The Wonton Don | Donnie Does
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00:00Your life depends on this play!
00:02You got this, alright?
00:03Do not be afraid!
00:04The Kenyans were up to their old tricks, if you will say.
00:08Guys, stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
00:14We got a good day for some football.
00:16Did I get any sleep last night?
00:18No.
00:19And you know whose fault that was?
00:21Ah.
00:22A guy named Stephen Okeng, president of Ugandan football.
00:25Last night the team called me saying they had been waiting for a bus to Kenya for eight hours without it showing up.
00:30They're treating us like little kids.
00:32When we ask about the bus, they're like, oh no, he's coming, he's coming.
00:36And that's all.
00:37And as it turned out, the reason there wasn't a bus was because Stephen Okeng had never booked one.
00:42Just call Stephen, I've told him, man, you are just playing with us here.
00:46Even though we had given him 2.7k USD to help make this game go smoothly.
00:51To let those guys just sit around for 12 hours while you keep on coming back to them going, hey, it's coming, it's coming, the bus is coming.
01:00Despicable.
01:02As a result, I had stayed up all night working with the coaches and players to find them taxis to the border.
01:07You just don't know what you did for these kids.
01:11And then a bus from the border to the field.
01:13We can get on these buses and they bring us to Nairobi right away.
01:17And it looks like they're going to make it.
01:20We got you down, we on our way, baby boy.
01:22Listen, our team's not going to be well rested.
01:24Get some sleep.
01:26Billy, you can't get no sleep up in here like this.
01:29Billy's not going to be well rested.
01:31We were dealing with a storm, drinking beers till probably 3.30am.
01:37But despite all the adversity, the team was currently in a bus to Nairobi.
01:43And it looked like we were going to have ourselves a goddamn football game.
01:47Where are the confidence levels at?
01:50Hi, we have a team.
01:52You know, about five hours ago, we didn't know if we were going to have a team.
01:57But we have a team.
01:58So, we're going to execute.
02:00We're going to beat Kenya.
02:01Did they say if Honcho is coming?
02:03If Honcho's not coming, that means I might have to play.
02:07Dude, me playing this game on zero sleep and two Adderall is like a scary thought.
02:12Okay, we are on the way to the field.
02:14Billy, is some part of you excited for this game?
02:17I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous as f***.
02:19Well, you're playing for your job.
02:21Yeah.
02:22If we lose fair and square, everyone puts forth a valiant effort.
02:25That's better than the last game.
02:28We've got a lot of cards stacked against us.
02:31But, any given Sunday in Nairobi.
02:36Upon arriving at the field, we reconnected with some of the Kenyan players we met at the last game.
02:41It's nice to talk to you before the game because I turned into a psychopath during the game.
02:45So, people know I'm a nice person.
02:47Yeah.
02:48The last time you played Uganda, though, did you notice a huge improvement from before?
02:52Oh, yes.
02:53You guys did this for two weeks.
02:55Bro.
02:56It's pretty good.
02:57It's pretty good.
02:58It's pretty good.
02:59It's pretty good.
03:00It's pretty good.
03:01It's pretty good.
03:02You guys did this for two weeks.
03:03Bro.
03:04It's impressive.
03:05If he loses today, he loses his job back in the U.S.
03:09So, he might just have to stay out here.
03:12They said they're going to fire me.
03:13If you don't score any points, you're kicked off the show.
03:16We'll let you guys score four times if you let us score once.
03:22So, I just talked to the Kenyan coach.
03:25Something I realized when I was walking the field trying to visualize the game.
03:30There is goal posts in the end zone.
03:33Does the end zone go all the way back to this line?
03:35Yes.
03:36Holy.
03:37Honestly, in the best interest of keeping my job, it's very hard to score when there is a goal post in the end zone.
03:45Yeah, that is insane.
03:46Talked to the Kenyan coach, and we're going to play on an 80-yard field.
03:49It's a beautiful day for football.
03:52It's just a shame these Ugandan guys are going to be beat up from last night.
03:57I mean, I am beat up from last night.
03:59One thing we hopefully wouldn't have to worry about this game, though, was officiating.
04:03So, one of the refs is our guy, Jameson.
04:05One of the other refs is this dude, Malik.
04:07His parents, I think, work at the Kenyan Embassy.
04:09And he's in AWL.
04:11So, you're a fan of, pardon my take?
04:13Yeah.
04:14Which could help us.
04:15I knew about this before when I heard Billy was coming for me, too.
04:17Nice.
04:18And you were like, I happen to be in Kenya then?
04:20Nice.
04:21How many games have you refed in the past?
04:23I did high school flag in the U.S.
04:25A couple of other stoolies showed up at the game, too.
04:28Did you guys fly in for the game?
04:30No.
04:31I was on the flight yesterday.
04:32I followed both of you guys on Twitter.
04:33So, I was going through, and then we leave tomorrow on a safari.
04:37Okay.
04:38Yeah.
04:39But I saw that you guys were here, and we thought we might swing by for a game.
04:41You look pretty athletic if you want to play for Uganda.
04:43Anyone in the opposite?
04:46And while they wouldn't be able to play for us, they volunteered to be the line judges,
04:49so I wouldn't get stuck doing it again like last game.
04:52We couldn't leave anything to chance, though.
