Nearest And Dearest. S04, E04. When Love Walks In.
The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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FunTranscript
00:00Thirty seconds, studio.
00:07Twenty-five, nearest and dearest, P584, stroke programme number 22, part one, take one.
00:13Edit and copy.
01:00Well, that's it, Eli. I buy Pledger's lock, stock and pickle barrel and flatten it.
01:06Aye. Then you'll put up one of those big blocks of shops and offices that nobody wants.
01:12Leonard, you're a visionary.
01:14Well, that seems to copper bottom it.
01:16Er, not quite.
01:17Oh, how do you mean?
01:19You'll have to copper our Nellie's bottom first.
01:22Your Nellie? Who the hell's she?
01:24She's me sister. She owns half of Pledger's pickles, you know.
01:27You'll have to get her signature on that as well.
01:29Well, that's no problem, is it?
01:31Aye, it is. She don't trust me.
01:33She's not daft.
01:34No, you'll have to do a big persuasion job on her. Use all your charm.
01:37Now, look, Eli, if you want that money, you must get her signature.
01:40I've no time or patience for mucking about with women.
01:43To tell you the truth, women don't seem to find me attractive.
01:48I'm not surprised.
01:49Well, I think our Nellie might find you attractive.
01:52Oh, you do, Eli.
01:53What is she like, your Nellie?
01:55Well, let me see. How can I put it?
01:58She's got all that rattlewell she's got.
02:01But it's put together a bit different.
02:04Oh, well, let me see.
02:07I think I could put 100 offices up on that site.
02:11£10 a week each office, plus ground rent.
02:14I suppose I might have a bash at her.
02:16There you are, Leonard.
02:18Who said you couldn't be romantic if you tried?
02:21Now, look, she's going to her wedding tomorrow.
02:24And that's the best time to meet her, because weddings get her going.
02:27Oh, no.
02:28I mean, if I play my cards right, you'd have our Nellie in the palm of your hand.
02:34And I've had your money in the palm of mine.
02:37Oh, I love weddings.
02:39It brings me all out in goose pimples inside.
02:43When we were in that church, it took me back to my happy day.
02:47What do you mean, when you walked down the aisle with Walter under your arm?
02:52I'm sorry I hit you with that confetti.
02:55Anyway, when the bride and groom went past, he was soon on his feet again.
03:01Oh, the bridegroom picked him up, you know.
03:03He's a fine strapping lad, weren't he?
03:05Yes.
03:06Oh, we were just saying, Stan, this must be a happy day for you, you know.
03:10Seeing your little granddaughter tying the knot in it.
03:13Aye.
03:17It's made me very happy.
03:19Her getting wed to the grandson of me old mate Grenville.
03:24Two nice and two great families.
03:27Yes, oh, she looked lovely.
03:29I say, she made a lovely bride.
03:33Two years in that pickle shed, she was taking a bit of chance.
03:36We're doing white, weren't you?
03:40Thought the same myself.
03:42Well, I'm not one for saying much, but when she said, I do,
03:45four fellas in front of me said, they're here.
03:48They're here.
03:51Good old Fenton.
03:52Now that.
03:54Me, Eli, is that your Nellie?
03:57No, not exactly.
03:59What do you mean, not exactly?
04:01Well, er, definitely.
04:03But does your Nellie look like her?
04:05No, not really. She looks more like that.
04:08And who the bloody hell's that?
04:11That's our Nellie.
04:12Oh?
04:13Aren't you going to go over and say hello?
04:14No, I think I'll say goodbye.
04:15No, don't go.
04:16Eli, what are you doing?
04:18Stood standing over here, inhaling us.
04:20No, no, I was just coming in there in a minute,
04:22but I wanted to meet a friend of mine, Leonard Longbottom,
04:24meet Nellie Shorthouse.
04:25I mean, I don't know.
04:27How do you do?
04:28How do you do?
04:29You haven't had the pleasure of me yet, have you?
04:32No, well, give him time.
04:34Why don't you come and bring him into the other room, you know,
04:37with us, and bring Mr Longjohn in there?
04:39Because, er, we're having a good time.
04:43Do you do a turn, Mr Rockbottom?
04:47Well, I've done a bit.
04:48Done a bit.
04:49Leonard, don't be so modest.
04:51Did the Maid of the Mountains at Accrington.
04:55Twice nightly, got a standing ovation.
04:58How very fertile of you.
05:02Well, why don't you come in the other room, eh?
05:06Tell me, do you know the Jewel Song from Soust?
05:10It goes, when you hear me call you.
05:20When you were sweet,
05:24when you were sweet,
05:29she's a cheat.
