The Wonton Don | Donnie Does
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00:00Hey, how are you?
00:01Greetings from the Shanghai Airport.
00:03Over the river and through the smog to Pengzai's house we go.
00:07Yep, that's right, we got a reunion coming up.
00:12Four years ago, I traveled to rural China to meet up with Pengzai,
00:16a Chinese internet sensation known for his drinking prowess and sage wisdom.
00:24We hit it off, and over just two days, formed a lifelong bond of friendship.
00:30Are you crying?
00:33However, shortly after our time together, COVID-19 swept across the planet,
00:38prompting US and China to close their borders,
00:41and leaving Pengzai and I stuck a world apart.
00:46While we were separated, US-China relations deteriorated significantly,
00:51and I was concerned to see Pengzai posting less and less on social media.
00:56So once China reopened its borders to tourists,
00:59I was determined to return to Hebei, China and check in on my long-lost brother.
01:04Alright, now we just hop in a cab and we head like an hour out into the countryside.
01:14After checking into our hotel, it was time to find out if global turmoil
01:18and anti-foreigner propaganda had extinguished the spark of our friendship,
01:23or if our boozy bro-ship remained unbreakable.
01:30Pengzai, China
01:36Ah yeah, so Pengzai is parked in front of our hotel right now.
01:40He's going to take us out to a donkey restaurant.
01:43Because Pengzai loves his donkey, and also, Hebei, I think is the donkey capital of China.
01:50It's right here.
01:51The king had returned.
01:53Hey!
01:58It was like we had seen each other yesterday.
02:07Dude, Pengzai must be selling a lot of lambs. These are nice wheels.
02:13That was the last video I filmed in China before I left.
02:16Now he's a lamb salesman.
02:24Can you ask him just how have lamb sales been going?
02:33The lamb season, yes. Yeah, lamb's always been a summer meat of mine.
02:40He got a drink, man. He got a drink.
02:44Cheers.
02:54I think that's what we ate the last time I saw him too.
02:58I mean, I recall he actually fed you donkey.
03:10Oh, and they have a donkey.
03:18He's the boss. A donkey head?
03:21Should we get one?
03:23I mean, I can eat it.
03:31Yeah, let's do it. Let's get the smallest donkey head they have.
03:34The one that's only for six people.
03:36Or unless they have like a four-person donkey head.
03:39Is this the head that we're going to have?
03:43Alright, that is not a small head, but I guess that's small for donkey standards.
03:49Dude, this is intense.
03:51I know eating a donkey head might rub some people the wrong way,
03:54but it's part of the culture in this province of China,
03:57so I was in no spot to object or judge.
04:00This video might end up getting me fired just because my boss, like, loves horses.
04:05Like, he's obsessed with horses.
04:07It's a donkey. It's a huge difference between a donkey and a horse, guys.
04:10Come on. The rest is up to you.
04:14Do you want to try some innards?
04:16I think I'm good with the head.
04:20He's excited.
04:23Alright, I might need to mix in a hoon.
04:28While we awaited our donkey feast, I had time to catch up with Pongzai over a few beers.
04:33So, what have you been doing for fun since I last saw him?
04:40Making money, baby. Selling lambs and stacking grands.
04:46I don't spend a lot of time on Twitter anymore.
04:51I'm busy with my business, so I don't have much time.
04:55Last year, I would occasionally go up and read some private messages and comments.
05:03The more I read, the more I can't get away from it.
05:06Yeah, it's very addictive.
05:07Can I tell him that his American fans miss him on Twitter?
05:12He is an inspiration to a lot of people around the world.
05:32China, I assume they don't want to promote drinking videos. Is that why you stopped?
05:42If you show it on a short video platform, it won't have a good impact.
06:13When we first started talking about this, this is what we did.
06:19Through this competition, we donated some things to people in need.
06:26Thank you.
06:27Cheers!
06:32Has he learned any new drinking tricks?
06:49It was quickly apparent that during his social media hiatus,
06:53Pongzai hadn't lost a step.
06:55He could still light cigarettes with a finger dipped in burning baijiu.
06:59Oh yeah, you're supposed to use your finger.
07:04Boom, done.
07:05Cheers.
07:06Okay, I'm not drinking this whole thing. I'm just going to take a sip.
07:11Jesus Christ.
07:16Yeah, that's going to be a three-sipper.
07:17Can you still open the beer?
07:20He could still use chopsticks to open beers with ease.
07:26Dude, that's incredible.
