Benidorm S07 E07 - Episode #7.7

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Transcript
00:00♪
00:30Buenos dias. Beautiful day.
00:33Buenos dias.
00:36Buenos dias.
00:45If the wind changes your face, we'll stay like that.
00:48What?
00:49Not what. It should be pardon.
00:52I did not say anything.
00:53What?
00:55You say pardon, but I did not say anything.
00:57No, no. You said what?
00:59I'm saying it should be pardon.
01:02I did not say anything. Who are you talking to?
01:05You. I'm talking to you.
01:06But you say pardon. I did not say anything.
01:09I said pardon because you said what?
01:12Nothing. I said nothing.
01:14You talk about the wind, there is no wind.
01:16I say nothing, you say pardon.
01:18What I mean is, you should say pardon rather than saying what.
01:22I tell you, I don't know.
01:24Leslie, could you please explain to Mateo?
01:27What?
01:28Pardon.
01:29This is the problem. You are deaf.
01:31I am not deaf. I would just like people to say pardon as opposed to what.
01:35I don't know.
01:36Right. That's it. Mateo, inside.
01:38Inside what?
01:39Inside pardon.
01:41Get out of my sight.
01:42This will be my pleasure.
01:44The last thing I need today is another crazy woman.
01:47Another crazy woman?
01:49Did I just hear that correctly?
01:51What?
01:54What's all that racket?
01:55It's Mateo. That manager woman's giving him a right roasting.
01:58I think he might need comfort and sucker.
02:00Don't be disgusting.
02:02What's he doing to her?
02:03I said the barman might need comfort and sucker.
02:06All right, you didn't have to say it again.
02:08It means support, help.
02:10I thought you'd had a go on that one.
02:12Surely he ain't going to make the same mistake twice.
02:15I thought you were going to go and see your lovely new Spanish holiday home.
02:18You know, the one you don't legally own.
02:20He does own the house, just not the land it's built on.
02:23I didn't buy a house, I put a five grand deposit on one,
02:27which I will be getting back ASAP.
02:29I can't believe you've been conned.
02:31I'd love us a place in Spain.
02:33Have you seen Ronaldinho's house? It's unbelievable.
02:36Who's Ronaldinho?
02:38Brazilian footballer, but his house in Spain is sick.
02:40I don't think your dad's house is feeling too well either.
02:43Oh my God, I know the one you mean.
02:46He's in the Calvin Klein ads.
02:48He is absolutely gorgeous.
02:51No, you're thinking of Cristiano Ronaldo.
02:54Ronaldinho's got a face like a witch doctor's rattle.
02:58So you'd be quite a good match.
03:01Prices from 90,000 euros.
03:04Oh my God, Ronaldinho could literally buy a whole row of these houses
03:07with a week's pay.
03:13What?
03:22Good afternoon.
03:24It is?
03:26Oh yes, it is a very good afternoon.
03:28What do you want?
03:30My wife and a friend are arriving today.
03:34Mrs Rhiannon Flint and Mr Donald Stewart.
03:38I wonder if I could be paged on their arrival.
03:41Paged? Paged.
03:43What is paged?
03:45Well, notified, informed, told.
03:47Yes, I'd like to be told when they have arrived.
03:50There are so many words in English to say one thing.
03:52Ah, my friend, there's the beauty of it.
03:55Are you familiar with Thomas?
03:57Thomas? The cleaner?
04:00He's no longer the Solana.
04:02He now works at the Polish Italian in Calle Londres.
04:04No, Dylan Thomas.
04:07No, I do not know this person.
04:09Do not go gentle into that good night.
04:12Old age should burn and rave at close of day.
04:16Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
04:20Do you want to rave?
04:23There is a club, Raleigh Seas, but it's mainly young people.
04:29Can I help you, sir?
04:33I hope your day improves.
04:35It's a fatty chance.
04:41You've got to snap out of it, man.
04:43I have many problems, Leslie.
04:45Problems? You, you don't know the meaning of the word.
04:48You're young, good-looking, footloose and fancy free.
04:51My life, it is in danger.
04:53Well, Vargo, are you serious?
