Veep Season 5 Episode 2 Nev-AD-A
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00:00Hello. Okay, what's happening, Amy?
00:12Morning, Madam President. It's 5 a.m. and, uh...
00:16Hello? What?
00:17Your dad is still asleep? Well, wake the fuck up, because I'm wondering
00:21if we should remove the Native American precincts from the recount list. I'm having reservations
00:25about the reservations. So figure that out and call me right back. I'm at Walter Reed.
00:29I'm meeting troops and shaking God-only-knows-what. Okay.
00:53These are from the President's last set of precinct changes for the recount challenge?
00:56Yes, and the changes before that, and the changes before that. I mean, she's changed
01:00her mind more times than a frickin' child molester at Disneyland.
01:03You need to file those at the courthouse in exactly 17 minutes.
01:05Yeah, and if you miss the deadline, find a rattlesnake and shove that up your dickhole
01:08just because it's a lot more fun than what I'll do to you. And drive safe.
01:13We got Hallows, Bennett, and Gabby Ramos doing press in Carson City, and Maddox is flying
01:19in tonight. Oh, God. Maddox is probably going to study
01:21the effects of legalized prostitution on his dick.
01:25Catherine, out. All right, so, do we have any idea what this
01:29O'Brien press conference is about? No idea.
01:32Perfect. We're working on our video connection with
01:34Amy as we speak. Well, maybe we can get some six-year-old
01:37Asian kid to fix it. Mike, when's your baby coming?
01:41Coming soon, ma'am. We're going to name her Ellen after Wendy's mom. Actually, her step-mom.
01:46She has a difficult relation. Misunderstood your level of interest. Sorry.
01:50Hey, guys. Watching the press conference? Yeah. Amy, just listen a bit before you start
01:56talking. Our founding fathers...
01:59All right, here we go. ...entrusted the American people with the
02:02right to choose... I mean, will you look at Montez? Seriously,
02:06I'm more Hispanic than she is. You know, where's she from? Santo, Connecticut?
02:10She summers in Viñardo del Marta. Can Montez look less Hispanic? Jesus, Amy,
02:15we already covered that, okay? She's from Elle, New Hampshire.
02:20James Whitman to head up our recount team. Jesus, they got James Whitman.
02:27This is not optimal. Where I'm from, a vote is a vote,
02:31the law is the law, and the count is the count. Yeah, he makes a lot of sense.
02:35All right, so they've got a secretary of state, and what do I have? Harpo, Chico, and Shido.
02:40You know who we need? Who? Who do we need?
02:42Bob Bradley, my old mentor. Oh.
02:44The Eagle. Oh, that'd be amazing.
02:46Served in more administrations than any man alive, also an accomplished ballroom dancer.
02:51Okay, great, done, let's get him. Bob Bradley, he's our Whitman-Hitman.
02:55Madam President, excuse me, I have a meeting with the Nevada Secretary of State.
02:59Oh, Amy, don't forget to bring Richard with you.
03:01Wait, really, Richard? He's...
03:04Ma'am, the DOD wants us to know that now the Chinese hackers have breached
03:08White House employee files. Maybe they can find out what some of
03:11these people are doing. Ooh, tell me about it.
03:13Oh, and you have a drop-by at a brunch to thank campaign volunteers.
03:17To thank them for what? This Olympic-sized swimming pool of shit
03:21that I'm doing the backstroke in right now? Not a good idea to cancel, ma'am.
03:25Make Tom do it. He loves all that fake smiley shit.
03:29Tom has his banking task force today. His what?
03:32It's a veritable who's who of Wall Street. Well, that sounds a lot sexier than my thing.
03:37Tell Tom, then I get dibs on that. It's my presidential banking task force now.
03:42Well, Tom is not gonna be happy about that. Well, good.
03:45That's the way I like it. Welcome to yours.
03:48The president will be there shaking hands and thanking some of the volunteers for their hard
03:52work at some point in the near future. I'll get back.
