• 2 months ago
#Hoshyarian #HaroonRafiq #SaleemAlbela #GogaPasroori #AghaMajid #ArzuuFatima #ComedyShow #Funny #Entertainment

Saleem Albela ka Murga Beemar, Azeem Vicky Bachayega Jan
Transcript
00:00Assalam-o-Alaikum, ladies and gentlemen, I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching Hoshiyari.
00:21Friends, this morning when I saw this news and I saw how our politicians are fighting each other,
00:31shooting arrows and swords, I realized that when two husbands and wives are fighting each other,
00:39both of them think that they are victims, but that little child who is standing in a corner,
00:44when he sees both the parents fighting in a loud voice, he thinks that they don't realize that he is the victim.
00:51Whenever you fight with your relatives, with your friends, with your loved ones,
00:56remember that there is always a third victim and today I felt that maybe my country is a victim at this time.
01:04We don't argue, we don't talk, we just fight.
01:09I remembered that there was a lot of liveliness in this house, but this house was not like that.
01:19There were complaints, but it was not like that.
01:23Where there were some sweet talks, there were some bitter talks.
01:27But the effects of those bitter talks were not like that.
01:31There were flowers, buds, buds, buds on these branches.
01:35This weather was not like that, the trees were not like that.
01:39Come, let's start today's show with this message.
01:43Let's take you to the railway station today and see what is happening there.
01:47What happened to you? Why are you so upset?
01:49I am very worried, sir.
01:51What happened?
01:53I am going to private school, sir.
01:55The canteen has been built inside.
01:57They have installed the best AC.
01:59You must be selling trains.
02:01Then where will our poor man go?
02:03My dear, we are still far away.
02:05That's why we say that you should travel the world, see the trains.
02:09Then you will be surprised that you are so behind that in 1891, where the owners of the world were standing,
02:17in trains and railways, we are standing there.
02:19But the railway has made one progress.
02:21What?
02:22They have given doctors at every station.
02:24Where did this doctor come to this village?
02:26Mr. Chaudhary here does not let anyone go out or come inside.
02:30How did you become a doctor?
02:32Sir, I am saying the same thing.
02:34Actually, I am leaving the village.
02:36First tell me how did you become a doctor?
02:38How did you become a doctor while living in this village?
02:40Neither can anyone go out from here nor can anyone come inside.
02:42Sir, unfortunately, my appointment was here.
02:44Now that I have come here, they are not letting me go.
02:46Okay, why are you going?
02:48Your appointment is here, so why are you going?
02:50Sir, when I came here to this village, I was MBBS.
02:52Okay.
02:53They have made me MBL.
02:55Majja Bakrelele.
02:59You have been treating animals here?
03:01Sir, I have come here to treat them.
03:03Don't people who are sick come to you?
03:05Sir, they don't come to me.
03:06Then where do they go?
03:07There is an old jungle doctor.
03:09Jungle doctor of animals.
03:10Yes, veterinary.
03:11He is sitting here.
03:12He says, we don't like him.
03:14Okay, he takes animal medicines from you.
03:16Yes.
03:17And you are a doctor for humans.
03:19Yes.
03:20And he takes his own medicines.
03:21He is a veterinary doctor.
03:22Yes.
03:23So why doesn't he take from you?
03:24He is an old man.
03:26It is very strange that he gets cured by his medicines.
03:29I don't believe it.
03:30Sir, you will have to believe it.
03:31Why?
03:32Sir, once I also had fever.
03:33I took medicines from Ahmed.
03:34He is cured today.
03:37Okay, do animals get cured by your medicines?
03:39Yes, they get cured.
03:40Case closed.
03:41Go.
03:43Okay, will Chaudhary let you go from here?
03:45He doesn't let things that have come, go out.
03:47Sir, don't talk like this.
03:48He doesn't accept it.
03:49He doesn't say.
03:50By the way, I have found out.
03:51Is Asim sleeping?
03:52Okay.
03:53This is Chaudhary's son.
03:54One thousand, one hundred and seventy-five.
03:55How much is it?
03:56Seventy-five!
03:57Rs.100.
03:58This is Chaudhary's elder son.
03:59He doesn't even let it be heard.
04:01Along with Rs.100.
04:03Seven more.
04:04Seven five, twelve.
04:05One hundred and twelve.
04:07See.
04:08Hello.
04:09It is cleaned.
04:10Two, three.
04:11He doesn't let it be heard.
04:12Thousand.
04:13Poor boy.
04:14Okay.
04:15He is disrespecting the world at this time.
04:16Uncle, I have to tell you.
