Frasier Season 8 Episode 11 Motor Skills
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00:00Oh, Chelsea, you are in for a rare treat tonight.
00:04The first opera.
00:06And Ben Heppner is singing the role of Tristan.
00:10Oh, this is going to be a whole new experience for me.
00:14Why? You've never been bored before.
00:20Oh, dear.
00:22The car seems to have stalled.
00:26Oh, great! Now what?
00:29All right, let's not panic.
00:31Chelsea, if you would please open the glove compartment.
00:35You will find a flashlight and a small tool kit.
00:39Ah.
00:40Reach behind them and hand me my cell phone.
00:45I'm going to call the auto club.
00:47By the time they get here, we'll miss the opera.
00:50You know, my ex-boyfriend used to restore Corvettes.
00:53Maybe I can poke around and take a look.
00:55I suppose I could give you a hand.
00:57You don't grow up with eight brothers and not learn a thing or two about engines.
01:01Or the importance of being first in the shower.
01:05Now, now, ladies. Niles and I are no strangers to the automobile.
01:10Niles, let's have a look. I'll pop the hood.
01:13That won't void the warranty, will it?
01:17Oh, that's it. Very funny, Niles.
01:21No cause for alarm, ladies.
01:23Here we go.
01:28Hey, Eddie.
01:30This is my boy, Eddie.
01:32This is my other boy, Frasier.
01:35Oh, dear God.
01:37Dad, you know very well we have no room in this house for another dog, let alone a puppy.
01:41They chew the furniture, they dig like demons, and they soil the carpet.
01:46I don't care.
01:48I don't care.
01:49I don't care.
01:50I don't care.
01:51I don't care.
01:52I don't care.
01:53They chew the furniture, they dig like demons, and they soil the carpet.
01:57The puppy's mine, Frasier.
01:59Oh, well, congratulations. Everybody should have one.
02:04Alice just begged me for one.
02:06Martin, thank you so much for helping me pick him out.
02:09Are you kidding? I had a blast.
02:11Now, this is Eddie's old puppy collar.
02:18And his brush.
02:20And his first chew toy.
02:22Oh, Martin.
02:24I can't believe you kept all this thing.
02:27Well, I always thought I'd have a brother or two.
02:30You know, I always think you're going to have one more.
02:33Dad, I said you could have a fish.
02:36Rose, would you help me here, please?
02:42You know, Martin, I could use someone to help me walk him while I'm at work.
02:46You could be like his grandpa.
02:48That'd be great.
02:49You know, he looks kind of thirsty, Rose.
02:51You might want to get him some water.
02:53Oh, that's a good idea.
02:56Oh, look, a puppy.
03:00Oh, hello, Niles.
03:01Hello, Frasier.
03:02Took me half the morning, but I finally found it.
03:04Good.
03:05Found what?
03:06A night school catalog.
03:07Oh.
03:08What classes are you guys looking for?
03:10Auto repair.
03:11Yeah.
03:14No, seriously.
03:15No, no. Well, we are serious, Dad.
03:18Niles and I felt completely helpless last night when my car broke down.
03:21And I vowed never to be humiliated that way again.
03:24You know, I'm more than a little convinced that that's why Chelsea turned me down for a second date.
03:29I'm sure that had nothing to do with it.
03:31If I had to guess, I'd say it was all that blubbering at the opera that killed your chances.
03:38It was Ben Heppner singing Tristan.
03:42Have to be stoned not to weep at his tragic end.
03:46Hey, hey. Haven't seen it yet.
03:51Here we are. Basic car repair and maintenance.
03:57I will call the bursar at once.
04:00You guys are really going to do this?
04:02Mm-hmm.
04:03Monkey around with engines, get calluses and grease under your nails?
04:07Yes, actually, I'm looking forward to it, Dad.
04:09Oh, good for you, Frasier. I'm impressed.
04:12As the enigma we call Shakespeare once wrote,
04:15I am a true laborer.
04:18I earn that I eat, get that I wear.
04:21Oh, no man hate, envy no man's happiness.
04:26You just couldn't let me enjoy it, could you?
04:35Hey, Roz.
04:37Hey, Grandpa. How was the little critter today?
04:40Oh, terrific.
04:43Ate all this chow.
04:45At least you did after I added some water.
04:47Give it a kind of gravy texture.
04:50We took a walk in the park.
04:53Now they're only young ones, Roz.
04:57Savor the days.
04:59You had a big day today, didn't you?
