Frasier Season 2 Episode 24 Dark Victory
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00:00Well, Caroline, if you've been in therapy for two years and you feel like you're no longer making any progress,
00:05perhaps you've reached a plateau, or you and your therapist have simply gone as far as you can together.
00:13Maybe it is time for a change. It's kind of dry and long-winded.
00:19Well, two years is certainly a long time to spend with a psychiatrist you find dry and long-winded.
00:26Amen to that.
00:29Thanks, Dr. Crane. You've given me a lot to think about.
00:33Would it be okay if I call back sometime and pick your brain?
00:37Well, just consider me your mental banjo.
00:42Well, that's it for this fine Friday, Seattle.
00:45This is Fraser Crane saying we'll see you next week.
00:50Good show, Fraser.
00:52Oh, Ross, I've been waiting for this moment for an entire week.
01:04That's what I love about you, Fraser. You work hard and you play hard.
01:09Oh, Ross, you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to this weekend.
01:13You know, there comes a time when even the most conscientious of psychiatrists has had his fill of other people's problems.
01:21Hi, is one of you Ross Doyle?
01:24Yes. That's all the clues we're going to give you.
01:32A little offering from one of your suitors, perhaps, eh?
01:37Maybe a nice string of pearls, a teardrop pendant.
01:43It's a brick of cheese.
01:49Well, on the right chain, I can see that looking smart.
01:54It's from my family. They're in Wisconsin at my uncle's dairy farm having a family reunion.
01:59Oh, well, why didn't you go, Ross?
02:01Oh, there wasn't time. But now I wish I'd gone.
02:04Fraser, we always have so much fun.
02:07Like this one time there was this huge cheese platter out and one of my uncles started speaking in cheese language.
02:13You know, like instead of saying, hello, how are you? He said, hello, how bardy?
02:22Someone else would go, oh, I'm Gouda.
02:27Oh, I don't know what would come after that.
02:29Well, if I'd been there, the sound of a gunshot.
02:35Don't make fun. I miss those people.
02:38Oh, Ross. Oh, there, there.
02:43We play games and sing songs.
02:45Oh, of course, I know.
02:47And Aunt Libby does cannonballs into the lake.
02:50Oh, yes, the memories must be.
02:52And then Uncle Ned has too much to drink and he starts putting pants on all the cows.
02:58Oh.
03:01Listen, Ross, look, if what you're looking for is family fun tonight, why don't you come to my place?
03:06It's my dad's birthday.
03:07I completely forgot about it last year.
03:09I'm going to make up for it this year.
03:10There's just one rule.
03:12No work, just a good time.
03:14I don't think I'd be much fun.
03:16Ross, I insist.
03:18There's no one I enjoy partying with more than you.
03:21And I just hate to see you like this.
03:24I, I camembert it.
03:27Oh.
03:30How sweet.
03:40All right.
03:43It's someone's birthday.
03:46I hope you're all in the mood for a party.
03:49I know I am.
03:50You're bloody impossible.
03:52You're a bloody nag.
03:53Don't you shake that cane at me.
03:55Quack, quack, quack, quack.
03:56Hey.
03:58Oh, for heaven's sake, not again.
04:01I just decided what I want for my birthday.
04:03Fire Daphne.
04:05You'll have to rehire me first because I quit.
04:08I hope I never see this place or that hateful old cankasaur ever again.
04:15Okay, what is it this time?
04:16The usual.
04:18I ask him to do his exercises and he twists his face up like a mewling little baby.
04:23Why don't you tell him how you ask me to do it?
04:25By pouring my beer down the sink and banging on the spaghetti pot with a wooden spoon.
04:30I'm here for your health.
04:32I don't have to be your friend.
04:33Well, that's good because I got a friend right here who doesn't happen to be a yammering nag.
04:39And eat your fat chicken.
04:41Oh, stop this.
04:44The two of you have the same argument all the time.
04:46You can just pick this up again tomorrow.
04:48Tonight, we are going to have a party.
04:53Yeah, I went down to Amelia's.
04:54I got your favorite lemon cake, you see.
04:56I also got some snacks and some champagne.
04:59Can we all just agree to try to have a little fun this evening, hmm?
05:02Oh, no.
05:03That is probably wrong.