04:17What happened?
04:18This is the destination of Chaudhary's son in the contest of donors.
04:20The son of a man is going to bat a two-era.
04:22The son of a man...
04:24Balls meaning chicken.
04:26Want to go against that?
04:27The son of a man is going to bat a two-era.
04:29Your son's son is going to...
04:31Trying to rival with a four-year for one era.
04:33You're saying Chaudhary's son...
04:34The son of a man...
04:35Yes...
04:36...is going to bat a two-era.
04:37I have heard that.
04:39Uncle, where is Bakshu?
04:40The machoficer's son is going to bat with ogres.
04:44Who told you that you only need ten instructors to get into the fight?
04:47But I don't understand, when are you going to tell her that I won't be there?
04:53Oh, now I understand. Mr. Chaudhary has said that he is going to go.
04:57Yes, yes, yes, yes. He is going to wear a red pyjama as well.
05:01Mr. Chaudhary is saying that he has to go.
05:06Sister, he is sitting far away from you. He is not listening to us.
05:10Brother, uncle is...
05:12Doctor, do you have the power of prayers or do you have your own?
05:16He is my own.
05:19Uncle, give me a minute.
05:22Yes, tell me.
05:23Mr. Chaudhary, is everything fine?
05:25Can you hear me?
05:26Yes.
05:27Can you hear me?
05:28Yes, I can hear you.
05:29Keep this on.
05:30Yes.
05:31Brother, he has said that he is going to go and not take a bath.
05:34He must have said that.
05:39He must have said that he is going.
05:41I didn't tell you to take a bath.
05:43You are sitting there.
05:46No, I have understood that he is going.
05:49Munshi, his son is going to get married.
05:53His son is going to get married?
05:55He must have said that he is going.
05:58Yes, he must have said that he is going.
06:02I told you that you don't understand that he is going.
06:05See, he is saying the opposite.
06:07Mr. Haroon, if we read the lips, there is a big difference between the words.
06:13I don't look at Chaudhary's face.
06:17I don't look at his lips.
06:20I don't understand that how do you keep so many accounts?
06:24You don't know anything.
06:25Uncle, the thing is that the accounts should have mountains in them.
06:30Yes.
06:31How many mountains do you remember?
06:322, 3, 4, 5, 12, 13, 17.
06:35I don't remember anything.
06:361.25, 1.5, 2, 2, 2.25.
06:40If you know so much about mountains,
06:42tell me what will be the answer if we multiply 1.25 by 7.5?
06:45Can I tell you something?
06:46Yes.
06:47You are a woman.
06:48Yes.
06:49I won't give you an answer.
06:50If he asks me, I will break his face.
06:54What will be the answer if we multiply 1.25 by 7.5?
06:57You are our anchor.
06:58I respect you.
07:00If he asks me, I will break his face.
07:04I will tell you.
07:059.375.
07:07This is my answer.
07:08This is my answer.
07:15Hey.
07:16Give me your hand.
07:17What is happening?
07:19He was his guard, Mr. Arun.
07:21Give me your hand.
07:24Greetings, Mr. Chauri.
07:25Greetings.
07:26Why is he so handsome?
07:28Do you know that I have a tiger with me?
07:30It protects me.
07:31It doesn't harm anyone.
07:33This tiger is so cute.
07:35It is called a rooster.
07:36No, Mr. Chauri.
07:39What he is holding is a rooster.
07:42Yes.
07:43I am going for a competition.
07:44Please pray for me.
07:45What is the competition?
07:46It is a rooster competition.
07:47Okay.
07:48The rooster that makes the loudest sound will win.
07:52Okay.
07:53There are such competitions.
07:54Yes.
07:55There are roosters with loud voices.
07:57There are such roosters that you can't imagine.
07:59Their voices are so loud.
08:01If the rooster is making the loudest sound,
08:05you can't hear each other during its roar.
08:08Its vocals are so loud.
08:10The sound of a jet engine is 140 decibels.
08:14You are talking too fast.
08:15It's time to sit.
08:18The sound of a jet engine is 140 decibels.
08:21A rooster's voice is 143.6 decibels.
08:26Oh, my God!
08:28More than a jet engine.
08:29That's nothing.
08:30My tiger makes the whole village wake up in the morning.
08:33Really?
08:34Yes.
08:35Tell me something.
08:36If the rooster wins, will you give me a cup of tea?
08:39Of course, I will give you a cup of tea.
08:41Oh, my God!
08:42Why would I give you a cup of tea?
08:45Are you out of your mind?
08:47Pray for the rooster, Munshi.
