Frasier Season 7 Episode 1 Momma Mia
Frasier Season 7 Episode 1 Momma Mia
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00:00Exactly why I hate fix-ups. She's not coming. Just give her more minutes
00:04Come on, tell me about the cabin. Oh, all right
00:08well, mom and dad used to take us out there when we were kids and
00:12Now it's my thought it might be a nice birthday gift for dad if we took him up there again. Oh
00:17This is ridiculous. I'm being stood up on a blind date. I'm pathetic
00:21We're so insecure. God, where does that come from?
00:25Jessica will be here
00:27Jessica I thought you said her name was Jennifer Jennifer Jennifer goes out with a weatherman. She's way out of your league
00:35Let me have your cell phone I'll call her and see what's going on
00:40Raise her. Oh
00:43I'm sorry was the most striking woman just came in. Well, it's probably just no no, no, it's not Jessica. She's with a man
00:50God I don't know what it is about. I can't take my eyes off of her
00:55You suppose they're a couple
01:00Tell you what, you have to go over there for me and find out what you owe me come on
01:05Well, it's that table right for the counter
01:14Excuse me. I know this is a little weird, but my friend over there thinks you're really really cute
01:20You want to know if you two are on a date a date? Oh, no Hank and I are just friends. Oh, that's good news
01:27That's really good news. Hi Hank. I'm
01:42Excuse me. I
01:44I
01:46Suppose you noticed I was staring at your table and I was just wondering if
01:52That gentleman you're with is he your husband? Oh, no. No, uh
01:57Boyfriend, no. Oh wonderful. Would you like me to introduce you? He just broke up with someone
02:06I I was I
02:08Was staring at you
02:10You were yes
02:13Gosh I know this may seem awfully bold of me. I'm not the sort of man who hits on every woman
02:18He sees excuse me. Hi
02:21Your friend said you wanted to know if I was single
02:26It's okay, you don't have to be embarrassed yes, he does
02:33There's been a little mistake you see I asked my friend to it to approach this this
02:38Lovely woman and she obviously mistook you for the woman I met well, that's certainly understandable seeing as you're lovely as well
02:43He seems just at this moment. That's the well. I'm for many apologies
02:49Gosh I'm sorry. Let me start again. I'm Frazier Crane. Oh, you're Frazier. Hi. I'm Jessica
02:58Jessica
02:59Roz thought we might hit it off
03:02Indeed, we might have you see if not for the fact that I've just met
03:08This woman to whom I'd be glad to introduce you except. I don't know what her name is yet
03:12So, uh, you know Ross could explain all this as she's sitting over there next to that scalping woman
03:21Gosh, you know, you must think I'm some sort of a smooth operator. No, not really. I
03:28Really am terribly sorry
03:33I'm Mia Mia Preston Mia Mia Preston
03:38The children's book author. Yes. Oh my goodness
03:41Panda in the parlor. Oh
03:44Wow, I love that book. I've read it a hundred times
03:48Most of my readers can't even count that
03:52I used to read it to my son, you know
03:54How many is the quart of milk we poured in the backyard waiting for the Oreo tree to grow?
04:00Gosh, you know, I'd I'd love to take you to lunch sometime
04:04lunch
04:05Well, all right coffee anything. I'd just like a chance to get to know you better
04:12Well, I'm okay you're certainly persistent
04:16Well a wise woman once wrote
04:18No cookie jar is up too high
04:21For a panda who will try and try
04:26Now you're scaring me
04:36Hey death
04:40I'll see you wearing your buffet pants
04:44They're hip waiters
04:47Breaking them in for the weekend
04:49What's fresh? He's probably off somewhere with that Mia. Oh, yeah seems to be getting serious, huh?
