• 2 days ago
Veep Season 5 Episode 10 Inauguration

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TV
Transcript
00:00Will the President be making a statement about the House vote?
00:19No, the President will not be making a statement at this time.
00:22While she was disappointed in the result, she was thrilled to watch democracy in action.
00:27I mean, the chances of this happening in Russia?
00:30Michael, if Tom James wins against Senator Montez in the Senate and becomes President, will President Meyer consider...
00:36Okay, let me cut you off right there.
00:38Selina Meyer is not interested in becoming Vice President again.
00:42That job is in her rear view mirror.
00:44I stake my reputation on this. Selina Meyer will never be Vice President ever, ever again.
00:51So Tom, let's be real. You're going to be an accidental President.
00:56Pot kettle.
00:58I'm here to offer my help in making this transition of power as smooth as possible by joining your administration.
01:12Well, strangely enough, I was thinking along the same lines.
01:15Okay, fantastic. I'll tell you what I want. I want Secretary of State.
01:20Because I think that's the least you can do.
01:22I was thinking Vice President.
01:25That's literally the least you can do. And I really want Secretary of State.
01:31Vice President.
01:32Come on. Secretary of State.
01:34Vice President Meyer's got a nice familiar ring to it.
01:38No, it doesn't.
01:39Vice President, take it or leave it.
01:41I wouldn't be your Veep if there were a grassy knoll full of Jodie Foster fans in the front row at your inauguration.
01:51I'd have to leave it.
01:52General George Washington could climb out of his grave right now.
01:57And I would rather eat out his zombified wooden asshole twice a day than be his Vice fucking fucking anything.
02:06Okay, let's put a pin in the VP for now.
02:11Seriously?
02:12Morning, ma'am.
02:13Morning, ma'am.
02:14Will somebody wake up Mike?
02:15Or not. What's the difference?
02:16Ma'am, last night I ran a flash poll on presidential scholars.
02:21They have rated you the 43rd most effective president ever.
02:25Out of how many?
02:2644. You were right ahead of James Buchanan, who many feel caused a civil war.
02:31Kent, can you give a girl some warning next time before you jam it in the back door?
02:35Data gives no warning, ma'am.
02:37Any chance Marjorie and Catherine want to get married?
02:40There you go. First White House lesbian wedding. I don't get your nasty books.
02:43I can't take that much acoustic guitar.
02:47What we have to do is we have to make Tibet happen.
02:52That's what's going to be my legacy.
02:54Selina Meyer, the woman who freed Tibet.
02:56Ma'am, we've been in radio silence with the Chinese for the last two weeks.
03:00Well then, why don't we send warships out into the South China Sea?
03:05Sea.
03:06I want my Nobel Peace Prize.
03:12Legacy!
03:14Legacy meeting adjourned.
03:17God, my phone is blowing up with these TV offers.
03:21I think I might need an agent, you know, someone who can take the Dan Egan brand to the next level.
03:25Too bad Goebbels killed himself.
03:27The only president to pee sitting down since FDR.
03:31Is that going to be my legacy then? Is it?
03:34Well, I pee sitting down sometimes if it's going to be a long...
03:37Okay, we've got to make Tibet happen.
03:39Go through the guitaries, okay?
03:41I bet there are a dozen of them right now at the Georgetown Four Seasons.
03:44Right.
03:45Good old Lamborghini dealership, you know, wherever they have prostitutes.
03:48These guys can help you.
03:53I'm finished with your brag wall, all the photos of you with the Washington elite.
03:57Are there any pictures where the president isn't yelling at me?
03:59As far as I can tell, no such picture exists in the known universe.
04:03Oh, also, we've got to get some eye candy in here, you know?
04:06Hire some hot interns.
04:08Oh, Uncle Jeff sent a bunch of resumes from New Hampshire.
04:11One of them was a phone number on a bar napkin.
04:13No, New Hampshire's just a fancy word for it's cold outside, so I can't shave my pubes.
