Nearest And Dearest. S05, E05. Bottoms Up.
The phrase "nearest and dearest" often evokes a sense of warmth, family, and close relationships. It's a term that brings to mind the people we hold closest to our hearts—our family, friends, and loved ones. However, in the context of British television, "Nearest and Dearest" takes on a different meaning, referring to a classic sitcom that captured the hearts of many.
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
"Nearest and Dearest" was a British television sitcom that aired from 1968 to 1973. The show starred Hylda Baker and Jimmy Jewel as Nellie and Eli Pledge, siblings who inherit their father's pickle business in Colne, Lancashire. The series was known for its humor derived from the characters' squabbles, malapropisms, and the unique dynamics of a family-run business.
The premise of the show was simple yet effective: Nellie, a hard-working spinster, and Eli, a womanizing slacker, must run the family business together to inherit their father's fortune. This setup led to comedic situations and memorable catchphrases that are still recognized by fans of classic British comedy.
Despite the on-screen chemistry between Baker and Jewel, it was widely reported that the two did not get along off-screen, adding a layer of intrigue to the show's history. Their tumultuous relationship is often cited as one of the most toxic in British sitcom history.
"Nearest and Dearest" also serves as a cultural touchstone, reflecting the era's social norms and the changing landscape of British comedy. It's a show that, while rooted in the 1960s and 70s, continues to find new audiences who appreciate its wit and charm.
For those who grew up watching "Nearest and Dearest," the show remains a nostalgic reminder of a bygone era of television. And for newcomers, it offers a glimpse into the rich tapestry of British humor and the timeless appeal of family dynamics in storytelling.
Whether you're revisiting the series or discovering it for the first time, "Nearest and Dearest" stands as a testament to the enduring nature of well-crafted comedy and the universal themes of family and ambition. It's a piece of television history that continues to be nearest and dearest to many viewers' hearts.
Listen to our radio station Old Time Radio https://link.radioking.com/otradio
Listen to other Shows at My Classic Radio https://www.myclassicradio.net/
Entertainment Radio | Broadcasting Classic Radio Shows | Patreon
Remember that times have changed, and some shows might not reflect the standards of today’s politically correct society. The shows do not necessarily reflect the views, standards, or beliefs of Entertainment Radio
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FunTranscript
00:00Oh, well, that's how it all happens.
00:30Well, you see, I've never done it before.
00:32You're doing fine. You've got a lovely touch.
00:36You're always saying that.
00:39Well, that was great, Nelly.
00:42You're a natural.
00:43Well, I'd best be off.
00:45Yes, well, I won't forget what you told me when you had me behind there.
00:50Right. And I'll see you in about a week.
00:52And I don't know how to thank you enough for taking charge here while I'm away.
00:56Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed.
00:58And if we don't, we may never pass this way again.
01:02You never spoke a truer word.
01:06Ta-ra, then.
01:07Ta-ra, then.
01:10I'll just have a practice pull before we all leave.
01:15Let's see.
01:18Oh! Oh!
01:24I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
01:26I didn't know you were stood standing behind me, you know, getting an eyeball.
01:30I want an eyeball. I've got to look at me.
01:32Oh, yes. Well, I'll soon get an eye. Perhaps I'd better have two.
01:36What are you doing?
01:38Oh, do you know, I just can't think why the landlord asked you to take care of the spread eagle for him while he was away.
01:44I mean, why didn't he let me take charge?
01:46Well, I'm sure he's casting no nasturtiums on you, you know, Belle.
01:50But, I mean, he just didn't want anybody to get their fingers trapped in the till.
01:54Oh, meaning that I would.
01:56Well, I mean, you must admit, Beryl, you'd have to be careful not to get anything trapped in the till.
02:04I'll just go and change this wet blouse.
02:06Yes. I'd better mop this floor up.
02:10It's so nice to go travelling in Blackburn, Burnley and Cone.
02:16It's so nice to go travelling...
02:19Ah, where's Big Beryl, who won first prize in the barmaid of the year competition?
02:23Ah, that's my Beryl. I'd recognise that welcoming smile anyway.
02:29Come on, Beryl, you know that handshake you seem like.
02:32Let's have a few pints before I go home and face that old maddock Nelly.
