WORST People We've Met Abroad (World's Still Spinnin' Episode 3)
The Wonton Don | Donnie Does
Transcript
00:00 And lo and behold, that guy has pooped down his legs all over the balcony.
00:06 He'd shit down his kecks.
00:08 He'd shit down his leg.
00:09 He was like, he was in a well of pain.
00:11 Hey, how are you?
00:17 Welcome back to episode three of world's still spinning with
00:21 the Wonton Don and Steed.
00:23 How are we?
00:24 We're doing great.
00:25 It's, it's been a while.
00:27 The last time I saw you, you were eating shrooms and about to head
00:32 to a full moon party in Thailand.
00:33 So how, how did the rest of your trip in Thailand go?
00:36 How did that?
00:37 I don't even know how that podcast went.
00:40 Cause, uh, I remember, I remember talking, I remember it going really well.
00:43 And then I'd eaten, I took like a ball, like a bar of mushrooms.
00:49 It was a chocolate one.
00:50 I've even got some chocolate mushrooms and these from America.
00:53 And it was three grams.
00:55 Now I know about four to five grams is way over what you should say, but I
00:59 thought, right, I'll have a half of that before I see, before I see Donnie.
01:03 I didn't think it was going to kick in so quick.
01:06 And then as I'm munching on the other half, I figured through the
01:09 podcast, it just went, and I was like, Oh shit, I'm in trouble here.
01:15 The shrooms are starting, are starting to kick in on Steed's end.
01:19 How are you feeling there Steed?
01:20 John, you know, I'm not going to lie.
01:22 Uh, the world's moving.
01:24 The world is still spinning.
01:26 It's spinning in many, many different colors as well right now.
01:29 It seemed to me the shrooms kicked in at the perfect time.
01:33 Cause it was towards the end of the podcast.
01:35 And I think I was in the middle of telling a story and I could just
01:37 see your eyes getting bigger and bigger.
01:40 And then after I finished the story, you were like, yeah, mate, I'm on another planet.
01:47 Wow.
01:49 About one hour after that, we actually walked up the road to get this tuk-tuk.
01:55 Now, if you're not familiar with a tuk-tuk, especially on the islands in Thailand,
01:59 it's not a tuk-tuk like Bangkok.
02:01 It's a big long tuk-tuk that has about 10 people on it.
02:04 So I was the only one on mushrooms and I was just like, Oh my God.
02:09 And then he stopped.
02:10 He's like, I'm just going to get these two people on.
02:12 And this, this lad and a girl, really good looking girl, really good looking lad.
02:16 They got on and I had a glance down the tuk-tuk and he started talking to us.
02:22 He said, Oh, we are from the Czech Republic.
02:25 And we're getting on with them Sam, but I'm at the top.
02:27 I'm just like, I don't need to speak.
02:28 All the other people are on stuff that makes you want to speak to people.
02:32 I was on three grams of mushrooms and I was just like, no.
02:36 And then I heard these words.
02:37 We're not really from Czech Republic.
02:39 We are from Israel.
02:41 Israel.
02:42 So mate, I thought Mossad were on my tuk-tuk.
02:47 I'm on mushrooms.
02:48 I thought Mossad had finally caught up with me.
02:51 And I was like, what's going on?
02:52 And then the guy stopped again and he brought on two Thai ladies of the night.
02:58 And they had all this, this technicolor stuff going on.
03:02 And then mushrooms.
03:04 I was just like, this time, maybe I'm too old for this these days.
03:08 I don't know.
03:08 Like these mushrooms really, really black me.
03:11 But then when I got on the beach, it was, it was sound.
03:14 I had a few buckets.
03:15 There was all this music going on and I opened up and it was, it was, it was
03:19 really, really cool, but yeah, I had the, I had the tough time the first
03:22 hour of those mushrooms, mate.
03:25 Yeah.
03:25 When you're on shrooms, you don't really like to meet new people.
03:28 It's nice to just take them around folks.
03:30 You know, I wanted to tell you just, just one thing that happened in the, in the,
03:35 in the full moon party, I was a big, massive guy, dead, mostly dead big.
03:41 And he had all he had on was this, this pink pair of shorts, this tight
03:45 shorts and these, these angel wings.
03:47 And, uh, there's a lot of guys from the middle East who were in Thailand at the
03:52 moment, like it's obviously very easy for them to go to Thailand and they've walked
03:56 past this guy who we hadn't spoke to.
03:58 And he's like, he's like five feet away, six feet away on the left, just enjoying
04:02 himself.
04:03 He's got these angel wings on.
04:05 He's obviously gay, but he's this massive guy.
04:08 And, uh, these, these middle Eastern guys go past them and they give them all the
04:12 shit and the poke on them.
04:13 And he was huge and he could have just gone snap and snapped them all.
04:18 And he's just like, so I've told myself, you know what?
04:23 And I've said to this guy, you know what mate, whoever you are, don't let them put
04:28 you down.
04:29 You be whoever you want to be.
04:31 I think it's fucking great that you're here enjoying yourself, being who you want
04:36 to be, having a laugh, like the world's all connected.
04:40 Then I'm on all the mushrooms.
04:41 Everyone's on this level, like blah, blah, blah.
04:44 Love Colu's.
04:44 But the world's still spinning.
04:47 And he says to me, I'm from California.
04:50 I'm like, oh mate, that's fantastic.
04:53 I'm from Liverpool.
04:54 Like, blah.
04:55 He's like, can I tell you a joke?
04:56 I was like, yeah, you can tell me a joke and I must stress, this isn't my joke.
05:05 This is this gay guy from California with angel wings.
05:08 And he says to me, we're on a fucking beach in Thailand.
05:14 We're in the form of a party.
05:16 And he goes, what's better than being in the Paralympics?
05:20 I'm like, mate, I don't know.
05:27 I don't know.
05:27 And he's like, not being a fucking retard.
05:31 And I was like, I'm just stepped in.
05:37 Like, I was like, oh, like we've got to go boys.
05:40 We've got to go back up this other end of the beach.
05:42 I can't be near it.
05:43 Weird though.
05:44 Like that was his, that was his, uh, that was his opening line.
05:48 And yeah, you were just trying to help him and be like, you
05:51 should stand up for yourself.
05:52 Like, don't worry.
05:53 Don't feel bad if those people made fun of you for being gay.
05:56 And then he just immediately drops a zinger on the R words.
06:01 I mean, not even like stick up for yourself because, you know,
06:04 he looked like he really could.
06:05 But I was like, mate, you've just been, you've just been the object of, you
06:12 know, someone picking on you.
