• 2 months ago
Remington Steele S03E16

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TV
Transcript
00:00He's dead.
00:05Who's that gentleman not taking a bath in my bathtub?
00:08I'm not real good with death.
00:10You're also a murder suspect.
00:11Who is she?
00:12Clarissa.
00:13She's Ed Tudor.
00:14Who are they?
00:15My study group.
00:16Sure, I remember you.
00:17The trampoline.
00:18And a gymnast, too.
00:19Now, Laura, before you go blowing this whole thing out of proportion.
00:27If I find this gymnast here waltzing out of your bedroom with your pajamas on, how could
00:31anybody possibly blow this out of proportion?
01:27Give me an H, give me an A, give me an R, give me an O, give me an L, give me a D. Yeah,
01:54Harold!
01:55Yeah!
01:56That's a boy!
01:57All right!
01:58Yeah!
01:59All right!
02:00That a boy!
02:01All right, Harold!
02:02All right!
02:03The pride of Benjamin High!
02:04He eludes the tackler.
02:05He sees an opening.
02:06He slithers through the line.
02:07And then he penetrates the hole.
02:08There he goes!
02:09He scores!
02:10Yay!
02:11You won it all, Harold!
02:12Are you ready to put it between the uprights?
02:13Yeah!
02:14Are those the reporters?
02:15Mary Jo from Channel 6.
02:16She's come to evaluate your performance.
02:17I'm ready.
02:18I know.
02:19I can feel it.
02:20I'll go start the shower swimming.
02:22Did Mary Jo get anything out of you?
02:51♪♪
03:01♪♪
03:11♪♪
03:21♪♪
03:31Hello?
03:33It's done.
03:35♪♪
03:45♪♪
03:53Hello, police?
03:55Police, it's awful, just awful.
03:57A man's been shot.
03:59Where?
04:00Oh, it's at 2245 North Comstock,
04:04number 304.
04:06Yeah.
04:07Who am I?
04:09I'm a concerned citizen.
04:11Please hurry.
04:18He's dead.
04:19Nothing gets past you, does it, Bernard?
04:21Now, are you just going to sit there,
04:22or are you going to help me move him?
04:24Move him where?
04:25Out of my living room, at least.
04:27Well, then what are we going to do with him?
04:30Oh, no.
04:34♪♪
04:45I don't even believe what is happening.
04:48We're doomed.
04:50I'll never graduate now.
04:53Life's over.
04:55My neighbors went camping for a couple of days.
04:57We can put the body in their condo.
04:59Come on, grab a leg.
05:00We're dead.
05:01That's it.
05:02We're dead.
05:03It'll be if we don't move him.
05:04Now, come on, grab a leg.
05:09I'm not real good with death.
05:15What did he say, 304?
05:16Yeah.
05:17All right, all right.
05:18Keep that door open for the scope.
05:19Start a door-to-door.
05:22Police!
05:23Open up!
05:24♪♪
05:31Davis, you want to check the upstairs?
05:33Yeah, I'll get it.
05:34No sign here.
05:35Are you sure it was 304?
05:37That's what he said.
05:40Anything up there?
05:41No, not a thing.
05:46Looks like a false alarm.
05:47What do you think it was?
05:48I don't know, maybe it's down the hall.
05:54You know, you amaze me, Laura.
05:56How someone can find so much paperwork to do
05:58when there's scarcely a case in the desk
06:00fairly boggles the mind.
06:02The job isn't done until the paperwork is finished,
06:05Mr. Steele.
06:06Hmm.
06:07I, uh, I understand there's a quaint little island
06:10just offshore where they...
06:12You've never heard of paperwork, huh?
06:14No, I haven't.
06:15I've never heard of it.
06:16I've never heard of it.
06:17I've never heard of it.
06:18I've never heard of it.
06:19I've never heard of it.
06:20I've never heard of it.
06:21I've never heard of it.
06:22I've never heard of it.
06:23Huh?
06:24Catalina, I believe it's called.
06:25And it just so happens that there's an acquaintance of mine
06:28who has generously offered the service
06:30of this whirlybird for the evening.
06:32I thought we might, uh,
06:34take it out for a spin, as it were.
06:36Catalina?
06:37Hmm.
06:38Whirlybird?
06:39Hmm.
06:40Hmm.
06:46I guess that about wraps things up.
