Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Once upon a time, there were three little girls who went to the police academy.
00:06Two in Los Angeles.
00:13The other in San Francisco.
00:16And they were each assigned very hazardous duties.
00:22But I took them away from all that.
00:25And now they work for me.
00:27My name is Charlie.
01:57Woo-hoo!
02:28That was terrific.
02:30Now, Bosley, you remember to thank Charlie for the tickets.
02:33Oh, you can thank him yourself in the morning.
02:35You don't mean in person, finally.
02:37Oh, no, no, no. On the phone from Max's office.
02:40Max? Who's Max?
02:42Max, he's the fellow that gave this little charity shindig.
02:44Uh, you mean the guy who owns the ice show.
02:47Uh, yeah. Well, uh, he's an old friend of Charlie's.
02:50Why do I have to thank him?
02:52Well, he's a great guy.
02:54Uh, yeah. Well, uh, he's an old friend of Charlie's.
02:57Why do I get the feeling that this was not strictly for fun?
03:00Uh, well, as a matter of fact, Max has had a few minor problems lately.
03:04What kind of problems, Bosley?
03:06Well, a couple nights ago, somebody broke into his office.
03:09You mean he was robbed?
03:11Well, not exactly. Max isn't sure.
03:13It seems that somebody broke one of his files, but nothing was taken.
03:15Well, that doesn't make much sense.
03:17Well, it might not mean anything.
03:19But we'll talk to Max, and if we've got a job, then we're working.
03:22And if not, well, go on. We've had a good time.
03:25Even if I didn't get much of my candy apple.
03:28Oh, it's delicious.
04:23♪
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04:49Gail?
04:51This is Billy.
04:53It's about a half an hour.
04:55They're practicing one of the numbers.
04:58Remember, you promised not to touch her, just him.
05:02You got my money?
05:06Billy, don't break his word. The door's gonna be open.
05:10Half an hour. Okay?
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05:58Here.
06:00Thank you, Billy.
06:02Sure.
06:04It's too bad you have to keep taking all those pills, Eileen.
06:08Keeps the old asthma under control.
06:11How come you never help me with my skids, Billy?
06:14Don't tease him, Jack.
06:19You've got great hands.
06:25Hey, easy, Billy.
06:29Any plans for tonight?
06:31No.
06:33Mmm. That feels great.
06:45Why don't you knock off for the night, Billy boy?
06:48Mmm. Night, Billy.
06:50Thank you.
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08:02Oh, sir!
08:04Oh, sir! Sir!
08:06Sir, excuse me!
08:08Excuse me, sir.
08:10I was wondering, sir,
08:13if I might negotiate a loan.
08:18What?
08:20A loan, sir. I would like to make a loan.
08:24Well, thank you, sir.
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17:00Did you think about what I asked?
17:03Look, we weren't kidding.
17:04She's got asthma.
17:05She needs those pills.
17:08Look, whatever you had in mind,
17:09it doesn't include killing her,
17:11so you would have done it by now.
17:13Please, the pills are in the top drawer in her dresser.
17:16You can't miss them.
17:17A small brown bottle.
17:20Hey, look, you can't just let her die.
17:24I'll see if it makes up for you.
17:34We're here to kill the traitors.
17:37If someone else dies, it will look bad for us.
17:40Maybe we should go to the apartment, get her medication.
17:47First things first.
17:51The guard at the arena.
17:54♪
17:59♪
18:04♪
18:09♪
18:14♪
18:19♪
18:24♪
18:27Hello?
18:30Come over here, please.
18:32Yeah, what can I do for you?
18:34♪
18:39♪
18:45♪
18:50Listen, I am telling you,
18:52Billy knows more than he's saying.
18:54He almost spilled it.
18:56When I pushed him, he got a little dangerous.
18:58Oh, please, my Billy's a pussycat.
19:01You just pushed the wrong button.
19:03Your pussycat has a record of assault and battery, Max.
19:06All right, so a long time ago,
19:08he was a little short-tempered, but believe me,
19:10he's not responsible for Elaine's disappearance.