04:58I think I may have to leave Benidorm.
05:00You've got to be joking.
05:05Paolo, cover us on reception, half an hour.
05:08Come on, you, ragtimes.
05:16DOORBELL RINGS
05:24Oh, hiya, Sue. Just take a seat and I'll be with you in a minute.
05:27No, you're all right. I'm just here to pay for my manicure.
05:30Oh, aye. This is Sue Lillian.
05:33She's a psychic medium.
05:35Available for children's parties, weddings, public hangings.
05:39Liam!
05:40I do not do children's parties.
05:44Oh, hiya, Sue. What can we do for you?
05:47I've got a message for you.
05:49Oh, here we go again.
05:51Right, Lillian, it's time for phase two of your head-to-toe makeover.
05:55Come on, love, let's get them trotters into a bucket of Domestos, shall we?
05:59I've had enough messages from beyond the grave this week to last me a lifetime.
06:02Sue, you know I don't believe in all that.
06:04No, it's not a message from the other side.
06:07It's from Madrid.
06:09Oh, that's my manicure.
06:11Madrid?
06:12A lass called Veronica.
06:15You did her hair last weekend.
06:17Veronica? Veronica?
06:19You did her a graduated bob and coloured her hair.
06:22Oh, yeah, that's right. Veronica works as a solicitor in Madrid.
06:25Yeah, well, she called me and she asked me to give you her number.
06:28She needs to speak to you as a matter of great urgency.
06:32Why did she call you?
06:34Well, you never open, and she had my number.
06:37I don't make a habit of doing readings at hen parties.
06:40It's very undignified to get in touch with the psychic world
06:43while listening to Bonnie Tyler and being hit over the head with an inflatable penis,
06:47but, well, needs must.
06:49That's her number.
06:52Liam, please, be careful.
06:57I also got a message from Trippy Tucker, one of my spirit guides.
07:03Here we go.
07:04No, no, no, listen to me.
07:06I have to tell you this.
07:08You are going away for at least 12 months.
07:13Possibly several years.
07:14What?
07:15It's time for you to face up to your destiny, Liam.
07:19And you won't be seeing your family and friends for some time.
07:21Right, that's it. Out. I've had enough of this.
07:23How do you mean? What? No!
07:24You're getting sick of this. Out!
07:26Psychics are miserable.
07:35Everything all right, love?
07:38Yeah, everything's fine.
07:52I'm sorry I didn't realise things were that bad.
07:55We were married to each other too young.
07:57Do not disturb me. I love my four children.
08:01Pedro, Gabriel, Mateo Junior and...
08:05Do you...?
08:10Alonso, it is very difficult for me.
08:13My wife and I, we live in the house of her mother, Dolores.
08:17But she's always trying to...
08:19Interfere?
08:21Always trying to...
08:23Hold you back?
08:24Trying to...
08:25Get in the way?
08:26Kill me.
08:28Always she's trying to kill me.
08:30What do you mean by that?
08:32Stop my breathing, end my life.
08:35I do not know other ways to say this.
08:37No, no. I get the picture.
08:40The marriage, it does not work.
08:42Our children, Pedro, Gabriel, Mateo Junior and...
08:47Alfonso?
08:48Alfonso.
08:50Alfonso or Alonso?
08:52I don't know, pal.
08:54Anyway, the children, they are with her sister.
08:57I cannot see them.
08:58My situation is, how do you say,
09:01unconventional.
09:05Do you mind, love?
09:07Oh, sorry.
09:12Well, if you honestly think that your life is in danger,
09:15you've got to get out, man.
09:16I have to get out?
09:17Absolutely, and don't let it drag.
09:20I knew my marriage wasn't working at 28.
09:23We separated when I was 50.
09:25All those wasted years.
09:27You need a new beginning.
09:28None of us are getting any younger.
09:31Okay, you are right.
09:33I go now.
09:34Can you cover me for one hour?
09:36No bother.
09:37Mrs. Templer said you had to make yourself scarce,
09:39so everybody's happy.
09:42Happy.
09:44Happy.
09:46Yes, I remember this.
09:50Okay, no more wasted years.
