Frasier Season 5 Episode 4 The Kid
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00:00Oh Roz, how are you? Still pregnant.
00:22Look, I'm sorry about last night. I tried to apologize, but you ran out of the party so fast.
00:31Oh, I'm sorry. Was that rude? You know more about etiquette than I do.
00:36What is the proper length of time you should stay after someone announces to a hundred strangers that you got knocked up?
00:46I tried to call.
00:48Hello?
00:49I know, I wasn't answering. I was up all night thinking about what I want to do.
00:54Yes, I suppose a decision of that magnitude would take many sleepless...
00:59I'm having the baby.
01:01Hours to make.
01:06Are you sure, Roz?
01:08I know it seems quick, but even when I was hoping I wasn't pregnant, I knew if I was, I was keeping the baby.
01:17Father, let me be the first to congratulate you.
01:21Oh, Roz. Oh, God, it's so wonderful. You're going to make a great mom.
01:26Well, I did the first step pretty well, and I wasn't even trying.
01:32So, have you told the father?
01:34Yes, I called him at 9 o'clock this morning, which was 7 o'clock at night, Cairo time.
01:41Is that a pertinent fact? You're just trying to dazzle me with your command of time zones.
01:48Yes, he's gone to Cairo. He's working on a project. He's an architect.
01:52Oh, wow. Really? Wow. When's he coming back?
01:56He isn't.
01:59But that's perfectly fine with me. I'm absolutely comfortable raising this child by myself.
02:06And I'm sure everybody around here will give you plenty of support.
02:11So, Roz, who's the proud papa? You got her narrowed down yet?
02:16That's nice. Very nice.
02:19Roger, would you excuse us?
02:21Yes, of course. Just remember the baby's future, Roz. Try to make it look like an accident.
02:29Look, I was just kidding. I'm sure you probably know who the dad is.
02:33Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
02:37Do you remember Janet's party a couple of months ago?
02:41You got really drunk, and I drove you home.
02:49Yeah. What about it?
02:52Well, you invited me up, and I guess I'd had a few myself, because the next thing I know...
02:57No, I don't believe this. I don't even remember us...
03:01Oh, calm down, Rob.
03:03No, no, come on. Please, just tell me you're joking.
03:05Look, we don't have to get married right away.
03:07Oh, man. Oh, man.
03:11I thought you'd be happy about this. I mean, we were wonderful together.
03:16When you made love to me, you were so tender and caring.
03:20Ha! Oh, whoa, whoa! Ha! Tender and caring? No way was that me!
03:27Dad, you almost had me. Good one, Rob.
03:35Someone at the door.
03:37Really? So that's what that funny chiming sound means.
03:42I'm a little indisposed here. Would you mind?
03:45Oh, sure. Sorry, Dad. Hang on. She's coming.
03:50You take it easy. Rest up for that big trek to the dinner table.
03:56Hello, Dr Crane.
03:58Daphne, before I even come in, I just have to say I am mortified about my behaviour last night.
04:04I honestly... I don't know what got into me.
04:07About a quart of vodka, for starters.
04:12There's no need for an apology. I felt what you did was very chivalrous.
04:17Well, I happen to believe that if a woman finds herself in such a predicament,
04:22I happen to believe that if a woman finds herself in such a predicament,
04:25a man of honour has an obligation to step up and do the right thing.
04:29And now poor Roz really is in that predicament.
04:32Do I smell chicken?
04:36Yes, Naz. We'll be serving dinner just as soon as Roz gets here.
04:40I didn't think she should be alone this evening.
04:43How's she doing?
04:44Well, I guess okay, considering she's decided to have the child herself.
04:50Boy, things have sure changed since my day.
04:54Back then, if a girl got in trouble, her family would just ship her off to relatives in another state,
05:00and if anybody asked, just lied and said she went to Europe.
05:03Then when she came back, they'd raise the baby as a little sister.