04:55You know, it's funny. You can always tell starts using French words for no reason. Yeah, and that laugh the giddy one
05:06Thank you, hello old
05:09Well, there's a faux pas averted I almost wore my big rubber pants today
05:16There for the trip I'm nearly done packing I just gotta get my fly vest and my tackle box and it's one more thing
05:23It's what we're taking off in a few hours. So depeche d'oeuvre. Oh, yeah earplugs for the car ride up. Thank
05:30Oh
05:31Dad, don't forget to pack some sturdy knee socks should get some for myself
05:36You remember the insect situation of the cabin good Lord miles not this bug phobia of yours
05:43It's not a phobia the mosquitoes up. There are huge my first summer
05:48I was chased off the end of the dock by one the size of a pelican
05:52So, dr. Crane, when do we finally get to meet this new girlfriend of yours? Oh Mia, well, she's on her way over here right now
05:58I see she's gonna take me out to buy some new trousers. You see this new diet. She's got me on
06:03I've lost my love handles just what I needed the most
06:11So miles you got those movies
06:14You got those movies
06:17Movies
06:19For dad's birthday. We had some of his old home movies transferred to video tape
06:25God, no, I haven't seen these in years. You know, definitely. It's gonna be quite a hoot this weekend
06:30You're sure you don't want to join us gutting fish watching home movies and hosing down your father's pants
06:37It does sound tempting
06:47Come on in come on it this is
06:49Daphne moon and that's my brother Niles. Oh, it's great to finally meet you, too
06:56likewise
06:58So what do you got there? Oh, I baked some fat-free goodies for your trip. Oh, where's the kitchen?
07:03Right this way and there's a ton of muffins if anybody wants one. Oh
07:08Not for me. I have some problems with allergies. Really? Well, these are just wheat germ oak bran and carob
07:13Oh, well throw in a sea scallop. You can call the paramedics right now
07:21She seems nice doesn't she
07:24You're right, dr. Crane, I'm sorry Daphne. It's just that
07:29The meal looks exactly like our mother mrs. Crane
07:34I've only seen photos mine, but now that you mention it there is a resemblance. No, it's not just a resemblance
07:40She is the spitting image
07:44I'm shocked Frazier didn't mention
07:47So, what do you think of her? Oh, she's wonderful but Frazier
07:53Does she remind you of anyone? Oh, you noticed that too. Are you kidding?
07:58The minute I laid eyes on even I can see it really. Well, she does look a bit like Ross
08:04But she's a totally different person
08:07In fact, our relationship is unlike any I've ever had before
08:12Come on, handsome. Let's go buy you some pants. Okay
08:16Come on handsome, let's go buy you some pants. Oh, okay
08:33Oh, wow
08:36Look at this. I
08:39Don't believe it
08:43Nothing's changed
08:46Niles
08:51Wow, I don't believe it. Look at this. Nothing's changed
08:57It's carrot denials look at this fireplace, ah
09:03Your mom and I used to sit in front of the fire here holding hands
09:08And I wonder if that oh
09:11Yeah, it's still here that
09:14Graffiti that you scratched into the floor. That's not graffiti. Dad. That's a Latin pun semper ubi sub ubi always wear underwear
09:26That'll be Frazier and Mia, yeah, I was really surprised he brought her here for the weekend. What's she like anyway? Oh, well
09:34She made quite an impression on me. I'm curious to see what you'll think
09:39Yeah
09:41Would you hand me that police I want to put on some bug repellent. Oh sure
09:46It's kind of heavy. What you got in there bug repellent
10:08I
10:15Think you stay out there as long as you like
10:19She can't take your eyes off that sunset is everything all set. Yes
10:22I just want to make sure this VCR works for our little home movies later. I
10:27Check he's splendid. Oh Niles. You know what? We're gonna need some more logs from the woodpile. Come give me a hand
10:33All right, Oh
10:35Isn't it great to be back here?
10:38You know, I want to thank you guys. This is some gift. You're welcome
10:43Dad, listen, if you're enjoying this little trip down memory lane, wait, you see the other blast for the pass
10:48We brought up here
10:53Martin hi
10:57It's Mia oh
10:59My gosh Frasier did tell you I was coming didn't he? Oh
11:07Yeah, well nice meeting you it's very nice to meet you
11:13Well, it's so beautiful here. Well, I'm glad you like it. Are you kidding? I feel like I'm in heaven
11:20Starting to feel that way myself
11:23Oh
11:24Nice going Niles
11:26What happened Niles dropped a huge log right onto my hand when he was startled by a moth
11:36It was not a moth it was a bat I could tell from that eerie high-pitched scream that was you
11:45No, frankly, I wish you'd start seeing someone about this bug phobia of yours it is not a phobia
11:52I have a healthy fear of our natural predators. It's us versus them. And frankly, I'm starting to wonder just whose side you're on
12:00It just amazes me that a good psychiatrist could be so blind to something so obvious. Oh, honey your poor thumb
12:06We should go put something on that. Oh, okay
12:14God she looks just like your mother. I know and Frasier doesn't see it. You're kidding
12:22No, and he has the goal to tell me I'm blind
12:24He's clearly the one dealing with repressed material not to mention the obvious edible issues
12:30article gargle Google Google
12:34What now, you know how it feels what are you talking about?
