Frasier Season 8 Episode 5 Taking Liberties
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00:00Hey Frazier. Oh, hi Ross. Ah, checking out the personal ads, huh?
00:06Actually, I'm looking at the warrant ads. Trying to find a housekeeper.
00:12Now that Daphne is Niles' girlfriend, it doesn't feel right for me to ask her to pick up after me anymore, so...
00:19Awfully difficult finding someone, though.
00:22It's hard getting what you want these days, isn't it?
00:26Indeed.
00:27But you can still find convenience and value if you know where to look.
00:33Death Guard, what are you selling?
00:35Wrapping paper. It's a fundraiser for Alice's school.
00:40Well, at least it's a worthy cause.
00:42Yeah.
00:43Alright, let's have a look.
00:46Oh, that one's too garish.
00:49I don't like this one either.
00:52Ooh, I'm certainly not crazy about Garfield.
00:55Forgive me, Dad. You're getting five rolls apiece on Earth, and thanks for your support.
01:04Macchiato. Make it a dope, you.
01:12Niles. Niles, please, whatever is wrong, the answer doesn't lie at the bottom of an espresso cup.
01:21It's Maligan.
01:23Oh, Lord.
01:25Still making you humiliate yourself at social functions while she plays the long-suffering wife?
01:30I'm afraid so, but she said a couple more weeks and I'll have my divorce.
01:35She said that two weeks ago.
01:39What was it this time?
01:41Well, we attended Colonel Turner's very large, very high Episcopalian funeral,
01:46during the course of which my cell phone rang repeatedly.
01:50I was not allowed to answer it, and Mel had set the ringer on La Cucaracha.
02:01Oh, Niles, I'm so sorry.
02:03No, it's alright.
02:04No, I called you twice.
02:10Well, I ruined quite a send-off.
02:13An honor guard, the colonel's butler, seating people, two archbishops presiding.
02:19Did you just say butler?
02:21Oh, yes, I know, an honest-to-goodness English butler.
02:25The colonel was a bit of an anachronism.
02:27Ah, yes, that's amusing, really.
02:30I suppose this butler saw to the colonel's every need.
02:33Oh, yeah, clipped his cigars, poured his scotch.
02:36Laid out his clothes for him, served him his meal.
02:42I saw him first.
02:43You've had a gardener and a maid.
02:44Yes, but never a butler.
02:45But it's my turn.
02:46But it's my dream.
02:47Daphne won't have to clean anymore.
02:51I tip my cap, sir.
03:17Ah, Ferguson, is it morning already?
03:37Indeed, sir.
03:38I trust you slept well.
03:40Best sleep I've had in years.
03:42Excellent.
03:43Your coffee, sir.
03:45I was sceptical when you said these pillows could be better arranged.
03:48Yes.
03:50Preparing a suitable sleeping environment is one of the first tasks I learned at my father's knee.
03:56Oh, your father also bottled?
03:58Oh, yes, sir.
04:00Even my father's father was a gentleman's gentleman.
04:04That's a good one, Ferguson.
04:07Thank you, sir.
04:08It's one of my staples.
04:12Will there be breakfast all sweet today, sir?
04:15No, I believe I'll join the rest of the household.
04:18Very good, sir.
04:22Thank you, Ferguson.
04:24Oh, you spoil me.
04:29Keep it up.
04:34Good morning, Dad, Daphne.
04:37Where's Lord Weirdo?
04:42Dad, his name is Ferguson.
04:51Good morning, Dr. Crane's residence.
04:54Oh, good morning, Dr. Crane.
04:58Oh, thank you, sir.
04:59Your phone manner is also delightful.
05:05It's Dr. Crane for you, miss.
05:06Oh, thank you.
05:08Hello?
05:09Niles?
05:10Oh, yes.
05:13Dear God.
05:14What's wrong?
05:16That politicking Alan Murchie has just been elected president of the opera board.
05:21Yeah, I'll never forget where I was when I heard the news.
05:28This pinhead is president.
05:29I can't even get on the board.
05:31And what will you be sending to congratulate Mr. Murchie, sir?
05:36Curses and epithets is all they'll get from me.
05:39Quite right.
05:40However, a well-chosen gift might draw the eye of Mr. Murchie
05:46as he considers a replacement for his now-vacated seat on the board.
05:55Well...
06:00To make you happy, Ferguson, let's send him a bottle of Chateau Bellevue.
06:06If I may, sir, I've overheard Mr. Murchie speak fondly of the family villa in Umbria.
06:13He may consider a wine from that region especially thoughtful.
06:23It's a little on the nose, but fine.
06:28I love you, too. Bye.
06:33Manchester, right?
06:35Is it that obvious?
06:36To me it is.