05:08Not like today.
05:10We had morals and values back then.
05:14You know, I'd always assumed I'd have children,
05:16but if Maris and I don't reconcile soon, the issue will be moot.
05:20She's a tad older than I am, and her biological clock is winding down a bit.
05:25Luckily, she flies to Zurich twice a year to have it reset.
05:34You know, babies are wonderful, but Roz does have a rough road ahead of her.
05:40Well, it can never be easy balancing a career with motherhood.
05:43Well, the big question is where's she going to find a husband?
05:46I mean, a little kid needs a mother and a father.
05:50That's Roz.
05:51Now, just remember, she came here tonight to have a relaxing dinner,
05:55not to be reminded of the difficult situation that she's in.
05:59We'll just take our cue from her.
06:01If she doesn't bring it up, we won't discuss it.
06:03Agreed?
06:04All right.
06:05Yeah, all right.
06:06Daphne, you may answer the door.
06:12Oh, thank you.
06:16Why don't you just get a feather duster and a French maid's uniform?
06:19That would teach them, wouldn't it, Daphne?
06:21And I would pick it out for you.
06:28Hello, Roz.
06:29Hi, Roz!
06:30Hey, Roz.
06:31Dinner's ready.
06:32Oh, thank you.
06:33Hi, Roz!
06:34Hey, Roz.
06:36Dinner's almost ready. You just make yourself comfortable, all right?
06:39Okay.
06:47So...
06:52That's such a cute skirt.
06:54Thanks.
06:55I just got it.
07:03I just got these pants.
07:10They're nice.
07:18I got some interesting news last night.
07:21Well, I and a large portion of Seattle found out I was pregnant.
07:28Don't you guys want to ask me about it?
07:30Yes, of course we do, but we were told not to.
07:32Yeah, Frasier's afraid we might say something to make you uncomfortable.
07:35Oh, that's silly. I want to talk about it.
07:39I'm really excited. I'm going to be a mom.
07:42I've got a lot to do. I'll tell you one thing I've got to get pronto.
07:45A husband?
07:50I was going to say a bigger apartment.
07:52Oh.
07:55Well, maybe the husband will have one.
07:57So, how did the father take it when you told him?
08:02Don't worry. She brought it up.
08:05Actually, he took it very well.
08:07He's not going to be that involved, though. He moved to Cairo.
08:10Where would he have moved to if he'd taken it badly?
08:17No, he's working in Cairo on a project. He's an archaeologist.
08:21Oh.
08:22Roz, why don't we get to the point?
08:25Roz, why don't we get you something to drink?
08:28Oh, all right. Do you have any mineral water?
08:30I have eight kinds. Come and pick one for yourself.
08:33Yeah, he's got room for eight different kinds of water in that fridge,
08:36and I have to keep my can of spray cheese under the sink.
08:43You know, this morning you told me the father was an architect.
08:49I did?
08:50Well, that was a slip of the tongue.
08:52Ah.
08:54And how did you two meet again?
08:56In a bar.
08:57This morning you told me he was on a double date.
09:00Oh, that's right. It was. It was on a double date.
09:03This morning you told me nothing!
09:09What is going on, Roz? You're obviously hiding something.
09:12Miles, please, would you excuse us?
09:16Oh, by all means. I just came in to open a bottle of wine. Sorry.
09:23All right, what's going on?
09:25Is it that you don't know who the father is?
09:27Of course I know.
09:29Well, then why don't you tell me?
09:31Because I haven't even told him yet.
09:35Oh.
09:37And I'm not sure I'm going to tell him.
09:39It's a little complicated.
09:41Roz, look, I don't care who the father is,
09:43but the man has a right to know that he's going to have a child.
09:46Frazier, this really isn't any of your business.
09:49Yes, well, it's certainly his business.
09:52You have an obligation to let this man know that you're having his baby.
09:56Miles, do you mind?