06:53Hi, Aunt Mildred.
06:55Bernard!
06:56Oh!
06:57Hi!
06:58Kiddo, what are you doing down here?
07:01What a surprise.
07:02I had some business in L.A.
07:04Oh, Mr. Steele.
07:06Miss Holt.
07:07This is my nephew, Bernard, from Seattle.
07:09We've heard nothing but great things about you, Bernard.
07:13Oh, he's got straight A's at university.
07:16He's got straight A's.
07:17He's got straight A's.
07:18He's got straight A's.
07:19He's got straight A's.
07:21Oh, he's got straight A's at U.C. Santa Barbara.
07:24Oh, yeah, quite the entrepreneur, I believe.
07:26Well...
07:27Oh, are you kidding?
07:29He could buy and sell Wall Street
07:31if he wasn't such an honest kid.
07:33Uh-oh.
07:34I've always had a soft part in my heart for profit-makers.
07:37Remington Steele Investigations.
07:39Your aunt just brought us another one of your surefire deals.
07:42Oh, well, even surefire deals
07:44have been known to end up dead on their feet.
07:47It's for you, Bernard.
07:49Someone named Clarissa?
07:51Uh, excuse me.
07:55Hello.
07:56He's something else, isn't he?
07:58Yes, he is indeed, Mother.
08:00I love that kid.
08:01We've got trouble.
08:02My neighbor's camping trip just got rained on.
08:04They're coming home now.
08:05Ah-ha.
08:06Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha.
08:08Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
08:10What are we gonna do with the body?
08:12Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
08:13He always was a happy kid.
08:15Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
08:17I don't know.
08:19What do you think?
08:20You're the college kid.
08:22You think of something.
08:24Ha-ha-ha-ha.
08:29What do you mean you're not going to pay me?
08:32You owe me $15,000.
08:35Tell him, Morty.
08:39Uh, our...
08:41Our problem, Mr. Silver,
08:44seems to be that...
08:46Well, there's no proof of Mr. Delanian's death.
08:51I stood as close to Delanian
08:54as I am standing to you right now.
08:57I pulled out my .38.
09:00I screwed on the silencer.
09:05And I pointed it at him, and I calmly...
09:08It's not that we don't believe you, Mr. Silver.
09:11Oh, God, please don't shoot me.
09:13Then what's the problem, Morty?
09:15What do we have to do?
09:17Spell it out for you?
09:19We hired you to take Delanian out by noon tomorrow.
09:23What good does it do us if nobody knows he's dead?
09:26Technically speaking, Mr. Silver, she is correct.
09:29This is not the way it works.
09:31I'm a professional.
09:33You hired me to kill Delanian.
09:35I killed Delanian.
09:37That means you owe me $15,000.
09:40Don't try to bully us, Buster.
09:43You won't get one red cent out of us
09:46until we read about Delanian's death in headlines.
09:49And if it's not done by tomorrow, you're fired.
10:00Ah, Catalina, here we come.
10:02What's the rush, Mr. Steel?
10:04Let's face it, Laura, any time we've tempted fate before,
10:07it's been anything but cooperative.
10:09Shall we get out of here the sooner the better?
10:12I've got a surprise for you.
10:14Show him, Bernard.
10:16He got his ticket to Sinatra's last performance
10:19tonight at the Greek Theater.
10:21Isn't that fantastic?
10:23I wanted to do something special for you both
10:26because you've been so good to Aunt Mildred.
10:29We'd like nothing more.
10:31Thank you, Bernard.
10:33It's my pleasure.
10:35We'd better hurry.
10:37Do you mind if Bernard stays here until we get back?
10:40I've got something coming up that I really should study for.
10:43He's so diligent.
10:45Make yourself at home, Bernard, yes?
10:47Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot.
10:51Have a good time.
10:53We will, Bernard, we will.
11:05What's this?
11:07I was trying to make him look inconspicuous.
11:09A dead man sitting in a convertible
11:12smoking a cigarette is inconspicuous?
11:14So my hearse is on back order.
11:16The least you could have done
11:18is gotten rid of his shoulder pads.
11:30Let's just get him upstairs before anybody sees us.
11:33All right.
11:39Good old Uncle Harold, eh?
11:41One drink too many and he's out like a light.
11:43Oh, but he loves these costume parties.
12:00You mean to tell me we only have this place
12:02for another three or four hours?
