Nearest And Dearest. S05, E01. Make Yourself At Home.
The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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FunTranscript
00:00Ah, Friday night at last, isn't it? Thank goodness when it's weekend and we can shut
00:27up the shutters and shuffle our worries off, eh? And not worry about another pickle till
00:33Monday morning. Well, I've done some pickling this week, you know I have, I'll tell you.
00:39Well, you can shred all your worries and inhale all your cares, like me dad used to do. Can
00:46you remember when it used to come to weekend and the last pickler had pickled? Ah, we used
00:52to be sat sitting in that chair there, with a big roaring fire and a big pile of library books.
00:58Ah, chucking them on one by one. I can't tell you how glad I am. I mean, now I feel I've
01:05earned, you know, two whole days without being interfered with. Oh, God. Oh, it's snow white
01:18and dopey. Nellie, what are you doing? Streetwalking in your nightie. Nellie, you'll never believe
01:28what's happened. Why, has your Walter broke his duck? Prepare yourself for a shot, Nellie
01:34love. It's already happened. What's happened? He's not been doing what he did before, has
01:39he? Stood standing on top of the coal shed in the moonlight. No, no, no. He hasn't been
01:47streetwalking again. That's just it. We'd only just gone to bed when it happened. I was flung
01:54backwards across bedroom. Yeah? First there was this creaking noise and it subsided. What did?
02:02Our house, that's what I'm trying to tell you. You mean to tell me your house has been disintegrated?
02:10Well, not exactly, but it shunted a bit. Yeah, the lens come off. They say it's subsidence due
02:19to the old coal mine work. Where are you? Ah, well, thanks for coming. Ta-ra. No, you don't
02:27understand. I bloody do understand. Ta-ra. No, we've been evacuated, you see. I mean, because
02:34the house is, you know. I know, not fit for human consumption. That's just it, isn't it? I mean,
02:41we'll have to have somewhere to stop. Yes, we'll have to take them in. I mean, we'll have to put
02:46them up, won't we? Just like the weekend, around a little bit longer. How much longer? A month or two.
02:53What the hell do you think this is, the Actrington Hilton? What they all said. And now then, where's
03:00the patient? There's no sickness here. The police said I'd find a man who's been through hell. My
03:05God, they didn't exaggerate. Ta-ra. Oh, no, Doctor. It must be Narrow Walter here, you see. I left
03:15word-word with D, you see. So you're the one who needs a doctor. He doesn't need a doctor, he needs a
03:20plumber. No, you see, it's purely pathological, you see, Doctor, you see. He's had a terrible shock,
03:26you see. Well, instead of him sort of letting it out like that, see what he's doing is buckling
03:33it up inside. He doesn't throb a lot. And his eyes diluted. What can you see? The back of his head.
03:57Oh, well, at least he's alive. Will you put that in writing? I think we'll see his reflexes. Oh, don't worry, love, I'm not Luke.
04:09Try that, Doctor. Get off! Where big girls blows. I'm rather disturbed. He's obviously under a severe
04:25shock. Oh, no, he's always like that. Get him up to bed, plenty of rest and quiet. I'll give you a diet sheet.
04:32He'd be better off with a rubber sheet. I'm his wife, Doctor. Is it all right if I sleep with him? Oh, yes, that's all right. Yes, it's excitement he has to avoid. Is he going to be all right, Doctor? I mean, he's not going to be taken from us. Who can say?
04:55The human body is one of nature's wonders. Say that again. What the hell? Sir Walter trying to say something. Eh? What are you waiting for, a P.S.?
05:24No, we've got a knocking arrangement, you see. There's a knock and a knock-knock and a knock-knock-knock. And that was a knock-knock? Yes, it's a good thing it weren't a knock-knock-knock.
05:39Or the bloody ceiling had to come down. No, you don't understand. See, one knock means he wants a drink. Two knock means that he wants something to eat. And three knock means... Don't tell me. No, three knock means he thinks he's going. Oh, aye? And how's he going to let you know when he's been? Blow a bloody bugle.
06:00Why can you be so insensible about a fellow that's just lay lying above your head there? Three knock means he thinks he's passing on to his maker in the great behind. He'll never go through them pearly gates, you know, unless they're marked gents.
06:24Well, I best take him his dinner. His dinner? What about my flaming dinner? You ought to be pleased about yourself. After all, you are sound in limb and wind. I mean, you're not sick. Well, I'm sick of this, I can tell you. Having to kip down on this sofa. Having kept waiting for me dinner. Hey, do you think it's safe to give him all them prunes?