09:53I will have my new beginning.
09:55Today, I tell that crazy bitch, Dolores,
09:58no more.
09:59My old life ends today.
10:05Hopefully not.
10:09Oh, you look smart.
10:11Are you going somewhere?
10:13No, I just thought I'd make a bit of an effort, you know,
10:16for Rihanna.
10:17Oh, yeah.
10:18I've had an extra squirt of Charlie.
10:21I'm sorry?
10:22It's a perfume.
10:24Donald's favourite.
10:25Oh, right, I see.
10:27You know, I think I've rather grown to appreciate Benidorm.
10:31It has a certain naive charm,
10:34which I find quite beguiling.
10:36Six down, large bird of prey,
10:39reputed to gather with others in anticipation of the death
10:43of a sick or injured animal.
10:46Vulture.
10:47Oh, yeah.
10:49Oh, no wonder Shitehawk didn't fit.
10:54I will answer to the calling you
11:00I will answer to
11:05But if when you hear my love call
11:10Ringing clear
11:13And I hear your answering echo
11:18So dear
11:20Then I will know
11:24My love will come true
11:30You belong to me
11:33I belong to you
11:42APPLAUSE
11:46Thank you, thank you.
11:48Jacqueline, this is my wife, Rihanna.
11:51I had a sneaking suspicion.
11:54Lovely to meet you at last.
11:55Hello.
11:57I've heard a lot about you.
11:59Where are you going?
12:02I'm not going anywhere.
12:04Where do you want me to go?
12:05No, I mean, why are you dressed like that around a swimming pool?
12:10Well, I... I, um... I don't know.
12:14Don't tell me you've been dressing like this all week.
12:17You look like you should be taking a history class
12:20rather than sunning yourself on the Costa Blanca.
12:23Honestly, you should be making the most of it.
12:26We had rotten weather in France.
12:29In fact, this morning was the first sunny day we had since...
12:32Excuse me, where's Donald?
12:35Donald?
12:36My husband.
12:37Of course, Donald.
12:40He's, um...
12:42He hasn't called you?
12:44No, he hasn't.
12:46Right.
12:48Maybe we'll have a spot of lunch
12:51and I can explain to you what's happened.
12:53What do you mean, what's happened?
13:16Maria?
13:30Maria?
13:43Maria?
13:49Dolores?
14:11Dolores!
14:12Why are you hiding?
14:13Me, hiding?
14:15And why would I hide from a snake like you?
14:18A snake without venom.
14:20Well, what can I say about a snake?
14:22A worm is what you are.
14:23Where's Maria?
14:24Where do you think Maria is?
14:27Well, Maria is working to feed a pig like you.
14:31Let's see if you decide.
14:33What am I, a pig, a snake or a worm?
14:37You're a flea.
14:39You're a flea in the ass of a worm,
14:41in the stomach of a snake
14:43and in the mouth of a pig.
14:45Where do you think you're going?
14:47I'm leaving!
14:48No, you're not going anywhere.
14:51You have responsibilities.
14:52You have a wife and children.
14:55Children?
14:56Yes.
14:57What children?
14:58Diego, Gabriel, Mateo Junior and...
15:05Alonso?
15:06I know!
15:07My children.
15:08The ones I haven't seen in weeks.
15:10Because you have nothing as a father.
15:15I'm going to shit on all your dead!
15:21I'm sorry, which team did you say Mr...
15:23Oh, please, call him Gunter.
15:25Which team do you say Gunter plays for?
15:28Ah, Basel.
15:29It's in the Swiss Super League.
15:30His father used to play with young boys.
15:33I'm more of a...
15:34I'm sorry?
15:35Young boys.
15:36They're a football team in Switzerland.
15:38Oh, I see.
15:40I'm not familiar with that particular team.
15:42I'm more of a rugby man myself.
15:44London Wasps.
15:45It probably does this time of year.
15:47Yes, yes.
15:48Well, oddly enough,
15:50there is something of a Swiss community in this area,
15:53so Gunter should fit in very well.
15:55Gunter! Gunter!
15:58Okay, okay, okay.
16:04Selfie?