03:57Oh, no breakfast for this guy. Who's offering?
04:00You are looking at a guy on the master cleanse. I feel amazing.
04:04What in the lunatic fuck is the master cleanse? Sounds like Nazi domestic policy.
04:10Little known fact about the Nazis. They're polling numbers within Germany
04:15through the roof. Unbelievable numbers, though also tragic.
04:19Well, Jewish Dunlop could have been that good. Yep. I don't eat food anymore.
04:23Just water, maple syrup, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper.
04:28You still take shit? Not exactly take.
04:34Welcome to Nevada. Everybody settle in. Make yourselves comfortable.
04:38Members of the Meyer James and O'Brien Montez campaign, let's talk ground rules.
04:43According to Nevada law, if the recount sample shows a difference of one percent or more,
04:49which in this case comes to 512 votes, we go ahead and recount the whole state.
04:55Now, most of the voting here is touchscreen, so we can't do more than retabulate those totals.
05:00Except you could recount the voter verified paper audit trails.
05:04Sometimes there are big discrepancies. Sir, in that case, we most know-
05:07On the other hand, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in Crowley v. Nevada
05:11that you don't have to recount the paper audit trails in local elections.
05:15That's Crowley versus Nevada. That's Crowley. Actually, you know what?
05:18I can email you. Or, you know, you could email me at splat2 at splatnet.net.
05:23Splat one's my father. I mean, it'll be sad to see him go,
05:25but it'll be nice to get my hands on that handle, you know?
05:27Hi. Hi, Eugene.
05:29How are you? Very high in the Meyer campaign.
05:32I'm very optimistic at this point. Thank you very much.
05:33I didn't quite catch all your questions. We had a pretty big setback in there.
05:37We have to go very late for another appointment. Thank you very much, everybody.
05:40What is wrong with you, you Paddington Bear-looking fuck?
05:43You just gave them a timelike instruction manual on how to fuck us.
05:46You guys have Michael Jordan sitting on the bench here,
05:49but you're starting Hakeem Elijah twat.
05:52You are not Michael Jordan.
05:54You are a seven-foot-seven goonie-looking Lithuanian
05:56who's going to drop dead of Marfan syndrome. Get your ass to the car.
06:00The eagle's landed. Yes, he has.
06:02Yes, he has. Madam President.
06:04Yes. This is truly an honor to serve you.
06:07Well, thank you very much.
06:08Plus, I would never miss the opportunity to dry-fuck Jim Whitman up the ass.
06:15Catherine out.
06:17Oh, Bob, I need to introduce you to Amy Brookheimer and her team in Nevada right here.
06:21Nice to meet you, Mr. Bradley. It's an honor.
06:24How many lawyers you got on the ground in Carson City?
06:26I believe it's roughly...
06:27I want you to double it by the end of the day.
06:29Now, let's talk about the actual recount.
06:32I noticed something funny about the mail-in ballots.
06:34All right, let's hear it. Affirmative action, Jackson.
06:37Well, the county clerk of Nye County disqualified a huge number of mail-in ballots
06:41because the signatures didn't match the voter rolls.
06:44So I checked, and he's an O'Brien fundraiser.
06:47He probably chucked out a ton of mire votes.
06:49Why aren't you moving on this, Blondie?
06:52Right. Amy, come on. Get it together. My God in heaven.
06:56We will get right on it, ma'am, sir.
06:58Bob, what do you think? Are we going to win this thing?
07:01I mean, really, honestly, your true gut.
07:04Well, Madam President, I've got big balls, but neither one of them are crystal.
07:08Oh, darn it.
07:09This reminds me of something that Dick Nixon used to say to Henry Kissinger
07:13back when that tricky son of a bitch
07:15was trying to get us out of that messy business called Vietnam.
07:18Vietnam, right.
07:19He would say, Henry, you son of a bitch,
07:22I can lead a horse to the water, but I can't milk it.
07:24Can't milk it? I don't even know what that means. I love it.
07:31I've got to make a million phone calls, so you'll have to excuse me.