12:04We can't keep lugging this guy all over town, you know.
12:07Hey.
12:09You said I had a plan, didn't I?
12:13What's Jill's number?
12:15Bernard, this really isn't the time to party.
12:17What's her number?
12:19555-6349.
12:23Hi, Jill?
12:25Bernard.
12:27No, don't worry, you're not being audited.
12:29Um, listen, you know that steamer trunk that you've got?
12:32Yeah, yeah, that's the one.
12:34Bring it over to 5994 Rossmoor,
12:37apartment A, right away.
12:39Don't ask why.
12:41Bernard, what are you doing?
12:47Hollywood, please.
12:49Speedy Express?
12:54Hello, Speedy Express?
12:56Yeah.
12:58How soon can you get a steamer trunk
13:00to Santa Barbara?
13:02Wait.
13:04Uh, about 180 pounds?
13:08It's 5994 Rossmoor,
13:11fifth floor, apartment A.
13:15Well, can you give me the address, please?
13:17Okay.
13:19It's 5994 Rossmoor,
13:21fifth floor, apartment A.
13:24Well, can you be here in an hour?
13:26Oh, terrific.
13:28Thanks.
13:30Yeah, don't be late.
13:34We're sending your brother
13:36a belated Christmas present.
13:38Bernard, I like your style.
13:45Somebody's early.
13:49Oh, good morning.
13:51Aunt Mildred, Miss Holt, what happened?
13:53The concert was rained out.
13:55Rained?
13:57It's an outdoor theater, Bernard.
13:59Poor Frank never got to finish.
14:01It's a foggy day.
14:03Who's she?
14:05Oh, Aunt Mildred, Miss Holt,
14:07Mr. Steele, this is Clarissa.
14:09She, uh, came over
14:11to help me with my Latin.
14:13Glad to meet you.
14:15Excuse me, I've got to check in.
14:19Oh.
14:21Uh, she's a tutor.
14:23Hi.
14:25Sure I remember you.
14:27The trampoline.
14:29Right.
14:31And a gymnast, too.
14:33Ah.
14:35Well, uh, I'll hang up the coats.
14:37No, no, no, no, please.
14:39Please, please, allow me.
14:41Come on, Bernard, there's no sense
14:43in both of us getting damp out of the way Sunday.
14:45Regardless of the outcome, Bernard,
14:47the tickets were a lovely gesture.
14:49Bernard.
14:51Bernard?
14:53What?
14:55Uh, Latin.
15:01Bernard,
15:03can I have a word with you?
15:05Can I have a word with you?
15:15I realize you college kids
15:17are given to pranks now,
15:19but don't you think a dead quarterback
15:21in my bathtub is a little bit excessive?
15:23Please, Mr. Steele, I swear
15:25there's a good explanation.
15:27Just whatever you do,
15:29don't let Aunt Mildred find out.
15:31Good point.
15:33I'll get rid of her.
15:35Bless you, Mr. Steele.
15:37Just as soon as she's gone,
15:39Bernard, you and your Latin tutor
15:41have a lot of explaining to do.
15:43Understand?
15:45Go.
15:53Is anything wrong, boss?
15:55Oh, no, no, no.
15:57I just wanted to thank Bernard
15:59personally for his little surprise.
16:02It's the thought that counts.
16:08Oh, hello.
16:10Oh, hi, gorgeous.
16:12Hi, Bernard. Hi, Clarissa.
16:16Who are they?
16:18My study group.
16:22Oh!
16:24It's mine.
16:26Can I use your phone, please?
16:28Please, go right ahead, yeah, sure.
16:30Popular group?
16:34What's with the trunk?
16:36The trunk? Oh, I had it.
16:38Why?
16:40I'll explain later, Laura, excuse me.
16:42Oops, sorry.
16:44Speedy Express, on time with your money back.
16:46We had to pick up this steamer truck.
16:48There you go.
16:50Thank you very much.
16:52Of course, go right ahead.
16:54Use the phone.
16:56All right, all right.
16:58What is going on around here?
17:00Sounds fun.
17:02But I'm going to have to charge you extra.
17:04Well...
17:10Uh, can I call you right back?
17:16Well, Bernard,
17:18it's time to fess up, old boy.
17:20It is?
17:22Oh, come on, let's not be bashful, old boy.
