Da Kath Kim Code (2005)
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Welcome to Super Cult Cinema, where classic movies meet contemporary classics! Dive into a world of timeless films, spanning decades and genres, curated for cinephiles like you. From Hollywood classics to international masterpieces, we've got it all. Join us as we celebrate the art of cinema and explore the stories that have captured our hearts and minds for generations. Subscribe now to embark on a journey through the rich tapestry of cinematic history. Don't miss out on our latest uploads, exclusive content, and curated playlists. Get ready to experience the magic of movies like never before with Super Cult Cinema!
Transcript
00:00:00There's always a joker in the pack There's always a lonely clown
00:00:07And there is a jester, just a fool As foolish as he can be
00:00:16There's always a joker, that's the rule But fate deals a hand and I see
00:00:25The joker is me, the joker is me The joker is me
00:00:56Wa la la la La la la la
00:01:13Well, I didn't think it'd go this far. It's like I've been possessed or something.
00:01:29What about Kim? Don't worry about Kim.
00:01:34I told him you were coming back. I got the papers put on.
00:02:00Yeah, yeah, she'll be coming back today. And did I show you this, Kim? I got it in
00:02:05Milan. Can you believe it? They've got an Ausnitz outlet in Milan. And these are all
00:02:10the rave in Europe. And I got, oh, for Efony, for little Eps, look what I got for you, darling.
00:02:15Isn't this cute? My grandma went on the Da Vinci Code tour and all I got was this lousy
00:02:19t-shirt. I really like that. I could fit into that. I can't wear that.
00:02:24Anyway, Kim, the tour was great this time. You know, it first started in the Louvre in
00:02:28Paris, just like in the Da Vinci Code. And the group, they were awesome, weren't they?
00:02:32And just like in the book, they pretended to lock us in the museum overnight. It was
00:02:36a hoot. Yeah, but I was ahead of them, wasn't I? Because
00:02:39what I did, Kim, is that I went up to the second floor, jumped out the window, came
00:02:43around, let Kel out. And that's how we gave the Opus Dei albino the slip.
00:02:47The albino's the chap who runs the whole Da Vinci Code tour. He's a fellow by the name
00:02:50of John Monk. Yeah, he was nice, but he was funny, wasn't
00:02:54he? Not funny ha-ha, funny weird. Oh, he's raking it, isn't he?
00:02:58Yeah. How long has Oso Boko's been sitting here?
00:03:01I just bought them yesterday. Well, you can't be leaving weed out in this
00:03:05weather. Can't be leaving weed out in this weather.
00:03:08Yeah, it was sort of like the Amazing Race, Kim. You know that TV show?
00:03:11Oh, it sounds boring. Oh, no, it wasn't boring. They even had an
00:03:15orgy in a crypt one night after tea, didn't they, Kim?
00:03:17Oh, it was so real, Kim. It was amazing how it was done. I've got a photo of it here.
00:03:21Ew. If it was so awesome, how come you're home early?
00:03:24Oh, as it happens, at our last stop, we were supposed to be staying with this
00:03:28direct descendant of Jesus's. Yeah, he runs a B&B with his wife, Kerry.
00:03:32Kim, he was such a phony. Oh, you could clearly see he had a stick-on
00:03:36beard. Yeah, so we just, we just left. You know,
00:03:39we'd seen enough. John Monk was not happy. We nearly came to
00:03:42blows. He sent me this weird text, Kat. I think he reckons we still owe him 44
00:03:47euros. Oh, what can he do now, Kel? I mean, he's
00:03:49in France. He's in the Dordogne, you knong. And that's your tidy bag for your
00:03:54mandarin peels, etc.
00:03:58Oh, mind your hump, Mr Monk.
00:04:09Remember, we drive on the left-hand side of the road.
00:04:12In Australia. No, go to sleep, please.
00:04:19No, it's fine, Kel. It's, it's fine. It's not off. Yoghurt smells like that.
00:04:24So, so tell me, Kim, what's all, you know, what's all the goss? What's been
00:04:26happening around here? Brett's had a big promotion. Oh, really?
00:04:29Yeah, he's been moved sideways. Yeah, so the pressure's really on me now.
00:04:34You wouldn't know what it's like to be married to a very successful guy. Oh,
00:04:37wouldn't I? What do you call this guy here eating his yoghurt and muesli? So,
00:04:40tell me, what's the promotion? Well, Brett is now the official
00:04:45Computer City floater. Oh, a floater. Well, what does that
00:04:48specifically entail, Kim? Well, Brett sort of explained it like he's
00:04:52kind of like an octopus, you know, spreading his testicles over
00:04:55all departments. Oh, that sounds like a big job. Yeah, oh, and the perks, Mum.
00:04:59Yeah? You know, he gets a company car and a new
00:05:02flip phone. Oh, are you about to move out then soon, Kim?
00:05:05Oh, we've got to save first. Anyway, anyway, I've got his Christmas party
00:05:08tomorrow night and I really want to get something that I can wipe the floor with.
00:05:11Oh, well, look, I can help you with that. Look, we can hit Fountaingate tomorrow.