02:36Bloody Nora.
02:39No, it's bloody Nelly.
02:43And what do you mean, calling me bottom and smacking me haddock?
02:49Just a minute. I'm in the right place. I'm not seeing things. I've not had a drink yet.
02:54This is the Spread Eagle and you are our Nelly.
02:56Of course I'm your Nelly. What do you mean, the Spread...
02:59Well, you could be Big Beryl after she refused to serve a drink to a witch doctor.
03:05Oh, well, you're wrong there as well. I'm here to look after this pub for the next few days.
03:10What, you, the licensee?
03:12No, more like the licenser.
03:16You see, Mr Ramsden's had a bereavement and he's asked me to look after the pub
03:21because he knows I'm the only one that will not sop the profits.
03:25Oh, well, Nelly, you mean to tell me every time I want to get away from you every night I've got to stop a dole?
03:30No, I thought you could come down here every night and be of some disservice to me, you know.
03:34Sort of make yourself useless.
03:37Oh, well, that's all right. That's all right. I'll start with a saff drink. Now, what will I have?
03:42Oh, I'll tell you what you'll have.
03:46Nowt.
03:47I've got a slate here.
03:50Oh, hello, Miss Nelly.
03:53What are you doing here? I left you with 14 women under you.
03:59You were supposed to keep them pickling.
04:04I know, Miss Nelly, but without you there to bust me about, I'll let meself off early.
04:12Oh, I don't know.
04:14Everyone with me, Eli?
04:16Stan, Stan, you're a prince of a man. Two pints, Nelly. Oh, and one for Stan.
04:21Oh, no. I'm not serving him. He's not sopping on my time.
04:25Hello, Miss Nelly. Can I have a bloody Mary?
04:29No, you bloody can't.
04:31Let him have his pint as a drink, Nelly.
04:33The landlord said it was my derogative to serve who I like.
04:38Well, I don't like, so you can go where you like.
04:41Come on, lads, let's sit down here. There must be somebody's coming that she'll serve.
04:46Bloody hell.
04:49It's the vampire lovers.
04:52You're not going to expect Walter to get his hand down. You never know what he might find.
04:59Hello, Lily, Walter. You look a bit puffed, Walter. Has he been running? Or jogging?
05:06Is it true he's joined the Middleton Harriers?
05:10No, not quite, but it is a fact that he seems to have found his second wind.
05:15Oh, I'm glad of that, because I know you've been looking for it for a long time.
05:20As a matter of fact, there's something I want a word in your ear about.
05:23Oh, yeah?
05:24About, er...
05:25Yeah, well, it's all right, Walter. We're not talking about you.
05:29You just stay there. Come along to the end of the count.
05:35We'll be out of his earsight, you see, but we can still keep it in our eyeshot, you see.
05:41Oh, just a second.
05:43Oh, Beryl.
05:45Yeah?
05:46Give Walter anything he likes, will you?
05:49Anything?
05:50Well, anything you think he can handle.
05:55Well, what do you fancy, love?
05:58I'll bet you do.
06:01That's about half a bitter to be getting on with.
06:04Oh, look at you, Walter, smiling away.
06:08Oh, look at his little face.
06:11Oh, smiling with that, you know, full of exuberance.
06:16Hey, I'm not so sure he should be having that.
06:19Oh, don't be silly. It's only half a pint, you know.
06:22That'll not do him any harm.
06:28The way you're Walter drinks, I mean, that'll last him all night.
06:35Well...
06:38When do you think that went?
06:40I hope he hasn't spilt it down his trousers.
06:44Well, it'll not matter so much if he has. It'll not be noticed.
06:49Well, what was all the trouble about, then?
06:52Well, we're having a bit of trouble with his compensation.
06:55Oh, you mean that money you should have had
06:57when he got run over with that wheelbarrow, you know, in Eaton Park?
07:01Oh, poor Walter.
07:04Yes, you told me about that.
07:06But you said he was going to have it all out in front of the tribunal.
07:11That's right.
07:12Well, he did.
07:17Hey, Walter, that went out the same place.
07:20Well, if it did, has he been?
07:25Yes, he has.
07:26Well, I'm glad, because otherwise he'd be overflowing.