19:13I don't know what's going on here.
19:15A lot of strange things happen in the name of love.
19:18I think you'd better check her apartment, Sabrina.
19:20Good idea, Charlie.
19:22Check her apartment for what? What were you looking for?
19:24Well, I'll try to figure out if she's been abducted
19:27or if she's gone away for the weekend to play.
19:30I don't think it's romance.
19:32Shirley said after a couple of drinks
19:34that Jackie Baby always comes home to Mama.
19:36This time he didn't.
19:38I vote for foul play.
19:40Isn't this beautiful, Charlie?
19:42It's a mistake, and they're holding a Democratic election.
19:45How about some results?
19:47Soon, Max, soon.
19:49But first you gotta hire us on as skaters.
19:51Skaters?
19:53Alvin will never buy it.
19:55Who's Alvin?
19:57My director. I'll just have to tell him who you are.
19:59Well, you can't do that, Max.
20:01You can't risk blowing our cover.
20:03Shall we hit the ice for a little practice?
20:05Mm-hmm. Just my luck.
20:07Jill skates like a pro, and I get this assignment.
20:10And all the bruises.
20:14Yeah, Max, I got the flu.
20:16Well, my cousin's gonna fill in for me till I get better.
20:19He knows the ropes, Max.
20:21There's an extra uniform right in the locker.
20:24Oh, you could just send me the check.
20:26That's all right, yeah.
20:28Max, listen, I gotta say goodbye.
20:31I'll talk to you later.
20:35How did I do, huh?
20:41Hey, what about the pill?
20:46Welcome to the club.
20:48What's going on here?
21:02It can destroy six traitors in 1.8 seconds.
21:07You shoot very well at melons.
21:10Can you do the same with people?
21:12Pay as you promised. We'll do what you want.
21:38From now on, you do not know me or Kali.
21:42You understand?
21:44We understand.
21:49A good day, lovely people.
21:51Are you aware that I am now borrowing money at 18% per annum?
21:56I...
22:07Clear the ice for auditions, please.
22:09Clear the ice for auditions.
22:15Sufficient. Absolutely sufficient. I've seen enough.
22:19Well, what do you think?
22:21They are amateurs.
22:23Just a little.
22:24You like them, you run the show.
22:26Oh, no, no, no. Your decision.
22:28On the ice, I back you up.
22:32El Conjo, let's go.
22:35Girls.
22:37You know, when you showed us that turn, the way you came out of it was so beautiful.
22:42I mean, you just stopped, and it was great.
22:45It's canoe, isn't it?
22:47Oh, I knew it was canoe.
22:49You know what? With your body chemistry, it's like, I don't know, it's like gardenias in the fall.
22:55Oh, really? How nice. Thank you.
22:57Listen, girls, I'm sorry, but...
22:59You know, you just stopped, and you were so graceful.
23:02What is it that you do to make it seem so, so...
23:06What is the word, Chris?
23:08So, so organic.
23:10Right.
23:11Right.
23:12You know, you could have been a ballet dancer.
23:14Don't tell anyone, but I was.
23:17The Hoboken Nureyev.
23:19You see?
23:20I knew it.
23:22You know, Alvin, you're really awesome.
23:25You know, Alvin, you're really outrageous.
23:28Oh?
23:29Well, I mean, who else could get away with fuchsia and magenta?
23:32Oh, and you make it work, too.
23:34How did you think of that combination?
23:36Oh, I just don't let myself go to sleep until I choose the next day's outfit.
23:41I just toss and turn until it's just right.
23:45Righteous is the word.
23:47Right.
23:48You know, I think that you girls have actually conned me into hiring you.
23:53Now, you definitely are not pros,
23:56but you do bring a certain, je ne sais quoi, elegance into this world of ready-maids.
24:03Alvin, we'll never be able to thank you.
24:06Probably not, but try, dears.
24:08Oh, I beg of you, try.
24:11Okay.
24:19I hope you don't mind my asking,
24:21but who the devil are you?