00:05:14First thing, I'll let this everything out because, you know, I've got so much to do.
00:05:17Only two weeks till Christmas. I've got to sauce a Christmas tree,
00:05:20settle on a tinsel theme tootsweet. Oh, back to life, back to reality. But, you
00:05:25know, I love Christmas, Kim. It's so exciting. Can you grab those bags for me?
00:05:28Bring them up. Thank you, Kim. Kim?
00:05:38See you, Kat. Oh, bye, Brett. Oh, you look great. I like
00:05:41that khaki suit. Yeah, it's a kick out of us.
00:05:45Oh, muddy paws, muddy paws. Bye, babe.
00:05:47Twisty fingers. See you, Kel. All right, Brett.
00:05:50Bloody Pete. Paper missing again. Oh, there it is, Kel. I can see it's in
00:05:55the guttering. I'll have to get it later.
00:05:59Oh, hey, Kel. Hey, Sharon. Oh, no. Are you not going out? Oh, no.
00:06:06What's happened to your wrist, Sharon? Is that your carpal tunnel flaring up
00:06:09again? Oh, no, Mrs. D. It's my CSI from too much
00:06:12computer. Actually, that's why I'm here. I was wondering if I could use yours.
00:06:15I've got a virus. Oh, yeah, go for it. The back door's open. And by the way, the
00:06:18trip was marvellous. Thanks for asking. Oh, sorry, Mrs. D. How was it?
00:06:21I'm only joshing you, Sharon. I'll bend your ear hole later. What do you need
00:06:25the computer for? Oh, I'm internet dating. I've made a
00:06:28vow. I'm not going to spend Christmas on my own again.
00:06:31Oh, so we're going to have to buy the turkey this year? Kim.
00:06:35Anyway, I've got to go. I've got guys to Google. Oh, well, you go Google, girl.
00:06:39Thanks, Mrs. D. Gee, internet dating. I hope Sharon's careful.
00:06:43There's a lot of loonies out there. Yeah, Sharon will be right then.
00:06:47Now, sweets, don't go too mad at the shop. Oh, are you kidding, Kel? I've got so much
00:06:51to buy. I've got my wrapping paper, gift tags, sticky tape. I do not want to know.
00:07:05Mum, why do you have to get the tree first? Because, Kim, if I'd left it in there later,
00:07:25I would have only got to bend you one. Oh, look, let's go in there. I want to get
00:07:28my table decor. Oh, hello. Do you sell Chrissy-themed serviettes?
00:07:40No, we sell napkins, but you'll need to go to Manchester.
00:07:43Manchester? Really? Down the back.
00:07:47Napri, same to you. Hi, Prude. I got here as soon as I could.
00:07:53Hi, Prude. How's the court case going?
00:07:57Not great. Adrian's resigning off every company he's ever had preferential shares in.
00:08:02Bloody arsehick. I know, they're just bullies.
00:08:05They've been sniffing around Marissa. Graham's had to go and put in a bloody
00:08:08wrap so he can call it a special facility. I mean, he's ruined my whole facade.
00:08:13Oh, no, Prude. Well, you know, you can just grow something over that, you know,
00:08:17like a bourg and villa or something. Oh, yes, or a truck or a van.
00:08:21I'll get Paul onto that. Yes.
00:08:23Oh, poor Adrian. Oh, no, Prude, not poor Adrian.
00:08:27I have no sympathy for him. You know, he gets on a few balls and he goes mad with pa.
00:08:32Oh, Graham's the same. Pa, pa, pa. They love it.
00:08:35I know, they're all arseholes. And did I tell you all those lovely
00:08:39whitelists he gave me for my birthday have had to go back to the National Gallery.
00:08:42Oh. I know.
00:08:44So how are you living? Hand them off? Absolutely. Adrian is still trading,
00:08:49though, through his secret Swiss accounts. But, you know, I'm just glad I'm working,
00:08:54that's for sure. Yes, your two hours a week here must really
00:08:57help the coffin. They do.
00:08:59No, Prude, I hate to talk work, but this morning we've got that awful gag from Blanco.
00:09:04Oh, no, he's so melee, Mars. He always talks bosh.
00:09:08I know, he makes me want to gag it all. Oh, Prude, they do.
00:09:13Oh, no, I see four of hers back. What is she doing down there?
00:09:18I know, and with her tree. Don't you think she could get it delivered?
00:09:21I don't think they deliver where she lives. Oh, Prude, you're dreadfully dreadful.
00:09:34Bloody joker. Could have killed me. I'm taking your number.
00:09:38Euro's 44.
00:09:48Oh, God. Oh, look, Mum, another present I got for
00:09:52Eponine. It's the bath book version of the Da Vinci case.
00:09:55Oh. Look, it squeaks when you press the albino.
00:09:59Right, well, who do I still need to buy for, Kim? I've got my health professionals, my
00:10:03physio, my osteo, my chiro, my gyno. They're all getting bottles of cockfighter, so that's done.
00:10:09Now, my service providers. I've got my postie, my garbo, my recycles man, Coles Online guy.