07:29Hey, I say, this is getting us nowhere at all, you know, after getting him on pints.
07:37Oh, on pints now, are we?
07:39Then the doctor turned round and said it was as good as new.
07:43Well, you knew different to that, didn't you?
07:48That's a pint.
07:49Of course, he hasn't had to put up with it as long as I have, has he?
07:53No, that's very true.
07:56That was a pint.
07:58Oh, heck, I'm not going to get any sleep tonight.
08:01Neither will your Walter. He'll be up and down like a jack-in-the-box.
08:06Hey, Beryl, no more orders over there, you know. Not until further notice.
08:12And then what does he do?
08:14Well, he...
08:15Oh, knickers, that's torn it.
08:17Who's torn the knickers?
08:20Hang on, I've got an idea.
08:22Beryl, Beryl.
08:30Are you all right, Mr Eli?
08:32Yes, we'll all be all right in a minute. Hang about.
08:34Ooh. What, with the lights still on?
08:37Ooh, don't tell me any more. I mean, I can't listen to it.
08:41And then what does he do?
08:43He's fletched.
08:45Oh, yes. Remember where we were and then tell me all about it after, will you?
08:49Yes, what do you want?
08:50The bitter barrel's run dry.
08:52No wonder the way he's been hammering at it.
08:55Well, there's only one thing, Beryl.
08:57You'd better get hold of the barrel and take it down to the brewers and ask them to fill it up again, will you?
09:03You're not me knackered old nosebag.
09:06It's a barrel, not a jug.
09:08You've got more barrels down there, you've got to connect a new pipe.
09:11Well, I don't know what to do.
09:13Hang on, I'll try and get you a volunteer.
09:15I've got one. Me.
09:17And me. And me.
09:19There you are, I've got three of them for you, eh?
09:21Come on, lads, there's work to be done.
09:23Yo-ho, yo-ho, we're off to work we go.
09:27Oh, our Eli's not bad, you know, really.
09:31Sometimes he's almost like a brother to me.
09:36Well, that's it.
09:38That's no good to me.
09:40Give me a bucket.
09:41Here's a bucket, Mr Eli.
09:44We'll have a right drink now.
09:46There's still none coming through, Miss Nelly.
09:52Some for you.
09:57They're on a drink, son.
10:04Mile's gone off now.
10:06I'm going to go down there and see what's up.
10:10Aye, aye, Conger. Aye, aye, Conger.
10:17Stop it off, stop it off.
10:19Out, out.
10:20Hey, what are you doing?
10:22No more for him.
10:23Get off, get off, get off.
10:25You, Kamasutra, you.
10:28Nelly, come on, get off home.
10:31Hey, just keep your hands off our Lily tonight.
10:36And you too, very good of you, eh?
10:39You should have been at home,
10:40instead of sat sitting sup in here
10:42into a state of stupefaction.
10:44Go on, get going.
10:45Go on, the two of you.
10:46And you, with that moped parked outside.
10:49You've only breathed into that packet of crisps
10:51and they've gone green.
10:53Go on, get going.
10:54Go on.
10:55Out you go.
10:56Hey, hey, Nelly, Ellie.
10:57What the hell's up with you, eh, K-Lighter Summit?
10:59They can't chuck all customers out.
11:02Well, can't I, eh?
11:03They've done nothing but sat sitting sup in here all night.
11:06Come on, get out of it, lot of you.
11:07Come on.
11:08You and I, come on.
11:09Out, out, out.
11:11I'm not joking, get out.
11:13Lily, come here.
11:14Get that off you.
11:15Hey, come here.
11:16You know they're supposed to drink.
11:18It is a pub, you know.
11:19Yes, it's a nice pub too.
11:21But the way you're carrying on,
11:23you're turning it into a Sodom and Tomorrow.
11:52Thank you, Eli.
11:54Think nothing of it.
11:55Oh, by the way, while you've got it there,
11:58chalk me up another packet of fags, will you?
12:00Yeah.
12:01You're the only customer I've had in about three days.
12:05Well, you know, Nelly, you made one teeny weeny little error.
12:09Oh, what's that?
12:10It's not usual to chuck the customers out of the pub for drinking.