07:35All right.
07:35Goodbye, everyone.
07:36Goodbye.
07:38We got our guy.
07:39Hey, Bob.
07:40Yeah.
07:40You don't remember me. I was an intern way back when you...
07:44Of course I remember you.
07:46Looky here. Ben Cafferty, all grown up.
07:50We used to have a million nicknames for this guy.
07:52We called him Fatty Dicksuckle and Benny and the Jizz.
07:58Buttfucker.
07:59Buttfucker. That's me.
08:01I can't believe you remember my nickname.
08:05Oh, good old Sue.
08:08You're still here. My, oh, my.
08:12Still here? He's been working the White House since the late 80s.
08:17How old is Sue?
08:20Well, that's clearly a vote for Meyer.
08:23It says her name right there. It's a write-in.
08:24It says fuck Selena Meyer.
08:26If anything, that one should count for us.
08:28Move to call this a no vote.
08:30No, no, no, no, no. See, right there.
08:33See that? Yeah, that's a comma.
08:34Where?
08:35Okay. After fuck, that is a comma.
08:37So it doesn't say fuck Selena Meyer.
08:38It says, you know, fuck Selena Meyer.
08:41That's a testament to this voter's earthy,
08:44but unambiguous enthusiasm for President Meyer.
08:47Absolutely.
08:52Vote for Meyer.
08:53Yes.
08:57Madam President.
08:58Yes, Mr. Economy Czar.
09:01Welcome to your banking task force.
09:04Great idea of yours.
09:06Yeah, it is, isn't it?
09:07I'm looking forward to hearing what my next great idea is going to be.
09:09You know, I'm glad that you were able to turn my actual policy meeting
09:12into a meaningless photo op.
09:14I'm sure the Dow is rocketing skywards as we speak.
09:17Don't you have a volunteer's brunch or something to get to?
09:21I think you do, and I have to tell you,
09:24it is a pleasure to watch those people eat.
09:27Madam President.
09:28Yeah, take it easy.
09:32Wow.
09:32Wow, wow.
09:33I know.
09:37Boss boots, boss.
09:38Oh, thanks. Yeah, check those out.
09:40Genuine crocodile skin.
09:41Yeah, I'm going to be pulling down
09:43Clint Eastwood cowboy movie style pussy in these things.
09:46Except I'm not the man with no name.
09:47I'm the man with no game.
09:52Good afternoon, sir.
09:53We're here because your ballot was disqualified
09:56because your signature didn't match.
09:58Okay, well, fooled with that one.
10:00Good job, team.
10:01Yeah, nice job, Richard.
10:03It's not how I would have done it if I was in charge.
10:05Uh, well, how would you have done it?
10:06I don't know. I can't teach how I do it.
10:09Can Paul McCartney teach kid rock how to be a good songwriter?
10:13I mean, that's a bad example. Kid rock rules, but...
10:19Hey, ma'am, this is Charlie Barrett, CEO of E.M. Wheelwright.
10:21Hello, Madam President.
10:23You're Charlie Barrett.
10:23I am. Good to see you.
10:24Good to see you, too. Thanks for coming today.
10:26My pleasure. I thought this was going to be two hours of Tom James
10:29lecturing us about being paid too much.
10:32Well, Tom can be, dare I say...
10:35A bit of an asshat.
10:37Actually, I was going to say a champion for the middle class,
10:40but I kind of like your thing better, to tell you the truth.
10:43Ma'am, this is Phillip Ryan. He's the chairman.
10:45Can you hang on just two seconds?
10:47Of course.
10:47Yeah. So let me ask you this.
10:49What in the heck's going on with the markets?
10:52I don't know.
10:52Oh, great.
10:53I do know that yesterday morning, this room felt about $25 billion smarter.
10:58Yeah. I think that's what all of you donated to my opponent, right?
11:03Full disclosure, I did donate to your campaign as well.
11:06Two grand?
11:07Where'd you find that? Your sofa seat cushion?