00:10:14I still need to get something for them. You've still got to get something good for
00:10:17Brett. You know, he's really into labels now. Oh, really? What, stick on or iron on?
00:10:21Because we can go down to Officeworks for that. No, Mum, it's clothes. Designer labels.
00:10:25You know, Dolce & Gabbana, Tony Helpinger, Louise Vuitton.
00:10:29Oh, gee, who's he? Dressing to impress. Actually, I've got Brett's present. It's great.
00:10:33It's the John Grisham Newey, the firm client. Actually, that sounds a bit more like Kel,
00:10:38doesn't it? What Brett doesn't read at the moment. Now he's a workaholic.
00:10:41Yeah, I've noticed. He's very driven at the moment, isn't he, Kim? I have to say,
00:10:44I think it suits him. He did look very spunky going off in his Hugo Boss this morning.
00:10:48Yeah, he's got his sights set on the top. You know, eventually, he wants to be owner-manager.
00:10:53Oh, well, that's where the kudos is, Kim. You know, being a franchisee.
00:10:59Gee, one day I'd like to be a franchisee, Kim. Yeah, well, you look more like a chimpanzee today.
00:11:06What? Don't be stupid. Could I be not? Anyway, I've got to go and get your present.
00:11:11Where? Where are you going? I'll be in the $2 shop.
00:11:13Oh, all right. Well, I'm going down to Snappy Legs, so I'll see you down there. I've got to
00:11:17get a new sports bra for my Strictly Dancing class tonight. Bye.
00:11:22Bye.
00:11:33Oh, how's it going, Sharon? Have you met anybody yet?
00:11:36Oh, no, not really, Mrs D. Just a couple of lukewarm nibbles.
00:11:40Oh, well, whatever you do love, don't put your photo up.
00:11:42Oh, I already have. Why? Do you think it would put people off?
00:11:47Oh, no, Sharon. You've got a very pretty face. It wasn't full-length, though, was it?
00:11:50No.
00:11:51No. Oh, well, I'm just thinking for security, love, you know.
00:11:53Oh, okay.
00:11:56Ta-da!
00:11:58Oh, my God, Kim.
00:12:00What? Nothing?
00:12:02That looks nice, love. Turn around. What are you holding your arms out like that for, Kim?
00:12:07It's my tander can spray. It's nice, isn't it?
00:12:10Yeah, it is. It's different. It's orange.
00:12:12It is, yeah. It's orange.
00:12:13Yeah, it goes perfect with the red.
00:12:14Yeah.
00:12:15Is that for Brett's drinks tonight?
00:12:16Yep. I'm going to be rubbing shoulders with middle management,
00:12:19and Brett is finally going to introduce me to the UFO of the company.
00:12:23Oh, Kim, you're just rubbing shoulders with my wallet present. Come on,
00:12:25get a chucks and wipe that off, please.
00:12:28Oh, my God, Kim. You've missed a big patch on your back.
00:12:31What?
00:12:32Your fake tan.
00:12:34Yeah, well, that's the look I'm going for, Sharon.
00:12:36Yeah. Yeah, correct. Correct.
00:12:38Where have you been?
00:12:40No, no, get rid of him. We can do that now. No, no warnings. All right, see you tonight.
00:12:47Oh, hello, Christmas. I can smell your testosterone from here, Brett.
00:12:51Oh, Mum, revolting.
00:12:52That's my Ralph Lauren. Who are you wearing, Kim?
00:12:55Brett, we're supposed to be there at 6.30.
00:12:58I SMSed you as soon as I heard. Partners are uninvited.
00:13:02What?
00:13:02Kim, you have to check your phone.
00:13:04I do check my phone, Brett, every five minutes, and I did not get a text from anyone today.
00:13:09What do you mean partners have been uninvited?
00:13:11It's part of the new workplace agreement.
00:13:13Partners are now outlawed from workplace drinks and or slash nibbles.
00:13:16Oh, Brett, I think I got that text.
00:13:19Did you miss it?
00:13:20Yeah.
00:13:20Oh, I still haven't figured this phone out.
00:13:22Do you mean I can't come? Oh, you're so selfish.
00:13:26Oh, Kim, look, it's not Brett's fault. If you're going to blame anybody, blame John Howard.
00:13:30Who?
00:13:32Kim.
00:13:32No, Brett, let me finish. You've had your say.
00:13:35I've worked my guts out for these drinks tonight.
00:13:37I've had my nails refilled. I've had my Botox shots, which you have not even mentioned.
00:13:42Sorry, Kim, they look great.
00:13:43Have you got partner shame, Brett?
00:13:45When have I ever embarrassed you? When? Just tell me, one time.
00:13:49Actually, Kim, you know, there was that last drinks, remember,
00:13:52when Brett was trying to impress that big client from Samsung,
00:13:54and you came up and your top fell off when you were blind?
00:13:57I was not blind, and that was a wardrobe malfunction.
00:14:01I've got to run. I've got to change my top.
00:14:04Well, run then. Go to your stupid party.
