Remington Steele S03E12
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00:00The one we're looking for is the one who doesn't try to kill you.
00:28Ah, that's very comforting.
00:58The one who doesn't try to kill you.
01:28Bonsoir and God bless.
01:56Great table, Pierre.
01:57And I love the, uh, the bavouf.
02:00The boufflonnette?
02:01Yeah, the meatloaf.
02:03It is always a pleasure to serve through, Gourmet.
02:06Ciao, Pierre.
02:07Locker.
02:08Locker.
02:09Locker.
02:10Locker.
02:11Locker.
02:12Locker.
02:17Locker.
02:23♪♪
02:36Lock up.
02:38♪♪
02:45♪♪
02:54Teos, you saw?
02:58I saw.
03:01Rudicio.
03:02First, Declarange impoverishes us.
03:06Then he deceives us.
03:09Whatever our differences in the past,
03:12now we must act together.
03:15There is only one answer to such deception.
03:19It will be difficult to find Larange.
03:22There are bribes, more forceful methods.
03:25It will be risky.
03:27So is the restaurant business, huh?
03:29Larange must die.
03:31Larange must die.
03:34Has it really been that long?
03:37Oh, Eloise, how could I forget a warmth
03:40as radiant as yours, eh?
03:45Ah, sorry.
03:46There seems to be a fly in the office,
03:48as you were saying.
03:52Huh?
03:53Oh, listen, Eloise,
03:55we can make up for it tomorrow night, eh?
03:58Candlelight.
04:00Your buzzer must be broken, Chief.
04:02Mildred!
04:03I'm sorry, but the client's waiting.
04:05Yes, I know, but one client at a time, please.
04:09I'm sorry, boss.
04:13Eight o'clock, my place?
04:16Okay, Eloise, thank you.
04:17Bye.
04:21Well, uh, to tell you the truth, Bill,
04:23it's been a long time since I've seen you.
04:26Well, uh, to tell you the truth, Bill,
04:28I can't quite place you.
04:31There were a lot of people there, and...
04:34Uh, uh...
04:36I do remember some idiot spilled punch on my drink.
04:39Oh, I see, yeah.
04:43No, no, I wouldn't dream of letting you pay
04:46for my cleaning, Bill.
04:48Just a minute!
04:50Uh, dinner?
04:52Tonight?
04:53Laura, the client awaits.
04:55I'm on the phone.
04:58Uh, Bill?
05:00Uh-huh, you were saying?
05:02Miss Holt, we are conducting a business.
05:04A client requires our attention.
05:07Yes, of course.
05:09I'd love to have dinner with you, Bill.
05:12Seven will be fine.
05:14Bye.
05:18Who's the lucky fellow?
05:20Bill?
05:21I met him at a party.
05:23You go to parties?
05:25Of course I go to parties.
05:27Yes, of course you do.
05:29Shall we?
05:33The client awaits.
05:35Yes, of course.
05:39Uh, my associate, Laura Holt,
05:41Phyllis Lewis, publisher of Tomorrow's Food.
05:44Please, madam, do take a seat.
05:47Miss Holt,
05:49do you know our little magazine?
05:51I couldn't help but notice
05:53the cover story last month.
05:55Fun things to do with whipped cream.
05:57Tell me, was that model wearing
05:59anything under the whipped cream?
06:01Chocolate sauce, no doubt.
06:03Miss Holt,
06:05perhaps you haven't realized
06:07we are living in a new age.
06:09You are what you eat is no longer
06:11mere nutritional advice.
06:13It's a social dictum.
06:15Snob eating?
06:17Exactly.
06:19Baked lettuce, mushrooms,
06:21fared it out by Asiatic clergy.
06:23What happened to home cooking?
06:25Oh, it's still done
06:27in the frumpier homes.
06:29This compulsion to eat
06:31fashionably, Mr. Steele,
06:33is what's brought me to you.
06:35My restaurant critic,
06:37my dictator of what restaurant
06:39is in and what restaurant
06:41is out, is missing.
06:43Dick L'Orange?
06:45You know him?
06:47over the cold, so to speak.
06:49The readers adore him.
06:51But his review for the next issue is two weeks late.
06:54We go to press in three days, Mr. Steele.
06:56If I don't find L'Orange, I'm out of business.
06:58Did you call him?
