Frasier Season 8 Episode 3 The Bad Son
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Rule number one, always stand in back of the curb until the bus comes to a complete stop.
00:12Now take your money and put it right in here.
00:15Yes, thank you, Rosalind. I am not completely lacking in street smarts.
00:21Good day, busman.
00:25The northwest corner of Highland and First Street.
00:28That's not a stop.
00:30I know. Perhaps if I just shove a little encouragement into this box.
00:37Come on. Keep your eyes peeled for a seat and hold on to a pole.
00:43It doesn't look very clean, Rosalind.
00:46Well, would you rather wind up on the floor?
00:50Dear God!
00:53Christine! Miranda!
00:56Oh, long time. How are things at the colony?
00:59Oh, trust me, you are missed. Things have gotten so crazy, they actually put me in charge.
01:04Oh, that's great. You deserve this.
01:06Oh, thank you.
01:07How are you doing?
01:09Which one are you staring at?
01:11I'm not staring. That would be rude.
01:15Which one?
01:17The one.
01:19Why don't you go over and talk to her?
01:21Please, Ros, come on. The woman's a perfect stranger.
01:24Stranger? You know her name, you know she has a job, you know she's attractive.
01:29It's like an anti-biography compared to what I usually know going in.
01:36Oh, gosh, look at me. Someone threw my hair in a mess.
01:41Believe me, you could look a lot worse.
01:48I specifically told people on the air not to do that.
01:53Look, why don't you go over and talk to her?
01:57It's not like you'll ever see her again if she shoots you down.
02:02Perhaps you're right.
02:05I'm good at you.
02:08Thank goodness.
02:10I would have thought that such a rare butterfly could exist in this tin cocoon.
02:18Hey, for your information, plenty of refined, sophisticated women ride the bus.
02:25Open your eyes, Nimrod! That was my sock!
02:33Good luck.
02:35Goodbye.
02:41Oh, please, take mine.
02:45You'd better take mine, too. That way you can spread out.
02:50Well, nothing for you to spread out, actually.
02:52Well, it's my first time on a bus.
02:56Excuse me, miss, Miranda wore a...
03:08So, Dirk, how's the weather in Florida?
03:11Eighty-two! Oh, I sure envy you.
03:16Yeah, it's nothing but rain here.
03:19Yeah, Channel 4 said it should clear up tomorrow, but the Channel 5 guy said probably not till the weekend.
03:27Yeah, then there's the weather channel.
03:30Early morning guy said it'll probably break by Saturday, but then the mid-morning guy said...
03:36What do you mean, you gotta go?
03:39A shuffleboard! Oh, come on, Dirk, get a life!
03:46Hey, Niles, I thought you were working.
03:50Well, a patient canceled, so I thought I'd drop by and see you.
03:55Oh, my God, you have no idea how good it feels to say that.
04:00I'm here to see you.
04:09No more flimsy pretenses. No more making tedious small talk with Dad.
04:15Hey, Niles, it's 82 in Florida.
04:17Here to see Daphne, Dad.
04:24Well, how about to check on the roast in the open? It's 375 in there.
04:31All right, no more weather talk.
04:34Doc, I'm probably just getting a little stir-crazy from being cooped up for two weeks.
04:40But it won't be too much longer.
04:42It'll all end from the meteor shower on Saturday, if you can believe those Channel 7 Doppler guys.
04:47Ooh, I wonder what they're up to.
04:51Remember that meteor shower we had a few years ago?
04:54Oh, please, don't remind me.
04:56I was over here having dinner with Maris.
05:00I will never forget that night.
05:02Neither will I. I've never seen a person cut a caper in half.
05:10No, no, I was out on the terrace witnessing this incredible display and I was absolutely miserable.
05:18Now I know it's because I would much rather have been sharing that moment with you.
05:25Well, I'm here now.
05:28Why don't we watch it together this Saturday?
05:31Oh, Daphne, that's a wonderful idea.
05:34We'll recreate the entire moment right there on the terrace, right down to the last detail.
05:40Except we'll be together.
05:42And instead of serving the 92, Dom Perignon will serve the 90 and we'll right two horrible wrongs.
06:01Wow, Frasier, what happened?
06:14What happened?
06:16I went six months without replacing my pollen filter in my car, so it was in the shop.
06:21Couldn't get a cab, so I took the bus home.
06:25Which splashed me.
06:28And I fell down, missed my stop and had to walk home ten blocks in this downpour.
06:35You went six months without changing your pollen filter?
06:43Looks like you could use a spot of tea.
06:45Desperately.
06:46What'll it be then? I've got earl grey, English breakfast, chamomile, orange peacoke, oolong, laksang soup.