00:14:06Yes, I'll put my caliber top on.
00:14:11Hey, girls, anyone for salsa? You right for dance class, doll?
00:14:16Oh, Kel, you look gorgeous. You look just like Tom McKinney.
00:14:19And you'd make a very respectable Nikki Webster if you grew your hair a bit.
00:14:24You look bigger. You got up a size.
00:14:26Oh, no, Kel, they're these. Look, I bought them today. Aren't they great?
00:14:29They feel so real.
00:14:31Look what I got today. They're for our hip-hop street rap routine.
00:14:35They're reflector.
00:14:36Kel, what a fabulous idea.
00:14:38And look, we can wear them now because we're going to walk,
00:14:40and it is going to get dark soon.
00:14:41I need to put the pins out.
00:14:42Oh, do you? Oh, hang on, Kel, I've got another bag here.
00:14:44Okay.
00:14:47So, you a desperate housewife tonight, Kim?
00:14:52What is that supposed to mean?
00:14:53Oh, Kel, no.
00:14:55It's a joke.
00:14:56Yeah, but your timing's way out, love.
00:14:58Here, take this. Oh, bum, it's split.
00:15:00Oh, bum, it's leaking.
00:15:01Quick, quick, quick, quick.
00:15:02Oi.
00:15:06I really am sorry, Kim.
00:15:10You're not talking to me, Kim.
00:15:12Yes, I'm not talking to you.
00:15:13And while I'm at it, you know what you're like.
00:15:15Just don't come walking in the door later legless.
00:15:22Five, six, seven, eight.
00:15:24And cross, and go.
00:15:26And one, and two.
00:15:28Dolphin, get the dolphin.
00:15:33Give it to him, give it to him.
00:15:34It's fantastic.
00:15:36Get to it, get really to it.
00:15:48Little less showmanship, Kath.
00:15:50A little more technique.
00:15:52Kel, I like your tune.
00:15:54Thanks, Heather.
00:15:58Gee, Kath, you've got an oily back.
00:16:01What, Kel? I can't help that.
00:16:03Oh, no, it's a compliment.
00:16:04I mean, your back bends.
00:16:05Always knew you were flexible, but wow.
00:16:08All right, everyone, gather round.
00:16:09I've got a little announcement to make.
00:16:11Very exciting.
00:16:16I can't believe what a complete hoe I look in this dress.
00:16:19I got a few bites tonight.
00:16:21Well, get your cortisone cream.
00:16:23No, Kim, I mean more internet dating.
00:16:26I gave everyone my home phone number.
00:16:28So, you know, here's hoping.
00:16:30It's a crime against humanity to keep this locked up.
00:16:33Maybe I'll just go to the stupid party.
00:16:36No, Kim, don't.
00:16:38You and Brett have been getting up one another's goats lately, I've noticed.
00:16:42And I wouldn't push it if I were you.
00:16:44Sharon, why would I take relationship advice from you?
00:16:48I've had more boyfriends than you've had hot dinners.
00:16:52Actually, that could be right.
00:16:53Kim, why can't I meet someone like Shane?
00:16:58Who?
00:16:59Shane.
00:17:00Shane Warne.
00:17:01I'm reading his newie SMS and cry for help.
00:17:05Oh, he's such a spunk.
00:17:07Can't see it myself.
00:17:09Why do you like Warne so much?
00:17:12Well, he's not choosy at all.
00:17:15So I figure I'd be in with a chance.
00:17:17I mean, he pretty much goes for anything on two legs.
00:17:20And I have them.
00:17:22I'm more of a ghillie girl myself.
00:17:24Yeah, he's like Brett.
00:17:25You know, a long, cool drink of water.
00:17:28And just like Brett, wouldn't even think of looking at another girl.
00:17:50Ha ha, very funny, Brett.
00:17:52Totally in a progression.
00:17:53There's more.
00:17:54There's more, babe.
00:17:55We're ghillie.
00:17:59We're ghillie.
00:18:12Hey, Sharon.
00:18:13Brett just sent me a naughty text.
00:18:15Look.
00:18:18Girls!
00:18:19Kimmy, Sharon, guess what?
00:18:20Exciting news!
00:18:21What's happening, Mrs Du?
00:18:22You won't believe it.
00:18:23Our dance class, Sharon, has been chosen to be the dancers at Carols by Candlelight.
00:18:29And guess who we're backing up?
00:18:30Who?
00:18:31Michael Bublé!
00:18:32Who?
00:18:33Michael Bublé, Kim.
00:18:35You know, the two-time Vogue East performer.
00:18:37Sometimes your ignorance astounds me, Kim.
00:18:39Oh, Michael Bublé.
00:18:40He's a swank.
00:18:42Absolutely.
00:18:42You know, I bought his new CD overseas.
00:18:44I tell you, there is no other man on God's green earth who puts my buttons the way Michael Bublé does.
00:18:48Hey, I don't like the sound of that, Kat.
00:18:50Oh, no.
00:18:51Sorry, love.
00:18:51Carol, this time you just do not rate.
00:18:54Oh, my God!
