Nearest And Dearest. S05, E03. Barefaced In The Park.
The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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FunTranscript
00:00The girl told the police that the man put his hand on her bottom.
00:28Dirty devil!
00:32Bottom of back page, column two.
00:36Stop acting the go-tower, Eli.
00:39Oh, hello, Nellie. I was just going to pop out for a stroll round the houses.
00:42Yeah, stroll round the houses. More like a stag around the pubs.
00:46I might pop in the red line and just wet me whistle.
00:49Well, if that's all you're going to wet us, I don't mind.
00:51I'm sick of changing that bed after you've been drinking.
00:55Drinking in bed.
00:58Ah, listen, short house, if I want to go out for a quiet little drink, I'll go out for a quiet little drink.
01:04Oh, shut up.
01:05Hello, Mr. Eli.
01:09Hey, hey, will I do?
01:11It's what you'll do that'll worry me.
01:13What the hell are you supposed to be?
01:16This is me trendy gear. I bought it at that boutique in Accrington.
01:21You know, that new shop, Gigolo's.
01:25You look like an Indian boil doctor.
01:29It's all the rage, is this. I've decided to get with it.
01:33Get with it? You'd better be without it, I'm telling you.
01:37Any road you couldn't get with it, you're already past it.
01:41You'll get us chucked out at the pub in that lot. You know what they're like in that type of room?
01:45If you don't wear a cloth cap and clogs, you're a bloody sissy.
01:49Hey, hey, older girls are like this. It'll get them going.
01:54Ah, going home.
01:56What's all this about girls?
01:58It's just a quiet little foursome number. You see, I met this girl. Well, girl, really. She's very mature.
02:03I prefer the older woman, myself.
02:05What are you on about? There's nobody older than you. You're burnt.
02:09What I want to know is what Tony Armstrong Jones has got to do with it, I mean.
02:13What does this girl want with the two of you? Is she one of these niffs of a maniac?
02:19No, you see, Nellie, she's got this here friend and she said that I could have a date with her if I brought a mate for her friend.
02:24That's me, the mate.
02:28Heaven help her.
02:30Oh, what a disgusting mess.
02:33At your time of life, you should be sat sitting at home, studying your pension book.
02:39Get out of here, go on. Go on, get gone.
02:43I'm surprised at you, are you, Eli? Pleasuring yourself while I'm on my own by myself
02:47with nobody with me, sat sitting there and there's a sex maniac going about.
02:54What the hell are you on about now?
02:56It's in the paper. A sex maniac that's going about.
02:59It's a Park Prowler, they call him. Do you know what? He's already malingered 11 women.
03:08I say 11, actually it's 10. One of them got caught twice.
03:14Anyway, Park's miles away from here and he only bothers with good looking birds, so that lets you out, doesn't it?
03:20Yes. What do you mean?
03:22Hey, look at this in the stock press, look next at racing results.
03:25Park Prowler mystery. Man helping police with their inquiries.
03:29Oh, that's Sherlock Holmes.
03:30No, you old bat, it means they've caught him.
03:34Well, they should lock him up and cut off his privileges.
03:39Do it, do it.
03:42Oh, bloody hell, it's Polly Wolly and her doodle.
03:47What's the doodle?
03:48It's him, that man. He's finally gone and done it.
03:51Good, good for you, Walter lad.
03:54He's done it. Come and sit down.
03:58You mean he's, um, like, um...
04:01Hit the bullseye.
04:03Oh, I don't know how to tell you. He's brought disgrace on the whole family.
04:07He's not been trying to get any pictures again, half price, has he?
04:10Worse than that.
04:11Has he been caught using those foreign coins to get in the lavatory?
04:15No, he's been arrested.
04:17He's been arrested for years.
04:20You don't understand. They've had him down at the police station.
04:24Oh, Nellie, they've interrogated him.
04:28That must have hurt you.
04:32Did it hurt?
04:33Hey, hey, hey, what did the fuzz want with your Walter?
04:36Well, it's this part Prowler business.
04:39Hey, don't tell me, the part Prowler, don't tell him he's had a go at Walter.