05:04Didn't you?
05:09Roz.
05:10What?
05:11You shouldn't play with him that way.
05:13Why not?
05:14If you let him stand on you, it makes him think he's dominant,
05:17that you're below him in the pack.
05:19Oh, I didn't know that.
05:21Don't worry.
05:23It's a common mistake.
05:25That's why I'm here.
05:30So, uh, you just gonna let him sit on the couch like that?
05:35Yeah, he looks cute.
05:38All right.
05:39But, you know, if you let him sit on the furniture,
05:41he's gonna think he's equal to you.
05:43I've seen Eddie sitting on the furniture.
05:47You don't really want to compare this puppy to Eddie now, do you?
05:53All I'm saying is, Eddie breaks those rules.
05:57And Hank Aaron held his bat all wrong.
06:00The great ones have always broken the rules.
06:04I learned the fundamentals, and that's what I'm trying to teach Frankie.
06:08Frankie?
06:10You named my dog?
06:12Well, he's gotta have a name to respond to,
06:14and you were taking a long time coming up with one.
06:17Well, Alice picked one last night.
06:19Ariel.
06:20From The Little Mermaid.
06:24Ariel?
06:26That's a girl's name.
06:27I know, but she likes it, so we're going to stick with it.
06:31Well, all right.
06:33I didn't screw the dog up too much.
06:36What?
06:37Nothing.
06:39I better be heading home.
06:41Wait, I'll walk with you.
06:42I'm gonna take Ariel with me to pick up Alice at preschool.
06:45Where'd he go?
06:47He's in the bedroom.
06:49Ariel?
06:50Ariel?
06:52Oh, shoot, I'm gonna be late.
06:53Ariel?
06:55Frankie?
07:03Not one word.
07:15Feels good to be back in class again, doesn't it?
07:17It's fantastic.
07:20You know, I'm almost jealous of whomever gets to sit here during the day
07:25and make learning his full-time occupation.
07:29Well, judging from the carving on your desk, it looks like his name is Ozzie.
07:36Yes, and apparently he rules.
07:41All right, everybody.
07:42My name is Randy, and if you'll take your seats, we'll get started.
07:46We're already seated, Randy.
07:50Welcome to Basic Car Repair and Maintenance.
07:54This is gonna be a real simple, low-stress class
07:57for people who don't know much about cars.
08:00Yeah?
08:02What if you don't know anything about cars?
08:04I mean, absolutely nothing.
08:06Well, then, Randy, if I may.
08:14On behalf of the entire class,
08:17on behalf of the class,
08:19I would like to say that I feel that we're all a bit anxious.
08:23But with Randy as our driver
08:26and desire as our gasoline,
08:29we will complete this journey together.
08:35To paraphrase our famous little engine,
08:39I think we can.
08:58Anyway, let's start with the basics.
09:01A car burns gasoline to create small, carefully timed explosions
09:07whose energy is converted by the engine into forward motion.
09:12I'll show you how that happens.
09:14So, the engine is just like the timpani,
09:19the way it drives the orchestra forward.
09:24The conductor drives the orchestra, not the timpani.
09:27The conductor guides the orchestra.
09:30He's more like the steering wheel.
09:32The actual driving forward, the driving forward,
09:35is actually executed by the percussion section.
09:40Sounds like someone needs to take a class in orchestras rather than automobiles.
09:46Which links the crankshaft to the camshaft
09:51so that the valves are in sync with the pistons.
09:54Oh.
09:55Now, as you can imagine, the tolerance is...
09:58every component of the cylinder.
10:02What's a camshaft?
10:03I don't know. You were talking.
10:06Timing's off. Even just a little, you get a bad...
10:09Oh, all right. Here it is.
10:11The camshaft is the system that opens and closes the valves.
10:14Oh, so it's this thing.
10:16Oh, right, right. Good. Got it.
10:18That was close. We almost got behind him.
10:21Let's not let that happen again.
10:23Agreed.
10:24And if you only take one thing away from this course, that should be it.
10:30Okay, moving on.
10:38So, if you're finished changing this spark plug,
10:40you're free to leave, and I'll see you next week.
10:47It's down to us and Shirley.
10:50I did it. I did it!
10:53Good job, Shirley.
10:55I did it. I did it!
10:58Good job, Shirley.
11:03All right, all right. Perseverance, Frasier. We'll get this.
11:06Right. Oh, would you take off those stupid goggles?
11:10Look, I'm sorry. It's for safety.