06:14 And then, and then when I've stepped in and said like, ah, don't worry about it.
06:18 But he's gone full circle.
06:22 It's like, fuck, California.
06:24 Probably never go weird people.
06:26 Uh, yeah.
06:28 We'll have to ask the audience if they thought that joke was funny or not.
06:32 Yeah.
06:32 I must, I must.
06:33 I could write like a, a gay version of that joke, but I'm not going to do it live.
06:40 You know, what's better than a lead role on Broadway?
06:45 Not being a fucking F word.
06:58 I think you're going to have to cut that.
07:00 I think you might have to cut that.
07:02 Well, no, it was just me trying to do a play on that.
07:04 And obviously there's nothing wrong with being gay and there's nothing wrong
07:08 with having a lead role on Broadway.
07:09 And I just want to do a disclaimer.
07:17 Not all these people are bad people, but they're either like the
07:22 strangest people we met abroad.
07:25 Um, or yeah, there are some legitimate bad people on the list too.
07:30 Uh, I also want to, I also want to preface this by saying, uh, it's
07:37 only let me spend one at a time.
07:39 I also want to preface this by saying, uh, that, uh, you know, I hang
07:45 around with a, with a nice bunch of people and we always did, and we
07:50 never allowed, uh, racist misogynist.
07:54 I'm not talking about cancel culture.
07:56 We just didn't hang around with a bunch of weirdos, you know, and we always.
08:02 We hung around with a bunch of weirdos, but they weren't racist
08:06 or misogynistic weirdos.
08:07 So this is one of the people who I wouldn't say was a bad person, but he
08:12 just had an unfortunate accident and it could happen to any of us.
08:17 So this was probably the first week of me knowing Stede, or was
08:22 this like the first night?
08:24 Yeah.
08:24 Yeah.
08:24 This was maybe my second time hanging out with you.
08:27 So we met a fellow British expat hanging out at a pub in Guangzhou.
08:33 I had known Stede for only a week.
08:35 And as you would usually do, we all went back to your apartment after
08:40 the bar for an after party.
08:42 And those could go till four in the morning to the following night.
08:48 This guy showed up, he was clearly drunk.
08:51 And I think on some other substances as well that he kept on indulging in
08:56 once we got back to your apartment.
08:58 And so we're all hanging out in the living room and all of a sudden I hear
09:01 one of the girls there shriek and look out to the balcony and lo and behold,
09:05 that guy has pooped down his legs all over the balcony.
09:11 He'd shit down his kicks.
09:13 He'd shit down his leg.
09:14 He was like, he was in a well of pain.
09:16 That kid.
09:17 Yeah.
09:17 He was wearing shorts.
09:19 So there was just a Brown streak all down his leg.
09:21 And then a couple like plops of poop on the balcony.
09:25 The plops of poop was huge.
09:27 How did they even get like, that was like, what's going on?
09:31 And so everyone was just inside laughing at him.
09:35 He's out on the balcony.
09:36 He still hasn't even realized he's pooped himself.
09:38 And I'm like, all right, I got to go and let him know so he can get cleaned up.
09:42 And, um, I was like, mate, I think you shit yourself.
09:47 And his response was nah, mate, that's not mine.
09:51 He just refused to believe.
09:55 I don't blame him.
09:56 That must've been really traumatic.
09:58 I felt so bad for him.
10:01 And I was like, guys, I know this is hilarious, but like,
10:04 let's try to go easy on him.
10:05 I think it's time for him to go home.
10:07 And so I'm like walking him out of the apartment and I was like, don't worry,
10:11 mate, it happens to the best of us.
10:12 And I think it was you.
10:13 You're like, yeah, when we're seven.
10:16 And like everybody in the room starts cracking up.
10:19 And then that's when, uh, we just, we just didn't see him again.
10:24 I think we did see him again though.
10:26 And he was like, yeah, I, I put in my two weeks at work.
10:29 I think he realized he was like, yeah, I'm just known as the guy who
10:33 shat on Steve's balcony now amongst all of the expats in Guangzhou.
10:37 Like I probably, I need to go back to the UK and just start a new life.
10:41 Do you remember he'd only been there as long as you've been there.
10:45 And, uh, remember Rachel, the scouts girl, Daz's bed.
10:48 So Rachel's in some meal and, uh, she come back the next day and she was like,
10:55 oh my God, uh, I was, I was talking in this meal about this, this kid on the
11:00 balcony who'd shat his pants and she said, he looked up, it was like a school meal.
11:06 And she didn't know we'd started working in school.
11:09 And she said, she looked up and he was like, yeah, that was me.
11:14 He didn't even shit.
11:14 It seems like all the shit just went on your balcony.
11:17 So his pants, man.
11:18 Yeah.
11:19 I mean, remember the cat, remember the cat that I got?
11:21 Like, I think I got the cat the same time I got you on a, that ginger
11:25 cat just started eating that lads.
11:27 Oh God.
11:29 Like I think I've sent you a picture of the cat with you as well.
11:33 So if I haven't, I'll send it now to copy.
11:36 I feel really bad about this, but I submitted a few of those pics to
11:41 work for Barstool, we had a website called Barstool you, where they would
11:44 just share funny stories and I sent them in some photos and the story of the
11:48 guy shit in the balcony and they posted a blog about it at one point.
11:52 Uh, I don't know if the blog is still up and I was like, God damn it.
11:57 If that guy sees this blog, next up, we're going to be talking about DJ Spenny.
12:03 I did do a video about him.
12:05 Look it up.
12:06 It's on my old YouTube page.
12:08 Have you ever seen the video I did called Donnie does Shanghai's number one DJ.
12:11 I watched that from Guangzhou thinking to myself, should I move to Shanghai?
12:17 Yeah.
12:19 So when I arrived in Shanghai, there was this British dude who apparently sold
12:23 his company back in the UK and made like $15 million, didn't have to work the
12:28 rest of his life and decided to move to China and become the city's number one DJ.
12:34 Now he wasn't, he wasn't officially like ranked number one or anything, but he had
12:39 the money to just make all of these posters that he put all over town and he
12:43 would rent like 10 Chinese models for the day and just take a bunch of photos with
12:48 him and just scantily clad Chinese woman.
12:51 And then in big words on the poster would say, DJ Spenny Shanghai's number one DJ.
12:57 And then he was the resident DJ at this place.
13:00 And just by looking at the poster, I was like, all right, this guy seems like a bit
13:05 of a wanker.
13:06 But then I started to hear stories about him too.
13:09 Like he was in the softball league there and he would roll up to every softball game
13:14 of like two women on his arm and was like so proud of his team.
