Nearest And Dearest. S02, E04. All You Wish Yourself.
The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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FunTranscript
00:00be five eight four stroke seven all you wish yourself part one
00:0715 seconds
00:30Oh
01:00Oh, Ernest! Oh, Ernest!
01:03Oh, Ernest!
01:07Oh, Ernest!
01:10My toe!
01:14Oh, that flaming hot water bottle.
01:18I keep saying I'll get a rubber one.
01:24Oh, God!
01:27Oh!
01:29Morning, Dad.
01:33No change.
01:35Our real life's just as mad as ever.
01:39It's a bit cold.
01:41The water's hot.
01:45Oh, that's nice and hot.
01:49Rise and shine, Adelaide.
01:51Where the hell is she?
01:53Cool, talk about what the butler saw.
01:55Nellie, out!
01:57Out, out, out!
01:59Nellie, it's only me.
02:01I don't care if it's the Prince of Wales.
02:03Out!
02:05Bursting into a lady's bedware
02:07when she's in her disability.
02:09Nellie, I've seen it all before.
02:11Out. Not mine, you haven't.
02:15Out. Out.
02:17Nellie, I'm your brother.
02:19We used to share a tin bath together in front at fire.
02:21Yes.
02:23Nellie, I'm not at the age of purity.
02:25Hey, you're not showing out, you know.
02:27This is a see-through nightie.
02:29If I stand in a bright light,
02:31you can see my, er, shape.
02:33See-through? It's bloody blackout material.
02:37Yeah, but I know you
02:39and your imagination.
02:41Oh, put some of it on,
02:43rackle Welsh.
02:45Anyway, what's the idea?
02:47Coming in at this time of the morning?
02:49Oh, are you coming in drunk
02:51from last night?
02:53Oh, that's marvellous, that is.
02:55I try and show you a bit of brotherly love,
02:57bring you a cup of tea in bed, and that's all thanks I get.
02:59What are you up to?
03:01You've never brought me a cup of tea in bed in your life.
03:03I'm not up to out.
03:05I just thought you'd like a cup of tea in bed.
03:07Are you sure you're quite well?
03:09Do you remember your cousin Edgar went like that,
03:11you know, before he was taken into that home for alcoholics?
03:15Nellie,
03:17after this, I'm bringing you your breakfast in bed.
03:19Honest? Honest.
03:21Get into bed and get this down you.
03:23It's different.
03:25And when you've had that, I've made you some kippers.
03:27You like them, don't you? Kippers, kippers? Aye.
03:29Oh, they were my dad's favourite
03:31for Sunday morning breakfast.
03:33I can see him now.
03:35He used to be leaning up against the pillows,
03:37slathering over every mouthful.
03:39Aye, and spitting bones out the window.
03:41Oh, then they'd send us both
03:43to Sunday school to Tin Mission,
03:45and me dad and me mum would stop in bed.
03:47And when we got back,
03:49there was our mum,
03:51lent back with happy, contented smile on her face.
03:53Cos he'd given her
03:55a bit of his kipper.
03:59Hey, breakfast in bed
04:01in five minutes, madam.
04:03Oh, Eli.
04:05Oh, Eli, that's it.
04:07You think it was me birthday.
04:09What am I saying?
04:11It is me birthday.
04:13Today.
04:15And our Eli's remembered.
04:19That should get her in a good mood
04:21for what I've got to tell her.
04:23We can only hope.
04:27Hello, Nellie.
04:29Nellie, it's me, you four-eyed old fool.
04:33Oh, I'm sorry, missus, I must have got wrong house.
04:35Come here, Stan.
04:37It's me, Eli.
04:39Oh, Eli.
04:41Where did you come from?
04:43Oh, never mind.
04:45Wipe the morning dew off your outer and tell me what you want.
04:49Some funny business in the stable.
04:51What do you expect when you've got a horse?
04:53Well, I don't want to
04:55put my foot in it.
04:57I think you'd better come and go into it yourself.
04:59Go into it?
05:01I'm never bloody well out of it.
05:07I love you.
05:09Oh, you're pretty.
05:11Oh, Walter, come on, out of it
05:13or I'll chitty-chitty-bang-bang your heads together.
