El Presidente | Stool Scenes
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00:00Oh!
00:02Ate that!
00:04Oh!
00:06Oh!
00:08Oh!
00:10Oh!
00:12Oh!
00:14Oh!
00:16Oh!
00:18Oh!
00:20Oh!
00:22Oh!
00:24Oh!
00:26Oh!
00:28Oh!
00:30Oh!
00:32Oh!
00:34Oh!
00:36Oh!
00:38Oh!
00:40Oh!
00:42Oh!
00:44Oh!
00:46Oh!
00:48Oh!
00:50Oh!
00:52Oh!
00:54Oh!
00:56The second foul is free throws for a half a point.
00:58A half a point.
00:59So you can't win on the first free throw.
01:01But just try not to foul.
01:02And you can call your own fouls.
01:04We've lost Frank the Tank and Jet Ski
01:08from our original bracket.
01:09But they're gonna be replaced by Ian at the 16th seed
01:12who will be playing back in the first round.
01:14And Cody at the 2 seed who will be playing against me.
01:19For every game, we are gonna be doing
01:21the lower seed gets the ball first
01:25unless you guys figure out something on your own
01:28to determine who has the ball first.
01:30I got fucked.
01:31I went from Frank the Tank to fucking Ian.
01:34As they say, age before beauty, my friend.
01:36Age before beauty.
01:42You wanna do a tip?
01:44He wants to do a tip.
01:45Done.
01:47Please.
01:48So like touch tips?
01:48Or just a tip walk?
01:51Oh man.
01:52Probably CYO hoops like sixth grade,
01:56seventh grade, something like that.
01:57Right here, I sit in the corner.
01:59I was the fucking, I just catch it.
02:03I also was a flipper.
02:05I do these things.
02:07So I don't know if the game's improved much since then.
02:10I mean, I'm probably not gonna win this.
02:12This isn't really my game.
02:13But at the same time, you can never discount
02:17Smoke's Magic and Smoke's Aura.
02:20Look at this Adam Sandler looking ass.
02:24He's got gym shorts from like 1997.
02:27So we lost Frank the Tank, our 16 seed.
02:31And we don't have Jesse here.
02:33Or Jesse's not gonna be here as well.
02:35But other than that,
02:36I think everybody is scheduled to be here.
02:38And we got some replacements popping in.
02:41It should be fun.
02:42We have some, you know, rivalries.
02:43We're gonna see if Clemmer's bailing on us.
02:45Hey, Roan wants to know where you are.
02:47You're late for his tournament.
02:50He's walking in right now.
02:52Amazing.
02:53Amazing.
02:55This is about the extent of my defense.
02:56Like, that's it.
02:59I'm not, I'm not rolling an ankle.
03:01I'm not twisting.
03:02I'm not pulling.
03:04Even if Jackie wins, she wins.
03:09See, he doesn't want to hit all the heads.
03:11You see?
03:17You see that?
03:18That's what you gotta let him think.
03:19Handbag him a little bit.
03:20Then he plays off you.
03:21And then you bury it.
03:22Next time.
03:23Also, see what he doesn't know is,
03:26I bumped 1,900 Rugrat all the way here.
03:29It was over before it even started.
03:30It's already over.
03:32You think I'm gonna listen to a one-take freestyle
03:34and lose?
03:34No.
03:35No.
03:40Oh, I've been warming up.
03:43If you think I won't take a charge in 1v1,
03:45you don't know white kids from Indiana.
03:48Awful.
03:50No, it's fun.
03:50I mean, we get to play basketball for our job,
03:52so it's like, but like,
03:54it's just like,
03:55me and Kelly have to play each other in the first round.
03:57Like, I don't want to fucking play Kelly.
03:58Like, it's just awkward.
04:00I mean, look at Travi.
04:01Go get a shot of Travi.
04:02Yeah, I saw him.
04:046'5", and he's just shooting.
04:06So I assume he's just gonna go right next to the rim.
04:09Is that who you're playing?
04:10Yeah.
04:11I think what I'm gonna do is,
04:12I'm either gonna try to convince him to let me win.