05:04She's been very down this week and what she's in need of is a very happy and carefree environment.
05:09Frankly, I could use the same thing.
05:12Well, can you just greet him, maybe?
05:14Truce?
05:15Oh, she works a big mouth.
05:17Oh, boy.
05:20Roz, hello.
05:23Hey, Martin.
05:24Hey, Roz.
05:25Happy birthday.
05:27Oh, you didn't have to do this.
05:31Hey, thanks, Roz.
05:33I'll have to model it for you later.
05:35He's already modeling the last one someone gave him.
05:38What?
05:40Listen, I have a very nice evening planned.
05:42Can we all just try to be civil?
05:46You unprincipled charlatan.
05:50Unconscionable fraud.
05:53Happy birthday, Dad.
05:54Thanks.
05:57Miles, what are you talking about?
05:59You spoke to a patient of mine today, Caroline.
06:03As a result of your fast food approach to psychiatry, she left me.
06:10Caroline was your patient?
06:14Two years of my hard work wiped out by one of your two-minute maccessions.
06:25Miles, I merely suggested that she consider a change.
06:29Based on what diagnostic method?
06:31One potato, two potato?
06:34Oh, fancy that.
06:36A member of the crane family who doesn't take the time to do something.
06:40Quack.
06:41Exactly, Dad.
06:42Quack.
06:43Oh.
06:45I was talking to her.
06:47Don't you raise your cane at her.
06:59Now, wait!
07:00Roz, where are you going?
07:04I think I better leave.
07:06Oh, we were just talking. I wasn't fighting. We were talking.
07:11Yeah, I'd just really rather be by myself.
07:14Thanks, guys. I had a wonderful time.
07:20I hope you're happy. You've ruined her evening.
07:23Her evening? It's my birthday.
07:25Right, well, let's get that out of the way right now.
07:28Who's ready for cake?
07:31I certainly don't want to keep anybody here a second longer than they have to be,
07:35so let's get this over with.
07:37Thanks for a great party.
07:43Well, there's nothing wrong with Dad's lungs.
07:49Every light in the city is out.
07:51It must be a blackout.
07:53Don't panic.
07:54Certainly worst places we could all be in a blackout.
07:57Like the elevator.
07:58Oh, my God, Roz!
07:59Why couldn't it be Daphne?
08:03Stop doing that!
08:10We just need to get some light in here.
08:12Daddy, where are you?
08:14Oh, excuse me, Dr. Crane.
08:16Quite all right, Daphne.
08:19Oh, Daphne, where are the hurricane lamps?
08:21They're in the kitchen. I'll get them.
08:23All right, Dad. Dad, why don't you light a fire?
08:27Oh, excuse me, Dr. Crane.
08:29Not your fault, Daphne.
08:33Eddie, where are you, Eddie?
08:37I found him.
08:41Well, that's better.
08:42I'm gonna go get my radio, see what the hell's going on.
08:45All right.
08:48Oh, Roz. Roz, are you all right?
08:51I'm fine.
08:52Fine, the blackout hit just as the elevator doors opened.
08:55On the 14th floor.
08:57So I stood in the hallway, trying to decide
09:00whether to, you know, come back up here with you guys
09:03or take my chances in the pitch-black streets
09:06with the muggers and the weirdos.
09:10So I went down a couple of flights.
09:15And then I changed my mind.
09:18Meanwhile, somebody's probably looting my apartment.
09:22Yes, I hear there's a thriving black market
09:24been badly designed for Micah coffee tables.
09:29At least I have my own sense of style.
09:32You won't even buy a chair
09:34unless some fave French aristocrat
09:36has set his fat satin fanny in it.
09:39Louis XIV was not fay.
09:41Everyone wore garters in the 18th century.
09:45Faye, you know he was a very big man.
09:47C'est l'enfant!
09:49C'est l'enfant!
09:54Well, we can all sit here in the dark and be miserable.
09:57Or we can try to have some fun.
10:00I'm going to call Meris.
10:02Well, the Niles has voted. Who votes for fun?
10:07I'm gonna go get a big glass of wine.
10:09Well, it looks like the stakes we were going to have her out.
10:12I better go see what I can find.
10:14Thank you, dear.
10:15Oh, sorry, Dr. Green.