13:20 Like he won the home run Derby a couple of years in a row and just would like have the
13:25 trophies hung up in his apartment.
13:26 This is my most prized possession.
13:29 I fucking won the home run Derby.
13:31 This is my brother tying the kingpin.
13:32 Everyone was like, this, this guy's a huge prick.
13:35 And then my buddy happened to be invited to his maybe 30th birthday.
13:38 I don't know.
13:39 And he was like, I'm allowed to bring friends if you want to come.
13:43 And I was like, I need to meet this guy for myself.
13:45 And, um, we showed up with a camera guy and he was pumped because he was like, I'm
13:50 going to bring friends.
13:51 I'm going to bring friends.
13:52 And, um, we showed up with a camera guy and he was pumped because he just like loves the
13:58 limelight.
13:59 So when he heard that like,
14:00 It's like the trainees video where you had all the shoes on the, like.
14:03 I stole his shoes.
14:05 I stole his shoes at, at the end of the party.
14:07 Kiss my trophy.
14:09 Kiss my balls.
14:10 Willow will steal his shoes.
14:11 Just kiss my trophy.
14:13 Show me how much you want it.
14:15 Show me the money.
14:17 Hey, Melissa.
14:18 I won't kiss his trophy.
14:19 But I will steal his shoes.
14:22 And so he loves the limelight.
14:24 So when he heard like some guy was going to show up and film a video about him, he got
14:28 like very excited, was performing in front of the camera all night.
14:33 And, um, yeah, he like he's on camera being like, I've banged 1500 Chinese girls.
14:38 The count of three, let's say how many Chinese chicks have you banged?
14:41 One, two, three.
14:43 1,300.
14:44 God damn it, Spenny.
14:47 You show me up on my own TV show.
14:49 And he's he's on camera showing off his home run derby trophies.
14:54 And yeah, he did.
14:57 He didn't come off great in the video.
14:59 And when I put it out, he was like, oh, shit, this guy just made a video just making me
15:06 look like shit.
15:07 I thought it was going to be a fluff piece.
15:09 I brought you three beers in advance.
15:11 But I can't say one thing.
15:12 I don't drink beer.
15:13 Why did you book a gym at Tony?
15:16 You don't drink beer.
15:17 Come on.
15:19 Look at my body.
15:20 I think because of that video, he had to rebrand.
15:24 So he went from DJ Spenny and then had to rebrand as Spencer Tarring.
15:30 We'll throw in a few clips into the podcast because it's a rare case where we actually
15:34 have the.
15:35 Because I'm going to be honest and say, when you moved away, I wanted to give you space
15:41 and time to do what you need to do in Shanghai.
15:45 So I didn't want to be on your case.
15:46 So how are you doing?
15:47 What's your day?
15:47 You know, I like to I like to message.
15:49 I like to like we chat and like you were doing your thing.
15:53 And I've seen this video and I thought, what kind of fucking people is Donnie
15:57 Anka nowadays?
15:58 Like, why have I let him go to the I thought like he was one of your good mates.
16:03 No, he's.
16:05 Today, it is day.
16:07 I wanted to say to you what the blazes were you doing with this DJ Spenny?
16:12 Like, oh, my God.
16:13 The guy knows how to throw a party.
16:16 Hey, it was a it was a nice party.
16:17 At one point, though, he had a Harley Davidson or he had some sort of motorcycle that he
16:24 just kept inside his apartment and he has a stripper pole in his apartment as well.
16:29 So we had some girls work in the pole and then he brought out the motorcycle, turned
16:33 it on inside and just started to rev it.
16:35 Breathing in the fumes, you know, it makes me feel like I'm alive.
16:46 And the entire apartment just filled up with fumes.
16:49 I was like, I'm breathing in fucking motorcycle fumes, dude.
16:52 Like, it's not that cool.
16:53 No, that's the thing where we live.
16:55 Well, where I live, you're going to get found out.
16:58 People are going to people are going to after a week or two or three weeks or
17:02 whatever, you're going to get found out in this place.
17:05 You can't pretend to be this this or this because there's so many people for me and
17:10 everywhere. Like I've got Iranian mates.
17:14 I've got Iraqi mates.
17:15 I've got I've got mates from Chile.
17:17 Like, you know, what's that called?
17:21 Where are they from? Costa Rica, Australia, Norway.
17:25 Like you're going to get found out by someone.
17:27 Someone's going to say, nah, you know what I mean?
17:30 Like, it's just not the place to pretend you are an international DJ if you're
17:36 actually not.
17:36 But hey, if you if you have ten million dollars, you could probably start some sort
17:42 of career because he was he was paying for the last million dollars.
17:46 You're not going to go launch a DJ career in Shanghai.
17:49 It's probably not.
17:52 It's probably not going to be your apartment.
17:56 I don't know.
17:56 I don't know.
17:57 I don't know.
17:57 Davidson in an apartment in Shanghai.
18:00 You're going to be able to vote somewhere.
18:01 I would like to know what he's doing because I lost.
18:04 No, because he was he was paying for actually well-known DJs to collab with him
18:08 and trying to make it big that way.
18:11 DJ Spenny, if you're watching this.
18:14 Oh, yeah.
18:15 So come on.
18:17 Dude, he actually so I just found his profile online.
18:21 Spencer Tarring is a self-made entrepreneur with a reputation for his no
18:25 nonsense, straight talking attitude.
18:28 He has a track record of starting and selling multiple tech businesses and
18:32 establishing himself as a seasoned veteran in the industry.
18:36 He's got a Spotify page.
18:38 So if you guys want to check it out, feel free.
18:41 Dude, he probably has Google alerts on for his name.
18:44 So he'll most definitely end up watching this podcast.
18:47 On this Google alerts.
18:50 Are you?
18:50 I mean, I'm so Google alert.
18:52 Just if your name is mentioned like in an article anywhere, you'll get you'll get an
18:58 alert.
18:58 So have you got Google alerts that must be pinging all the time for you.
19:02 I do not.
19:03 My my dad has them on.
19:05 So he'll always like you.
19:07 You are.
19:09 No, for me.
19:10 So I'm asking you, dad's name doesn't get mentioned a lot.
19:15 No, just a bunch.
19:17 No.
19:17 But didn't I didn't let me your parents have a cow and you were in that green
19:23 suit. I think it was the time you snuck into the money.
19:25 But, you know, fight.
19:27 I totally forgot about that.
19:28 So if you've seen the video of me sneaking into the Manny Pacquiao fight, Steve was at
19:32 that fight. And I think it was you.
19:34 I got you.
19:34 You did.
19:35 Yeah, you got me the ticket.
