• 2 days ago
Veep Season 4 Episode 4 Tehran

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Transcript
00:00After successful visits to Jordan and Egypt, President Meyer's Middle East peace tour continues with her trip to Israel.
00:08You lose your job, you're radioactive for a while, that's just how it works.
00:12Yes, I am taking care of myself, Mother.
00:15No, I didn't send her a get well card, because you don't get a get well card when you have plastic surgery.
00:20I gotta go.
00:22Because I'm going for a run.
00:25Okay, bye.
00:27This is my stay in Israel for another day.
00:30So I may need to borrow some toothpaste.
00:50President Meyer has ended her ten day world tour with a surprise visit to Iran.
00:56Her historic meeting could signal an end to decades of mistrust.
01:00See that tour? I set that up.
01:03See that shelf? I made that.
01:06President Meyer may also secure the release of detained American reporter, Leon West.
01:13This trip is like a miracle. Where's the woman who changed world politics?
01:17She's taking a piss.
01:18No, she's freshening up.
01:19I'm so tired I could sleep a horse, or whatever that weird thing is.
01:24Wait, Ben, is this Ambien? How many of these have you taken?
01:27Look, I need to sleep. I got all jacked up on licorice last night and I was belly dancing till dawn.
01:33Is it time to get Leon yet?
01:34Oh, checking.
01:36Imagine, being detained for two weeks just because you're a journalist and a shithead.
01:41It's a good job we had nothing to do with his being detained.
01:44Yeah, wouldn't that be terrible?
01:46Wait, did we have something to do with it?
01:49Oh yeah, oh yeah, you better cheer for the president of the year.
01:56Hey, you know what you are?
01:57What?
01:58You're an amazing man.
02:00And you know what amazing men get?
02:01What?
02:02Two-day weekend.
02:03This weekend?
02:04Yeah.
02:05I'm going to the cottage with Wendy.
02:10Oh, they're detaining Leon for one more hour.
02:12Oh, God. We have to wait here another hour before we can fly out?
02:16You have to get a photo with Leon West, ma'am.
02:18It's the one and only time anyone's ever going to say that.
02:20Let's use the hour then, okay?
02:22Let's cure diabetes or learn Italian.
02:26Why don't you take a nap?
02:27Are you kidding?
02:28I'm never going to sleep again.
02:29I got to run around like a Labrador or a guy on fire or something like that.
02:33A ran, a ran.
02:35Isn't that amazing?
02:36I got to go to the bathroom again.
02:38I'll be right back.
02:39Wow, she's excited.
02:40She's fucking nuts.
02:42How are the folks on the press plane sober?
02:45They got to shake so bad.
02:47I think I see the plane rattling.
02:48Well, you got to tell them they got to stay another hour.
02:50An hour?
02:51These guys could be drinking jet fuel.
02:53Whoa, out of my way.
02:55It's false alarm.
02:56I don't know why.
02:57Hey, man, why don't I give you, like, a shoulder massage or something?
02:59It'll kind of help you unwind, defocus.
03:01No, I don't want to defocus.
03:02I'm all focused.
03:04I could, like, bang a nail into that wall with my gaze.
03:07You know what I mean?
03:08Are you having fun?
03:09Yes.
03:10Are you having fun?
03:11So much fun.
03:12What kind of wood is this table?
03:13I don't know. Let me check.
03:14I think it's ash.
03:15Uh-huh.
03:16I'm going to redo my kitchen.
03:17Hey, ma'am, you think you want to think about this right now?
03:19I mean, that's kind of a big...
03:20Yeah, sure.
03:21I mean, we've got time.
03:22We've got an hour.
03:23Do we?
03:24Okay.
03:25I'm going to get all new cabinets, and I want to match this,
03:26except I don't like these knots.
03:27Now that the president's tour has been extended by a day,
03:31the vice president will be picking up part of the president's schedule,
03:34starting with the Rainbow Jersey event,
03:37supporting all sexualities in sports,
03:39with NBA star Freddie Wallace.
03:42Yes.
03:43How do you respond to Senator O'Brien's comments
03:45that the American people need a president, not a Mayer-Tola?
