, VIP parking.
22:54Dad.
22:55No.
22:57You've got to have your reasons.
22:59It's my ethics.
23:01It's my integrity.
23:03It's my allergies.
23:06Well, that's it.
23:08I'm never getting my hopes up again.
23:10Dad, you can still watch the game on TV.
23:13I don't want to watch it on TV.
23:16I'll get you a beer.
23:18I don't like beer.
23:22Dad, you know I'm right.
23:29Will you look me in the eye and ask me one question?
23:33Would you still be doing this if these were courtside seats at the opera?
23:40Yes.
23:43My ethics are my ethics.
23:45And by the way, where do you think I got those ethics?
23:48Oh, yeah, throw it back at me.
23:52That's real mature.
24:00I'd like to talk to Mr. McLemore.
24:02Who wants to see him?
24:04Just tell him NC is here.
24:06Nancy?
24:13No.
24:14NC.
24:20What is so hard about that?
24:24What is so hard about that?
24:30Damn, man, where have you been?
24:32I've got to be on a court in five minutes.
24:34I know.
24:35Stop.
24:37Before you rub your hands all over me, we need to talk.
24:41What's up?
24:42Well, I'll come right to the point.
24:44This entire affair has grown out of control.
24:46I need to end it.
24:49What are you saying?
24:50You're not coming down here anymore?
24:52No.
24:53We can still see each other to talk.
24:55But no touching.
24:59That part of our relationship is over.
25:04Does this concern you?
25:06Starting to.
25:10I like your color, dude.
25:12No, now listen.
25:14Do you really expect me to drop what I'm doing and race down here every day
25:19just so you can run your fingers over my head?
25:23Yeah.
25:26Listen to me closely.
25:28You are a gifted athlete with tremendous skill.
25:32Marshall your talents.
25:34Concentrate.
25:35Focus.
25:37The key to your success is to trust your own God-given ability.
25:42It has nothing to do with my head.
25:44It must be your hair.
25:46Will you stop it?
25:48What are you getting?
25:49Come on, man, just let me touch it.
25:56No.
25:59You have to look at this logically.
26:01I can't come down here for every game,
26:03and I certainly can't go with you when the team is on tour.
26:06This is not a long-term solution.
26:08What you need is legitimate therapy.
26:11If you want to start, come inside.
26:13I'll give you a quick session.
26:14We can proceed from there.
26:16Yeah, you're right, Doc.
26:18I mean, what I need is a long-term solution.
26:21Good.
26:23Yo, Frank, let me see those scissors.
26:26Coming, Doc.
26:33Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling.
26:36Toss salads and scrambled eggs.
26:40Quite stylish.
26:42And maybe I seem a bit confused.
26:45Maybe.
26:46But I got you pegged.
26:51But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:58They're calling again.
27:01Goodnight!