We Were ATTACKED on Our Gorilla Trek
The Wonton Don | Donnie Does
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SportsTranscript
00:00 (eerie music)
00:02 - Guys, we gotta go.
00:06 We're gonna get attacked by a wasp.
00:07 - Yeah, I just got bit.
00:08 Fuck.
00:09 Oh, I'm being attacked.
00:10 (woman screaming)
00:13 (upbeat music)
00:19 Morning.
00:21 It's about 6 a.m.
00:23 Heading up to the lodge for breakfast.
00:27 And the gorilla trek begins.
00:29 Ooh, it's a foggy one.
00:33 Look at that.
00:34 This is about to be some gorillas in the mist type shit.
00:37 I will say, last night, Billy sleeps
00:39 with the Wonder Woman theme song
00:40 just blasting out of his headphones.
00:43 Like, it was tough for me to fall asleep.
00:45 He also snores very loudly.
00:47 But I got back at him by farting inside his mosquito net.
00:51 (snorting)
00:52 So I think we're even now.
00:54 (upbeat music)
00:57 Today we'd be trekking through windy, impenetrable forest.
01:02 Home to half of the world's population
01:04 of highly endangered mountain gorillas.
01:06 You tell me something's impenetrable,
01:08 I'm going to try to penetrate it.
01:10 (laughing)
01:10 That's just like a rule of thumb.
01:12 Billy's out of the boot, folks.
01:14 He's off the beers.
01:16 He's a new man.
01:17 Okay, so smoking, eating, and drinking not permitted.
01:20 - Doesn't say anything about vaping.
01:22 (laughing)
01:23 - Doesn't say anything about ripping upper deckies.
01:25 (laughing)
01:27 (upbeat music)
01:53 - I take this initiative of welcoming you here in Uganda.
01:57 I understand this may have been your long term dream,
01:59 planning to visit the mountain gorillas,
02:02 planning to visit the pearl of Africa,
02:04 but finally you are already here.
02:06 I believe your dream will come true.
02:09 (upbeat music)
02:11 - Are we ready for the walk?
02:13 - Yes.
02:14 - We shall follow I myself.
02:16 - All right.
02:17 (upbeat music)
02:20 - Each troop has two silverbacks.
02:22 One's the dominant, one's the beta.
02:26 I'm going to see if I can make this fight.
02:28 Michelangelo is going to try that with me and you.
02:31 - So gorillas, from 13 years and above,
02:35 it's the age when the male gorilla
02:38 starts changing its back to silver.
02:43 And the females tend to leave their mother group
02:48 peacefully when they reach the age of six,
02:52 because they don't want to commit incest.
02:55 The fact that they have the instinct
02:57 which tells them that you can't sleep with your relatives.
03:00 They are more or less like us.
03:02 - Yeah, except for Alabama.
03:04 - Yes.
03:06 (upbeat music)
03:08 (upbeat music)
03:11 - To help us find the gorilla troops,
03:20 our trek leader was in constant communication
03:22 with trackers deep in the forest.
03:24 - We shall keep communicating with them
03:27 and for us we shall keep moving
03:29 to the direction they are telling us to use.
03:31 I think now at this point, we may increase on our pace
03:35 because we want to reach to where they are telling us
03:38 a bit earlier.
03:39 Is it okay?
03:40 - Yeah.
03:41 - Okay.
03:42 (upbeat music)
03:44 - The trail was packed with all sorts of wildlife,
03:54 including safari ants.
03:56 - I'm sure the only way you can stop them
03:57 is dig a hole, put gasoline in it,
04:00 dig a trench, pour gasoline and light it on fire.
04:03 - And snake-sized earthworms.
04:05 Dude, you could catch like a shark with that
04:07 if you use this bait.
04:08 - Yeah, they're fishing with that.
04:10 - Yeah, they use them as baits here for fishing.
04:13 - I'm not worried about those worms.
04:14 I'm worried about like tapeworms, ringworms,
04:17 parasitic worms.
04:18 This is so cool.
04:21 We're just deep in the rainforest.
04:23 Unbelievable.
04:25 I could really use a walking stick.
04:28 Billy is here to coach American football in Kampala.
04:32 - Yeah.
04:33 - You're coaching American football?
04:35 - Yeah.
04:36 - Should we join the two?
04:37 - Yeah, we could.