06:59He would never give us his number.
07:00Have you tried dropping by his home?
07:02He wouldn't tell us where he lives.
07:04Well, do you at least have a publicity photo of him?
07:06No, he'd never allow his photograph to be taken.
07:08He wants to keep his identity completely secret.
07:11So he won't receive any special treatment
07:13when he goes to a restaurant.
07:15Can you give us a tiny hors d'oeuvre of a lead?
07:19We pay him by money order.
07:21We forward his pay and his mail to a box at personal touch.
07:25I'll pay whatever you ask, Mr. Steele.
07:28The future of tomorrow's food is in your hands.
07:31Dick L'Orange could be sick or dead, or God forbid,
07:35he could be working for another magazine.
07:38Tell me, uh, what's his friend, uh, uh, what's-his-name, Bill?
07:42What's his last name?
07:44Smith.
07:45Now, what does this, uh, Bill Smith do for a living?
07:49He's a certified public accountant.
07:51Honorable profession.
07:53He can spend the evening counting debits.
07:56And credits.
07:57Hmm.
07:58You can spend the evening counting debits.
08:01And credits.
08:02Hmm.
08:29Don't tell me you're staying home alone tonight, Mr. Steele.
08:33As a matter of fact, I'm having dinner
08:35with a fascinating woman named Eloise.
08:37Really?
08:38Mm-hmm.
08:39She's a stockbroker.
08:40Ouch.
08:41MBA from Harvard.
08:42Oh.
08:43Whiz at the big board.
08:44I didn't realize you were so interested in the big board.
08:59Hi.
09:00I, uh, I was, um, thinking of renting a box.
09:06Here's an application.
09:08Oh, thank you.
09:14Place an ad?
09:16Oh, I think so.
09:20But I'm having trouble with the words.
09:23Tell me how this sounds.
09:28Um, sexy, seething femme.
09:33Longing for your touch.
09:35Uh, the kind of woman who knows what a man wants
09:41and is there with it before he asks.
09:49Uncle Pierre was right.
09:51It was worth the wait.
09:54Tonight, our uncle will make us his blood nurse.
10:12We found him.
10:14We found Dick Laurenge.
10:17He must be the, um, strong, silent type.
10:22I'm silent?
10:24Shh.
10:26Hello?
10:27Yeah, it's an Auburn.
10:29People stop and ask me all the time.
10:31It's a 1936 V-8, supercharged.
10:34Pretty, isn't she?
10:39Does this mean you want to take a spin
10:41or may I take the hubcaps?
10:43This is, uh, uh, a palace.
10:48A palace.
11:06Must be a black belt in karate, breakdance.
11:10I'd love to discuss Schopenhauer.
11:13My brother drives one.
11:16You are so close.
11:32What was that all about?
11:34Yes, they came out of nowhere.
11:36We must be closer to Laurenge than we think.
11:40Circulars.
11:42Invitations.
11:44Competing magazines.
11:46Yuck.
11:47What's this?
11:48Huh?
11:50Oh, seas of the month melded.
11:53Last month's.
11:55An eager reader, no return address.
11:57Forwarded from the magazine a week ago.
11:59A passionate admirer.
12:01Likewise.
12:03A true friend.
12:05Dear Dick, you must try more of my Dolce F-R.
12:09Dolce?
12:10Italian sweets, Mildred.
12:12What does passionate admirer say?
12:14I see that feta decrees more garlic, T-S.
12:17Feta?
12:18Greek cheese.
12:19The true friend, Mr. Steele?
12:21Allow me to thicken the sauce, P-F.
12:25Sounds like restauranteurs asking for a second chance.
12:29If they didn't get it...
12:31Phyllis Lewis might recognize the initials.
12:33Let me have those, Mildred.
12:35Right.
12:37Bye-bye.
12:38Now what?
12:40I checked my sources.
12:42And as far as the government agencies are concerned,
12:45Dick LaRonge wasn't born, doesn't work,
12:47wasn't in the armed services, doesn't pay taxes,
12:50and hasn't died.
12:51Because he does that under his real name.
12:54Right.
12:55But we don't know his real name.
12:57But if he's really missing, then he's always missing.
13:01If he's really missing, then he's also missing under his real name.
13:22Michael, could you please look a bit less satisfied?