03:49It's a cheap pun, so absolutely expect...
03:51Finishing sentences things.
03:53Irritating? Very.
03:55But sometimes necessary when people are being slow or dull.
03:58Yes?
03:59When's Mike back?
04:01Hilarious.
04:02Well done.
04:04No people skills, like a robot.
04:07Hmm.
04:11Guys, guys, sorry about the delay.
04:14Turns out the Iranians need everything in triplicate.
04:17Maybe that's because they invented numbers, huh?
04:19How's Leon doing?
04:20He's fine.
04:21They're releasing him any minute.
04:23Let's face it, he's probably going to get a book deal out of this.
04:26See that?
04:27Cat-like reflexes.
04:29Oh, and maybe don't start drinking
04:33until you're up in the air,
04:35out of courtesy to our host nation.
04:37Yes.
04:40Great chatting.
04:44Wow.
04:45Freddie Wallace.
04:46Hall of Famer.
04:48Mr. Gay NBA.
04:50In my family, basketball is a religion.
04:53Also Catholicism.
04:55That's actually the main one.
04:56Oh, hey, guys.
04:57Can you get Freddie's autograph?
04:58It's for my friend's son.
05:00Who should he make it out to?
05:01Sue Wilson.
05:02He's named after me.
05:03Cool.
05:05Is this a speech?
05:06Yes, sir.
05:07Any snags?
05:08No, all good.
05:10Sir Freddie Wallace may use the term LGBT.
05:13I remember it this way.
05:14L is for ladies who play tennis.
05:16G is for guys who do other guys.
05:18B is for bisexual.
05:20I couldn't think of one to go for that.
05:22That's fine.
05:23And T is for tucking it in or tacking it on.
05:27It's transgender, actually.
05:29Thanks for killing my joke and then mutilating it.
05:32Well, as my grandfather never said,
05:34let's go be inclusive.
05:36Have you seen Kent's polling?
05:38I could not be more likable
05:40if I had given both of my kidneys to some sick kid.
05:43God almighty.
05:45Karen, I want some champagne.
05:46Mm-hmm.
05:47Ma'am, we're in a T-totalitarian state.
05:50Look at these numbers.
05:51I keep staring at them.
05:52I'm going to make this like a screensaver.
05:54I wonder how you do that.
05:55The rainbow jersey shows
05:57that there's no place for discrimination,
05:59either on or off the court.
06:02And I'm proud to have the president.
06:06I'm sorry, the vice president
06:09on my team.
06:12Sparkling water.
06:14I put the champagne in the water bottles.
06:16You don't have to explain.
06:17I mean, I can tell what you did.
06:18Yeah.
06:19Oh, look at Doyle.
06:20Did he have his teeth capped?
06:22Oh, my God.
06:23The last surviving golden girl.
06:27Almost put him in the penalty box for that,
06:30but it's hockey, so
06:32I'm going to say a little something.
06:34Wasn't this originally written for POTUS?
06:36A speech is a speech.
06:38Phonemes connecting to produce meanings.
06:40Sports can bring us together.
06:44Help end homophobia.
06:48When I was a boy,
06:51it was my gay friends
06:54who taught me how to be tolerant
06:56and how to be true to yourself
07:01and how to dance to Madonna.
07:05Madonna?
07:06What?
07:07Was I supposed to say that?
07:09You know, back in college,
07:11my girlfriends,
07:14boyfriends, my friends...
07:17Perhaps it did need some reworking.
07:21Thank you so much for your assistance, Abbas.
07:23They're bringing the journalist out.
07:25Is he a friend of yours?
07:26Leon?
07:27Oh, God, no.
07:28He is the asshole of an asshole's asshole.
07:30I feel bad for the guys who had to guard him.
07:32Mike.
07:33Leon.
07:34Face I never thought I'd want to kiss.
07:36I still don't.
07:37Nice hotel?
07:38Yeah, I'll have something to say about it on TripAdvisor.
07:41Worst minibar ever.
07:42Amongst other things.
07:44Oh, this is Abbas,
07:46our liaison, Leon West.
07:47Apologies, Mr. West.