04:54So, I decided to do a little spying on the Kenyan team, too, as they warmed up.
04:58Oh, this is the spot.
05:00This is the spot.
05:01I'm also one of the only white guys here wearing a yellow part of my cheesesteak polo.
05:06I don't know how inconspicuous I can be.
05:10Jesus Christ.
05:12All right, that was not inconspicuous at all.
05:15This chair is broken.
05:19I think my cover's blown.
05:22From what I saw, the Kenyan players didn't look too menacing.
05:25But there was a lot of them.
05:27Meanwhile, it was now 3.30 p.m., and our Ugandan squad was nowhere to be seen.
05:32And if they didn't show up within the next 15 minutes,
05:35we wouldn't have enough time to play a full game before the sunset.
05:40But just as I was starting to lose faith,
05:44a bus pulled onto the field.
05:46Dude!
05:47Yes!
05:48Let's go!
05:50Let's go, boys!
05:51Let's fucking go!
05:53Praise the Lord, they had arrived.
05:55Let's go, boys!
05:58Yes!
05:59Shruti, my guy, I'm so happy to see you.
06:02Lloyd, the hero!
06:04The hero that we needed!
06:06I'm so happy you guys could make it.
06:08How are you?
06:09I'm good. How are you guys?
06:10I'm proud of you guys for making this journey.
06:12As I've said earlier, the Ugandan football season is just these two matches against Kenya.
06:17Let's go, George!
06:19And the players sure as hell weren't going to miss their last chance to play a football game all year.
06:24Woo!
06:25Oh, shit!
06:26Bad news for Kenya!
06:28We showed up!
06:30I felt like I was in the middle of some, like, 90s sports movie
06:33where, you know, the day has been saved and the game is going to happen
06:37because that's what we were living.
06:39Yo, what up, boss?
06:40What's up with you?
06:41I'm so happy you made it.
06:42Let's go.
06:43Yo, my guy!
06:44Hancho!
06:45Hancho came!
06:46I don't have to play at the end.
06:47Hancho showed up.
06:48That's good because I'm like four beers deep, zero sleep.
06:51Yeah!
06:52Holy shit, the whole squad's here.
06:53So when we got there, I felt exhilarated.
06:56I felt like God still has us in his plans.
06:59And I was just so grateful, not just to you, but to the players too
07:03because some of them just wanted to give up.
07:05Some of them just wanted to go home.
07:07But we all just, we stuck together and we were like, let's go.
07:10It's a beautiful day for football.
07:12So we got off the bus, everybody was happy, we were banging the bus and everything.
07:16It was crazy.
07:17Yo!
07:18Yo!
07:19Yo!
07:20Yo!
07:21It was almost a miracle how these guys are so amped up to play a football game
07:25off of two days, no sleep.
07:27They were rocking the bus like FSU before a big SEC game.
07:31The fact that they even brought any type of energy after dealing what they dealt with,
07:37that definitely put a smile on my face.
07:39All right, let's play some football.
07:41Let's make a miracle.
07:42George, I know it's been a long day.
07:44A long two days for you guys.
07:47I'm sure you're tired.
07:48But we're going to make it still.
07:50Yes.
07:51We're here to kick their asses.
07:53That's why we're here, George.
07:55You can sleep after the game.
07:59I want George.
08:02Yeah, guys, in the first quarter, stay cool, calm and collected.
08:05We can always adjust.
08:06I just love football.
08:07And the moment we saw the football field and the other team, the Kenyan team,
08:11getting ready, we were like, yeah, it's going down.
08:15All right, let's get suited up, suited and booted.
08:22Listen to me while you're getting ready.
08:24I know there's been a lot of adversity, a lot of challenges to get to this game.
08:28But you must look past all that because all that matters now is between those lines.
08:34The Kenyan came into your house last time and they whooped us.
08:38We're going to whoop them ten times worse on their own field.
08:42Right now, I want you to have invader mentality.
08:45You guys are reaping, you're raiders.
08:48We're coming into their house.
08:49We're taking everything.
08:51We're pillaging the whole country on this football field.
08:56Sounds a little colonial.
08:58We're going to bring the intensity.
09:00We're going to bring the pain.
09:01We're going to hit them in their mouth.
09:03They're sitting there and they're thinking, oh, these guys have been on the bus for two days.
09:07We're going to whoop them.
09:08Who fights harder, the hungry man or the well-rested, well-fed man?
09:13The hungry man.
09:14And we are going to feast after this game.
09:16The feral dog is more vicious than the fat dog.
09:20And that's us right now.
09:22I'm going to go out there.
09:23I'm going to hit them in our fucking mouth.
09:25I'm going to run through a mother's face.
09:27Yeah.
09:29That's the spirit.
09:30Do what you got to do to get loose.
09:32Three, four, five, six.
09:37It's a golden hour game.
09:39We got about two hours until sunset.
09:41Is that enough time for Uganda to win?
09:43Is that enough time for Billy to score a touchdown and save his job?
09:47Find out soon.
09:48Hosh P, set the edge.
09:50Outside contained.
09:51When you fucking see that shit, it's an outside run.
09:53You fucking toss him.
09:54No one gets outside you.
09:55All right, Honcho.
09:56What are we practicing?
09:58Outside contained.