16:16Well, shall we commence the tour?
16:18Please, Miriam, Gunter, step this way.
16:26Good work, good work!
16:35So, after the second day,
16:37we kind of realised we'd made...
16:40an error of judgement.
16:43What do you mean by that?
16:45Well, as you know, Glyn and I are naturists
16:48and pretty broad-minded,
16:50but I suppose after 40 years, things got a bit stale.
16:53Well, there's no wonder if you've had your bits hanging out
16:56in the whole weathers.
16:58So we decided to have a go,
17:00but...
17:02but I couldn't go through with it.
17:04I'm sorry, Glyn, I know it was a joint decision.
17:07Whatever's happened between you and Jacqueline, I don't mind.
17:10Oh, you don't understand.
17:12I felt the same way.
17:14I didn't want to touch her with a barge pole.
17:16None taken.
17:18Well, why didn't you say something?
17:20Because you didn't say anything, and...
17:23you didn't say anything.
17:26Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?
17:29I love you, Boo.
17:31And I love you too, Piggy.
17:36Where is my husband?
17:43I'm sorry, Jacqueline.
17:45I haven't seen him in days.
17:50I think I'll get us all together.
17:54I think I'll get us all another drink.
17:59You see, the beauty of buying a structure such as this
18:02is that all the hard work's been done for you.
18:06And then you have the advantage of designing
18:09your own bespoke luxury holiday home room by room.
18:23Is that your mum? Yeah.
18:26Did he just say Arsenal in the middle of that?
18:29Um, yes, Gunter was just saying a friend of his
18:32who plays for Arsenal recommended this area.
18:35Oh, yeah, I'm sure he did, yeah.
18:37The seclusion and privacy of this urbanisation
18:40is ideal for someone with a high profile.
18:42Obviously we'll have to get you to sign a secrecy agreement
18:45if news got out that Gunter was buying in this area
18:48for him and his family.
18:50Oh, absolutely.
18:52Scrucian is my middle name. Scrucian Middle Norma.
18:55Well, it's not. It's actually Hillary.
18:58But you know what I mean. Hillary.
19:01As a matter of fact, I just sold the end house of this row
19:05to a very important British businessman.
19:08He's basically a cross between Alan Sugar and Donald Trump.
19:11Alan Sucre, Donald Trump.
19:13I only met him the other day and already he trusts me with his life.
19:17You see, when I sell a property, the buyer is not a client.
19:21It's a family.
19:23One of the houses is sold.
19:25Not the best views of the Sierra from that house.
19:28I think you'll find that this particular property
19:31is the jewel in the crown of this development.
19:34I think you've misunderstood.
19:36Gunter would like to buy for his entire family.
19:38He'd like the entire row.
19:40All four houses.
19:42Oh, I see. I thought he'd just...
19:44All four houses? Jesus Christ!
19:47I mean...
19:49I don't envisage that being any kind of a problem.
19:52But you said one of the houses was sold.
19:54We'll soon kick that ugly little bastard into touch
19:57before he can say, don't mention the war!
20:00That one didn't stay part of your family for very long, did he?
20:03No, what I meant was, he already had his eye on another property.
20:07Yeah, up there in the Altair Hills.
20:10I can easily nudge him in that direction, not a problem.
20:13Oh, excuse me.
20:15Guten tag.
20:17Ja? Ja?
20:21Ja, ja, eine kleine nachtmusik.
20:25We have to go.
20:27Gunter is buying art in Valencia this afternoon.
20:29Oh, yes, of course.
20:31Can you have the papers drawn up by tomorrow?
20:33I'll call in the morning. Not a problem.
20:35And get rid of the other buyer.
20:37Obviously.
20:39Or else there's no deal.
20:41I'll rip up his contract as soon as I get back to the porter cabin.
20:47Guten tag.
20:51Grazie tante.
20:53Eh.
21:02You're not going anywhere.
21:04You're staying here to look after your family.
21:07Family? Yes.
21:09My family isn't here.
21:12You've always hated me.
21:15You should be happy.
21:17As of today, you'll never see me again.
21:30As of today, no one will ever see you again.