13:25You know me, Phyllis.
13:26Eating is living.
13:28Mrs. Lewis.
13:29Mr. Steele.
13:30Did you detect a secret craving for junk food?
13:33We are conducting a blind hot dog tasting contest for the magazine.
13:37This is Michael Fleming, my nostalgia editor.
13:40Remington Steele.
13:41Glad you're on the case, Steele.
13:42If you don't find LaRonge, we'll all be eating on food stamps.
13:45We found these in LaRonge's post box.
13:49Mm-hmm.
13:57Ah, number one.
14:01Fair texture.
14:03A bit mushy.
14:05Fine bouquet.
14:07Touched too heavy on the biglycerin sorbate.
14:11Have a bite.
14:13No, thanks.
14:15The biglycerin sorbate has a tendency to clog my nasal passages.
14:21Do any of those initials seem familiar?
14:24Well, these Italian initials could stand for Frederico Reduccio of the Restaurantier Reduccio.
14:29No.
14:30LaRonge really knocked his gnocchi, you might say.
14:32Oh, and these Greek initials must stand for Teus Travos of the Eye of Zeus.
14:36LaRonge said his moussaka tasted like a moose made it.
14:40And P.F.?
14:41This could very well be the most volatile restaurateur in the business, Mr. Steele.
14:46Pierre Foumard of L'Ornate.
14:48Wasn't LaRonge's pan roast of L'Ornate published at the same time he disappeared?
14:53Yes, I'm afraid it was.
14:55Thank you very much indeed.
14:57Number two.
14:59Fair.
15:07Sergeant Hackett, ma'am, you want to report a missing person?
15:10Exactly.
15:11I'm looking for someone, and I'm hoping that someone has reported the person I'm looking for missing.
15:17Huh?
15:19It's not easy to explain.
15:21Well, how about starting with the name of the person you're looking for?
15:23I'm afraid I don't know that.
15:24Can you describe him?
15:26Not really.
15:27Well, let's start with an easy one.
15:29Is it a man or a woman?
15:31I'm not sure.
15:33TV bloopers and practical jokes, huh?
15:36Wait till the boys hear about this.
15:38When am I going to be on TV?
15:39Look, could you just tell me who has been reported missing the last three weeks?
15:43The last three weeks?
15:45Everyone?
15:46Every single person.
15:55What's so urgent?
15:56I think I found LaRonge.
15:57That's urgent.
16:09Pretend.
16:10Listen, what makes you think you've got the right man?
16:12It's not a man, it's a woman.
16:14She's been missing for 16 days.
16:15Three or five, here.
16:20Her name is Anna Dicks.
16:22Dick?
16:23Dicks?
16:25That's not much.
16:28She was born in Orange, New Jersey.
16:31Really?
16:3263, widowed, a grandmother.
16:34Does charity work.
16:35A terrific cook.
16:37The scourge of elite eating, eh?
16:39He tracked down her daughter.
16:41She takes her children to the best restaurants in town and she says she gets reimbursed.
16:45Really?
17:01Snap.
17:08Ah.
17:10Sweet.
17:22Good Lord!
17:37Oh!
17:38Oh!
17:39Oh, my goodness.
17:40Kitty, kitty.
17:41Oh.
17:42Wait a minute.
17:43Who's feeding the cat?
17:44Who's feeding?
17:45Kiss.
17:46Is this yours?
17:47It's fresh.
17:48It is.
17:49It's fresh.
17:50It is.
17:51It is.
17:52It is.
17:53It is.
17:54It is.
17:55It is.
17:56It is.
17:57It is.
17:58It is.
17:59It is.
18:00It is.
18:01It is.
18:02It is.
18:03It is.
18:04It is.
18:05It is.
18:06It is.
18:13Hmm.
18:15How long have you known the stockbroker?
18:20Eloise?
18:21Oh.
18:22About a month or two.
18:24You must be very close by now.
18:28Well, actually I haven't seen that much of her.
18:32Independent woman?
18:34Yes, yes.
18:36You two might have a lot in common.
18:53Tell me, what's Bill like?
18:55I don't really know him that well.
18:59Would, uh, would he and I have anything in common?
19:04Yeah.
19:06I don't think so.
19:10I get the feeling he's, um, different than you.
19:15In what way?