19:37 So we were sitting together way up in the nosebleeds and I was like, Steve, these
19:41 seats are not going to work for me.
19:43 I'm wearing a fucking green suit.
19:44 I just want to see if I can get down.
19:47 Think of the douchiest, most casino esque name you can think of and start telling all
19:52 the security guards that he's your father and he owns the place.
19:55 My father's like Ricky Petugio.
19:57 He owns the Venetian.
19:59 It's kind of it's kind of a big deal.
20:01 That's guaranteed to get you past at least the first level of security.
20:05 And the next thing you know, I'm literally in the ring with Pacquiao, including Alex
20:09 Arisa and congratulated him on a tough fight.
20:12 Tell me about that.
20:14 Yes, you did it for the beans back.
20:17 Yeah, you know, it's good.
20:19 Let's get created.
20:22 Your era is not over.
20:23 The Pacquiao era is not over before the fight.
20:25 Do you think that you proved that point with this fight?
20:28 And who do you want going forward?
20:31 You know, first I had I actually had a video of you working your way down
20:36 and I was next to Abby and I was like, I don't think he's going to get.
20:40 Oh, no, he's got to that security detail.
20:43 And I was like, he's getting all the way to the ring.
20:45 And I was like, no, no way.
20:46 And you just you're just going down.
20:48 I need security detail.
20:50 You just walk through like you own the place.
20:52 And then the next thing you hit the ring.
20:55 That was the weirdest night because people don't I don't think they know this.
20:59 But because the game was in Macau, the fight was in Macau and not Las Vegas.
21:04 It started at ten thirty in the morning.
21:07 So I was in Hong Kong.
21:09 I took like a four a.m.
21:10 boat to Macau.
21:12 And I remember meeting up with you at a club at maybe seven in the morning.
21:16 So we were just like raging at a club seven to ten and then went straight
21:20 into the fight.
21:21 I think I think I'd gone straight through
21:24 and I told my wife to meet me at like eight or nine in the morning,
21:28 because obviously she's like she's not going to party all the way through.
21:31 But I think I've gone straight to like casinos and parties.
21:36 And yeah, I met you.
21:37 I think we were in like, I'm here.
21:40 I was like, I seen this guy in a green suit down the road.
21:44 And I was like, yeah, that's him. Come on.
21:46 I lost a green jacket.
21:47 I'm very pissed off about it.
21:49 Well, I have one more short story about a guy.
21:52 And then we can see if you have a few names to throw in the throw in the ring.
21:56 I have two and I don't know whether to just say one or two because
22:00 because one of them is really bad.
22:04 The other ones like a guy's fucked up, but one of them is really bad.
22:07 So you go first and then I'll decide which one.
22:10 OK, this one's not really bad.
22:13 Just I used to throw events in Shanghai with this guy who went by Shanghai, John.
22:19 He was from the US.
22:21 I don't know his backstory too well, but he had this giant tattoo
22:25 that just circled his belly button that said
22:28 International Playboy or something like that.
22:32 So I knew that like I was like, all right, this this is a weird dude.
22:37 Just if you're going to get International Playboy around your belly button.
22:41 And he was a very odd guy.
22:43 Didn't dig into his past too much.
22:47 But this one time he showed up and he's like,
22:49 just got engaged with my girlfriend, like, oh, we're so happy for you.
22:54 How'd you do it?
22:55 And he was dating this Ukrainian girl and they were just in bed.
22:59 She was sound asleep while she is sound asleep.
23:03 He just puts the ring on her finger
23:05 and and then wakes her up and he's like,
23:09 surprise, we're engaged.
23:12 And she was like, you didn't even give me the option to say fucking yes or no.
23:18 And he was so proud.
23:20 And then he would like he showed up with his Ukrainian girlfriend.
23:23 He was like, yeah, we're engaged.
23:24 And you could tell she was just like, what the fuck?
23:27 I did not agree to this.
23:29 Just woke up with the engagement ring on.
23:31 And yeah, I think they called off the engagement maybe six months later.
23:36 I knew a fella.
23:38 I don't know if you remember him.
23:39 Guy called.
23:39 Scared to even mention his name.
23:43 He comes back.
23:44 You can use a fake name.
23:46 No, I was just his name is Jason.
23:49 And he was from one of the Carolinas and exactly how you'd expect them to be.
23:54 And he'd been in the army and he was obviously troubled.
23:57 He'd done a couple of tours in Iraq and he'd married.
24:00 He'd married a Chinese girl who we'd never seen.
24:03 But he walked down with a bag of crystal meth and a bottle of baijiu
24:09 at all possible times.
24:11 It was when we lived in in Lijiang, Huaiyuan.
24:13 So there was like a little expat community there, wasn't there?
24:17 There was a few Huaiyuan, there was a few foreigners there.
24:20 And so we got we got made to them and he'd come round, he'd have a few drinks.
24:24 But he was obviously troubled.
24:26 And then he phoned me up one day and he said,
24:29 he said, you owe me a million dollars.
24:34 And I was like, Jason, I mean, this guy was scary.
24:37 This guy was big.
24:38 He was fucking hard.
24:40 He told us he'd done black ops and all this stuff.
24:47 And you know me, I don't really get scared of many people
24:49 because a lot of people have a lot of bluster.
24:51 But this guy actually really fucking scared me.
24:54 Andy was constantly on crystal meth.
24:58 Like crystal meth, like are we taught in a university?
25:02 I'll never know.
25:04 He used to complain about the wages.
25:08 He'd come round and he'd be like, they're only paying me this.
25:12 Dude, you're teaching them on crystal meth.
25:16 I mean, there was so much stuff available, as you know.
25:20 So he was on crystal meth all the time.
25:22 So he phoned me up one day and he said, look, I owe you owe me a million dollars
25:26 for that bet.
25:27 It was when England played USA in the World Cup, not the last World Cup,
25:31 like two World Cups ago or something.
25:34 And he's like, we bet a million dollars on the game.
25:36 I was like, Jason, fuck off.
25:38 I said, I don't even like the World Cup.
25:40 I'm from Liverpool.
25:41 He's like, I'll fucking show you.
25:43 And then about two days later, there's a knock on my door
25:46 and I look through the little hole and I turn to the tall guy
25:52 and I'm like, fuck, it's Jason.
25:55 And he ran to his bedroom and locked the door.
25:57 And I've opened the door to this Jason guy.
26:01 And you know what?
26:03 I'll tell you after.
26:04 But at the time, he walks in with this vest on, all these tattoos showing.
26:11 And he's got a fish tank, a machete and a towel.
26:15 And I'm just like.