04:17Oh, I'm writing that down.
04:18Focus on the warm weather states, okay?
04:20Congressman, I have a feeling you're going to do some really great things.
04:24I'm getting kind of hungry. Do you think you can find a lobbyist to take me out to a lunch short notice?
04:27Mm-hmm.
04:28Try for Big Pharma. I hear they do the pom.
04:31Madam President, uh, I'm afraid to say that the Chinese are rather nervous about moving forward with Tibet now that you're out of power.
04:40I am not out of power. And, uh, at all.
04:44This has not, in fact, been formally announced yet, but I will be continuing on.
04:51Oh.
04:52As, um, as vice president.
05:01Tom James offered it yesterday.
05:03It's really more of a co-president position. Wouldn't you agree with that, Ben?
05:07Sure.
05:08And between you and me, um, Tom James could be healthier, I have to say.
05:13Oh?
05:14Yeah. He's a bit of a, you know...
05:17Well, I suspect this will be of great interest to the Chinese.
05:20Great. Thank you very much.
05:22All right.
05:23Thank you. Oh, right, no touching the ladies.
05:25Oh, no, no. It's fine.
05:26Okay.
05:27It's private. Just don't let the lunatics back home, no.
05:31All right, come on. Ben, let's go.
05:33Yes, ma'am.
05:34This is gonna suck.
05:36Hang on, I need to make a stop.
05:39Madam President.
05:40Is the vice president in?
05:41No, he's at the Senate for the vote.
05:42Uh-huh.
05:43Well?
05:59Okay, I can do this.
06:03Selina Meyer.
06:04Tom.
06:05Delight.
06:06Um, I've got good news.
06:09I have decided to...
06:10No, don't tell me.
06:12You have decided to throw away every last shred of dignity you have
06:17and accept my offer of the vice presidency.
06:20I... I guess so. Yeah.
06:23I'm delighted to hear it.
06:27And I don't want you to worry.
06:28You are not just gonna be any vice president.
06:33You are gonna be a partner
06:35in a very important part of my administration.
06:39You're a motherfucker.
06:40No, I'm serious. I'm serious.
06:42You're gonna be...
06:43You know, you're gonna be part of the team.
06:45You're gonna be at every meeting.
06:46Okay.
06:47It's like a shitty Groundhog Day.
06:49Your country thanks you.
06:52Congressman Ryan's office.
06:54Congressman Ryan's office.
06:55Hello.
06:56Morning, sir.
06:57Morning.
06:58Morning, sir.
06:59Congressman Ryan's office.
07:00Richard, who are these dudes?
07:01Oh, these are the new interns.
07:03What?
07:04That's Colt. He's from UVA. He played lacrosse.
07:06Richard, I told you to get hot interns.
07:09Sir, by any objective standards,
07:10Colt, Brady, and Mason are unequivocally hot,
07:12not not.
07:13Hot interns means gross.
07:15How the fuck do you not know that?
07:17Excuse me, sir.
07:18I made you a latte.
07:24Oh, my God, this coffee is exceptional.
07:26Thanks.
07:29Can we please keep him?
07:30Yeah, absolutely.
07:31Hey, Colt, welcome to Team Ryan.
07:33I want you guys to get used to two things.
07:35Killing it daily on the hill
07:37and nights rated PG-14.
07:39Baller.
07:40Baller.
07:41Baller.
07:42Baller.
07:44All right.
07:45We are moments away from the Senate vote
07:46for Vice President between Senator Tom James
07:49and Senator Laura Montez.
07:50And, of course, with the presidency vacant,
07:53the winner of this vote will assume the presidency.
07:56Well, President Liu, I'm very glad
07:59that we've come to an agreement,
08:01and I'm exceptionally glad
08:03that we're gonna have another four years
08:05of working together.
08:06President Liu is particularly happy
08:09to work alongside Senator James.
08:12He hears he's quite the statesman.