05:15Oh, don't get to get, young Eli.
05:17We're only having a bit of fun, weren't we?
05:19Oh, you're pretty.
05:21Chitty-chitty-bang-bang.
05:23Chitty-chitty-bang-bang.
05:25Hey, hey, hey, come on, out of it, Dick Van Dyke.
05:27Come on.
05:29And mind your dirty great clubs on my paperwork.
05:33Oh, I don't know.
05:35What a crumpet catcher this is going to be.
05:37Hey, we didn't know
05:39who it belonged to.
05:41You and Nellie said that you were going to buy
05:43a new cart for the horse.
05:45Well, never mind what we're going to buy.
05:47Get cover on this before our Nellie sees it.
05:49Hey, does she not know about it?
05:51Hey, Sam, you mention a word to our Nellie
05:53and I'll cut off your free pickle.
05:57945.
05:59946.
06:01947.
06:03All to hell with it.
06:07Get her up!
06:11Come on everybody.
06:15If you'll cover not different.
06:19Oh,
06:21I feel just like Jackery & Nowasis.
06:25In bed
06:27at quarter to.
06:29Oh, I must get a little hand put
06:31on this alarm thing.
06:33Here you are now, Nellie.
06:35Here you are now, Nanny.
06:36Open your eyes, chuck your gob and see what Eli's brought you.
06:39Oh, that's lovely.
06:42Hey, there's something funny about that kipper.
06:45It's a manx kipper.
06:46Oh, that's why it's got no tail.
06:51Well, you've laid it out nice, I must say.
06:53Nice, isn't it?
06:53Yes. What's this, then?
06:55Parsley.
06:56Parsley?
06:57Oh, cooks always sprinkle parsley on food to give it a finishing touch like.
07:01Yes, love, but not on the marmalade.
07:04Oh.
07:05And what's this?
07:06It's a napkin to wipe your mouth when you've done.
07:09It's toilet paper.
07:13Oh, well, we'd run out of napkins.
07:15It's pink, isn't it?
07:16Go on, eat your kipper.
07:18Oh, you're not a bad old sausage.
07:21Oh, manx kippers, it takes you back, doesn't it?
07:23Aye.
07:24Oh, I'm sorry, love.
07:26I'm sorry I ate you and made your nose bleed that time.
07:29You know, when you crossed me pet rabbit with that stoat.
07:35They had funny children, didn't they?
07:39Hey, Nellie, I've got a confession to make.
07:41Oh?
07:42It were me at one time on the Lachroid that used to write on playground walls,
07:46smelly Nellie.
07:49Happy days.
07:50Foggy deets.
07:52Oh, I can't get over you remembering about today.
07:56Well, I mean, how could I forget?
07:59What?
08:00About what it is today, you know.
08:03It's Tuesday.
08:05No, I mean, what's special about today, you know?
08:08Happy anniversary to someone.
08:13Twelve months to the day we buried me dad.
08:17Did we, I was like.
08:18No.
08:19Well, it's not Empire Day cos Stan and I decorated the horse, has he?
08:22I thought as much. You forgot.
08:24You don't remember, do you?
08:25Forgot what?
08:26It's me stinking rotten birthday, that's what.
08:28What have you got to say to that?
08:31Many happy returns.
08:36Here, look, look, look, look. Eat your kipper, eat your kipper.
08:39Take your bloody kipper and give it to Kat.
08:42She's already bloody well had it.
08:50Happy birthday to you.
08:51Happy birthday to you.
08:53Happy birthday, Nellie.
08:54Happy birthday to you.
08:56Bloody hell, the singing nun.
08:59Come in, Lily.
09:01We've got a present for you.
09:03You can bring it in now, Walter.
09:07Don't move.
09:08The singing nun meets Ian Paisley.
09:12Hello, Walter.
09:14You haven't sprained yourself, have you, carrying this big box?
09:19No, because, I mean, it's easily done, isn't it, you know?
09:21He seems much better than he were.
09:24Well, he couldn't have been much worse, could he?
09:29He seems to be sitting better.
09:34And he's more comfortable now when he's sat sitting than he were.
