• 2 months ago
The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.

"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.

The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.

Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.

"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.

For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.

Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.

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00:0030 seconds. Remember have a good laugh now. P573 stroke 1, nearest and dearest, part 1,
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05:21Oh, I'm not staying here to be insulted.
05:24Oh, you're just like all the others.
05:26Well, that's more than I can say for you.
05:29Left your engine running.
05:33That's it, then, isn't it?
05:38How do you do? Working?
05:40Good evening, sir.
05:42Best time I've ever seen a windscreen steam up in an open car.
05:47That's all right, constable, just having a bit of fun.
05:50Yes, I can tell.
05:51I mean, you're only young once, aren't you?
05:55Well, I was just going. Good night.
06:00Are you the owner of this vehicle, sir?
06:02That's right.
06:03The Mr Ely plate?
06:04Yes.
06:05Good, I've got news for you. I've been looking for you.
06:07Oh, have you? Is it about the road tax?
06:09Road tax?
06:10Well, I noticed a couple of months out of date.
06:13I have applied, but it must have got lost in the post.
06:17I'll make a note of that.
06:18Yes.
06:19Driving an untaxed vehicle.
06:21These things do happen, don't they, Inspector?
06:23Well, I'll be off.
06:28Perhaps I'd better have a look at your licence, sir.
06:31Licence?
06:32You have got a licence, sir.
06:33Well, it's not what you call current.
06:36You've been this out of date?
06:38Yes, I have applied.
06:41It must have got lost in the post.
06:44I see.
06:45Driving an untaxed, unlicensed vehicle.
06:48Not your lucky day, is it, sir?
06:50You can say that again.
06:51Two eight bob seats for the sound of music
06:53and a couple of prawn curries up the spout there.
06:56Well, I'll be off.
06:59Just for the record, sir, you are insured.
07:02Insured?
07:03Insured.
07:05Well, I have applied, but it...
07:06Must have got lost in the post.
07:09Driving an untaxed, unlicensed vehicle.
07:14Are you sticking, or are there any other offences?
07:17Well, I've got my pencil out.
07:19No, Commissioner.
07:20Well, I appreciate your volunteering this information,
07:23but I only wanted to give you a message.
07:25You have to return home immediately, as your father's not very well.
07:27Is he not?
07:28Oh, I'd best be off, then.
07:32This will make you laugh, sir.
07:34In this part of the country, it is an offence
07:36to drive an untaxed, unlicensed, uninsured car.
07:48Ah!
07:54Ah!
07:56Oh, you got back, then.
08:01Yes.
08:02Hey.
08:03I'm, er...
08:04You haven't gone, I'm not too late, am I?
08:06No.
08:07No thanks to you, though.
08:09Oh, you got the black coat on for me, eh, Sin?
08:11He's upstairs, if you want to catch him.
08:13Ah.
08:14Hey, 15 years.
08:16Been a long time, hasn't it, Nellie?
08:18Not long enough for me.
08:21So, it's come back, has it?
08:24The drain brain.
08:27Butcher, carry on.
08:28What a lovely homecoming.
08:29What did you expect?
08:30Black Dyke Mills band?
08:32You're supposed to welcome the prodigal son home
08:34with a fatted calf.
08:35Well, I'm very sorry.
08:36We're right out of fatted calf.
08:38You'll have to manage with a bit of pig's cheek.
08:42Well, I'll say this for you, Nellie.
08:44You've not changed.
08:45No, haven't I?
08:46No, just as ugly as the day I left.
08:49I'm to say, you've changed.
08:51Have I?
08:52Yeah, who lifted it for you, McAlpine?
08:57Well, what's gone on?
09:00Did you get married or anything?
09:01Oh, I didn't get married, I, er...
09:04I don't know about the anything.
09:06Cheeky.
09:07Why don't we find a good woman and settle down?
09:09Oh, there's time.
09:11Time?
09:12Who for?
09:13Me.
09:14What are you going to tell her when you do get wed?