19:17Um, he seems more open, more in touch with his feelings.
19:25No tacky mystery about him.
19:26Ah!
19:27Ah!
19:28Ah!
19:32Nothing personal, Miss Holden.
19:51Here, princess.
19:54Here, princess.
19:59Wait.
20:00Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
20:03We're close.
20:05Oh, darnit.
20:06We're fine.
20:07We're fine.
20:08Look, sweetie.
20:12We're very close, baby.
20:13Just watch your step.
20:16Yeah.
20:17Does it hurt anymore?
20:19Mm-hmm, a little bit more.
20:21Does it hurt anymore?
20:23Uh huh.
20:24More, does it hurt any more?
20:25So much.
20:26So much.
20:27The community is safe with us.
20:29It is?
20:33Well, would you like some tea?
20:36Love it.
20:48You don't know who's trying to kill you, eh?
20:50Well, one night I thought someone had followed me home from my box at Personal Touch.
20:56And I got really frightened.
20:58I was afraid I'd ruin my cover.
21:02The next night when I arrived home, I turned the stove on.
21:05I came in back into the living room here.
21:08Picked up the groceries to take them back in and kaboom.
21:12My kitchen blew up behind me.
21:14I mean, that's all I know. I went into hiding.
21:17I didn't want to lead them to my family.
21:19Where have you been staying all this time?
21:22With a friend.
21:24At a senior citizen's home.
21:27I sneak into his room late at night.
21:30But I can't do that anymore.
21:33Oh, I need to get some sleep.
21:36Ah.
21:38Mrs. Dix, did you bring this home from Lornette?
21:43No.
21:44No, I never bring matchbooks home.
21:47I'm afraid of fires.
21:51Mm-hmm.
21:52Ooh, case closed?
21:54Case more serious.
21:56Someone's trying to kill her.
21:58Hmm, she's at Miss Holt's.
22:00Can you stay with her tonight, Mildred?
22:02Just what I need on my diet.
22:04Watchdogging a gourmet cook.
22:06Well, while you're feasting at home, Miss Holt and I will be busy pursuing our quarry at Lornette.
22:11You don't really think Fumar would have left his own matchbook at the scene of the crime?
22:15Somebody did.
22:17All right, all right.
22:19I'll have dinner there tonight, and I'll see if I can sink my teeth into something.
22:24But, Laura, we're a team. We do our best work together.
22:27So?
22:28Well, we'll, uh, what do you Americans call it?
22:31We'll, uh, we'll double date.
22:33No, no, this American calls that planned lunacy.
22:37Laura, you'll love Aloise. She'll love you.
22:40I'll love Bill, and he'll love me.
22:43Sounds like a love feast.
22:49I made some biscuits to go with the sherry.
22:52Oh, thank you, but I don't think I should have any.
22:55Well, maybe just one.
22:58Oh, I'll get it.
23:00No, no, no, it's my funeral.
23:05Debits, credits.
23:13Hi. Do you remember me now?
23:16Credits.
23:18I beg your pardon?
23:19Uh, you look much taller when I don't have punch all over my dress.
23:25Don't wait up for me.
23:36I do hope you're hungry, Aloise.
23:38You're going to one of the better restaurants in town.
23:40Marvelous. I haven't eaten a bite since you called.
23:44Oh, frantic day at the brokerage?
23:46No. I want it to fit into this dress.
23:50Oh, and you do.
23:53You certainly do, Aloise.
23:57You're being awfully gracious, Bill, about this change in plans.
24:00Not at all.
24:02One thing you'll find out about me, Laura,
24:04I like to stay open to new experiences.
24:07You may find Mr. Steele a bit, uh, unusual.
24:11Not a chance.
24:13Another thing you'll find out about me,
24:15I'm not judgmental.
24:17Oh.
24:20I am looking forward to meeting your associate.
24:23Yes, I'm looking forward to that, too.
24:27Actually, Miss Holt was rather surprised that I'm seeing a person like yourself.
24:34How did you describe me?
24:36Oh, I made it clear that you were intelligent,
24:39charming, successful.
24:42Yes, she might be a bit thirsty about that.
24:45Oh, not to worry.
24:47I'm never competitive with other women.
24:51You're not?
25:01No reservation?
25:03In that case, there will be a wait of 45 minutes to an hour.