09:39You know what did it, don't you?
09:40What?
09:40Playing bingo the other night.
09:42He jumped up the shout house and went over six rows of seats like bloody Hartle.
09:48It was Snowball.
09:50Oh, I can't wait to see this.
09:52Oh, oh, Lily.
09:56You shouldn't.
09:59Oh, Lily, you shouldn't.
10:00You really shouldn't.
10:02Well, we've got one for every room in house now.
10:05I thought you'd like it.
10:07Oh, I do.
10:08I like it very much, considering it's the one I sent you and Walter last Christmas.
10:14Lily, shh.
10:16Oh, I don't need a detective, you know.
10:18You could tell him anywhere.
10:19He's lost one of his cherries.
10:23Oh, I remember this.
10:25My dad won this on Bury Market 1938 on the shooting range.
10:28He missed target, hit boy and knocked his cherry off.
10:33There's a lot of letters here for you, Miss Nelly.
10:36Oh, yes.
10:37Anybody think it were your birthday?
10:39It is me birthday.
10:40Oh.
10:43Well, what do you want?
10:46Paper hat or a bit of birthday cake?
10:49Oh, no.
10:50Oh, well.
10:56I can't get the horse in stable.
10:59Well, have you tried cutting his toenails?
11:02No, it's because it...
11:05Rrrr!
11:06Rrrr!
11:07Rrrr!
11:08Rrrr!
11:09What the hell's up with him?
11:10Oh, he's a bit chesty this morning.
11:12I'll slap a mustard plaster on him.
11:14Right on his mush.
11:15Come on, Harry.
11:16He wants summat plastering on him.
11:20You'd better be going.
11:21I know.
11:22Me and Walter's going out tonight.
11:24Having us dinners.
11:25Oh.
11:26I never go anywhere much, me.
11:29No, it were Walter's idea.
11:31He surprised me in bed this morning.
11:36Did he?
11:37Mm.
11:38Oh.
11:39Nobody ever takes me out.
11:41Where are you thinking of going?
11:43We're going to that place we went to when that time miscompensation came through.
11:48Oh, you mean that one in Gas Street?
11:50Mm.
11:51And it's called the Starlight Roof now.
11:53Oh.
11:54Used to be called the Labour Club.
11:57Hey, Nelly.
11:58I can't keep me secret to meself any longer.
12:00I'm taking you out tonight for the big birthday bash.
12:03Oh.
12:04Oh, yeah?
12:06Straight through to the concert room in the Spread Eagle.
12:09Then over to the Chippy.
12:10Fetch your own basin.
12:12You can have that.
12:13No, no.
12:14It's, er...
12:15It's some little place that I found.
12:17Wait a minute.
12:18Starlight Roof?
12:19Oh, Gas Street.
12:20Do you know it?
12:21Well, as a matter of fact, me and Walter's going there tonight.
12:25Oh, yeah?
12:26Blushing out a bit, aren't you?
12:28I thought he was saving up for a transplant.
12:32Do you really mean it about tonight?
12:34Oh, Nelly.
12:35You don't think I'd forget your birthday, do you?
12:37Yes.
12:38Well, I didn't, did I?
12:39No.
12:40Oh, I should have got that, er, dress that was in Cassel's window.
12:43Oh, it was lovely.
12:45It was sort of all satin and it went straight down
12:47and then it fluted itself out at the bottom.
12:50And where there should have been a zipper, there wasn't.
12:52It sort of met itself coming over.
12:55And the neck was like a gravy boat
12:58with two epileptics on each side.
13:03Dotted with sequins.
13:05And I thought to myself, that's for me, but it wasn't.
13:08Why not?
13:09It was sold.
13:11Hey, I can see you and me
13:13living it up tonight at Starlet Roof.
13:15Oh, yeah.
13:16I'm butchering on me top hat.
13:18Dancing in me white tie.
13:20Manuring me nails.
13:22Oh!
13:43Hey.
13:45Are you sure this is the same place you came to before?
13:48Well, it is a bit funny.
13:50Things have changed a bit.
13:52How do you mean, love?
13:53Well, them waitresses used to be fellas.
13:56We're not fellas now, are we, Walter?
