Mr. Billion (1977)

Super Cult Cinema
Super Cult Cinema
  • 2 months ago
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Transcript
00:00:00May I introduce, ladies and gentlemen, the founder and chairman of the board of the Falcon
00:00:15Finance Company, Anthony Falcon.
00:00:22Friends, on this wonderful day, I am most happy to dedicate this new building.
00:00:42I pledge that we will continue to operate under the same principles with which I founded
00:00:50this company 50 years ago.
00:01:05I, Antonio Falcon, being of sound mind and body, do hereby render my last will and testament.
00:01:17I instruct that my entire estate and affairs, both personal and corporate, be given to Mr.
00:01:25Guido Falcone, my sole surviving blood relation, now living in Monteporcio, Italy, who never
00:01:52asked me for anything but a pair of American cowboy boots.
00:01:55Guido Falcone.
00:02:22Better than Steve McQueen, eh?
00:02:48Guido, the lady has been waiting for you for half an hour.
00:02:51Do you want to give her the keys?
00:02:53Excuse me.
00:02:54I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
00:02:58Steve McQueen.
00:03:51Steve McQueen.
00:04:22Steve McQueen.
00:04:25Steve McQueen.
00:04:52Guido!
00:04:53Ciao, Guido!
00:04:54Ciao!
00:04:55Ciao!
00:05:26Guido!
00:05:29Guido!
00:05:32Guido!
00:05:35Guido!
00:05:38Guido!
00:05:41Guido!
00:05:45Guido!
00:05:48Guido!
00:05:51Guido!
00:05:54Guido!
00:05:58Guido Falcone.
00:06:00Guido Falcone.
00:06:02Guido Falcone.
00:06:04Guido Falcone.
00:06:06Guido Falcone.
00:06:08Guido Falcone.
00:06:10Guido Falcone.
00:06:12Guido Falcone.
00:06:14Guido Falcone.
00:06:16Guido Falcone.
00:06:18Guido Falcone.
00:06:20Guido Falcone.
00:06:22Guido Falcone.
00:06:24He doesn't find Guido Falcone.
00:06:26He is going to be in a lot of trouble.
00:06:29Guido Falcone.
00:06:31Guido Falcone.
00:06:33Guido Falcone.
00:06:35Guido Falcone.
00:06:37Guido Falcone.
00:06:39Guido, that's the finest pair of cowboy boots I have ever seen.
00:06:44Guido Falcone.
00:06:46Guido Falcone.
00:06:48Guido Falcone.
00:06:50Guido Falcone.
00:06:53We say we may sit down.
00:06:55Tell him that I am Mr. Cutler.
00:06:58And I've come all the way from the United States just to see him.
00:07:07Now, tell him about the money.
00:07:23Posso invitare a cena?
00:07:25Huh?
00:07:27We say we are invited at the dinner.
00:07:37I don't understand these people.
00:07:39You offer him a billion dollars and all he wants to do is eat?
00:07:42I'm sorry, but I don't think it's funny to kid me around about my uncle dying and giving me a fortune.
00:07:48Well, excuse me, but don't you realize you're...
00:07:51He speaks English.
00:07:53Uh, let me try to explain this to you, Guido.
00:07:57From now on, you'll never want for money.
00:08:00You can have anything your heart delights.
00:08:03You can go to America.
00:08:05America?
00:08:06Vai in America!
00:08:08Yeah! I'm going to America!
00:08:10Vai in America!
00:08:13It's kind of easy for you to push him.
00:08:15Vino! Vino!
00:08:17Vino!
00:08:22Can you imagine being in America?
00:08:25Yeah.
00:08:29By the way, I forgot to compliment you on how well you speak English.
00:08:33How did you learn?
00:08:34John Wayne.
00:08:35Oh, uh, John Wayne was here?
00:08:37No, no, he means he learned to speak English from watching American movies, right, Guido?
00:08:52Ah, okay.
00:09:05Vodka, whiskey.
00:09:13Thanks, partner.
00:09:22Stick him up, dude.
00:09:24He's down and big enough for the Boaras.
00:09:52Ah!
00:09:54Oh!
00:10:02Pop, pop, pop!
00:10:04Ah!
00:10:06Oh!
00:10:08Oh, fuck.
00:10:10Ah!
00:10:12Ah!
00:10:14Ah!
00:10:17Ah!
00:10:22Mamma mia.
00:10:24Mamma mia.
00:10:26Sangue.
00:10:34Adio, Guido.
00:10:36Adio.
00:10:38Ah!
00:10:45Veramente, bueno, verdad?
00:10:46Si.
00:10:47Ma tornarai?
00:10:48Eh, non lo so.
00:10:50Ma certo che torno.
00:10:52Vieni, Dame tesoro, vieni.
00:11:09S.T.A.R.S.
00:11:15Hey!
00:11:22How many, Guido?
00:11:24Now?
00:11:26Guido, you must realize that if I've come all the way from San Francisco to see you personally,
00:11:32it must be pretty important business.
00:11:36You have become the major stockholder in a multibillion-dollar financial conglomerate.
00:11:42You have thousands of people working for you, depending on you,
00:11:45so you know you're going to need a lot of help and advice.
00:11:48Now, if you'll just sign this power of attorney agreement,
00:11:51that will transfer the business and your stock over to me,
00:11:54and in return, I will see that you get an income of $250,000 a year, tax-free.
00:12:00I had a similar agreement with your Uncle Antonio,
00:12:03saved him a lot of tedious paperwork and that sort of thing.
00:12:10Well, me and my dictionary will read it together.
00:12:13Please, my friends, be happy.
00:12:15As you Americans say, dig in.
00:12:31I know that your uncle's funeral must be an emotional experience,
00:12:35but I got a plane to catch.
00:12:37You want to talk about the agreement you gave me?
00:12:39Yes. What did you think of it?
00:12:41Very long. Why, they finished the first page.
00:12:44There are 30 pages.
00:12:4631 pages.