11:10I think it was in my other pants, Madam President.
11:12Hey, ma'am.
11:13Good. Nice to have you here.
11:14This is Eli Park. He's the CEO of C.E.M. Capital.
11:18Oh, hello, Eli.
11:20Madam President.
11:21Yes. How is Susan?
11:23She's divorced.
11:24Not in jail for what she did to you.
11:28Honestly, it is an outrage.
11:29But I'm happy you're here, and I think we've got to get this meeting going, don't we?
11:33Yeah. Yeah, sir.
11:34Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you.
11:36Thank you, Madam President.
11:36Oh, thank you very much. Oh, Jesus Christ.
11:41Don't worry about it, Eli.
11:42Brooks Brothers sews pre-nups into all our suits.
11:45Oh, are you divorced?
11:47Oh, yeah. Proudly.
11:48Yeah. Best thing me and my husband ever did, including our daughter.
11:52Hey, listen. I heard you on Bloomberg talking about my financial acumen,
11:58and I have to say, you were wildly out of line.
12:02Well, most of that's just for show.
12:04Uh-huh.
12:05But with all due respect, Madam President,
12:08some of your economic policies are what my friend Katie Gross likes to call focaccia.
12:14Katie Gross? You know Katie Gross? I went to Smith with Katie Gross.
12:17I dated Katie Gross.
12:19Yes, so did I. Because I was at Smith.
12:21No. Oh, it's the Smiths.
12:22This is Elizabeth Morehouse.
12:24Oh, hi. How are you?
12:26I'm well, thank you.
12:27Thank you for coming today.
12:28My pleasure, Madam President.
12:30I hope you can talk some sense into the Fed.
12:32We clearly—
12:32Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt.
12:34Madam President, Katie says to tell you, Hubbard forever.
12:38She didn't.
12:39She did.
12:40She didn't. That's hilarious.
12:41That was our dorm, and it was repulsive.
12:45You know Katie Gross?
12:46It sounds familiar.
12:47I bet your paths have crossed.
12:49His second signature was when Carl had his stroke.
12:53Oh, that's fantastic.
12:54I mean, well, fantastic for us, because it means that his vote for Cousin Meyer is legitimate.
12:59Could he testify to that?
13:01I'm sorry. He's passed.
13:03Sorry. You know, you should read C.S. Lewis's book on grief.
13:05It's not as fun as the Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe series, but it's still pretty good.
13:09Ma'am, hi.
13:10Jonah Ryan, senior deputy recount strategist for the Meyer campaign.
13:14Would it be all right if we waited for your husband inside?
13:17I think I have a small blister.
13:18Sorry.
13:19A lavish shalom.
13:22Hebrew.
13:23Maybe you should put on your regular shoes for a little bit?
13:26You know what? I am sick of your micromanaging bullshit.
13:30But if you insist, yes, I will stop by the hotel.
13:34Yeah, we can do that.
13:35It's a two-minute walk.
13:37Oh, sorry, two miles.
13:39So.
13:43Well, well, well, if it isn't TV's Ellen DeGeneres,
13:46and, of course, Amy Bruckheimer.
13:49Congressman Furlong, to what do we owe this pleasure-slash-skin-crawling sensation?
13:53Well, I just came out west to play a little Cowboys and Injuns with
13:57Big Chief Suck'em Chode here.
13:59Say it.
14:00Uh.
14:02How.
14:03Me suck pee-pee in tee-pee.
14:08Attagirl.
14:09Actually, Bob Bradley asked me to come out here and dazzle some of these armadillo fuckers
14:13with my political star power.
14:15Step aside, roadkill.
14:17Big rig coming through.
14:18Hi, Amy.
14:19Dan.
14:21That is not an overvote.
14:23The voter crossed out O'Brien's name and voted for Meyer.
14:26That is a vote for Meyer.
14:28Move to rule it an overvote.
14:30Hey, Grimace.
14:31What are you?
14:32No, no, no, no, not you.