12:39Talking about Freud's theory of the Oedipus complex
12:42He believed that every man subconsciously wants to sleep with his mother and kill his father
12:48It's modeled on the Greek tragedy of Oedipus who actually did sleep with his mother and kill his father when he realized what he'd
12:55Done he gouged out both his eyes
12:57Probably not too tough to pick that guy out of a lineup. Oh
13:03Why don't we just send out engraved invitations for all the bugs at the forest
13:10The question is how do we bring it to Frazier's attention?
13:13We don't dad denial of this magnitude is not healthy. It's for his own good. No Niles, okay
13:19It's for my own good. Come on after the way he wagged his finger at me
13:23You can't expect I'm just gonna be quiet about this
13:25Look, the last thing I want on my birthday weekend is some big long drawn-out argument between you two
13:31All right. Yeah, let's just chill this beer that we brought. All right, just put all these weird thoughts out of our minds
13:38Fine. Oh
13:40Sorry
13:42Come on, hon. Let's go. See if our room still has that
13:46Big creaky old pine bed that mom and dad used to sleep
13:59Well, I guess a warm-up wouldn't kill us
14:01You
14:08Boy being in this place really takes me back
14:13Remember that summer. I tried to teach you boys how to fish
14:17You just didn't have the neck. So I went out my bought these two big trout
14:24Snuck them on the boat. Oh
14:26Marty you're terrible
14:28And then I put the trout on their hooks and I dropped him over the side while you two were still arguing about the last
14:35dramamine I
14:39Felt bad about fooling you but now what's the harm of a little fantasy that makes you feel good more wine
14:46Oh, thanks
14:48Oh
14:51Frasier you've hardly touched your chicken is something wrong. Oh, no. No, it's just it
14:56Well, I'm having a little trouble holding the knife because someone dropped a log on my thumb
15:01Oh, it didn't hurt you that badly. You are such a baby
15:05You are a baby running and screaming because of a little moth. I told you it was a bat
15:10It was not a rat boys. That's not not at the table. Your father's right
15:15Now Frasier if your hands hurting you I'll cut your meat for you
15:22You know not to dwell on this but you know, I could give you the number of a man who specializes in bug phobias
15:28Oh, where's that? So frankly while you're at it, you should talk to him about your compulsive chair dusting
15:34I believe that is related Frazier. Well, I'm sorry dad. I think a good psychiatrist should be self-aware open wide
15:45So
15:47You're saying I lack self-awareness, why don't we change this up? All right, this is a great meal
15:54It certainly was Frazier when it comes to girlfriends. You've certainly struck the mother load
16:03You haven't even read her book yet that it's a delightful series about a an adventurous little panda
16:10sounds worthy of mother goose
16:14What's coming up next for you man, well, I'll have to swear you to secrecy
16:19It looks like that panda might just find its way into the attic
16:25Mum's the word
16:34Help you get dried off. Yes. Oh dear. It looks like these pants may have to be repressed
16:40I
16:45Am sorry dad, you can't expect me to let him sit there in his booster seat and tell me I lack self-awareness
16:51He's gonna pick up on what you're saying. You want the whole thing to blow up this level of denial is unhealthy
16:57We're not in denial. Everything's perfect. This is the best birthday
17:01I
17:07Know it's early, but I'm exhausted. Oh, yeah. Well, you go you hit the sack. Thanks for dinner
17:16I'll be along in a minute
17:19Frazier yes before you turn in there's a little something we need to deal with. Oh, jeez. Right dad your birthday gift
17:26Oh, yes, my gift is my gift. I want to my gift. All right, it's my birthday this weekend, right?