21:46Cabin has rang from the Benidorm Bulletin again.
21:50Oh, did she?
21:52Probably still over for last week's advert.
21:54I'll give her a call later.
21:56Yeah, you do that.
21:58Who are they?
22:00They, my little chapito, are the answer to all our problems.
22:04Really? Oh, yeah.
22:06I've just sold them the last four remaining fillets.
22:10What? Oh, yes.
22:12Chips and rice for us tonight, Melanie.
22:14Chips and rice.
22:24I know you said he's gone to bring up some mixers.
22:26That was two hours ago. Where is he?
22:29I don't know.
22:31I'm sorry, Mrs Jemison, I just... I don't know.
22:36Hello, is that Veronica?
22:38Yep.
22:40Veronica? Yep.
22:42My name's Liam, I've been asked...
22:44Oh, right.
22:46Well, I only got your number today, so...
22:51OK. OK.
22:53Really?
22:57Are you serious?
22:59Oh, my God.
23:01That's amazing.
23:03No, no...
23:05No, no, it's more than amazing.
23:10It's a miracle.
23:13Right, that's it. Forget it.
23:15You've all covered for him for the last time.
23:17I'll keep trying.
23:19You're more than welcome to keep trying,
23:21as long as it doesn't interfere with your work.
23:23Because when he finally answers, you can tell him he's sacked.
23:29Dad, I need to talk to you.
23:31Absolutely, son. Just let me make this call.
23:40PHONE RINGS
24:03So, she went back to Madrid,
24:05and her friend who's got a salon there asked her where she got her hair done.
24:08And then, when she told her that I'd mixed it myself in front of her,
24:11she said, I need that man working for me.
24:13Has he been trying to get in touch with you?
24:15Yeah, only one problem. She needs me to start next week.
24:17How much are they offering?
24:19Starting salary of 25,000 plus tips.
24:21Bloody hell, son, what you waiting for?
24:23Good tips as well. They do footballers and celebrities and all sorts.
24:26Oh, son, I'm so proud of you.
24:28It would mean relocating to Madrid.
24:30Well, yeah, it's a long way to come back for your dinner.
24:33I've always loved Madrid.
24:35It's only a few hours away on the coach.
24:37Every couple of days I have off, I'll be back here in Benidorm with you.
24:40Bloody what? I'll be with you, shopping in Madrid.
24:43Thank you, Dad.
24:45For what?
24:46For believing in me.
24:48Talent is like the cream in a bottle of milk.
24:51It'll always rise to the top.
24:53I'll drink to that.
24:55Salud.
24:56No problem, Monty.
24:58An online transfer direct into my account will be fine.
25:02Including, say, 100 euros to cover the bank charges.
25:08Yeah, of course, I'll tear up my contract from this end as well.
25:13Muchas gracias, as they say.
25:21100 euros are paid for the hire of the Land Rover,
25:24and the jobs are good.
25:27Things are looking up, as they say.
25:30Say that again.
25:36Well, that's our Liam sorted with a job.
25:38What about you, Wally?
25:40Dad, please don't mention Madrid to anyone till I've spoken to Kenny.
25:43You know me, son. I will not breathe a word.
25:48Yes, son.
25:51Um...
25:53Um...
25:55Um...
25:57Um...
25:59Give us a shout when you're ready, son.
26:03You thinking about joining our Liam in Madrid, Annie?
26:06I don't think so.
26:08Madrid's a bit too sophisticated for me.
26:10I'm Benidorm through and through.
26:12You've got a cracking voice. You should be singing all the time.
26:15Not introducing pissed holidaymakers singing Sweet Caroline.
26:19Have you got knots?
26:22Is that supposed to be funny?
26:24No.
26:26Oh, you mean salted peanuts!
26:30Yes, son, I've got some right here.
26:38All right?
26:40How you doing?
26:44You've teared off a bit.
26:46I beg your pardon?
26:48Well, no, I was just saying...
26:51We've spoken before and, well...
26:56Do you want a drink?
27:00I've got one, thanks.
27:08How's your nuts?
27:10Shrinking by the minute.
27:15I was just about to open the salon.