00:18:55Look at the time!
00:18:56I've got to get home and check my messages.
00:18:58See ya!
00:18:58Oh, Kimmy.
00:18:59Actually, look, come upstairs while I take my face off and I'll tell you all about it.
00:19:02Oh, it's going to be so exciting.
00:19:03He's going to do spray.
00:19:04You know, he's hit single.
00:19:05And we're going to do the darts and the raps and the...
00:19:11Double ladies, rock on, man!
00:19:17I'll go up.
00:19:18See ya.
00:19:22Oh, my God.
00:19:27Wow!
00:19:28Wow!
00:19:31Oh, Sabo.
00:19:34Oh, thanks.
00:19:36Excuse me, could I have the boy toy, please?
00:19:49Oh, jeez, it's early.
00:19:50We've got to keep going?
00:19:51You can get on, buddy.
00:19:51Yeah, we're going to go.
00:19:52Shona, where's good to go?
00:19:54Hairy Canary.
00:19:54Yeah!
00:19:55No, no, no, no, Hairy Canary's closed.
00:19:56It's closed.
00:19:58Oh, hey, hey, hey.
00:19:59Where are you going?
00:20:00We can get on.
00:20:00No, I can't tonight, Brett.
00:20:02I've got stacks of stuff to do tomorrow.
00:20:04Nah, you are coming.
00:20:05Uh, Mountain View Hotel.
00:20:06Mountain View, Mountain View!
00:20:07No, no, I'm going to sleep.
00:20:10All right, love you.
00:20:11Fair enough, see ya.
00:20:12Bye-bye.
00:20:13Paws.
00:20:13Goodbye.
00:20:22Good night, Brett.
00:20:25Merry Christmas, Kelly.
00:20:27Brett.
00:20:48Can I see your cab?
00:20:49No, Brett.
00:20:51Not a good idea.
00:20:52Are you okay, Brett?
00:20:54Never better.
00:21:21Who's there?
00:21:24Brett, bloody stinks.
00:21:26What's, what's going on?
00:21:28Brett's chucked in the dooner.
00:21:30Poor Brett.
00:21:32Poor Brett, it's all in my hair.
00:21:34Sorry.
00:21:35Yuck, it's spilling on the carpet.
00:21:38Take it easy.
00:21:40Brett!
00:21:44When marimba rhythms start to play,
00:21:48sway with me, make me sway.
00:21:52That's a pretty song, Kat.
00:21:56Sway with me, sway with me.
00:21:58Oh, shh, Kel.
00:22:00What do you mean?
00:22:01I've got a good voice.
00:22:03Yeah, you're all right.
00:22:04But you're no Michael Burglow.
00:22:07Is that another new suit?
00:22:09Oh, here he is.
00:22:10You're looking guilty as hell, Brett.
00:22:12What?
00:22:12Heard you got up to a bit of no good last night.
00:22:15No, who said that, Kat?
00:22:15Who said that?
00:22:16Oh, no, I mean you just had one too many.
00:22:18Gee, put the phone down, Russell.
00:22:20You better go.
00:22:21Kelly will have your balls for breakfast.
00:22:23Yeah, better go.
00:22:25Oh, you still reek.
00:22:27Do I?
00:22:30Oof, there goes trouble.
00:22:33Kimmy, hurry up.
00:22:34I want to get to Target really early to get my sticky tape
00:22:37before we go see Santa.
00:22:45Hi, Prue.
00:22:46Got your grande skinny.
00:22:47Oh, Trude, I can't pay you for that.
00:22:49Oh, it's fine.
00:22:51I'll just write it down.
00:22:53Here.
00:22:54Seen the papers today?
00:22:56Oh, don't, Trude.
00:22:57It's all lies.
00:22:58It's the bloody tall poppy symbol.
00:23:00I know.
00:23:01So, Prue, Saturday night?
00:23:03Oh, can't wait.
00:23:04Adrian and I are so looking forward to a boozy night of coots.
00:23:07It's going to be a hoot.
00:23:08Just be great to get out of crayon coat.
00:23:10Right, just on that.
00:23:12Look, I just think we'd be more comfortable if you didn't come.
00:23:15You know, I'm already thinking of you.
00:23:17You know, and Graham can't afford to be seen with Adrian at the morrow.
00:23:21Do you hate me?
00:23:23Look, no, I don't, actually.
00:23:25I totally understand, Trude, because I do the same.
00:23:28I think we all have to lay low at the moment, you know,
00:23:31and just until the feds stop bugging us.
00:23:33Right.
00:23:34So, Prue, do you think Adrian will do tame?
00:23:38Well, yes.
00:23:38Well, no.
00:23:39Look, we just don't know.
00:23:40But, you know, if he has to go to jail, Trude,
00:23:42I'm just going to be totally organised, you know.
00:23:45Like, I'm reading Martha Stewart's new...
00:23:46Have you read it?
00:23:47No.
00:23:48It's great.
00:23:48It's called 101 Things to Do Inside.
00:23:51And it's got it all, you know.
00:23:52Like, it's got Petty Point for Petty Creams, which is great.