06:37My mum's from Manchester.
06:39Used to scream her lungs out for United.
06:42Is that so?
06:44My Uncle Jack once tried to get Bobby Charlton's autograph
06:47and Sir Bobby cracked him over the head with a can of lager.
06:50Twelve stitches and he still has the can.
06:56Well, let me give you a hand tidying up.
06:58Oh, thank you, miss.
07:00You know, you needn't stand on ceremony for Dr. Crane's father.
07:04He prefers it to be more informal.
07:06Oh, that's rather difficult for me.
07:08I'm accustomed to formality.
07:11Besides, I find it's more professional.
07:13It helps draw the line between a family and its servant.
07:18Are you referring to Niles and me?
07:21That's none of my business.
07:23It's all right. We're together.
07:26He told me he'd been in love with me for seven years
07:29and that I couldn't help but fall head over heels.
07:32It was like a fairy tale.
07:34Seven years.
07:36He sounds shy.
07:40Oh, he is.
07:43He was also married for much of the time.
07:47But now your prince is free.
07:49Almost. He married someone else.
07:52I see.
07:54No, you don't understand.
07:57Once that divorce goes through, we'll be together forever.
08:01Well, I hope it's moving swiftly through the courts.
08:04Oh, he hasn't filed yet.
08:07But when his wife thinks the time is right, which is soon, he will.
08:11But not that she's in charge of us.
08:14Oh, look, I'm giving you the wrong impression here.
08:16Miss Mooney, please understand that this is not meant to be cruel.
08:22But I've witnessed much heartbreak in my career
08:26and I've come to know that an employee-employer romance
08:32has little chance of success.
08:34The status relationship will always exist.
08:39Thank goodness I'm not as cynical as you are.
08:42True love is stronger than status.
08:45I don't care what anyone says or thinks.
08:48Niles and I are in love.
08:53Yeah, and don't spread that around. It's a secret.
09:01Next.
09:06Next.
09:10Next.
09:11Next.
09:13Oh, Shark Week. At ease.
09:18Good day, you all.
09:20Hey, Space. How'd your lunch go with that opera guy?
09:23Excellent. Not only did Murchie rave on and on about the bottle of Umbrian wine I sent,
09:30but he intimated that I was opera board timber.
09:36Now all we have to do is continue my charm offensive with the other board members.
09:41Then might I suggest a party, sir?
09:44I'm way ahead of you this time.
09:45I was thinking of a little post-opera soiree next week after the opening of Turandot.
09:51If I may take the liberty, sir, perhaps holding the party prior to the opera
09:57might be easier on the older guests.
10:01That's good thinking. Yes, yes.
10:03It's a very nice spin on my initial insight of the party.
10:08You flatter me, sir.
10:18Hello, Niles.
10:19Hello, Fraser.
10:21Ah, yes, Ferguson.
10:23How do you do, sir?
10:24Very well.
10:25May I take your coat, sir?
10:27Certainly.
10:31Sherry, Dr. Green.
10:33Oh, thank you, Ferguson, but even as we speak,
10:36I have a bottle of Veuve Clicquot chilling in my apartment,
10:39and you know the old caution.
10:41Champagne after sherry makes tummy grow wary.
10:47You have your brother's wit, sir.
10:55So, Niles,
10:58So, Niles, you're awfully chipper today.
11:01And why not?
11:02Daphne and I are going out on a date.
11:06Well, Niles, what if somebody sees you and reports back to Mel?
11:11Mel be damned.
11:12Daphne and I are going to have a romantic evening together at my apartment.
11:16Not only that, she's going in my car, in my back seat,
11:21under a pile of my coats and blankets.
11:27My cell phone.
11:28Shall I?
11:29Can he?
11:30Would you?
11:36Dr. Cranesline.
11:38I'm ready.
11:39Oh, Daphne, you look ravishing.
11:43Oh, thank you.
11:46It's Mrs. Cranes, sir.
11:48Oh, Mel.
11:56Oh, Mel.
11:58What?
12:00Wait a minute. I thought we agreed 24 hours' notice.
12:02You can't just...
12:06All right.
12:08I'll see you then.
12:10Everything all right, Niles?
12:12It's Mel. She's having tea with her sorority sisters and would like me to show up.
12:17Late, of course, and preferably boorish.
12:19For Pete's sake, I thought this was supposed to be over by now.
12:23Yes, well, so did I, but as Mel so politely reminded me,
12:27if I want this divorce to be quick and simple, I have to dance to her tune.
12:37I'm sorry. You understand, don't you?
12:39I guess so.
12:41That's my girl.
12:44I will make this up to you. I promise.
12:47You better get going.
12:59You heard, didn't you?
13:02No, I don't need that.