27:17Shut up. A tonic water, please, Maria,
27:19with the slightest, nearest suggestion of Gordon's in it.
27:23OK.
27:25Gin and tonic.
27:27Is everything all right?
27:29As right as it'll ever be in this place.
27:31Mateo's gone AWOL.
27:33Is that up near Tenier?
27:35AWOL. Absent without leave.
27:40When's he gone?
27:42If I knew that.
27:44Have you tried ringing him? No.
27:46I thought I'd try smoke signals for the first few hours.
27:49Honestly, some people would do anything
27:51to get out of using their mobile phone.
27:53Are you on pay-as-you-go? Of course I've tried ringing him!
27:56All right, don't bat me head off.
28:02Am I a bad boss?
28:04I don't know. It don't work for you.
28:06I know.
28:08But do I come across as difficult or inconsiderate?
28:12Mmm...
28:14I like to think of myself as firm, but fair.
28:18I like to think of myself as 12 now, Stone, but what can you do?
28:23Can you call Mateo? He might answer the phone to you.
28:25I don't care where he's been or what he's been doing,
28:27but I need him back here.
28:29I've given up trying to sack people.
28:31We're running on the skeleton stuff as it is.
28:34MUSIC PLAYS
28:45PHONE RINGS
28:55Hello?
28:57Hello?
28:59Hello?
29:01MUSIC CONTINUES
29:06Mateo? Can you hear me?
29:08Is he there? Let me speak to him.
29:10I don't think he can hear me. Sounds like he's in a club.
29:12Mateo?
29:21Hello?
29:23Hello?
29:31What's the point?
29:37Hello? Hello?
29:45MUSIC CONTINUES
29:57MUSIC CONTINUES
30:02Glyn?
30:04Yeah?
30:06Can I ask you a question?
30:08Of course.
30:10You and Jacqueline, did you...?
30:13Don't be ridiculous.
30:15I mean, it seems such a coincidence
30:19that we both decided we'd made a mistake
30:22after we went ahead with the wife swap.
30:26MUSIC CONTINUES
30:30What about, er, Donald?
30:33What about him?
30:35Did you and he...?
30:37For goodness' sake.
30:41What on earth were we thinking?
30:46A moment of madness.
30:49Indeed.
30:51Speaking of madness,
30:53what do you think has happened to Jacqueline's husband?
30:56Well, if I'm honest, he called me yesterday.
31:00What? Why didn't you say?
31:02Still no answer.
31:06Everything OK?
31:13She's got a great voice.
31:16You two should do something together.
31:18He's been trying to make that happen for the last two days.
31:22MUSIC CONTINUES
31:24Clive.
31:26Melanie.
31:30What are you doing here?
31:32Can I have a word?
31:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:40Well done, guys! Well done!
31:49I can't believe she hasn't got another job.
31:51Honestly, the amount of talent that gets lost in this town, it's ridiculous.
31:54Yeah, on that subject... Yeah?
31:56..I need to talk to you about something.
31:58Oh, hold that thought.
32:00This may well be my Friday night booty call.
32:04What the frigging hell's this?
32:06Hey, I had no idea Annie could...
32:08Hey, I've just had this text from Matteo.
32:13Oh, bloody hell.
32:15That'll be his mother-in-law he's talking about.
32:18He said she was going to kill him.
32:20Was that a joke? No.
32:22Then what are we doing sitting here?
32:24We don't know where he lives.
32:27I'll get the address from reception.
32:29Call the police!
32:33Next to me
32:35Next to me
32:38Next to me
32:43Next to me
33:04DOG BARKS
33:15KNOCK AT DOOR
33:20Sí?
33:22Matteo.
33:24Matteo?
33:26Yeah.
33:28Don't ask Matteo.
33:30Matteo, no aquí. No here, no.
33:33DOG BARKS
33:37HE COUGHS
33:39Look, we know you've got Matteo in there.
33:41We've called the police.
33:43Policía?
33:45The police? Let me handle this, Leslie.
33:48Hola, love. Buenas noches, buenas noches.
33:51Señora, una café americano con queso para mí, por favor.
