The Wonton Don | Donnie Does
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00:00Hey, Pugzai.
00:01Hey.
00:02Okay.
00:03Good morning.
00:04Good morning.
00:05Today, we're eating lamb.
00:07Lamb.
00:08Grilled lamb.
00:09We're eating crab rangoon.
00:11Yeah.
00:12It's definitely going to be delicious.
00:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15And then, we can make pizza.
00:18Today is going to be a lot of fun.
00:21And, you know, we got the fellas coming,
00:24so we're about to bro down with the boys.
00:26Listen, a lot of people said this reunion wasn't going to happen.
00:29China, Meiguo, they're not on good terms.
00:33Nah, nah, nah.
00:34We back.
00:35We are one.
00:37One.
00:38Together, we persevere.
00:40Together, we drink.
00:42And together, we eat.
00:45After reuniting with Pugzai the previous night
00:48over a feast of donkey and copious amounts of beer and baijiu,
00:54he offered to take me to the headquarters of his mobile lamb business
00:58for another day of eating and drinking like kings.
01:02Hey, how are you?
01:03So, we're here at Pugzai's lamb headquarters.
01:07I didn't know the extent of his lamb business,
01:09but it looks like he has a fleet of trucks that have lamb ovens in the back.
01:15They all have his logo on them.
01:17This is legit.
01:19I mean, we got his logo up there on this giant sign.
01:22This essentially translates to Pugzai's fully cooked mobile lamb service.
01:26He can bring a lamb anywhere you want one,
01:29moving 150 kilometers of this location.
01:35He threw in the charcoal.
01:36Now he's got, like, a leaf blower.
01:38He's just feeding the flames.
01:44That's a nice-looking lamb right there.
01:46Very nice-looking lamb.
01:48And it looks slightly more appetizing than the donkey had.
01:52Alkan.
01:53Okay.
01:54So, he's just going to let that cook for three hours.
01:56Can you tell him?
01:57I'd like to give him some sunglasses.
02:11Oh, yes!
02:12And Pugzai had some gifts for me, too.
02:14Oh, this fits perfectly.
02:16My very own Pugzai mobile lamb business merch
02:19and his famous shades that he's worn in so many vids.
02:25Yeah.
02:33Is that a truck that has fucking cannons on it?
02:36Oh, yeah.
02:40Okay, right now there's a funeral procession going on,
02:43and they're shooting fucking cannons out of that thing.
02:49Oh, wow.
02:54Oh, my God.
03:01Wow, that thing's wild.
03:05Can you sharpen a knife?
03:06Yeah, sure.
03:21It's not bad.
03:22That's like the meanest thing a Chinese person can tell you.
03:28While we waited for the lamb to be ready,
03:30we ripped some tornadoes.
03:36And Pugzai and his buddies helped me chef up some crab rangoons.
03:39Oh, my God.
03:40Oh, my God, that's a crab rangoon.
03:42Oh, my goon.
03:43So they could try them for the first time.
03:48Watch the next Gooned Up episode for a full recap of that.
03:51But spoiler alert.
03:55Pugzai is definitely a goon guy.
04:02He enjoyed them so much,
04:04I figured he should try another American delicacy as well.
04:11No, so he has never tried a pizza.
04:13We brought him a couple frozen pizzas from Shanghai.
04:17We've got Italian-style salami and cheese,
04:20and then Italian-style cheese and beef
04:23that we're going to try to cook in the lamb oven.
04:26I don't think this is going to work, but we'll figure it out.
04:29Actually, coal-fired pizza is my favorite type of pizza,
04:31and I think he has coal at the bottom of that.
04:38I think this is going to work really perfectly.
04:40I mean, it's Chinese pizza cooked in a Chinese way.
04:48Lamb-infused crust.
04:50You've heard of stuffed crust.
04:51Pizza Hut has that, but we got lamb crust.
04:54I think this is the first lamb-roasted pizza ever in history.
05:03I think they need another five minutes, and then...
05:06We got this frozen pizza in China too,
05:09so even if we cooked it perfectly,
05:10I can't vouch for this type of frozen pizza.
05:13I'm going to give a very honest review,
05:14but I am going to be rating this pizza on the China pizza scale.
05:18It's going to probably gain a couple bonus points.
05:21Whoa.
05:23Ooh, this is getting a little hard.
05:25The middle of it is so soft.
05:27I don't want to move it too much.
05:31Three minutes.
05:32It would be a lot better if we could just put the pizza on the coals,
05:35but that's tough to do when you have a giant lamb
05:38covering the entire oven.
05:41Oh, okay.
05:42Whoa.
05:43And then we'll get some lamb grease on the top.
05:50I think this one is good, yeah.
05:52And then is it getting burnt on the bottom?
05:54Yeah.
05:58The bottoms could be absolutely torched.
06:00That's okay, that's okay.
06:02It's actually torched, but it's still edible.