17:24We're all familiar with the unique rituals
17:26of the fraternity initiation, hmm?
17:28Fraternity initiation?
17:30Oh, honey, we didn't ruin it for you, did we?
17:32Oh, no, Mildred, actually,
17:34he still has a good chance of getting this trunk to, uh...
17:36Santa Barbara.
17:38Right, Santa Barbara, okay, chaps, take it away, there you go.
17:40And you can still get all those things
17:42that you got in the scavenger hunt,
17:44the Hollywood Boulevard street sign...
17:46The Bob Eucker baseball card.
17:48The hubcap from the police car.
17:50Yeah, there you go.
17:52And you too, Mildred, there you go.
17:54Put this little cape around your shoulders.
17:56Don't forget your handbag, there you go.
17:58All right, Miss Holt, good night.
18:00Okay, and you too, darling, there you go, there's the door.
18:02All right, Laura, this one's very wet outside.
18:04Good night.
18:06Good luck, sweetheart.
18:08I'll take care of Mildred, not to worry about a thing.
18:10Good night.
18:12See you later.
18:14I don't believe it! We did it!
18:16Mr. Steele, I like your style.
18:18Let's forget the formalities.
18:20I'm going to put this in my bathtub.
18:26Harold Delanian.
18:31The Harold Delanian of Delanian Engineering?
18:34That's the one.
18:36See, we kind of found out
18:38that Delanian was about to let his company
18:40be taken over by Milgram Industries.
18:42How did you find out?
18:44Harold told me.
18:46So we decided to buy some Delanian Engineering stock.
18:48And then, as a way of making up for our savings,
18:50Aunt Mildred invested a large chunk of your money,
18:52and because the deal was so sweet,
18:54I invested funds that I sort of borrowed
18:56from the student treasury for myself.
18:58I see. At the risk of sounding blunt,
19:00you're a lady of the evening, are you not?
19:02We prefer to be called love brokers.
19:04How quaint.
19:06Then if you and your partners are love brokers,
19:08doesn't that make you their rep?
19:10No, no, no, no, no.
19:12You see, Clarissa's brother goes to the university.
19:14I started doing Clarissa's taxes.
19:16She recommended me to her associates,
19:18and then I began investing their excess capital.
19:20Oh, interesting.
19:22You're quite an enterprising young man, are you not, Bernard?
19:24Well, I like to keep busy.
19:26You're also a murder suspect.
19:28No, hey, he didn't plug the guy.
19:30No, Harold and I were doing the cheerleader and football star.
19:32We do it every Thursday afternoon at the same time.
19:34And next thing I know,
19:36he's lying on my floor dead as a doornail.
19:38Well, obviously the killer knew about the routine.
19:40If Milgram Industries finds out the Delanian's dead
19:42before they announce the takeover tomorrow at noon,
19:44the stocks will plummet, and we'll all lose our shirts.
19:46But if we can just hide the body
19:48until after the announcement, we'll be home free.
19:50Will you help us, Mr. Steele?
19:54Please, Mr. Steele.
19:56Just 24 little hours.
19:58It's not going to make any difference to Mr. Delanian.
20:04Just so you know, I'm not doing this for you or your clients.
20:06I'm only doing this to protect your sweet, innocent aunt
20:08who doesn't want to see her cherished nephew go to prison.
20:10Uh, what are we going to do with the body?
20:12The body.
20:16Where does one usually deposit dearly departeds?
20:22The morgue.
20:30Good night, Miss Holt.
20:32Good night, Milgram.
20:40Latin tutor?
20:43And gymnast?
20:47Back to Mr. Steele's, Fred,
20:49and I'll pay for the speeding tickets.
21:10Good night.
21:40Hello?
21:44Clarissa?
21:46Yes? Who's this?
21:48Hi. My name's Bill.
21:50I'm in from San Francisco.
21:52My cousin suggested that I call you.
21:54He said you were a real nice girl.
21:56Uh, well, I'm sorry, Bill,
21:58but I'm kind of busy right now.
22:02Wait a minute. How did you get this number?
22:04♪
22:34Hello?
22:38Mr. Steele?
22:46Anybody home?
22:56Hello?
23:00Mr. Steele?
23:04Mr. Steele?
23:34This is never going to work.
23:36The corpse came C.O.D.
23:38You mean we're going to try to get money for him?