06:53Oh, for God's sake!
06:57Just throw a bag in some hot water.
07:02Earl grey.
07:09Hey, Frasier, you know it's not your thing, but Duke sent me a couple of tickets for tomorrow's Sonics game.
07:14You want to go?
07:15I've got plans.
07:16What plans?
07:17Just plans.
07:18If you don't want to go, just tell me.
07:20I don't want to go.
07:21Would it kill you to spend one night with me?
07:24I spent every night with you.
07:26God knows I have done my best to keep you entertained, but in the seven years since you've landed at my doorstep,
07:32have you ever known me once to show any interest in basketball?
07:40You know, I'd go, Dad, but I have the quilt show.
07:47Please, Miles, I feel bad enough already.
07:54Care for a sherry, Miles?
07:59A little rough on Dad, weren't you?
08:01Oh, I suppose so.
08:04It's just been a rotten day.
08:08You don't even know the talker.
08:09There was an enchanting young woman on the bus, and just when I'd worked up enough nerve to go and talk to her,
08:15I slept on something that I can only hope was an old burrito.
08:25Before I could manage to get up, she was gone.
08:30Well, I suppose it just wasn't meant to be.
08:34Wait a minute, you know, I did happen to overhear her name and where she works.
08:40Well, then what are you waiting for? Seize the day!
08:43You think I got together with Daphne by just sitting around?
08:47Take a chapter from my book.
08:51Exactly what chapter would that be, Miles?
08:54The last chapter.
08:55Yeah.
08:57I suppose I did go and talk with her.
08:59But what would I say?
09:01I spied on you on the bus, and I'd managed to haunt you down here where you work.
09:05Would you care to have dinner sometime?
09:07I might as well just lob off on you.
09:09I don't know what I'd say.
09:11I spied on you on the bus, and I'd managed to haunt you down here where you work.
09:14Would you care to have dinner sometime?
09:16I might as well just lob off my ear and mail it to her.
09:21No, just pretend you're there on business. Where does she work?
09:26It's a retirement home.
09:29Oh, well, tell her you're there looking for some place for Dad.
09:33In fact, bring him along for cover.
09:37No, no. You know he hates those places. He'd never agree to it.
09:42Well, he doesn't need to. Just take him to the game tomorrow and make an unannounced stop on the way.
09:49So you're suggesting that I go crawling back to Dad, beg him to let me take him to the basketball game,
09:54use him to meet a pretty girl, and sit through a sport I loathe?
09:59All right, I see your point.
10:01No, I'm just trying to get the sequence right.
10:03That's right.
10:05Oh, Dad!
10:11You could have told me we were stopping here when we left for the game.
10:14If you'd known that, you never would have agreed to come.
10:16Well, you didn't have to trick me. I mean, I would never do anything like that to you.
10:20It seems someone is forgetting, sending Niles and me off to Boy Scout camp to earn our opera badges.
10:28Oh, there she is. All right, now listen. Remember, you're interested in living here.
10:32All right, but I don't want to be late for the game.
10:35Excuse me. I'm Frasier Crane. This is my father, Martin.
10:39We're interested in finding out a bit more about the colonnades there. Someone we could talk to.
10:45Oh, well, I'm the director here, Miranda Rogers.
10:47Why don't I get you a couple of brochures, and if you like what you see, you can fill out an application.
10:53Application?
10:54It only takes about 20 minutes.
10:5620 minutes?
10:57Yes, Dad. Application. 20 minutes.
11:00He likes to repeat things. It's a soothing mechanism. 20 minutes. 20 minutes.
11:09You're very patient with him. I'll be right back.
11:13You didn't say I'd have to put anything in writing.
11:15I haven't even seen her before, have you? You're trying to put me in here for real.
11:20When you said you met her on the bus, I knew that story was full of holes.
11:24For God's sake, will you just stop it? No one's going to put you anywhere.
11:27You're damn right they're not, because I'm not filling out any applications.
11:29So will you hurry up and make your date, and let's get off this ice cold.
11:35You know, I'm starting a tour in a few minutes. It would be a good way to get your questions answered.
11:39Oh, that's a splendid idea.
11:41A tour?
11:42Yes, Dad. A tour.
11:45A tour.
11:47Now come along.
11:51As you can see, we're a full-service facility.
11:55Will you hurry up and ask her if we move any slower in this place,
11:58or you're going to start harvesting our organs.
12:00Right.
12:02It's kind of difficult with all these people around.
12:04Well, the game's already started. Two minutes, and I'm calling a cab.
12:08All right.
12:12Hey, I know you. McGinty's, right?