10:00It's impossible to have a private conversation with you constantly eavesdropping.
10:04I don't know what you two are talking about,
10:06but I resent the implication that I have nothing better to do
10:09than spy on you like a nosy teenager.
10:11I came in for a corkscrew.
10:13Oh, Miles, I... I'm sorry.
10:18All I could get was, she hasn't told the father.
10:26Double latte, please.
10:28Coming right up. I'll bring it to your table.
10:30Thank you.
10:32Morning, Roz.
10:34Frazier, what are you doing here?
10:38Oh, I realize it must be quite a shock to find me here in this place
10:41that I come to every day of my life.
10:44You had a dental appointment.
10:46Yes, well, I rescheduled it for tomorrow.
10:49Thanks for telling me.
10:51What's going on?
10:52All right, I came here to talk to him.
10:55Really?
10:56Yes.
10:57Really?
10:58Wow, I'm proud of you.
10:59Oh, thank you very much.
11:00Get out of here.
11:01All right, all right, just a second.
11:02May I have that to-go, please?
11:04Oh, sure, Dr. Crane.
11:05Thank you.
11:06Hey, Roz, how are you doing?
11:07Good, Rick, you?
11:08Great.
11:09Well, what can I get you?
11:10I'll have a decaf, thanks.
11:12Be right back.
11:13Thank you.
11:16He's a nice kid, Rick.
11:18Yes, he is.
11:19Working here to put himself through school?
11:21Yes, he is.
11:22He's a father, isn't he?
11:23Yes, he is.
11:37The father of your child is a teenager.
11:40No, of course he is not a teenager anymore.
11:44He had a birthday three weeks ago.
11:48Look, uh, you know, we just went out for a couple of weeks,
11:51and then it was over.
11:52There were no hard feelings.
11:54It was a little embarrassing, though, him being seven years younger than I am.
11:58Oh, put your eyebrows down.
12:02I've seen your driver's license, and you don't weigh no one-seventh.
12:10Now you know what I'm talking about.
12:12You want to ruin his whole life?
12:15He still has a right to know.
12:17I know that.
12:19It's not going to be easy.
12:21When you were a junior in college,
12:23if a woman came to you and told you she was carrying your child,
12:27wouldn't you have been devastated?
12:30In my case, I would have been mystified.
12:34God, how do I even begin to tell him?
12:37Yeah, as well, with something like that, it's never easy.
12:39So, Ross, what made you switch to decaf?
12:42Then again, sometimes a natural opening does present itself.
12:47I was just trying to stay healthy.
12:49Listen, Rick, I tried to call you this morning, and your number wasn't working.
12:52Oh, I'm not in the dorms anymore.
12:54Really? Did you get your own place?
12:56No, I moved back in with my parents.
13:00Isn't that your dad waving to you over there?
13:03Oh, yeah, right. I think my dad's over there waving to me.
13:07Oh, my dad's over there waving.
13:10Excuse me.
13:13So, you look incredible.
13:16I do.
13:17Yeah.
13:19So, Dad, what brings you here?
13:21Oh, Sherry took her sister to that store across the street to buy some foundation garments.
13:28I think they call them bras now.
13:31Not these, you know.
13:33You could cross the river quiet on one of those babies.
13:39So, I have something to tell you.
13:42Oh, I've got some news, too.
13:44Do you remember me telling you about that junior year abroad program?
13:49I'm in.
13:50I am leaving next week and spending the rest of the year in Paris.
13:53Congratulations. I'm so happy for you.
13:56Thanks.
13:57It's like, first my soccer team wins the championship, then I ace my finals, and now I'm going to Paris.
14:04I'm starting to think what's next.
14:09Funny you should ask.
14:13I'm telling you, there's something in my eye.
14:15I don't see anything.
14:16Are you sure?
14:17I don't see anything.
14:19You're not even looking.
14:21All right, I'll look.
14:22Don't touch it.