07:27And his tornado chugging skills were still as dominant as ever.
07:31Oh, that's a strong tornado.
07:35Wow. Guy hasn't lost a step.
07:38Let's see if I still got it.
07:40I, on the other hand, was in desperate need of some practice.
07:44Okay.
07:47Another broken client.
07:49I'm going to have to break like six chopsticks.
07:52You won't find a more patient teacher than Pongzai, though.
07:55And he was happy to bring me back up to speed.
08:03Do you want him to give you one more lesson, or do you just want to go for it?
08:06No, I mean, I learned this the last time.
08:11No, I can't do this anymore.
08:15Tornadoes are a young man's game.
08:19Yeah, no, no.
08:20Hey, that was not due to your teaching.
08:22I had it going.
08:23I just, I didn't, I didn't commit.
08:25All right.
08:26Let's go.
08:27Let's go.
08:28Let's go.
08:29Let's go.
08:30Let's go.
08:31Let's go.
08:32Let's go.
08:33Let's go.
08:34Let's go.
08:35Let's go.
08:36Let's go.
08:37Let's go.
08:38Let's go.
08:39Okay.
08:43I'm good.
08:44I'm good.
08:45I'm fine.
08:47Pongzai promised to help me overcome my tornado struggles.
08:50But first, we had a lot of donkey to eat.
08:57Donkey intestines?
08:58Yes.
08:59Large intestines.
09:00Okay.
09:01Here we go.
09:03You had it four years ago.
09:06As far as intestines I've had, those are actually not bad.
09:09Those are great.
09:11Well, they're not great, but they're better than cow intestines.
09:14Is this the head?
09:22Are we about to cut the bow?
09:33I mean, you could show this to Americans.
09:34They would have no idea they were eating donkey head.
09:39Maybe they would.
09:43I just want to get a look at this thing.
09:46Yeah, that's a donkey.
09:49Okay.
09:50All right.
09:51Okay.
09:55Donkey nose might be the best part of the fucking donkey.
09:58I know YouTube's not going to be thrilled about me posting a donkey eating video,
10:02but this is part of the culture here.
10:04Ready?
10:05Cheers.
10:06Cheers.
10:09Are you full?
10:10Not yet.
10:13Okay.
10:14All right.
10:15We're getting kind of full.
10:16We still have a lot of donkey.
10:18Oh, okay.
10:21All right.
10:22No.
10:23Okay.
10:24So he's still going to be pounding donkey for another hour?
10:27Hour?
10:28Oh, wow.
10:29Who's going to eat the brain?
10:33Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:35All right.
10:36I'm not going to get, like, mad lambs disease.
10:43Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be re-upping on that.
10:45Ooh, what is this?
10:50Not as good as cow tongue.
10:51Nothing cleanses the palate after eating an entire donkey head and a piece of watermelon.
10:58Okay.
10:59Okay.
11:01I should probably note that while some celebrities surround themselves with yes men,
11:05Pongzai travels around with a posse of okay men.
11:08Okay.
11:09Okay.
11:10Okay.
11:11Okay.
11:12Okay.
11:13Okay.
11:14Okay.
11:15Okay.
11:16Okay.
11:17Okay.
11:18Okay.
11:19And one oh yeah man.
11:20Oh yeah.
11:21Oh yeah.
11:22Oh yeah.
11:23Oh yeah.
11:24The head okay man had been streaming the entire dinner to 200,000 followers.
11:31Oh yeah.
11:33Yeah.
11:35Okay.
11:36Oh yeah.
11:38And I was curious as to how he had gotten so popular.
11:41How did he build up his following?
11:43So he pretends to be a mentally challenged person?
11:45Like, it's a joke?
12:01That's a heartwarming story.
12:02Hey, see?
12:03Americans and Chinese, we aren't so different.
12:05We all like pretending to be our words for social media followers.
12:09I was starting to get a little hoarse.
12:11I was starting to get a little hooned out, so offered Pongzai some other forms of nicotine.
12:16This is... it's like a... nicotine...
12:19Do you want to try it?
12:21So when you guys were here last time, you tried this one?
12:23Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:26Last time we were at that restaurant, I tried this one.
12:32Oh my god! He's got a jewel!
12:34Oh, this is from last time you were here.
12:36What?
12:37So where did you get this?
12:40I gave him a jewel last time, four years ago, and he still has it.
12:47Let's go. Yeah, this is not going to work.
12:50You could also just tell him that these are like,
12:54the same cigarettes.
12:56The same products, right?