14:34The other person in the room who looks exactly like Grimace.
14:38That is not an overvote.
14:39You need to trust me on this because I've been doing this
14:41since before your mother was throwing herself down the stairs belly first.
14:44You want me to get you some glasses?
14:46Maybe I'll call in Mayor McCheese.
14:48He can come in here and explain election procedures to you.
14:52How?
14:53I'm not.
14:54Tracy.
14:55Look, it's, you're wearing purple, all right?
14:57It's got nothing to do with your body shape or your,
15:00the way your head goes into your shoulders so smoothly.
15:03Hey, you know, we have, we have to get to your next meeting at the, uh.
15:06That's right.
15:06We're gonna get to the.
15:07God bless you.
15:08God bless America.
15:10When you're ready, we would like to vigorously contest your ruling.
15:15Uh, ma'am, I have photos to approve from the banking task force
15:18and you have a meeting with Olympic medalists in five.
15:22Special or normal?
15:23Well, they seem normal, but I'll confirm.
15:25Okay.
15:26So, uh, you catch your godfather on TV last night?
15:31No.
15:31There was nothing like seeing it in the theater when it first came out.
15:36Back in 72.
15:37I don't care for movies.
15:42You've truly brought honor to America with your kayaking.
15:46So congratulations on your gold medal.
15:49It's bronze.
15:51Oh, oh, bronze medal.
15:53Do we get it?
15:54Oh, and thank you for this.
15:55I can't wait to try it out on the Potomac.
15:58All right, guys, we're this way.
15:59Okay, great.
16:00Great, great, great.
16:01Okay.
16:02How the fuck am I supposed to do with this?
16:04Be nice for your library.
16:05What?
16:06Catherine?
16:07Out.
16:09So, what's the press saying about our banking task force?
16:12They opened wide and slurped it down, ma'am.
16:15You know what I was thinking?
16:17Um, I was thinking that I would like to do another banking task force.
16:21I bet we could get Pallenberg at Barclays.
16:23No problem, ma'am.
16:24No, you know who had a lot to say was that guy from Wheelwright, Charlie, uh, Baird?
16:31Really?
16:32Uh-huh.
16:32Ma'am, um, I don't think right now would be the best time for another banking task force.
16:41No, I just, I just want to have a quick banking task force.
16:44Uh, with all due respect, ma'am, you know, the banks will still be, you know,
16:49raring to go for a task force, you know, when you're safely re-elected.
16:55I'm human, okay?
16:56I just, I just sometimes need a little
17:00banking task force.
17:02Well, ma'am, if you want, I can arrange a more discreet banking task force.
17:06I don't want that kind of banking task force.
17:08I want the banking task force that I want.
17:10What about Patti Driscoll from Deutsche Bank?
17:13She's very good.
17:13Might be nice to throw a woman in the mix.
17:15Ma'am, uh, Amy's on video conference.
17:19Amy, what is it?
17:21Can you see me?
17:22Yeah.
17:23I can't see you.
17:24Am I on your screen?
17:25Who cares if you can't see me?
17:26And we're not looking at each other's hairdos.
17:28What's going on?
17:29What's going on in Nevada?
17:30Cantor, you're sitting on a bomb.
17:32Ma'am, where are you?
17:34Amy, ah, there you are.
17:36Tracing totals have been reported.
17:37We got votes.
17:40Wait, you just went out.
17:41What did you just say?
17:42We got votes.
17:44How many votes did we get?
17:46Let me try a landline.
17:47I'm losing my mind.
17:49We got it.
17:50We got it.
17:50512 votes.
17:51Full state recount is a go.
17:53Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
17:55Fucking recount!
17:57Oh, my God.
17:58Is this favorable news?
17:59Oh, my God.
18:00This is my house.
18:02This is my house.
18:04Hey, guys.
18:05Listen up.
18:05OK, tracing totals have been reported, and we got votes.
18:08We'll just hang up on her.
18:10Hey, wait.
18:10Where is Catherine?