12:15Yeah, Marty Crane.
12:16Yeah, Lee Zeplowicz.
12:18Hi, Lee.
12:19Hey, we can really use a fourth for poker if you're moving in.
12:23Oh, geez. No, I'm sorry. I'm just here to do a thing with my son.
12:28We're on our way over to the ball game.
12:30Uh-huh. They told me I was going to the Space Needle.
12:40Thanks for the tour.
12:41Oh, you're welcome.
12:43If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask.
12:46Well, actually, you know, I do have one more question.
12:50Do you think it'd be possible to have dinner sometime?
12:53Oh, sure. Um, come by with your father around five tomorrow,
12:57and I'll set you up at the cafeteria.
12:59I should warn you, tomorrow's steak night,
13:01so be prepared to throw a few elbows.
13:06And you just asked me out on a date, didn't you?
13:09Yes, but that was before I knew it was steak night.
13:13Sure. Why not? Um, how about this weekend?
13:18Well, that's great. Um, I'll call you.
13:23Okay. Um, you know, I don't normally date people I've just met,
13:27but you seem like such a nice person.
13:30I can tell by the way you are with your father.
13:32Yes, well, we're very close.
13:42All right, Dad, I checked. The rain's letting up a bit.
14:12What? What are you doing here?
14:23Daphne and I are watching the meteor shower on the terrace.
14:26No, you're not. I have a date.
14:28That's tonight?
14:30Yes.
14:31Well, what are we going to do?
14:33I don't know. Go to the roof.
14:36We can't do that. We're having a recreation.
14:40You'll never believe this.
14:42Frasier wants to send us to the roof.
14:44What a romantic idea.
14:46Isn't it?
14:50Yes, yes, it's very romantic. Now get your crap and go.
14:53Coming, coming.
14:56Where'd you put Dad in storage?
14:58I have no idea where Dad is.
15:00All I know is that he's not here and you are.
15:03Hello.
15:04Good evening, Miranda. Come in.
15:06I'd like to introduce you to my brother, Niles Crane.
15:09Hello.
15:10And this is Daphne Moon, his lady friend.
15:14Oh, I suppose I am.
15:16You really are my lady friend.
15:18Although, you know, we're trying to keep it sort of posh, posh.
15:21I'm sorry, my brother's not very social, really.
15:25Here we are. Would you care for some wine?
15:29Oh, I'd love some, yeah.
15:31Oh, you have a beautiful place.
15:35Oh, something tells me this must be your father's chair.
15:39Yes, well, you know, I insisted that he bring it with him when he moved in here.
15:46After all, this is his home, too.
15:51How thoughtful of you.
15:52Yes.
15:53Well, I imagine he'll be bringing that with him when he moves in.
15:58Gosh, Miranda, you know, I've got to be honest with you.
16:02As much as I like the colonnade, I'm not sure Dad's really ready to move in yet.
16:07Well, then, I guess he hasn't told you.
16:10Your father filled out an application today.
16:13Application?
16:15My father?
16:17Today?
16:18Sounds like he's moving out just in time.
16:20You're picking up that repeating thing.
16:24You know, I've been giving a lot of thought to this idea of a pet name for you.
16:29And you've decided to give it up?
16:31No, I don't give up that easily.
16:34Woggles?
16:37I was kidding.
16:40You're not really a Woggle.
16:42You're more of a Cuddles.
16:45No, I was kidding again.
16:49Someone stop me.
16:51What have we got in here, then?
16:53Oh, well, we have the finest champagne and beluga caviar.
16:59Oh.
17:01Broken bits of pottery.
17:03That's peanut brittle.
17:07I made it myself so we could have something sweet.
17:10Go on, try some.
17:13I made it myself so we could have something sweet.
17:16Go on, try some.
17:18Well, I hardly need something sweet with you here.
17:24You are such a dear.
17:27Seriously, try some.
17:42Oh.
17:48Mmm.
17:51Mmm.
17:54Oh.
17:55Is it good?
17:56Oh.
17:58It's like little shards of heaven.
18:03Oh, dear.
18:05The wind's picked up.
18:06Oh, dear.
18:07Nothing else blows away.
18:17What happened to the peanut brittle?
18:19It blew away.
18:23Oh.
18:25I'll run and get some books to hold this block down.
18:37What happened?
18:38I moved the block to hold down the blanket and now the door seems to be stuck.
18:49All right, Daphne, you sit tight.
18:52All right, I'll run and get the super.
18:53I'll have it open in a minute.
18:55All right.
19:03Daphne, where's the key to the stairway door?
19:06Oh, I've got it.
19:09I'll slide it under.