04:15Like, come on, it'd be funny for TikTok.
04:17Or I'm just gonna play off of him,
04:19and I'm gonna get in his head and dare him to shoot.
04:21I'm gonna be like, hey, big man,
04:23I know you can post me down.
04:24Why don't you take a fucking shot, bitch?
04:26Why don't you take a long shot, bitch?
04:29What up?
04:30How was the game?
04:31I hadn't played, like, in two years,
04:33so we're completely cold turkey in this.
04:36People are calling me a dark horse,
04:37but I mean, this hasn't been consistent,
04:40hoping, in like four years.
04:42So we just hope the fundamentals are still there
04:44and take us the rest of the way.
04:46He's taken 400 shots since he's been here.
04:48He thinks this is a real game.
04:50Nobody has tried.
04:51Nobody's trying hard.
04:51No, yeah, yeah.
04:52He hasn't said hi to anybody.
04:54He's just, lay up, one foot shot,
04:56one foot shot, over this.
04:58Now, this guy, absolutely no aura.
05:01You could set up camp in that guy's head.
05:04I don't know about Travis,
05:05but for me, this is gonna be mainly mine.
05:09Oh, that's good.
05:10I actually have a short spice instead of it, I think.
05:14His head probably is too weird to get in.
05:18What?
05:19Is anyone in your head?
05:20Tommy won't stop saying, I have zero aura,
05:21and it's really, it's eating at me.
05:24I wish I had Vulcanic or something, honestly.
05:27I wish I could trade opponents.
05:29It's been a long time since I've shot a basketball.
05:31I shot a few today that were such horrendous,
05:34egregious air balls, midair.
05:36I walked away and judged them like it wasn't my shot.
05:40Fuck, someone almost took a window out over there, midair.
05:44Me versus Tommy.
05:45Tommy, what are you gonna do to me?
05:46Tommy?
05:47What the fuck?
05:48He doesn't even know my name.
05:48You know what?
05:49No, you gotta say, conditioning's an issue.
05:52I just took five jump shots.
05:53You can see my fucking pulse right here.
05:55Robbie Fox, what are you about to do to me out there?
05:57I'm about to back him down 17 times in the paint
06:00and shoot four jumpers in his face.
06:02It's a tough day to have a couple of kids
06:03because he's gonna embarrass me in front of him.
06:05I don't fucking like it.
06:06Somebody here is going home
06:09with a torn ligament and a broken bone.
06:12You got me as a 16 seed.
06:1416?
06:1516.
06:17This guy to be bad.
06:19Confidence is low because he's a live 12 seed.
06:22I don't know, he's the only one in shape in here.
06:25I don't know how to play this.
06:27What are we playing for?
06:30What are we playing for?
06:32Cash.
06:34At least a band, but I'm trying to get
06:37more money behind this.
06:38At least a band.
06:39Does the winner go to Chicago?
06:43Winner goes to Chicago.
06:46Ate that.
07:09Oh!
07:30From way downtown!
07:36Yeah, I knew you were gonna be an asshole.
07:38I knew it.
07:39He's locked down deep.
07:40Oh, come on, Ev.
07:41Come on, Ev.
07:46Steve is no prism.
07:48He's like, this is easy.
07:49I am not fucking around.
07:50Yeah, come on, Steve.
07:54I'm kind of afraid for the love of God.
07:56For Christ's sake.
07:58It's all over.
08:00All right, and there it is.
08:03Good job.
08:04Good job.
08:08Oh!
08:16How do you feel?
08:17You know what?
08:18Good matchup, but I felt like I should have won that.
08:21So, just moving on.
08:23On rails.
08:24Why, because you're a professional athlete?
08:26Yeah.
08:26No, I'm bigger, stronger, and faster than him,
08:29so I score a point quicker than him.
08:31Everybody look at me.
08:33Let me shoot one free gun.
08:34I want, let me shoot one free top of the head.
08:37Like he comes on me, I'm like,
08:38I was going to shoot one free.
08:39I wasn't going to let two upsets happen in a row.
08:42Come on.
08:43Let me take a fair shot.
08:44You could've drove.