09:59Once you do see it's a pass, then you can fucking sack his ass.
10:03You're fast and you're a good-ass football player.
10:07Huddle up, boys.
10:08Huddle.
10:09Huddle.
10:10And against all odds, the Ugandan team has somehow made it to the field
10:15with enough daylight left to play a game,
10:17and the second ever Pardon My Cheesesteak Africa Bowl
10:20will be kicking off here in Nairobi shortly.
10:23All right, we're receiving the kickoff.
10:25This is the day where we got to show Kenya that we're angry,
10:28not only to Kenya but to ourselves because I know y'all are angry about something else.
10:31I know y'all are tired from the long trip.
10:34This is the right chance.
10:36This is the opportunity to show yourself what you got.
10:39Don't ever doubt yourself.
10:40We got everything we need.
10:42Everything you need is right here.
10:44You got to be strong, you got to be fast, and you got to be angry.
10:47You got to push somebody.
10:48This is controlled aggression.
10:50This is violence.
10:52I don't want you walking like a goddamn princess over there.
10:55Where are you?
10:56We're here.
10:57Count every man.
10:58Count every man.
10:59Here we come.
11:00Here we come.
11:01Do or die.
11:02Do or die.
11:03Do or die.
11:04Do or die.
11:05We will win.
11:06We will win.
11:07Do or die.
11:08Do, do, do.
11:09Do, do, do.
11:10Do, do, do.
11:11Do, do, do.
11:12Do, do, do.
11:13Do, do, do.
11:14Do, do, do.
11:15Let's go, let's go.
11:16Let's go, let's go.
11:17Dude, this is going to be a short game but a game it shall be.
11:19Here we go.
11:20Body bag.
11:21Let's go, guys.
11:22Get that first pop.
11:23Wake up.
11:24Let's go, Eugene.
11:25Okay, okay.
11:28Run.
11:29Run, man, come on.
11:32All right, okay, all right, okay.
11:34Yes, yes, Oswald, let's go.
11:42First down, first play, let's go.
11:44No sleep, no problem, as the Ugandan team came out looking alert.
11:49Yes, yes, let's go.
11:53Generals, advance.
11:57However, our passing game was looking rusty.
12:00Nice and gentle on the snaps.
12:05Pass, pass, pass, pass.
12:07Dude, he was open.
12:09It's okay, don't get discouraged.
12:10He's going to catch that next time.
12:12But after a few reps, Billy finally connected.
12:15Yes.
12:19We just completed our first fucking pass.
12:21Let's go, Billy.
12:22However, the Kenyans were up to their old tricks,
12:24and one of the players booted the ball when a call didn't go his way.
12:28There's no way you can't call that.
12:30So, we gave him a flag, and we gave him 15 yards.
12:33That's unsportsmanlike.
12:34That's bullshit.
12:36Stop complaining.
12:37We would never complain about the refs.
12:39Let's play some football.
12:40Those shenanigans put us in a great position to get on the board first.
12:46Uganda offsides.
12:47But we just couldn't capitalize.
12:52We got to have better snaps, Norman.
12:54It's fourth down.
12:56Billy threw up a prayer on fourth down.
13:01But it was no good, and our first drive was officially dead.
13:05Bill, that was a great drive.
13:07We got to work on the snaps.
13:08Yeah.
13:09Where is Norbert?
13:10Norbert.
13:11Practice right now.
13:12Down.
13:13Hut.
13:14Good.
13:15A little faster.
13:16Down.
13:17Hut.
13:22When our defense hit the field for the first time all game,
13:25I was happy to see them swarming the Rhinos like a pack of hyenas.
13:29Outside contained, D'Angelo.
13:31And for the first time, we weren't falling for Kenya's backfield fuckery.
13:35Yes.
13:36Get him.
13:37Get him.
13:38Yes.
13:39We're learning.
13:40We're getting better, man.
13:41We're getting better, dude.
13:42But I may have spoken too soon.
13:44Outside.
13:45Yeah, D'Angelo.
13:47Break down.
13:48Break down.
13:49Break down.
13:52Should have done more tackling drills.
13:54Oh, it was a hold?
13:55Thankfully, the run was called back due to holding.
13:57They held the defensive end.
13:59They must have held Hoshby because he wouldn't have allowed that.
14:01You hold Hoshby one more time, you're going to have a problem with me.
14:04Side.
14:05Side.
14:06Side.
14:07Side.
14:08Side.
14:09Side.
14:10Side.
14:11Side.
14:12Side.
14:13Side.
14:14Side.
14:15Side.
14:16Side.
14:17Side.
14:18Side.
14:19Side.
14:20Side.
14:21Side.
14:22Side.
14:23Oh, yeah.
14:24Down.
14:25Ball down.
14:26Ball.
14:27Ball.
14:28Nice.
14:29Splatter.
14:30Davis.
14:31Davis.
14:32Davis.
14:33Take a chug.
14:34Give me some water, too.
14:35You're doing good, Hoshby.
14:36They're holding you.
14:37That means they're fucking scared of you, dude.
14:38They can't contain you, but you can contain them.
14:39But our other DM was struggling.
14:40And just like last game, our inability to set the edge led to Kenya getting on the board
14:46first.
14:47Run.
14:48Outside.
14:49Run.