06:48I mean, there must be ten bobsworth on that plate. We've kind of fought to keep him in that style. Dare off you. What do you expect us to do, let him lay down and die? You just try me. Anyway, where's our Lily? She should be getting her dinner. Where is she? Well, she said she's getting a bit fed up. She's gone out to sort of cheer herself up a bit. Good idea. Where's she gone to? Order the coffin.
07:10She's gone to play bingo. You know what she's like, don't you, Lily? I mean, she's always been a gambler. She'd have to be to marry Walter, wouldn't she? Oh, Lily. I didn't expect you so soon. I mean, I'll take him his dinner up yet.
07:31Hello, Walter's just repeated himself. Message received, over and out. What is it he's knocking with? I don't know, but it's getting worked up. That last knock were a shout. It's not before, hasn't it? I can tell. What are you trying to incinerate?
07:52What are you trying to incinerate that I'm inhaling your Walter? Where were you when he wanted an all over wash? You don't mean to? I did not. I just wipe where it should. Hey, she had to use pumice stone.
08:12What do you call that? That's dark meat. Well, what Walter wants in this state is a bit of breast. I'm doing my best. Who do you think I am, funny crabbeck? I just can't see him eating that, that's all.
08:33Let me tell you, when I cook, I don't have to use a cookery book. My cooking is very good cooking, because let me tell you, when I cook, I've got green fingers. I'm telling you that. You flaming...
08:49You flaming... That's her Walter's dinner. Yours is in the kitchen, a chip butty. That's Walter's SOS. Hey, that and that cat stuck your mouth on London again.
09:10You flamer, you. I reckon you'd rob a budgie of his seed in its... Oh, now you listen to me now, Nellie. I'm just about fed up with that Walter. He's eating my dinner, sleeping in my bed, drifting up in my ale. Lily and Walter have got to go. You can't kick him out in the street.
09:27Oh, I wouldn't kick him out in the street, Nellie, no. The neighbours might see. I'll kick him out the back entry. Oh, Nellie. What's to do now? It's our Walter. He's come all over queer. Is he on the turn? No, you don't understand. He wants a paper and pencil. Hey, he's not started writing those poison pen letters again, has he? No, he wants to make out his will. Oh, his will. His will.
09:53Oh, well, Doctor, stand there and get the lad his tea. I'll take it him up. Yes, well, you're not going to chuck him out in the street, then? Chuck him out. I'll give that lad my last half penny. I hope he'll give me his. No, no, no, I must rush to his side. Yes, with words of comfort. No, no, with his bloody paper and pencil.
10:23Very worrying, you know. Very worrying when our Walter making his last will. I'll say it's worrying. I don't even know if he can spell Eli. Quick, quick. What's the matter? Has he gone? No, he's brought me his pencil.
10:50Here, take mine. Hang about, wait a minute. Give him that, will you? What's that? My card. My God, you're the one, aren't you? You'd do anything to get into his last will and tentacle. I reckon you wouldn't be to going up there and writing it out yourself. I would have done, but you stopped me going in his room. I thought you were being a bit previous going up there to show him your black armband.
11:15Well, I thought I'd give him a laugh. Might be the last one he has. I think you're abdominal. All you can think about is what you've got to get out of it, that's what you think of. I mean, what makes you think that our Walter's worth anything?
11:31Well, wait up for yourself. Look at the way he's lived. Any morning, you can see our lily at butcher's, begging for bones for the dog. What's wrong with that? They've never had a bloody dog. They've been very careful. Careful? They've even got a padlock on the dustbin.
11:51And what about his snowballs? Incredible. And what happened when he had that last big win, eh? Took us all out for a big thrash, didn't he? When we got there, did he put his hand in his pocket? Not likely. It was most embarrassing. You had to pay.
12:11Oh, Eli might be right, you know. Our Walter's probably rolling in it. I'd best get up there before he does. He's probably got thousands stashed under the floorboards at their house. I'd better get up there before she does.
12:31I think I'll get up there and see how he's doing. What for? Oh, I just thought I'd sort of puff up his fillers. I'll come with you. What for? Oh, I don't know. See if he can lend me a black tie.
12:51His eyes are closed. Do you think he's, you know, snuffed it? Very hard to tell with Walter. I think I can hear him breathing. That's me, you daft oik. I wonder if he's done it. Done what? Make out his will, you...
13:15Well, he did something before he went to sleep. Look, he's got his knees up. I wonder if he's holding on to it under there. Put your hand under and find out.