23:41George Brandt, John Blondel, Columbia, 1947.
23:44The young woman receives a box of dress goods
23:46and a corpse C.O.D.
23:48I'll explain that. Don't worry.
23:53Leo?
23:55Hi. We've got another guest on the phone.
23:57I'm sorry, Mr. Steele.
23:59I don't know who you are.
24:01Leo? What do you got?
24:03Hi. We've got another guest for your hotel, okay?
24:06Hey, where do you think you're going?
24:10Well, he's all yours, but just take him away, okay?
24:13No, no. He's not all mine.
24:15Not till the paperwork shows up he's not mine.
24:17We're doomed.
24:19How does he look so good?
24:21Yeah, what do you expect? He's dead.
24:23This is very funny.
24:25I met your partner, smart guy.
24:27I'm not real good with death.
24:30Pick the hell of an occupation, kid.
24:32Hey, fella, I mean, we're very busy.
24:34I mean, it's a busy night tonight.
24:36I mean, you've got a lot of stiffs out there.
24:38They're stacking up like cordwood, okay?
24:40We'll see you later, all right?
24:42Hey, wait, come here.
24:44What are you guys trying to pull here?
24:46Okay, okay, you caught us.
24:48Bart and me, we knocked this poor sap off, you know?
24:50So Bart says to me, what are we gonna do with the body?
24:52And I says, what do you mean, what are we gonna do with the body?
24:54What do you think you do with the body?
24:56You take the body to the morgue. That's what you do.
24:58Right? Right.
25:08All right, sign here, funny guy.
25:10I'm gonna list him as a John Doe until the paperwork shows up.
25:13And it had better show up, or you're going to be cordwood.
25:16Understand?
25:21Come on.
25:28Forget your key, Mr. Steele?
25:31Hello, Clarissa.
25:33I thought I'd take the chance that you were free tonight anyway.
25:41I'm very impressed.
25:43You obviously choose your friends very carefully.
25:46Should I consider you a friend?
25:48We can have a good time, or we can have a bad time.
25:52From what I understand, you like to have a real good time.
25:55Where did you hear that?
25:57I told you, my cousin.
25:59He recommended you very highly.
26:01As a matter of fact,
26:03I dropped a package off by your front door for him this afternoon.
26:06What package?
26:08You know what package.
26:10You have it here somewhere.
26:12How do you know that I do?
26:14Who else?
26:16I want you to give me the package, Clarissa.
26:19Why should I?
26:23You know what this is?
26:25I have a passing familiarity with it, yes.
26:30This is so we don't disturb the neighbors.
26:33Awfully considerate of you.
26:38Where's the package, Clarissa?
26:40Hey, wait a minute. I was only going to give it to you.
26:43I don't need it.
26:45Where's the package, Clarissa?
26:47Hey, wait a minute. I was only kidding.
26:50I don't have any package.
26:54Wrong answer.
26:56You don't seriously think that I would have the package here, do you?
27:01Where, then?
27:03I'll show you.
27:05You're a real smart girl, Clarissa.
27:07Not from where I'm standing.
27:15Which way?
27:17Turn left.
27:23You ever been to the Caribbean?
27:25No.
27:28Oh, you really should.
27:30Try to go if you ever get the chance.
27:32It's so peaceful and beautiful.
27:35I'm not going.
27:37I'm not going.
27:39I'm not going.
27:41I'm not going.
27:43It's so peaceful and beautiful.
27:59And don't even think about it.
28:05That's one of the nice things about this job.
28:08You get to travel a lot.
28:13The hard part is that you can't let your emotions interfere with your work.
28:18It's a lot like a doctor.
28:20I mean, if a doctor let it get to him every time he lost a patient,
28:24it'd be a basket case.
28:26You just can't let it get to you.
28:30The key to it is to look at it as a job.
28:33No more, no less.
28:35Of course, there are some risks.
28:37Whoa!
29:07Mr. Steele?
29:12So, what are you doing down here?
29:18I know it's silly, but I was scared,
29:20and I didn't know what else to do or where to go.
29:23Yes, well, no need to feel ashamed,
29:25given the same situation.
29:29Um, I would have done the same thing.
29:32I would have done the same thing.
29:34Would you like a cup of tea?
29:39Thanks.
29:47Yes, well, it's been a very long evening, hasn't it, for both of us?