07:49Both countries had to deny the visit,
07:52but now we confirm.
07:54Wait, both countries?
07:55Uh, his English isn't very good.
07:57It sounded fine to me.
07:58And you, sir, get to fly home on Air Force One.
08:01Whoa.
08:02Yeah.
08:03I'm shallow enough for that to be exciting.
08:05Did you know it can survive a nuclear blast?
08:07Yeah.
08:08Yeah.
08:09Not that you guys are planning one.
08:11I just...
08:12Ignore me.
08:13I don't know why I said that.
08:14His English isn't very good.
08:18Well, let's get you going.
08:19The president has a big-ass scotch on the rocks for you.
08:22Yeah.
08:23Which is iced tea.
08:24It's iced tea.
08:25Thank you, Abbas.
08:27Mike.
08:32Safe trip.
08:34Safe stay.
08:36So, let's celebrate all things L and, uh, G-B-T.
08:42Huh?
08:45Though these days we use the more inclusive L-G-B-T-Q.
08:51We do.
08:52Um...
08:54And I...
08:56Respect all people's rights to be...
08:59Uh, Q.
09:01Or rather, just Q.
09:03Yeah.
09:04Just Q.
09:06Sounds like he's learning a sex alphabet.
09:08I've seen a salmon and a grizzly's mouth look less panicky than that.
09:14Everybody knows that Q means questioning.
09:22Ironically, the straight guy is very stiff around the gay guy.
09:27What?
09:28Our polling said that he was widely perceived as quite wooden.
09:32Why were you polling him?
09:35I was polling him against other potential running mates.
09:38Just move.
09:39I'm not a backwards walker, Amy.
09:42The president promised Doyle he'd be on the ticket and she wouldn't pull other possible running mates.
09:49No one told me that.
09:51Yet again, the left hand has no idea what the right hand is doing and the freakish middle hand is punching me repeatedly in the tits.
09:58Well, that was an education.
10:01I mean, what I really want to do is get into lobbying, but...
10:04I mean, it's only been like six weeks and three days, so I'm not sweating it.
10:08Oh, hold on. I got another call.
10:11Sydney!
10:12Hey!
10:13It's so funny, I was literally just commenting to a friend about lobby...
10:18You're right, that's not interesting.
10:20Yes, I would love to come in.
10:23So this is PKM.
10:25This place is huge.
10:27Yep, once you see the Dolphinarium, it's right near the Latin Quarter, and you've got the Red Light District.
10:32God, this place is so awesome, I kind of feel like hitting on it.
10:36Yeah, well, there's women here, you can do that too if you wanted.
10:38I know this, though.
10:39So, Dan, here's my pitch.
10:42I can make you so rich, you could pay Bill Gates to give you a lap dance.
10:47Let me hear your pitch.
10:48Ah, well, I'm smart, well-connected...
10:51And fired.
10:52Yeah, don't forget fired.
10:53Fired up.
10:54Oh, okay.
10:55To put my contacts to work for your clients.
10:57Now that's music to my wallet.
11:00But are you ready to take a dump on Mike McClintock's doorstep?
11:04Like an initiation kind of thing?
11:06No, I mean, can you take on clients who are best served by you shitting on the Meyer agenda?
11:12Oh, well, let me think about that.
11:14Yeah.
11:15Great.
11:16We'll get to that doorstep thing later, though.
11:18Yeah, I'll still do that, I'm into it.
11:20Ma'am, may I present the hero of the hour, along with yourself.
11:23Welcome aboard Air Force One.
11:25Thank you, ma'am.
11:26Oh, gosh.
11:29Okay, are we still doing it?
11:32Okay.
11:34Great, yeah.
11:35He needs deodorant.
11:38Well, I am so happy to see you, Leon.
11:41We really did work tirelessly for your release.
11:44Oh, thank you, Madam President.
11:46I haven't slept very much.
11:47Well, I'm sure food is the last thing on your mind.
11:49I know it's the last thing on my mind.
11:51I wonder if you're hungry, though.
11:52Yes, I am.
11:53Because I'll tell you something.