00:12:48Look, I know your uncle wanted you to sign it for me to take over the business.
00:12:52Then why didn't my uncle sign it?
00:12:55Your uncle wanted you to sign it for me to take over the business.
00:12:58Then why didn't my uncle leave you the business?
00:13:01I have a copy of the agreement already translated, if you want that.
00:13:05Oh, no, thanks, Mr. Cutler. I'm enjoying it translating.
00:13:08Besides, it might improve my English, don't you think?
00:13:11I'm sure that it will.
00:13:13Lacey. Yes, sir?
00:13:14Mr. Lacey will make all your arrangements,
00:13:16and I look forward to seeing you in San Francisco.
00:13:19Arrivederci a presto.
00:13:21Ciao. Ciao.
00:13:23Mr. Falcone, this is an open-end air ticket that you can use on any flight.
00:13:27Now, understand that you must arrive in San Francisco by 12 noon on the 12th day of April
00:13:33to sign for your money, or you will lose it.
00:13:35Of course, you can fly whenever you want.
00:13:37Fly? Yes, fly.
00:13:39In a jet plane.
00:13:41How else would you get there?
00:13:43Boat and a train.
00:13:45Yes. He says he wants to make the trip the way the old immigrants used to.
00:13:49Like his uncle did.
00:13:51No, I don't understand that.
00:13:53How do you go about reaching somebody like that?
00:14:07Are you rolling, Jimmy? Are you in focus?
00:14:09Well, for God's sakes, get over here on me.
00:14:11I'm not being paid a million bananas a year for you to shoot somebody else.
00:14:15No, no, let me take your bag. No, no, no, no, no.
00:14:17Okay, nice to see you.
00:14:19Now, there are some reporters waiting over here,
00:14:21and I'll be very careful of what you say,
00:14:23because they tend to misquote you, if you know what I mean.
00:14:25I am personally going to have you fired.
00:14:27You, too.
00:14:29Get him and get him.
00:14:31You just say whatever comes to mind.
00:14:33I realize this is all extremely sudden,
00:14:35but I'm sure our TV viewers would like to know what your thoughts are at this moment.
00:14:39Well, I'm very happy to be in the United States of America
00:14:42and to see the Statue of Liberty.
00:14:45As America's newest financial mogul,
00:14:47what do you think the role of our lending institution should be?
00:14:50I think my company should give money to people who need it
00:14:53and who would work hard to pay it back.
00:14:55You really think it's all that simple?
00:14:58Well...
00:14:59Yes.
00:15:00Well, by next Monday, you're obviously going to be the most eligible bachelor in America.
00:15:05I'm sure our women viewers would like to know what you would look for in a wife.
00:15:09Well, um, in a wife?
00:15:11Well, a big heart, first of all,
00:15:15a good mother, and, of course, a good cook.
00:15:17Do you know any American women now, Mr. McCoy?
00:15:26I know you think he's square,
00:15:28but he really happens to be a nice guy.
00:15:30However, all the good intentions in the world
00:15:33wouldn't make him capable to run this business.
00:15:36I'm under a great deal of pressure, Miss Jones.
00:15:39People calling up about their loans,
00:15:42employees worrying about whether they're going to lose their jobs.
00:15:46And it's for the benefit of everybody
00:15:48that Guido Falcone hand over his money as quickly as possible.
00:15:55What's your fee?
00:15:57500 a day plus expenses.
00:15:59Agreed.
00:16:01And a $25,000 bonus
00:16:04when you bring me the signature of Guido Falcone.
00:16:08Power of attorney.
00:16:10Do you think you can get him to do it?
00:16:12For that kind of money, Mr. Cutler,
00:16:15I can get him to do anything.
00:16:41Parasites.
00:16:43It's a wonder there aren't laws to control them.
00:16:46Well, getting down to business,
00:16:49you see, Guido,
00:16:51we will be arriving in San Francisco on Sunday night.
00:16:54I will personally check you into the presidential suite
00:16:57at the Stanford Court Hotel,
00:16:59which is just a hop, skip, and a jump from the Embarcadero Center,
00:17:03where, at 12 noon sharp on Monday,
00:17:06you will sign for your inheritance
00:17:08and be presented in a special ceremony
00:17:11to the friends and stockholders
00:17:13of our little family at Falcon Finance.
00:17:16Well, it's certainly going to be a relief,
00:17:19just you and me together for the next 3,000 miles.
00:17:23Oh, yes.
00:17:25Just forgot. Here's a $1,000 advance.
00:17:29Now, that amounts to 830,473 lira.
00:17:34Yes.
00:17:36All aboard.
00:17:38Thank you.
00:17:40Now, I've scheduled some wonderful sightseeing for us, Guido,
00:17:44and I can promise you
00:17:46that there won't be one dull moment in the next four days.
00:17:49Mr. Lacey, I'm your boss, no?
00:17:52Uh, no.
00:17:53Okay, yes.
00:17:54All aboard.
00:17:56You go to San Francisco by plane,
00:17:58and I'll see you there on Monday morning.
00:18:00But Mr. Cutler told me that...
00:18:02You better hurry. The train's leaving.
00:18:04I'll give you a hand.
00:18:06Guido! The Grand Tetons!
00:18:08Big Sur! Paris! Have a nice flight!
00:18:11The port is as high as an elephant's eye!
00:18:17Mr. Cutler?
00:18:19Mr. Cutler?
00:18:21I have a great idea for a human interest story.
00:18:28Yes?
00:18:35Okay.
00:18:45Tickets, please. Have your tickets ready.
00:18:47Yeah, here's my ticket.
00:18:52You don't happen to have the time, would you, sir?
00:18:54No, I'm sorry. I don't.
00:18:56You don't? Well, you are fortunate indeed, sir.
00:18:59I happen to have with me a fine selection of timepieces,
00:19:02perhaps the best ever seen in this hemisphere.
00:19:04Wait a moment.
00:19:05There's your silver, there's your gold,
00:19:0717 and 15 carat.