10:18All right, y'all, over South Seattle.
10:20We're working on it now.
10:22Hello. Meris, thank God I got you.
10:24Listen, darling, there is no need to panic.
10:26The most important thing is to stay calm...
10:30about the blackout.
10:33Meris, take off your slumber mask.
10:38No, no, darling, don't panic.
10:40Honey, no, honey, we're...
10:42Honey, honey...
10:48She's fine.
10:58Oh, yum scrum, pigs bum, here's something nice.
11:02Half a gallon tubs of cookies and cream and vanilla fudge.
11:06Hmm, well, let's take care of these right away before they melt.
11:10There's no need to worry, ladies.
11:12The freezer will keep them cold for at least 24 hours.
11:14Shut up!
11:18Well, I don't like to get nostalgic,
11:20but it was sure great last year when you forgot my birthday.
11:26Darling, you know what we need to do?
11:29We need to liven things up a little bit.
11:32How about a game?
11:34What was that game we played at the Vanderkellens
11:36while they were costuming the servants for the living chess match?
11:39It was, uh...
11:41Oh, yes, I remember!
11:43It was, uh, I'm the dullest person!
11:45Well, at least pick a game someone else has a chance of winning.
11:53Well, that's got things shaking, okay.
11:56Come on, Dad, come on.
11:58The object of the game is we all get pennies,
12:01and we're supposed to try to get the other person's pennies.
12:05Please, slow down.
12:09All right, now, if I was going to go,
12:12I would say, I am the dullest person because...
12:16I have never been on a roller coaster, all right?
12:19And then all of you that have been on a roller coaster
12:22would give me a penny.
12:24Now then, all right, now we all have our pennies.
12:29Who would like to go first? Daphne?
12:31I can't think of anything.
12:33Of course you can. Just say the first thing that comes into your mind.
12:36I'm the dullest person because...
12:38Oh, I don't know,
12:40I don't know because...
12:42I've never made love in a lift or a phone booth
12:46or on an aeroplane or a merry-go-round.
12:49All right, well, that's good, but strategically speaking,
12:51that's not the best way to get our pennies, you see.
12:53It should be something that someone else might have actually...
12:58done.
13:11I was in college. I was trying to find myself.
13:16All you needed to do was look under the nearest man.
13:23All right, Dad, get our pennies.
13:26All right, I'm the dullest person because...
13:29I've never been to France.
13:31That's good, Dad. That's in the spirit.
13:33How about that?
13:35I'm the dullest person because...
13:37I've never been to France.
13:39That's good, Dad. That's in the spirit.
13:41How about that?
13:43Well, that's something you've never done.
13:45Well, let's see. I'm the dullest person because...
13:47I've never sabotaged my brother's career.
13:49Will you give it a rest?
13:51Oh, your father could chew you out to do that.
13:53Quack, quack.
13:59Will you people stop?
14:01You are torturing me.
14:03Amnesty International.
14:06That's it. I'm out of here.
14:08Oh, Dad. Dad, you haven't even cut your cake yet.
14:10Look, where are you going?
14:12I'm going to sit in the tub with a hairdryer...
14:14and wait for the power to come back on.
14:18Well, this blackout could go on all night.
14:21It's time I braved the dark streets...
14:23and got back to my Maris.
14:25I just hope this isn't like the lightning storm last month.
14:28The only way I could coax her out from under the bed...
14:30was by tying a Prozac to the end of a string.
14:39Roz?
14:41You want to have a little cake?
14:44No, thanks.
14:48This reminds me of Wisconsin.
14:50All dark and deserted.
14:54That's on the license plate, isn't it?
14:57Roz?
14:59What's the real reason you didn't go to your reunion?
15:01You boys made it before.
15:04Well...
15:06No.
15:08No, you said you didn't want to hear any more problems today...
15:11and I don't blame you.
15:13I think we have...
15:15time for one more caller.
15:21Well...
15:24Every year I go to my reunion...
15:26and my relatives crowd around me...
15:29and I answer the same questions.
15:32No, I'm not married.
15:34No, I don't have any kids.
15:36Yes, I still have that tattoo.
15:39No, you can't see it.
15:44Just be so nice if I could at least say...
15:47I have a great career.
15:49Roz, you do have a great career.