08:47Oh!
08:50Oh, boy.
08:55I hate to see that.
08:57I don't like tough shots.
08:58Chin fucking up.
09:00Chin up.
09:01Chin up.
09:02One day.
09:03One day.
09:06Fuck, man.
09:10Woo!
09:15Ready to do that lesson.
09:17Tommy, what do you think?
09:19Ready to bet?
09:19I mean, I don't want, I mean,
09:22it doesn't, it wasn't a show of skill in any way.
09:24This was not a show of skill.
09:26I want to say, losing the first round,
09:28like, yeah, Traffy's taller.
09:29Doesn't mean he's better than me.
09:31Let me tell you right now,
09:31I played with Traffy 10 times.
09:33I win nine out of 10.
09:33He won this one.
09:34All right.
09:36It just happens, it just happens.
09:37You know, he got like,
09:38that choking is kind of the story, as per usual.
09:41Pass.
09:43He don't know.
09:44He don't know.
09:45He don't know.
09:46How are you?
09:46What's up, Pat?
09:47What's up, brother?
09:48How are you?
09:49Good.
09:50You guys should review the film.
09:51He said, we're gonna do, or hopefully,
09:53we're gonna do 10 worst moments,
09:55have him break it down.
09:57Yeah, if Meek Phil hit a shot in your eye,
09:59you might have to end everything.
10:00He threw some bullshit.
10:01You might have to quit playing basketball forever.
10:03It's tournament time,
10:04and the clear cut number one seed
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10:51Go.
10:52Bracket Busters 2025.
10:53This has gotta be like, I don't know what,
10:54the 10th year we're doing this?
10:56The winning team gets $40,000,
10:57so everybody remote, everybody gonna draft,
11:00and there will be one person who forgets,
11:03who fucks it up, who does not know the field,
11:05who every year there's somebody
11:07who gets in trouble with data.
11:08See who it is.
11:09Pile of Earth just took a picture of our list.
11:12It doesn't matter.
11:13None of us know what we're talking about.
11:14You can say you know what you're talking about,
11:16but none of us.
11:16Get the fuck out of here.
11:17Get out.
11:18Get out.
11:19Get out.
11:20Get out.
11:21Somebody takes high footage, we're committing murder?
11:23Yeah, in the first drink.
11:25So?
11:26Yeah, we'll be murdered.
11:27Here's nothing.
11:27Here's nothing.
11:28Here's nothing.
11:30That's my alma mater, okay?
11:31That's my people.
11:32That's my shit.
11:33We've been really close every year
11:35for as long as I can remember,
11:36since I went there, whatever.
11:37I've been really excited.
11:38I would like to have something to root for Dudley.
11:40I'm gonna root for them regardless.
11:41But if somebody picks them,
11:43I know that they're needling me,
11:44and it's just me.
11:45You know what I mean?
11:46There's just no need for me.
11:47No need for me.
11:48So I hope we get it.
11:49But if we don't, death to them, you know?
11:51Yeah, I might take high point
11:52and just set off a firestorm.
11:56We got a list here.
11:57I don't wanna give any spoilers.
11:58My one concern is Hubs wants to take UC San Diego,
12:01but they're playing Big Blue,
12:02Bossman's Michigan.
12:04I don't know if I wanna go against them.
12:06We can't be having that as a factor
12:08when the school's paying a lot.
12:10If we end up taking them,
12:11it wasn't my decision.
12:12A little pricey or what?
12:13A little pricey?
12:14Fair.
12:14Oh, not.
12:15Tommy, is the rumor true that you bet
12:16against Michigan over the weekend?
12:18We've been talking to AI all morning,
12:20and it says that like a 10 or an 11
12:21has a 30% or high,
12:23a 30 to 35% chance of making a 2-6 team.
12:25So if we get an early pick,
12:26we're obviously going with a 10 or 11.
12:27If not, beef has some hidden gems for me
12:30in the technical food.
12:31The mind games have already started.
12:32Last year, I was on a team with Large and Spider.
12:35This year, I'm on a team with Clemmer.
12:38Sent a fake text to Spider.