14:50Contain.
14:52Honcho.
14:53Outside.
14:54Contain, my man.
14:55If you don't contain the outside one more time, I'm taking off all your pads and I'm putting
14:59them on.
15:00Don't make me do that.
15:01It will not help the team.
15:03They completed a pass for the two-point conversion, too.
15:06And Uganda was now down by eight early in the second quarter.
15:09What the fuck?
15:11Jesus.
15:12I thought he had him.
15:13Dude, we had that stopped.
15:15Don't be discouraged.
15:16A lot of game left.
15:17There's no comeback.
15:19There's no comeback?
15:20There's no comeback.
15:21Oh, there's a comeback in this story.
15:24There's always a comeback.
15:25You guys have gotten worse since last game.
15:27Yes.
15:28Yes.
15:29That's wrong.
15:30That's how you fucking pound it.
15:33Plug it and fucking chug it, dude.
15:35When you first listened to an episode of Part of My Take, did you ever think you'd be the
15:38line judge of a Philly football game in Uganda?
15:40No, no.
15:41That never came to my mind, honestly.
15:42All right.
15:43I'm happy to be here, though.
15:44I did.
15:45I'm happy to have you.
15:46Last time, he made me do the lines.
15:49Run, run, run.
15:50Yes.
15:52We were picking up momentum on offense.
15:54Unfortunately, though, when Billy completed his first bomb of the game.
15:59Yes.
16:00That's a complete pass.
16:01Holding.
16:02Thank you.
16:03He was called back for holding.
16:05What the fuck?
16:06Who held?
16:07He doesn't know what he's doing.
16:08Maybe we shouldn't have used too many refs.
16:11We need the perfect amount of refs.
16:13Now we have too many fucking refs.
16:15Fuck, it's fourth and nine.
16:17We weren't able to recover from that penalty.
16:22And the ball was once again in Kenya's court.
16:25We can score a touchdown against these guys.
16:27Yeah, I know.
16:28If it doesn't get called back.
16:29Marv, you better cover your fucking guy.
16:31Or Billy's going to spank you.
16:33Finally, though, our defensive ends were understanding the assignment.
16:37Outside contact.
16:38Yes.
16:39Hoshpi, that is what defensive ends do.
16:41Outside contact.
16:42Yes.
16:43Hoshpi, that is what defensive ends live for.
16:45That is our existence.
16:47That is our breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
16:49Keep that up.
16:52Interception.
16:53Interception.
16:54Jump.
16:55Oh, OK.
16:56Great coverage.
16:57Third down.
16:58Make a stop.
17:02All right, boys.
17:03Your life depends on this play.
17:06The life is on the line.
17:07Make the stop.
17:08We make the stop.
17:09We got ourselves a ball game.
17:10This is the most important play of your life, guys.
17:14Hey, dude.
17:15Run.
17:16Watch out.
17:17Watch out.
17:18Get him.
17:19Get him jumping.
17:20Fuck him up.
17:21Fuck him up.
17:22Don't miss those tackles.
17:23Nice one.
17:24Yeah.
17:25Our defense had taken the rhinos by the horns.
17:27And it was clear this was going to be a ball game.
17:30Let's go, Martin.
17:31Let's go.
17:32That is good defense.
17:33Dino ball.
17:34Turnover on defense.
17:35Offense in.
17:36But one of our players was injured on the play.
17:38He's on the ground.
17:39So I ran out to investigate.
17:41Did you get the air knocked out of you?
17:43No.
17:44I got this.
17:45I'm stronger than that, man.
17:46Okay.
17:47All right.
17:48Did you shit your pants?
17:49No.
17:50Hell no.
17:51I'm a beast.
17:52I shit my pants once, and I'm a beast.
17:54You're a baby.
17:57I got the shit knocked out of me.
17:58I just got to make sure it doesn't start leaking down into the socks.
18:01I ain't no baby.
18:02Okay.
18:03Let's go, Marv.
18:04Off the field, guys.
18:06Our receivers were still struggling to catch the ball, though.
18:09That was a pretty good pass.
18:11And Billy wasn't always making it easy for them.
18:13Shit.
18:14Can't unsee that.
18:15That was too low by Billy.
18:16So our next drive was short-lived.
18:19Fuck.
18:20Where did he go?
18:21Why was he running straight?
18:22They got to be looking for the ball faster, because they're not getting a lot of protection out there.
18:25And once again, we'd be relying on our defense to come up big.
18:28Interception.
18:29Intercept that.
18:30Intercept that jump.
18:33This guy's too short.
18:34How much time is left in the half?
18:3530?
18:3660.
18:3760 seconds left.
18:38We got to stop here.
18:39Or we could just hop on the fucking bus.
18:41But either Kenya was holding our DNs, or they had once again forgotten how to contain,
18:47as the Rhinos were able to easily waltz in outside for their second touchdown of the game.
18:52What the fuck?
18:56I told you.
18:57There's no comeback here.
18:58There's no comeback.
19:00It's a two-score game.
19:01It's a two-score game.
19:02It's a two-score game.
19:03We won't have no more.
19:05Two touchdowns.
19:06Two touchdowns.
19:07That's nothing in the NFL.
19:08That's nothing in the NFL.
19:11You can come back from that.