00:19:09Here's your self-winding, your Swiss-made,
00:19:11and your 17 jewel.
00:19:13Take any one. It's $500.
00:19:15No, thank you.
00:19:17Sir, do you happen to have a deuce on you?
00:19:20$2. Give me $2.
00:19:23Yeah, okay.
00:19:25Yeah, look, this week and this week only,
00:19:27we're running what we call the immigrant special.
00:19:29This is your Ellis Island gold watch.
00:19:31Let's wear it in good health.
00:19:53Raim! Raim!
00:19:55Help me! Somebody help!
00:19:57Raim!
00:19:59Raim!
00:20:01Hey, hey!
00:20:03Raim!
00:20:09Hey, take it easy.
00:20:11You know, perverts are people, too.
00:20:13Hey!
00:20:15I got kids. I got five kids.
00:20:17There's another one on the way.
00:20:19Otherwise, she'll break me into all the time.
00:20:29I'm sorry.
00:20:51You men are all alike.
00:20:56I just was just trying to...
00:20:58Go away and leave me alone.
00:21:12I was just...
00:21:14I was just trying to help.
00:21:16You were having trouble breathing, and I thought that...
00:21:18I know what you thought.
00:21:20You know better than that other creep.
00:21:22By the way,
00:21:24what happened to that other guy?
00:21:26I turned him over to the conductors.
00:21:30Just...
00:21:32go away and leave me alone.
00:21:42Yes?
00:21:46I'd like to apologize.
00:21:48You risked your neck to save mine.
00:21:50You didn't have to. Thank you.
00:21:52I'd like to talk to you.
00:21:54Yes, I'll talk.
00:21:58My name is Guido Falcone.
00:22:00What's yours?
00:22:02Rosie. Rosie Jones.
00:22:04Pleased to meet you, Rosie. You go all the way?
00:22:06I beg your pardon, Mr...
00:22:08I mean, you travel all the way to San Francisco?
00:22:12Yes.
00:22:14And, uh, why are you...
00:22:16Look, what is this? 20 questions?
00:22:18My name is Rosie Jones. I'm 28 years old.
00:22:20I just got fired from my job because my boss
00:22:22was more interested in my figure than my future.
00:22:24I'm on my way to San Francisco because I once had a good time there
00:22:26and I thought it'd be a good place to start anew.
00:22:28I'm taking the train because I have a fear of flying.
00:22:30Now, if that satisfies your curiosity,
00:22:32I'll be on my way.
00:22:34Yes. Will you have dinner with me?
00:22:36No.
00:22:46Hello, Danny.
00:22:48Hey, remember me?
00:22:50I had to give that conductor
00:22:52a hundred bucks to let me go.
00:22:54Look at my shirt. Look what your friend did to my shirt.
00:22:56That's one of my favorite shirts, too.
00:22:58And he hit me. And he hits pretty good
00:23:00for a guy who's been training on nothing but spaghetti.
00:23:02How'd it go with you?
00:23:04Fine.
00:23:06You don't sound so fine.
00:23:08Look, Bernie, I don't mind trying to get
00:23:10something from a guy that's trying to get something from me,
00:23:12but I don't like hustling
00:23:14a nice guy.
00:23:16Well, you took a hell of a time to get a conscience.
00:23:18I mean, you could have told me this
00:23:20before I put my ass in hock.
00:23:22Rosie, everything I own is an escape. Everything.
00:23:24I have a lot at stake, too.
00:23:26Look, Rosie.
00:23:28Look, I just don't want you
00:23:30to get sucked into something. Do you understand?
00:23:32When this guy gets his big in,
00:23:34he's gonna be just the same as the rest of the rich snobs.
00:23:36Right? Huh?
00:23:38Right.
00:23:40Shall I call Cutler?
00:23:42Tell him to get our bonus ready.
00:23:44That's my girl.
00:23:48We'll get him, eh, Daschle?
00:23:50A 22-page book, what every girl needs.
00:23:52It's a three-minute one illustration.
00:23:54You can get that for $11.95.
00:24:00Mind if I be seated?
00:24:02It's a free coffee, Mr. Billiard.
00:24:08Unless you're planning on buying it.
00:24:10I don't understand why you're so mad at me.
00:24:12I'm not mad at you.
00:24:14It's just that you men with money
00:24:16treat all us working girls
00:24:18like something you can buy.
00:24:20I'm not used to having money.
00:24:22You'll get used to it.
00:24:32I'm sorry for talking to you like this.
00:24:34You probably even deserve the money.
00:24:38I wonder why.
00:24:40I wonder why.
00:24:42Oh, let me take care of that.
00:24:50Hi, Mr. Falcone.
00:24:52I'm Earl Mitchell.
00:24:54How do you do?
00:24:56I'm staff aide to Colonel Winkle.
00:24:58He'd be very, very honored to have you
00:25:00and the lovely lady as his guests at his table.
00:25:02I don't see a meeting
00:25:04among Italian millionaires
00:25:06you're about to crack.
00:25:08Billionaire, Colonel.
00:25:10As of 12 o'clock next Monday morning,
00:25:12he becomes a billionaire.
00:25:14Now, that's a lot of potential matching funds for our camp.
00:25:16Golden eggs in a silver bucket.
00:25:18Bet that dickhole can't even vote.
00:25:20Colonel, just please try to smile
00:25:22when you meet him.
00:25:24Give me a drink or something.
00:25:26Oh, Colonel, may I present
00:25:28Miss Rosalind Jones,
00:25:30Mr. Guido Falcone, also known as Mr. Billion.
00:25:32How do you do?
00:25:34U.S. Army Colonel Clayton T. Winkle.
00:25:36Uh, let me get right to the point.
00:25:38Is that a company?
00:25:40It's a large company. You're going to need...
00:25:42I inquire into what alcohol
00:25:44it can buy. Didn't you do it?
00:25:46Jack Daniels.
00:25:48Jack Daniels?
00:25:50He's a customer.
00:25:54Did I?
00:25:56Well, you're very gracious.