04:44He must be a nutcase in that case.
04:47No, he reckoned Walter is the Prowler.
04:52Oh, Walter, how could you do it?
04:56That's what I want to know, how could he do it?
04:59Oh, he couldn't, he hasn't, he wouldn't.
05:03Has he?
05:06Here we are, Walter reckons he got lost, you see,
05:08and when he found himself again, he was standing outside the public toilets.
05:13That must have been convenient.
05:16And then he heard this scream, and the next thing he knew, a lady policeman had hold of him.
05:20Hey, where did she have hold of him?
05:22She's just told you, by the toilets.
05:28Why didn't he deny it?
05:29Oh, that's what puzzles me.
05:31Oh, he should have denied it, he mean he couldn't do such a thing.
05:34He's never done anything like that at home, has he?
05:36No, he wouldn't care if he had.
05:41He hasn't done anything sort of like strange lately, has he?
05:46Well, there's nothing I can put my finger on.
05:51I'm sorry to hear that, Walter lad.
05:54Oh, it's not our Walter, he's innocent.
05:56Oh, he's very innocent.
05:57Yes, and I'm going to prove it.
05:59Come here, Walter.
06:00Now, tell me, when that inspector said to you,
06:04Are you the park prowler?
06:06Why didn't you say, I am not the park prowler?
06:11Eh?
06:14Eh?
06:18You aren't?
06:20Oh, I see.
06:21What does he say, Nellie?
06:22Well, he said he was too proud to deny it.
06:25How did he?
06:26Well, look at him.
06:28I mean, if I were Walter and somebody accused me of molesting a lot of women,
06:31I wouldn't deny it either.
06:33No, because in your case, it'd be true.
06:38He's wanted at police station tomorrow.
06:40They might prosecute him.
06:42Oh, Nellie, what are we going to do?
06:43I know what I'm going to do.
06:44I'm going to put for a drink tonight.
06:45You're doing nothing of the kind.
06:46Come back here, you big girl's blouse.
06:49You are going to get our Walter out of this mess.
06:52You are going to get our Walter out of this mess.
06:55He's not done it again, has he?
06:58Suppose the park prowler strikes again.
07:00It's your job to prove that our Walter couldn't have done it.
07:04Wherever he goes, you have to go with him.
07:09You are our Walter's allergy.
07:14You mean alibi.
07:16Allergy is when you're stood next to someone or looking at someone that makes you feel sick.
07:21Oh, I don't know, though I have got the right word after all.
07:24Come on, come on, danger man.
07:29Don't mind me asking, Nellie,
07:30but why couldn't we have looked after Walter tonight?
07:34Because we are going out.
07:36Oh, I don't fancy bingo tonight, love.
07:38Every time I picked up that little stub of pencil, I'd be thinking about Walter.
07:47We are not going to bingo.
07:50We are going to clear Walter's name.
07:52How do you mean?
07:54Well, the police think that Walter is the park prowler, you see.
07:59Well, we are going to find the real villain.
08:04We are going to be detectives.
08:06But it's not a woman's work, is it, detecting?
08:09Oh, don't be silly.
08:10I mean, what about that French woman, that Inspector Margaret?
08:16We're going in the park.
08:17Hey, but what if prowler jumps out at us?
08:20That's what we want.
08:21If he jumps out at us, that proves it can't be Walter, doesn't it?
08:25Oh, I don't think we should, Nellie.
08:28I admit that it's very risky.
08:30Some big, strong, strapping fellow might jump out and get hold of you and have his way with you.
08:38Well, we'd best get down there, if we're going.
08:41That's the idea, Nell.
08:43If we play our cards right, we've got that prowler.
08:46We have the evidence right in the palm of our hands.
09:11APPLAUSE
09:20Now, think on, lads.
09:22When the last has arrived, Buck's a bit clever, you see.
09:24Aye.
09:25And as the night wears on, like, and we get split up, you were your burden, we were mine.
09:28Aye.
09:29Bambergast coins were you.
09:32Aye, no.