08:15Statesman-ish.
08:17Um, which is a joke, of course.
08:19What?
08:20We've gotta go see what's going on in the Senate right away.
08:23Okay.
08:25Forgive me, President Liu,
08:26but I'm afraid I have to go and attend
08:28to the vote that is happening right now in our Senate.
08:32But feel free to follow along on the television
08:35or perhaps on one of the many bugs
08:38that you've planted throughout the White House.
08:41Mr. Lowell?
08:43Senator James.
08:44Jesus Christ.
08:45What have we got?
08:46It's tighter than we thought, ma'am.
08:48Tom, up by two.
08:49What?
08:50Mr. Murray.
08:51Senator Montez.
08:52Up by one.
08:53Tom, what's going on here?
08:55I don't know.
08:56Did I...
08:57Senator Montez.
08:58Nelson voted against you?
09:00But Nelson is your protege, man.
09:02Get Nelson on the phone right this time.
09:04Tom!
09:05He voted!
09:06They're going alphabetically.
09:08Get somebody after him.
09:09Get Wallace on the phone.
09:11Get Wallace!
09:12I'm hearing something about your working Dunkirk.
09:14Yeah, on a circuit court nominee?
09:17That was...
09:18No, that was ten years ago.
09:20Someone is trying to fuck me.
09:23Tom James.
09:24Thank you, Summerlin,
09:25you senile old piss sponge.
09:2850 to 48.
09:29Tom needs just one more.
09:30All kinds of rumors about vote trading.
09:33It's not us!
09:34Oh, fuck.
09:35Wallace is going Montez.
09:37She's telling people that you reneged
09:39on her Alaskan Coast cleanup bill?
09:41That was a handout to Big Oil!
09:43Mrs. Wallace.
09:45Senator Montez.
09:4650 to 49.
09:48This is not Montez.
09:49She's getting help.
09:50Mr. Yanui.
09:51Come on, you page-diddling Hawaiian fat fuck.
09:55Senator Montez.
09:57That's 50.
09:58Not another tie!
10:00What now?
10:02A tie in the Senate
10:03is broken by the President of the Senate.
10:05Or what we humans call the Vice President.
10:08Oh, my God, perfect.
10:09You can vote for yourself.
10:10Go, go, go, go, go!
10:11No, Tom does not veep, you butler.
10:13Doyle is Vice President.
10:15Being called upon to cast this vote
10:18is a pleasure and an honor,
10:21not a burden.
10:22There's been enough uncertainty in this country,
10:25so I won't stall any further.
10:28Can you tip, please?
10:30Jesus, come on!
10:31You're on TV.
10:32With this in mind,
10:33I vote for Senator Laura Montez.
10:38It's official.
10:40The United States of America has a new president.
10:43This is a truly stunning turn of events
10:46for Laura Montez.
10:47Now you know what it feels like.
10:50I forgot a source.
10:52Apparently, Doyle masterminded the whole thing.
10:55Rumor has it he's getting Secretary of State.
11:00I hate this country.
11:03I know.
11:13You fuckers.
11:16How dare you?
11:18That magnificent woman counted on you,
11:22and you losers let her down.
11:24Yeah, I gotta call you back.
11:25Something amazing is happening.
11:26All you fucking cared about
11:28was your stupid bad selves.
11:31Your numbers?
11:32Your numbers are garbage.
11:35Your speeches?
11:36Garbage.
11:38And you're supposed to give her advice?
11:40Is that right?
11:41All I heard was dumb, stupid,
11:43I don't know what the fuck it was.
11:45Garbage?
11:47Gary.
11:48Oh, shut up!
11:53You screwed her the worst
11:56in all the ways.
11:59Oh, I know.
12:01I know you make fun of me,
12:02and I know that you think that I'm funny,
12:05and I'm funny.
12:06Well, at least I cared.
12:08I did my job.
12:10I fucking cared.
12:18Well, I just kind of made this whole year worth it.