13:59Walter, I'm talking to you.
14:01Hey, Earth to Apollo 8.
14:05What?
14:06What?
14:07What?
14:08What?
14:09What?
14:10What?
14:11What?
14:13My, a lily's sucked some stuff tonight.
14:16Where's he putting it?
14:17He hasn't been once, has he?
14:19I don't think Moss Brothers are going to take them trousers back now, you know.
14:38WHISTLE
14:39Right.
14:43WHISTLE
14:59What were you meemawing at me for?
15:02You know...
15:04I don't know.
15:06I'm asking you to have a dance with me.
15:08Oh, you're not bad with it coming forward, are you?
15:11Well, come on, then.
15:13Oh, I don't know.
15:14I'm not very good at it.
15:17You're not getting me at that, are you, Rose?
15:20Looks like a fly stuck to a gum sheet.
15:25Hey, look at that fella chatting Owen Elliot.
15:28I think she's clicked.
15:30They make a nice couple, don't they?
15:32Long and hardy.
15:34Wouldn't it be wonderful if she could find somebody
15:37the way I found Walter?
15:40Ah, well, if he does propose to her,
15:42we know what to buy him for a wedding present.
15:44What?
15:45A bloody blotting tattle.
15:48Well, do you feel up to a bit of cha-cha?
15:51I don't know. I've never tasted it.
15:53No!
15:55I mean the dance.
15:57Oh, well, I'm a fool.
16:02Isn't our Nelly moving well?
16:04Moving well?
16:06She looks as though she's had a plate of scampi and a dose of fruit salt.
16:10Oh!
16:15Hey, it's like you're back quick.
16:17What happened?
16:18What happened?
16:19I feel as if me stomach's been knocked into the middle of next week.
16:24Yes, I'll have a couple of those with chocolate sauce on them.
16:30Oh, no, you can't.
16:36What's that?
16:37It's the cabaret.
16:38You get your money's worth here, don't you?
16:40Aye.
16:48Hey, look who it is. I know her.
16:50Who?
16:51Well, you know Bertha Garthside,
16:53who does some part-time money appealing?
16:55Aye.
16:56It's her daughter.
16:57She'll be visiting next week to us.
16:59Oh, aye. What number?
17:03Mabel!
17:04Yoo-hoo!
17:05I think she's noticed us.
17:07She's having a bit of trouble with her prop.
17:10Hey, I didn't know she were a dancer.
17:12Last time I knew her, she were on the buses.
17:14She can punch my dick in any time she likes.
17:18What a lovely dancer, though.
17:20Oh, yes, I didn't think she had it in her.
17:24Oh, look, she's lost her feather bit.
17:27I wonder if she knows.
17:29Oh, she's taken her skirt off now.
17:31She knows, all right.
17:33She's taken it all over. She's taken it all over.
17:37Oh, she's taken it off. What's she doing?
17:39I can see it all now.
17:41Where, where? I can't.
17:43She's one of those cheeky pieces.
17:45That's what she is.
17:46It's your fault, bringing me to this den of inquiety.
17:49Get away.
17:50There's no call to be ashamed of your body nowadays, is there, Lily?
17:53Oh, there are limits, I suppose.
17:55Don't you talk dirty to me like that.
17:57I see your game.
17:58Get him here, get him excited,
18:00get home, lay on your ottoman,
18:01and crack on your playmate at mum.
18:04I'm not having that.
18:05I didn't know it was going to be like this.
18:07Last time we came here, it was Josie's lot.
18:11Walter!
18:15See what she did then?
18:16What?
18:17Oh, her mother doesn't know about this.
18:19It'll put her in hospital when I tell her.
18:21Of course her mother knows.
18:23Her mother's getting desk chair at money.
18:25I saw her fiddling in a fur coat the other day.
18:27Ah.
18:28Oh, there you are.
18:30Your father in a desk job,
18:32and your mother taking him washing
18:34to go to grammar school.
18:36Stop looking at her like that.
18:38You'll go blind.
18:39I'm not, what's that bloody matter?
18:42No use wriggling your bottom at me.
18:45I'll smack it for you in a minute.
18:48Get out.