19:12Where is Honcho?
19:14They're running outside.
19:15The guys are pulling.
19:16He's pulling.
19:17They're holding.
19:18Yes, he pulls Honcho off every minute.
19:19I'm going to talk to the refs.
19:20Try to fucking stay away from him.
19:22Thankfully, Kenya couldn't complete the two-point conversion this time,
19:25so it was still a very winnable game.
19:28We just have to get it done in the second half.
19:30Halftime.
19:31Halftime.
19:32Let's go.
19:33This game is still winnable.
19:35Guys, we look like an actual football team this game.
19:38We've made a lot of improvements.
19:39There's a couple plays that have fucked us.
19:41I think they're holding the DNs.
19:42We're going to talk to the refs about that.
19:44If you're getting held, do what we talked about.
19:46Just punch them in the fucking gut.
19:47Chop their arms.
19:48Hit them in the stomach.
19:49Fight to get them off you.
19:51Fight like a rabid dog.
19:52We had three touchdowns that we could have caught.
19:55We got to catch the ball, guys.
19:56I don't have time to know where you're going to be,
19:59so I'm going to throw it where I think you're going to be.
20:01We can totally win this game.
20:03They didn't get the second two-point conversion.
20:05That means we can score twice and be back in this thing.
20:08The defense is the problem.
20:10Y'all just standing like this.
20:12Come on, guys.
20:13And then when the ball is in the air, it's your ball too.
20:16Go catch the ball on defense and tackle.
20:20They ran sweeps.
20:21That's how they score and touch points.
20:23That means y'all not chasing the ball.
20:25You're not pursuing.
20:26You got to play the edge.
20:27We're not containing.
20:28Chase the ball.
20:29You can win this game, but you got to win it on defense.
20:32I want to see you guys get a touchdown so badly,
20:34but we got to make some stops on D to make that happen.
20:36Come on, guys.
20:37We came a long way.
20:38We came a fucking long way.
20:41Listen, if God decides that I die today, hell, I'm ready to die.
20:45Hell, yeah.
20:46But I tell you this, I'm going to die happy
20:48because I'm going to play my ass off,
20:50and I'm not going to be afraid of shit.
20:52I request all of y'all to just follow me.
20:55Do not be afraid.
20:58What are you thinking about, Blue?
21:00Look at him.
21:02Look.
21:04He's all depressed.
21:05He's like, fuck, I'm sad.
21:06What the fuck are you sad about?
21:08Ain't nobody going to feel sorry for you, man.
21:10Nobody here is your father.
21:12Nobody's your mother.
21:13Nobody's going to say, oh, sorry, man.
21:15No.
21:16Do your goddamn job.
21:18We came a long way.
21:1918 hours in a goddamn bus.
21:22Come on, guys.
21:23We can do better than act like little goddamn kids.
21:26George, make that fucking catch.
21:29In practice, you were catching them like goddamn, what's his name?
21:32Randy Moss.
21:33Justin Jefferson.
21:34Randy Moss.
21:35Jerry Rice.
21:36Right now, you're like, ooh, I got butterfucking fingers.
21:38What's going on, guys?
21:40Hey, this is a very winnable game.
21:42People have came back from way worse,
21:44and the way we've been playing, we can win this game.
21:46We had big plays called back, but we're going to get this.
21:50Guys, the only thing you need right now is anger.
21:52Get moving now.
21:53Be angry.
21:54Now, get your mind right.
21:55That's all.
21:56Be angry.
22:01We were angry, all right.
22:02And on the opening kickoff, we got the ball right back.
22:07I think you got it just recovered.
22:09An onside kick.
22:10Is that your call?
22:11That was not my call.
22:13I knew coming out at half, we had to Sean Payton in the Super Bowl.
22:16We were going to do an onside kick.
22:18We popped it off their first guy, and we got that football,
22:21and the vibes changed.
22:24Oh, you know.
22:25Yes, let's go, Billy.
22:27Let's fucking go, Billy.
22:28Yes, yes.
22:29Yeah, Billy.
22:30Fuck him up.
22:31Billy was cooking.
22:32That was a good run.
22:33That was a good run.
22:34We got to fucking do that.
22:38Let's go, Billy.
22:45Yes.
22:46We almost had a costly fumble, but thankfully, Billy recovered it.
22:51We couldn't expect to get that lucky again, though.
22:53So, when a timeout was called due to a Kenyan injury,
22:56we made sure to use that time to get focused.
22:59All right, guys.
23:00Talk about the next play now.
23:01Talk about the next play now.
23:04Next play, we're going to throw the ball.
23:06You go long.
23:07You run a five-yard line.
23:09Just get into the end zone and start running across the field.
23:11You better catch the ball, okay?
23:13You got this, all right?
23:15How are these?
23:16Catch it.
23:17Make them sticky.
23:19Make them sticky.
23:20Spit.
23:21Spit on your hands.
23:22Make them sticky.
23:25Spit on your own and you can't do anything.
23:27But if you all spit together, you can drown the bastards.
23:31We gonda.
23:32All right, let's go.
23:33Hang in there, man.
23:35Billy's job was still on the line,
23:37so it was time for him to either let his nuts hang or start looking for a new career.
23:42This is it, man.
23:43If we don't score here, Billy is fired.