26:18 I'm like, what the what the what the fuck, bro?
26:23 Like, seriously.
26:24 And he's like, I need to speak to you.
26:27 And I was like, oh, my God, like I've got I've got no time.
26:31 I've got no defense mechanisms against against against the machete
26:35 or against the towel going around my neck or against the fish tank going over my head.
26:40 I was thinking he's going to I literally thought he was going to chop me up
26:43 and put me in the fish tank.
26:45 And he starts saying he starts saying,
26:48 where's my motorbike?
26:51 I don't know where your motorbike is.
26:54 I don't know where your motorbike is.
26:56 And I'm trying not to laugh.
26:58 He's like, I parked my motorbike and I can't find it.
27:01 So I know you've got something to do with it.
27:03 I was like, Jason, seriously, mate, I've got nothing to do with your motorbike.
27:07 I don't know where your motorbike is.
27:08 I'll go up with you and try and find it.
27:10 And then he's like, you know what happened to me last night?
27:13 He's like the floor above was shouting death to America,
27:18 death to America, death to America.
27:21 So he's gone out of his apartment and he's gone up the stairs
27:24 and he started trying to kick this door in.
27:26 And he said he can hear them shouting death to America.
27:30 And he's trying to kick this door in.
27:32 And after about 20 minutes, whatever, the police come
27:35 and they've said through the door, this is the Chinese police, open up.
27:39 And it's a little old woman who's sitting there, frightened for her life.
27:43 And Jason's like, I realized that they weren't shouting death to America.
27:48 It was just a little old woman sitting in an apartment doing nothing.
27:50 Like he was that, he was that like messed up.
27:53 That's the crystal meth.
27:55 That's the crystal?
27:57 So I said, do you want to go out and look for your bike?
27:59 Or do you want to? He's like, well, before we go look for my bike,
28:01 what about the million dollars you owe me?
28:05 I was like, I don't know how I'm getting out of this.
28:08 Now, to be fair, did you actually make a million dollar bet with him?
28:12 Made for the England.
28:15 He phoned me up before the England-America game.
28:18 He said, let's make a bet.
28:21 A million dollars.
28:22 And I was like, look, I don't even like England.
28:24 I don't even like international football.
28:26 I only like Liverpool.
28:28 I only like Premiership football.
28:29 Leave me the fuck alone, Jason. Put the phone down.
28:32 He took that as I bet him a million dollars.
28:35 And it was nil-nil.
28:36 So England didn't beat the England didn't beat USA.
28:39 So I don't know.
28:41 Somehow he thought I owed him a million.
28:42 I mean, I met him a few years later,
28:44 and he was in some motorcycle gang in Panju called the Hell's Heroes.
28:50 And half of them had 150cc skirts.
28:57 Yeah, but they all had the leathers.
29:00 And if anyone wanted to join, they had to be a prospect for a year.
29:04 Like people on a scooter.
29:06 It was fucking crazy.
29:07 These people were these people mental.
29:09 Jason, if you're watching this, really respected.
29:12 Yeah, he's back in North Carolina now.
29:15 He went home to try and start a chapter of Hell's Heroes in North Carolina.
29:20 It didn't go well for him, I heard.
29:22 But he was really a nice guy, really intelligent, just messed up by war,
29:27 messed up by crystal meth.
29:28 But as much as I really, really liked him,
29:32 when he had these lucid moments, he was a scary cat.
29:36 He was a proper scary cat.
29:38 Yeah, I mean, when you said you knew some American dude from the Carolinas,
29:43 I thought you were going to mention the dude who ended up on
29:46 America's Most Wanted list because he molested his daughter,
29:50 murdered his wife, fled to Mexico, then moved to Shanghai,
29:54 and then worked as a teacher in Shanghai for 10 years.
29:59 Had a new Chinese wife, named his Chinese daughter
30:02 after his wife that he had killed.
30:05 And then the only way he got caught is one of his former
30:10 Chinese students had moved to America and I guess was bored some day
30:13 and decided to check out America's Most Wanted list.
30:16 And there he was.
30:18 She was like, that was my middle school teacher.
30:22 Wow.
30:24 And now nobody knows what happened to him.
30:27 I remember, you know what, the Chinese police got the well took him out.
30:30 I don't know. But I remember that story.
30:32 The frightening thing is, the frightening thing is, Donny,
30:36 the longer you get here now, I know a company who will
30:40 provide fake documents,
30:46 fake passports, fake... And to get a work visa here, you need a
30:54 things from your home country to say that you haven't been...
30:57 What? I don't know what it's called.
30:58 A police check, a background check.
31:01 I know a company who will supply a police check that
31:06 they will guarantee passes the embassy
31:10 because they paid someone off in the embassy.
31:12 Like there must be, I mean, and not just to work in China.
31:16 These companies can offer it for a lot of Asian companies.
31:20 And they say, look, you need a work visa for America.
31:23 We can supply a police check to go to America.
31:25 I mean, the scary thing is these people who do shit like this.
31:28 Can you know, if you know the right people, you can go,
31:31 you can go anywhere and do anything you want.
31:33 Scary, mate.
31:34 So I have a couple more people I want to bring up.
31:37 These aren't bad people, but this is just a hilarious, absurd story.
31:41 So you remember the after parties you always used to hold at your apartment
31:45 and there were these young Australian kids that used to come by
31:49 and they worked at the local theme park.
31:53 There was some big amusement park in China and they were all of the stunt guys.
31:58 The stunt guys, they were sound lads.
32:01 Sound lads. But they would show up at your party
32:04 and just be doing all sorts of substances and then be like, all right,
32:09 I got to go to the park where I'm going to be driving a motorcycle
32:14 off a ramp through like five rings of fire.
32:17 And every time they'd come by, I'm like, guys, this is not a good idea.
32:21 You you probably have one of the few jobs that
32:24 if you're not sober, there's like you could die.
32:28 I mean, they were like 18, 19 years old, weren't they?
32:32 And they were just, them Aussies were just living for the moment.
32:36 And lo and behold, I think after a while, one of them didn't show up.
32:40 And I was like, where's that guy?
32:41 And they were like, he set himself on fire at work.
32:43 He's in rough shape.
32:46 He's in like he's in the burn unit at the local hospital right now.
32:50 I think he made a full recovery.
32:52 But yeah, they ended up having some accidents.
32:54 Mate, there was a this isn't really a happy thing to say,
32:58 but the next wave after them, there was there was a Canadian.
33:03 There was two Canadian guys who came and they didn't party with me,
33:07 but I'd seen them out and
33:09 they were practicing a dive once on a
33:16 well, one of them missed the pool.