05:35Very good.
05:37You can't beat a bit of good singing, can you?
05:41What's up with you, Owen Elly?
05:43I'm just thinking about that bride, how lovely she looked,
05:45with that lovely satin dress on,
05:47with that embroidery hanging lazy down there, you know.
05:51And, you know, at her waist, where she had that bunch of enemas,
05:55and, er, little puff on each shoulder.
06:00Aye, and a big puff on her arm.
06:03Astorus, please.
06:05Oh, is it that time already? I think we'd best be going.
06:08Are you not going to have another one?
06:10Well, you'd best not, you know, because it's, er,
06:12it's a long journey, you know, on that bus. Have you been?
06:16Long journey on that bus in the cold, you know.
06:19I think he's been.
06:21Come on, Walter, love. Try on, Elly.
06:23Good night, then.
06:24Good night.
06:25Oh, I'd better get him in, then. What would you like?
06:27Er, well, no, thanks for me.
06:29I'd be up and down all night.
06:32I'll have another pint.
06:36Eyup, I want to tell you something about him.
06:38Yeah?
06:39I think you've tickled his fancy.
06:41Oh, how real. I... I never have.
06:45You got him going in the okey-cokey.
06:47What? You mean where you take your whole self in and shake it all about?
06:52Why do you think he was all up and bothered in the ladies' excuse me?
06:55I didn't dare to think.
06:56Eyup, he's here, he's here.
06:59Ah, well, good health.
07:01I'll just go over and see how Stan and Grenville are getting on.
07:03Yes, I'll come with you.
07:04No, no, don't bother.
07:05It's no bother.
07:06Sit down, you daft tater. I mean, I know it.
07:09You sit down, too, lad. Admit yourself at home, though. There's a chat.
07:19Grand weather for this time of the year.
07:22Yes.
07:23Bit changeable, though.
07:24Yes, for this time of the year.
07:27It's the wind that does it.
07:28Oh, it goes right through you, doesn't it? You know, you don't know what to leave after.
07:31No, you don't.
07:34I was saying before I set off, I was saying, I said,
07:37it'll either rain or go dark before morning.
07:42Myself, I always say, while there's snow by wall, more will fall.
07:48But there's no snow bit wall.
07:51Oh, but if there were...
07:53You'd say it then.
07:56I'm telling you, if that lad leaves his bushes,
08:01his one finger on that little girl,
08:05my little girl will probably stub me knee.
08:12Stan, Stan, are you all right?
08:14Will I open his collar?
08:16No, open his wallet. It's just had the bloody pain.
08:21I suppose it...
08:24No, you stay.
08:25No, ladies first, you say.
08:27Oh, I don't know what I was going to say.
08:29Neither do I.
08:30Oh, yes, I do, yes, I do.
08:31I was thinking about that bride and that groom, you know, and their lovely day.
08:37I suppose you've had your nuptials attended to a long time.
08:42Eh?
08:43Oh, you mean got wed?
08:45No, not me, never found time for courting.
08:48Oh, so there's no Mrs. Longbottom then?
08:51No little Longbottom in short pants?
08:55So you'll be one of what they call those illegitimate bachelors, eh?
09:03Some enchanted evening,
09:07you'll see a stranger
09:10across a crowded saloon.
09:14Morning, Dad.
09:16Swipe your nose for you.
09:19Oh, heck.
09:21That reminds me, I'll have to get a new fly spray.
09:26Oh, you got home, have you? You did your big blouse?
09:29What's the idea of leaving me to my own vices?
09:33It was a good thing that Leonard was there to deport me home.
09:36Ah, did you ask him in?
09:38Of course I asked him in.
09:39Couldn't leave him stood standing at the door cutter in the pouring rain,
09:43with two bundles of chips under his waistcoat.
09:46We were here till about three...
09:48Oh, I must get a little hand put on this one.
09:52And what did you two get up to then?
09:54Oh, this and that.
09:55What about the other?
09:59What are you trying to incinerate?
10:02Well, I mean, did he sort of raise anything?
10:09What do you mean?
10:10Well, did he show you anything that might affect your future?
10:16What are you trying to get at?
10:17What I'm trying to get at is, did he get at anything?
10:21He did not get at anything,
10:23and if he had tried to get at anything,
10:25he would have not got at anything he was trying to get at.
10:30Steve, MSI.
10:36I wonder if he suggested that she sign that contract.
10:39He must have done.
10:41He wouldn't have wasted all those chips.
10:43Oh, are you there, Miss Pledge?
10:45Oh, Leonard, lad, come in, come in.
10:47Have you got me money?
10:48What money?