04:39 - Probably need more tables.
04:40 - If you can track gorillas,
04:42 I think you could play American football.
04:44 - I think I could.
04:45 - Yeah.
04:46 Little does she know I have a broken ankle.
04:48 (upbeat music)
04:51 Here's a little thought exercise.
04:57 If I blew a vape cloud into a gorilla's face,
05:00 would I get more or less hate than Logan Paul
05:03 when he filmed a dead guy in Japan?
05:05 (heavy breathing)
05:07 I think there's a lot of people out there that
05:09 appreciate animals more than humans.
05:13 So I might actually get more hate.
05:15 - Don't vape on a gorilla.
05:17 - I'm not.
05:18 It was a thought exercise.
05:20 Not an actual exercise.
05:21 (upbeat music)
05:25 All right, I'm sweating seeds.
05:28 We should encounter the gorillas within the next hour.
05:32 - You know, the movement of gorillas, no one can tell.
05:36 - Yeah.
05:37 - Because you may find when we reach them,
05:40 they're in a flat area, a good area for viewing.
05:44 Then the moment you start viewing, they start moving.
05:46 - As a wise man once said,
05:48 there ain't no valley low enough,
05:50 there ain't no mountain high enough
05:51 to stop me from seeing gorillas.
05:53 - You know better.
05:55 - Yep.
05:55 - And so, we should expect anything.
05:59 - Yeah.
06:01 - We don't want our children to be demoralized though.
06:03 We are here for the whole day.
06:06 I ask them to keep with the positive attitude
06:09 and the determination, only that.
06:11 The rest you leave to nature to take its course.
06:14 - I'm pretty nervous.
06:18 My ankle is the most surprising thing
06:21 with this whole ordeal, hiking about five miles.
06:24 You know, my ankle hasn't given out, which is great news.
06:29 (upbeat music)
06:31 - Donnie farted in my netting last night.
06:35 So I'm gonna rip a fart that he used to walk through.
06:38 Oh, that's silent but deadly.
06:40 He's gonna walk right there.
06:44 - Check out this elephant, man.
06:45 - Yeah.
06:48 We've come across the trackers.
06:54 That means we're very, very close to the gorillas.
06:57 - Yeah, when you see a human gorilla ahead of us,
07:01 you know we are near the gorillas.
07:04 So he's telling me that they left gorillas a bit ahead.
07:07 He came here because down there,
07:08 there was no reception for us to communicate.
07:11 It went off 'cause they are in the valley.
07:13 So there's one tracker trying to block.
07:18 Then others are still looking for the second elephant.
07:21 So he will now take us to where he has left them.
07:26 Oh boy, we're gonna see gorillas.
07:28 The thing is, the silverbacks are the only ones
07:34 that charge and fight,
07:36 but the female gorillas could also easily beat your ass.
07:39 Do you think a female gorilla might jack us up?
07:41 - I mean, a chimpanzee could beat you up.
07:43 - Yeah, well chimps are different.
07:44 - Can't believe Billy's doing this with his ankle.
07:50 - I'm on a lot of painkillers.
07:52 - Okay.
07:53 - Oh.
07:54 Shit.
08:00 You okay?
08:01 - Ah, the ankle is made this far,
08:04 but that might have just done it in.
08:06 You literally just got my ankle getting smoked
08:10 like right on camera.
08:11 - Let us prepare ourselves.
08:13 For those who would wish to smoke,
08:15 let us have it here.
08:17 Because when with gorillas, we don't do any of the above.
08:21 - You can crank hoons right here?
08:23 - You can do it here.
08:24 Before we go to gorillas.
08:27 - You may have heard of gorillas in the mist.
08:30 Have you ever heard of gorillas in the clouds?
08:32 - We shall get our masks ready.
08:35 Ever since the outbreak of corona,
08:38 we deal with them with our masks on.
08:42 - Dr. Fauci got to the gorillas.
08:44 - We shall leave our walking sticks behind
08:46 because they tend to scare gorillas.
08:49 They have good memory of those days
08:52 when people used to enter in the forest hunting.
08:55 So when they see you with this walking stick,
08:58 they may think you're an enemy.
09:01 Other people are still looking for the other silverback
09:04 and the members, but we shall start viewing this one.
09:08 For those who are ready,
09:10 you can move ahead and follow Timothy.