33:18 And from about fucking 30 foot up, hit the side of the pool and
33:21 yeah, so it was it was it was a dangerous occupation.
33:28 They were they were like French Canadian.
33:30 And I remember them well, yeah, they did the party and I was gone by then.
33:36 But I used to see them out down by the brew and not all the time.
33:39 Had a new brew and
33:40 yeah, he missed the side of the pool one day.
33:46 But was this at a theme park as well?
33:49 He was at the it was it wasn't in front of everyone.
33:53 It was it was Changlong Changlong theme park, but it was for a practice.
33:57 Oh, yeah. And I heard that they'd been they'd been.
34:01 Well, I don't know who's watching this.
34:03 I'm just saying he this poor lad.
34:06 You know, it wasn't it wasn't some of the stuff over there, like,
34:09 you know, the stunt stuff that people do.
34:12 It's not just teaching jobs or business or stuff.
34:15 There's there's a hell of a lot of people doing a hell of a lot of things here.
34:18 And not everything is totally safe.
34:20 But yet there was that one guy who
34:22 who didn't make it one day.
34:26 So RIP.
34:30 Didn't mean to bring that down.
34:32 Oh, no, it's fine.
34:34 Well, you mentioned the reality of the reality of
34:38 of wanting to come away and make money.
34:41 So yeah, yeah.
34:43 You got to take some risks.
34:46 Well, you mentioned Kevin Spacey was out in Guangzhou with you.
34:50 We had a local celeb in Shanghai, too.
34:53 Have you ever heard of B2K?
34:56 Oh, my my fingers not on the pulse with all these all these kids.
35:03 No, no. This was this was like an R&B group
35:07 I think was put together by P. Diddy back in the day.
35:11 Michelangelo, do you know B2K?
35:14 All right. Before you go, please say no.
35:17 Please say no.
35:18 He didn't know him. He's not much of a celebrity.
35:20 But I respect you.
35:22 Raz B was a member of this R&B trio
35:27 and the group split up a while ago and somehow he ended up in China.
35:32 So I used to see this Raz B all over the place and
35:37 pretty sure he tried to sell me drugs at some point.
35:40 He was in China and it was just hilarious
35:45 because he did have one hit song when I was in middle school.
35:48 And then I would just see him at parties in Shanghai all the time.
35:50 And I saw him performing once at this beer festival
35:54 and no one was paying attention.
35:55 And he was just on stage screaming at the crowd like, do you know who I am?
35:59 Do you know who I am? I am Raz B.
36:02 Pay a fucking attention.
36:05 And so that was sad.
36:07 But hey, I think B2K got back together and he moved back to the US.
36:11 So round of applause for Raz B.
36:13 Well, whoever they are, Raz B,
36:16 like fair play, lad, but never, never.
36:19 But just to a quick question.
36:22 What's the coolest place?
36:25 Are you Shanghai or Guangzhou?
36:28 Shanghai, I think as an overall city.
36:34 You were you were cooler than a lot of the people I met in Shanghai,
36:38 but I think as a place to live, my first five years in Shanghai takes the cake.
36:42 You know, I was I was in Shanghai just before I went to
36:47 Thailand on a shite, absolute shite.
36:52 Like doesn't compare.
36:54 But well, do you also start after?
36:56 Yeah, it's changed a lot.
36:57 I'm talking about my first.
36:58 It was it was it was just after Covid shut down.
37:02 No, that's not.
37:05 I've never particularly liked Shanghai Guangzhou.
37:07 Guangzhou was the one for me.
37:11 But Shanghai, Shanghai, fuck off.
37:13 The one other story I want to share, I think could wait
37:19 until the next the next episode.
37:21 Have you done any hilarious white face jobs?
37:24 White monkey gigs?
37:27 Yeah, I've done.
37:28 I've done one or two.
37:32 Which could wait till the next episode, because
37:34 like some of the stuff I've had to do to pretend to be
37:39 like a college leader or I know you've done some.
37:42 Maybe we can do this on the next one, because I've only got one story about that.
37:47 Yeah, we'll do it on the next one.
37:49 And maybe I can actually.
37:50 So I have a friend who was hired to be a male gigolo in Shanghai.
37:53 Maybe I'll see if he's willing to come on the podcast and share that firsthand.
37:59 I have a gigolo story actually, but I'll wait for the next one.
38:03 Yeah, we'll wait for the next one.
38:05 It was it was some random Chinese.
38:07 Some random Chinese dude.
38:09 No, no, it was not you, but it was a so a Chinese dude was finding my friend
38:14 tutoring gigs just to teach random Chinese people
38:18 how to speak English.
38:19 And one time he's like, by the way, I know you're an English tutor,
38:24 but I got another gig for you.
38:27 And that led to him getting hired by a gigolo.
38:30 So we'll talk about that on the next show.
38:32 I think now I know I know some of your ones.
38:36 You've been like a plastic surgeon.
38:40 We have been the head of a college.
38:44 So we'll have it. We'll have a go.
38:46 Yeah, we'll talk about that on the next show.
38:54 Now it's time for getting cultured, where we live.
38:58 So we go.
39:01 John is here first.
39:02 Yes. So John's going to ask a couple of questions.
39:05 But first I asked Frank the tank.
39:08 Do you know Frank the tank?
39:09 Is he is he the big fat one?
39:14 Yes. Yeah.
39:17 So Frank, the tank has never left the US.
39:22 And so I just asked him, hey, could you ask?
39:25 Yeah, he's not actually here.
39:27 You will have to meet him in person at some point.
39:30 I think you guys would get along really well.
39:32 But because like, what's this? What's this like?
39:36 No, I think you guys are both passionate people.
39:40 So let's see.
39:44 I yeah, let's see if I can find this.
39:45 I'm just going to play it into the mic.
39:48 So I'm just to say any any questions about any countries in the world?
39:52 Yeah. All right. All right.
39:55 Now, what is the difference between Trinidad and Tobago?
40:00 Question number one, what is the difference between Trinidad and Tobago?
40:07 Can you Google that?
40:12 But did the answer that seriously?
40:14 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:16 I I think they're just two islands directly next to each other
40:20 that decided to join forces and become the same country.
40:23 Is that true?
40:25 I mean, that's it.
40:27 Frank, the tank.
40:28 That's a serious question.
40:30 No, it's a serious question.
40:32 You're going to you're going to love the next one.
40:33 Wait, but what's the answer to that?
40:35 Are they are they two separate countries?
40:37 If they're two separate islands, just cause they're just together
40:41 as a you know, they're just ganged up on people.