12:42Teams that I'm planning on,
12:43they're all 16 seeds.
12:46He'll fall for it.
12:48Assassin Francis.
12:51You gotta give him a four with that?
12:53Nah.
12:54I haven't really seen Assassin in a while,
12:56and Francis is, you know, here and there.
12:59Who do you think is a better comedian,
13:01Francis or Sass?
13:04That's a tough one.
13:07That's a tough one.
13:08I think Sass is more,
13:12Francis is more of a stand-up comedian,
13:13and I think Sass is more of a skit guy.
13:18You got this figured out?
13:19I got a couple of teams I like.
13:22All right.
13:23Following your lead here.
13:25Not gonna question.
13:27Depends when we get picked.
13:28I've always get picked like one last team,
13:30so that's a scratch.
13:31You got a good feeling.
13:33You're Irish, right?
13:34Yep.
13:35I'm not, but people think I am,
13:37so I'm just gonna go with that.
13:39I'm English.
13:39We actually, historically,
13:41don't have a very good relationship with the Irish,
13:43but you know what?
13:45Close enough.
13:47Let's do it.
13:49I'm asking ChatGPT who should win,
13:53because Joey and I won last year.
13:55How was your strategy last year?
13:59Asked a friend, and he said pick NC State,
14:01and we did, and we won.
14:02So who's ChatGPT saying?
14:05Well, ChatGPT has taught me to pick Baylor,
14:07but if Baylor wins, and they've been on a run lately,
14:10they're gonna have to play Duke in the second round,
14:11and they're gonna have to fucking run over
14:13by Duke in the second round.
14:15If you have the option,
14:16you're probably gonna pick Oklahoma, right?
14:19Oklahoma?
14:21Oklahoma?
14:24Or were you guys thinking,
14:27Lipscomb?
14:28That's gotta be you, right?
14:29Lipscomb?
14:33Or the one Ivy League representative, Gale?
14:38Ah.
14:42This is what you're using my sheet for?
14:44I need to study.
14:45Colo State, is that Colon State?
14:46It's Colon State, yes.
14:49What about, do you have anything for Walford,
14:52or Tennessee?
14:53Buddy, I could go all day.
14:54Give me that, give me that.
14:55Six, five, four, three.
15:02Oh, it's on me?
15:03Yep.
15:04Oh, all right, all right.
15:05We're here for the Bracket Busters 2025.
15:07I'm always teamed up with Big Ant and Jack Mack,
15:09so I let them do the numbers crunch,
15:11and I'm just here for fun.
15:14I like making these.
15:17Everyone has a list of it.
15:20We got weddings to pay for.
15:21We need this fucking money.
15:22Everyone took a picture of it.
15:25Who is your pick who will be in trouble
15:27with Dave this year?
15:28I don't know who's gonna be in trouble,
15:30but I actually said there's like a 50-50 chance
15:33Will Compton shows up to this,
15:35just because he has PTSD.
15:38Team nine.
15:40Oh, what?
15:41Oh, yeah.
15:42Woo!
15:44Let's go.
15:46You fucking assholes.
15:47Nobody is happy about this.
15:49Tommy and Hubs, number one overall pick.
15:52Who are you guys?
15:53Colorado State.
15:54We're gonna pick Colorado State.
15:55Colorado State off the board.
15:58We're so fucked.
16:01No, not Georgia.
16:02Georgia has no chance.
16:04We have to take a nine.
16:05They got no chance.
16:06We have to take a nine.
16:06They got no chance.
16:07What's the name of Troy?
16:08Troy.
16:09We have to take a nine.
16:10Why is no one else thinking about it?
16:12Because, I'm telling you,
16:13think of Kentucky and whatever year it was,
16:15they went all the way to the fucking final four.
16:18Then these ones are so good.
16:19Trust me, all you have to do is beat the one
16:20and you're good.
16:21Yes!
16:2321.
16:26Oh my God!
16:28Yay!
16:32We were all telling her we were gonna take it this morning.
16:34She was not happy.
16:35She's gonna cry.
16:39We are picking High Point University.
16:41High Point University.
16:42Woo!