14:27Look, Dad, I've got to go talk to Ross.
14:30Just go to the men's room and bring some of that cold water, all right?
14:33Oh, yeah, well, I'm really glad I worked all those extra shifts to put you through medical school.
14:37It really paid off.
14:45Ross?
14:46Don't worry, I told him.
14:48How did he take it?
14:50Well, he was pretty freaked out, actually.
14:53But I assured him that I didn't need anything from him and that I was going to raise this baby by myself.
15:00Anyway, he's going to be fine.
15:03Oh, my God, I'm late for a doctor's appointment.
15:06Are you all right?
15:07Yeah, I guess so.
15:09Can I take you to dinner tonight?
15:11Oh, thank you, Frasier, that would be nice.
15:14I'll see you later.
15:15Okay, bye.
15:19Boy, I can't stand these yuppie joints.
15:22Some bozo went through the bathroom correcting all the grammar and the graffiti with a red pen.
15:27Yes, I noticed.
15:28Yeah.
15:29Who had that much time on his hands?
15:31Unbelievable.
15:32It was Niles, wasn't it?
15:33I'll talk to him again.
15:41It's open, Frasier.
15:46I'm sorry.
15:47I probably should have called first.
15:49No, that's all right.
15:51I'm just surprised to see you.
15:53I'm a little surprised to be here myself.
16:00Come in.
16:01Thanks.
16:06Oh, these are for you.
16:09There was a card, but it kind of blew off on my way over.
16:12I rode my bike.
16:16I acted like an idiot today.
16:18No, it's okay.
16:19No, it's not.
16:20I mean, when you told me, all I could think about was myself and how it was going to affect me.
16:27But once I calmed down, I started thinking about you and the, uh...
16:35Baby.
16:36Yeah.
16:37So, that's the other reason I'm here.
16:42I'm not going to Paris.
16:44I'm quitting school.
16:45I'm going to work at the cafe full time.
16:48So, you've come to tell me you've lost your mind.
16:52No.
16:53I came here to ask you to marry me.
16:57Oh, Rick.
16:59That's so wrong.
17:04Well, yeah.
17:06That's right.
17:08Roz, will you marry me?
17:10No, no.
17:11The proposal was fine.
17:13It was absolutely lovely.
17:15It's just that we can't.
17:16No, no, no.
17:17Please.
17:18Don't say no yet.
17:20Listen, I have been thinking about this all afternoon.
17:27And I could fall in love with you.
17:31I could be a good husband, a good father.
17:36Rick, that's the whole point of being 20.
17:40You could be anything.
17:43I'm much older than you are.
17:45I am things.
17:48I know what you're saying, but I'm not too young for this.
17:52You know, my mom was only 17 when she had me.
17:56Your mother's only 37 years old?
17:58Yeah.
18:07And would you two hit it off?
18:09I mean, you guys have a lot in common.
18:13You know, I actually do sort of even look like...
18:15Stop right there.
18:18Listen.
18:20Your proposal was...
18:23was so...
18:25sweet.
18:26It's my first one, actually.
18:28Well, mine too.
18:29Aww.
18:33I hope that you can understand why I can't possibly marry you.
18:39When I get married, it's gonna be to someone I love.
18:43And someone who loves me.
18:46And someone who can legally drink champagne at my wedding.
18:53Okay.
18:56I understand.
18:59So is this the...
19:00Yeah, this is the sonogram picture.
19:02I got it this morning.
19:04Right there.
19:05Oh, wow.
19:07That dot's my kid.
19:09No, that dot's just a dot.
19:10That dot's your kid.
19:14You can have it, if you want.
19:17Thank you.
19:18Yeah, and I can send you photos, updates, that sort of thing, if you like.
19:23Oh, I would like that.
19:26Yeah, very much.
19:30Roz, are you sure?
19:31Yeah, I'm sure.
19:33I think this is the right thing, for you and for me.
19:39Okay.