33:56He just asked her for a coffee with cheese.
33:58Un momento, eh? One moment, one moment.
34:01Sí? Sí, sí.
34:03There you are. We're getting somewhere.
34:05You see, it doesn't matter what you say to them.
34:07As long as they think you're making an effort with the language.
34:09Suck it up!
34:12DOOR CREAKS
34:25Madrid! I tried to tell you earlier, but...
34:27But what? You thought you'd wait until I just had a shotgun put in me face?
34:30I meant earlier tonight. It's all happened so fast.
34:32Yeah, well, thanks for leaving me in the lurch.
34:34What am I supposed to do now?
34:36Old Hattie Jake's in there. Might as well have pulled the bloody trigger.
34:38Oh, come on, old Kenneth, that's a bit dramatic.
34:40SIREN WAILS
34:43SIREN WAILS
34:56¿Quién llamó a la policía?
34:57Eh? Sorry, no Espanol.
34:59Which one of you called the police?
35:01Oh, that'd be me, sir.
35:03We were in the middle of eating our dinner.
35:05Oh! Sorry about that, sir.
35:07Salvador, he likes his food.
35:11Somehow I don't think that missing a meal would kill him.
35:15What is the situation?
35:17Our friend's in that house being held at gunpoint by his mother-in-law.
35:20They're related?
35:22OK, this is a domestic problem.
35:25Salvador, I think we should go back to our marmit taco.
35:28Domestic? She's just pointed a gun at us!
35:31Do you know if it was loaded?
35:33Oh, of course, I forgot to ask.
35:35Better still, we should have asked her to pull the trigger,
35:37then we'd have found out. Dickhead.
35:41What did you say?
35:46Pardon?
35:50Just then.
35:52What did you say?
35:56I said we should have asked her to pull the trigger,
35:58cos when she pointed the gun at Liam,
36:02he's got a thick head.
36:04Thanks.
36:09Salvador.
36:20He must be taking it seriously.
36:22Big lad's put his sandwich down.
36:35Then I saw Terry getting in the car,
36:37and I knew I recognised her from somewhere.
36:40Then Monty said I was giving you your deposit back
36:42because he'd found a buyer for all the houses.
36:45Then I kind of worked her out the rest.
36:47Where is he, then?
36:49Oh, I haven't told him it was you lot who were interested in the houses.
36:52Why not?
36:54Monty and I have been together for five years,
36:56but he is a very dishonest man.
36:59Oh, really? I hadn't noticed.
37:01He's got an arrangement with a woman who works in the local paper.
37:04He puts an ad in every month.
37:06Problem is, that's not the only thing he keeps putting in.
37:10But you knew how dodgy those houses were.
37:12All estate agents bend the truth.
37:14And that's how we started out.
37:16But then the financial crisis hit Spain,
37:18and, well, desperate times call for desperate measures.
37:22I don't want to do it anymore.
37:25It's just not me.
37:27So what are you going to do?
37:29I'm going to go back to the UK.
37:31I kept my flat in Watford, thank God,
37:33when I moved out to Spain, and, as luck would have it,
37:36the tenants are moving out at the end of the month.
37:38I'll need a fresh start.
37:40Most things happen for a reason.
37:42Everyone's past catches up with them eventually.
37:45Yeah, and sometimes in a good way.
38:00THEY SING
38:04There was a very brief call.
38:06Donald said he has a surprise for you,
38:09but he wouldn't say what it was.
38:11What he did say was he'd be arriving the same day as me,
38:15so I've no idea what happened to him.
38:17I'll just have to keep trying his number.
38:20Would you like another orgasm?
38:22No, thank you. I've still got plenty of this one left.
38:25I think I'll just have an early night,
38:27try him again in the morning.
38:29I'll see you tomorrow. Absolutely.
38:34I don't suppose you fancy another drink, do you?
38:39It's been a very long day, Glenn.
38:42I'll have a small white wine.
38:44Very dry.
38:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:55Tiger and Annie there with a classic from Greece.
38:58You're the one that I want.
39:00But as good as it was, it was merely an hors d'oeuvre.
