Frasier Season 8 Episode 9 Frasier's Edge
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00:00I think we have just enough time for one more call.
00:03Okay, we have Andy from Bremerton on line three.
00:07Hello Andy, I'm listening.
00:10Am I on?
00:11Yes, go ahead.
00:13Can you hear me?
00:15Yes, you're on the air.
00:17Hello?
00:19You're on.
00:20Am I on?
00:21Not anymore.
00:22This is Dr. Fraser Crane on KACL wishing you good mental health.
00:32Gather around everyone.
00:33Oh, hey, what's all this?
00:35I'm here to officially announce this year's CB nominations.
00:40Oh, well, he made us wait until your show was over.
00:43It was interminable.
00:45First of all, KACL has been nominated for a total of nine CBs.
00:55Which ties us with KPX, the Mighty Pixie, for most nominations.
01:01Mighty Pixie, they do very well.
01:02Now, all the nominees were chosen by a panel of experts.
01:05Just give me that.
01:09Oh, here's one.
01:10Best Restaurant Critic, Gil Chester.
01:15Thank God I'm nominated and I won't have to attend the Chestertons.
01:21The Chestertons?
01:22It's an elaborate award show my wife and the dogs put on while I'm overlooked by the CBs.
01:30Ross, I don't see our names anywhere.
01:31No, nothing.
01:32We've been shut out.
01:34I don't believe it.
01:35Well, what do I have here?
01:39There are more awards, maybe.
01:42Maybe.
01:44I guess you'll just have to listen and find out.
01:47Since 1962, the Seattle Broadcasting Community...
01:50Give me that.
01:54Oh, my God.
01:54Frazier, you're getting the Lifetime Achievement Award.
02:00Are you serious?
02:01Yes, it says right here, since 1962...
02:04Give me that.
02:07Hurts, doesn't it?
02:13When I was a boy, my parents told me to reach for the stars.
02:20Sadly, I later learned that stars are just massive, fiery balls of gas.
02:31Which, were I to reach one, would vaporize me instantly.
02:38But tonight, with the Stephen R. Schaefer Lifetime Achievement Award, you tell me
02:45that I have reached you.
02:49And you, ladies and gentlemen, are my stars.
02:57And that's where you would applaud.
03:07I gotta say, Frazier, it's really something, you're getting this award.
03:19Yes, Ted, it's actually quite an honor.
03:21You know, customarily, they give them out to much older people.
03:26Oh, Niles Flowers, how very thoughtful of you.
03:30They're not from me.
03:31Well, uh, well, thank you for bringing them up.
03:33Well, actually, they were just outside the door.
03:35Well, thank you for bending over to pick them up.
03:37Well, it wasn't that far.
03:38The handle's this way.
03:39Just give them to me.
03:47Congratulations, Frazier.
03:50You must be very proud.
03:53William Tewksbury.
03:55Who's that?
03:56He's my old mentor from Harvard, Dad.
03:58You know, gosh, you know, I'd read in the alumni newsletter that he was taking his
04:03sabbatical here at the University of Washington.
04:05I've been meaning to call him.
04:06Niles, something here for you.
04:10For me? What for?
04:11Well, this may be Frazier's night, but I just want you to know that I have two special sons.
04:19Ted, how considerate.
04:22World's greatest psychiatrist.
04:27See, your brother's not the only one getting a prize tonight.
04:30Thanks, Dad.
04:31Oh, there's my little rosebud.
04:37Is it my imagination, or has she gained weight since breakfast?
04:42Which seating? Eight, nine, or ten?
04:46Darlene, you're undone.
04:47I know.
04:47This dress used to fit perfectly.
04:49Now I can't even get it zipped halfway up.
04:52Those bloody cleaners must have shrunk it.
04:55Let me give it a try.
05:02Oh, my.
05:05Maybe if I put a jacket on.
05:07Will you come and help me pick one out?
05:08Sure, sure.
05:09You know, you should switch dry cleaners.
05:11That's the third dress they've shrunk this week.
05:17Dad, what do you make of this?
05:19Congratulations, Frazier.
05:21You must be very proud.
05:23Well, I'd say he's happy for you.
05:27Of course, I was a detective, so it comes easy to me.
05:32He doesn't say he's proud of me.
05:36He says that I should be proud of myself.
05:39Doesn't that seem a bit odd to you?
05:41No, you're splitting hairs.
05:43You don't know Dr. Tewkesbury like I do.