09:17All those women.
09:18She'll want to know where you've been, you know.
09:20I mean, before you met.
09:21I'd want to know where my fella had been before I met.
09:24God knows where you've been.
09:26I'm your sister and even I don't know where you've been.
09:29And stop shenanigans.
09:32What about you?
09:33What about me?
09:34Did you never get wed?
09:36No, I didn't want.
09:38Well, I wanted, but...
09:41Hey, how about that horse knackerer that was hanging about?
09:46Horse knackerer?
09:48That man was a veterinary surgeon.
09:53Taught me a thing or two.
09:54Did he?
09:55Yeah, that man had healing hands.
09:57I've seen a cat stretched out there as though dead.
10:02And that man has picked it up, that cat, with his hands
10:05and pressed it to his warm bosom.
10:07That cat has put his little paw up to his cheek.
10:10Has cracked his eyes out.
10:13I'll scratch your eyes out for you in a minute.
10:15Hey, how about the other fella, the lay preacher that was sniffing around?
10:18Sniffing around?
10:20Sniffing around?
10:21He fancied you.
10:22You, what's your tongue?
10:24That man went as a missionary to Nigeria.
10:28Aye, you must have put the bloody wind up his...
10:31Bloody wind up his...
10:35I'll choose to inhale that remark.
10:39Have you come to insult me or to see your father, which or both?
10:43I'm going up now.
10:44Good.
10:45Here, hang that up for me.
10:48And be careful with it, there's still three months to pay on it.
10:52DOORBELL RINGS
10:59Dad?
11:01Who is it?
11:02It's me.
11:03Who the hell's me?
11:05Don't you recognise me?
11:08Are you the new window cleaner?
11:11It's me, Eli.
11:13I was younger than thee.
11:16I was younger than me when I left.
11:19I tell you, it's Eli.
11:21How do I know it's Eli?
11:23You might have come to be secret amigurkins.
11:25You daft old bagwash.
11:27I don't want your flipping gherkins.
11:29Eli, you've come back.
11:32I hope you're not exciting him.
11:34Exciting him? If he goes on the way he has been doing, I'll be in there with him.
11:38Nelly, he's come back.
11:40How are you, Eli?
11:41I see what you've done. He's had a prolapse.
11:49You'd best have your pill.
11:51I don't want no bloody pill.
11:53You know what Dr Arkwright said, you've got to have it three times a day.
11:56Not wondering in bed.
12:00Swallow it.
12:01I can't, I'm too dry.
12:04Too dry? It says nothing on here about swallowing it down with half a pint of bitter.
12:08Come on, swallow it.
12:19That didn't hurt, did it?
12:23You aggravating flamer.
12:25Hey, let him suck it.
12:27Suck it? That pill is the product of studied by desiccated scientists who have took years and years to make it.
12:36Not a flaming mint imperial.
12:39He can swallow it.
12:41He can't.
12:42Why not?
12:43He hasn't got enough spit.
12:48I'll get him a drink of water then.
13:00All right then?
13:01Yeah.
13:02Right, I'll be off now, see you.
13:04Here, I want to talk to you both.
13:06Well, mate, if you haven't got time, you know, there's things to do, there's arrangements to be made, you know.
13:10What for?
13:11For after that, for after you've gone.
13:14Are you having dew at Spread Eagle?
13:18I thought we'd have it at the Brown Cow, it's more select.
13:22Hey, I don't like beer at Brown Cow.
13:25No, neither do I.
13:31You won't be having any, will you?
13:34Hey, I've just had a thought.
13:36Let's have dew before Eagle's and then he can be there as well.
13:39That wouldn't be right, would it?
13:41No, it wouldn't be right.
13:42I mean, how can we be sitting there, I mean, saying what a good send-off we're giving you,
13:46and you're sat sitting there supping brown beer?
13:50Well, if we had it at Co-op, we could get Divvy on it.
13:54Here, what have you done about me headstone?
13:57I've thought of some lovely words too.