18:11She should be getting this for a little movie.
18:13I'm feeling lightheaded.
18:14My bottle's my only source of blood sugar.
18:16OK, Gary, I want to get Charlie Baird in for another meeting.
18:19You want me to invite some other people?
18:21No, no, just him.
18:22Oh, just him?
18:24Yep.
18:24Here's your stupid bottle.
18:26Stop with the kabuki show.
18:27I need a fucking cookie.
18:29Uh, Mike, remind me again the science behind this.
18:39Now I feel great.
18:42You guys have got to try this.
18:45We need surrogates for the Sunday talk show, so.
18:47Right.
18:48Chung will do it.
18:49Chung would volunteer for a beheading video to get national air time.
18:53I'd actually like to see that.
18:54Ma'am, Tom James is here.
18:56San's appointment.
18:58Can you go tell him to fuck a bag of glass or something?
19:01Actually, I told him something similar to that, but he's most insistent.
19:05Oh, OK.
19:06Send him in.
19:07Hey, there.
19:08This is an unexpected pleasure.
19:10Uh, no, no, no, guys.
19:12I want you to hear this.
19:14Ma'am, on reflection, I totally understand why you needed to take the lead on
19:19the banking task force.
19:21And I am ready to do whatever I need to do to help the team.
19:25So economies are, kids' birthday parties, reflecting pool boy.
19:30Just don't ask me to be the United Nations ambassador, because I still have some pride.
19:38Wanted to say that, and I'll leave you guys alone.
19:40Thank you so much.
19:41Oh, great.
19:42Thanks.
19:43Good to see you.
19:44Oh, by the way, I just polished the floor in the Eisenhower rooms.
19:47Tom, stop.
19:48Be careful in there.
19:48All right.
19:50Huh?
19:51That was something.
19:52Why did Tom James just wrap up his balls in butcher paper and put them in my purse?
19:56Because he thinks you're going to win Nevada.
20:00Tom thinks I'm going to win Nevada?
20:02Nevada.
20:03He's the smartest guy in D.C., you know that?
20:05He's a lot smarter than you, dummy.
20:07Seriously, if Tom thinks I'm going to win Nevada, I'm going to win.
20:12Ma'am, Charlie Baird is here.
20:16Hey, I'm going to be president.
20:18So I can go take a shit in the Rose Garden if I want to.
20:22We used to call that a Jimmy Carter.
20:25Charlie Baird.
20:26Madam President, what a lovely surprise.
20:29Oh, thank you.
20:31I thought my $2,000 donation only entitled me to a photo.
20:34How are you?
20:35I am good.
20:36I am energized.
20:37So, you know, you made an interesting point earlier today about the bond market.
20:41But you know what?
20:42Before we do that, would you like to go on a tour of the West Wing?
20:46Would that be fun?
20:46Sure.
20:46I'm sorry.
20:47I don't know if you have time for that, ma'am.
20:49Yeah, I have time.
20:50Okay.
20:50Yeah, okay.
20:51I'll warn you, I had a pretty comprehensive White House tour on my fifth grade class trip.
20:55I actually know a lot about West Wing history, if you'd like to...
21:00I feel like that guy doesn't like me very much.
21:02Who?
21:02Gary?
21:03Yeah.
21:03Come on, that's like saying the cat doesn't like you or that table doesn't like you.
21:07Okay, now, there's this Rockwell down here that is so stunning.
21:11And I swear to God, if I lose this fucking election,
21:14I'm going to stick him in my suitcase and I'm taking it with me.
21:17Love Rockwell.
21:17Yeah.
21:18I have a bunch of Rockwells.
21:20You do?
21:21Yeah.
21:21You're kidding.
21:22No.
21:23Where are they?
21:24Uh, some, uh, beach house.
21:27Not sure which beach.
21:29You are wild.
21:31In another person, it would be bragging.
21:32But with you, it's something different.
21:34Oh, wait a minute, I gotta show you this.
21:37Okay, see this closet?