05:46He wouldn't say something like this unless he meant to say something else.
05:51You're gonna let this ruin the whole night for you, aren't you?
05:54No, no, of course not, Dad.
05:55I just think it's interesting, that's all.
05:59You know what, Dad?
06:00I'm gonna head over to the CB's a little early.
06:02I'll see you there.
06:03Why?
06:04Well, I thought I should familiarize myself with the dais.
06:08Frazier is just a note.
06:10I know, Dad.
06:11It doesn't mean anything.
06:13I know, Dad.
06:14Say hi to Dr. Tewkesbury for me.
06:16I will, Dad.
06:22Dr. Tewkesbury.
06:25Frazier Crane.
06:27Of course.
06:28Frazier.
06:30Oh, it's good to see you.
06:32Likewise.
06:35How long has it been?
06:36Oh, gosh.
06:38Perhaps 20 years.
06:40That long?
06:43Actually, I was on my way to the award ceremony and I thought I'd drop by and
06:47thank you for the flowers and the card.
06:51You're welcome.
06:51This was very thoughtful of you.
06:53I was happy to do it.
06:54Particularly the card.
06:55I'm glad you liked it.
06:56All right, let's cut the ball.
06:58You must be very proud.
07:03Why not?
07:04I'm proud of you.
07:06Why speculation rather than declaration?
07:12We both know there are no mistakes.
07:13There must have been some reason, either conscious or subconscious, that you chose these words.
07:20Frazier, I have a confession to make.
07:23Ah.
07:24My assistant wrote the card.
07:26Oh.
07:27Hey, you see, when I heard you were getting an award, I asked her to send flowers with a note
07:32of congratulations.
07:34I'm afraid you've been overanalyzing.
07:38I see.
07:41Then again, perhaps in that order to your assistant, you subconsciously communicated
07:48an emotion that you couldn't or didn't want to acknowledge.
07:52Or perhaps your subconscious assigned you meaning to the words to reflect your own self-doubt.
07:59But all art is self-portraiture, and that includes the written word.
08:04However, we can only view art through the lens of our own psyches.
08:08Then there is no pure art.
08:10How would you know?
08:13God, I've missed you.
08:15Oh.
08:20Of course I'm proud of you.
08:22Oh, thank you.
08:23That's so nice to know that.
08:25It really is.
08:26Oh, I really wish we had more time to talk, but I'm taking my wife out to dinner tonight.
08:31I'm going to pick up some flowers for the shop's clothes.
08:34Yes, yes, of course.
08:35This time, I think I'll write the card myself.
08:40That's a good idea.
08:42Gosh, it was great to see you again.
08:47Yes.
08:49Let's get together some evening.
08:50Oh, I'd like that.
08:51It's not often I get to dine with the recipient of a lifetime achievement award.
08:57Please, it's just a trick for a little radio show I do.
09:01Oh, not that by a little I mean to minimize my achievement.
09:05I know.
09:05I know you know.
09:06I just want to be clear.
09:08So that you don't infer any meanings that aren't actually there.
09:12What might I infer?
09:13Oh, you know, that I'm somehow dissatisfied with my work or something like that.
09:18You also call the award a trinket.
09:20Can you imagine what I might have done with that?
09:23That's exactly.
09:25Unless the therapist might say that I didn't think much of an award that they're willing
09:30to give to the likes of me.
09:32Hmm.
09:32I suppose if one were looking hard enough,
09:35one could even say your coming down here was a desperate quest for approval.
09:41Well, that one's a little out there.
09:46Frazier, you don't have to worry.
09:48I'm not inferring anything.
09:52Enjoy yourself this evening.
09:56I will.
09:57Because tonight is my night.
10:01Yes.
10:03So long, Professor.
10:04Goodbye.
10:11Frazier.
10:21Frazier.
10:23Frazier.
10:26What the hell is wrong with me?
10:35Yes, dear, I know we have reservations,
10:38but one of my former students is having a minor crisis.
10:42I'll be there in half an hour.
10:44What does it all mean?
10:50Make it an hour.
10:52Hello, everybody.
10:59Oh, hey, Roz.
11:01You look great, Roz.
11:03Yeah, that's a beautiful dress.
11:06And after two weeks of eating delicious, fat-burning cabbage soup, it finally fits.
11:13Naz made me cabbage with me on Sabuco last night.
11:16If I knew it burned fat, I would have had it forth helping.
11:19Well, we do have leftovers.
11:22No, we don't.