12:22Today is a great day for democracy.
12:27It marks the beginning of a new chapter for America.
12:31You know, the vote we just witnessed
12:34sends one very clear message.
12:36Now is the time we put our divisions aside
12:40and we move this great nation forward.
12:43I just spoke to my good friend,
12:46Senator Bill O'Reilly,
12:48and I'm happy to say
12:50that he's fully endorsing my presidency,
12:54so I will be counting on his help
12:57for the weeks and months to come
13:00as I guide America out of these turbulent times.
13:06There she is, baby Ellen.
13:08Yeah, she seems really, really large for a baby.
13:11I was a tall kid when I was three.
13:13In fact, people in the neighborhood
13:14thought something was wrong with me
13:15because I was the size of a five-year-old.
13:17So what's the reason now, then?
13:19Ah, morning, Madam President. I am back.
13:22Where are you gone?
13:23Nevada. Six days.
13:25Oh, wow.
13:26Yeah, it was a really, really amazing visit.
13:28Buddy and I are painting back here,
13:30and I want to make sure to get this home.
13:32Okay, that's technically Catherine's painting.
13:41Hey. Hello.
13:43Are you here selling a young adult fiction idea too?
13:46Mine takes place in an alternate timeline
13:49where overweight, alcoholic ex-chiefs of staff
13:52are considered a sexual prize.
13:54Alternate timelines are a crutch for lazy sci-fi premises,
13:58e.g. Star Trek,
13:59with the exception of Deep Space Nine.
14:02You should try your hand at romance novels.
14:04I have.
14:06You hear Montez is looking to keep
14:08one senior White House staffer?
14:10Probably just a rumor. Won't worry about it.
14:14As is customary,
14:15President-elect Montez and her family
14:18will spend tonight at Blair House.
14:21Tomorrow morning at 10 a.m.,
14:23she will join President Meyer for coffee in the Red Room
14:27before heading to the inauguration.
14:30MSNBC has just learned that President-elect Montez
14:33plans to nominate Wall Street banker Charlie Baird...
14:36Well, that seems about right.
14:37...to be the Secretary of the Treasury.
14:39Mayor dated the banker briefly late last year.
14:53Oh, hey, Richard.
14:55Oh, Madam President.
14:57Uh, I'm just, uh, finishing packing up
14:59Congressman Ryan's old office.
15:01I have to do it now because it's the last night before.
15:04Yeah, I know what it's the last night before of.
15:07You know about Colt's birthday dinner?
15:10It's good, isn't it?
15:11It's very, very, very good.
15:13I should have relied on you more, Richard.
15:15I mean, really, seriously, you're one of the good ones.
15:18Well, thank you, Madam President.
15:19I mean, if I had had 100 Richards,
15:21who knows what I could have done.
15:23Well, I mean, probably a lot.
15:25Or it could turn out like one of those Twilight Zone scenarios
15:28where we all murder each other.
15:30I don't even remember how to drive.
15:35I need a wallet.
15:37Probably.
15:39And stamps. I've got to get stamps.
15:41If I was a little girl and you said to me,
15:44what do you want to do, I would have said,
15:46please, can I be president?
15:48And then it turned out to be
15:50the 12 loneliest months of my life.
15:53My auntie used to talk about loneliness like that.
15:55Okay, so right, you know that.
15:57Yeah. Yeah.
15:58We were pretty, pretty close,
16:01especially because my mother was so much older.
16:04Old enough to be my grandmother, as a matter of fact.
16:06Yeah. Yeah.
16:08Maybe my auntie was actually my real mother
16:11and my mother was actually my grandmother.
16:15Ah, wow, that's starting to make a lot of sense.
16:18Everybody knew about it but me, too.
16:20Are we praying, ma'am?
16:22No, I'm just going to lie down.
16:26Oh, God.
16:29Ugh, I wish I had won.
16:33I wish everybody won.
16:38Ma'am?