00:23:56And this is great.
00:23:56It's Country Craft for Crafty.
00:23:58Can I help you?
00:23:59No.
00:24:00You know, I've already started collecting stuff.
00:24:03Like, I've got some throws that are going to look great on those cute little metal bunks.
00:24:06Oh, God, you're good.
00:24:07You're such a cool cookie.
00:24:09Actually, speaking of cookies, Trude, have you seen these Christmas cookie cutters?
00:24:14Aren't they just too fun?
00:24:15Oh, they're so cute.
00:24:18What I'm going to do, I think, is going to wrap those up
00:24:20and put them under the stock brokers in Christmas giving tree.
00:24:22I think that'd be great.
00:24:23No.
00:24:24Bye-bye.
00:24:25Bye-bye.
00:24:26Got to get out of Fountain Gate, Trude.
00:24:37Oh, that dress keeps riding up, Kim.
00:24:39Don't.
00:24:41Oh, it's from Brett.
00:24:42Listen to this.
00:24:43Sorry about last night, babes.
00:24:44So you should be.
00:24:46I'll bring you a bruffin and a skinny latte.
00:24:48What did he do?
00:24:50Not going to reply.
00:24:51Stuff him.
00:24:52No, I wouldn't be playing the cold shoulder role too often with Brett, you know, Kim.
00:24:55The way he's presenting himself at the moment, he's a most irresistible package.
00:24:58Oh, give it a bone, Mum.
00:25:01Now, Kim, which ones do you reckon?
00:25:03These little mini flashing Santas?
00:25:05Or the mini candy canes?
00:25:06Which ones?
00:25:08The candy canes.
00:25:08Candy canes?
00:25:09They're nice.
00:25:09Yeah, they are different.
00:25:10Yeah, yeah, they're subtle.
00:25:12Yeah, they are subtle, I reckon.
00:25:14Yeah, OK.
00:25:16Come on.
00:25:20Straighten those joysticks for me, Shara.
00:25:22Thanks.
00:25:24BC, what about you?
00:25:26You must be feeling shocking.
00:25:28Excuse me?
00:25:29No, buddy.
00:25:31There's a customer over there.
00:25:36Go.
00:25:38Go.
00:25:42Go.
00:26:03Look at the way that child is running that mother round her little finger.
00:26:07She shouldn't be allowed to get away with that.
00:26:10Mum, can I have a giant Wonka bar?
00:26:12No, you can't.
00:26:14Please, I haven't had anything all day.
00:26:16No, you just had a packet of Nerds, Kim.
00:26:18Oh, you're so mean.
00:26:19I'm starving.
00:26:20Please.
00:26:21Please.
00:26:21I said no.
00:26:24I hate you.
00:26:26Kimmy.
00:26:27Kim, look at me, please.
00:26:28Look at me.
00:26:28Look at me.
00:26:30Now, I've got one word to say to you, Kim.
00:26:33Oh, yes, all right.
00:27:13Oh.
00:27:21You and your waters.
00:27:22You don't know.
00:27:23We don't have to jump down the neck, Kim.
00:27:25I'm just saying you look guilty as sin.
00:27:27I mean, I don't know what Brett's like.
00:27:29Especially after he's had a few.
00:27:30He's just all forgetting things and he's wandering away.
00:27:33Mum, Brett is not having an affair.
00:27:35Why would he go to Phillips Steak when he's got sausage meat at home?
00:27:38Yeah, Sharon, what is it?
00:27:41What?
00:27:43You all right?
00:27:44Is everything all right?
00:27:47Brett had Phillips Steak last night.
00:27:48Oh, I knew it.
00:27:50I told you.
00:27:50Sharon saw him peshing Kelly.
00:27:52Oh, Kim.
00:27:53He's so dead.
00:27:54Mind if any?
00:27:55Kim, will I see you at Sanders Castle?
00:27:58Thank you.
00:28:00Oh, bum.
00:28:01I forgot the sticky tapes.
00:28:03Look, I'll be two secs.
00:28:04Sorry.
00:28:05Sorry, excuse me.
00:28:07Sorry.
00:28:12Oh.
00:28:14Sorry.
00:28:14Which aisle is sticky tape?
00:28:16Aisle three.
00:28:17Aisle three, thank you.
00:28:21Brett?
00:28:24Brett?
00:28:26I know what you did last night.
00:28:28Kelly, I can see you pash rash from here, you mole.
00:28:32That's it, Brett.
00:28:33I want a divorce.
00:28:34D-I-V-O-R-S-E.
00:28:37I didn't do anything.
00:28:39You know, Brett, it's one thing to crack onto someone else.
00:28:42But what's hurt me more deeply than I can say
00:28:45is that you chose someone as foul as Kelly.
00:28:47Kim, shh.
00:28:48You'll get me the sack.
00:28:49The sack?
00:28:51Would it get you the sack if I did this?
00:28:55Kim, you're being crazy.
00:28:57No, Brett.
00:28:58For the first time in my life, I'm acting rashly.