10:49Money for this dump.
10:50I mean, this highly desirable commercial property.
10:52I mean, you were here long enough, weren't you, last night?
10:54Did you pull anything off?
10:55No, Eli, I want more than this building.
10:58I want your nelly thrown in.
11:00Thrown in what?
11:02No, I mean, you don't want to go as far as...
11:04Yes, Eli.
11:05Last evening, when I sat with your nelly here in this very room,
11:10I got a feeling I've never had before.
11:12Really?
11:13Yeah, it touched my soft spot, I can tell you.
11:17I've been meaning to get that spring fixed in that bloody city.
11:21Oh, no, no, no, have you no bloody heart?
11:24I want your nelly's hand in marriage.
11:26You don't have to go as far as that.
11:29Oh, yes, I do, Eli.
11:30It's serious.
11:32Oh, well, it's probably the best way to get a signature on that contract.
11:36And when all's said and done, if you get fed up with her,
11:38you can always take her to a wife-swapping club and trade her in.
11:42But what the hell you get in exchange, I don't know.
11:46Oh, Leonard.
11:47Fancy seeing you again so soon.
11:50How do, Miss Wedge? I was just passing.
11:52Oh, yes, I was just... Thank you.
11:54I was just passing.
11:55No, I was just dusting with my feather.
11:58I mean, feathering with my...
12:00It's no use you stood standing there, is it?
12:03Pardon me.
12:04Why, what have you done?
12:06Cheer up, you.
12:07Let's go over here, shall we?
12:09Into the other room.
12:10You know, it's just across the hall.
12:12And we can be more intimate there, you know?
12:15On our own, by ourselves, with nobody with us.
12:18And we can continue to commence to take off where we left off last night.
12:52No sugar for you, isn't it, Lily?
12:54Yes, well, that's how it is, so what do you think, eh?
12:57Well, if you've been knocking about with him for a few weeks,
13:00you ought to know if you're in love with him or not.
13:02Well, I think I am.
13:04Every time I see him, he gives me a feeling.
13:10I don't want you to think I'm nosy in too far,
13:13is it the first time you've ever had it?
13:18Oh, no, I've had it before.
13:22Who did you get it off?
13:24That Christopher Plummer in The Sound of Music.
13:29Well, Leonard doesn't favour him.
13:32Oh, I think he does.
13:35Oh, I mean, when he sings that song,
13:39Idle Swine.
13:44Are you quite sure he's not just knocking about with you?
13:47Oh, I don't think Leonard would trifle with my infections.
13:53I don't want to pry, love, but, you know, to put it in a nice way,
13:57has he ever done out?
14:01What do you mean?
14:03You know.
14:04I don't know.
14:07Well, if you don't know, I can't tell you.
14:10Oh...
14:14Well, he did hold me hand and breathe heavy in the audience.
14:20Mind you, those steps were a bit too much for me as well.
14:25So, we might be having another wedding in the family, might we?
14:28Well, who's to say? I mean, no use rushing into things, but...
14:33But what, Nellie, love?
14:34Oh, f*** you up and flame and ask me.
14:38Leonard, Leonard, when are you going to pop the question to our Nellie
14:41so I can live happily ever after?
14:42Well, the problem is, Eli, when I get her in the mood and look into her eyes,
14:46I get the jitters.
14:48I'm not surprised.
14:50When I look in her eyes, I get the shudders.
14:53You wouldn't like me to ask her for you, would you?
14:55Oh, would you?
14:56Well, no, come on now, I mean, it's easy.
14:59Now, I'll show you how.
15:01Ask me, go on.
15:03I don't want to marry you.
15:04No, no, no, I mean, pretend that I'm our Nellie and you, well, you're you.
15:09Now, she sat on the settee, titillating,
15:14and her hand starts to come across the settee towards you and takes yours.
15:19Now, what do you say?
15:22I don't know, Eli, but you are getting me bloody worried.
15:27Look, there's no woman safe from you. You sat on the settee with her.
15:30You've got all of her hand, you're gazing deep into her eyes.
15:35Oh, bloody hell.
15:36Now, what's the first thing you say to her?
15:40Grand weather for this time of the year.
15:43You're supposed to be proposing to her, Leonard.
15:45You sound like Eddie Waring doing a commentary on Leeds and bloody Castleton.
15:49Oh, I'm sorry, Eli, but it's always the same, I'm hopeless at it.
15:53I may as well give up.
15:54Oh, no, don't give up, no, there's something very exquisite at stake here.
15:57You are Nellie.
15:58No, my bloody money.
15:59Now, look, you're taking her out tonight, aren't you?
16:01Aye.