24:23I'm Olga. This is Luise.
24:26Olga. Luise. Terrific.
24:29What are you doing here?
24:31We heard a rumor that your lead skaters have disappeared.
24:35Oh, ugly news travels fast.
24:37Well, what's that got to do with you?
24:39We would like to audition.
24:41Audition? You mean to replace them?
24:44We watched the show in Detroit.
24:46We studied all the routines. They're simple.
24:49I developed the routines. I don't think they're simple.
24:53No, no, no. She means they're simply beautiful.
24:56This is either a daydream or a nightmare.
24:59If you have the music, we will show you.
25:02Well, why not? Alvin's gong show. Amateurs and nuts.
25:06Hit the music, Sam. Cue six.
25:20ORGAN PLAYS
25:23ORGAN CONTINUES
25:26ORGAN CONTINUES
25:46If we only have love
25:53Then tomorrow will dawn
26:00And the days of all years
26:07Will rise on that morn
26:15If we only have love
26:21We can reach those in pain
26:28We can heal all the wounds
26:35We can use our own names
26:42If we only have love
26:48We can melt all the guns
26:55And then give the new one
27:02To our daughters and sons
27:09If we only have love
27:17We will never bow down
27:24We'll be tall as the kite
27:30Neither heroes or clowns
27:37If we only have love
27:43For the songs that we sing
27:50Then we'll have all we are
27:57If we only have love
28:12ORGAN CONTINUES
28:28Oh, I have only one thing to say.
28:30Where have you been all my life? You are both exquisite.
28:34Whoever you are, you're hired. You open the show.
28:37Alvin, stop the auditions.
28:39Work with them day and night and in between.
28:41Work? What's to work?
28:43They are perfection, just like me.
28:46I can't tell you what it means to see skating like this.
28:49You are just wonderful, wonderful.
28:52Then you better go to the apartment and get the pills.
28:58Now.
29:02They are fabulous. Makes me want to hang up your skates.
29:05Yes, aren't they?
29:08What's the matter?
29:10I don't know much about professional skaters, but this all seems so easy.
29:14It just doesn't make sense.
29:16Maybe we better talk to Bree about it.
29:18It'll have to be later because she's checking out Helene's apartment.
29:22Let's go. Practice makes perfect.
29:25Okay?
29:37Let's go.
29:56Oh, excuse me.
30:07Oh, excuse me.
30:37Oh, excuse me.
31:07Oh, excuse me.
31:37Oh, excuse me.
32:07Oh, excuse me.
32:37Oh, excuse me.
32:48Shit.
33:08Excuse me, can I borrow your truck?
33:10Uh, it's an emergency.
33:12Why are you holding your hands like that?
33:14Oh, I'm sorry. I'll bring it back.
33:16Sorry.
33:38Oh.
33:50Hi, there.
33:52Out of the truck, please, miss.
33:54Listen, I know you're probably wondering...
33:56Out of the truck.
33:58Sir, get away.
34:00License, please.
34:02Uh, that would be a driver's license.
34:07That's the idea.
34:09Well, uh, look, you're never gonna believe this, but I don't have it with me.
34:13You see, I left it in the room when I took my gun out of my purse...
34:16to shoot at the gorilla who was driving the limousine.
34:19The gorilla driving the limousine?
34:22Well, I mean, no, it wasn't...
34:24No, I mean, it wasn't really a gorilla.
34:26I mean, a gorilla can't drive even if he did have his license.
34:29Uh, it was a... it was a person in a gorilla mask.
34:34Have you been drinking, ma'am?
34:36Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Scout's honor.
34:39Uh, is this your truck?
34:42Uh, uh, no, uh, no.
34:47I-I-I rented this truck.
34:50Well, uh, actually, I-I didn't rent this truck.
34:54Uh, I borrowed this truck.
34:56Borrowed it.
34:58You could say that.
35:00Hmm. You stole the truck.
35:02You could say that, too.
35:05Listen, uh, look.
35:08I can figure this whole thing out.