11:54The adrenaline on this Mideast trip has just kept me from eating anything.
11:59Did you just say you do want something to eat?
12:01Yes, thank you.
12:02Oh, is that food?
12:03No, it's deodorant.
12:05It's deodorant?
12:11All right.
12:12What would you like to eat?
12:14Anything that's not chickpeas.
12:19Hey!
12:20Why are those lovely long legs walking away from me?
12:23Probably means you.
12:25Yeah, that's good.
12:26I got this.
12:28I am not in the blame game, but that rainbow-colored clusterfuck in there was entirely your fault.
12:33Okay, no.
12:34Kent Davidson pulled other candidates for Veep.
12:36What the fuck?
12:37Did you just throw Kent into the blender to save your own ass?
12:40Not fully into the blender.
12:41I mean, maybe just a little bit.
12:42Just the toes.
12:43Because that is the Jonah I've been trying to wake up since the day you got here.
12:47And Kent Davidson is a disloyal fucking prick.
12:50I fucking hate Kent.
12:52I want to wipe that neutral expression off his face.
12:56Here's how we're going to do it.
12:57Okay.
12:58We're going to leak that the VP is dissatisfied and that he's thinking of walking.
13:02We're going to force POTUS to back Doyle.
13:05I will not let you down.
13:07All right.
13:08So what kind of media contacts do you have?
13:10Liz Kerrigan.
13:12Liz.
13:13Liz.
13:14How hard can you work this Liz?
13:15Oh my God.
13:16I can ride her hard and hang her up wet.
13:17I like what I'm seeing, all right?
13:19Show me more.
13:21I will.
13:22Two full barrels.
13:23Fucking nightmare.
13:24It's just been such a magical time.
13:26And I wish I could have visited every country in the whole world.
13:29You know?
13:30Even New Zealand.
13:31People are now comparing me to Nixon, I heard.
13:34Okay.
13:35They didn't mean your looks.
13:36No, no, no.
13:37I don't mean that.
13:38But, I mean, I'll take the comparison.
13:39So where would you like to begin?
13:40Well, I don't really know what's happened lately because I've been locked in a hotel
13:44room without access to the outside world.
13:46Of course.
13:47You know what we need to do?
13:48We need to get Leon some of the press clippings.
13:49I think he'd like to see some of those.
13:51Should I check on his food first?
13:52Yes.
13:53No, no.
13:54Get him the press clippings.
13:55First of all, the talks in Israel went so well that I was delayed a day getting here.
14:00And then the talks here were just amazing.
14:03So, just to clarify, you were delayed by a day.
14:07Yeah.
14:08My release was delayed by a day.
14:10Mm-hmm.
14:11Mm-hmm.
14:12Here's those press clippings.
14:13Um, what I would like you to do is check on Leon's food because I know you're hungry.
14:18Yep.
14:19Yeah.
14:20Ben, wake up.
14:21Gary, where are you giving me all that ambience?
14:23Mike.
14:24Mike.
14:25Mike.
14:26Mike.
14:27We've got a problem with the vice president.
14:28Okay.
14:29Hang on.
14:30I'll be right back.
14:31I don't know what this is all about.
14:32Sure.
14:33What's going on?
14:34Ma'am.
14:35What?
14:36Liz Kerrigan is running a story that Doyle is unhappy.
14:37Should I go and see if there's any chatter about this on the press plane?
14:40Crisis at data, fuck.
14:41No.
14:42I don't know.
14:43Yes.
14:44Let's just go with I don't know.
14:45Okay.
14:46Okay.
14:47Please don't.
14:48Hey, look.
14:49Leon's watching.
14:50Okay.
14:51So, just go in there and distract him.
14:52Give him a hand job if you have to.
14:53Okay.
14:54Just get it done.
14:55Okay?
14:56Two weeks detained.
14:57That is hard.
14:58I was in a hotel, so it wasn't that bad.
14:59Oh, okay.
15:00Leon is starting to think that his release was delayed by a day because my arrival here
15:01was delayed by a day.
15:02He's going to figure out that we didn't okay his release until now, and then he'll write
15:03something bad about that.
15:04That could be bad.