09:33You and Nellie said you have to look after him.
09:35Oh, bloody Nora.
09:37He's like a cloudburst at a picnic.
09:39Walter, have you never thought about dressing a bit trendy like Stan here?
09:43I know what would suit you, the wet leather look.
09:47Hello. Buck's clever, now they're here.
09:49Just you put, keep your eye out a bit, Walter.
09:51Hello, Mabel, look vile. You look a million dollars tonight.
09:54Is this your friend?
09:55Yeah, this is Clara.
09:57Hello, Clara.
09:58Well, I'd like you to meet my friend, see.
10:00Who the hell's that?
10:02Well, you've heard of John Lennon, haven't you?
10:04That's not John Lennon.
10:06No, that's how John Lennon will look when he's 50.
10:10Mind you, I've looked after meself.
10:13Hey, I'm as sprightly as a 60-year-old.
10:17Aye, and he's only 23.
10:20Don't worry, love, you're with the beautiful people.
10:23That's right, the beautiful people.
10:26Oh, hey, hang on a minute.
10:28I've dropped me medallion, don't laugh.
10:31Well, sit down, that's it.
10:33We'll have a little drink, eh?
10:35More like old-time night at the Derby and Joan Club.
10:39Is he with us?
10:41Hang on.
10:44On his just.
10:47Who is he, then? Mick Jagger's great-grandad?
10:50You like your little joke, don't you?
10:53No, he's me uncle from Australia.
10:56Really?
10:57Yeah, he's a big man down, isn't he?
10:59Oh, really?
11:01I thought we'd like to have a few drinks here
11:04and then pop in the park for a bit of a stroll about.
11:07That's if it's all right with you.
11:09Well, I think it is.
11:10Well, that's settled, then.
11:11Oh, Stan, it's your shout.
11:13Two bitters, two port and lemons
11:15and a packet of crisps for the flying doctor here.
11:20Excuse me, my friend's trying to attract my attention.
11:23Either that or he's having a bloody fit.
11:27What do you want, Donovan?
11:28Hey, hey, Mr Eli.
11:30Do you think it's all right us taking him into the park
11:33after what I've just heard them saying about him, it jents?
11:36What have they been saying about him?
11:38They're saying that he's the prowler.
11:40He's the bloke what's grabbing the birds.
11:43Well, we'd best take him with us, then, haven't we?
11:45Cos if we don't make out with these two,
11:47he can grab a couple for us.
11:59Hello, love.
12:01I was getting worried about you.
12:03Well, it's me new shoes, you see.
12:05I'm not quite used to these high heels yet.
12:09Ooh, if I've walked round that grass virgin once,
12:12I've walked round that grass virgin about 20 times.
12:15Did anything happen?
12:17No. Did anything... How did you go on?
12:19I've had no luck, neither.
12:21I mean, luckily, nothing happened.
12:24Oh, dear me.
12:26What's the matter, love? Are your feet hurting?
12:28No, it's these flaming corsets.
12:30The utility corsets my mum bought
12:32to wear underneath her bathing suit.
12:35They always were a bit too small for me.
12:37What have you got them on for?
12:39Well, it's safety precaution, you see.
12:41I can only just get into them.
12:43There's no room for anybody else.
12:47Hmm. Chance would be a fine thing.
12:50What do you mean?
12:52Well, I thought the whole idea was to get this prowler
12:55to, you know...
12:57I mean, we do want him to have a go at us.
13:02Well, we don't want him to have a go,
13:04but, I mean, if he doesn't,
13:06it's no use us being here, is there?
13:09Hey, what would we do if he did have a go?
13:11When I was coming through bushes just now,
13:14I thought, ooh, what would I do
13:16if the prowler leapt out and grabbed hold of me?
13:19Well, you'd have to kick him in the...
13:21Kick him in the...
13:24..wherever you were at the time.
13:30I wish something had happened.
13:34I mean, how long have we been here?
13:36It's quarter to...
13:38Ooh, I must get a little amput on this foot.
13:41Hey, when I think of some of them women he's had a go at...