09:13 - After a strenuous two hours of trekking,
09:16 I finally set eyes on my first gorilla.
09:18 Oh my God.
09:21 There's a gorilla.
09:22 (gorilla howling)
09:24 Oh my God, the baby doesn't look real.
09:27 (gorilla howling)
09:29 (mysterious music)
09:32 They were majestic,
09:57 and I was completely hypnotized by their beauty.
10:00 But I was shaken out of my trance
10:02 when our guides started to get worried
10:04 about some unwanted visitors.
10:06 - I see there are wasps.
10:08 Hope no one's afraid.
10:09 They infect repellent.
10:12 - Attracts wasps?
10:13 - It attracts wasps.
10:14 These wasps are going to disturb us.
10:17 - Guys, we gotta go.
10:19 We're getting attacked by wasps.
10:20 Wait, but no one has even been bit.
10:23 - Let us come because one has just found me.
10:26 - Yeah, one was on your face.
10:28 - Did you get stung again?
10:29 - No.
10:30 I think let me move a bit up.
10:32 - You can follow her.
10:34 Just follow her.
10:35 Let us run.
10:36 Let us follow her.
10:36 - I think we are being attacked by wasps.
10:39 But I still had no proof of that
10:41 until one landed on my face.
10:43 Oh shit, I think I got one on me.
10:45 Fuck.
10:47 Yeah, I just got bit.
10:53 Fuck.
10:55 (intense music)
10:57 We were under attack.
10:59 Shit.
11:01 Yep, I'm being attacked.
11:02 (woman screams)
11:05 Oh.
11:14 Dude, I'm getting shredded.
11:17 (woman screams)
11:24 (man shouts)
11:26 They were everywhere.
11:31 Even stuck in my mask.
11:32 Fuck.
11:41 I'm getting eaten alive.
11:45 - Oh.
11:46 (intense music)
11:49 (man shouts)
11:52 - Fuck.
11:53 (man shouts)
11:56 - You got stung, Don?
12:00 - Yeah, like 20 times.
12:02 - Holy shit.
12:03 - My entire skull just got bit.
12:06 Oh yeah, there's still all in my hair.
12:08 Woo.
12:09 My head's on fire.
12:10 Got stung, I think, 10 times on my skull.
12:13 On both hands.
12:16 On my back.
12:17 On my legs.
12:19 What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
12:21 Although, these are African wasps.
12:23 Maybe they will kill me.
12:25 I'm gonna keep running.
12:26 Luckily, it turned out they were biting us
12:28 and not stinging us.
12:29 So we didn't have to worry about their venom.
12:31 I should've yelled louder at you guys.
12:34 Donny, any words?
12:35 - You guys seen the movie "Congo"?
12:37 Where they go and find that secret killer type of gorilla
12:41 and then everything goes wrong?
12:44 That's what this is reminding me of.
12:46 The gorillas led us into a trap.
12:48 They had that planned.
12:50 Now, I haven't been stung by a bee in like six years.
12:55 I just got fucking 12 wasp stings
12:59 in the span of five minutes.
13:00 Which I'm still pulling wasps out of my head.
13:03 Well, maybe we can like circle around
13:06 and see the gorillas from that side.
13:09 I'd still like to spend a little more time with them.
13:12 I was like in the process,
13:13 I was about to have like a transcendent moment
13:15 when the gorilla was turning around with the baby.
13:17 It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
13:19 And then, boom, first the wasps just landed on my shades.
13:24 And next thing you know, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
13:27 Everyone's screaming and running.
13:29 I think it will make for funny content.
13:32 I mean, if you want to see gorillas
13:35 watch "National Geographic,"
13:36 if you want to see a bunch of idiots get attacked by wasps,
13:40 tune into the "Wantan Don."
13:43 Holy, thank God I got out of there.
13:45 Are you still getting bit?
13:46 - One just landed.
13:47 I probably got like four or five bites.
13:50 - I'm getting a lot of mixed signals
13:52 because we were all told to put on insect repellent
13:54 so like we don't get bit by mosquitoes and get malaria.
13:57 And now we're being told that wasps are attracted
13:59 to insect repellent.
14:01 Fucking doomed if you do, doomed if you don't.
14:04 Oh, Donnie, you know what it is?
14:07 Your vape.
14:08 Billy tried blaming the attack on my vape,
14:10 but I wasn't buying it.