00:25:58Absolutely.
00:26:00You know, when you need them, it really makes
00:26:02an enormous amount of difference.
00:26:04That's good.
00:26:06What do you think you're doing, young lady,
00:26:08giving that man a drink?
00:26:10Who do you think you are, his mother?
00:26:12Well put, baby.
00:26:14I've had him on the wagon for two weeks.
00:26:16Now get some, bitch.
00:26:18What did you call the lady?
00:26:20Oh, nothing, Mr. Falcone. It was just an affectionate
00:26:22American idiot, you know.
00:26:24Of course.
00:26:26He called her a bitch, son.
00:26:28Same as in son of a bitch.
00:26:30Oh, yeah?
00:26:32Oh!
00:26:42That little incident paved the way
00:26:44for me to meet the founding father of the FBI,
00:26:46J. Edgar Hoover.
00:26:48And John Edgar Hoover said to me,
00:26:50he said, Bull,
00:26:52he said, you must be taking a lot of flack
00:26:54on slaughtering all them reds,
00:26:56but Bull, you mark my word,
00:26:58that little old shootout's going to
00:27:00catapult you right into the
00:27:02United States Senate.
00:27:04With all that booze
00:27:06and them broads and them secretaries
00:27:08bedded down.
00:27:10You know what he did for me?
00:27:12He gave me these.
00:27:14These are his own personal bracelets.
00:27:16Same one he put on Lucy's.
00:27:18So it's my honor
00:27:20to, uh,
00:27:22make you two kids
00:27:24honorary members of the Bureau.
00:27:26Raise your arms up here and put that on there, son.
00:27:28That's it here, daughter. That's good.
00:27:30And this is for duty
00:27:32far and above
00:27:34the call of duty.
00:27:36Mr. Guido Falcone. Yes, that's me.
00:27:38FBI.
00:27:40Would you come with me? He's not FBI.
00:27:46Want to take a ride?
00:27:48Welcome aboard.
00:27:58Welcome aboard.
00:28:00Welcome aboard.
00:28:28We have got to protect our corporate image.
00:28:30This has turned out to be a hell of a circus,
00:28:32hasn't it?
00:28:34I told you, I told you,
00:28:36the man is an animal.
00:28:38He practically hit me.
00:28:40Now, we have got to release
00:28:42some kind of statement.
00:28:44Now, John, I'm warning you,
00:28:46if we allow this man's shenanigans
00:28:48to keep making us look ridiculous,
00:28:50I cannot be responsible for public opinion.
00:28:52Marge, please,
00:28:54no phone calls.
00:28:56But it's the FBI, Mr. Cutler.
00:29:02Hello, John Cutler here.
00:29:04Now, listen and listen good,
00:29:06because I'm only going to say this once.
00:29:08I'm holding Guido Falcone.
00:29:10In tomorrow morning's mail,
00:29:12you will receive his passport
00:29:14and instructions as to where and when
00:29:16you will deliver $1 million for his life.
00:29:18If you don't do exactly as the letter directs,
00:29:20Guido Falcone will die.
00:29:22If you call the police,
00:29:24if you call anyone,
00:29:26Guido Falcone dies.
00:29:28Do we understand each other?
00:29:30We understand each other perfectly.
00:29:32There'll be absolutely no trouble.
00:29:34Nice talking to you, Mr. Cutler.
00:29:36Thank you.
00:29:40What was that all about?
00:29:42We are in terrible trouble.
00:29:44What's he done now?
00:29:46Guido has been kidnapped.
00:29:48Oh, my God.
00:29:50Should I call the press now?
00:29:52Of course call the press,
00:29:54and call the police, too.
00:29:56John Cutler and the Falcon Finance Company
00:29:58will not hold still
00:30:00for something like this.
00:30:02Yes, sir, Mr. Cutler.
00:30:04All right, Hyde, come on.
00:30:08Oh, Moose,
00:30:10open me a bottle of Dom Perignon.
00:30:12$69?
00:30:14No, this calls for $62.
00:30:16Mr. Billion,
00:30:18Guido Falcone was kidnapped
00:30:20off a train late Thursday night.
00:30:22The abduction was revealed
00:30:24to the press by John Cutler
00:30:26of the Falcon Finance Company.
00:30:28Cutler claimed the abductors
00:30:30were asking $1 million
00:30:32for Falcone's release.
00:30:34Read the newspaper.
00:30:36My family reads the newspaper.
00:30:38I don't care about your family.
00:30:40We're going back to the slammer.
00:30:42I've been to the slammer.
00:30:44I used to walk the streets of Chicago.
00:30:46I used to cut a cat's throat,
00:30:48just like that, for a penny.
00:30:50Just take it easy, man.
00:30:52Don't worry about it.
00:30:54Good morning.
00:31:04Yeah, you read the papers?
00:31:06Yes, I read the papers.
00:31:08Now listen, we're gonna deliver a message.
00:31:10I want you to take the girl, slit her throat,
00:31:12put her in a blind box, and send her to John Cutler
00:31:14in San Francisco. Get it?
00:31:16Got it. Good.
00:31:18What's that?
00:31:20The girl. We gotta kill her.
00:31:22Oh, no, man. No, I don't do that.
00:31:24She's a woman. My mother's a woman.
00:31:26My dad protected her.
00:31:28We did kidnap her.
00:31:30Look, I don't care.
00:31:32Would you listen?
00:31:34All right. If you don't wanna do it, I'll do it.
00:31:36What a couple of turkeys.
00:31:38What's the matter, lady? You got a problem?
00:31:40You got a billion-dollar baby here,
00:31:42right in front of your noses, and you can't even smell it.
00:31:44How much is your boss paying you?
00:31:46It's $10,000.
00:31:48Will you shut up?
00:31:50$10,000?
00:31:52Aren't you tired of baking the pie
00:31:54and not getting a piece?
00:31:56Pie? What are you talking about?
00:31:58$500,000.
00:32:00You're holding all the cards.
00:32:02You've got Mr. Billion.