12:58Yeah, I don't smoke.
13:00Isn't it okay to put it in here to eat?
13:01Put it in here, and it's like you just smoked a cigarette,
13:04so it's better for your lungs.
13:06Do you want to try it?
13:07Just pack an Upper Decky.
13:08Oh, alright.
13:09I'll put it here.
13:11Let's drink together.
13:13Ah, yes.
13:14This is my type of baijiu shot, folks.
13:17Now we're cooking.
13:18Okay.
13:19Okay-la.
13:21How does he like the Upper Decky that he just packed?
13:24I think it's pretty good.
13:25It's better than that...
13:27Binglang?
13:28I don't eat binglang.
13:29It's better than that gum candy.
13:33There's a kind of gum candy,
13:34there's a kind of medicine called watermelon frost,
13:36which is similar to that.
13:39Yeah, I mean, it's the cool mint flavor.
13:42Oh, but he didn't mention anything about the nicotine.
13:44He might need to pack a horseshoe with these things.
13:46I need a fucking horseshoe.
13:48By this point in the night, it was clear.
13:50Our bro-ship had officially survived the pandemic.
13:53Last time I left China for like three years,
13:57I could not travel to China.
13:59Chinese people couldn't travel to the U.S.,
14:01so it is great to be back together again.
14:04This is a great help to me.
14:08We are friends, so we should help each other.
14:12If you need anything in the future,
14:13you can contact me anytime.
14:15I will do my best as long as I can.
14:19Four years ago, I came to many media.
14:22There should be ten media in my home.
14:24They all went to my home and interviewed me.
14:29Except for Tony, he didn't come to Taiwan.
14:34He came to China to eat and hang out with me.
14:37So I was very relaxed.
14:40Four years ago, when we first met,
14:42I was drunk that night.
14:45I was very happy.
14:48I was relaxed and happy.
14:50You can tell him I was also very happy.
14:53I was also very drunk.
14:56I was drunk, happy, and relaxed.
14:58So Tony is my friend.
15:02I take him as my real friend.
15:04Thank you.
15:06We are very relaxed together.
15:09Can you tell him thank you for what he said about me?
15:12I would like to let him know that he is also a very good friend.
15:16A very good friend.
15:17Yes.
15:18You don't have to thank me.
15:18We are already very good friends.
15:20Because he didn't come to interview me.
15:21We are like friends.
15:24We eat and drink together.
15:25It's best to be relaxed.
15:27Tony is the best friend in my life.
15:31He is the best foreign friend.
15:33And hey, even if I miss a visit and World War III pops off,
15:37he's still my best friend.
15:39You don't have to translate that.
15:40But yeah, yeah, no, no, no.
15:42But yeah.
15:42I think I know what you're talking about.
15:43Let's have a drink.
15:44Yeah, let's go.
15:45Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers.
15:46Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers.
15:49It's not a big deal.
15:49He'll take care of it.
15:50He'll take care of it.
15:51I'm in Longjiafeng.
15:54OK.
15:55He wants you to tornado.
15:57Oh, I was thinking the same thing.
16:00It was time to prove to Pong Zai I was worthy of his friendship
16:03by finally getting some tornado chugs down the gullet.
16:07Oh, OK.
16:08Teamwork makes the dream work.
16:10OK.
16:11Look at that.
16:12If only America and China worked together,
16:14the things we could accomplish, the things we could pop off.
16:22If he...
16:24You can't do this.
16:26You can't do this.
16:26You just...
16:30Oh.
16:41Hey, at least the beer didn't end up on the floor this time.
16:44OK, OK.
16:45OK.
16:46OK, OK.
16:47OK.
17:01Bianca, Bianca, I want to try again.
17:04OK.
17:05OK.
17:06OK.
17:07OK.
17:13If you don't want the tornado to turn into a volcano,
17:16the key is to spin the bottle when it's already in your mouth.
17:19OK.
17:23Count it.
17:24Count it.
17:25Hey, way faster than I would have chugged a normal beer
17:27without that little twist.
17:28I don't think if I got, like, the full vortex,
17:30but that went down easy.
17:32And we're safe from World War III.
17:33Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:34Every time me and Pongza hang out,
17:36we push back the World War III clock by, like, five years.
17:39Last time we met in 2019, things got a little scary.
17:42It looked like we were heading towards World War III,
17:45and then we linked back up.
17:46We got another five years of world peace, baby.
17:48Let's go.
17:51Oh, that was pretty good.
17:52Let's get in there.