15:52Tell that to my relatives.
15:54You know, according to them...
15:56I spend four hours on the phone every day...
15:58with a bunch of losers and wackos...
16:01and then I turn them over to some tedious know-it-all...
16:04who gives them pointless advice.
16:11Oh, that's not me talking.
16:13That's my Uncle Ned.
16:15Oh, yes, the cow haberdasher.
16:21You know, Roz, ten years ago...
16:23KACL didn't have any women producers.
16:27You're a pioneer.
16:29You've won awards.
16:31You help people.
16:35Sounds right when you say it.
16:37Mm-hmm.
16:38I bet you're just looking for too much from your job.
16:41You should start exploring other areas of your life...
16:43interests, maybe a...
16:45maybe a serious relationship.
16:49Maybe you're right.
16:52How long can I go on chasing these hunky 25-year-olds...
16:55that are all looks and no substance?
16:58Exactly, Roz.
16:59Oh, I'm serious. I'm asking how long?
17:01Three, four years?
17:06Oh, bloody hell!
17:09Daphne, you all right?
17:11I broke your father's souvenir spoon rest...
17:14from Atlantic City.
17:16Oh, good.
17:19You know, when I have my own kitchen...
17:22I'm gonna put me spoons right on the damn counter.
17:25I've always said...
17:27as soon as I save $2,000...
17:29I'll get me own place.
17:31Well, how much have you saved?
17:33$4,000.
17:35Oh, I know what you're thinking.
17:38What's wrong with me?
17:40Why do I stay here?
17:42No, I was just thinking I must be paying you too much.
17:46My friends all say...
17:48you should be on your own.
17:50Have a place, have a life.
17:53Why do I stay here?
17:56Well, could it be that maybe you...
17:59you like us?
18:03You know, my grandmother used to have a cat.
18:06It made the old thing keep ruining the furniture and stuff.
18:09I asked her why she kept it...
18:13and she said that...
18:15maybe it was because she liked...
18:18having another heartbeat around the house.
18:22It just makes me feel like I'm not very ambitious.
18:26I mean, I could be working in a hospital or a clinic.
18:30Of course you could, Daphne.
18:32But maybe that's not what's important to you right now.
18:35I think you like being part of a family.
18:38What's wrong with that?
18:40Nothing, I suppose.
18:43Although...
18:45me friends wonder how I can live with such demanding men.
18:49No, they call me demanding.
18:51No, actually they call you a pompous ass.
18:54Oh.
18:58But now you've learned that I'm not.
19:00No, I've learned to work around it.
19:03No.
19:05Excuse me, I'm getting a beer.
19:07Excuse me, I'm getting a beer.
19:09And yes, I know it's not good for me.
19:11And yes, I know it's gonna make me fat.
19:13And yes, I know it'll keep me from doing my exercises.
19:16Do you have anything to add to that?
19:18Yes.
19:19Happy birthday, you old sod.
19:28They try to confuse you on purpose.
19:31Oh.
19:38Room temperature.
19:40Just like merry old England, another place I'll probably never get to.
19:45Dad, you used to talk about going to Europe when your hip improved.
19:49Now you're saying you'll never get there? What's changed?
19:52Nothing.
19:53My hip's the same as it was a year ago.
19:56I had it in my head I'd be better by now,
19:58but I'm not and I'm probably never gonna be.
20:01Uh, you don't understand.
20:04You're happy just sitting on your can,
20:07doing your little radio show, living inside your head,
20:10but I'm used to being out there.
20:15Eddie!
20:28Listen, Dad.
20:31You can still travel.
20:34Oh, you can.
20:37If you can't walk around Paris,
20:39you could sit at a nice cafe and let Paris walk past you.
20:46Maybe buy a glass of wine for a beautiful mademoiselle.
20:50Get yourself a nice bottle of imported beer.
20:53I only like Valentines.
20:56Paris Valentine's is imported beer.
21:02And you are the handsome Americain
21:07with the adorable accent.
21:14I like mustaches over there, don't they?
21:1819 floors down to my car.
21:21Garage door's electric.
21:23Can't open.
21:2420 floors back up.
21:26Lost count.
21:28Bad lady upstairs.
21:30Big dog.
21:32Need place to die.