00:32:04When your boss wants him, make him pay.
00:32:06The boss ain't gonna like that.
00:32:08Come here.
00:32:12Look here.
00:32:14The broad is right. Do you understand?
00:32:16I mean, I dig where she's coming from.
00:32:18Look here. Look here. I got a plan.
00:32:20Now, listen. I mean, we got to do it.
00:32:22We stuff him in the back, right?
00:32:24I get on the phone. I call up the man.
00:32:26Instead of us settling for a little old 10,
00:32:28then we can have the whole big thing.
00:32:30Yeah.
00:32:32Unlock him.
00:32:34Unlock him.
00:32:40Hey!
00:32:42Aah!
00:32:44Oh!
00:33:04Aah!
00:33:06Hey, wait a minute!
00:33:18That's got him.
00:33:26Aah!
00:33:28Aah!
00:33:30Aah!
00:33:34Aah!
00:33:38I got father, son, I didn't mean to kill him.
00:33:40I got him. I got him. I know I got him.
00:33:46You didn't get anybody.
00:33:48Shoot!
00:34:00Hey, you have that back!
00:34:04Aah!
00:34:10Forward. Ride forward.
00:34:24Let's be selfish.
00:34:26I have no wheels.
00:34:28Hey, motorcycles. Neat.
00:34:30We're gonna get him.
00:34:32Don't worry.
00:34:34Now watch this.
00:34:42Why should I learn to drive like that?
00:34:44Stay my queen.
00:34:48I mean, I could have been walking down the street
00:34:50with some of the finest players.
00:34:52I could have had women on each side of my arm.
00:34:54That's what people think about.
00:34:56No, that's what they think about in motorcars.
00:34:58White broads. Chinese broads.
00:35:00You better come to my neighborhood
00:35:02with a white-collar broad.
00:35:04That don't go in my neighborhood, fellas,
00:35:06as long as they're brown.
00:35:20In that Cadillac car,
00:35:22I could have had me a sofa.
00:35:24Matter of fact, I could have had me two white sofas.
00:35:28Aah!
00:35:58Aah!
00:36:04Roll up, man. Will you be careful?
00:36:06Will you be careful?
00:36:12Up, right. Up, right. Up, right.
00:36:14Up, right. Up, right. Up, right.
00:36:16Up, right. Up, right. Up, right.
00:36:18Come back, you dumb...
00:36:20I'll kill you!
00:36:22I'll kill you!
00:36:28Get up! Get up!
00:36:32I didn't do nothing!
00:36:34This guy's a maniac!
00:36:36He's a St. Sixty Superfly!
00:36:38Ready?
00:36:56Many of my viewers at home
00:36:58would be interested in knowing
00:37:00whether you plan to provide
00:37:02an extended deadline so that Guido
00:37:04can receive his inheritance.
00:37:06Frankly, the language of the will
00:37:08is very clear.
00:37:10So, in other words, you're saying
00:37:12that if he isn't at the Embarcadero meeting
00:37:14by Monday noon, he loses his money.
00:37:16Well, I didn't write the will.
00:37:18I'm just the executor
00:37:20carrying out Anthony Falcon's wishes.
00:37:22This must place
00:37:24a rather heavy burden on you
00:37:26with your stand on kidnapping
00:37:28because it could cost his life.
00:37:30I'm well aware of that.
00:37:32And I'm sure Guido would want me to do
00:37:34exactly as I'm doing.
00:37:58I hope I'm not interrupting,
00:38:00but shall we take a walk?
00:38:04Let's go.
00:38:06...
00:38:32It doesn't look like your good buddy Cutler
00:38:34He takes me seriously.
00:38:37I don't think he cares whether you live or die.
00:38:43So I guess it's up to us to show him that we mean business.
00:38:49Jump.
00:38:51Jump!
00:38:52Ah!
00:38:53Ah!
00:38:54Ah!
00:38:55Ah!
00:38:56Ah!
00:38:56Ah!
00:38:57Ah!
00:38:58Ah!
00:38:59Ah!
00:39:00Ah!
00:39:01Ah!
00:39:01Ah!
00:39:02Ah!
00:39:03Ah!
00:39:04Get him!
00:39:05Ah!
00:39:06Ah!
00:39:09Ugh!
00:39:32Ah!
00:39:33♪
00:39:43♪
00:39:53♪
00:40:03♪
00:40:13♪
00:40:23♪
00:40:33♪
00:40:43♪
00:40:53♪
00:41:03♪
00:41:13♪
00:41:23♪
00:41:33♪
00:41:43♪
00:41:53♪
00:42:03♪
00:42:13♪
00:42:23♪
00:42:33♪
00:42:43♪
00:42:53Goodbye, ma'am.
00:42:54Goodbye.
00:42:56Ma'am, I sure like that name.
00:43:00Clementine.
00:43:02Clementine.
00:43:04♪
00:43:12♪
00:43:22♪
00:43:32♪
00:43:42♪
00:43:52♪
00:44:02♪
00:44:12Hi there, cowboy.
00:44:14Did you lose your horse?
00:44:16What?
00:44:18You look real lonesome.
00:44:20I guess so.
00:44:26You want to sit down?
00:44:27I sure do.
00:44:28I'm feeling a little lonesome myself.
00:44:32You're not from around here.
00:44:34Me?
00:44:39I'm a cowboy looking for work, ma'am.
00:44:41Oh, yeah.
00:44:42Well, things are tough all over, sugar.
00:44:45You want to buy a thirsty lady a little drink?
00:44:48Name your poison, ma'am.
00:44:50Well, I'm kind of partial to whiskey myself.
00:44:53What are you having?
00:44:54Jack Daniels.
00:44:56All right.
00:44:57Hey, that's my favorite.
00:44:58Sam, Jack Daniels.
00:45:00There's no reason to look so down, man.
00:45:02Life's a banquet.
00:45:03Most poor suckers are starving to death.
00:45:06That'll be two bucks, ma'am.
00:45:13Cheers.