23:46I'm sorry, man.
23:48This is it.
23:52Yes.
23:53Yes.
23:54Yes.
23:55Billy.
23:56You keep your fucking job.
23:57Let's fucking go.
23:58Let's go.
23:59Woo.
24:00Let's go, baby.
24:01Punch it in here.
24:02Punch it in here.
24:03This game ain't over.
24:04This game ain't over.
24:05Holy fuck.
24:06All right.
24:07He's not going to kill himself.
24:08I don't have to be on suicide watch after this game now.
24:10I was more not worried about his job, but I was worried about after the game.
24:14He made some comments.
24:15He made some comments.
24:16He goes, if I lose, I just want to stay in Africa.
24:18And I'm like, we have to get you on that flight.
24:20With Billy's job secured, it was now time to break out our tush push, Wiganda.
24:26When we ran it in the last game, Kenya went off sides.
24:29And before our center could even hike the ball, they returned it for a touchdown.
24:33That's not good.
24:34That's not good.
24:35But I was confident that with proper officiating, it would be unstoppable.
24:40Wiganda, baby.
24:41Works every time.
24:43Works every time, except for when Kenya kicks the ball before we snap it.
24:46Welcome to Philadelphia, Kenya.
24:49Let's go.
24:50Destroy them.
24:51Destroy them.
24:52Yes, Ashby.
24:57Unfortunately, though, all the momentum we had from the last drive wouldn't last long.
25:03It was back to being a 12-point game.
25:05Our defense sucked on that.
25:07I will give you that much.
25:10We should have fucking tapped that.
25:12Yeah, we sucked on that play.
25:14Holy shit.
25:15He could have easily tapped that, right?
25:17We were only down by six.
25:19The game was so—I mean, the game is still very winnable now that we're clicking on offense,
25:23but we've only gotten one stop this entire game.
25:25We'll add another stop to the books, as the two-point conversion was no good.
25:30No catch.
25:32Down by 12.
25:33Winnable.
25:35But Uganda would have to start playing with some urgency.
25:38Yes.
25:39Yeah.
25:40Turn it on.
25:41Wheels.
25:42Wheels.
25:43Wheels.
25:44Hold it.
25:45Hold it.
25:46Hold it.
25:47Tension between the two teams was running high, and the field soon erupted into chaos.
25:51Whoa.
25:52Whoa.
25:53Whoa.
25:54Guys, stop.
25:55Stop.
25:56Stop.
25:57Stop.
25:58Stop.
25:59Stop.
26:00Stop.
26:01Stop.
26:02Stop.
26:03Stop.
26:04Stop.
26:05Stop.
26:06Stop.
26:07Stop.
26:08Stop.
26:09Stop.
26:10Stop.
26:11Stop.
26:12Stop.
26:13Stop.
26:14Relax.
26:15Stephen was standing on business.
26:16Everyone needs to see this clip, because Stephen can play college football in the United States,
26:19D-3, and he was standing on business.
26:21This guy does not back down from nothing.
26:28Oh, and we got a guy down here.
26:34George, you okay, man?
26:35No.
26:36Okay.
26:371-1.
26:38What the f**k was that?
26:39Are they doing the fucking New Zealand Haka to us?
26:41Flags were flying.
26:48But we were eventually able to get our squad calmed down and focused on the task at hand.
26:53You guys have been very professional up until now.
26:56Let's keep it up until the end.
26:58Billy tried going out for a pass.
27:12But it was clear that this late in the game, we should just stick with what was working.
27:22Just like that, we were back within striking distance of the end zone
27:26and knew exactly what play to call.
27:29He just called Uganda foolproof.
27:31Let's go boys!
27:32This play right here will define Ugandan football for centuries to come.
27:44Touchdown!
27:44Like I said, unstoppable.
27:47It was a six-point game once again.
27:49Or so I thought.
27:50He was not on the line.
27:52He was not on the line.
27:54Who are you on the other line?
27:55What are you on?
27:56False start?
27:57No, false start.
27:57It's false start.
27:58No, false start.
28:00End of the third quarter.
28:01The third quarter was over, but our drive was still alive.
28:05This is the most important drive of the whole fucking game, boys.
28:08So we marched down to the other side of the field, determined to finish what we started.
28:12We can do this.
28:14Second down, boys.
28:15This is the most important drive of the game.
28:17Leave it all on the fucking field.
28:18Dude!
28:24Our snaps were looking scary though.
28:27And I started to think maybe I had spooked the center.
28:29I don't think I should have walked out there.
28:31I just went up to the center and I go, this is the most important drive of the game.
28:34And then he just snaps over his head.
28:36Launches it over his head.
28:37I shouldn't have put the pressure on him, dude.
28:39It's just like every drive of the game.
28:41Every drive is important.
28:42God damn it.
28:43Third down.
28:43All right, third down.
28:49Dude, that's two bad snaps in a row.
28:53I fucked him up.
28:54You don't have to worry about high snaps with Wiganda though.
28:57So it was time to run it back.
29:03A touchdown!
29:05You can't stop it.
29:06You know what's coming, but you can't stop it.
29:09It's inevitable.
29:10Run it back.
29:11Run it again.
29:12Run it again after this.
29:13Dread it.
29:14Run from it.
29:15Wiganda scores all the same.