06:05I'm worried about this one.
06:07You know what, I think it's fine.
06:09Oh, this one's perfect.
06:13Holy shit.
06:18I'm taking them off.
06:19I'm not going to have them eat their first pizza
06:21and have there be black olives on it.
06:22All right, let's go.
06:27He says you cut the pizza very seriously.
06:29I'm taking this very seriously.
06:34This actually, if I had this frozen pizza in the U.S.,
06:37I'd be like, this looks like good frozen pizza.
06:39So shut out all these.
06:41A German supermarket chain.
06:43We say, one bite, everybody knows the rules.
06:48Can you say it?
06:49One bite.
06:50One bite.
06:51Everybody.
06:52One bite, everybody.
06:53Knows the rules.
06:55Say it again.
06:56Knows the rules.
06:57Knows the rules.
06:59Yes.
07:00One bite.
07:01One bite.
07:02Everybody.
07:03Everybody.
07:04Knows the rules.
07:05Knows the rules.
07:07Everyone knows the rules.
07:09Okay.
07:19And he knows to take more than one bite.
07:21Let's go.
07:28All right, now I'm not speaking for Pongsai.
07:31In terms of frozen pizzas I've had,
07:34this is not bad at all.
07:37I mean, if I'm rating this just on a frozen pizza scale,
07:40this is like low eights, high sevens.
07:43And now, let's try one of the,
07:45this is like a beef and marscapone cheese.
07:51It's well.
07:52It's well.
07:53Now we have to explain to him,
07:55one through ten,
07:57how would he rate this pizza?
07:59And he can say like,
08:01he can say like 6.4.
08:03He shouldn't just say a round number.
08:06No, no.
08:07He needs a decimal.
08:108.2.
08:11Dude.
08:12You heard me say I was thinking low eights,
08:15and he agreed.
08:20He's a pepperoni guy.
08:21Dude, with one look at Pongsai,
08:23you can tell he's a pepperoni guy.
08:359.8.
08:369.8.
08:37Nice, nice.
08:3810 to...
08:409.
08:419.
08:4210, 10.
08:43They need to work in a decimal.
08:459.8.
08:469.8, wow.
08:479.8.
08:487.6.
08:49All right, all right.
08:50A 7.6, that's, I mean,
08:51that's probably what Portnoy would give this.
08:53This guy, this guy's had his fair share of pizza.
08:55And a slight taste of lamb fat.
08:57And a little bit of fat.
08:58And a little bit of fat.
08:59And a little bit of fat.
09:00And a little bit of fat.
09:01And a little bit of fat.
09:02And a little bit of fat.
09:03And a little bit of fat.
09:05Yeah, I think that actually bumped it up a point.
09:07If we didn't cook these in the lamb oven,
09:10and just cooked these in my home oven,
09:13it would probably be high sixes.
09:15But the lamb oven bumped it up to low eights.
09:20Can you tell him I'm very happy
09:22that his first time trying pizza was with me?
09:27All right.
09:28And that's the review.
09:29And lookit, we got to give a lot of these folks pizza.
09:32That pizza was gone in like two minutes.
09:36And hey, we couldn't have done it without your lamb oven.
09:38So, xie xie ni.
09:40Oh, is he putting on like a lamb headband?
09:43Holy shit.
09:44This guy fucking knows what he is doing.
09:49It was time for the master to get to work.
09:56In Meiguo, they call this being the pit boss.
09:59And you're the one who just wipes down the meat.
10:02Oh, okay.
10:03So he's going to lather it on,
10:05and then I'm going to sprinkle it.
10:10Kuman goes great with lamb.
10:14This guy knows what he's doing.
10:16This is like watching Michelangelo
10:18paint Basilican Chapel.
10:20I don't know.
10:21Sistine Chapel.
10:29Okay.
10:31Okay.
10:32Wow, look at that.
10:33It just falls right off.
10:36Oh, the skin.
10:40I got it.
10:41Okay.
10:44Best lamb I've ever had.
10:46This is like insanely good.
10:47No offense, but better than donkey head.
10:54Oh, shit.
10:56You better not be throwing that out.
10:57There's a lot of good meat on those bones.
11:009.9.
11:03Lunch was served.
11:05Beautiful.
11:06And I'm like so excited to eat more of this.
11:09Pong guy knew he was going to have some Americans in town,
11:12so he brought a bottle of 100 proof vodka.
11:16He might have been better off drinking Baijiu, buddy.
11:19I went from so excited to eat this lamb
11:21to now concerned about all the Baijiu
11:23and the vodka that's on this table.
11:31Cheers.
11:36It's 1,700 RMB, dude, for everything included.
11:39Everything.
11:40This would definitely be worth 1,700 RMB.
11:44Look at how many people we're feeding.
11:46We're going to have leftover food, too.
11:48Do you throw in the cow pussy as like a bonus?