12:14Did Mr Ramsden not tell you that?
12:17Oh, poor Mr Ramsden.
12:20I mean, I've let him down.
12:22Little did he think.
12:24When he left here, he was all exposed.
12:28Don't worry, Nelly.
12:29I think you've set a new record.
12:31What do you mean?
12:32This is the only pub next to a pickle factory that's ever gone bankrupt.
12:36Bloody hell, it's mild and bitter.
12:40Lily, Walter, thank you for coming here.
12:43Thank you for your kind parsonage.
12:45Oh, we're not stopping.
12:48I only came in to ask a little favour.
12:50Oh, well, if you want to loan, you're too late, it's lent.
12:54You know, well, I was wondering if, well,
12:57if Walter could use the smallest room in your backyard.
13:00He's got a flaming nerve.
13:01I know where he's been since opening time.
13:03Up in Queen's Arms, up the street.
13:05Hey, Nelly, doing marvellous business.
13:07They've pinched all your trade.
13:08How do you know?
13:09I were in there myself until me bloody money ran out.
13:13No, he has been in there and he wants to get back again.
13:16Well, what the hell's he doing here, then?
13:18Well, I'm just trying to tell you, he can't go there.
13:21Oh.
13:24If you come clean, what you mean is he hasn't been.
13:28Well, you see, it's very crowded in the Queen's Arms
13:31and we're frightened to let him go there in case he got knocked over.
13:36What you mean is they're doing such good business
13:38there isn't a dry seat in the house.
13:41Me own family.
13:43It's an act of lechery.
13:45And you, Walter, where's he gone?
13:48That's bad manners to out like that.
13:50It'd have been worse manners if he'd have stayed.
13:54Oh, how am I going to get those customers back?
13:57Oh, I'd go to any lengths.
14:00Nelly, do you mean that, go to any lengths?
14:03Well, as long as it was honourable, decent and, you know, pure.
14:08Why don't you get a stripper in?
14:10Oh, yes, I could. What do you mean?
14:12Well, you know, those that prance about with nothing on,
14:15doing the Dance of the Seven Veils.
14:18We might get one that does the Dance of the Seven Beer Mats.
14:22All the pubs are at it now, you know, they have lunchtime sessions.
14:25You mean they start sitting there watching that
14:27and then they go home and eat their dinner?
14:31Well, it makes them hungry.
14:33Better still, it makes them thirsty.
14:36They can't stop their tongues hanging out.
14:39Well, we're going to get one.
14:41I mean, you have to rent one, don't you?
14:44And we've got no money.
14:46Well, I don't know, the customers that come in here
14:49will be satisfied with any old boiler.
14:51I agree.
14:52So how are you fixed?
14:55I'm no Gypsy Rosie O'Grady.
14:58I'm not standing there bare, so there.
15:03Well, it's you that chucked the customers out.
15:06Yes, well, I'm not getting them off to get them in.
15:10I didn't think you would, somehow.
15:12I mean, when you go to the laundrette to do your smalls,
15:14you haven't blacked out material or that washing machine window.
15:17I'm not having any Harry, Tom or Dick
15:20looking at my bloomers whizzing round.
15:23Well, I don't know if you get to do it.
15:25No, they don't.
15:29No, no, no.
15:31I don't know.
15:34You won't.
15:36Don't forget that when I went to dancing classes over at Co-op Hall,
15:39I got me bronze in free movement.
15:43Oh, come off it, Lily.
15:45We want a sex kit, not a bloody mangy moggy.
15:49Well, for that he liked, I wouldn't do it now to save your life.
15:53I don't know, who are we going to get them?
16:00Of course.
16:02They've been staring us in the face all the time.
16:06Oh, come on.
16:11Come on.
16:13Come on, Beryl, we've been closed 15 minutes,
16:15you haven't got your cardigan off yet.
16:17I can't.
16:19I can't bring myself to do it, not with them sat there.
16:22Look, our Eli's only dragged this lot in here
16:25so he could have a live audience.
16:28Well, an audience, anyway.
16:31It's to get you in the mood, you know.
16:34Ah, get him off.
16:38Get him in.
16:41If you ask me, she hasn't got what it takes.
16:44Well, if she has, she's keeping it to herself.