40:43 So, OK, they were like, look, you Jamaica, which is that answer,
40:47 but you go, we're having to go you.
40:49 All right. Here's his second question.
40:51 Is it me or does Papua New Guinea
40:54 look like a Brontosaurus?
40:58 OK, I think it actually does.
41:01 I think
41:02 made Frank is Frank is 100 percent right.
41:07 Papua Papua New Guinea looks like a Brontosaurus.
41:12 And that is, in fact, a I don't know if you know this.
41:15 That is, in fact, every year, once a year, I think it's on March the 31st.
41:20 They have a dinosaur.
41:24 What's it called like a big like a big a big festival about dinosaurs
41:29 because they look like a Brontosaurus.
41:31 So thanks for the question.
41:33 John, do you have some more some more open ended questions?
41:37 So, yeah, I got I got some random questions here.
41:40 Let's see which one.
41:42 Here's one I was going to ask last time.
41:44 So have you ever had any like major either health scares
41:48 or like you got really sick in a foreign country and any experiences
41:52 with like the foreign health care system that were crazy?
41:56 Or is it better? Is it worse?
41:57 I was curious about that.
41:58 If if anyone wants to look at me or weigh me or anything,
42:03 you would think, fuck, that man's going to be sick.
42:06 But I don't know what it is, John.
42:08 I genuinely 100 percent.
42:10 I've lived away from home for 15 years and I've been to the hospital
42:14 once when I cracked me me elbow.
42:17 I don't really get sick, but I do know someone who.
42:21 One of his testicles started inflating and.
42:26 It was it was it was an abnormal size when he showed me,
42:31 he's like, what do we do?
42:33 I was like, well, obviously you go to the hospital.
42:35 And he's like, well, fuck, it's a Chinese hospital.
42:38 And he's like, oh, no, I can't.
42:41 And he waited and waited.
42:42 So it went from from that size to.
42:45 I had the same thing happen to me.
42:49 I did exercise.
42:51 I said to him, like, look, you have to go.
42:54 And the Chinese hospital system is.
42:57 Probably a lot like the American system, because back home we have
43:01 we have the NHS, but I know you guys have to pay for every.
43:05 Oh, you've got insurance, but not many people have got insurance here.
43:08 And this guy's one testicle
43:11 was dropping down his thigh.
43:14 And it was real.
43:15 And he just didn't know what to do.
43:17 And he had to go and get stuff trained. And.
43:20 And yet it wasn't a good time for him.
43:24 They had to put a catheter up and they had to cut his testicle.
43:28 And I'm sure back home it would have been dealt with a lot easier.
43:32 But I mean, I had I had a bump on my elbow once and they were like,
43:36 oh, you got to have an operation.
43:37 I'm like, no, I know it's just a bit of fluid on my elbow.
43:39 Drain it. And I'm like, no, you're going to have to come back.
43:42 You have to be in for six weeks.
43:44 It's going to have to be an operation.
43:46 It's going to cost you this much money.
43:48 I just I just fucking had a few vodkas.
43:50 I'd stab my elbow with a with a knife that I've got
43:53 and all the fluid drained and then my elbow was sound,
43:56 which sound means.
44:00 And so I didn't need the hospital, I just needed my own knife
44:03 that I've got to buy a knife that I bought back from Thailand once
44:07 and that done the job instead of a Chinese hospital.
44:10 Don't go to a Chinese hospital.
44:13 Don't do it.
44:14 So I would not compare the Chinese system to the US system.
44:17 And one of the pros is that you've got to pay for it.
44:21 But in China, it's actually dirt cheap.
44:23 That's like the one positive.
44:25 You're not going to get great care.
44:26 But my friend broke his arm in China, just showed up at the hospital
44:30 zero insurance.
44:31 They took the x-rays and put a cast on for maybe 200 US dollars,
44:36 where if you did that in the US about insurance,
44:39 that could be like 10,000 US dollars.
44:41 So it is cheap, but.
44:44 I'm going to I'm going to I'm actually going to.
44:48 Well, I mean, I don't know where he went to some shitty clinic, but
44:51 I got experience of me.
44:54 My wife's father wasn't well and he was in ICU
44:58 and it was 10,000 RMB a day for ICU, which is a thousand pounds,
45:02 which is like at the time was about fifteen hundred dollars
45:05 every day for ICU for nine months.
45:10 So it's not it's it's not cheap
45:14 unless you go on to a to a to a back end place.
45:17 This was fifteen hundred dollars a day for nine months, which
45:20 long story, but that was like three years ago.
45:24 Still paying that off, still paying that off now.
45:28 So you must get some some practitioners that are like, oh, I'll do this for this.
45:33 But some of the hospitals aren't cheap and some some Chinese people go into
45:37 like like like Americans, some Chinese people go into death
45:41 for the rest of their lives for some of the most basic medical care.
45:45 And some of the doctors here.
45:48 Well, as I say, I solved the problem with a knife.
45:52 Yeah. So the only time I
45:55 called the Chinese version of 911, I don't know what it is,
45:58 but I got food poisoning and I couldn't stop puking
46:02 to the point where like I couldn't even catch my breath.
46:05 And I had nothing left in my stomach, but it was just bile.
46:09 And I just kept on puking.
46:10 So I called an ambulance and it took the ambulance
46:14 maybe maybe over an hour to come.
46:17 And when they finally arrived, I stopped puking.
46:21 So but then they're like, hey, we're outside.
46:23 Like, what's up?
46:24 So I had to walk out and I was like, I'm not puking anymore.
46:27 But do you guys just like have any water?
46:30 And they were like, oh, no, we don't have any water.
46:34 So then just like the ambulance driver just walked me to a store
46:38 and I bought a Gatorade with my own money.
46:41 And then I was like, all right. Yeah.
46:43 Well, I guess you guys can go.
46:45 And he was like, OK, and just left.
46:47 But I wasn't charged.
46:49 I feel like in the US, if you called an ambulance and even if you didn't use it,
46:52 you would still have to pay for the ambulance, which is insane.
46:55 I worked in a school, John, and every school has like a nurse.
47:00 And I remember a girl who was in my class.
47:03 She snapped a finger playing basketball.
47:06 Like her finger was literally like the other way.
47:09 And I ran up to the nurse and the nurse was like, oh,
47:14 Stephen, do you mind going to the shop
47:17 like outside campus and buying two, two ice creams, two lolly ices?
47:22 I'm like, why? She's like, because we get rid of the lolly ices
47:25 and I can use them to them two pieces of wood as a splint.
47:29 You haven't got a fucking splint for this girl who snapped a finger.
47:37 And yet the school pays for this nurse.