25:06Must be slim cuisine.
25:08The patrons have wasted away to nothing.
25:1145 minutes to an hour, madame.
25:17Oh, Laura, dear. Good evening.
25:19Bill Smith. Remington Steele.
25:21Hello, Bill Smith. How do you do? Yes.
25:24Oh, Eloise Fairchild. Laura Holt.
25:27Hello. Pleasure to meet you.
25:29Problem. Despite the ravages of L'Orange,
25:31there will be at least an hour's wait.
25:33Oh, really? Oh, wow. Not when Eloise is famished, eh?
25:37What shall we do about this? Let's see. Here we go.
25:42Oh, I see you.
25:44Ah, yes, good evening. The Remington Steele party.
25:47I'm sorry we're running a little bit late.
25:49Of course. Mr. Steele, right this way.
25:53Oh, I love when a man does that, don't you?
25:55Not really.
26:01Business.
26:23Never that man to wave L'Orange with you in my face.
26:26That man. That's him.
26:29That who? That stick L'Orange.
26:32The man at the post box? Absolutely.
26:37Ah, champagne for all, yes?
26:42Tonight will be his last meal. Dessert will be on the house.
26:47Come on, Pierre. You can confide in us.
26:50You must be ready to murder this L'Orange fellow, eh?
26:54He does not faze us, monsieur.
26:56But obviously, this review has hurt your business.
26:59Not at all, madame. Our clientele dines fashionably lit.
27:04All right, Pierre. Now, let's see.
27:06For starters, why don't we have a look at this?
27:09Oh, yes.
27:12All right, Pierre. Now, let's see.
27:14For starters, why don't we have the baby clams in saffron butter...
27:18the warm lobster salad with garlic croutons and lamb's lettuce...
27:22the fricassee of tiny shrimps and scallops...
27:26and, um...
27:28the oysters in tiny, tiny beds of lettuce.
27:32Very good, sir.
27:34Perhaps the rest of us would like something else, Mr. Steele.
27:38Not I. Whatever Remy orders is fine with me.
27:42And what about you, Bill?
27:44Oh, one thing you'll learn about me, Laura, I'm flexible.
27:48Tell me, Pierre.
27:50If this L'Orange fellow were to walk in here now, would you know him?
27:54Yes, monsieur.
27:56He is so droll, so playful.
27:59His sense of humor is beyond comprehension.
28:02Really?
28:04He almost turned burgundy.
28:06But if he's the one that planted the bomb, wouldn't he be more circumspect?
28:10I think Remy's work is so exciting.
28:12Remy's work certainly is.
28:15Hmm. How is, uh, the accounting game, Bill?
28:18Well, one thing you'll learn about me, my work comes second.
28:22My real goal right now is to get in touch with myself.
28:26Having trouble with your telephone?
28:28I like a guy with a sense of humor.
28:32Hmm.
28:35Mr. Steele.
28:37Oh, what a coincidence.
28:39No, really, Phyllis asked me to track you down. She said you found L'Orange.
28:42Excuse us. Excuse us for a moment.
28:47We have found L'Orange, but he can't come out of hiding yet.
28:50Why not? We need his reviews.
28:52Someone is trying to kill him.
28:54As soon as we catch the killer, L'Orange can go out and eat again, okay?
28:57Tell Phyllis we're taking good care of L'Orange.
29:00Yes, all right.
29:03Might as well have some dinner.
29:05Uh, can I get something plain?
29:08Whatever, monsieur wishes.
29:12Green pasta with the red sauce. Uh, the black pasta with the white sauce.
29:15Uh, the white pasta with the black sauce.
29:17And the green pasta with the black sauce.
29:20Ah!
29:22Oh, dear, oh, dear. I am so sorry, madame. I will get the towel.
29:25Oh, no, no, don't bother. Where is the ladies' room?
29:27Allow me.
29:32What rotten bad luck.
29:34Oh, dear.
29:40Excusez-moi. Does one of you own a red Dotson Z?
29:44Hmm. I do.
29:46I am afraid there has been a little accident in the park of...
29:54Good-looking fellow.
29:57Beautiful girl.
30:00Excuse me, sir. The lady asked if you would join her.
30:03Oh, certainly. Excuse me.
30:08And, uh, what do you think of our humble cuisine tonight, monsieur?