13:44What do you mean?
13:46Well, he's had a go at that, you know,
13:48you know, that big fat woman.
13:50You mean her that sings at the church social?
13:53She sings, uh,
13:55Everyone knows I'm a ramblin' rose.
13:57She sings, last Thursday, what did she sing?
14:00She sang, I only know Nevada.
14:02Is that what you mean?
14:04Well, he's had a go at her.
14:06Shh, he must be hard up.
14:09Well, why hasn't he had a go at us then?
14:12I don't know.
14:14I mean, it's his day off.
14:17Anyway, I mean,
14:19he must get tired sometimes.
14:21No, you do want to help Walter, don't you?
14:24Of course I do, what do you think?
14:26That's the reason we're here, isn't it?
14:28Yeah, but he's at pub with Eli,
14:30so there'll be plenty of people there to give him an alibi.
14:33So, if the prowler jumped out at you,
14:35and had a go at you,
14:37then it couldn't have been Walter, could it?
14:40The prowler hadn't jumped out at me.
14:42No.
14:44No, but he would have done if he'd seen you, wouldn't he?
14:48But not me, would he?
14:52Right, well, I'll go and get a bobby,
14:54and you can tell him all about it,
14:56how he jumped out at you and everything.
14:58What do you mean, he hadn't jumped out at me?
15:00You mean tell a lie?
15:01Well, it's only a white lie, Nellie.
15:03And you don't want him to lock Walter up, do you?
15:05Yes, no, well, I mean, what do you mean?
15:10I don't know why we had to come to Rotten Park.
15:12I was quite happy in the pub.
15:14Oh, there's nothing like a little stroll in the evening.
15:17I mean, the sun going down on the horizon,
15:20and the air all balmy.
15:22All what?
15:24Balmy.
15:25Yeah, I must be to come here with you.
15:27Oh, that's nice, isn't it?
15:29Moonlight becomes you.
15:31It goes with your hair.
15:35Oh, what a pity you've got them clothes to wear.
15:41Oh, God.
15:43Hey, how about finding somewhere nice and quiet,
15:45just the two of us?
15:47A garden of Eden,
15:49just made for two.
15:51With nothing to mark our joy.
15:56Oh, knickers.
15:59Walter, lad, you must be getting a bit bored, aren't you?
16:01Look, here's some pennies.
16:03Go and play in the toilet.
16:06Try and win a free go.
16:09Are you there?
16:10Hey, I'm only doing this for our Walter, you know.
16:13If me dad's there, you ask me dad.
16:15Now go on, ask him, and he'll tell you.
16:17Oh, he's here.
16:19It's all right, madam, I'm here.
16:21Your troubles are over.
16:22I think they've just started.
16:24Has he run off then, that fella?
16:26Him?
16:27Oh, yes, yes.
16:28Yes, he's run off.
16:29Which way did he run?
16:30Oh, just the usual way.
16:31Put one foot in front of the other.
16:33Something like that.
16:35I mean, which direction?
16:37Oh, he went that way.
16:39So he struck again, the prowler.
16:42So it appears.
16:43Now then, madam, tell me exactly what happened.
16:46Oh, that's a good job you ask me.
16:48You see, well, because he definitely had me.
16:52At his mercy.
16:54Yes, well, I was just sat sitting there, you see, by myself on my own with nobody with me,
16:59and all of a sudden, he sprang out at me.
17:03He seemed to mesmerise me, and I went all weak.
17:06And I said, are you toying with my infections?
17:12And what did he say?
17:13Well, I couldn't tell you.
17:15Oh, come on, you can tell me.
17:16I couldn't tell you.
17:17All right, madam, if you'd rather not.
17:19No, just a minute. Yes, yes, I can tell you.
17:21He said that him and me could make wonderful music together
17:26because there was many a good tune played on an old fiddle.
17:30What am I saying?
17:33I said to him, I didn't mind if he wanted to make music with me,
17:38to give him an exception from the jewel song from Soust.
17:41And he said he played the piano with both hands.
17:45And not only did he play on the white notes and the black notes,
17:48but he played on the cracks in between.