17:53Oh, I see the tornado.
17:54Yep, yep, yep, yep.
17:57Yep.
17:58Yep.
17:59Ah!
18:00Yep.
18:06If he can do this, I'll be very impressed.
18:08Oh, my God, he's about to tornado a Fanta.
18:11Now Pongza was just showing off.
18:13Holy shit, I couldn't do that.
18:15Oh, yeah.
18:16Oh, yeah.
18:17Do you feel OK?
18:28Yeah, those are skills for life.
18:48Oh, no, are you kidding me?
18:50I can't believe some of his followers
18:52would accuse him of drinking fake beers.
18:54Are you kidding me?
18:55Do you know this guy?
18:56This guy was born in the beer, all right?
18:58This guy didn't have a glass of water
19:00until he was 10 years old.
19:09Tell him that even if this video only gets 10 views,
19:13it will still be worth seeing him again.
19:23Pongza had said so many nice things to me.
19:25The least I could do was give him a little gift.
19:27So I put this Cuban in with the frozen pizzas I brought,
19:31so it got a little damaged,
19:33but I think we're just going to give it a little, a snip.
19:36But before we could crank the Cuban,
19:38our waiter showed up with our last course of the night.
19:41This is your hamburg.
19:42Donkey burgers.
19:43Oh, my God.
19:44Oh, my God.
19:45Oh, my Lord.
19:47Oh, my God.
19:52Cheers.
19:54So this is a donkey burger,
19:55so I'm going to have to rate this on the ball scale.
20:00Is this raw garlic?
20:01Yeah, raw garlic.
20:03Okay.
20:04And then you put giant chunks of garlic.
20:07Good.
20:09Throw a little bit of vinegar on there,
20:11it's going to make it even better.
20:13This is probably the only way you would get Americans
20:15to eat donkey in the U.S.
20:18If you put it in like a scallion pancake with some sauce,
20:22that's the best dish of the night.
20:23Listen, the head wasn't bad,
20:25but food's a lot more appetizing
20:27when you're eating it between two pieces of like a scallion pancake
20:31as opposed to eating it off a skull.
20:33Legitimately, very good.
20:36How do you say ball in Chinese?
20:38Chou.
20:39Chou.
20:40This is going to be like a 3.9 chou.
20:43The bread is just phenomenal, though.
20:45How would you rate this?
20:491 to 5.
20:51If it's 1 to 10, it's 7.
20:56But if it's 1 to 5, it's 3.
20:59The mathematics might not quite work out.
21:11Dude, we have similar tastes.
21:13I was about to say this bread is like a 5 out of 5.
21:19After the burgers,
21:21Pongzai was finally full,
21:23and it was time to go.
21:25Listen, that was a great meal.
21:31So now, we're going to smoke a Cuban cigar.
21:33It's going to be his first Cuban.
21:35Pongzai is just pre-gaming with a cigarette.
21:38Oh, and we're going to smoke a Cuban cigar.
21:40We're going to smoke a Cuban cigar.
21:42We're going to smoke a Cuban cigar.
21:44We're going to smoke a Cuban cigar.
21:46We're going to smoke a Cuban cigar.
21:48Oh, and we're going to smoke a Cuban cigar.
21:50We're going to smoke a Cuban cigar.
21:52Thank you.
22:04Oh, yes.
22:05Is that Pongzai?
22:06Yes.
22:07Oh, wow!
22:08Awesome!
22:091.8 to 1.8.
22:13and I was honored that Pongzai seemed just as happy as I was to be reunited again.
22:18Does he remember the song I sang for him last time at karaoke?
22:43When I sang that song, I was already in tears.
22:47It's too emotional, too emotional.
22:48It was very, very emotional for me.
22:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:51So, tomorrow, you can make lamb, and I can make a little bit of American wonton.
23:01But now it's time to say our goodbyes and get to bed.
23:04My friend.
23:05My friend.
23:06Yes, my friend.
23:07Tomorrow.
23:08Tomorrow.
23:09Tomorrow.
23:10Until tomorrow.
23:11Lamb day.
23:12As tomorrow, we had lambs to roast, rangoons to fry, and tornadoes to chug.
23:23That's a cool shirt.
23:24What does it say?
23:25The cum music?
23:26Boner jams.
23:27That's that Playboy cum music.
23:29Thank you.
23:30Yeah.
23:42Absolute scenes happening outside of our hotel room.
24:13Okay.
24:18Dude, they fucking, they fucking get after it in Ebe.
24:22My god.