11:26I haven't seen Daphne in a while.
11:27Is it my imagination?
11:29No, six squares a day.
11:33That's not like her.
11:34Maybe she's depressed.
11:36That's when I eat.
11:37You said anything to her?
11:38No.
11:39Timing is very delicate in something like this, Roz.
11:42I thought I'd wait until after she gets too big to catch me,
11:45but before she needs the motorized scooter.
11:49Hey, has anyone seen Frasier?
11:55No, not yet.
11:56What's the matter?
11:57You look pale.
11:58I hate public speaking, and they roped me into giving Frasier's introduction.
12:02I just want to make sure it's okay.
12:04Well, why don't you run it by Niles?
12:05He's a psychiatrist, too, and he's just as smart and successful as Frasier.
12:12Yeah, it's true.
12:13You are.
12:15He is.
12:19Hey, Gil, so where is that elusive wife of yours?
12:23If you must know, Deb's on maneuvers with her reserve unit.
12:30Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this year's Seattle Broadcasting Awards.
12:38Let's get right to our first category, Outstanding Restaurant Critic.
12:44And the nominees are Meryl George for Cafe Chat,
12:49Sheldon Hastings for Here's Looking at Food,
12:54and Gil Chesterton for Restaurant Beat.
13:02And we have a tie.
13:05They expect me to share?
13:06What is this, dim sum?
13:08And the CBs go to Meryl George and Sheldon Hastings.
13:19No, this can't be happening.
13:22Well, come on, Gil.
13:23Isn't it enough just to be nominated?
13:25You tell me, Miss Three-Time Loser.
13:34All my listeners.
13:37I know I should be happy, but I feel so dissatisfied.
13:42Well, Frasier, it's no accident that you're going through this
13:47on the day that you receive your Lifetime Achievement Award.
13:53Well, duh.
13:54I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
13:56I'm just acting up.
13:57Please, please.
13:59Continue, please.
14:00Please.
14:04As you know, men in our society commonly define themselves by their careers.
14:12Yes, I'll cop to that.
14:14In fact, there's nothing I'm more proud of than my career.
14:17It's because I love to help people.
14:20I always have.
14:21All right, refresh my memory.
14:22Wasn't it your mother who first sparked your interest in psychiatry?
14:28Yes, it was.
14:29I remember the exact day.
14:33I was eight.
14:36And I'd come home crying because one of the older boys had thrown
14:39my copy of The Fountainhead under a bus.
14:43My mother explained to me it wasn't because he didn't like the way I walked
14:49or because I wore an ascot to school.
14:53Because he didn't like himself.
14:56And at that very moment, I became a student of human behavior.
15:03It was as if someone had given me an instruction manual explaining why
15:08people acted the way they did.
15:10Not to mention a way to distance yourself from painful emotions.
15:16Oh, totally.
15:18I took a lot of grief for that ascot.
15:20So, you were drawn to psychiatry not because you like to help people,
15:26but because you feared them.
15:30I feared them.
15:32Psychiatry gives you objectivity.
15:35Objectivity gives you emotional distance.
15:39Distance makes you feel safe.
15:41Yes, yes, granted.
15:42But what has that got to do with me?
15:44How's your practice?
15:46I don't have a practice.
15:48I don't have a practice.
15:50I have a radio show.
15:51Distance.
15:53Any children?
15:55Yes, I have a wonderful son with whom I'm very close.
15:58You live with him?
15:59He lives in Boston.
16:03Distance.
16:04With your wife?
16:05My ex-wife.
16:07Yes, I know.
16:08Distance.
16:09Wasn't she a psychiatrist?
16:11Yes, she was.
16:11She happened to be a damn good one, too.
16:13That's a handy choice for someone who'd rather share ideas than emotions.
16:19Have you ever met Lilith?
16:23No.
16:25Well, she happens to be a very warm and loving woman.
16:33Have you had any other meaningful relationships since then?
16:37As a matter of fact, I...
16:39What is your point?
16:40My point is that at the age of eight, at eight, you began to use psychiatry
16:51as a way to deal with a world that scared you to death.
16:54And this Lifetime Achievement Award has made you realize that your career is finite.
17:01And once it's gone, all you'll have left is that frightened eight-year-old boy.
17:11Oh.
17:18You'd like to hear my theory?
17:22You have no idea what you're talking about.
17:25I am not an eight-year-old.
17:29And you know something else?
17:31You're not my mentor anymore.
17:33Rose, you're gonna eat your quiche.