15:05Yeah.
15:06That is bad.
15:07It is bad.
15:08And Leon wanting to say it's bad is really bad.
15:09It's worse.
15:10Okay, look.
15:11In seven seconds, you come in there, Ben.
15:12You grab me by the hair and you drag me out.
15:13Okay?
15:14Are you listening?
15:15Yeah.
15:16Okay.
15:17We've got to find out where this Doyle story is going.
15:18Okay.
15:19Okay.
15:20Okay.
15:21Okay.
15:22Okay.
15:23Okay.
15:24Okay.
15:25Okay.
15:26We've got to find out where this Doyle story is coming from.
15:29I'll check out the press play.
15:31You must be very tired.
15:33Would you like to put a pin in this for a moment?
15:35Some people might think that the American government detaining an American journalist
15:39so that you can have a photo op might look bad.
15:43Can you see that?
15:44Leon, I respect you so much as a journalist.
15:49And when Ben and I were first discussing the peace talks, I said to Ben, I said, Ben.
15:55Ma'am? Ben, I...
15:56State Department?
15:58Oh, this I've got to take.
15:59Excuse me, hello? Never stops, does it?
16:01Leon, you need to rest.
16:03You know, I just had one second of sleep and I feel great.
16:07Okay, maybe the guys in the press plane would like me to go over there
16:11and tell them about the U.S. government imprisoning a guy in Iran.
16:16Go get Mike from the press plane.
16:18Fucking idiots.
16:19We've got to hold him hostage here.
16:21Do you understand? We've got to take off now.
16:23Mike and Gary are off the plane.
16:25We have a pilot on the plane, right?
16:27Okay, so let's go. We've got to go.
16:29Leon, you've got to sit down.
16:30I'm a bad flyer and I might need somebody to hold me.
16:33Are you seriously detaining me again?
16:36Am I being rendered?
16:37No, you're being friended.
16:40So just please accept our compulsory hospitality.
16:46Oh, Jesus, that suit.
16:48My gosh, look like a middle school teacher.
16:51Okay, that's Erica.
16:53She's going to take you out and buy you some real suits
16:55like these government-issued rags you're wearing.
16:57She's not exactly a government issue herself, is she?
17:00Hey, don't even look at her.
17:02Oh, I'm kidding.
17:05Or am I?
17:07No, seriously, I'm just fucking with you, Dan.
17:11So listen, tonight we're going to put you on TV as a political commentator.
17:14Yes, and finally something good to watch on the idiot bus.
17:18We've just started lobbying for Glace Cherries,
17:20so mention Glace Cherries.
17:23Well, how do I work in Glace Cherries into a political roundtable?
17:27You'll figure it out.
17:28Listen, you give me Glace Cherries
17:29and I'll give you a bit of money with pussy on the nightstand.
17:33Maybe Erica.
17:34But not her.
17:35Yeah, but maybe.
17:38We'll just let that hang.
17:39Yeah, yeah.
17:40Stay on your toes, bud.
17:41Yeah, I know.
17:42It'll be like that the entire time you're here.
17:51Hey, that's Air Force One.
17:54Oh, my God, what the hell is happening?
17:57Why are they leaving us?
17:58Are we at war?
18:00Is it here?
18:00Oh, no, it can't be.
18:01It can't be.
18:02Oh, sweet Jesus.
18:03Stop saying sweet Jesus.
18:05Stop it.
18:06This is how I see it.
18:08I say the U.S. is planning a secret trip.
18:10The Iranians ask you to confirm the secret trip.
18:13You say there's no secret trip because it's a secret.
18:16They think I'm James Bond and detain me.
18:20Leanne, you're no fucking James Bond.
18:24Journalism is storytelling.
18:26You tell your story about your bravery, your integrity,
18:30and how we rescued you and gave you warm nuts.
18:33The Iranians detained me because of you.
18:35That's my story.
18:37They detained me an extra day because of you.
18:39That's my other story.
18:40Now, you want to be rescued or not, you ungrateful shit?
18:44My release was delayed because the president went to grab the headlines
18:48for freeing an American.
18:49An American she deliberately did not de-detain.