30:12Oh, yes, Pierre. The food is excellent.
30:15Everything I've tasted is superb.
30:17Perhaps you would care to convey your compliment in person.
30:20Yes, I'd, uh... I'd love to talk to the chef. Why not?
30:23Follow me, monsieur.
30:25Certainly.
30:30This is our chef.
30:32Oh, I just wanted...
30:34I just wanted to say the food was superb.
30:38Really superb. Everything was very, very tasty.
30:41Keep up the good work for us, okay?
30:43Prepare to meet your maker, monsieur L'Orange.
30:47L'Orange?
30:49And now we draw the curtain on your nasty little comedy.
30:53I think you're making a little mistake. In fact, we're both making a mistake.
30:56You see, I thought you... Well, never mind about that.
30:59But the fact is that I'm not Dick L'Orange, really. I'm Remington Steele.
31:03No pesty moves.
31:05I knew when we found you, you would try to weasel out of it like a rat.
31:09Did anyone ever tell you about mixing your metaphors?
31:12Or, uh, your petty force, for that matter?
31:15Die, L'Orange!
31:27L'Orange!
31:41Ah! Easy! Easy, huh?
31:49Ow!
31:53Whoa!
31:55Whoa!
32:13Ah!
32:15You sure everything's under control?
32:17Oh, yes. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.
32:21Ah! We're just leaving.
32:23Uh, my pasta.
32:25Yes, terribly overcooked. Come on, girls. Yes, I know.
32:27I had a terrible, terrible thing.
32:29Are you all right?
32:41You asking for your shares when the spine is still free?
32:44We handed them to you on the silver platter.
32:46Is it our fault he cannot carve?
32:48Is it our fault he cannot carve?
32:50Don't bother me now.
32:52I must consult my colleagues.
32:56Excuse me.
32:58Could I have some more wine?
33:00Certainly.
33:07Can we talk?
33:09Talk? Talk to you?
33:11After what you have done?
33:15Why are you trying to kill Dick L'Orange?
33:17You dare to ask me that?
33:19You who took my money and Stavros' money
33:22and Radicchio's to write bad reviews of other restaurants?
33:25And did you do it?
33:27No, you did not.
33:29And what of Recherche, huh?
33:31Recherche? Oh, now you choose to be dumb.
33:34We pay you for a bad review of Restaurant Recherche,
33:36and once again you do not deliver.
33:38And you can ask why we are going to kill you.
33:41Hmm. I've done all that, have I?
33:45There are no words to describe you.
33:48And you will pay.
33:50I can promise you.
33:52You will pay.
33:57Well, I must admit, I'm not a nice person, am I?
34:14Thanks for a lovely evening, Bill,
34:16and for dropping off Eloise.
34:18Don't leave me, Laura.
34:20I have a problem with rejection.
34:23Bill, I'm not rejecting you.
34:26I've got a case to pursue.
34:28My wife rejected me.
34:31She walked out on me.
34:34It, um...
34:36It was devastating.
34:38It must have been awful.
34:40I still haven't worked through all my feelings.
34:43Shock and confusion.
34:46How long ago did she leave you?
34:491978.
34:55It takes time, Bill, but you'll get over it.
35:01Good night.
35:03Yeah.
35:13Good night.
35:34Oh, hi.
35:36How's your date?
35:38Fine, fine. Is Mr. Steele here yet?
35:40No.
35:42Fine.
35:44Where's Mrs. Dix?
35:46She's asleep.
35:48Would you wake her up, please, Mildred?
35:50This time of night?
35:52Mm-hmm. We have to talk to her now.
35:55You have a good time with Bill?
35:57Oh, absolutely.
35:59I was sorry I had to cut it short.
36:01Oh, a pity.
36:03You might have found out more about him.
36:05Good time with Eloise?
36:07Oh, I certainly did, yes.
36:09Oh, yeah, she's all woman.
36:11Really?
36:13Mm-hmm.
36:15Do you think we should have left Uncle Pierre?
36:17Our new employer made us partners.
36:19Uncle Pierre only gave us promises.
36:21That's true.
36:24You are Holt, 3A.
36:26And we must steal a grandmother for our new partner.
36:29Restaurant business is very tough.
36:34What are you talking about?
36:36They say that you took money from restauranteurs...