11:12Nobody else wore them.
11:14No one else wore them in gym class either,
11:16but then Tommy Fritz scratched his cornea, and then they were mandatory.
11:19Give me that French.
11:21Give me that French.
11:26I'm telling you, I'm telling you, it's on too tight right here.
11:29I'll just try to loosen it up.
11:32Whoa! Whoa!
11:34Remember, spark plugs come out with a simple twist and pull.
11:38Twist and pull.
11:40Give it a try.
11:47Okay, that's called stripping it.
11:50Stripping it.
11:53Wow. Good job, Frasier. Here, let me strip one for you.
11:55No, no.
11:58Stripping it means breaking it.
12:01Watch me.
12:10So you twist and then pull.
12:17You see, I was twisting and pulling simultaneously,
12:20as per your instructions, twist and pull.
12:24In the future, the phrase twist then pull might help.
12:32Look, fellas, maybe that's enough for one night,
12:36but why don't you come in a little early next week,
12:38and I'll try to get you caught up to everyone else.
12:41I've got a feeling you guys are going to be my special project.
12:47What?
12:51Did you hear that, Frasier?
12:54We've come in for tutoring.
12:57We've become remedial students.
13:02I know. It's humiliating.
13:06I thought we signed up for this class to avoid humiliation.
13:11I guess we're just going to have to roll up our shirt sleeves
13:16and see it through for the next eight weeks.
13:20Of course we will.
13:24Although, I'm listening.
13:30What do we actually accomplish by learning to change our own spark plugs?
13:35Oh, yes, of course, we acquire a new skill,
13:38but aren't we taking a job away from a qualified mechanic?
13:44Someone who may have a family to support.
13:47Not to mention all the merchants who depend on his disposable income for their livelihoods.
13:52Yes, the human toll begins to mount.
13:54Society decays.
13:55Not if I have anything to say about it, Niles. I'm quitting.
14:00And if you care one jot about civilization, you'll quit too.
14:04Our duty is clear. Do we have time for gelato?
14:06I think so, yes.
14:14There's my burly mechanic.
14:17Hello, Daphne.
14:19Your ears must have been burning tonight.
14:21I've been bragging about you on the phone to my mum.
14:26I know I said you didn't have to take this auto class,
14:29but I rather like the idea of my man being able to rescue me by the roadside.
14:34You do?
14:35Yeah, it just shows me how much you care.
14:42Well, um, next week we're flushing radiators.
14:50Niles!
14:56Hey, Mr. Goodbranch.
15:03Recognize this?
15:04No.
15:05Well, it's your grandpa's old toolbox. He gave it to me when I was 18.
15:11Oh, I think you're ready for it now.
15:19Well, thanks, Dad, but, uh...
15:23I know it sounds kind of corny, but it meant a lot to me when my father gave that to me.
15:28Every time I use it, I think of him.
15:31Maybe every time you use it in class, you'll think of your old man and how proud he is.
15:37Oh, gosh, Dad, I don't know what to say.
15:40Maybe someday you'll pass it on to your son.
15:44But first, maybe I'll remove the topless playing cards.
15:52Your grandpa loved the nudies.
16:02Yes, Martin, I'll be home in time to feed the puppy.
16:08I said I would be home.
16:11Okay, bye-bye.
16:14Your dad is driving me nuts about this dog.
16:18Ross, do you mind? We're trying to study.
16:21Wow, that reminds me of college.
16:24Staying up all night before a big exam and wishing I'd studied.
16:30Yes, as much as we'd love to relive those four months with you, our class begins shortly.
16:36I'm trying to learn last week's material.
16:39Frasier, it's useless, it's pointless, it's boring, and really, who cares?
16:46Wow, it sounds like you guys should just quit.
16:49If only we could, Ross.
16:52It's just that Dad and Dad are the worst.
16:56If only we could, Ross.
16:58It's just that Dad and Daphne are so proud of us, we can't let them down.
17:02They've already bought mahogany frames so they can showcase our certificates of completion.
17:07So complete it. I mean, that doesn't mean you have to ace it.
17:11Just sit there and nod your head a few times and you're home free.
17:16Are you suggesting we...
17:19...coast?
17:25We have never walked the back alleys of underachievement before.
17:33Dare we?
17:47Oh, I felt a chill.
17:56Come on, Eddie, get in on this.
18:01Oh, what, are you two grown up for the sock game?
18:06Come in.
18:07Hey, Mark.