00:45:14Salute.
00:45:21Say, cowboy, you're all right.
00:45:24You're all right, too.
00:45:26Sam, more whiskey, please.
00:45:28Just leave the bottle on the table, Sam.
00:45:31Over my teeth, over my gums,
00:45:33Look out, tummy, here she comes.
00:45:39Say, baby, you want to party?
00:45:41Lauren?
00:45:42Come on.
00:45:58Come on.
00:46:05Where's the party?
00:46:07You're looking at it.
00:46:09Money.
00:46:11You want money.
00:46:28La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la...
00:46:45Hey, what happened to you?
00:46:48Hey.
00:46:49What do you want?
00:46:51All right.
00:46:52My head.
00:46:53Somebody hit me.
00:46:55I'll fix you one of my special hangover removals.
00:46:58Matter of fact, I could use one myself.
00:47:01You're a cowboy?
00:47:03Oh, yeah. A damn good one, too.
00:47:06That's one of my special hats.
00:47:09I remember the night I got that, back in 1937.
00:47:13I was feeling real spiffy, and I go to this redneck bar...
00:47:17and go right up to the bar and order myself a double shot.
00:47:21And then this big Texan, he comes up to me...
00:47:24and he says, Nella, if you can drink...
00:47:28as big as you talk, I'll give you my hat.
00:47:31So they lined up whiskey from one end of the bar to the other.
00:47:35Must have been about 30 feet away.
00:47:37Pops, you're here telling that same old dumb story again?
00:47:40Me and this old Texan, we started going to each other.
00:47:43Hey, Pops, who's this?
00:47:45Oh, that's, uh...
00:47:47You mean to tell me you brought him in here and you don't even know what his name is?
00:47:50It wasn't a damn name anyhow.
00:47:53One week you Dallas Red, then you Franklin X, now you Mohammed something.
00:47:57My name is Amid Rashid.
00:47:59That's what I said.
00:48:01I'm sorry, I didn't want to cause any trouble.
00:48:03My name is Guido Falcone.
00:48:05Oh, you're Puerto Rico?
00:48:07See, he's one of them third-world nationalists, just like you.
00:48:10Hey, where'd you get that?
00:48:12Oh, I got it from the colonel.
00:48:14You're telling me that they're giving handcuffs with the chicken now?
00:48:16I met this colonel on the train.
00:48:18Hey, look, man, don't you get smart with me.
00:48:20I mean, take it easy.
00:48:22I mean, this man is hot, Pops, and you just got to get him out of here
00:48:24before he brings the heat down here on us.
00:48:26Hey, wait a minute.
00:48:31Hey.
00:48:35Thanks.
00:48:36Can I pay you something for the hat and your kindness?
00:48:39Oh, it wouldn't be kindness if I took any money for it.
00:48:41Don't worry, I'll be repaid many times over.
00:48:44Will you just get back in the house, Santa Claus?
00:48:46Well, you'd think we were running here.
00:48:48Hey, if you want to give something away, why don't you give it to me?
00:49:18Hey.
00:49:41Where you going?
00:49:42When's the next bus out of here?
00:49:44There's one train to Orleans. Leaves in about an hour.
00:49:47Okay.
00:49:54It'll be $16.40 one way.
00:50:07She took my money.
00:50:17She took my money.
00:50:31Barkeep, whiskey.
00:50:39Thanks, partner.
00:50:42I want my money back.
00:50:44I don't know what you're talking about.
00:50:46Excuse me, will you? Is he bothering you?
00:50:48That's none of your business.
00:50:50All I'm making is my business.
00:50:52You can't talk that way to Linda.
00:50:54It's Lucy.
00:50:56Lucy, yeah, you can't talk that way to Lucy.
00:50:58And you're gonna stop me?
00:51:00Look, just cause I'm twice your age, sonny boy,
00:51:02ain't no reason I can't stomp a mud hole in your ass.
00:51:05Well, don't be ridiculous.
00:51:07Oh.
00:51:37Aah!
00:52:08Aah!
00:52:30All right, cut it out.
00:52:38Hank, when you get a minute,
00:52:40I want to talk to you.
00:52:44All right, who started this?
00:52:50All right, Sherlock, what's this all about?
00:52:52He's in trouble.
00:52:54Who's in trouble?
00:52:56Guido. Cutler would do anything to stop him.
00:52:58Did you find out where Cutler is?
00:53:00Cutler is at home.
00:53:02Did you get the address?
00:53:04933 Jefferson View Drive.
00:53:06Good.
00:53:08Where did you get the bracelet?
00:53:10It's a long story. Do you have your keys?
00:53:12I got my keys.
00:53:14I know. I put a copy of that agreement somewhere.
00:53:16Here it is. Do you have a pen?
00:53:18Pen, pen, keys, pen. Yeah, here's a pen.
00:53:20Good.
00:53:22Rosie, what the hell is this all about?
00:53:24I mean, the last time I saw you,
00:53:26you had Guido eating out of your hand and a bonus locked up.
00:53:28I go to call Cutler, I come back,
00:53:30and I find Daschle and some drunken general in each other's arms.
00:53:32You're gone.
00:53:34And then I read that the turkey got kidnapped.
00:53:36He's not a turkey.
00:53:40Are you stuck on this Guido guy?
00:53:42Just under the handcuffs, would you please?
00:53:44Oh, boy.
00:53:46I'm sorry, Bernie.
00:53:48It's all my fault.
00:53:50Yeah, sure, Rosie. It's all your fault.
00:53:52Old man Falcon dies, leaves Guido a billion dollars.
00:53:54Some guy hires us for a job, another guy kidnaps him.
00:53:56But it's all your fault.
00:54:02What the hell are you doing here?
00:54:04If Cutler gets the agreement with Guido's signature on it,
00:54:06maybe he'll leave Guido alone.
00:54:08Rosie, this is crazy.
00:54:10Guido ain't signing it. You are.
00:54:12How's it look?
00:54:20Guido.
00:54:22I pray it's you.