16:48I reckon women who do things like that in public, you know,
16:51take away the mystery of it.
16:54You mean, to a man, a woman's body ought to be like a mystery to her?
16:58I don't know about that.
17:00But I think he shouldn't know where he's going until he's been.
17:08Not you, Walter, we know you've been.
17:12Come on, Beryl, let's try it again.
17:15Oh, Nelly, will you play something different this time?
17:18We'll never get her in the mood if you keep playing on with Christian soldiers.
17:24Let's see now.
17:26Not that, no. What about that?
17:28No, ah, what about this?
17:32When you hear me call you...
17:43...call you...
17:50You'll have the bloody answers here in a minute.
17:54There's no pleasing you at all.
17:57Sam, put that record on. Get that old record on.
18:00Now, Beryl, no, don't put your coat back on.
18:02It's taken me three hours to get it on.
18:05It's an old play, all right.
18:08Watch me, Beryl, watch me.
18:16Ready?
18:27Well, the record's stuck your nit.
18:33Hey, your Eli's not bad at it.
18:38How do you know?
18:40No, I mean...
18:41Oh, I see.
18:43Well, he should be. He's been all over the world, you know.
18:47And lots of other places as well.
18:50Well, then, why don't you get him to do it?
18:53What, you mean dress him up like that Danny LaRue-ed?
18:58No.
19:11Oh!
19:20Oh, very good, sir.
19:23Now, for an encore, I'd like all your names and addresses.
19:28What for?
19:29Have you anything to say about being on licensed premises after time?
19:32Yes, we have, officer.
19:33What?
19:34Would you like a drink?
19:36Should have said that, you silly thing. You've got us worse.
19:38Excuse me. I'll be able to explain, officer.
19:43You see, what happened was,
19:46he wanted her to do it for him.
19:51But he didn't want her to do it for them.
19:56So he tried to make her do it
20:00for anybody who might be around at the time, you see.
20:04Oh, hell.
20:05Well, I think that's helped a lot, Mallory.
20:08There's just one thing now you can do
20:10to get yourself out of trouble with the police.
20:12What's that?
20:13Plead bloody insanity.
20:16You and your big ideas
20:19about making Beryl into a neurotic dancer.
20:23It was a good thing the magistrates only bent us over.
20:29Bound us over.
20:31Well, you were bent over, all right, when you were knelt kneeling,
20:34asking for mercy.
20:36And that was only to the commissioner.
20:39You've got a friendly nerve, you have.
20:41If you hadn't tried to get customers at Spread Eagle to go on wagon,
20:44we wouldn't have finished up with Black Mariah.
20:46Oh, that Mr Ramsden.
20:48What am I going to do about him losing all his customers?
20:53What's he going to say?
20:55PHONE RINGS
20:56Hello?
20:57Well, now's your chance to find out.
20:59Hey, look, it's Ramsden.
21:01Oh.
21:03Hello, Mr Ramsden.
21:05Did you enjoy your funeral?
21:08What?
21:09No, no, I don't.
21:11No, I've got no idea, Mr Ramsden, no, I haven't.
21:13No, I could... I've now realised I could.
21:16Yes.
21:17No, yes.
21:18Well, I don't know...
21:19Yes, Mr Ramsden.
21:21No, Mr Ramsden.
21:23Goodbye, Mr Ramsden.
21:26That was Mr Ramsden.
21:30Well, come on.
21:31What did he say?
21:32Is he going to sue you for turning this pub into a disaster area?
21:35No, he isn't.
21:37And it didn't.
21:38No, it must be crowded out.
21:40I couldn't hear anything he was saying, hardly.
21:42For the rattle of glasses, you know.
21:44And him shouting,
21:45GET HIM OFF, GET HIM OFF!
21:47He was shouting,
21:48GET HIM OFF, to old Ramsden?
21:50No, that was to Big Beryl.
21:52She was doing a striptease.
21:53Place was packed.
21:55I don't believe it.
21:56We couldn't even get her to take a false eyelash off for us.
21:59Oh, well, I see.
22:01He appealed to her better nature.
22:03He offered her money.
22:05Well, she always had her principles, that girl, you know.
22:08I must try and get down there tonight and catch the show.