17:34Come on it'll be fun. Oh, yes. Oh, come on seeing you and me dad mom
17:44You know, I'm getting more excited
17:48Now listen you sit right here. Oh, okay. What is it? I got a movie. Oh, that's right
17:56Here we go
17:59Okay, oh
18:01My old home movie. I haven't seen these for 20 years. Happy birthday dad. Now you can watch them whenever you love
18:13This is that just the reaction you were hoping for one of them
18:26Oh
18:28Dear God
18:34Do you two see what I see
18:37They could be twins Frazier. Take it easy. You do see it. How could you miss it?
18:44How could I miss it? Just
18:46Calm him down and I'll go get him a drink of water. All right
18:50Frazier Frazier Frazier. The important thing is not to blow this out of proportion after all
18:57Was that a hummingbird
19:03What is the matter with me Frazier you didn't do anything wrong your feelings for Mia stem from perfectly natural
19:10Edible desires but edible desires are supposed to resolve themselves by the age of six. Oh my god. Say get me back you idiot
19:26Them for two seconds. Oh, no, no, not here but Frazier you all right here
19:34Yeah, there's let me try to calm down a little bit
19:40She's not my mother Fazier
19:56Oh
20:05Hello
20:09You wanted to see me I
20:13Hope I wasn't rushing you
20:16No, no, it is bedtime
20:20Are you okay, sweetie? You seem a little tense. No, no, no, no, I just need to
20:26Calm down a little bit. Yeah, just let me uh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, see that's better
20:33Honey it seems like you're in pain. Oh
20:38It's your hand
20:40Yes. Yes, that's it. Yeah. Well, I know what the problem is there. I
20:46Never kissed your little boo-boo
20:49We don't want these other fingers to be jealous do we
20:56Honey
20:58Please tell me what's wrong
21:03I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just having a little trouble getting comfortable
21:10Well, was it something I did something I said at dinner what?
21:15Okay, okay
21:19Gosh this is awkward. Uh
21:24I've just realized that you bear a striking resemblance to my mother
21:31But you just noticed it now yes
21:36Well, it can't be that strong of a resemblance then can it
21:39That's strong, huh
21:43Well, listen, I hope you can get over it because I think we have a pretty great thing going here
21:49Don't you?
21:52Yes
21:53We have loads in common
21:55We get along great. Mm-hmm. And don't you want to stick around long enough to see how that?
22:01Naughty panda gets out of the attic
22:03Oh, I do yes
22:08You're right, you know just talking about this makes me feel much better. Oh gosh, you're not my mother
22:15No, this is ridiculous
22:18So you're okay
22:22I'm okay
22:24So you're okay
22:28I'm okay
22:35I'm better than okay. Okay, then
22:55Oh, well, there's your cab
23:00Take care of yourself. Yeah
23:02I'm, sorry. This is so awkward. No, really. It's fine. Okay. Okay
23:08Here we go
23:14Sorry
23:17I
23:21Think that cab was for me. Yeah
23:25You know, I I tried to get past it, but I just couldn't I'm sorry. So yeah me too fraser
23:32Well, I won't be getting much sleep tonight. Yeah, i'm up too
23:37I won't be getting a wink of sleep either the way those crickets are raging
23:41Yeah
23:44Miles why don't you get us all a nice big brandy? Oh, yeah
23:52I don't make too much of this fraser. So you picked a woman who looked like your mother. So what?
23:59Liker would have been fine dad
24:02I'm, not talking about a similar hairdo or the same crooked smile. I was dating a replicant
24:08Now frasier, I know you're gonna go crazy convincing yourself that you've got some big complex, but couldn't it be simpler than that?
24:17Maybe you just miss your mother. I know I do
24:23I do think about her a lot
24:27We all do
24:29Thanks now, thank you
24:32Hmm
24:36Hey, I think we've talked about all this enough for one night, so
24:41This is still my birthday
24:43I want to watch the rest of my movies
24:45That's a great idea
24:50Check
24:52So
25:01Well, there certainly are a lot of us fighting
25:05You know dad
25:06I wish there were more shots of you in it. Oh, no. No, I like being the cameraman
25:12I got to focus on the things I liked
25:22So
25:39Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling tossed salads and scrambled eggs quite stylish
25:48And maybe I seem a bit confused. Well, maybe
25:52But I got you picked
25:57But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:04They're calling again
26:07Frazier has left the building