17:41Are you kidding?
17:42This would be like pulling the rib cord on my thighs.
17:45It's nothing but cheese and butter and pastry.
17:49I'm bacon.
17:50Are you sure you don't mind?
17:55I have good news.
17:56I just spoke to Frasier.
17:57He's on his way.
17:58Oh, thank goodness.
18:00Oh, not that I'm not having a good time with you, Niles.
18:05Dad, I know what you're doing.
18:07You don't have to overcompensate.
18:09I'm not some green-eyed monster burning with envy for Frasier.
18:13All right.
18:15But if you were, I bet you'd be a great one.
18:21Daphne, I haven't seen you in a while.
18:24How have you been?
18:25Are you okay?
18:26I'm better than okay.
18:30I'm in love with a man who loves me.
18:33He showers me with attention.
18:35Every morning I wake up wondering what treasures this day will bring.
18:40It really is the happiest time of my life.
18:45And how are you?
18:48Good.
18:51Really good.
18:52Dad, could you pass me Frasier's quiche?
19:05And the butter.
19:13All right, Professor.
19:14You know, I hate to be the one to break it to you,
19:16but I'm afraid you've lost your touch.
19:18Where's your DSM?
19:20Here.
19:23Emotionally stunted eight-year-old, my eye.
19:28Ah, here's what I'm going through.
19:31Phase of life issue.
19:33A problem associated with a particular developmental phase or other life circumstance.
19:40Lee's a midlife crisis.
19:43It's obvious, really.
19:44You know, I'm surprised it didn't occur to me sooner.
19:46If someone had called my show of this problem, I'd have diagnosed it inside a minute.
19:50And then what would you have done?
19:51That depends on the caller.
19:53All right.
19:56The caller is you.
20:08Fine.
20:10On line one, we have Frasier Crane from Seattle.
20:22Hello, Dr. Crane.
20:26I love you, Sean.
20:27I'm a big fan.
20:35I won't bore you with all the details of my life because you know them.
20:42Suffice to say, I'm a successful psychiatrist.
20:48My problem is that in spite of the life I've built, I feel empty.
21:03Ah, emptiness.
21:06Eternal void.
21:08If I'm not mistaken, it was John Keats who once wrote...
21:16Stalling, deal with the feelings.
21:22All right, fair enough.
21:29All right, fair enough. Perhaps, Caller, if we reframe the issue, we can...
21:36Redefining the problem. Deal with the feelings.
21:40Let's run down the Beck Depression inventory.
21:46Rediagnosing. You know what the problem is. The Caller feels empty. Go on.
21:51Okay. Last month in the New England Journal...
21:55He's already read it.
21:57How do you know?
21:58The Caller is Frasier Crane. If you did, he did.
22:04I can suggest certain visualization techniques...
22:07He knows them already.
22:09Look, if he knows all this, then why is he calling?
22:11He told you. Because he's empty. Keep going.
22:19Sometimes it helps to write yourself a letter.
22:22He's already got himself on the phone.
22:25But I don't know what he wants!
22:28Then why do you keep trying to bury him in psychiatric exercises?
22:33Because that's all I have!
22:47I'm sorry, Caller. I can't help you.
22:56Frasier's up next. He's not here yet. What the hell am I going to do?
23:00He'll be here in a minute. Just go up there and stall.
23:03Stall?
23:06Stall?
23:08Just like that.
23:10Ladies and gentlemen, our next presenter...
23:13KACL General Manager, Kenny Daly.
23:21I think I'm going to be sick.
23:24All right, Kenny. Relax. I'll go up there for you.
23:26No, no. Just let me do it.
23:29This night's been hard enough on you already.
23:35You are such a weenie.
23:38Yeah. Weenie like a fox.
23:45Actually, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Martin Crane.
23:49Kenny very kindly let me do the honors, you see.
23:52I'm Frasier's dad.
23:55Oh, no, no. More than that, I'm the father of two special guys.
24:03So if it's okay with you, I'd like you to give a big, seedy welcome to my other son, Niles.
24:10Come on, Niles. Stand up. Let him see you.
24:14Oh, it's Frasier!
24:22Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the winner of the Stephen R. Schaefer Lifetime Achievement Award,
24:29my son, Frasier Crane.
24:49Thank you for honoring my life.
24:56Just wish I knew what to do with the rest of it.
25:02What the hell was that?
25:33I got you pegged.
25:36But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.
25:43They're calling again.
25:46Good night!