13:59Tired he was, and did not know it.
14:02Suffering much, he did not show it.
14:06He saw all, and thought it best...
14:08To put him back in the old oak.
14:11To take him home, and give him rest.
14:15Who are you talking about?
14:17You, you daft piece.
14:19How about, from number seven he went to heaven?
14:23Here, can you get a mentioning about me medal?
14:26This is an headstone, not an autobiology.
14:31Summit of my career, that medal were.
14:34Brussels Grand Prix, 1899.
14:38Oh, he's off again.
14:39I've still got a bottle of gherkins up, won't it?
14:42I beat them all.
14:43Ah, well, come on.
14:44Oh, he like it.
14:46One of golden rules.
14:48Never let your collies crumble.
14:53I'll try not to.
14:55Purest pickles in England, then.
14:57Stand back to back.
14:59What?
15:00I want to see how much I realise grown.
15:03Well, don't be so mean, he has grown, hasn't he?
15:06You've been up there, and I've been down here,
15:08ever since we've been so high.
15:10Best humour him.
15:11Come on, he'll not be with us for long.
15:13Don't be daft, you'll seat lots of us out, he will.
15:16All right, Dad?
15:17Yes, I'm all right, Frank.
15:23I'm glad you were able to come, Frank.
15:26Frank? He has gone, hasn't he?
15:37APPLAUSE
15:56Come on, then, sit down.
16:03Er...
16:04He's gone now.
16:07I said he's gone now, Walter.
16:09Bye.
16:10Bye.
16:11Let's not be seeing him again.
16:13No.
16:15No.
16:17With me mother now.
16:18That'll teach him.
16:23Would you like a cup of tea?
16:24No, it's all right, we'd best be going.
16:26Walter's looking very tired.
16:28Hardly worthwhile him coming home from the cemetery, was he?
16:32You'll not forget about that overcoat, will you?
16:35No, would you like to take it now?
16:37Oh, no, it wouldn't be proper, would it?
16:39Not so soon after.
16:40I'll call for it tomorrow.
16:43Ta-ra.
16:44Ta-ra, Walter.
16:45Ta-ra.
16:46And there you go, don't do anything I wouldn't do.
16:49Just as if.
16:53Well, I hope you're satisfied.
16:55What do you mean?
16:56You know what I mean.
16:57I don't know.
16:58Well, if you don't know, I'm not telling you.
17:00Well, what the hell have I done now, then?
17:01What the hell have you done now?
17:02A fine sight you looked.
17:04There, at that cemetery.
17:05Stood standing there.
17:07With a camel hair coat on and brown shoes.
17:09Chief mourner.
17:10It's not what you wear, it's what you feel.
17:12Oh, it's a wonder you could feel anything.
17:14The state you were in.
17:15I were mourning my dad.
17:16It's traditional to have a few drinks at a funeral.
17:18Not before the burial.
17:22I'll never forget this day, as long as I live.
17:25Showing me up in front of the vicar.
17:28Look, as a mark of respect, all I did was to put an extra shovel full on.
17:34Well, there's no need to shout one for the pot.
17:38Oh, come on, Nelly.
17:41There's no need for you and me to go on like this, you know.
17:43There's only thee and me now.
17:45And what a word of that sad fact.
17:48Hey, you've still got this.
17:50Yeah.
17:51Yeah, me dad liked it.
17:52I said I'd chucked it out years ago.
17:54Hey, remember when I won it for you?
17:56At Blackpool Wakes, when we were kids.
17:59Yeah.
18:00You went to that stall where those ducks were, didn't you?
18:02That's right.
18:03You know, they had a...
18:05They put a ball in its mouth,
18:07and it went down there and come out there in a number.
18:11You'd just been on the Big Dipper and been sick.
18:15All over me new shoes.
18:19We had some happy times, though, didn't we?
18:22No.
18:24Why not?
18:25Well, I mean, every time I thought I was getting off with a fella,
18:27you'd come and stick your big nose in.