13:40I can't do it. No, it wouldn't be proper for me to do that. I mean, that's his own private property. I'll just straighten his fillers a bit.
13:56Oh, look what I found by accident. What? There's a note it leaves. He's written by a foreign writer. The perfume garden. No wonder their bloody house fell down. Put it back. Let's have a look under here. It's not there. Where's that will? It's not here. It's not there neither.
14:20It's not there. I think we should leave him to rest in peace. Go on. What are you two doing here? Don't tell me. I can see you're hovering like orcs. We are not hovering like kite orcs. We are here on an error of mercy.
14:47Where have you been Florence Nightingale? If you must know, I've been out after a couple of fellers. What?
14:54Hello Miss Nellie. Hello Eli. Darling, it's grand outside. On a day like this it feels good to be alive. I'm sorry Walter. What the hell in coronation street are these two doing here?
15:11Well, don't you see Nellie? Psychological. If Walter thinks he's going, he has a look at these two walking about and he thinks he's in with a chance. No, Walter wants you to be the witnesses when he signs his will. Well, I think you've got a brass neck Owen Nellie. Call in these two in.
15:32Yeah, I mean, well Nellie and I, you know, we've been looking forward to this day for years. It's always been led to expect that if your Walter made a will, that we, our Eli and me, would be his executioners.
15:47Oh, hello there. Where's Miss Nellie then? What the hell do you want with her? I brought her these flowers. I'm going to woo her. Woo her? She's not a winner yet.
16:13Ah, but I want a bit first in. And then with her money and my looks, we'll be toaster corn. You four-eyed old buzzard. You can't woo Nellie with Walter still wheezing away. Give us them flowers and get off outside. Go on, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Get back to your horse.
16:44Gee, wooing Nellie with Walter still warm. Not a bad idea, though. I mean, she's no Jackie Anassis. More like Jackie Pellow.
17:00Still, she probably could be all right. I mean, still her blackhead her nose lifted. Lily could have the lot lifted.
17:12Isn't Nellie back yet with Walter's medicine? Oh, Lily, she's just taken it up to him. Oh, well, I'll go and read Sunday paper in the parlour.
17:20No, I wouldn't go in the parlour, Lily. Come and sit down in here, Lily love. What? Sit down here on the sofa and put your feet up on the puff, love. Make yourself at home. If you say so.
17:39You know, I've often thought, Lily, with two peoples whose interests can only be described as common, you and me, we never seem to get together like honest tods.
17:52How do you mean, Eli Pledge? Well, I could never say this to you before, Lily, not while you were still married. Well, I still am. Yes, but only just.
18:03That more comfortable, Walter, are you? We don't want you getting stiff, do we? Not before you, er, I mean, er, let's have a look at your tongue then.
18:19Oh, my. Are you going to put that back in your mouth? Best have some medicine. Good stuff, this, you know. What? It'll shift anything.
18:30Still, that's never been one of your problems, has it? It says, er, invaluable for expectant mothers, athletes and brain workers. I suppose doctor knows best.
18:49Right, here we go. That's that. Here, love, just a second. Here, that's it. Have a taste of that. That's it. All right. Has it gone down?
19:01Let's have a look at your tongue again, then. Oh, that reminds me, I'm going to have that fur coat cleaned again.
19:10It's, er, been a pleasure looking after you, love, I'll say that. You've not always had it easy, have you, Walter? No, I mean, no, Lily, I mean, she's done her best, I know, but you've been very good to her, you know, you've been very good.
19:31I mean, you've never been one for playing away. Come to think of it, you've never been one for playing at all.
19:40But, um, if you think you're doing right, do you think you're doing right, though, leaving it all to our Lily? I mean, you might change your mind, you know. I mean, you've years in front of you, yes, years.
19:56Well, when I say years, I mean, I hope you can last out till work's week, you know, cos we've got your seat booked on that chair-a-bang, and if you're not there, let's not get our money back.
20:13See you later, love. I've only got to look at you and Walter together and I get sick inside.
20:20Well, thank you very much, I don't. Oh, no, no, not in me belly. Here, in me heart. You see, when I were younger, I were feted. Yeah, you said.
20:30Well, think back to your wedding day. Why do you think I got drunk? Cos it were free. No. I was bottling it all up inside. You see, I can only tell you this now Walter's nearly gone, he only just beat me to it.
20:44To what? To you, you deaf bitch. I mean, Lily, love, it's only my shy and gentle disposition that's held me back. I mean, I've never, I've never been a smooth talker like you are, Walter.