19:10Oh, all right.
19:12No problem.
19:13Take your time.
19:15No need to panic.
19:17Oh, dear.
19:19There is no wonder.
19:21It's sealed tight.
19:23Sealed.
19:24All right.
19:26Now, Daphne, try and remain calm.
19:33Well, we'll just have to wait for the night watchman.
19:37He checks all these doors when he does his rounds in a few hours.
19:41For the last time, Daphne, I told you not to panic.
19:44And please don't make me say it again.
19:46I have to conserve oxygen.
19:58Hey, look, Marty, there's your son.
20:00Yeah, yeah.
20:01Nice try.
20:02Like I'd take my eyes off you while you're dealing.
20:06Dad, can I have a word with you for a second?
20:08Oh, Frej, yeah.
20:10All right.
20:11Keep going, guys.
20:12I'm in.
20:15What happened to your day?
20:17Oh, well, suffice to say it didn't go so well.
20:20I spent the whole time worried about you.
20:23Listen, I came down to apologize.
20:28I've been selfish, and I've neglected you, and I'm sorry.
20:33Oh, well, apology accepted, son.
20:36We've both been a little cranky.
20:37It's probably just the rain.
20:39Oh, Dad, listen, listen.
20:40I want us to go to games together.
20:42I really do.
20:44And I want us to see movies and go drinking at McGinty.
20:48Well, that's great.
20:49So, Dad, Dad, I'm trying to say something here.
20:53I'm not ready for you to leave.
20:57I don't want you to move in here.
21:01I miss you too much.
21:03Please, Dad, come home, please.
21:06Well, what the hell are you talking about?
21:08I'm not moving in here.
21:11But Miranda told me you filled out an application.
21:14You told her you'd found a new home.
21:17Well, I had to.
21:19It's the only way to stay in the game.
21:21It's for residents only.
21:26This was just a ruse so you could continue playing poker?
21:30Well, it's not just poker.
21:32It's poker with the three worst players I've ever seen.
21:38Hey, Marty, you in?
21:40Sid's got a pair of 10s showing.
21:42Look at me, Sid.
21:46Raise your 20.
21:47You dream about getting in games like this all your life
21:50and you never think it's going to happen.
21:54Dad, Dad, please.
21:55I can't let you go on taking advantage of these people.
21:57Well, I'm not taking advantage of them.
21:59I'm giving them an education.
22:01Consider it an expensive seminar.
22:04A seminar, my eye.
22:06I'm going to give every dime of that money back to those men.
22:10All right.
22:12I'll let the limit back.
22:14Come on, Marty, you in?
22:16All right, yeah, I'm in.
22:18Let's see.
22:19Oh, Lee's got a pair of aces.
22:21Whoa.
22:23Three 10s here.
22:25What have I got?
22:27Four, five, seven, nine.
22:30Well, I'll just bet it all.
22:35Too rich for my blood.
22:41I'll leave the light on for you, Dad.
22:49How are you holding up?
22:51Is that spider still around?
22:56I think he's realized he's more afraid of me than I am of him.
23:02He's not in his corner.
23:03He's not in his corner.
23:07Oh, there he is.
23:09Found him.
23:13Oh, Daphne, you must be starving.
23:16Please, please don't wait for me.
23:18You go ahead and eat.
23:22No.
23:30Oh, I just saw one.
23:33A spider?
23:34No, a meteor.
23:37Oh, it's beautiful.
23:39It just appeared out of nowhere.
23:42That's it.
23:43That's it.
23:44I missed it the last time.
23:46I'm not going to let it happen again.
23:47Daphne, stand back.
23:49This door is coming down.
23:58Okay, I'm ready.
24:05Oh, I just saw another one.
24:09Oh, it's breathtaking.
24:11It just streaked from one end of the sky to the other.
24:15Oh, Niles, I wish you could see this.
24:19So do I, my love.
24:23What did you just call me?
24:26Well, it was kind of a place filler.
24:28I didn't have time to think of a good one.
24:32No, I like it, my love.
24:39It's nice.
24:44Oh, I just saw another one.
24:47What's it look like?
24:49It's got a long, glittering tail.
24:53It reminds me of the time my father drove home from the pub with a trash can stuck underneath his car.
25:01Sparks were flying everywhere.
25:04Did I ever tell you that story?
25:06No, you never did, my love.
25:10Well, my father stopped in at the pub on his way home from work.
25:20Maybe I hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
25:26Mercy.
25:28And maybe I seem a bit confused.
25:31Well, maybe.
25:32But I got you pegged.
25:37But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
25:44They're calling again.
25:47Frasier has left the building.