08:49The weather has changed.
08:50Why would I pray for the rooster?
08:53Oh, my God!
08:54It's in his ears.
08:55Oh, my God!
08:56It's not in his ears.
08:57Put it there.
08:58It's not in his ears.
08:59It's in his ears.
09:00It's not in his ears.
09:01I eat four almonds a day.
09:02Yes.
09:03Four pears.
09:04Yes.
09:05Carrot jam.
09:06He feeds you.
09:07What does he feed you?
09:08Desi churis.
09:09But he's asleep.
09:11Who wakes up after eating so much food?
09:14I eat cooked food every day.
09:16You mean, cooked food.
09:17No, no.
09:18Not like this.
09:19A rooster.
09:20A moustache.
09:21Clothes.
09:22The better you treat the rooster
09:23the better you treat the villagers,
09:24I will pray for you.
09:25After me, the head of the village will be in trouble.
09:28He will be in trouble.
09:31Mr. Chaudhary,
09:32on Tiger's wings,
09:33you will get what I want.
09:36Don't do this.
09:37We don't know about the past.
09:38We don't know about the past.
09:39Why?
09:40All the roosters have flown away
09:41because of Tiger's wings.
09:43You haven't heard my Tiger's praises.
09:45Let's hear it.
09:46Let's hear it.
09:47Let's hear it right now.
09:48Let's hear it.
09:49Tiger,
09:50make some tea for Mr. Singh.
09:51Tiger,
09:52praise him.
09:53He's sleeping.
09:54Make tea for Tejpati.
09:57Make tea for me.
09:58Tea.
09:59Okay.
10:00Tiger is sleeping.
10:05Mr. Chaudhary,
10:06I think the rooster is unwell.
10:08Oh.
10:09The sound you are making
10:11is a problem.
10:13Doctor.
10:14Yes.
10:15Come here.
10:16Yes, sir.
10:17Sir, what is it?
10:18What are you doing at the station?
10:19Is the engine not working?
10:20No, sir.
10:21The rat on the railway is unwell.
10:23Look at my rooster.
10:24What has happened?
10:27One minute.
10:28Listen to this.
10:30Why wasn't he talking to him?
10:32He was holding it wrong.
10:33Oh.
10:34Look at this.
10:35This is how you press it.
10:36Yes.
10:37This is how you press the green button.
10:38Yes.
10:39Look at this.
10:40This is how you steal.
10:41Don't do it.
10:44This is how you steal.
10:50This is how you steal.
10:5124 hours.
10:53Is the doctor getting it?
10:54Yes.
10:55No, it's half done.
10:56No.
10:58This is how you steal.
11:00Yes.
11:01Think about it and tell me.
11:04Fix this rooster.
11:05Otherwise, I'll break your ears.
11:07He is right.
11:08I'll take him to the bank.
11:09I'll tell you.
11:10Okay.
11:11Fix him.
11:12I'll do it.
11:13Where are you taking him?
11:14Sir, to the operation theatre.
11:15Yes.
11:16Yes.
11:17Sir.
11:18I want to see an operation.
11:22Come, doctor.
11:23Come.
11:24What are you doing?
11:25Sir, I think he has a sore throat.
11:26He needs an operation.
11:28I'll make him fight.
11:29Why?
11:30Is he going for an operation?
11:31Sir, the thing is
11:32if the operation is successful
11:33I can assure you
11:34he won't go to a higher bank.
11:36Confirmed.
11:37What if the operation fails?
11:39You'll never hear
11:40what I have to say.
11:42But, Chaudhary
11:43if something happens to him
11:44during the operation
11:45he'll die.
11:46No.
11:47He'll die.
11:48No.
11:49He died when I gave birth to him.
11:50He died?
11:51Yes.
11:52He's still young.
11:53Chaudhary's love
11:54is killing him.
11:57Sir,
11:59pray that
12:00he recovers soon.
12:02What will you feed him?
12:03The same thing.
12:05Knife.
12:06Give me the knife.
12:07Hurry up.
12:08The same thing.
12:09I don't have time.
12:10I think
12:11the tiger has gone to the doctor.
12:12I asked for a knife
12:13not a knife.
12:14Tithi.
12:15Yes, Chaudhary.
12:16Go to the train
12:18and push him.
12:19The train won't leave
12:20until I recover.
12:23Yes, Chaudhary.
12:24I'll go.
12:25Cotton.
12:26Cotton.
12:27Cotton.
12:28Hurry up.
12:30Hurry up.
12:33Stay here.
12:34Give him the stretcher.