16:02Where are you taking her to?
16:03The very place.
16:04Good food, good wine, sweet music.
16:08And I think they've got topless waitresses.
16:11Oh, but it'll be no good, Eli.
16:13I'll only muck up what I have to say.
16:15Not if I'm there to help you.
16:17Why, you'll come out with Nellie and me.
16:19Oh, no, no, three's a crowd.
16:21And in fact, in our Nellie's case, one's a crowd.
16:24No, but there may be a way that I can help you to crack it.
16:27Now, it's a very expensive place, that.
16:29You'll stand me a good nosh, will you?
16:31Anything, Eli, anything.
16:32Don't worry, then.
16:33If you're willing to pay, love will find a way.
16:47Would sir care for petit pois?
16:49You are?
16:51It's the French for pea, sir.
16:53Oh, no, I had one before I got here.
16:57Would you like to leave your coat, Nellie, love?
16:59Oh, no, I don't want to leave me coat.
17:01Somebody might pinch it.
17:03There's me hat. Thank you.
17:07This is the table I wanted.
17:09You're lucky to get it, I can tell you.
17:11I had to turn away three Manchester United players.
17:14Oh, thank you, very glad.
17:16I'm glad you brought me here, Leonard.
17:18It's lovely.
17:19I'm glad you brought me here, Leonard.
17:21I'm glad you brought me here, Leonard.
17:23I'm glad you brought me here, Leonard.
17:25It's lovely.
17:26I think this place has got an effluvia all its own.
17:29Will madam sit there?
17:31Will she, hell...
17:32Oh, I'm so sorry, Nellie.
17:34But you'll be in a draft if you sit over there.
17:37There is no draft in here, sir.
17:39Yes, there is. It's coming from your gob.
17:43You'll be more comfy over there, Nellie.
17:45Thank you, Fanny Craddock.
17:47Oh!
17:52Oh, that's better.
17:57That's better as well.
18:00Oh, thank you.
18:02It's nice to have somebody else do the cooking, isn't it?
18:06Quite so, madam.
18:12Oh, what a big programme.
18:15I couldn't eat all this.
18:16Haven't you got something smaller?
18:18That's the a la carte, madam.
18:20We don't have no tablet out here.
18:22Oh, but you can't have everything, can you?
18:25For a kick-off, we'll have some champagne.
18:27Oh, yes.
18:28The best you've got, nice and cold.
18:30I'll put it in a bucket right away, sir.
18:32You what?
18:33I'm not drinking champagne out of a bucket.
18:36It's an ice bucket, madam.
18:38I don't care whether it's an ice bucket or not.
18:40I'd rather have it out of a glass, if you don't mind.
18:44Nellie, why don't you study what you're going to have?
18:47Well, I am studying, but it's all in French.
18:50It's in English underneath.
18:52Oh, I'm a fool.
18:55I didn't see the subtitles.
18:58Well, you know, it'd have to be in English for the cook to know what he was doing.
19:04Are you there, Eli?
19:06What's that, Leonard?
19:08Oh, nothing, Nellie, love.
19:14Well, I bloody never...
19:19Now, I'm here.
19:21Don't worry, don't rush things.
19:23Wait to ask her when you get to the pudding.
19:31Oh, if I'd have eaten any more,
19:34I'd have had to loosen me...shoelaces.
19:38If I'd have had any shoelaces on.
19:42We have our trifles yet, Nellie.
19:44Oh, yeah.
19:45Enjoying it?
19:46Yeah, so I love that flaming stuff.
19:48Yeah?
19:49You know, where he set fire to it, you know, that flamboyant.
19:52Oh, aye, flamby.
19:54Yeah, wasn't it good, you know,
19:57the way he brought his little frying pan
20:00and then his little stove
20:03and he cooked it right here on the edge of the table?
20:07Mind you, the price is the charge.
20:10You'd think they could afford a kitchen.
20:15Are you receiving me, Leonard? Over.
20:17Yes, Eli.
20:19Repeat everything I say.
20:21What the hell do you want now?
20:23What the hell do you want now?
20:27I'm so sorry, Nellie.
20:29Would you like a little more champagne?
20:34Would you do me a favour, sir?
20:36You see, there's this man who's being very persistent.
20:39Oh, aye?
20:40And you've got the only seat in the place that's not spoken for.
20:43Oh?
20:44Yes, that one there.
20:45Oh, hang about. Oh, bloody hell.
20:51Champagne goes all bubbly up your nose and into your head, doesn't it?
20:55Now I know why you men give us women champagne,
20:59to make us completely uninhabited.
21:05Speak up, will you?
21:07I said that's why you give us champagne.