20:57You're not so shy now, are you, you lie-pledge? I've heard a thing or two about you, you know. Then it's time you heard the truth, Lily, love.
21:05About you and that bus conductress in Akron. There you are, give a dog a bad name. All the time I've been waiting for the right woman to come along, I've kept myself pure.
21:18You mean, you've... Never.
21:23You don't get yourself all this time, just for me? I don't know what to say. Well, I do.
21:32You mucky, mawling monkeys, you. Look at you, stood standing there like Sodom and Tomorrow.
21:39I asked for you, haven't I, Lily? Don't you count your chickens because our Walter's getting better, I'll tell you. He's asked for you, just now. He said he fancies a nibble.
21:49He must be feeling a lot better, then.
21:53He says he wants you to get straight home and make sure that that house is fit for cohabitation.
21:59That house is fit for cohabitation.
22:03Right, talk.
22:06Who the hell do you think you are, Rudolph Fasolino?
22:10Oh, shut up, short-arse, it were only a bit of fun.
22:15Hey, I've got a good idea while she's out. What? Let's nip upstairs and get his bed down. What, you mean, put him down here? No, at the bus stop.
22:23That'll give him the hint, not to mention her.
22:26Hello, is he here? The bloody magic Christian?
22:31Oh, Walter, I'm glad to see you've got a bit of colour back.
22:35Pity it's mostly green.
22:44Nellie, what were eating burnt today, high five?
22:47Hey, wait a minute.
22:49Hey, there's some paper there, it's got some writing on.
22:53Oh, look, do you think it is?
22:56Yes, what do you think it is? It is.
22:58It is, look, look, look. It says, to Nellie and Nellie Pledge I bequeath my... Oh, bloody no, it must be on your bit.
23:06No, it's not, I've only got two crosses on here.
23:09Hey, do you think they're two kisses?
23:11No, that'll be where Stan and Grenville signed.
23:15Hey, well, they did intend to leave us something, didn't they?
23:19I wonder if it were worth out.
23:20Ah, it'll be something and nothing. After all, I mean, we'll never get out for night, you and me.
23:27No, we can't expect out, can we, Nellie, love?
23:30If you think I'm coming up there with a drink, you've another thing coming.
23:34Or out to eat.
23:36Ah!
23:38Three notes.
23:40Yes, you know what that means?
23:42That means he's going. Well, come on, do something.
23:44What shall I do, go for a wee little eat?
23:46No, no, no, no, while she's out the house, I'll get a pencil.
23:48I'll get a paper.
23:50I'll get a pencil.
23:56Don't go yet, Walter!
23:58I won't!
24:20APPLAUSE
24:50Ah, Friday night at last, isn't it?
25:18Thank goodness when it's weekend and we can shut up the shutters and shuffle our worries off, eh?
25:24And not worry about another pickle till Monday morning.
25:28Well, I've done some pickling this week, you know I have, I'll tell you.
25:32Well, you can shred all your worries and inhale all your cares, like me dad used to do.
25:38Can you remember when it used to come to weekend and the last pickler had pickled?
25:43Ah, we used to be sat sitting in that chair there, with a big roaring fire and a big pile of library books.
25:50Ah, chucking them on one by one.
25:53I can't tell you how glad I am.
25:56I mean, now I feel I've earned, you know, two whole days without being interfered with.
26:05Oh, God.
26:06Oh, God.
26:08Oh.
26:10It's Snow White and Dopey.
26:14Nellie!
26:16Walter, what are you doing?
26:18Streetwalking in your nightie.
26:20Nellie, you'll never believe what's happened.
26:22Why, has your Walter broke his duck?
26:25Prepare yourself for a shock, Nellie, love.
26:28It's already happened.
26:30What's happened? He's not been doing what he did before, has he?
26:33Eh?
26:35Stood standing on top of the coal shed in the moonlight.
26:38No, no, no. He hasn't been streetwalking again.
26:41That's just it. We'd only just gone to bed when it happened.
26:45What a shock. I was flung backwards across bedroom.
26:49Yeah?
26:51First there was this creaking noise, then it subsided.
26:55What did?
26:57Our house, that's what I'm trying to tell you.
26:59You mean to tell me your house has been disintegrated?
27:03Well, not exactly, but it shunted a bit.
27:07Yeah, the lens come off.
27:09They say it's subsidence due to the old coal mine workers.
27:13Yes.
27:15Where are you?
27:17Ah, well, thanks for coming to that.
27:19No, you don't understand.
27:21I bloody do understand.