00:54:32I pray it's you.
00:54:34I pray it's you.
00:54:36I pray it's you.
00:55:00Sunday morning coming in.
00:55:06Oh.
00:55:16Name is Duane.
00:55:18What's your handle, son?
00:55:20Guido.
00:55:22Guido?
00:55:26Hell, I'm just gonna call you Jerry.
00:55:30Well, Jerry,
00:55:32I sure am sorry
00:55:34that I got you into this mess.
00:55:36But like I always said,
00:55:40ain't nothing like a good woman
00:55:42or a good fighter,
00:55:44a good drunk to perk a fella up,
00:55:46by golly, when he's feeling blue.
00:55:48You lost your woman?
00:55:50Oh, hell no. I lost my ranch.
00:55:52Goddamn bank come in yesterday
00:55:54and took it away from me.
00:55:5628 years of hard work
00:55:58all shot to hell.
00:56:00Now they're gonna take my place
00:56:02and make a friggin' golf course
00:56:04or something out of it
00:56:06just cause I couldn't pay
00:56:08their goddamn 18% interest.
00:56:10Oh, pipe down.
00:56:12Oh, pipe down yourself,
00:56:14you goddamn heathen.
00:56:16You know, this is still a free country
00:56:18even if we are in the calaboose.
00:56:20Hey, Jerry,
00:56:22what do you do to make ends meet?
00:56:24I used to be a mechanic
00:56:26in a garage, sports car.
00:56:28Sports car?
00:56:30They laid you off, huh,
00:56:32them goddamn greedy bastards?
00:56:34They're always happy to let you go
00:56:36when things is down,
00:56:38but they never want to share the profit
00:56:40when things is a-boomin'.
00:56:42Maybe that's the way the world is.
00:56:52Hey, son,
00:56:54somebody sure took the wind
00:56:56out of your sails.
00:56:58What's her name?
00:57:04Hey, deputy.
00:57:08What's your problem, fella?
00:57:10Tell him you got the right
00:57:12to make one phone call.
00:57:14Phone call?
00:57:16You sure you don't want to tell me
00:57:18how you got them handcuffs on you?
00:57:20I'd just like to make a phone call.
00:57:22I'll tell you what.
00:57:24I'll take them off.
00:57:26I got a right to one phone call.
00:57:28Yeah, that's your right.
00:57:30Tell the operator what you want,
00:57:32but keep it short, huh?
00:57:36phone rings
00:57:42Guido, I pray it's you,
00:57:44and I wouldn't blame you
00:57:46if you never wanted to speak to me again.
00:57:48But no matter what you think of me,
00:57:50no matter how I've hurt you,
00:57:52the only thing that matters now
00:57:54is that you get to San Francisco
00:57:56and get the money.
00:57:58There's so much good you can do with it.
00:58:00And, darling, don't worry about Cutler.
00:58:02I'll fix everything.
00:58:04I don't know
00:58:06if we'll ever have a chance together,
00:58:08and I don't know if it still means anything to you,
00:58:10but, Guido,
00:58:12I love you.
00:58:22phone rings
00:58:26Sheriff,
00:58:28I'm Mr. Billion.
00:58:30Mr. Billion?
00:58:32That's right.
00:58:34If I get to San Francisco by noon tomorrow,
00:58:36I get a billion dollars.
00:58:38Let me out now, and I can pay whatever you want.
00:58:40Uh-huh.
00:58:42Let's say I believe you
00:58:44and let you go.
00:58:46How do I know you'll come back and pay me?
00:58:48You got my word.
00:58:50Listen, mister, the only thing I believe in
00:58:52is cash money under barrel head.
00:58:54If I see that, you stay put.
00:58:56Put it back, Hank.
00:59:00Look at the newspapers, Sheriff.
00:59:02I'm not lying. I'm Mr. Billion.
00:59:08Signed, sealed, and delivered.
00:59:14Miss Jones,
00:59:16I can't tell you how delighted I am
00:59:18to have this,
00:59:20but what is more important,
00:59:22I'm elated to see that you're safe and sound.
00:59:24We're all very apprehensive.
00:59:26Thank you, Inez.
00:59:28And, um...
00:59:32Guido, is he in good health?
00:59:34He's fine.
00:59:36Where would Guido
00:59:38be about now?
00:59:40Where's my bonus?
00:59:42I'll have a check drawn up
00:59:44for you immediately.
00:59:46Nothing in the other room.
01:00:10That little bitch.
01:00:16Hell,
01:00:18take it easy, Jerry.
01:00:20We'll be out of here in a day or two.
01:00:24No.
01:00:26We're good until a year now.
01:00:28All I said was
01:00:30that you had cow pie for brains
01:00:32and chicken manure for guts.
01:00:34Help!
01:00:36You eat your words!
01:00:38Eat them!
01:00:40Come on!
01:00:42Come on!
01:00:44Get those handcuffs off!
01:00:46Damn handcuffs!
01:00:50Your car keys!
01:00:52In the pocket!
01:00:54And what kind of car?
01:00:56Four knock ones!
01:00:58You can have a fancy one!
01:01:10You can have a fancy one!
01:01:40Baker 12, Baker 12.
01:01:42This is Baker 12.
01:01:44Got a jailbreak. Focus that foreign fella
01:01:46so I ain't scarred.
01:01:48Ain't scarred? I got him.
01:01:56Mighty is the arm of the law!
01:02:10I got you now,
01:02:12you little foreign squirt.
01:02:20Bringin' in the cheese!
01:02:22Bringin' in the cheese!
01:02:24Put the pedal to the metal!
01:02:30We're losing him!
01:02:32We're losing him!
01:02:34We're losing him!
01:02:36We're losing him!
01:02:38We're losing him!
01:02:40We're losing him!
01:02:42Goddamn!
01:02:46Go get your goddamn hands on the line!
01:02:48Twain and that idiot bastard are comin' at you!
01:02:50We'll put him in a bind.
01:03:08Jerry, get out of here!