16:43Is there any reason for that?
16:44Because I went there.
16:45Uh-huh.
16:46There you go.
16:47And I forced them all to do it,
16:48and I'm so grateful to the team
16:49for allowing us to pick High Point.
16:49All right, High Point is off the board for the girls.
16:52I know my shit, man.
16:54The nines are just better teams.
16:56We're going Georgia.
16:57Georgia.
16:58All right, see?
16:59She's smart.
17:01Now we have Oklahoma and Baylor.
17:02We have to take Baylor.
17:04We have to take Baylor.
17:05I'm not taking them.
17:07We have to.
17:07We're taking Grand Canyon.
17:10What if they're all gone?
17:13Sass, I'm assuming you're the brainchild.
17:15You're, you know, the brainchild.
17:16I just stayed up late trying to figure out our pick, so.
17:19Frank, Frank, give me the money, dear.
17:20Do you guys have?
17:21No, no, no.
17:22All right, do it.
17:23You know, I think it was Patrick Henry that said,
17:27give me liberty or give me death.
17:29Give me liberty.
17:30It is.
17:31Liberty is the best.
17:32Liberty.
17:32Good pick, Frank.
17:34Ev just told me if we get to a point
17:36we may have to pick Oklahoma.
17:38They're playing UConn up, but I can't promote Oklahoma.
17:41Oh, you got team dissension here with Marty and Dana.
17:43I mean, if Marty had a knife for content,
17:45he would take Baylor,
17:46and then it would be Duke versus Baylor in the second round.
17:49Oh, he doesn't want that, though.
17:50That's a big conflict of interest.
17:52Oklahoma.
17:55Oklahoma.
17:56Oh!
17:57Going against Marty's wishes.
17:59It should be Baylor, though.
18:00It should be Baylor.
18:01It should be Baylor.
18:02Marty wanted Oklahoma.
18:03They went with Grand Canyon.
18:04It's a bad pick.
18:05It's a horrible pick.
18:06It's a bad pick.
18:07Grand Canyon's good.
18:10Oklahoma.
18:12When the whole office is here, you get to mix it up.
18:15Mixing it up?
18:16Just like the Golden Age.
18:17This is like the Golden Age.
18:18Where's Kouravis?
18:21If Kouravis could see us now.
18:22It's tough.
18:23I feel like everyone should just shut the fuck up.
18:25Like, we're trying to listen, and people are talking.
18:27It's like, oh.
18:29It's like, oh, our team got picked,
18:31so we can just talk now.
18:34Rico, do you have any guys left?
18:36Yeah, I do.
18:37You've got a full sweatsuit from Omaha.
18:38We're gonna go against St. John's.
18:40We're taking Omaha.
18:42Why wouldn't you take Robert Morris?
18:44No, we're not doing that.
18:45We're not doing that.
18:46We're not doing that.
18:47Okay, Omaha.
18:48You're gonna pick Omaha.
18:48Pick Kirk.
18:50Great pick, Rico.
18:54I'm gonna be dead last.
18:55It's between Large and I.
18:57We just got DI'd.
18:59Wallow and Gilly got it before us.
19:01The gay guys.
19:02Gay guys.
19:03Gilly got it before us.
19:04Now it's just like, straight white males.
19:07Oh, we're last.
19:08Yeah, you're dead last.
19:10You know who else was dead last?
19:12Tom Brady.
19:13Ever heard of him?
19:14Seven rangs.
19:15Six rounds, technically.
19:17Dead last, Mr. Irrelevance.
19:20Brock Purdy.
19:20Brock Purdy.
19:21I've heard of him.
19:22Your team, Frank.
19:23I like Liberty.
19:24I like Liberty a lot.
19:26I think, you know,
19:29Oregon's always a soft team in the tournament.
19:32I think Oregon's always one of those teams
19:35that goes to tournament,
19:36and every year when they get to the tournament,
19:38they go down.
19:39And Liberty's got a lot of three-point shooters.
19:43And, you know, those are the guys that,
19:47if they have their shot going that night,
19:50they can go on the run.
19:51This team can be sweet 16.