12:38Pray that
12:39he recovers soon.
12:41What's this?
12:42Sir, I didn't bring it.
12:43It's someone else's bag.
12:45Put your hand down.
12:46Put your hand down.
12:48Chaudhary, put your hand down.
12:49Chaudhary, Tithi
12:50has taken us to the desert.
12:57Surgical tray.
12:59Hurry up.
13:01Surgical tray.
13:02Good luck.
13:04What do you have?
13:05Be careful.
13:06You have
13:07an anesthesiologist inside you.
13:11These things can cut
13:12even a dog.
13:15Injection.
13:16Hurry up.
13:18Injection.
13:19What?
13:20Very good.
13:23When I told you
13:24that my head is aching
13:25and you are going around the village
13:26you didn't let me find the medicine.
13:31You have put everything
13:32in the cart.
13:33What's this?
13:34I have to walk
13:35with Chaudhary.
13:36I have to arrange
13:37everything in the cart.
13:38Bagga's dog.
13:39Will win.
13:40Bagga's dog.
13:41Will win.
13:42Speak louder.
13:43Will win.
13:44Speak louder.
13:45Will win.
13:46Will win.
13:47Bagga's dog.
13:48Will win.
13:50Tithi.
13:51Yes, Chaudhary.
13:52I saw you in the train.
13:53Where are you going?
13:54Chaudhary, I am going.
13:55See
13:56who is
13:57shouting.
13:58Chaudhary.
13:59Yes.
14:00Chaudhary Bagga
14:01from Anal's village.
14:02Yes.
14:03His dog is also fighting
14:04in the competition.
14:05His dog too.
14:06Doctor.
14:07Yes, sir.
14:08Do you need anything else?
14:09Give me the bandage.
14:10Chaudhary,
14:11so many people are going
14:12with him to the competition.
14:13He is going alone.
14:14I didn't think
14:15that there is no one
14:16to shout.
14:17Makhe.
14:18Yes, sir.
14:19Gather the entire village.
14:20As you say.
14:22Doctor.
14:23Yes.
14:24Is there a shortage
14:25of blood in the cooker?
14:26There is no shortage
14:27of blood.
14:28How is that?
14:29A lot is coming out of it.
14:31My tiger's blood.
14:32Sorry.
14:33I was very smart.
14:34I called you
14:35from the village.
14:36Come.
14:37Come.
14:38Hello, Chaudhary.
14:39Hello, Chaudhary.
14:40Hello, Chaudhary.
14:41Hello, Chaudhary.
14:42Sit.
14:43Sit wherever you want.
14:44Sit.
14:45Sit.
14:46Sit.
14:47Take all the things.
14:48There is a competition
14:49in the cooker.
14:50Why don't you have
14:51the things?
14:52Sir, I am a thief.
14:53So, I will take
14:54one of these.
14:57Hey, don't you dare.
14:58There are the slogans
14:59of Baghe's cooker.
15:00Yes.
15:01So, you will have
15:02the slogans
15:03of Chaudhary's cooker.
15:04We will get it.
15:05We will get it.
15:06Tiger is here.
15:07Tiger is here.
15:08How is the condition?
15:09Don't you feel
15:10comfortable
15:11in the train?
15:12Don't eat inside.
15:13My cooker
15:14is being operated.
15:15Listen.
15:16I am very happy today.
15:17I am so happy
15:18that for the first time
15:19in my life
15:20we are going out
15:21of this village.
15:22And I thought
15:23that we are not coming
15:24back here.
15:25These poor people
15:26have left from here.
15:27These villagers
15:28are craving for my face.
15:29Listen to me.
15:30Yes.
15:31Did you hear what he said?
15:32He said that
15:33no one will go back to the village
15:34and we will also not come.
15:35No, no.
15:36Why won't we come?
15:37My wealth
15:38and everything is here.
15:39What wealth?
15:40Have you forgotten?
15:41This is my shop.
15:42Here,
15:43that shop.
15:44You have put
15:45the tree on the mirror.
15:46And I have kept the chair
15:47under it.
15:48You have kept
15:49a big log under it.
15:53He is talking about the chair.
15:54No, he is not.
15:55I am a landlord
15:56who has put
15:57the tree on the mirror.
16:00What are you doing
16:01with this old man?
16:02Sir, tell him
16:03that I am a thief.
16:05He is such a person.
16:06No, sir.
16:07You are a family thief.
16:08My father used to be
16:09with Chaudhary's father.
16:10He got
16:11Chaudhary's aunt
16:12married.
16:17Come here.
16:18Yes, sir.