36:39to write nasty reviews about their competitors.
36:43That is a blasphemy, young man, and a dirty lie.
36:46I never took a penny from those thieves who run the restaurants.
36:49I didn't even let them know who I was...
36:51so they couldn't ooze their slimy charm in my direction.
36:54They say you took money from all of them...
36:56to write a bad review about a new place called Rue Chaché...
36:59and not only that, but that you double-crossed them...
37:01and then didn't even write about it.
37:03That is absurd.
37:05I wrote a bad review of the Rue Chaché last month.
37:07They can't even make a decent chicken pot pie.
37:10But the magazine didn't run the review.
37:13I thought Phyllis ran out of space and would run it this month.
37:19If you're not taking bribes...
37:21why is it that you've attacked every restaurant that you've visited?
37:24Because this city and every other one...
37:27is full of robbers and incompetents...
37:29passing themselves off as chefs and restauranteurs.
37:34I'll get it.
37:36I'll get it.
37:38It's the emperor's new cuisine.
37:40I am on a crusade to clean up the deceit...
37:43the extravagant overcharging...
37:45the ill-treatment of the customers...
37:47the society that thinks food is good...
37:49if the color of the tablecloth is all coral.
37:55You're the Ralph Nader of Quiche Lorraine.
37:58Well put, young lady.
38:01Mildred?
38:03Mildred?
38:06Mildred?
38:10Mildred?
38:12Keep the door locked.
38:18Stop struggling, Grandma!
38:20Grandma?
38:37No!
38:43Why are they taking Mildred?
38:45Hang on!
39:06No!
39:29Let go, you fool!
39:32Here she is, partner...
39:34my grandmother.
39:36As ordered.
39:37Now you can see how good we are, partner.
39:39No!
39:40I want an explanation of what's going on here...
39:42or someone's going to pay through the nose.
39:44That's the wrong woman.
39:46You see? I told you.
39:48No, this is the right grandmother.
39:50She's a wrong woman. Get rid of her, dunces.
39:52I am not leaving until you tell me what's going on.
39:55Out!
39:56I am not going until I get an explanation.
39:59Be quiet!
40:00You should have told us you were the wrong grandmother.
40:04Out!
40:12Out!
40:22What happened?
40:23They threw me out!
40:25What?
40:26Some man I couldn't see said I was the wrong person.
40:29I mean, it's bad enough to be kidnapped...
40:31but to be returned?
40:35No!
40:46They were out to kidnap somebody's grandmother.
40:49Mrs. Dix?
40:50I'm 42, for gosh sakes.
40:54Or thereabout.
40:56I can't take much more of this, boss.
40:58Everywhere I go, people are snatching me.
41:00I mean, I love my job...
41:02but why am I so popular?
41:05I'm going to have to come to work with a travel bag.
41:11If we believe Mrs. Dix...
41:13And we do.
41:15Someone else is pretending to be La Ronge...
41:17and soliciting bribes from the restauranteurs.
41:20The same someone who tried to blow up Mrs. Dix.
41:23And had me kidnapped by mistake.
41:25Perhaps. Perhaps not.
41:28Mildred can identify his voice.
41:30The thin man.
41:31William Powell, Myrna Loy, MGM, 1934.
41:34Nick and Nora invite all the suspects to a dinner party...
41:36and then serve up the killer as the main course.
41:39Dick La Ronge can host a gourmet dinner...
41:42to apologize to the restaurant business.
41:44We can't endanger Mrs. Dix.
41:46Of course not.
41:47Mr. Steele will be the irascible Dick La Ronge.
41:50Laura, these people are ready to kill me...
41:52because they think I'm La Ronge.
41:54All but one.
41:55True, true.
41:57The criminal knows Mrs. Dix is Dick La Ronge.
42:01The one we're looking for is the one who doesn't try to kill you.
42:06That's very comforting. Very comforting.
42:19The festivities begin, ladies. Mildred, mind the carpet.
42:28La Ronge.
42:33Lovely apartment.
42:34Oh, thank you very much.
42:35Handsomely furnished.
42:38I am first?
42:39Yes, I believe you are.
42:41You are a gourmand for punishment.
42:49Good evening. Come in.
42:50Evening.
42:57My special vintage, La Ronge.
42:59For you alone.
43:01Oh, grazie, Raticio.