17:55The thing is, Clara, these young chaps are no good talk to you.
18:00You want somebody more mature, like me.
18:04You see, a man's like a bottle of chutney.
18:07The older it is, the fruitier it gets.
18:12You ought to be in bed.
18:15That's what I was saying.
18:17Hey, you, your glasses are steaming up.
18:20Give them here and I'll wipe them for you.
18:23You can take my jacket and my pants as well.
18:30Clara, did anybody tell you what a lovely figure you've got?
18:37Come here, come here.
18:39I wonder what Clara's doing.
18:41I know what Stan would like to be doing, but it'd take him all night.
18:44I can't stop out all night. My mother wouldn't like it.
18:47Your mother's not going to bloody well get it.
18:49I mean, your mother's not going to know about it.
18:51Look, I think I'd best be going. I don't want to miss wrestling.
18:54Hang on a bit. Hang on. Sit still. You get all the wrestling we want.
18:57Here, how about this for the Casanova stranglehold, eh?
19:03Oh, no, that's not fair. I wasn't expecting that.
19:06Come here, let's have a...
19:10Hey, that's two falls. Let's go for the submission.
19:13Come here, give us a kiss.
19:15Hey, look out. Hang on, that's my shopping arm.
19:17Is this man annoying you, miss?
19:19Yeah, he is. It's a flipping disgrace having men like him around
19:22attacking defenceless women.
19:24We're only going to show him his falling cross buttock.
19:27Yes, well, come along to the station
19:29and we'll get the police surgeon to have a look at it, all right?
19:32Isn't it marvellous? What's the charge? Attempted suicide?
19:37Clarey?
19:39Clarey?
19:41Oh, you've changed, you frock.
19:45Ooh, ooh, hey, hey, it's one of them button-up fronts.
19:50Ooh!
19:54Hey, where are you taking me, Clarey?
19:56The bloody police station.
20:00So that's how I found that I was musically declined, you see.
20:05When I picked up this comb and I put a bit of tissue paper on it
20:09and I blew into it,
20:11you'd be surprised what came out of that comb.
20:16Lots to do. Am I boring you?
20:20Look, madam, are you or are you not going to describe this man?
20:25What man?
20:27The man who attacked you.
20:29Oh, yes, the man who attacked... Yes, yes.
20:31He was small and he was getting on a bit and he was bald.
20:35Just sounds like your Walter, you see.
20:37They'll think it's somebody like him going about doing it.
20:40I see. Well, that's quite distinctive.
20:42He's small, old and bald. Yes.
20:44Something like this chap here, in fact. Exactly, yes.
20:47Ooh, loom and stick.
20:49No, no, that's more like him. What are you talking about?
20:52No, no, I meant him. I meant... Ooh, ooh.
20:54Lady, won't you make up your mind?
20:56Well, you see, he was going down, you see,
20:58and he was walking and running about...
21:00But it was one of these three? Yes, no, maybe.
21:03Well, can't you say definitely? Yes, definitely, maybe.
21:08All right, Bert, line them up. What do you mean, line them up?
21:11I don't know what they're going to do.
21:13Well, it's like they do on the telly, you see.
21:15It's, er... The police do it, you see.
21:17It's like an identification parade.
21:19All right, lady, I want you to take your time, have a good look
21:22and tell us which of these three is the prowler.
21:25What does she know about it, the old trout?
21:27What I know about it is neither here nor there.
21:29But I'm here and you're there, so there.
21:32All right, let's get on with it.
21:35Let's get on with it. Now, is it him?
21:38Oh, no, he's not a sex maniac.
21:40I'm his wife and he's never done anything.
21:44All right, step aside.
21:46How about him?
21:48Oh. Is that you, Mr Eli?
21:51That rules out Hawkeye the Mohican.
21:54Him the prowler.
21:56I've never heard of such a tatty-headed of me like.
21:59And that leaves only you, sir.
22:02That I, yes.
22:05Is this the one, madam?
22:07Well, I don't really know.
22:10You did say he was small.