18:29It's been like that ever since.
18:31You've held me back, you know.
18:32How have I held you back?
18:34Well, I mean, you didn't stop with me to help me with him, did you?
18:37And as soon as you've got what you want, I suppose you'll be off.
18:40That's you.
18:41Self first, last, and all the way between.
18:44Aye, I'll just get what's coming for me, and I'll bush off.
18:47What about the factory, then?
18:49Oh, you can have that.
18:50I'm not standing there pickling all day.
18:54Stuffing onions in bottles.
18:56Well, I'm not running it, you know.
18:58I mean, I've lived with him and his pickles up there, you know.
19:00I mean, for all these years, it's about time I went off now.
19:04Well, shut yourself.
19:05Why do you think I left off?
19:07I couldn't stand the pong any longer.
19:10It does cling, doesn't it?
19:13Hey, it nearly ruined my manhood, you know.
19:15I smelt like a dirty great pickle-gherkin.
19:20No wonder I never got a bit of crumpet.
19:24Hey, you know what they used to call me at school?
19:27Pickle-Early Nelly.
19:32You were lucky.
19:33They used to sit me on my own by an open window.
19:38Hey, get up.
19:39What?
19:40That's my dad's chair.
19:41Well, he's not going to be using it much now, is he?
19:44He can hear you, you know.
19:45Can he?
19:47Hey, Dad, can I sit in your chair?
19:49Don't mock. Stop it off.
19:51Spirits can talk, you know.
19:53Oh, yes.
19:54Last year, I spoke to my mother.
19:56What's more, she spoke to me.
19:58Of course, we went to a séance, you see.
20:00It wasn't her voice.
20:02It came through a mediocre.
20:05And she said to me, she said,
20:07Nelly?
20:08Oh, there, Nelly.
20:11Yes, I said, Mother, I am here.
20:14She said, Nelly, how's your back?
20:18You'd believe her, wouldn't you?
20:21What, did she know about me back?
20:23You've been on about it for 20 years.
20:25Everybody in bloody Cornwall's invited you back.
20:28Come in.
20:29Good afternoon.
20:30How do? How much?
20:34Well, he ain't come here to deliver 600 weights of nutty slack now, has he?
20:38Well, if it's not convenient, I...
20:39Of course it's convenient.
20:41Come in here, Mr Featherbrain.
20:44Yes.
20:46Oh, not that chair there.
20:48That's my dad's chair.
20:50Well, we'll try and make it as informal as possible.
20:52Oh, no more about that. How much?
20:54Well, first, there are a few minor requests.
20:57Every employee is to receive ten pounds for every year of service.
21:00Ten pounds for every year of service?
21:02Come in.
21:05Well, he's cracked it for a start, hasn't he?
21:07Hello.
21:08How do?
21:09Albert.
21:10Hello, Miss Nelly.
21:11What do you mean, eh?
21:12Eh, what?
21:15Your dad's teeth.
21:20Yes, we've seen them, yeah.
21:22Close your mouth, then.
21:26Well, Mr Taylor, how long have you been with Pledger's Pickle?
21:2960 years, sir.
21:3060 years?
21:32That's 600 quid.
21:33That's right.
21:34Hey, hey, hang on.
21:35What year was the general strike?
21:371926.
21:38Well, we can knock ten quid off for that for a start.
21:40No, no, I want a black leg.
21:42Ah, you would be, you.
21:43Come in.
21:45You won't tease Arlene, no?
21:47Who the hell's he, the tea lad?
21:50He's one of the drivers.
21:52One of the... one of the...
21:55What do they call him?
21:56The lads call him Danger Man.
22:00Danger Man?
22:02How old are you?
22:03I'm 79.
22:05Are you one of the drivers with them glasses?
22:07Aye.
22:08How did you pass the test?
22:10What test?
22:12The driving test.
22:13You have to pass the driving test.
22:15What, for horse and cart?
22:18That's one on you.
22:20When did they bring that in, the bloody Labour government?