00:29:00Oh, and don't bother coming home tonight, Brett.
00:29:03It's over.
00:29:04Finished.
00:29:04Burrito.
00:29:11Brett?
00:29:12Can I see you in my office, please?
00:29:23Excuse me, how long's Santa going to be?
00:29:25Because it says here he's due back at half past and it's 22 now.
00:29:28I told you before, madam.
00:29:30He's on his allocated break.
00:29:31I saw him going to the toilet, so I'm sure he won't be long.
00:29:35Santa won't be long, Epps.
00:29:36He's just gone to the toot.
00:29:43Santa must be doing number two, Epps.
00:29:47Oh, here's mummy.
00:29:47What did you say to him, Kim?
00:29:48What happened?
00:29:49We're separating.
00:29:50I've kicked him out.
00:29:51Oh, Kim, here we go again.
00:29:54Oh.
00:29:54No, mum.
00:29:55This time's for real.
00:29:56Brett's a bald-headed liar.
00:29:57And as of now, this little fat duck is officially single
00:30:01and back on the meat market.
00:30:03The meat market?
00:30:04Well, who's going to want to buy a marbled old piece of rump
00:30:06like yours, Kim?
00:30:08Plenty of good meat, Kim.
00:30:09Hi, Santa.
00:30:10I'm Kimberley.
00:30:11What's your name?
00:30:32It's weird.
00:30:32I'm already over Brett.
00:30:34I'm not sure I want to be friends with him.
00:30:36I'm not sure I want to be friends with him.
00:30:37It's weird.
00:30:38I'm already over Brett.
00:30:39I've grown so much in the last day.
00:30:42You wouldn't believe it.
00:30:43I feel so calm and in control.
00:30:46Brett's the one who's freaking.
00:30:47He's really cut up.
00:30:49And it's funny, because now so are his clothes.
00:30:57Well, who sent a kill?
00:30:59I don't know.
00:31:00And why is it slashed?
00:31:02I guess that's poor old cash-strapped Australia Post.
00:31:08And grind.
00:31:09And around.
00:31:10And lower, lower.
00:31:16Back out a little.
00:31:18Keep it in your pants.
00:31:19Oh, no, Kim.
00:31:20It's the lamb butter.
00:31:32So, Kim, how's Brett coping since you turfed him out?
00:31:35Is he enjoying the Buckingham Motel?
00:31:37Because I've heard it's very good.
00:31:43No, Kel.
00:31:45So, Kim, how is your and Brett's separation going?
00:31:48You know, Sharon, for someone who never has had
00:31:51and never will have a whiff of a guy,
00:31:52you're very interested in sticking your nose
00:31:54in everyone else's business.
00:31:56Kim, bite your tongue, or I'll come over there
00:31:58and bite it for you.
00:32:00You just wait, Kim.
00:32:01I will so have a whiff of a guy before Christmas.
00:32:04Actually, look, people, speaking of Christmas,
00:32:05while I've got you all here, I want you to all sit down.
00:32:08I want to power out the Christy lunch, OK?
00:32:10Come on, Kim, sit down.
00:32:11Sharon, can you log off now, please?
00:32:13Come on.
00:32:14I'll do this now.
00:32:15It'll be good.
00:32:16Right, I have decided,
00:32:17what, with my myriad of commitments this year,
00:32:19I do not want to be lumbered with the lot.
00:32:21So I'm going to relegate.
00:32:23Now, Sharon, I've got you down here
00:32:25to provide a one two-litre bottle of Sprite.
00:32:28And also, Sharon, can you look out for icebergs
00:32:30in the next couple of weeks, please?
00:32:32Icebergs?
00:32:32Yeah, lettuces, Sharon.
00:32:33Just icebergs this year.
00:32:35I'm over Asian greens.
00:32:36They're just too fiddly.
00:32:37Will do, Mrs D.
00:32:38Now, I'm going to provide all the breadsticks
00:32:40and Kel and I are turkey and chook, respectively.
00:32:42That sounds about right.
00:32:43And I'm going all free range this year.
00:32:45Oh, God, with the way my hormones are at the moment,
00:32:47I do not want to be ingesting any more.
00:32:49Actually, Cathy, you need me here for this
00:32:51because I might pop in the shower.
00:32:52Yeah, that's OK, doll.
00:32:53You are a bit woofy.
00:32:55Speaking of which, seafood.
00:32:57Now, Kim, I've got you down to provide prawns.
00:32:59I think four per person should do us.
00:33:01Seafood's sexy.
00:33:02I'm a single mum now.
00:33:03You know, peeled prawns are 30 bucks a kilo.
00:33:06Well, Kimmy, get unpeeled then.
00:33:08No way.
00:33:09I am not spending my Christmas morning
00:33:11getting poo out of prawns.
00:33:12All right, then.
00:33:12We'll just get some seafood extender.
00:33:14That'll be right.
00:33:15Now, partner-wise, Kim, will you be bringing somebody?
00:33:18Yes.
00:33:19Don't worry about me.
00:33:20I'll be bringing someone with bells on.
00:33:22Right, OK.