18:54Jonah, either get Leanne's mom to the airbase
18:56or buy yourself a very convincing wig.
18:59Where's Kent?
19:00I don't know.
19:01Maybe he's bitten off his tracking device.
19:03You should be here by now.
19:04This is not okay.
19:05Mike.
19:06Break out the yellow ribbon, Sue.
19:07We are stranded in Iran.
19:10I'm really scared, Sue.
19:12Man up, Gary.
19:13Or at least lady down a bit.
19:15Gary and Mike have been left behind in Iran.
19:17Wonderful.
19:18It's Black Hawk Down with Lowell and Hardy.
19:19Amy, if anyone asks, no one's been left behind in Iran.
19:23There you are.
19:24Where have you been?
19:25I grew a small beard here.
19:26Bill, of my various walking paces, I selected moderate to fast.
19:30The press are saying that the VP is unhappy with the president.
19:33That doesn't make me happy.
19:34Because of the secret polling?
19:36Or because he's heard that someone has hacked the data of dead children?
19:39Or a third reason, which is even worse than those.
19:42We gotta get inside Dole's head, find out what he knows.
19:44Get out.
19:45No, come in.
19:46You get out.
19:48Mike, why exactly are you calling me?
19:50What do we do, Sue?
19:51There's a backup plane.
19:53Find the backup plane.
19:57Oh, my God.
19:57Come on.
19:58Where is it?
19:59I don't know.
19:59Oh, shit.
20:01Pardon.
20:02Pardon.
20:02That's French.
20:05Oh, am I in the wrong place?
20:08Is this QVC?
20:10Amy.
20:11I hear you're lobbying with Sidney Purcell now.
20:14The man whose dream vacation is hunting the street kids of Rio on a human safari.
20:18Not lobbying.
20:19No, that'd be illegal.
20:21I'm a consultant.
20:22And I gotta say, I like the guy a hell of a lot more ever since he told me how rich I'm gonna be.
20:26Sorry you got fired.
20:27You were almost good at your job, which really made you stand out.
20:30Right back at ya.
20:33Can't be this nice to each other on air, you know.
20:35Oh, I know.
20:36May the best man win.
20:38Which'll be me.
20:42Mike.
20:43Mike.
20:44I found the back of Plank Month.
20:45Come on, I found it.
20:46Oh, God.
20:47I've never had strong feelings for a plane, but right now I would cheat on Wendy with that thing.
20:53Jonah, we need to talk.
20:55We are just in the car with Leanne Westmother.
20:57Do you need anything, ma'am?
20:59No, I'm good.
21:01Great.
21:02Jonah, I know something's happening at the VP's office.
21:05Oh.
21:07Okay, you do.
21:08I need you to tell me what's going on.
21:11And, uh, do I have to tell you that right now?
21:13Yes, you do.
21:15You know, I was thinking we could stop for a coffee.
21:17Uh, Teddy's been touching me.
21:19Or tea.
21:20Uh, just processing that.
21:23Wait, Mr. Davison?
21:24Shit, am I on speakerphone?
21:27Sorry, Jonah, what happened exactly?
21:32Um.
21:34Well, he, uh, he, he cupped my testicles.
21:39On another occasion, he, uh, patted or tapped on my testicles.
21:46And then on another occasion, he, uh, held my testicles for a significantly long time.
21:52Guess what?
21:53I just got engaged.
21:54Are you fucking kidding me?
21:56Katherine's there, too?
21:57Hi, Jonah.
21:58Jason proposed and I said yes.
22:00Well, shit, congratulations.
22:03Marriage is good.
22:04This is a fine institution.
22:05Don't tell my mom.
22:06I want to surprise her.
22:09Jonah, is there anything else you want to tell us?
22:12I don't know.
22:12Is there anybody else in the room?
22:14Just myself and Billigan.
22:16And I'm here taking notes.
22:18Sue's there.
22:18Fuck.
22:19Okay, well, no, there's nothing else that I have to say.
22:22I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one that Teddy's been touching, okay?
22:25Thanks, guys.
22:26Great talk.
22:27Okay, we got nothing out of that but a funny story.