21:10To get us going.
21:12What? No, you mustn't go yet.
21:14I've something to tell you, I think.
21:17Well, what is it, then?
21:19What's the matter with you, Leonard?
21:21Has the champagne took you over?
21:23What are you going like that for, you going all of a tremble?
21:27I'm all right, Nellie.
21:28Go on, then, say what you were going to say.
21:32What I was going to say, Nellie, was that...
21:34Yes?
21:37Grand weather for this time of the year.
22:01I've got something very important to say to you, darling.
22:05I've something very important to say to you, darling.
22:13Oh, Leonard, what next?
22:15I wish I bloody knew.
22:19I've thought of nobody else ever since I saw you.
22:22Ever since I saw you, I've thought of somebody else.
22:25Nobody else.
22:27Correction, nobody else.
22:29Oh, Leonard Longbottom,
22:33I'm overcome with emulsion.
22:36Where's my handbag?
22:38You are my destiny.
22:40Eh?
22:41You are my destiny.
22:46What's that?
22:47You are my bloody destiny.
22:49I'm your bloody what?
22:51Oh, to hell with this.
22:53No good beating about the bush.
22:56Nellie, I want you to marry me.
22:58Oh, I don't know what to say.
23:00Yes.
23:03I want to take you to our little love nest
23:06what I've built for us up in Moors.
23:09Oh, I don't like it up in Moors.
23:12Couldn't you come and live down at the pickle factory with me?
23:15Hey, see, the thing is, Nellie,
23:17I want to pull them down.
23:23What?
23:24When I make up me mind, I like to get on with it.
23:27I tell you, I want to pull them down.
23:31Don't be so cheeky, we're not wed yet.
23:34Oh, no, I mean the pickle works.
23:36I want to pull them down and build a nice big building
23:38with shops and offices.
23:39What do you say to that?
23:40Not flaming likely.
23:43Why the hell not?
23:45Eli, thanks.
23:46What the hell are you doing here?
23:47I'm playing Cupid, stupid.
23:49Go on, you'll never get a better offer.
23:50Marry him and let him pull that dump down we're living.
23:52Pull that place down where we have pickled
23:55since time immoral?
23:58Nellie, I'll call the new building Pickler's Plaza
24:01or even Picker Lily Precinct.
24:03I knew there was something wrong with this flaming courtship.
24:07Well, what do you expect, you daft old trout?
24:09Marry him and give him the works.
24:11Marry him? Never.
24:13I'll give him the works, all right.
24:15You trifle with my emotions.
24:18Now I'll trifle with yours.
24:21I'm yours.
24:27I'm yours.
24:57I'm yours.
25:27Thirty seconds, studio.
25:33Twenty-five, nearest and dearest,
25:35P584, stroke programme number 22,
25:37part one, take one.
25:39Edit and copy.
25:58THE END
26:01THE END
26:26Well, that's it, Eli.
26:28I buy Pledger's lock, stock and pickle barrel
26:31and flatten it. Aye.
26:33Then you put up one of those big blocks of shops and offices
26:36that nobody wants.
26:38Leonard, you're a visionary.
26:40Well, that seems to copper bottom it.
26:42Er, not quite.
26:44Oh, how do you mean?
26:46You'll have to copper our Nellie's bottom first.
26:48Your Nellie? Who the hell's she?
26:50She's me sister. Oh.
26:51She owns half of Pledger's pickles, you know.
26:53You'll have to get her signature on that as well.
26:55Well, that's no problem, is it?
26:57Aye, it is. She don't trust me.
26:59She's not daft.
27:00No, you'll have to do a big persuasion job on her.
27:02Use all your charm.
27:04Now, look, Eli, if you want that money, you must get her signature.
27:07I've no time or patience for mucking about with women.
27:10To tell you the truth,
27:12women don't seem to find me attractive.
27:14I'm not surprised.
27:16Well, I think our Nellie might find you attractive.
27:18Oh, you do, Eli.
27:20What is she like, your Nellie?
27:22Well, let me see. How can I put it?
27:24She's got all that rattlewell she's got,
27:27but it's put together a bit different.
27:29Oh.
27:31Well, let me see.
27:33I think I could put 100 offices up on that site,
27:36£10 a week each office,
27:38plus ground rent.
27:40I suppose I might have a bash at her.
27:42There you are, Leonard.
27:44Who said you couldn't be romantic if you tried?
27:46Now, look,
27:48she's going to her wedding tomorrow,
27:50and that's the best time to meet her, because weddings get her going.
27:52Oh, well, too.
27:54Oh, Lord.
27:56I mean, if I play my cards right...