22:25Could we have the others in, please?
22:27Come in, lads and lasses.
22:34Lads and lasses.
22:36Lads and lasses.
22:39That were me dad.
22:41Never psyched anybody.
22:4865.
22:52That seems to be...
22:55How much does that leave us with?
22:57£9.76.
23:01£9.76.
23:03That's not the price of a new costume.
23:05Blame it on Marser.
23:07He had money, and I'm entitled to more than that.
23:09What do you mean you're entitled to more than that?
23:11You never saw him for 15 years.
23:12He wanted you to stay and look after this factory.
23:14Well, what did you do?
23:15Off you went.
23:16What have you put into this factory?
23:18You only get out what you put in.
23:19You've put nothing in, so you take nothing out.
23:21So that's you.
23:24Liquor.
23:28Well, the house is payable, of course.
23:30That's yours.
23:32He didn't finish paying the mortgage until two weeks before the council condemned it.
23:36And the factory has been left to you jointly.
23:38Jointly?
23:39I don't want a flipping factory that pongs halfway to Morecambe.
23:43There is also a trust fund, which will pay you both a lump sum of £20,000.
23:46Thank you, that...
23:48But the money is to be paid to you in five years' time.
23:51Providing that for that five years, you'll both keep the factory going at a nominal wage,
23:55and live together in this house.
23:57Live with her?
23:58Not me.
23:59And there's no ready money?
24:00So far as I can see, no.
24:01All that remains are these.
24:03And what are they?
24:04To my nearest and dearest.
24:05Oh, that's me.
24:06I think it refers to both of you.
24:08Oh, well, and what are they for?
24:10Well, they're keys to two deed boxes in the bottom wardrobe drawer in your late father's bedroom.
24:20Please accept my sincere condolences for your sad loss.
24:25Hey, you opened yours first, now, didn't you?
24:27No, you opened yours first.
24:28No.
24:29You said he'd provide.
24:30Aye, I knew he had some more money tucked away somewhere.
24:32Here, come on, open the box.
24:33Oh, end off, darling, now, now.
24:34Come, open the box.
24:36We'll open them together.
24:38Have you unlocked your box?
24:39Yes.
24:40Right, when I count one, two, three...
24:41Right, one, two, three.
24:44Oh, Lord, you haven't changed, have you, you lied pledge?
24:48Here, come on, we'll open each other's.
24:50Right, then.
24:51On the one, two, three.
24:52Right.
24:53One, two, three.
25:00Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
25:02See, that's me.
25:06He's like you meddling with his gherkins.
25:10Hold on, give that another try.
25:21Why?
25:22He's like you, the bloody gherkins.
25:29Come on!
25:59APPLAUSE
26:3030 seconds, studio.
26:34Remember, have a good laugh now.
26:37P573-1, nearest and dearest, part one, take one.
26:59SILENCE
27:30LAUGHTER
27:53How is he, then?
27:54Oh, he's going.
27:56I said, he's going, Walter.
27:59Oh, he says he's been going for 15 years.
28:02He should be there by now.
28:04Sit yourselves down, will you?
28:08Still, he's got a funny colour.
28:10Oh, he's all right, he always looks like that.
28:13I didn't mean him, I meant your father.
28:17Still, he's had a good life.
28:19Oh, he's 97, you know.
28:21And he's leaving his own monument.
28:23What's he made?
28:24Oh, he's made his mark.
28:25I mean, there isn't a household in Corn that hasn't got Pledger's Pickles in the pantry.
28:29Built that factory up from nothing.
28:31Won a gold medal for his gherkins.
28:35Of course, that was when he was a much younger man.
28:43Are you all right?
28:44Doesn't this always hurt, Prickle?
28:48Oh, I wondered.
28:51I'm glad you've gone.
28:53Well, I am your second cousin.
28:55It's his new overcoat, sport and thought.
28:58Lily, wait till he's gone.
29:01No, I was just thinking it might do for my Walter.

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