43:03Yes.
43:05No doubt I will be transported.
43:09Grazie.
43:15Well?
43:16Oh.
43:21Good evening.
43:22What's the occasion?
43:24You two are going to help us cook someone's goose.
43:27I hope we're not using any rich sauces.
43:30This way.
43:34Gentlemen, I'd like to ask you a few questions.
43:36Let me ask you a question.
43:38Is this Iranian caviar?
43:40A $25 an ounce.
43:42It's from Iceland.
43:44San Diego.
43:50Good goose takes time.
43:55Dinner is served.
43:56Ah.
44:06Fumar tries to threaten me.
44:08Lucio brings me a wine of, uh, doubtful vintage.
44:11What about the Greek?
44:13He keeps winking at me.
44:15Any of those restauranteurs' voices sound familiar, Mildred?
44:18The Greek. The timber's the same.
44:20And that accent's phonier than a plastic grape leaf.
44:23Let's see just how Greek he really is.
44:25What do you suggest I do?
44:27You're the Continental.
44:29Yes. Thank you.
44:35Please, ladies and gentlemen, uh, do be seated.
44:37Yes. Thank you.
44:41You haven't tried my wine, Larange.
44:43Remember the old Greek proverb?
44:45He who mixes the wines of the gods.
44:50Yes.
44:51Salads to clear the palate.
44:53Bib lettuce, lamb lettuce, and arugula.
44:56Whatever happened to plain old iceberg?
45:00Ooh!
45:02Oh, I'm so sorry.
45:04Oh, my apologies, sir.
45:06She's new on the job.
45:13That's him. The voice.
45:15The pudgy one with the mustache.
45:17Are you sure?
45:18Positive.
45:19But he doesn't even own a restaurant.
45:22Or does he?
45:24Exactly what kind of Greek are you, Stavros?
45:27You dare to insult me.
45:29What M. Larange is asking...
45:32is exactly what man at this table...
45:34could have sent letters to you restauranteurs...
45:37in M. Larange's name, asking for bribes...
45:40and then intercepted those bribes.
45:42Exactly.
45:44What man could have read each column...
45:46when it arrived at the magazine...
45:48two weeks prior to publication...
45:50learned what restaurants Larange panned...
45:52and then contacted their competitors...
45:54to demand bribes to write what he knew...
45:56had already been written?
45:58Mrs. Lewis, why didn't you run M. Larange...
46:00a savage pan of recherche?
46:02I never got the copy.
46:04In fact, I had to fill in with an article...
46:06on 50 ways to use Hollandaise sauce.
46:09And who would have reason to divert...
46:11a savage pan of recherche?
46:13When I check the tax records tomorrow...
46:16I'm sure I'll find the answer to that.
46:19Okay, I do own a recherche.
46:21But you can't prove I did anything.
46:23You had me kidnapped, Buster.
46:25That's your proof, Fleming.
46:29All right.
46:31Maybe I did take a few bribes.
46:33I could make a living at that magazine.
46:35Hot dogs.
46:37She had me rating hot dogs.
46:39Michael, I thought you loved weenies.
46:41You bought your restaurant with the money you made...
46:43in bribes from other restauranteurs.
46:45I opened the best place in town.
46:47Honest name.
46:49Good plain food.
46:50Big portions.
46:52Then that Larange gave me a bad review.
46:54And the only way to turn it into a rave review...
46:56under Larange's byline...
46:58was to kill Larange and step into his shoes...
47:00and make plain food fashionable again.
47:07A message from all the grandmothers in the world.
47:10Next time, watch out who you snatch.
47:16Ah, Miss Holt. Hi.
47:18Hello.
47:20Hello. Good evening.
47:24There's enough food left over from last night...
47:26to feed a gourmet army.
47:28Where's Eloise?
47:30Uh, the truth?
47:32Why not?
47:34I know this was meant to be a make-out dinner...
47:36for Bill and Eloise.
47:38She's very sweet, very willing, easy to please.
47:40But takes the fun out of it, you know.
47:43Bill parking his Z?
47:45Uh, I didn't invite him.
47:48Oh, why not?
47:50Well, I learned one thing about Bill.
47:53He, uh...
47:55he lacks something.
47:57Huh?
47:59Tacky mystery.
48:01Huh.
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