22:32Plane's broken.
22:32Can't take off.
22:33They say it's gonna be a week until they get the part.
22:36Jesus Christ, the Chinese can 3D print 100 houses.
22:39Why isn't there a backup plan for the backup plan, Mike?
22:41You need to get on the press plane.
22:43The press hates us, especially you.
22:45They can't stand you.
22:46We have booze, Gary, and they have a crippling dependency.
22:50What, is this gonna work in a dry country?
22:52The man with all the booze holds the cards.
22:57Yeah?
22:58Ma'am, you actually do have a phone call.
23:00Oh.
23:01It's Kent and Bill on speaker.
23:04Hey, guys, what's up?
23:05Ma'am, we're worried that Doyle knows about the polling.
23:08What polling?
23:09Kent?
23:10I thought it might be useful to see how Doyle is performing his veep.
23:14I specifically promised Doyle that I would not do that, Kent.
23:19I apologize, but it did throw up some very interesting results.
23:23But I will run those by you at a less angry time.
23:27We have what we think is a very smart plan of action.
23:30It's brilliant.
23:30Quite brilliant.
23:31We tell Doyle that your campaign used stolen data to target bereaved parents.
23:36Why in the name of pixelated fuck would you do that?
23:41My God!
23:41And can you please use code when we're talking about this?
23:45Use the word, I don't know, cupcake instead of data,
23:49and use happy instead of bereaved or something?
23:53It binds him to us, infects him,
23:55and elements of his office were CC'd on emails mentioning the breach.
23:59Exactly.
24:00He will be as involved as the rest of us in targeting happy parents
24:04after stealing cupcakes about their dead children.
24:09Fine, inject him with the happy cupcake virus, all right?
24:12I hope he swells up and dies.
24:15That's not code, by the way.
24:18Wow.
24:19Ben, why don't I know what's going on here?
24:21I don't know.
24:22I'm supposed to have my finger on the button.
24:24But for all I know, it's been rewired
24:27and I'm just operating some sort of light in a closet somewhere.
24:31And what are we going to do about Leon?
24:33I'm going to treat him like my own brother,
24:35who I had murdered back in 86.
24:40The president is charming the Middle East,
24:42but apparently her own VP is unhappy with her.
24:46Not true.
24:47And we're discussing rumors.
24:48Is this a news channel or a dorm room?
24:50You could say that the president's Iran visit
24:54puts a delicious glace cherry on the cake of Sleemeyer's tour.
24:59Well, welcome back from the wasteland.
25:02Here's to us.
25:03Do a job well done on your part.
25:05You were great.
25:06Yeah, I know.
25:08You know, we could still be great.
25:11We could.
25:12Oh, yeah.
25:15Can I ask you something?
25:17Uh-oh.
25:19Am I that transparent, really?
25:21But Dan, you kind of are.
25:24Well, Amy, I would love it
25:29if you would give me access to the White House.
25:34Oh.
25:37What?
25:40Did you think I was going to ask you something else?
25:42No.
25:44Okay.
25:48Yeah?
25:49Amy, bad news.
25:50Erickson told Doyle that the campaign used dead kids' data
25:55to target recently bereaved parents.
25:57God, that is some elaborate self-sabotage right there.
26:00That is surficially suicide bombing.
26:03Go back in time and stop that from happening.
26:08You okay?
26:09I feel like I'm on a life support machine
26:11and they keep pulling the plug to charge their phones.
26:15Tequila?
26:16Yeah.
26:18My God, this is so scary.
26:19Quiet down, guys.
26:20It's really scary.
26:23Oh, my God.
26:24Oh, my God.
26:25Oh, my God.
26:26I don't want to go to jail over here.
26:28We've got about 10 seconds to drink everything
26:31and then eat the bottles.
26:35You wanted to see me, ma'am?
26:37Did I wake you up?
26:39No.
26:41Come, come in, come in.
26:42You don't look good, man.
26:44You look like the cabin depressurized
26:46and you fell into a cone or something.
26:49I'm fine.
26:49Sit, sit.
26:53What's up, ma'am?
26:55I'm not in control, Ben.