39:03The Solana is proud to present tonight's main course.
39:08Meatloaf!
39:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:17PIANO PLAYS
39:25And I would do anything for love
39:31I'd run right into hell and back
39:36And I would do anything for love
39:47MUSIC PLAYS
39:50PHONE RINGS
39:55Hello? Jacqueline!
39:58Donald! Where are you?
40:01Whose phone are you on?
40:03Oh, darling, I'm so sorry.
40:05I turned my phone off on the plane
40:07and it wouldn't turn back on again.
40:09This was all supposed to be a surprise.
40:12Where are you?
40:14Pepe de la Cruz and the Costa Blanca Swingers Association.
40:17It's their annual jamboree.
40:19Remember, we missed it last year.
40:22I've missed you so much.
40:25Where are you?
40:27Look out to the cross.
40:31We're all here, waiting for you.
40:34Pepe sent a car for you.
40:36It should be at reception in a few minutes.
40:38Oh, Donald!
40:40I'm coming now.
40:44As long as you're with me
40:47As long as you're by my side
40:51As long as you're by my side
40:54You'd better believe it
40:56And I would do anything for love
41:01And you know it's true unless I die
41:04Gonna jump
41:05And I would do anything for love
41:10And I'll never be no turning back
41:20You want the last five minutes of Madrid?
41:22Mark my words, there's only so many frothy coffees
41:24and art galleries a person can put up with.
41:26I'll give you one week, and you'll be screaming out
41:28for egg and chips and karaoke.
41:30Te do las armas.
41:31Te do las armas ahora.
41:40I'm sorry.
41:47Deja que me vaya.
41:48Le pido a la policía que ha sido un error.
41:51Si me dejas ir, veo la moto y me voy para el campo.
41:54Y me largo de tu vida para siempre.
41:57No.
41:57Tú no te vas a ir a ningún lado.
42:01Por favor.
42:04Oh, my God!
42:10♪♪
42:20Bloody hell.
42:22♪♪
42:30-♪♪
42:37-♪♪
42:39-♪♪
42:42-♪♪
42:48-♪♪
42:53-♪♪
42:58-♪♪
43:06Stop worrying. I'll be back in a week to pick up the rest of my stuff.
43:09You know I'm only a phone call away.
43:11Sayonara.
43:13Good luck, son.
43:16I love you.
43:18I love you too, Dad.
43:30Wait! Wait!
43:37Oh!
43:39You didn't think I'd let you go without a proper send-off, did you?
43:43-♪♪
43:50-♪♪
43:55-♪♪ Unforgettable ♪♪
43:58Kenny, out of all the people I've ever met since I've been in Benidorm,
44:02I can honestly say, hand on heart, you were the campus...
44:05Oh, you cheeky bugger!
44:07-♪♪ Unforgettable ♪♪
44:11Liam!
44:13Liam, I got your message.
44:15Oh, Mateo, you came!
44:17Bloody hell, where have you been, Roy Rogers?
44:20I have been lying on the low for a couple of days.
44:22I had to leave this town.
44:24Dolores, she was arrested, and her sons are looking for me.
44:26Well, what are you going to do?
44:28I think maybe I'll try Madrid with you, Liam.
44:30Maybe I'll find a job there.
44:32It's OK if I ride with you?
44:34After all these years, you've never said that to me.
44:37It's OK?
44:39Of course. I'm glad of the company.
44:41-♪♪ Unforgettable ♪♪
44:43OK, my friend, so...
44:45this is goodbye?
44:47No, never goodbye.
44:49Just adios.
44:51-♪♪ And forevermore ♪♪
44:53See you tomorrow, mate.
44:55-♪♪ That's how you stay ♪♪
44:58Thank you very much.
45:03-♪♪ That's why, darling ♪♪
45:05♪♪ It's incredible ♪♪
45:08-♪♪ That someone so unforgettable ♪♪
45:14-♪♪ Means that I am unforgettable, too ♪♪
45:22-♪♪ That's me ♪♪
45:24-♪♪♪
45:34-♪♪♪
45:44-♪♪
45:54-♪♪
46:14-♪♪
46:24-♪♪