29:53I think we could both do with a good night's sleep.
29:56I'll get a blanket for the couch.
30:00You can use my bed.
30:17Good night.
30:19I don't get it.
30:21I don't get it either.
30:23I don't get it.
30:28I have trouble keeping most men out of the bedroom.
30:31Well, um, tempting though it may be at the moment, Larissa,
30:35I'd rather like to think I have my sights set on other shores.
30:39Gotcha.
30:41And I'm not going to ask that age-old question.
30:44What's a nice girl like you doing in a profession like this?
30:47That's a relief.
30:49Hmm. Good night.
30:51Night.
31:07Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
31:11Oh, hello, Laura.
31:14I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation
31:18for why I was taken at gunpoint from this room
31:21by a man who does that sort of thing for a living
31:24who mistook me for Bernard's Latin tutor, Clarissa,
31:27who isn't really a Latin tutor
31:29unless this particular Latin tutor moonlights as a...
31:32Hi.
31:35Uh...
31:37Now, Laura, before you go blowing this whole thing out of proportion...
31:40Blow this out of proportion?
31:42I came here to find out what was going on behind my back
31:45and I barely escaped with my life.
31:47Now I find this gymnast here
31:49waltzing out of your bedroom with your pajamas on.
31:52How could anybody possibly blow this out of proportion?
31:55Laura, you're entitled to an explanation
31:58and an explanation you shall get. Believe me.
32:01Uh...
32:03Okay. It all started with Bernard.
32:08Bernard?
32:10What's the matter, honey? Huh?
32:12Can't you sleep?
32:15I guess I've just got a lot on my mind.
32:17Oh, I know what that's like.
32:19You do?
32:23You're in so deep, you feel like you're drowning
32:26and there's not even so much as a straw to hang on to.
32:29Are you trying to tell me something?
32:34Whatever you're going through, honey, it could be worse.
32:38Look at me.
32:40You never really did know your Uncle Walter, did you?
32:44Lucky you.
32:46Wish I could say the same.
32:50But you make your bed and you lie in it.
32:54Nine years of lying.
32:58And your mother and I were never the closest of sisters.
33:04But there's always a silver lining.
33:07There is?
33:09Mm-hmm. Do you know what mine was?
33:12Uh-uh.
33:14You.
33:16Me?
33:18I couldn't have kids and, bam, your mother had you.
33:21I guess I was a teensy-weensy little bit jealous.
33:25Well, don't be. I'm no prize.
33:30Watching you grow up.
33:32Seeing you turn from a cute little kid
33:35into a fine, upstanding young man.
33:38Well, Bernard, I'm as proud of you as if you were my own.
33:46Want a bite?
33:56Don't stay up too late.
33:58I was already an unwitting accessory
34:00after the fact I saw no point, no point whatsoever
34:03in getting you incriminated as well.
34:05It's as simple as that.
34:07But it's not all Bernard's fault.
34:09That very well may be,
34:11but there's a professional killer lurking out there somewhere
34:14and he's more than willing to kill again to get his package back.
34:17But why would he go to such extremes to get Harold
34:20if he knows that he shot him already?
34:22Well, there's a reason.
34:24Why would he go to such extremes to get Harold
34:26if he knows that he shot him already?
34:28Well, obviously he wasn't satisfied with simply killing Delanian.
34:31He also wanted it known that Delanian was dead.
34:33Based on that, I think it's fair to assume
34:36that their motive was to stop the takeover.
34:38Delanian's death was the means to that end.
34:40No doubt the killer will keep trying to find the body
34:43until the announcement.
34:44Are you saying he'll still be after me?
34:46Huh.
34:47Well, we can't very well just sit around
34:50waiting for the axe to fall.
34:52There's got to be some way to flush the killer out.
35:00What's wrong?
35:01I don't like the way you're looking at me.
35:06This is by far the most ill-gotten,
35:08ill-conceived, illogical idea you've ever come up with.
35:10Will you stop yapping so I can fix this mustache?
35:13How do you possibly expect anyone to mistake me for Delanian
35:16never mind the fact that he's dead?
35:18Well, the killer can't find the body, right?
35:20If we create the illusion that Delanian is still alive...
35:23Oh, yes, a professional assassin
35:25will be pointing a loaded .38 at me.
35:27Oh, wonderful.
35:28Every plan has a flaw, Mr. Steele.