22:11It's no use. Police have stepped in.
22:13They've stopped Big Beryl doing it.
22:14Oh, no.
22:15They want Big Beryl to do a striptease for the police stag night, you see.
22:20That's what Mr Ramsden was phoning about, you see.
22:23He wants a replacement.
22:25He's crackers. He'll never get a replacement at this late date.
22:28Well, he said,
22:30if we get him a replacement,
22:32he'll wipe your slate clean.
22:35Hey.
22:36And if we don't get him a replacement...
22:38He'll wipe the floor with us.
22:41What are we going to do?
22:42I'll tell you what we're going to do.
22:43Emigrate. Leave the country.
22:45With the following whim, we can be in Isle of Man by midnight.
22:47Come on.
22:49Just a minute. Just a minute.
22:50If Mr Ramsden wants a replacement,
22:53he shall have a replacement.
22:56How?
22:57Leave it to little Nellie.
22:59Okay.
23:05Yoo-hoo.
23:06Mr Ramsden.
23:08I've got your replacement.
23:10Oh? Well, where is she?
23:12Here she is.
23:13Direct from her abdominal success
23:16in the starlight room in Gas Street.
23:20Mademoiselle Fifi La Froufrou.
23:30Hello.
23:35Well.
23:38Pleased to meet you.
23:40Not too close.
23:41This lady was brought up in a convent.
23:46Kindly do not squeeze the fruit
23:49unless you intend to buy.
23:51If she performs as good as she looks, I'm buying.
23:55Well, if you'll go in the concert room,
23:57Mademoiselle will show you all she's got.
23:59I mean, all she has to offer.
24:03Voulez-vous entrez-vous into the concert room,
24:08Froufrou?
24:10Merci.
24:13Oh, no. This way.
24:15That's right.
24:18What have you done?
24:19Well, I couldn't help it.
24:20Get off me.
25:28Oh, well, that's how it all happens.
25:32Well, you see, I've never done it before.
25:34You're doing fine.
25:36You've got a lovely touch.
25:38Oh, you're always saying that.
25:42Well, that was great, Nelly.
25:44You're a natural.
25:46Well, I'd best be off.
25:48Goodbye.
25:49Goodbye.
25:50Goodbye.
25:51Goodbye.
25:52Goodbye.
25:53Goodbye.
25:54Goodbye.
25:55You're a natural.
25:56Well, I'd best be off.
25:58Yes, well, I won't forget what you told me
26:00when you had me behind there.
26:02Right.
26:03And I'll see you in about a week.
26:05And I don't know how to thank you enough
26:06for taking charge here while I'm away.
26:08Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed.
26:11And if we don't, we may never pass this way again.
26:15You never spoke a truer word.
26:19Ta-ra, then.
26:20Ta-ra, then.
26:22I'll just have a practice pull before we open.
26:27Let's see.
26:30Oh!
26:31Oh!
26:36I'm sorry.
26:37I'm sorry.
26:38I didn't know you were stood standing behind me,
26:40you know, getting an eyeball.
26:42I've got an eyeball.
26:43I can't look at me.
26:44Oh, yes.
26:45Well, I'll soon get an up.
26:46Perhaps I'd better have two.
26:48What are you doing?
26:50Oh, do you know,
26:51I just can't think why the landlord asked you
26:53to take care of the spread eagle for him while he was away.
26:56I mean, why didn't he let me take charge?
26:58Well, I'm sure he's casting no nasturtiums on you, you know, Beryl.
27:02But, I mean, he just didn't want anybody
27:04to get their fingers trapped in the till.
27:06Oh, meaning that I would.
27:08Well, I mean, you must admit, Beryl,
27:11you'd have to be careful not to get anything trapped in the till.
27:16I'll just go and change this wet blouse.
27:18Yes.
27:19I'd better mop this floor up.
27:22It's so nice to go travelling
27:25In Blackburn, Burnley and Cone
27:28It's so nice to go travelling
27:31Ah, where's Big Beryl,
27:32who won first prize in the Barmaid of the Year competition?
27:35Ah, that's my Beryl.
27:37I'd recognise that welcoming smile anywhere.
27:41Come on, Beryl, you know that answer.