01:03:10Cops at the door!
01:03:20Why the hell'd you stop him?
01:03:22You jerk! Back away! You're fired!
01:03:38We're losing him!
01:03:40We're losing him!
01:03:42We're losing him!
01:03:44We're losing him!
01:03:46We're losing him!
01:03:48We're losing him!
01:03:50We're losing him!
01:03:52We're losing him!
01:03:54We're losing him!
01:03:56We're losing him!
01:03:58We're losing him!
01:04:00We're losing him!
01:04:02We're losing him!
01:04:04We're losing him!
01:04:06We're losing him!
01:04:12Goddamn, Jerry!
01:04:14You're making me feel younger all the time!
01:04:36Mr. Thomas, led by Wildman, Woco Woco, Smoky Jovens, Tyra, Tickler D. Lux,
01:04:46Heathcliff Anabas, Huckabee Smith, Sammy Lilton, Mavril,
01:04:48Smokey Lilton, Tickler D. Lux, Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux, Heathcliff Anabas,
01:04:49Tickler D. Lux, Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:04:49Tickler D. Lux, Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:04:49Tickler D. Lux, Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:04:49Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:04:49Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:04:49Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:04:49Tickler D. Lux, Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:05:19Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:05:49Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:06:17Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:06:47Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:07:17Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:07:45Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:08:13Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:08:40Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:09:08Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:09:38Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:10:06Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:10:34Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:11:02Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:11:30Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:11:57Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:12:27Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:12:57Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:13:25Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:13:55Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:14:21Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:14:49Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:15:17Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:15:45Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:16:15Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:16:42Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:17:10Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:17:38Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:18:06Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:18:34Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:19:02Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:19:29Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:19:57Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:20:25Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:20:53Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:21:19Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:21:49Heathcliff Anabas, Tickler D. Lux,
01:22:15Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Hyde Kitchmiller.
01:22:24Thank you. It is my pleasure to introduce a man whose integrity is exceeded only
01:22:34by his generosity, whose intellect is exceeded only by his compassion.
01:22:45I've always wanted to see San Francisco. San Francisco Tower, this is Citation 290
01:22:57Charlie Charlie, 15 miles east, request landing instructions. Roger 290 Charlie Charlie,
01:23:02use runway 180 west clear to land in 1200 hours. Whose sense of leadership is exceeded only
01:23:10by his gift of friendship, by his generosity, whose intellect is exceeded only...
01:23:17Don't make me look too good. I don't want to think I spend all my time in the golf club.
01:23:27Where's the parachute? It's in the back.
01:23:30Fly me over the Embarcadero Center. Mr. John Wellington Cutler.
01:23:41Okay, see you in the fall, partner.
01:23:52I love you, Rosie. I love you, Guido.
01:23:56High noon.
01:24:03I would like to apologize. I know that smoking is a filthy and disgusting habit,
01:24:11but every man is allowed one vice, and this is my one vice. I would like to begin by admonishing
01:24:21criteria for loans and mortgages. Only by keeping a tight rein on the river of money that flows
01:24:29through our economy will we prevent the floods of inflation and the drought of recession.
01:24:38I say that this is a time not to loosen your belt, but to tighten it.
01:24:45Don't worry. Are we paid? Many times over.
01:25:08In the free marketplace, only the strong and deserving survive.
01:25:15Which way to the Embarcadero Center? That way.
01:25:24Good hard work is always rewarded,
01:25:30and malingering is punished.
01:25:36But in reality, it's only the destruction of a system to which they can't adapt.
01:25:46Now, friends, if I may have a personal moment at this time, I would like to be allowed to say
01:25:58something that I believe to be appropriate at this time. I am deeply saddened by the loss
01:26:07of that fine young man whom I grew to have such great affection for, Mr. Guido Fappo.
01:26:25Does this go to the Embarcadero Center? 25 cents, one quarter of a dollar.
01:26:29Hey, you're Mr. Billion. Hey, he's got a billion dollars. Look at that. That's Mr. Billion.
01:26:34If all had gone well, he was to be here with us today for this time of mourning.
01:26:43He was not a child. He knew that he was too young and too naive to take over the controls
01:26:53of such a vast agency. Was his ambition to become a banker?
01:27:04And Guido's dream will never come true.
01:27:24Where do I stop? Right here, Mr. Falcone. I'm so glad you could make it.
01:27:35You wanted my signature, didn't you?
01:27:48Hold it. Stop. I tell you to stop. You work for me. I'm Mr. Billion.
01:27:55Yeah, I'm Mr. Billion.
01:28:04Thank you.
01:28:14I now hereby call to order this meeting of the Board of Directors of this here bank.
01:28:39Now, the first order of business is the matter of that damn 18 percent interest
01:28:44that's too much for a man to pay. Now, we got to get rid of it. The only thing to do
01:28:49is to hold a vote on it. Now, ma'am, what's your feelings on this? That sounds to me like
01:28:54a most sensible notion. It's far too much for folks to pay. And as the only woman member
01:29:00of this board, I happily cast my vote with you, Mr. Hawkins. Thank you, ma'am. Bernie,
01:29:07Bernie. Dwayne, I've given this matter a lot of thought. I think we ought to buy Vegas.
01:29:14What the hell good is it going to do to buy Vegas? And about that percentage debt,
01:29:19I don't know nothing about no percentage. I say give the money to the poor folks. That's
01:29:24what you need to do. We need to do some... Look, that's charity. That's patronizing.
01:29:29Now, people need control over their own lives. We should set up daycare centers, skill centers.
01:29:34I agree with the lady there. And we should have some more sisters on this board.
01:29:39I agree with Cornell on that. You see, what we need is an effective program for the working
01:29:44man and woman. Now, that's the heart of the matter right there. Leo? I vote with the majority.
01:29:50That's the American way. It's been working for 200 years. Bull manure, Lacey. I make a motion
01:29:57that this bank never allows any of its money to get into political entanglements. And I'm
01:30:03gonna drink to that. Jerry, what's your feeling on this matter? Well, I'll leave it up to you,
01:30:13partners.
01:32:13Thank you.