19:40Now go.
19:42Go to Paris.
19:44Go learn, go have fun.
19:46Just don't come back wearing a beret.
20:01Okay.
20:04Here.
20:08Take care of yourself.
20:10You too.
20:30I said go!
20:32Look, I just got here!
20:38I'm sorry, Frasier. Come in.
20:49I ran into Rick in the hall.
20:52Yeah.
20:53He asked me to marry him.
20:56I said no.
20:59That was very sweet of him.
21:00Oh, I was just making some tea. You want some?
21:03Yeah, sure. Thanks.
21:05With milk, please.
21:09Well, you've had quite a day, haven't you?
21:13You all right?
21:15I'm fine.
21:17You know, it's okay to not be fine.
21:20Well, is it okay just to be okay?
21:23Yeah, sure.
21:26Thanks, Roz.
21:28Oh, oh, this milk's expired.
21:31Oh, whoa. It has.
21:33It's all right. I can drink the tea straight.
21:38I had no idea I'd let this milk expire.
21:42It's really all right, Roz.
21:45I can't take this.
21:48Dammit, I'm gonna let this happen.
21:52Are we still talking about the milk?
21:54Don't you see?
21:57Milk is a staple.
22:00I let a staple go bad.
22:03Good mothers don't let staples go bad.
22:05How can I be responsible for a child
22:07when I can't even keep fresh milk in the house?
22:10Kids need milk.
22:14Roz, if it helps, kids don't even drink milk for the first year.
22:18Oh, see? I didn't even know that.
22:21Oh, see? I didn't even know that.
22:25I didn't know that either until I was a parent.
22:29Don't you understand?
22:31I have to know everything.
22:34You can know half of everything.
22:35You can know about the milk,
22:37and Lilith can know about the booties and the snugglies.
22:40You never met Lilith, did you?
22:43No.
22:48Just forget the milk and forget the tea.
22:52Talk to me.
22:54I don't even know where to start.
22:57Everything in my life is about to change.
23:00My body, my love life.
23:03Yes, but it's also going to change in fantastic ways.
23:10I remember the first night I brought Frederick home from the hospital.
23:15You put this tiny thing into a tiny little bed,
23:22and you look around and you realize that
23:26the entire house has changed.
23:31I know. I want that.
23:35God, the responsibility.
23:38Well, yes.
23:40But it's all worth it.
23:44You get to share your life with a remarkable little creature
23:50who only lives in the present,
23:53runs around naked without the slightest bit of shame,
23:59can entertain himself for hours just staring at a shining object.
24:03Isn't that wonderful?
24:05Isn't that Bulldog?
24:09Well, technically, yes.
24:14Roz, I'm going to tell you something I didn't find out until I became a father.
24:21You don't just love your children.
24:28You fall in love with them.
24:33It's that same rush.
24:36That same overwhelming desire to see them, to hold them.
24:42It bore other people to tears with every detail about them.
24:47Oh, my gosh.
24:51I'm going to have a baby.
24:56Someone is going to call out for mom. It's going to be me.
25:01I'm really scared.
25:04What if I can't do this by myself?
25:08But, Roz, you're not all by yourself.
25:13I'm here.
25:15Oh, thank you, baby.
25:18And I'll be available for you in whatever way you wish,
25:21from taking you out to dinner tonight
25:24to that moment in the delivery room.
25:27You say welcome to the world, little Jimmy or little Sally.
25:32Dare I hope, little Frasier?
25:35Oh, my God. I think I'm going to be sick.
25:38I guess I got a little carried away.
25:40No, I mean, I'm going to hurl.
25:42Oh, dear God. I'll wait here.
25:49Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling to Sally.
25:53Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling.
25:56Tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
25:59Quite stylish.
26:01And maybe I seem a bit confused.
26:04Well, maybe.
26:06But I got you pegged.
26:10But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
26:17They're calling again.
26:19Goodnight!