21:37Same to you, buddy.
21:39Who are you talking to?
21:43Same to you, buddy.
21:45Who are you talking to?
21:47Some rowdy guys downstairs.
21:49Come on out here, Martin.
21:50I want you to introduce us.
21:54All right, keep your pants on.
21:57Here, Niles, let me take your coat.
21:59Oh, haven't you taken enough from me today?
22:02Oh, Niles, you're being silly and irrational.
22:05Sticks and stones.
22:07You're acting just like Dad.
22:09You take that back!
22:15You know you're not really mad at me, Niles.
22:17You know I didn't tell that woman to leave you.
22:20You merely suggested it as an option.
22:23It was all her choice.
22:25Could it be that you're really upset
22:27just because you couldn't help that woman?
22:30You know I really hate that.
22:32When you take a simple criticism
22:34and you turn it back on me.
22:36I think I'm right.
22:38Well, of course you're right.
22:39Why do you think I hate it?
22:44Do you have any idea
22:46what I went through trying to help that woman?
22:49Yes, I think I do.
22:52Niles, you're a perfectionist.
22:59It's false gold.
23:00That's not such a bad one to have.
23:02Just would have been nice if
23:04I could have been the one to tell her
23:06that it was time to go.
23:08Instead, she had to hear it from some
23:10lib, albeit insightful, radio pundit.
23:17Those rowdy guys downstairs
23:19invited us to a blackout party.
23:21They got cold beer!
23:22In Yarlsburg.
23:23You know, it's funny.
23:24I was feeling a bit down before,
23:26but suddenly I'm in a posse mood.
23:28I am, too.
23:29What about our party?
23:31Well, there are people downstairs.
23:33Yeah, and they got barbecue!
23:34Come on, Frasier.
23:35Oh, no, no, no, thank you.
23:37I'm not really in the mood anymore.
23:39Oh, don't be a party pooper.
23:41Oh, let him be.
23:42He's always been that way.
23:44Excuse me, just a second.
23:46Maybe it's time for a little lesson
23:48about what it's like to live the life
23:50of this particular party pooper.
23:52Spend the whole damn week
23:54ministering to the troubled and the neurotic
23:57and sometimes just plain goofy.
24:00And I hang up my earphones,
24:02and it doesn't end there.
24:04Out on the street, at the cafe,
24:07even in this building,
24:09more people come up for help.
24:11More problems.
24:13I suppose they just think it's okay.
24:15It's what I do.
24:17But every time I try to help them,
24:19it costs me a little piece of myself.
24:23A little bit here, a little bit there,
24:25a little bit here, a little bit there.
24:27A little bit here, a little bit there.
24:29So I end up feeling like a zebra carcass
24:32in a Serengeti surrounded by burping vultures.
24:38Well, this happened to be one of those weeks.
24:42I had my escape planned.
24:44I was gonna come home for an evening of fun
24:46with my extended family.
24:48What do I get?
24:49I get the four of you
24:51going at each other like the Borgias
24:53on a bad day.
24:57So I roll up my sleeves,
25:00and I tend to each one of you.
25:03And you all feel better.
25:05And the minute you get a whiff of mesquite
25:08coming from down below,
25:11you are out the door
25:14without so much as a thank you.
25:18Well, thank you for the invitation,
25:20but I am frankly fed up
25:22with people and their problems.
25:25The doctor is out.
25:27Oh, come on.
25:30Okay, apologies accepted.
25:32Grace, you come.
25:36No, no, look, you...
25:39I love you all. I really do.
25:41Just what I want is to be left alone,
25:43right here, where no one needs anything from me.
25:46Bill.
25:47All right.
25:48Bring yourself in.
25:49I'll bring you some bark.
25:50You wouldn't like this.
25:51Come downstairs.
25:52I love you. Have fun.
25:53Okay.
25:54Oh, my God, it's dark out here.
25:57Okay.
26:10Oh, for God's sake, Eddie.
26:13No, I'm not gonna do it.
26:15No.
26:25No.
26:37Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling
26:40Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
26:44Quite stylish
26:46And maybe I seem a bit confused
26:49Well, maybe, but I got you pegged
26:53But I don't know what to do
26:55With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
27:00They're calling again
27:03Frasier has left the building