14:12 Why would you even risk it?
14:13 Why would you even risk it?
14:14 - You know, if you get stopped, dude.
14:16 (laughing)
14:17 Dude, I swear to God.
14:19 Dude, I haven't even got...
14:21 Get away from me, dude.
14:22 I'm not...
14:23 - Billy smells like vape.
14:26 - Don't, stop funny, dude.
14:28 - Okay, I'll stop.
14:31 - I hope you get attacked again.
14:33 - We weren't about to let a wasp attack
14:34 ruin our gorilla trek, though.
14:36 So continued on in search of the other troop.
14:41 - Almost went down.
14:43 If the person who did my x-ray could see
14:46 what I'm putting my ankle through right now,
14:49 they would be horrified.
14:50 Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on over there?
14:57 And after about 20 minutes,
14:59 stumbled upon two rambunctious juveniles
15:01 wrestling in the underbrush.
15:03 (animals grunting)
15:06 Two juveniles playing, tracking them up here.
15:26 (gentle music)
15:31 (water splashing)
15:33 Maybe these two will take us to their dad.
15:42 And finally got eyes on our first silverback.
15:48 We just got eyes on a silverback.
15:50 Oh my God.
15:50 He's gonna be our starting defensive tackle.
15:52 That thing is giant.
15:54 Who is spending some quality time with his son.
15:57 He's grooming his father right now.
15:59 Up, up, up.
16:00 All the wasp bites were worth it,
16:09 as this was truly the most memorable
16:11 wildlife experience of my life.
16:13 (upbeat music)
16:15 What if we grunt the wrong thing?
16:37 (upbeat music)
16:40 (upbeat music)
16:44 (upbeat music)
16:46 - J.C. is back.
17:12 Oh my God, that was a wet one.
17:14 The female just ripped ass.
17:16 I've been ripping ass a lot this trip too.
17:19 Oh, she heard me.
17:21 After observing them for an hour,
17:29 the rain started to come down hard
17:31 and the troop disappeared into the bush to seek shelter.
17:34 (speaking in foreign language)
17:40 - Guys, I think we can end it here.
17:42 - All right.
17:43 - So let us put on our rain gears
17:46 and we'll find our way out.
17:50 - It's coming down.
17:51 Time to suit up and get out of here.
17:53 Walking back in a torrential downpour was no easy task
18:01 and we all ate shit multiple times, but we made it.
18:04 Yo, we had torrential downpours the entire walk back.
18:09 Couldn't even take out the camera.
18:12 Everything is soaked, but the footage is secured.
18:15 That was a once in a lifetime experience.
18:18 Every time I think the rain's gonna stop,
18:19 it just starts pounding down again.
18:22 - The rain is different here.
18:24 It just doesn't stop.
18:25 Like harsh rain in America with big raindrops
18:28 usually goes away quickly.
18:30 This was just hammering us the whole time.
18:32 Like I was soaked through.
18:34 I might as well have just jumped in a pool right now.
18:37 - How's your ankle doing?
18:38 - My ankle hurts like a motherfucker.
18:40 I'll run down.
18:41 I'm hitting double digit local beers.
18:44 - Yeah.
18:45 - Just can't go away.
18:46 And then we gotta start thinking about beating Kenya.
18:49 - Yeah, I think you gotta go back in the boot for a bit.
18:52 - Yeah, I do.
18:53 - Enough monkey business.
18:55 Beat Kenya.
18:55 - Look for nice firms where you can get this certificate.
19:00 I start by congratulating William Cotter.
19:06 (applause)
19:08 - Saved us from the wasps.
19:15 - Wonderful and gentle.
19:17 - Or saved himself from the wasps.
19:21 Believe it or not, I think Billy may have been right
19:23 about wasps being attracted to vapes.
19:25 But anyways, now that we could cross seeing gorillas
19:27 in the wild off our bucket list,
19:29 we could devote all our attention
19:31 to coaching the Ugandan football team.
19:33 Tune in February 28th for the premiere
19:36 of Last Chance Uganda.
19:38 (whooshing)
19:39 (upbeat music)
19:42 (upbeat music)
19:44 (upbeat music)
19:47 (upbeat music)
19:50 (upbeat music)
19:52 (upbeat music)
19:55 (upbeat music)
19:57 (upbeat music)