29:19Yes, Steve!
29:20Steve!
29:23We were now only down by four.
29:26And our dream of beating Kenya had never felt more alive.
29:30Is it 16-20?
29:31What's up?
29:3216-20.
29:33Let's fucking win.
29:35I'm going to see what...
29:36Lloyd's got you.
29:37Heroic Lloyd once again.
29:39He's got it.
29:41It's time to come alive, defense.
29:42Let's get some gnash, D.
29:44Let's get some gnash.
29:46Hey, defense.
29:46I want you to eat their gnash up next set of downs.
29:49Lay him out.
29:50Lay him out.
29:52Lay him out.
29:54What the...
29:56That's not what we want.
29:57What just happened over here?
29:59Did this guy get his shoes knocked off?
30:01We got a guy bleeding from his face.
30:04The medics are working overtime.
30:05Go.
30:06It's time to leave, man.
30:07It's time to leave, dude.
30:08Get this defense in shape.
30:16Our defensive backs weren't capitalizing on the Kenyan QB throwing ducks.
30:23And eventually, one of those ducks landed.
30:28Do you know how to jump?
30:30It's supposed to be the white men that can't jump.
30:32You guys got ups.
30:33Come on.
30:34We got to get a finger on that.
30:35Oh, he scored?
30:36He scored on that play?
30:38We're losing daylight.
30:39The refs had been working well together all game.
30:42But that last play led to some serious contention between them.
30:46If we go against the whistle now, what is the whistle going to mean the rest of the game?
30:49As three refs were saying it was first and goal,
30:51while the Kenyan ref was calling the last play a touchdown.
30:55We're hurting our own integrity by talking this long.
30:58They're going to trust us.
30:59The real confusion about the whole thing was whether we were playing down without contact
31:05or down with contact.
31:07They had called our guys down with one knee.
31:10Look, it's very hard to ref a football game,
31:12but they didn't have a consistent definition of what a man was down.
31:18We had come to a group vote with majority.
31:21Chris still just didn't let it go.
31:24It's a touchdown.
31:25It's a touchdown.
31:25It's a touchdown.
31:26No, no, no.
31:27Majority of the group.
31:27You're going to open on majority?
31:28No, no, no.
31:31On your own?
31:31We've done so well.
31:32Let's keep it up.
31:33You'd think it would be majority rule, but not in Kenya.
31:37He demanded it be called a touchdown.
31:39Yeah, we'll just let the fucking Kenyan QB from the last game,
31:43who's now a ref, call it a touchdown.
31:44It's a touchdown because Chris can overrule the rest of the group.
31:48Yeah, Chris just overruled every fucking ref on the field to call it a touchdown.
31:51He was also the QB for the Kenyan team in the last game.
31:54No big deal.
31:55Vibranium!
31:59Vibraniums are goal line D.
32:01It doesn't work.
32:02Oh my God.
32:03And when they proceeded to punch in the two-point conversion,
32:06it was back to being a 12-point game.
32:09I am not a good DN coach.
32:16With the clock running out fast, Uganda would have to dig deep for a dub.
32:20That's a good return, boys.
32:22But unfortunately, it looked like the yips were creeping in.
32:25Yeah, oh my God.
32:27I don't even know what receiver, but that was wide open.
32:30Just dropped a wide open pass.
32:31I've never seen someone more wide open.
32:33I think he's got the yips.
32:39Oh my God.
32:41He's got the yips.
32:42Is stick'em in band in the African-American football league?
32:45Like, that's something worth maybe looking into.
32:47We should have picked it out while we were back in the U.S.
32:50That's on us, because there's no regulation on that.
32:53Yips are curable, though.
32:55All it takes is grit and determination.
32:57And those were two things this team had plenty of.
33:06Yes!
33:07Yes!
33:08Tuddy!
33:09Tuddy!
33:10That was an absolute f***ing boy!
33:11That Tuddy had our team erect.
33:14That's my f***ing guy!
33:15Yeah!
33:17Basically, right before this play started, I had noticed that they put in a new guy.
33:21So I was like, I'm going to exploit that corner.
33:23He was in a jersey different than all the other Kenyans.
33:25I was like, he's f***ed.
33:27It's probably one of the greatest touchdowns of my career.
33:30Uganda, run it back.
33:32But when we ran our foolproof Uganda for the two-point conversion...
33:38It was once again called back because of a false start.
33:41That guy was shitting your pants.
33:43I am shitting my pants right now.
33:45I am shitting my pants right now.
33:47Instead of running Uganda back again, though,
33:49we tried to pass, resulting in Billy's first interception of the game.
33:57Damn it.
33:57One of the reasons we couldn't convert Uganda late in the game
34:00was the only way the Kenyans figured out they could stop it
34:03was having their defensive lineman yell hike before we snapped the ball.
34:08That's why we had to go into a pass play on a two-point conversion.
34:12The Kenyans were up to their old tricks, if you will say.
34:16The fact our team was running off barely any sleep or food in the last 24 hours...
34:21Light them up.
34:22Defense needs to show something.
34:23Defense!
34:24...started to become very apparent in the fourth quarter.
34:27Jack Duke!
34:28Oh my god, we don't know how to tackle.
34:31We should have done more tackling drills, Billy.