16:41Ma'am?
16:43Ma'am?
16:50Can you just stay?
16:52Mm-hmm, absolutely, ma'am.
16:59Special smoothie for a special lady.
17:04What happened?
17:06I don't know.
17:08Oh, my God.
17:10I hope it didn't fuck, Richard.
17:12What?
17:14Okay.
17:16You need some help?
17:17No.
17:19Okay, Senator Montez and her family, they're on their way.
17:22You're going to greet them at the North Portico doorway.
17:25Mom?
17:26Oh.
17:27Wow.
17:28Have you seen my film?
17:29The hard drive is missing.
17:30Honey, look who's here.
17:32Wow.
17:33I've been working with this new stylist
17:35since I've been doing all this press for the rescue farm.
17:38It's my new look.
17:40Mom, you're going to do something with your hair, right?
17:44Huh?
17:46Oh, God, look at this.
17:49Okay, you listen to me, listen to me.
17:52They can take away your presidency,
17:54they can take away your power,
17:56they can take away your dignity,
17:58but what is the one thing that they cannot take away from you?
18:02My beauty.
18:04That's right. Let's go.
18:06Back door, back door!
18:08Get up!
18:10You found me.
18:12Do you realize the whole goddamn Rayburn House office building
18:15can hear you and your twink army in here
18:17cock-scraping each other's esophagus?
18:19I'm sorry, sir, we were roughhousing.
18:21Jesus, Will, are you looking at what I'm looking at here?
18:24Will, tell them the first rule of hiring male staff.
18:27They must be substantially less attractive than the congressman.
18:30And I almost hired an Iraqi war veteran.
18:33Third-degree burns on half of his face,
18:35but the guy had personality,
18:37so, Will, tell them why I hired you instead.
18:39Because I'm repulsive both in appearance and manner.
18:42Now, let me give you some advice before you're yanked out of here
18:45like a cheerleader's unwanted pet.
18:47You say nothing, and you do less.
18:49And take off those fucking glasses.
18:51You look like Clark Kenneth.
18:53They dug up Christopher Reeve's corpse to play the part.
18:56And as for you ladies, this is D.C., not Miami.
19:01Congratulations, Jonah.
19:03Thanks, man.
19:05Fuck that guy.
19:07Come on, let's go. Game on.
19:09All right, ready?
19:11Oh, you fucking nuts!
19:13Oh!
19:16Go to the doctor and call my mom.
19:21Hey, have you ever used that Truman bowling alley?
19:24No, no, of course not.
19:26I worked here.
19:28I didn't go to the White House for a fourth-grade birthday party.
19:30Jesus.
19:32Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
19:34That's Amy.
19:36Hey, Candy.
19:38Congratulations. Wow, Montez's new chief of staff.
19:40Uh, Ben here's just showing me around.
19:42You've interviewed here so many times,
19:44I'd think that you'd know the place like the back of your hand by now.
19:47Kent Davidson.
19:49Mike McClintock.
19:51Any luck with the new job search?
19:53Oh, it's all right. I'm back at the post. I'm working.
19:55This is Debra Lee, our surrogate.
19:57Hi.
19:59Our twins are in there.
20:01And this is Ellen, our new big girl.
20:04She's three.
20:06Mike, she has the head circumference of a six-year-old.
20:08I'm six.
20:12What's she saying?
20:14Here's an interesting fact.
20:16Would you believe that it was called the Red Room
20:18before it was actually painted red?
20:20Oh.
20:22I heard that. Yeah.
20:24What'd it cost to paint this thing, you think, back then?
20:26$12.
20:28Yeah, $12, something like that.
20:30I was thinking right around $15.
20:32I think it was a slave state, so it might have been free.
20:34Oh.
20:36Hmm.
20:38Oh, I'm just wondering, boys?
20:40Boys, no.
20:42They're fine. Okay.
20:44Hell, when my boys are that age,
20:46they'd have torn this place apart.