35:31Now, these are some of the things
35:33that Delanian left at Clarissa's.
35:35They may come in handy.
35:39Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the press.
35:42For the last 25 years, Delanian Engineering...
35:47What will you be doing
35:48while I'm playing sitting duck for a torpedo?
35:50Baiting the waters.
35:52Whoever wanted to stop the takeover
35:54is most likely from either Delanian's company
35:56or Milgram Industries.
35:58While you're checking in, I'll spread the good news
36:00that Mr. Delanian is alive and well.
36:09Please, everyone, I don't know where Mr. Delanian is.
36:13Mr. Delanian will not be available today.
36:15Who are you?
36:17My name is Laura Holt.
36:18I'm a private investigator.
36:20Mr. Delanian hired me to protect him
36:22until he makes an important announcement at noon today.
36:25If you need to contact him for any reason,
36:28he can be reached at the Hotel Belvedere.
36:34Delanian's alive.
36:35How can that be?
36:40Myrtle.
36:41Myrtle, did you hear that?
36:43There's only one explanation for it.
36:46He took off silver.
36:48That means Delanian knows about us.
36:50Myrtle, what are we going to do?
36:52You want something done right?
36:54You gotta do it yourself.
36:56Are you crazy?
36:58We don't even have a gun.
37:00So we find a shady pawn shop,
37:02use a fake I.D.,
37:04and buy a gun that makes holes.
37:06Big holes.
37:08And we take care of Delanian ourselves.
37:16I called earlier about a suite.
37:18The name's Delanian.
37:20Isn't Harold Delanian?
37:26Uh, I think Mr. Delanian
37:28will find this suite more to his liking.
37:32You're welcome.
37:34Hello.
37:35Jill?
37:36That's me.
37:38What did you do to your eye?
37:40A little misunderstanding.
37:42Well, let's start with some bubbly,
37:45and then we'll see what we can do.
37:47Okay.
37:48I'll be right back.
37:49Okay.
37:50I'll be right back.
37:51Okay.
37:52Okay.
37:53Okay.
37:54Okay.
37:55Okay.
37:56Okay.
37:57Okay.
37:58Okay.
37:59Okay.
38:00Okay.
38:01Okay.
38:02Okay.
38:03And then we'll see what else we can do
38:05to relieve your swelling.
38:09How do you know Clarissa?
38:11Oh, a mutual friend recommended her.
38:14Actually, I was sort of hoping
38:16that the three of us could have a party.
38:18That sounds wicked.
38:23I also made sure Mr. Delanian was paged,
38:25just like you told me.
38:27Mr. Steele?
38:28Excellent work, Clarissa.
38:29Excellent work.
38:31If Miss Holt's plan works,
38:33I should be dead by lunchtime.
38:38Good Lord.
38:39Not another emergency.
38:42I'll take care of it.
38:45Cheer up, Bernard.
38:47You're not the one wearing the moustache, mate.
38:49Hmm?
38:50Hi, Joe.
38:51What's up?
38:53I can't.
38:54I'll probably be here at the Belvedere
38:56till afternoon.
38:57I'm sure.
38:58Sorry.
38:59The Belvedere, you say?
39:04I've got an idea.
39:05Why don't you get the bubble bath started
39:07and I'll go retrieve some more champagne?
39:09A little bubbly with a bubbly?
39:12A little bubbly with a bubbly?
39:37Sorry!
39:38Sorry!
39:39Sorry!
39:40This elevator is full.
39:41What do you think we're waiting for?
39:49Myrtle, I'm sorry.
39:50I...
39:51I can't go through with this.
39:52There's no way.
39:53I just can't do it.
39:54You spineless fool!
39:56Myrtle, I...
39:57Have you forgotten
39:58how that rat Delanian plans
39:59to sell the company we built?
40:01But if I...
40:02And bargain away
40:03our hard-earned pensions
40:04in the process?
40:05Myrtle, please.
40:06Twenty-five years
40:07and he expects us
40:08to start at ground level again.
40:09At our age!
40:10If we let that takeover happen,
40:12we are dust!
40:14The man deserves
40:15what's coming to him!
40:17If you don't have
40:18the guts to do it,
40:19I will.
40:20No, no.
40:22I'll do it.
40:23Yeah.
40:39Let's do it.
41:05Mr. Delanian, KVEX News.