21:39I don't know if you've heard about this, but this is the actual closet where Warren Harding
21:45fathered a child with his teenage mistress.
21:48They, uh, left that off our fifth grade tour.
21:53Did they show you the residence?
21:56Nope.
21:58Uh, you want to see the residence?
22:01Uh, yeah.
22:03Okay.
22:06Fuck today.
22:08Now, was that a vote in favor of today?
22:09Oh, that was a fuck comma today.
22:12Yes!
22:15Shh.
22:16Oh.
22:18I didn't, yeah, this is me.
22:19Yeah, this is, this is me.
22:21Uh.
22:22Okay, good night.
22:23Good night.
22:23Yeah.
22:24Goddammit, come on.
22:26Jesus Christ.
22:28I, I had to get this key card changed twice because it's like I...
22:32Okay, allow me.
22:40Oh.
22:41Hi, Amy.
22:42You didn't tell me faggy hair was here.
22:45Sophie, it's in your ears.
22:47How are your illegitimate children?
22:50I asked my sister to send me a change of clothes,
22:53and apparently she's decided to bring them herself.
22:56Uh-huh.
22:56Your hotel room sucks.
22:58I thought that Carson City was like part of Las Vegas.
23:01Vegas is 432 miles away.
23:03So, sorry I'm not aware everything is, nerd.
23:06Were you two just about to bone?
23:08Okay, well, uh, you enjoy all that.
23:13I'm gonna...
23:14Oh, no, no, no, no.
23:15What happens in Vegas, it stays in Vegas.
23:18We're not in Vegas.
23:21You know, I hardly ever did that with President Hughes.
23:24And even when we did, I was just kind of going through the motions.
23:27Oh, thank you very much.
23:28That's very flattering.
23:30Maybe we can...
23:31All right, we gotta get you out of here.
23:33All right.
23:34I'm gonna call Gary and get him to take you to Southeast Gate.
23:37Can you send Gary up here, please?
23:39Yeah, thank you.
23:40I really did have a great time.
23:42Yeah, I did too.
23:43I mean, I'm just saying I'm not that kind of a president.
23:46Got it.
23:47Yeah.
23:47Do you know where my shoes are?
23:49Uh, I think we started in there.
23:51Yes, they're here.
23:52Yeah.
23:54Come in.
23:57Okay, let's go.
23:58You must be Gary.
23:59We haven't officially met.
24:01I'm Charlie Baird.
24:04Uh, nice to meet you.
24:05Yeah, where are you from?
24:08Uh, Birmingham, Alabama.
24:10Yeah.
24:10Underrated city.
24:13You're telling me.
24:14You're telling me.
24:16They call it the Pittsburgh of the South.
24:19You come from a big family, do you?
24:20I do come from a big family.
24:22I do, I do, I do.
24:24It's actually just me.
24:25I'm an only child.
24:27Oh, Gary.
24:28Can you take Mr. Baird to the Southeast Gate, please?
24:32Oh, so soon?
24:33But what I want to know, Bob, is do we put a full recount team in all the rural precincts,
24:38or do we just focus on Reno and Vegas?
24:41Well, what you have here is a classic two fires, one glove situation.
24:46And you need to know which hand to put the glove on.
24:48That's exactly right.
24:50Exactly.
24:50You know, as much as it pains me to leave your company, Madam President,
24:54I've got to catch a flight to Nebraska.
24:56No, oh, wait a minute.
24:57You mean Nevada, Nevada.
25:00What did I say?
25:00You said Nebraska.
25:02Well, I'll get that one for you, too.
25:05Okay.
25:06Listen, safe travels, my friend.
25:09Gentlemen.
25:10Buttfucker.
25:12Bye, Bob.
25:13Oh, honestly, they don't make them like that anymore.
25:16From a different age.
25:17When giants walk these halls.
25:19Yes, indeed.
25:20Yeah, you have a drop by with a Canadian trade delegation in 30.
25:24Oh, I forgot.
25:25And FYI, Charlie Baird's on TV.