16:22Can you do me a favour?
16:23Yes, sir.
16:24Take the train
16:26and go to Bhagge's shop.
16:28Go straight to his house.
16:29Tell Chitrani
16:30to make
16:31black pepper curry.
16:33No, no.
16:34Don't make it for the cook.
16:38Chaudhary's father,
16:39listen to me.
16:40Yes, sir.
16:41Go to the train.
16:42Yes, sir.
16:43Go there and steal the black pepper.
16:44And tell the cook
16:45to make Chitrani's curry.
16:47Keep the flatbreads thin.
16:48She is hurt.
16:49Give her an atom bomb.
16:52Get lost.
16:53Okay, sir.
16:54I am going.
16:55Listen to me.
16:56Don't make the cook's voice.
16:58He has taken the line.
16:59Hey.
17:00Titi.
17:01Get me a cup of hot tea.
17:02Do you want to drink from the cooker?
17:04The water in the cooker
17:05is not getting absorbed.
17:06Hey.
17:07Hey, villagers.
17:08Pray.
17:09My cooker is getting operated.
17:10I have only one cooker.
17:11Then think about one thing.
17:12What?
17:13Did you hear
17:14the sound of their cooker?
17:15Where is it going?
17:16Yes.
17:17It must be at this time
17:18that our cooker
17:19got absorbed.
17:20Yes, I thought about it.
17:21The sound must reach
17:22their ears.
17:23Yes.
17:24Chitrani.
17:25Chitrani.
17:26Village.
17:27Car.
17:28Car.
17:29Do any of you hear
17:30the sound of the cooker?
17:31Mr. Chaudhary.
17:32He hears only one sound.
17:33Which one?
17:34The sound of the dog.
17:37Why are you saying this?
17:38My mother-in-law
17:39tells me not to say such things.
17:42Mr. Rahim.
17:43Yes.
17:44If you make the sound
17:45of the cooker..
17:47You know what?
17:48If the operation is successful
17:49then he will also be satisfied.
17:52Even if I make the sound
17:53of the cooker
17:54the villagers will laugh at me.
17:56Mr. Chaudhary,
17:57it's a matter of honour.
17:58Okay.
17:59You don't have to do anything.
18:00Mr. Chaudhary.
18:01You make the sound of the cooker.
18:03No one will laugh at you.
18:07No, no.
18:08Mr. Chaudhary, it's a matter of apparel.
18:10The cooker says
18:11that my father has come.
18:15Mr. Chaudhary.
18:16What are you talking
18:17inside the cooker?
18:18What's so difficult about it?
18:19You just have to say
18:20the sound of the cooker.
18:23No, the villagers
18:24say it in the city.
18:26Mr. Chaudhary,
18:27if you make the sound of the cooker
18:28then I will try again.
18:30Mr. Chaudhary,
18:31the sound should be a little louder.
18:34Mr. Chaudhary.
18:35Yes.
18:36You don't eat snacks in the morning.
18:40Mr. Chaudhary.
18:41Yes, Chora.
18:43I make the sound of the cooker.
18:44Okay.
18:45I also steal black pepper from the shop
18:46and make the sound of the cooker.
18:47I also steal butter from the shop
18:48and make the sound of the cooker.
18:49Yes, yes.
18:50Mr. Chaudhary,
18:51I make the sound of the cooker.
18:52Come on, celebrate.
18:53Celebrate.
18:54The sound of the cooker.
18:55Yes, Mr. Chaudhary.
18:56The sound of the cooker.
18:57Yes, Mr. Chaudhary.
18:58Quiet, quiet.
18:59One minute.
19:00Yes, doctor.
19:01Mr. Chaudhary,
19:02I have to say this
19:03with great regret
19:05that I couldn't save your tiger.
19:06Oh.
19:07Oh.
19:08What are you saying, doctor?
19:09What are you saying?
19:10I am telling the truth.
19:12I wish you had brought me
19:13two years back.
19:15Then I would have been saved.
19:16Then I would have brought
19:17your mother two years back.
19:19How did he die?
19:21Sir, I have never seen
19:22such a brave cook in my life.
19:24Yes, yes.
19:25What happened?
19:26Believe me.
19:27I straightened the knife.
19:28He came forward
19:29and strangled me
19:30with the knife.
19:36Ladies and gentlemen,
19:37there is a small break.
19:38We will meet after the break.
19:39One hand on the knee.
19:41One on the waist.
19:43And catwalk.
19:46Oh.
19:48Oh.
19:49Oh.
19:50Oh.
19:51Oh.
19:52Oh.

Recommended