11:52While cooking Rangoon's earlier,
11:54Pong Zai offered to serve us a very unique side dish at lunch.
11:58Newbie?
12:00Oh my god, Pong Zai.
12:01We're trying to make crab Rangoon's
12:03and he breaks out a cow vagina.
12:07I mean, hey, if you try my Rangoon's,
12:09I'll at least take a bite of the cow box.
12:12Good for health?
12:15It's just not healthy.
12:17How many bowls did this cow sleep with?
12:19I need to know her body count before I eat her vagina.
12:24Never been kissed, never been touched
12:28until me and Pong Zai threw it in a pot
12:32and boiled it for a half hour.
12:34We're going to be the first one to eat this cow's box.
12:37But something must have gotten lost in translation
12:39as it sure didn't look like any female private parts I've seen.
12:43This looks like the head of a human penis.
12:45I don't think I can do this. This is insane.
12:47I thought I was eating vagina.
12:49I did not sign up for literally what looks to be a human penis.
13:08It's a dick.
13:12The whole time he's been saying Niu Bien and not Niu.
13:18Oh, so the whole time this was cow penis.
13:20Obviously females don't have a long thing like this hanging out,
13:24but I thought it was the internal fallopian tubes.
13:27All right, well, one cock, everybody knows the rules.
13:33It doesn't have an off-putting taste, really,
13:36but the texture is really fucking with me
13:39because I assume this would be the same texture of my own dick if it was cooked.
13:42Tried the dick, now I'm going to try the ball
13:45and then I can say I'm done.
13:47Definitely going to need to dip that in the sauce.
13:51Niu Bi.
13:52I tell them it's the best lamb I've had in my life
13:54and they immediately are feeding me cow dick and balls.
13:57I'm like, come on, let's keep the good vibes going.
14:00Hao Che, Hao Che, let's go.
14:03They just made me eat a lamb dick,
14:07actually a cow dick, which is a lot bigger.
14:10So I have a block of blue cheese that I was maybe going to use.
14:13I haven't used it yet.
14:14Everyone has to eat a chunk of blue cheese.
14:16This is not a fair trade at all.
14:18So you've seen it online before?
14:27This dude just had the nerve to tell me that the texture of blue cheese is a little weird.
14:31How about the texture of penis and balls I just ate?
14:35I did not expect Pongzai's buddy to start spreading blue cheese on pieces of cow cock.
14:40Blue cheese dick?
14:42Listen, I'm circumcised.
14:44I don't get blue cheese on my dick.
14:46I need a slice of balls because I can call it the blue balls.
14:49Blue balls sandwich.
14:50Bowl testicles, blue cheese, and a little bit of Chinese bread.
14:55Way better than the dick.
15:00Blue balls were a smash hit.
15:04All right, we're going to have blue ball vendors here soon.
15:08To repay Pongzai for the extravagant feast of lamb,
15:11cow penis, and vodka,
15:14I offered to help him film a quick commercial for his business.
15:42Mmm.
15:45Welcome to the lamb van, baby.
15:48If you live in the Hebei area, within 150 kilometers of this location,
15:54Pongzai and his lamb van can pull up and cook you the best lamb of your life.
15:591700 RMB, all inclusive.
16:02He pulls up in the lamb van, he cooks the lamb,
16:06and you and, like, 20 of your friends get to have the best meal of your life.
16:11And if you pay an extra 100 RMB, you also get a giant cow penis.
16:17Yo, I got to shout out Bert, who's been filming this whole thing.
16:21I'm in China solo, so he's been a huge help.
16:24He has a YouTube channel of his own.
16:26Bert digs this?
16:27Yes.
16:28Yes.
16:29And shout out my guy Mike.
16:30This guy's Chinese is on point.
16:32So if he wasn't here, we wouldn't be doing a lot of communicating with Pongzai.
16:37We'd probably just strictly be drinking the entire time and not talking to each other.
16:41So shout out Mike, appreciate you, and appreciate you, Bert.
16:46You guys have been crushing it.
16:51Then we all went for a casual afternoon stroll through the beautiful farm fields of Hebei.
17:02To be honest, I think we'll be very successful.
17:07Beautiful.
17:08This beer is very good.
17:11Very good.
17:13Where we sadly had to say our final farewell.
17:16The haters said this couldn't be done.
17:20The haters said, no, you know, now USA goes one way, China goes the other.
17:26I said, nah, nah, nah, I got some connections in Jianguo,
17:29and I'm so happy to reconnect.
17:39Dude, you always got to check in on your brothers.
17:41If you're watching this at home, always check in on your brothers.
17:44Lost track of beers, that's not the important thing.
17:48The important thing is that I didn't lose track of you.
17:59Cheers.
18:00Cheers.
18:29Cheers.
18:30Cheers.
18:59It's so beautiful so we came to Hebei.
19:14Welcome to Hebei.
19:16I'm here, I'm here.
19:17I'm Wang Hongbei.