34:33This is ugly.
34:34Watch the reverse!
34:35And when Kenya had a huge run for another touchdown...
34:39Oh my god.
34:48It felt like the nail in our coffin.
34:50I think that's the ball game, folks.
34:57There was a comeback.
34:58Technically, there was a comeback.
35:01We were down by one point.
35:03There was a comeback.
35:04We were down by three.
35:05Then we were only down by six.
35:07That's a comeback.
35:09There was a comeback at one point in the game.
35:11It did happen.
35:12Did you guys win a Super Bowl in China?
35:14No.
35:14I'm gonna sell rhino horns to the Chinese.
35:17Sell them to Chinese people who think they helped make their dicks get hard.
35:21Yes!
35:22All right.
35:23Listen, every time we play you, Uganda's getting better.
35:26Soon the Generals are going to be spanking the Rhinos.
35:28The Generals finished the game with their heads held high.
35:37But our fate was sealed once again.
35:40It's over.
35:43Final score, Kenya 34, Uganda 22.
35:50George, that was a well-played game.
35:54This is your team now.
35:56The Generals will rise again.
35:58Thank you, Uganda, for making it all the way to Kenya.
36:01It was a game worth it.
36:03Yeah, you are one of the opponents.
36:04So you're going to keep your job of comforting Billy again?
36:07No, I don't think he's going to be in tears this time.
36:11No, he gets to keep his job.
36:12It's great to see American football grow.
36:15If more people get to play American football,
36:17they get their aggression out, then they're friends at the end of the day.
36:20Yeah.
36:20So I think the key to world peace is American football.
36:23And despite losing, they still had plenty to be proud of.
36:27A lot of heart out of those dudes.
36:28They're looking like a real football team now.
36:30They're some of the hardest motherfucking workers I've ever met in my life.
36:33After all the bullshit they had to go through,
36:36I couldn't have been more proud of them.
36:38The way our guys played under the circumstances they had
36:41is just inspiring to such a level.
36:44They had driven 16 hours overnight without food or sleep,
36:48got off the bus, played their hearts out,
36:51and almost left with a dub.
36:53There's two sides to this game
36:55because we were happy that we scored some touchdowns.
36:58It was great. I'm telling you, it was great.
37:00Everybody was so happy regardless of the loss.
37:03We also got to play the game, so that's good.
37:07It added on experience to the players who were new, who were rookies.
37:10But defeat is never an easy pill to swallow.
37:13Hey boys, you and Red, we're not fucking done.
37:21The negative aspect was our asses were whooped.
37:24We had all the time in the world to practice,
37:27but we were not given the enough tools, the equipment to practice.
37:31And so this was reflected in our performance in the game.
37:34The team was not really working together
37:36because, I don't know, I think they were tired
37:39from all the hours on the bus and everything.
37:42So we were pretty tired. We were not focused.
37:45Staying hung up on regrets though wouldn't do us any good.
37:48We had to think of the future.
37:50Let's understand that we are all here for a common goal.
37:52We want to make sure we develop this game to get to new heights.
37:56We can play in major competitions, and this should not be the end of it.
38:00You are some of the best competitors I've ever played against.
38:03You know, you care. You play with your hearts, which is something I respect.
38:06We're real warriors. We're warriors who protect warriors.
38:08Thank you guys so much. And now we should pray.
38:11Dear God, I want to thank you so much for this opportunity.
38:14You've given the two countries to come together as brothers again
38:17to play this beautiful game, oh Lord.
38:19I want to pray that no matter the result, oh God, we'll remain brothers forever.
38:23And we'll grow this game so that we'll go to heights that we've never thought of.
38:27Pray all this in Jesus' name.
38:30On three, brotherhood.
38:31Three, two, one.
38:39Uganda, guys, can we have a talk?
38:42I'm so proud you've made the trip.
38:44When I heard what was going on back in Kampala,
38:47I was like, I don't blame them at all if they just say,
38:50fuck this, I'm not coming.
38:52If I was in your position, I probably would have done that.
38:54But when I got that first video of you guys in the taxi,
38:58still trying to get to this game, not giving up,
39:02that's the most, most inspired I think I've ever been.
39:05That fired me the fuck up.
39:07Salute the generals!
39:12My college career, honestly, if you look at my stats, I have zero stats.
39:16I got a little play time, no touchdowns, no tackles, no receptions, no nothing.
39:22I honestly lost the love for the game for a long time.
39:27They taught me to love the game again.
39:30And that's something I'll never forget for the rest of my life.
39:36I hope the experiences and stuff we came out there to do with them
39:41gave them something.
39:42But honestly, they gave me more than anything I could have given them or taught them.
39:49And it was one of the greatest experiences and greatest things I've ever been a part of.
39:56If this is going out to people, you know, public,
39:59if it's going out to a whole lot of people,
40:00I just want to let them know that we're not going to stop.
40:04No, we're not going to stop.
40:05We don't care if there's some greedy person in charge of this whole federation.
40:09We don't care because God is going to put him down anyway.
40:13God gives people time and then they just go off when it's their time.
40:16But we're still on it.
40:17The players want to play football.
40:19And if there's anybody in the USA who's feeling sympathetic and,
40:24you know, they want to help, please do help out.
40:27We're not stopping.
40:47Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go