35:12I am a private detective.
35:15Detective?
35:17Yeah.
35:18Lady, I believe everything you've said today, but you know what?
35:22Uh, I...
35:25You don't believe I'm a detective, huh?
35:27I'm afraid not.
35:29What do you spell gorilla?
35:32I wonder what Charlie's gonna say.
35:34You mean about the cost of Sabrina's bail?
35:36It really adds up, doesn't it?
35:38Operating a vehicle without a license,
35:40stealing a truck, reckless driving,
35:42and I never even heard of felony littering.
35:44Uh...
35:46Well, Sabrina's busy turning into one of the ten most wanted.
35:49What have we learned?
35:50Did Alene's apartment tell you anything?
35:52Well, it tells me she probably didn't go away for a romantic weekend.
35:56She left her most expensive perfume and her eyelashes and all that stuff.
36:00I guess that pretty much confirms
36:02Alene's disappearance as a kidnap victim.
36:04I'll take one, too, boss.
36:06Pretty much.
36:08Listen, whoever it was has a good set of teeth prints on his right hand.
36:13If it was Billy, I think I could get close enough to find out.
36:16He likes me.
36:18Yeah, well, if it was Billy, I wouldn't get too close.
36:21It's not fully domesticated yet.
36:24I'll have a double.
36:25You got it.
36:27Okay, boys and girls, from the top.
36:30Ready? And...
36:321, 2, 3, 4,
36:345, 6, 7, 8.
36:361, 2, 3, 4,
36:375, 6, 7, 8.
36:391, 2...
36:40Wait, hold it, hold it, hold it.
36:42Let's go back.
36:43Take it from the follow-up.
36:45Ready? And...
36:471, 2, 3, 4,
36:495, 6, 7, 8.
36:511, 2, 3, 4,
36:535, 6, 7, 8.
36:55Wait, hold it. Hold it. Take five when I say five. I mean three hundred seconds and start counting
37:02one
37:031,000
37:08I'm sorry. I'll practice that move tonight. Okay, honey
37:13You don't have enough nights in your life to get that move. I am going to take you out of this line and
37:19And turn you over to Michael who's Michael our top clown
37:23He'll put you in a red nose pillar here pillar there
37:27Hey to ruin such a figure, but this way if you if you fall, they'll think it's funny
37:32Okay, now go. All right, boys and girls. It's back to work now
37:38What's that for for being a sweet guy and not firing me oh, I can't stand gushing now go
37:44All right, boys and girls. We're gonna take it back from the top
37:49Ready
38:14When do I go in
38:16Soon I need two days to fix the guns fix them, right?
38:34Your album go away
38:36Must be turned ready yet. And if I'm not
38:39They told me you could fix anything. I think my blades a little. Oh sure. No sweat. This is this what blew me out
38:46Excuse me. You see
38:47See this. I used to do two flips with the roll over more barrels and you got freckles and one day I
38:54Landed perfect elevation and everything
38:57blade snapped and started this leg I
39:01Really appreciate this
39:03You know around here, aren't you?
39:05Sometimes I feel like a stranger in a crowd
39:07Everybody knows what's going on except me. What's to know about?
39:11Well, I mean about your two lead skaters disappearing, I mean Helene and Jack
39:16Yeah, do you have any idea what happened?
39:20That's easy I figure they're dead they're just dead that's all
39:25How come you figure that?
39:26Well when you get ice in your blood you just don't up and leave like you take me
39:31Gimpy old me I get too far away from Isa. I get nervous
39:35Yeah, they must be dead
39:37Doesn't seem to bother you very much. I'm being human is a terminal illness. We all deserve what we get when we deserve it
39:44Yeah, I figure they must be dead
39:50Waiting for the muskets Iggy you are asking about the muskets your hearing is perfect. All right, excuse me if you will gentlemen
39:59Here you are my darling
40:02And
40:04Aim at them now, come on dear just like we've been rehearsing
40:09one and two and
40:11aim and fire
40:14Perfect even better than perfect. All right. Now, when will they all be fixed?