25:27What?
25:27You know, I was over in the East Wing,
25:29and I saw a painting of Sue holding George Washington's horse.
25:34Senator Bill O'Brien made remarks that offered...
25:37Catherine, I can't even begin.
25:39Out.
25:40Charlie Baird is a friend of mine.
25:42Charlie Baird is one of the great financial minds of our time,
25:47and would be an asset to any administration.
25:50You're kidding, huh?
25:51No.
25:53He fucked me, and then he fucked me?
25:55What is he trying to fuck me?
25:57I bet he's really sorry.
26:01Hey, ma'am.
26:02Charlie's here.
26:04He seems really sad.
26:07I always count to ten.
26:08Shut it.
26:13You went straight from here to O'Brien's hotel?
26:16Are you kidding me?
26:17Did you take a shower at least in between?
26:20It was just a preliminary meeting regarding his cabinet.
26:23Were you thinking about his cabinet while you were fucking me?
26:26Seriously.
26:27Were you fantasizing I had some sort of a goatee
26:29and was on the wait list for a liver?
26:30The O'Brien meeting was scheduled days before we even met.
26:34I didn't think it was a conflict of interest.
26:35You didn't think it was a conflict?
26:36First of all, he doesn't even have a cabinet.
26:39Look, if you win the election, it doesn't mean anything anyway.
26:42If O'Brien wins the election...
26:44Okay, let's hear what this is.
26:45You've slept with the Secretary of the Treasury.
26:48Oh, that's classy.
26:49This is over.
26:50Over? I didn't even know it was a thing.
26:52Absolutely not a thing.
26:53And if it was a thing, it's over.
26:55Yeah.
27:02How we doing?
27:03They're ready for you.
27:05Then let's get her done!
27:08Oh, where's my bottle? My bottle.
27:10Oh, is this it?
27:12Thanks, gotta keep the old blood sugar up.
27:20Good evening, everyone.
27:21Before you ask, there are no updates on Nevada.
27:24The President is laser-focused on the economy,
27:26so I'd be happy to address that.
27:29Can we expect a stimulus package?
27:32Yes, right now, all options are on the table.
27:39Including a stimulus package, which is on the table.
27:45Wayne.
27:46Why did the President bring Charlie Baird in again today
27:48after he met with the O'Brien camp?
27:51Charlie Baird?
27:54He's just came in for a meeting.
27:57Just a meeting.
27:59He's an advisor.
28:01Actually, not an advisor.
28:03Who?
28:06He...
28:07He's a Charlie Baird.
28:08Mike, what exactly is the nature of President Meyer's relationship with Charlie Baird?
28:13No more questions.
28:14I do have to go.
28:18It's like Charlie Baird's fucking the President.
28:21You know, I got my sister her own room.
28:24So it's just little old you in that big old room.
28:32I'm gonna go back to that room.
28:35See you later.
28:42Well, hello.
28:44Everybody here is so weird.
28:51The shit you do is such bullshit.
28:54Remind me again what it is that you do that's so interesting.
28:57I work at CBS.
29:02Really? CBS?
29:04I would love to work at CBS.
29:06Oh God, don't be a dick.
29:08No, I'm serious.
29:09There's always openings.
29:11Do you seriously think that you could get me something?
29:13Maybe late night?
29:15Late night's perfect.
29:17Do you want to get out of here?
29:20I have my own room.
29:24Uh, yeah.
29:25Cool, let's go.
29:26Yeah.
29:30Let's go.
29:31Yeah.
29:34And this is my number, and it just goes straight to me.
29:36You can call me any time of the day.
29:38I'm always here.
29:39Thank you, Birmingham.
29:40Okay.
29:42Mr. Baird!
29:43Can you confirm that you are dating President Meyer?
29:45When did you and the President first meet?
29:47How long, Mr. Baird?
29:48Are you dating the President?
29:49Have a lovely night.
30:20So,
30:4223 messages.
30:46The night camp.
30:49The night camp.