13:04I mean, I know he loves me.
13:07It took him seven years to tell me.
13:10His ex-wife walked all over him and now Mel's doing the same thing.
13:15What, is it going to take another seven years before he stands up for himself or for us?
13:20Why do you suppose he hasn't?
13:22I don't know.
13:25For the first time, I'm beginning to wonder if maybe there are too many differences.
13:33Maybe he feels he has too much to lose.
13:38God, Ferguson, maybe you were right.
13:45Oh!
13:59I hope everything meets with your approval, sir.
14:01Oh, yes, indeed. Indeed.
14:05Where's Dad's chair?
14:07I took the liberty of removing it for the party, but Dad'll be furious.
14:12And I completely forgot he'll be here.
14:16Swigging from a can and guessing women's weight, I'll be blackballed.
14:22Oh, Dad, a lesson about tonight.
14:25Yeah, I'd love to hobnob and whatnot, but the town car's waiting to take me to the game.
14:30Thanks for the tickets, Frej.
14:33Fergie.
14:36Your meatloaf sandwich, sir.
14:39And your finger.
14:52I hope you don't mind, sir.
14:53Not at all.
14:56Ferguson.
14:57Positions.
15:01Oh, Niles, what are you doing here?
15:03Oh, Frasier, don't panic. I'm not crashing your party.
15:06I'm here to pick up Daphne. We're going to the mall.
15:09Really?
15:11Well, no chance of running into Mel there.
15:13It should be a night to remember. We're going someplace called the Limited.
15:20Well, Daphne, why aren't you dressed?
15:23I'm not sure if I'm up to going out tonight.
15:25I really hate all this sneaking around.
15:28It's not sneaking around. We're going to be out in public at the Tacoma Mall.
15:35And the most important thing is we'll be together.
15:37Mmm.
15:39All right.
15:40I suppose that really is what matters.
15:43All right, now tell me again. What are we going to eat?
15:45Curly fries.
15:52Good evening, and welcome to the home of Dr. Frej.
15:55Oh, save it. It's just Roz.
15:57What are you doing here?
15:58Um, your gift wrapping came in.
16:02I thought I just ordered a few rolls.
16:04You were more generous than you thought.
16:06Uh, put it in your room, sir.
16:08You look like a gift giver.
16:11Well, you put it in my room. He's working.
16:18Alan Murchie, lovely to see you.
16:21Likewise.
16:23I don't think you've met my wife, Diane.
16:25Enchante.
16:26And this is Henry Wood, another board member.
16:28Ha ha, Henry. Lovely to meet you.
16:31May I take your coats?
16:33Oh, thank you.
16:37Frasier, isn't that the colonel's old butler?
16:40Yes, Ferguson.
16:42My sense of duty compelled me to take him in after the colonel passed.
16:47And we felt the same sense of duty toward his art collection.
16:51Oh, that's very true.
16:55Excuse me.
16:59Collection.
17:00And the family pack really is your best value.
17:03Roz, Roz, what are you doing out here?
17:05I'm sure Mr. Worth isn't interested in gift wrapping.
17:08Nonsense. She's delightful.
17:11Now, what kind of deal would you give me if I bought a hundred rolls?
17:15Delightful.
17:17Now, what kind of deal would you give me if I bought a hundred rolls?
17:21I'd take off twenty percent.
17:23And what would you take off if I bought five thousand rolls?
17:31Everything but my bracelets.
17:36Yes, sir.
17:46Ah, Ted and Lois. Oh, please, come in.
17:50I hope you don't mind, but we had an extra ticket, so we brought a friend.
17:54Well, of course. More the merrier.
17:57Good evening, Frasier.
17:59Mel, what a delightful surprise.
18:03I had no idea you knew the Fishers.
18:07Niles, look who's here.
18:11Darling!
18:12Niles, I didn't think I'd see you here tonight. I thought you were working late.
18:18Oh, lucky me.
18:20No, lucky me.
18:24Lucky all of us. Please, let us sit down.
18:28What, uh, what are you doing here?
18:31Look, I didn't know we were stopping by here on our way, so just put on your party face and deal with it.
18:37Well, I'm sorry. I have plans.
18:39Yes, you do. To be by your wife's side.
18:42Everybody good? Everybody happy?
18:44Let's try to respect the feelings and long-held dreams of others.
18:48Don't worry, Frasier. Everything's going to be fine.
18:51Fine? Fine for whom? Is that code? What does that mean?
18:57Yeah, yeah.
18:59I'm so sorry, but listen, this party can't last more than an hour, and after that we'll have the whole evening together.
19:05I promise.
19:07Please, don't make any more promises, Iko.
19:09Okay.
19:10Oh, Niles, come over here and listen to Ted's funny joke about communists in heaven.