41:07We're here for that exclusive you promised us
41:08on the rumored takeover.
41:12It appears Miss Holder's going to trifle overboard
41:15in her zeal to bait the waters.
41:17I called the press.
41:18What?
41:19You did.
41:19Bernard, why?
41:20Mr. Delanian?
41:22Because all of this is my fault.
41:24I feel bad that both you and Mr. Steele are in danger.
41:26I'm just going to confess and get
41:28everything out in the open.
41:29I'll find a way to pay everybody back.
41:31I promise.
41:32Wait, wait, wait.
41:32Mr. Delanian, we know you're in there.
41:35You called us, remember?
41:37It's not your fault Harold was murdered, Bernard.
41:39You know that.
41:40Oh, we can't turn back now.
41:41I mean, if the press find out, they'll nail our hides.
41:43Besides, convincing them isn't going to necessarily
41:45convince the killer.
41:46He's right, Bernard.
41:47In for a penny, in for a pound.
41:49Huh.
41:50Yeah.
41:53What suite is Harold Delanian in?
41:552450.
41:562450.
42:06You're left without saying goodbye, Clarissa.
42:15Mr. Delanian.
42:21Clarissa, stall.
42:23Bernard, call security and have them removed now.
42:28Come on, Mr. Delanian.
42:30If we go back empty handed, it won't
42:32look good for your company.
42:34Just a minute, he'll be right with you.
42:43Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the press.
42:46Good afternoon.
42:49Mr. Delanian, are you coming out?
42:55No.
42:57Mr. Delanian, what do you have to say
42:58about the takeover rumors?
43:04No comment.
43:06That was an awfully long wait for a no comment,
43:09Mr. Delanian.
43:12Could you at least tell us how you
43:14feel about Milgram Industries?
43:23I hate them all.
43:26Can we quote you on that, Mr. Delanian?
43:28Mr. Delanian?
43:30Can we quote you on that, Mr. Delanian?
43:33Mr. Delanian?
43:39That's all for now.
43:43Mr. Delanian?
43:45Come on, folks, let's clear it out.
43:47Good night.
43:47Good night.
44:12I don't know how Delanian could still be alive.
44:14One thing's for sure.
44:16He won't be for long.
44:20Tell him you're here, Clarissa.
44:25I think that's Miss Holt, but it's supposed
44:31to be too long and one short.
44:34Maybe she forgot.
44:36Perhaps she's trying to tell us something.
44:39Doesn't seem to be anybody home.
44:41Try again.
44:45All right, everyone, plan B.
44:52Plan B?
44:54The stall.
44:55Come on.
45:14Come on.
45:37Mr. Delanian?
45:38No comment.
45:45Move, and you join Delanian.
45:48Come here.
45:49Get up.
45:50I knew I got him.
45:52Forensics will have no trouble matching the bullets
45:54from Delanian's body to this gun.
45:57Now, all we have to do is take you to the authorities
45:59and find out who hired you.
46:01Hold this, Bernard.
46:03Let's go.
46:14Come on.
46:45Oh!
46:46Oh!
46:49Oh, Mr. Steele, I think it's safe for you
46:52to finally take off that mustache.
46:54Pity, actually.
46:55I was beginning to think it quite suited me.
46:57Would you agree?
46:58No comment.
47:05Where have you all been?
47:06I've been worried sick.
47:08Aunt Mildred, I have a confession to make.
47:11I'm afraid our investment didn't quite
47:13come out the way we'd planned.
47:14Does that mean we'll lose everything?
47:16Aunt Mildred.
47:17Technically speaking, Mildred, Bernard
47:20has made us a great deal of money.
47:23However, due to the warm, kind, generous person that he is,
47:27he donated all our profits to the university in your name.
47:32The Mildred Krebs Endowment for the Advanced Study of Latin.
47:37Oh, you sweetheart.
47:41Your nephew's certainly something special.
47:44Didn't I tell you, huh?
47:46Mrs. Griswold, could I have a word with you just a second?
47:50Now, uh, where were we?
47:54Ah, yes, I understand now.
47:56I believe there's a quaint little island just offshore
47:59where they've never heard of paperwork or Latin.
48:01Catalina, I believe it's called.
48:03Oh, Mr. Steele, I like your style.
48:06Oh, thank you.
48:07There you go.
48:11THE END
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