20:48I have three boys.
20:50My entire house smells like an armpit.
20:52Oh, hate to hear that.
20:54See, glad I have girls.
20:56Well, girls will cost you later.
20:58Girls are the worst.
21:04Well, I also heard that it might go down
21:06into the teens tonight.
21:08Well, I'm not playing ball tonight, right?
21:10Oh. Yes, you should.
21:12Well, give me the heat any day.
21:14Mm.
21:16But then again, I grew up in Mexico.
21:18His family's from Jalisco.
21:20Es muy caliente there.
21:22Oh.
21:24And where exactly in Ohio are you from, Laura?
21:28Um, well, I grew up
21:30right outside of Cleveland.
21:32Okay.
21:34But after, you know, 15 years,
21:36I feel like I am
21:38100% New Mexican.
21:40New Mexican, but not Mexican.
21:46Of all the White House traditions,
21:48this one is probably
21:50my favorite.
21:52Is it? Oh.
22:06I just had it.
22:08I have this thing
22:10every day, and now I can't find it.
22:14An estimated one million
22:16people are anxiously awaiting
22:18the arrival of President-elect
22:20Laura Montes.
22:22Montes! Montes!
22:24Montes! Montes!
22:26Ladies and gentlemen,
22:28the President
22:30of the United States,
22:32Selena Meyer.
22:36President
22:38Meyer has taken the stage,
22:40and she's greeting a
22:42very attractive stranger.
22:44That is, first daughter,
22:46Catherine Meyer. Oh, wow.
22:48Tibet.
22:50The handoff of power has begun.
22:52President-elect Montes will be sworn in
22:54and address the nation as President
22:56for the first time.
22:58Why did you do it, Andrew?
23:00I offered you Secretary
23:02of State. And you offered it to
23:04everybody in town.
23:06Your head is so far up Montes' ass.
23:08Next time it's Alejandro's birthday,
23:10he's gonna come all over your face.
23:14That's the truth.
23:16President Meyer
23:18taking a moment to catch up with
23:20her Vice President and longtime political
23:22ally, Andrew Doyle.
23:24Those two have a very special relationship.
23:26I,
23:28Laura Priscilla Montes,
23:30do solemnly swear...
23:32That I will faithfully execute
23:34the office of President of the United States...
23:38That I will faithfully execute
23:40the office of the President of the United States...
23:44And will, to the best of my ability...
23:48Preserve, protect, and defend
23:50the Constitution of the United States.
23:54Preserve, protect, and defend
23:56the Constitution of the United States.
23:58So help me God.
24:00So help me God.
24:02So help me God.
24:04Congratulations, Madam President.
24:12Gracias.
24:14My fellow citizens,
24:16this is the dawn of a new era.
24:18Una época nueva.
24:24We are interrupting President Montes' speech
24:26to bring you breaking news.
24:28On the left side of your screen,
24:30you're seeing live footage from Andrew's Air Force Base.
24:32We have just learned
24:34that mere minutes into her presidency,
24:36President Montes has brokered
24:38a deal with the Chinese government
24:40to free Tibet.
24:42And on board that plane
24:44are these so-called Baby Llamas,
24:46Tibetan spiritual leaders who have been freed
24:48from decades of Chinese captivity
24:50as part of this historic agreement.
24:52This will no doubt put President Montes
24:54in line for the Nobel Prize.
24:56Faiths are all of our problems.
24:58We must put our faith
25:00in the resources...
25:02You're not going to believe this,
25:04but she just freed the Llamas.
25:06What?
25:08She brokered with the Chinese to free Tibet.
25:10Thank you. May God bless you,
25:12and may God bless America.
25:20Madam President.
25:22Oh, Senator James.
25:24And a historic day
25:26for womankind.
25:28What did you think of the speech?
25:30I had no idea her tits were that big.
25:34So, uh, what's next for you?