26:56I'm really not.
26:58Well, we have pilots for that.
26:59You know what I mean?
27:00Leon, Ken's polling, dead kids baked in the cupcakes.
27:05So all of this has confirmed for me
27:08that I made the right decision
27:09when I decided to bring in somebody else.
27:12That's great.
27:13More minds, the merrier.
27:15That's a saying, I think.
27:17No, I don't think it is.
27:18Her name is Karen Collins, okay?
27:21You might remember her from my old lawyering days.
27:24I mean, seriously, Ben.
27:25She's everything that I'm missing.
27:27She's smart.
27:28She's capable.
27:29She's organized.
27:32She sounds like the complete package.
27:37I don't know.
27:38But I mean, you know, don't misunderstand me
27:40because I mean, obviously, I so respect you, Ben.
27:44And I think you're incredibly capable.
27:47And I also think that you...
27:54Ben?
27:58I need to see the president for a debrief and a pre-brief.
28:00Back off, Cary Grant, okay?
28:02Vice president is first up.
28:03I need to tell my mom that I got engaged.
28:05Oh, also, I got engaged.
28:07Yeah, so did I.
28:08To her.
28:09It's obvious.
28:11Okay, congrats.
28:12And listen up.
28:14The first thing that's going to happen
28:15once the president lands is a debrief.
28:18And then we're...
28:19Why does it feel like nobody's listening to me?
28:21This is tough for you, huh?
28:23Looks like someone needs to learn some management skills.
28:26I'm sorry, who the fuck are you?
28:27Oh, I'm Karen Collins, the president's new senior advisor.
28:31My specialty?
28:32Common sense.
28:33I need to talk to my mom.
28:35Oh my god, Katherine, look at you.
28:37Do you remember me?
28:39Of course.
28:41Yeah, I really need to talk to my mom.
28:43Oh, let's handle it then.
28:44Dive in, let's dive in.
28:46Um, so I obviously knew about Miss Karen.
28:51Were you told?
28:53Senior advisor, yes.
28:55Sure, of course.
28:57Uh, Amy, hey.
28:58Yeah, what?
28:59Um, we have Leon West's mom and she just looks, um, just very terrible.
29:06I... talk to this... talk to Karen.
29:10Her specialty is common sense.
29:12Oh, great, you know.
29:13Good memory.
29:14I'm Jonah Ryan.
29:15Oh, pleasure to meet you.
29:16I'm Karen.
29:17Sue, if anybody asks for me, I've gone outside to scream into the night.
29:23Okay, I have one for me too.
29:27Did you rest?
29:28I slept like a drugged log.
29:29Good.
29:30How do I look?
29:32Very tired.
29:34You know, Gary usually sugarcoats that.
29:36Tired?
29:41Did my eye just twitch?
29:43No.
29:47Hey, Katherine, about earlier, the molesting.
29:51What?
29:53Hmm?
29:54Wait, what?
29:56Hey, look, there's your mom.
30:00This isn't just about me.
30:02This is about the strength of these two beautiful people.
30:11I am most humbled to have played my small part in human history.
30:18I'm not gonna make it to the cottage, Wendy.
30:22I mean, I ran.
30:24Turns out you can't buy a boarding pass with tiny bottles of Jack Daniels.
30:28Wow, that was great.
30:29Wasn't it?
30:30A lot of people need to talk to you.
30:31Okay, that's fine.
30:33Katherine!
30:34We're engaged.
30:35No, you're not.
30:37Yes, we are.
30:39I'm 48.
30:41Put your hand down.
30:44Well, it's nice to have you back, ma'am.
30:46Yeah.
30:46And so...
30:47Karen!
30:48I'm here.
30:49I'm gonna give you a hug.
30:50Right.
30:51I'm so glad to see you.
30:55You guys met?
30:56Yes.
30:56Great.
30:57Great.
30:58Besties.
30:58Let's get off the tarmac.
31:00I'm not snacking.
31:01I'm on my diet.
31:03It's a celery stick.
31:07All right, it's a cookie.
31:09I've had dates every day.
31:10You know, dates are a dessert.

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