18:50I've pulled one of her tassels off.
18:52I won't.
18:53Get out.
18:57What's she doing now?
18:59Scratching her back.
19:02She's not...
19:03What, tears?
19:04Hey!
19:05She's taking her things off.
19:07Oh, no!
19:13She took standing there,
19:15exhibiting your body,
19:17which should be sacred to your husband,
19:19and should never be seen with the light on.
19:24Is she with you?
19:25Isn't she that belly dancer,
19:27Nellie Leroux and her pork and snitch?
19:29No, no, she's with me.
19:31She's with me, she's with me.
19:41Here they are now.
19:42Hide the present and get down here.
19:44And when I whistle, jump out and surprise her
19:47and sing happy birthday.
19:55Right, that's it then, innit?
19:56Last birthday treat you ever got off me.
19:58Birthday treat?
20:00Birthday treat!
20:01Handcuffed to a fruit machine.
20:04It's much they didn't hand-draw and quarter you,
20:06especially when you covered that stripper's lots it up
20:08with your soup plate.
20:09You should have your head looked through by a psychiatrist.
20:13Well, I'm not going to see a psychiatrist, so there.
20:16I'm off.
20:17So, happy anniversary to you and...
20:19short out.
20:21It's men like you that encourage women like her
20:23to make men like you look at women like her
20:25instead of looking at women like me.
20:27That's why I'm not married.
20:30Oh...
20:34Strip tease.
20:36They say you're getting paid for taking your clothes off.
20:41I take mine off every night.
20:45I've got nothing for her.
20:46What would that thing she did?
20:48Oh, dear.
20:59Oh, dear.
21:04Eat all, sup all and pain out.
21:08Well, well, what's to do, what's to do?
21:11You didn't have to give me a nasty turn.
21:14You gave us a bit of a turn yourself.
21:16Did I?
21:18It must have been funny.
21:19Well, on behalf of the night shift, Miss Nellie,
21:23happy birthday to you.
21:25Oh, don't bother now, Grenville.
21:28I think Mormon's gone.
21:29Anyway, Miss Nellie, we brought you a bit of a present.
21:32Oh.
21:36Do you like it, Miss Nellie?
21:38Oh, yes.
21:40Well, at least he's got all his cherries.
21:42Has Mr. Eli brought me his present?
21:44What present?
21:45It's in the stable.
21:47Don't tell me he's brought me a bloody horse.
21:54Right, then, that's it, innit?
21:56If our Nellie don't like it, she can lump it.
21:58Clear the M1.
21:59Breakfast in London, tea in Monte Carlo,
22:01and...
22:02..to our Nellie.
22:06Oh.
22:07Oh.
22:09Oh, it's lovely.
22:10Oh, it's excruciating.
22:14Nellie, look, I can explain it all.
22:16Oh, last time you bought me a present,
22:18you were only five years old.
22:19You remember?
22:20That stink bomb?
22:21Oh, I realise.
22:23Eli, I haven't treated you.
22:25I've depreciated you too much, you know.
22:28I really, I've not been good, like I should have been.
22:31I'm sorry.
22:32But, you know, I love you, Eli.
22:34Do you?
22:35Yes, I love you almost as much as that rabbit you bought me.
22:39Yes, I love you almost as much as that rabbit
22:41you crossed with that stork.
22:46What's, er, what's the matter with you?
22:48Oh, nothing the matter, love.
22:50Get in.
22:51Oh, get in.
22:52Oh, I have to pinch myself to feel when it's true.
22:55Oh.
22:56Hey, where are we going to put that new cart?
22:59New cart?
23:00Yes, you know, the new cart I gave you the money to buy.
23:03Cart?
23:04Cart.
23:05Ah-ha!
23:06I thought you said go out and buy a new car.
23:08You pronounce your teeth funny, you know.
23:10Pronounce my teeth funny?
23:12All I've had for my birthday this year
23:14is a car I bought for meself,
23:16a woman with no clothes on,
23:19two boys with their cherries missing
23:23and a kipper the cat's on.
23:25Happy birthday to you.
23:27Happy birthday to you.
23:28Happy birthday, Aunt Ellie.
23:30Happy birthday to you.