22:12Yes, I did.
22:14But he was kneeling down, you see, at the time.
22:17Get him to kneel down.
22:19She's start raving bonkers.
22:21Kneel down. Kneel down, yes.
22:27Well, I don't know, I think.
22:30I'm not quite sure, really.
22:33No, perhaps I could hear his voice, you see.
22:36Get him to say, I am a dirty old man.
22:39I will, I was like. Say it.
22:41Say it. Yes, say it. I'm a dirty old man.
22:44At last I've got you to admit it.
22:50No, I couldn't really know, you see.
22:53This prowler, you see, he sort of seemed to have his nose to one side.
22:59Get him to put his nose on one side.
23:01Get off.
23:07Do it. Do it.
23:09Get down. Get down. Get down.
23:12You promise to behave yourself in future?
23:14I promise I will.
23:16All right, put your nose back.
23:18No, I don't think it was him.
23:20As a matter of fact, my assassin had his nose right to the other side.
23:23I see. Well, I'm fed up with all of this.
23:26And I'm going to run the lot of you in.
23:29Oh, there he goes, behind the bandstand.
23:31All right, that's enough. There he goes.
23:33Run for your lives. Run for your lives.
23:35Run for your lives. Run for your lives.
23:39Hey, Paul, help. Paul, help me mother.
23:45Where the hell is she? I must have been home an hour.
23:48I wonder if she's gone to our lilies.
23:52Where the hell have you been?
23:55I bumped into the park prowler.
23:59You bumped into the prowler? What did he do?
24:02He put his hands on my shoulders and he turned me round like this.
24:06He looked straight into my eyes and he...
24:09Gave himself up, I know.
24:11How did you know?
24:13I'd have done the same thing myself.
24:15Oh, get off. I don't want to tell you that.
24:17Closed your mouth.
24:24I don't want to tell you.
25:25The girl told the police that the man put his hand on her bottom.
25:29Dirty devil.
25:33Bottom of back page, column two.
25:38Stop acting the goat, our Eli.
25:40Oh, hello, Nellie.
25:42I was just going to pop out for a stroll round the houses.
25:44Yeah, stroll round the houses.
25:46I'll see you in a bit.
25:48I'll see you in a bit.
25:50I'll see you in a bit.
25:52Yeah, stroll round the houses.
25:54More like a stag around the pubs.
25:56I might pop in the red light and just whet my whistle.
25:59Well, if that's all you're going to whet, I shan't mind.
26:01I'm sick of changing that bed after you've been drinking.
26:06Drinking in bed.
26:10Listen, short-arse, if I want to go out for a quiet little drink,
26:13I'll go out for a quiet little drink.
26:15Oh, shut up.
26:18Hey, hey, will I do?
26:20It's what you'll do that'll worry me.
26:22What the hell are you supposed to be?
26:25This is me trendy gear.
26:27I bought it at that boutique in Atherington.
26:30You know, that news shop, Gigolo's.
26:34You look like an Indian boil doctor.
26:38It's all the rage, is it?
26:40I've decided to get with it.
26:42Get with it? You'd better be without it, I'm telling you.
26:46Any road you couldn't get with it, you're already past it.
26:50You'll get us chucked out at the pub in that lot.
26:52You know what they're like in that type of room?
26:54If you don't wear a cloth cap and clogs, you're a bloody sissy.
26:58Hey, hey, older girls don't like this.
27:01He'll get them going.
27:03Ah, going home.
27:05What's all this about girls?
27:07It's just a quiet little foursome number.
27:09You see, I met this girl. Well, girl, really.
27:11She's very mature.
27:12I prefer the older woman, Michel.
27:15What are you on about? There's nobody older than you at your birth.
27:18What I want to know is what Tony Armstrong Jones has got to do with it, I mean.
27:22And what does this girl want with the two of you?
27:25Is she one of these niffs of a maniac?
27:28No, you see, Nellie, she's got this here friend,
27:31and she said that I could have a date with her if I brought a mate for her friend.
27:34That's me, the mate!
27:36Cor!
27:37Heaven help her.