25:36You know, I've always dreamed of living in a small town,
25:38having a little place on Main Street,
25:40hanging a shingle out front,
25:42and running my own little
25:44multi-billion dollar hedge fund.
25:46Back to basics.
25:48Okay. All right. Well, uh,
25:50I'll see you around.
25:52See you around.
25:54Madam President. What?
25:56Nice shoes.
25:58Oh, come on, man.
26:10Where's Sue? I don't know.
26:16Well, I'm not good with goodbyes.
26:18Or winning
26:20presidential elections.
26:22That's not true.
26:24Yeah, it is.
26:26Um...
26:32I don't know what to say.
26:34Was I supposed to write something, ma'am?
26:36Nobody told me.
26:38I thought he was getting a baby.
26:40Yeah, that's not a baby.
26:42Uh...
26:44Well, we gave America everything we had.
26:46Yeah, sure did.
26:48Inspiring words, ma'am.
26:50Godspeed.
26:54All of you.
26:56It's...
27:00All right, let's go, girls.
27:02Get on with the thing.
27:04Ma'am?
27:06There it is.
27:18Ma'am?
27:20Ma'am.
27:22I just want to thank you for everything.
27:24Just come with us.
27:26You should just come.
27:28I don't even have my...
27:36Where are they going?
27:48Gosh.
27:50From a distance, it looks really beautiful.
27:54Yeah. From a distance.
27:58Can I borrow somebody's phone?
28:00I have to check on Buddy.
28:02Oh, did you get a dog?
28:04Ooh. What is that?
28:06Okay. What the fuck is that?
28:08Small problem with one of the engines, Madam President.
28:10We're gonna have to take her back down.
28:12Oh, Lord.
28:14All of a sudden, we run out of gas.
28:18If you could just step away from the aircraft for a bit,
28:20we'll call you a motorcade.
28:22Oh, my God.
28:24What am I walking on?
28:26Grass, ma'am.
28:30Mom?
28:32Are you sure you don't know where the hard drive of my film is?
28:34No.
28:40What is that sound?
28:42The parade, ma'am.
28:44I think I can walk back from here.
29:02Oh, my God.
29:24Oh, my God.
29:26Oh, my God.
29:28Oh, my God.
29:30Oh, my God.
29:42Maybe I'll ruin her parade.
29:44That's it from the National Mall.
29:46Back to you, Wolf.
29:50Nice work, Egan.
29:54I may have a full-time gig for you.
29:56Really?
29:58On the overnight.
30:00Really?
30:02Easy, Cronkite. Just think of it as morning somewhere.
30:04Carrie?
30:06Yes?
30:08Could you give me tomorrow's research for this?
30:10So, what do you say?
30:12I just got an offer from CBS News.
30:14So, Greg, I will say this.
30:16Egan out.
30:20Yeah, I just got your e-mail.
30:22I just want to make sure.
30:24The job is with CBS, right?
30:26That's custom.
30:28Yeah, there's just some minor swelling, Mr. Ryan,
30:30but nothing that a little ice won't fix.
30:32Excellent.
30:34I, um...
30:36I have tickets to the Inaugural Ball tonight.
30:38Oh.
30:40Yeah, I'm a congressman.
30:42Second ticket is unclaimed.
30:44Oh, I...
30:46You're available.
30:48Married. I have another ring hiding under the gloves.
30:50No, I saw you.
30:52Anyway, there's no easy way to say this,
30:54but there's a tumor in your left testicle.
30:56I just want to biopsy it,
30:58and we can take it from there.
31:00Take what from where?
31:02Early detection would have, uh, prevented this.
31:04We really encourage regular self-examination.
31:06Yeah, I know.
31:10Oh, they're waiting for you in the reservoir room, ma'am.
31:12Thank you, Sue.
31:14Of course.
31:16Selena, good news.
31:18We found the missing Nevada ballots.
31:20You won.
31:24After this one,
31:26let's go to Tea Cup.
31:28What's wrong?