18:10What the hell is going on?
18:13Well, you were late, so I brought Frankie here.
18:16His name is Ariel, and I was 15 minutes late.
18:20Well, that's almost two hours in doggy minutes.
18:25Plus, you didn't put the top back on his worm medicine.
18:29Plus, the water in his dish got dusty.
18:32You know, Ross, I don't think the setup is working out too well.
18:35I'll say.
18:36So I was thinking it might be best if he lived here with me for a while.
18:39What?
18:40Just until he grows up a little bit.
18:42You know, they need a lot of attention at this age.
18:45I asked you to help me, Martin, not take over.
18:48You're acting like my mother.
18:50You hear how she talks to me.
18:53After all I've done for her, and this is the thanks I get.
18:57Give him to me.
18:58Ross, I don't think you're in the right frame of mind.
19:00Give him to me.
19:01No.
19:03Well, I'm leaving here with a dog one way or another.
19:07You wouldn't.
19:08Try me.
19:09No, wait.
19:15You first.
19:30You're not holding him right.
19:32Damn it, Martin.
19:34Just because I'm not raising him your way doesn't mean I'm raising him the wrong way.
19:37So butt out.
19:40All right.
19:43Can I at least come and visit him once in a while?
19:47You think you can do it without criticizing me?
19:50Yeah, I promise.
19:53Okay.
19:55You can come visit.
19:58Bye, Frankie.
20:00Martin.
20:02Ariel.
20:05See you later, Martin.
20:13Hey.
20:15That's my boy.
20:17Yes.
20:19Come on.
20:25The brake pedal feels a little mushy.
20:29What is the possible cause?
20:32Let's get someone new this time.
20:35How about Frazier?
20:39What?
20:47What would cause a mushy feeling in the brakes?
20:58I don't know.
21:01I don't know.
21:05I don't know.
21:09Niles?
21:11Uh, mush.
21:17It's caused by a leak in the brake line.
21:20Good, Shirley.
21:21Did everybody hear that?
21:23Her voice was kind of muffled.
21:26What were their lips being pressed up against Randy's butt?
21:34Guys, this is the last time I'm going to tell you.
21:37Keep it down, okay?
21:40A leak in the brake line is certainly a possible cause.
21:45Another culprit might be the wheel cylinder.
21:49If the caps are brittle and cracked, you can develop a leak there, too.
21:54Either case, the hydraulics...
21:59Oh.
22:02Is that a funny note there?
22:05I enjoy funny things.
22:07Why don't I share it with the class?
22:14Does anybody here read French?
22:29Anyone besides Frazier?
22:40Let me see you guys out in the hall.
22:43Busted.
22:44And bring your books and tools.
22:47Out of here.
22:49Uh-oh.
22:50We're in trouble now.
22:54We're not in trouble.
22:56We are trouble.
23:06Please, please don't throw us out.
23:08We'll shut up, we promise.
23:10You've promised that four times tonight.
23:12Sorry, you're gone.
23:14But what are we going to tell our dad?
23:16And my girlfriend.
23:18Maybe you should have thought of that before you started goofing off.
23:22Okay, okay.
23:23So, uh, how's this work, Randy?
23:25You mail us our certificates of completion or what?
23:29Yeah.
23:30Um, let me go get a pen and paper for your addresses.
23:33All righty.
23:34I will.
23:53I'm starting to think he's not coming back.
24:01Not only did we stink at auto class, we stunk at coasting through auto class.
24:07We became back row hooligans, Niles.
24:12The very students we hated back in school.
24:15I always thought they were just mean.
24:18Now I realize they were simply acting out of frustration.
24:22So when Billy Creasel tried to stuff you into your locker after math class,
24:28he wasn't really mad at you.
24:30He was mad at Pythagoras.
24:35Which is ironic because a simple volume equation would have shown him I couldn't fit.
24:43You know, we never should have lied to Dad and Daphne.
24:47If we wanted to quit, we should have just quit.
24:51Yes, it would have saved us a lot of embarrassment.
24:54Well, that's the lesson here.
24:56Never deny your true nature.
24:59That's right.
25:01Honesty.
25:04This certificate look official enough?
25:08I think you finally got it.
25:10Two, please.
25:18Hey baby, I hear the blues are calling
25:22Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:25Oh my
25:27And maybe I seem a bit confused
25:30Well, maybe
25:32But I got you pegged
25:36But I don't know what to do
25:38With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
25:43They're calling again
25:47Thank you!