19:15Oh, I'm laughing already.
19:20Frasier, this party is a triumph.
19:23Oh, I shouldn't be telling you this, but if my straw poll is any indication, we may be seeing you at the next board meeting.
19:31Oh, well, I hope you don't think that's why I did this.
19:36But it's certainly a nice fringe benefit.
19:39I'm no farmer, Crane, but I can smell manure a mile away.
19:45You'll be a welcome addition.
19:50Oh, Ferguson, Ferguson, listen, make sure that everyone has champagne.
19:54I have a little toast in mind that I dare say will seal the deal.
20:00By the by, don't make any plans for New Year's Eve.
20:04Bo and I are having a blowout at our Mercer Island place.
20:07Well, that's a very generous offer, but, uh...
20:10Oh, we'd love to.
20:12Could you give me a chance to wear that new Valentino I might be getting for Christmas?
20:16Miss Moon?
20:19Uh, Mel, may I see you for a moment?
20:22Uh, well, actually, I...
20:24No, thank you, thank you, excuse us, excuse us, just one second.
20:27New Year's Eve with you, are you out of your mind?
20:30Keep your voice down.
20:32Look, I have gone along with this charade because I hurt you,
20:35but now you're just dragging it out to be vindictive.
20:38I'm not going to tolerate it any longer.
20:40Oh, really? And what are you going to do about it?
20:42Keep pushing me, you'll find out.
20:44Don't threaten me.
20:46You made a promise, and you're going to keep it.
20:49You're wrapped, Madam Dr. Crane.
20:52Thank you for coming.
20:54Madam Dr. Crane, thank you for coming.
20:57Ferguson, Ferguson, what in blue blazes are you doing?
21:00Perhaps to spare you some embarrassment, sir, I took the liberty.
21:04Stop! You're taking far too much liberty with the liberty-degging.
21:07Please.
21:09I just see that everyone has some champagne, sir.
21:13There's no need to leave. Uh, I would like to propose a toast.
21:17No, Mel, why don't you listen for once? I'm through.
21:20I'll tell you when you're through, you spineless twit, and you're not even close!
21:25Opera time, opera time!
21:29On to the show!
21:31That's it, Mel, I'm sick of these games.
21:33Niles, don't make a scene.
21:35I don't care. I love Daphne.
21:38And I'm not putting her through this torture another second.
21:41This sham of a marriage is over.
21:45It's all right, dear.
21:47We've known for some time he doesn't deserve you.
21:50Well, you've seen what I have to put up with.
21:53I've tried so hard, I really have.
21:56I don't know how you've put up with him this long.
21:58I just want out.
22:00Don't worry, I'll handle the divorce papers personally.
22:03This jackass will be out of your life by the end of the week.
22:07You mean it?
22:09See you around, friend.
22:15I love you, too.
22:21Oh, come on, Frasier.
22:23You didn't want to spend the evening with those snobs, anyway.
22:27Coming, Rose?
22:29Yeah, I'll be right there.
22:32I'm just getting an early start on the candy drive.
22:38Frasier, I'm...
22:40I'm sorry I ruined your evening.
22:42It's all right, Niles.
22:45It's a small price to pay to finally see you and Daphne together.
22:49It's true. We're free.
22:52No more games.
22:54No more games.
22:56No more games.
22:58It's true. We're free.
23:01No more hiding.
23:03Where do you want to go?
23:05Dinner? Dancing?
23:07London? Paris?
23:10Why don't we go for a walk?
23:13Even better.
23:15If you'll allow me.
23:19Thank you, Ferguson.
23:20My pleasure, sir.
23:23Thank you, Ferguson.
23:25It was my privilege, Miss Moon.
23:38All right, Ferguson, we've got some letters to member the board.
23:45What do we send, and to whom do we send it?
23:48What do we send, and to whom do we send it?
23:51Actually, sir, I regret to inform you that I must tender my resignation.
23:56Please, don't be upset that things didn't go so well this evening.
23:59I'll make it up to you. Send yourself something.
24:07Thank you, sir, but it's not you.
24:11It was your brother and Miss Moon.
24:15His willingness to break social rank has inspired me,
24:20and there's a certain Lady Westerfield whose acquaintance I'd like to renew.
24:26Ah, true love and all that.
24:31Well, good luck, Ferguson.
24:35Thank you, sir.
24:37Now, if you'll excuse me, I've had rather a difficult evening.
24:42I think I'll just go take a sad soak in the tub.
24:48Sir, after such an evening, it's not right for a man to draw his own bath.
24:55So, if I may take the liberty...
25:02Carry on, Ferguson.
25:11Thank you, sir.
25:41I have legs.
25:44They're calling again.
25:47Thank you!