47:40 And she's like, oh, quick, go get some ice cream.
47:42 Like the place to the place.
47:44 MacGyver over here.
47:47 Yeah, the place is a while.
47:49 She's a modern day MacGyver.
47:51 Just places.
47:53 And then were you the one
47:54 were you the one who had to eat the ice cream and then just hand over the sticks?
47:58 I must admit, I quickly and forcibly ate the two ice creams.
48:04 Yeah. The second one, I had a bit of brain freeze.
48:07 So I think I had to wait for a while.
48:09 Hang on.
48:10 Yeah, I think the only other medical crisis I had was
48:16 food poisoning again, but this time in the Philippines
48:19 and had to go to this health clinic that was just a shack.
48:23 And they said, we need a stool sample so we can see what's wrong.
48:26 Sent me into the bathroom.
48:27 I pissed out my ass into a cup and there was no toilet paper.
48:32 So then had to just like walk around the clinic being like, all right,
48:35 here's my fucking stool sample.
48:36 Now find me toilet paper.
48:38 And I did. I had E. coli, which is super serious.
48:42 So I'm glad I went.
48:43 But they hooked me up to an IV and the same case with the ambulance.
48:48 I asked for water. They didn't have water.
48:51 So I had to I had to get out my wallet and then just like find cash to give them.
48:56 And they went to a store to get water.
48:57 I feel like that's the I feel like clean water is the one thing a hospital needs.
49:01 Yeah, I wouldn't I wouldn't trust this health care.
49:03 John, if you ever got sick, don't you?
49:05 China, if you want to, if you ever want to party, come see me.
49:08 If you ever get sick, stay away.
49:10 Yeah, my my friend broke his collarbone in China
49:13 and went to a Chinese hospital.
49:15 They had to do surgery on it when he got back to the US.
49:18 It was still hurting.
49:19 So he went in and they're like, they did the surgery all wrong.
49:22 We're going to have to redo it.
49:23 Oh, so he had to get another surgery.
49:26 And then the running back on the football team I played for,
49:29 he broke his ankle in a few places in the championship game,
49:32 had to take like an hour taxi to this hospital.
49:36 And he shows up and they're like, oh, we don't know how to fix ankle bones here.
49:41 You got to go to a different hospital.
49:43 Across the city.
49:45 I don't we might have time for one more short one, or I don't know if it's.
49:48 I got a short one.
49:49 OK, a short one. We will end on that.
49:51 Steve, what what languages do you speak?
49:54 Oh, my easy question.
49:56 English. I got to follow.
49:57 Scouts, French and Chinese.
50:00 So Chinese. So you do not speak French.
50:03 Je parle français un peu.
50:07 I sounded French.
50:08 I've never heard you say a word of French.
50:11 No, I used to speak.
50:12 I used to speak French when I was 16.
50:14 I was quite fluent.
50:16 But then obviously, if you don't go to France much, yeah, then
50:19 who the fuck speaks French besides French people?
50:23 So I used to I used to I used to be fluent in French.
50:26 I'm quite good at Chinese.
50:28 Like my wife's family.
50:29 I've actually got at the moment is one I've got the mom,
50:34 two aunties, two cousins, a sister
50:39 and a niece staying with me for the last four days.
50:42 So my Cantonese isn't the best at all.
50:46 I only know the swear words, but I can talk to them in Mandarin
50:49 and they answer me in Cantonese.
50:50 So my Mandarin is OK. It's not fluent.
50:53 It's probably a little bit better than Donny's, but a lot better than mine.
50:57 You kidding me?
50:59 It's OK. It's OK.
51:01 Well, I can get by in France.
51:04 I speak Chinese.
51:06 I speak English and I speak Scouse, which is like Liverpool language.
51:11 So like so my follow up question was about Chinese language.
51:17 They have as well like 50000 characters.
51:20 My so I think I think they've said there's a rule.
51:24 Yeah, they might have something like that.
51:26 But if you know 10000, you can be pretty much fluent.
51:30 I was just curious if like people who grow up in China, like do they all
51:35 for the most part know all of those characters or is that like a
51:38 I mean, they start learning the characters when they're like two years old in school.
51:44 Yeah, but most of them can't pick up a pencil till they're about four.
51:47 So it's difficult.
51:48 So like, for example, where I am in Guangdong, they speak Cantonese.
51:53 But every town in in Guangdong
51:58 has their own sort of Cantonese.
52:00 So my wife's hometown is a little place called Dacheng.
52:03 There's only a million people in it.
52:05 So they speak the Chinghua, which is
52:08 something similar to to Cantonese.
52:13 But then if you go to Shanghai, they speak Shang, Shang, Shang,
52:17 Shanghainese, which is nothing like Cantonese, which is also nothing like Mandarin.
52:22 So every hometown's got their own language
52:25 as well as they speak the all speak put on fire, which is Mandarin.
52:29 But as for the characters, I mean, some kids pick it up earlier than others.
52:34 And I think I don't think it's 10,000.
52:37 I mean, if it's 1000 characters, you can get you can kind of get through life
52:43 with with with no one 1000.
52:46 I know about 10, 15.
52:49 My cousin, my cousin, he's on his HSK five.
52:53 He's basically fluent.
52:55 He knows, you know, like two or three thousand.
52:58 Yeah. Chinese, the language, actually, it's not super hard
53:02 to learn how to speak very basic Chinese.
53:05 It's the learning how to write and read. Yeah.
53:08 It is. Well, I mean, there's no there's no there's no tense is really,
53:13 you know, it's not like tomorrow I will go to the park.
53:16 It's all you do is just add the word law after a verb and it becomes a past tense.
53:22 So, yeah, it's easy.
53:24 Like tomorrow I go park.
53:26 Yesterday I go park law, which means like so it's not.
53:31 Yeah, it's it's sad.
53:34 You know, you watch a movie, you watch Big Trouble in Little China.
53:37 You think you're in trouble, but you're here and you spend a bit of time here.
53:40 It's not that difficult. So.
53:42 Well, Steve, thanks for coming on.
53:48 I'm trying to get four of the episodes done and then I'll start dropping them
53:53 online, we'll judge the reception and we'll definitely
53:58 we'll definitely keep on doing it.
54:00 I'm just trying to figure out if this could be this was this was the
54:03 this was the fourth, but I did for this one.
54:07 So this is now the third. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
54:09 But we are going to try to combine the first two where I'll be like
54:14 splicing in moments of you being blackout drunk.
54:17 It'll be good.
54:19 Do you know what I like about you?
54:23 Vocal.
54:24 Vocal.
54:25 Vocal.
54:26 Vocal.
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