40:18Well, I figure for work all night. You can have them tomorrow for rehearsal
40:23Well in that case Iggy you are perfect too. I know
40:28Wait, wait, wait
40:31I
40:51Would you be interested in advancing Mason Fairchild a loan
40:56Payable within the year at 12% interest and that is much better than anything. The banks are offering. No, thanks
41:03You know, I thought this territory was going to pay dividends
41:07I have been here for more than one week and thus far have not been
41:13Compensated enough to drown a termite much less wet a man's whistle
41:17But of course you've been here for over a week
41:22through thick and thin
41:25Foul weather and worse. I
41:31Say you you don't happen to have a little little drink in that bag of yours, do you?
41:39No, but if you'd answer a few questions for me, I might be able to work something out
41:43Are you intimating that I have my prize?
41:48Yes
41:52Sweet nectar
41:55Okay now Mason
41:58Could you tell me if you've seen anything out of the ordinary since you've been staying outside the I show
42:04would you believe a
42:07long
42:08blue thing that spits money and
42:13Sucks people up right off the street
42:16Must have been the third you see now
42:18What?
42:19Young lady, please pay attention in five minutes
42:23I
42:24Will not be coherent
42:26Um, I'm sorry. Could you could you just tell me that again?
42:30long and blue with
42:34smoked windows car a
42:37limousine a
42:39blue
42:40limousine you are a believer
42:44I think I have seen it sits there like a beast and it spits them out and sucks them in
42:52Just like a vacuum cleaner
42:56Listen, um, Mason, I wasn't close enough to get the license plate
43:01Did you have to get it? Oh, no. No, they only do that in
43:061930 movies
43:08on the other hand it was in 1930 that they had a
43:13Superb sherry it was called diplomat
43:17the most exquisite bouquet
43:22Diplomat
43:23That's what it said on the license plate
43:27diplomat
43:28You sure young lady?
43:31Do I look like someone who is not?
43:34sure of himself
43:37Mason don't ask me that
43:52Oh
44:23I thought I was the only crazy working late
44:32Who is it
44:35That's what the crazy pass what is it Halloween or something?
44:53You
45:06He calls it the blue people popper and he says it also spits out money, oh, that's great now
45:12We've got a drunk that sounds like a bad song supplying the clues
45:15He also saw the diplomat license plates
45:19Which means the car is from a foreign consulate in the city a foreign consulate foreign government involvement
45:25This could get very sticky Sabrina
45:28Charlie I
45:33Got a feeling we're running out of time
45:35Ready and one two, three, four, five six, seven eight two two, three
45:41Four five six seven eight three two three four five six seven eight four two three four five six
45:49seven eight five two three four five six seven eight six two three four five six seven eight muskets up
45:58Aim and fire
46:01Really adequate. What is this with muskets up? And all I see is sticks
46:06Alvin, baby
46:08How are we gonna get them to get the feel of everything all I see in the hands of sticks
46:13All right, boys and girls go to lunch
46:17because
46:18Iggy said that they would be here today
46:22Again with it. I don't want to hear anything more about it
46:25I
46:36Mean what is this with no muskets Iggy?
46:55I
47:05It's not supposed to be any visitors in here it is. All right. He's my cousin visiting from the other side. Hey
47:12Where is my Iggy? I don't know man. How could you not know between you and Iggy?
47:17I depend upon you for everything. I didn't see him today
47:20Well, when you see him tell him he's fired and if you find him tell him we need those muskets
47:26Who
47:28Is this this is my cousin Durgis he just came over I thought maybe you could find some work here
47:35Send him to unemployment Billy. I told you no visitors. I told him no visitors max. Mr
47:41You gotta go
47:44Please
47:45Durgis is a master woodcarver and a machinist and he works very cheap
47:50Jeep, huh? Can you fix muskets?
47:54Durgis can fix anything. Yes, it is
47:57Okay, you're hired until we find Iggy then you're fired Billy
48:02Show him where to go
48:23I
48:53You
49:23You
49:53You