00:33:23And Sharon, love, how are you going?
00:33:25Any luck?
00:33:26Oh, Sharon, you're very unlucky in love, aren't you?
00:33:31Right, so single.
00:33:33That's awkward.
00:33:34Might put you on your own.
00:33:36Make a mental note, Kath.
00:33:38Get card table out of roof.
00:33:39OK, I think that's all.
00:33:40So I think that's done.
00:33:41Great.
00:33:48Oh, no, Sharon, love.
00:33:50I need the computer now.
00:33:51Sorry.
00:33:52I'll just go to the internet cafe, then.
00:33:54See you, Mrs. T.
00:33:55Bye, Sharon.
00:33:56OK.
00:33:56So, www.
00:34:11Back on the computer.
00:34:12Oh, look at that photo.
00:34:14Gorgeous.
00:34:16Gorgeous?
00:34:16I reckon I'm going to be a star.
00:34:18I'm going to be a star.
00:34:18I'm going to be a star.
00:34:19I'm going to be a star.
00:34:20I'm going to be a star.
00:34:21I reckon I'm a damn sight buffier than him with my shirt off.
00:34:24Listen, I'm going to take some clothes down to bread at the Buckingham Motel.
00:34:27Do you want to come?
00:34:28Oh, that's a good one.
00:34:30Michael, Michael, Michael, could you be any more divine?
00:34:34So I'll see you later, then.
00:34:36Kath, don't talk to me, then.
00:34:42You know I get into the fan club.
00:34:51Oh, for God's love, for God's love, for God's love, for God's love, for God's love, for God's love.
00:35:22G'day, Brett.
00:35:22G'day, Kel.
00:35:23Come in, mate.
00:35:24Yeah, just on my way past.
00:35:27This is a nice set-up, isn't it?
00:35:29Yeah, very nice.
00:35:30Oh, there's the tooth there, a nice-sized shower.
00:35:34Yeah, very nice.
00:35:34How's the pressure?
00:35:36What of it, huh, Kel?
00:35:37You're throwing away the best thing that ever happened to me.
00:35:40What's that?
00:35:42Oh, you mean Kim?
00:35:42Yeah.
00:35:43Oh, I've got a bit of your toast there.
00:35:48Oh, I've got a bit of your toast there.
00:35:51And a little abs.
00:35:52I think you'd better lay off the booze for a while, mate.
00:35:55You get those beer goggles on and you're anybody's.
00:35:57Yeah, I don't want to lose my family, Kel.
00:36:00I brought you some clothes from home, mate.
00:36:03Thanks, mate.
00:36:04Oh, Kim...
00:36:06Kim smashed my coochie, sonnies.
00:36:10Rory.
00:36:12So you really want to get back with Kim, mate?
00:36:16Yeah, I think so.
00:36:23Well, I don't know much, Brett, but I do know one thing,
00:36:25and that's how to impress the ladies.
00:36:27I haven't been left at the old four times for nothing,
00:36:29so listen up.
00:36:30That really is nice toast.
00:36:31Is that sourdough?
00:36:34This is Big Brother.
00:36:36All housemates to the lounge.
00:36:38Oh, I bet it's going to be me.
00:36:40Don't worry, you'll be okay.
00:36:43I'm not the pole dancer.
00:36:45She shouldn't go.
00:36:46She's ace.
00:36:47Actually, she hasn't got as good a bod as me.
00:36:49I'd be better at pole dancing than her.
00:36:51And guys love it.
00:36:53Oh, Kim, you don't need two snacks.
00:36:55It's short.
00:36:56Watching Big Brother and...
00:36:58Oh, what's happening?
00:36:59Nothing.
00:37:01Hi.
00:37:02What are you doing here?
00:37:04Uh, I've come to say sorry, Kim.
00:37:07Oh.
00:37:09Beautiful flowers for a lady.
00:37:14What are you wearing?
00:37:15That's Kelly's taste, is it?
00:37:16Oh, no, that's one of Kel's bombers.
00:37:18Oh, Brett, those anti-cancer council sunnies are doing things to me.
00:37:22Thanks, Kat.
00:37:24Kim, there's nothing going on between me and Kelly.
00:37:28She's way out of my league.
00:37:30She's pretty, thin, smart.
00:37:32I'd stop there if I were you, Brett.
00:37:34Brett, I've told you, you can't just come waltzing in here
00:37:37and expect me to roll over.
00:37:39I know.
00:37:39I know, Kim.
00:37:41I just want to say,
00:37:42I know we haven't had the happiest marriage.
00:37:45We fight all the time.
00:37:47We never have sex.
00:37:48Beautiful words, Brett.
00:37:50I just want to come home.
00:37:52You know, Brett, your passion Kelly was a blessing.
00:37:55Not for her, obviously.
00:37:57But for me.
00:37:58Because it's made me realise I can do a whole lot better
00:38:00than a wingnut and a stonewashed bomber.
00:38:03I'm still young, Brett.
00:38:04I want to have another crack.
00:38:06I've given up the alcohol.
00:38:07I promise I'll never look at another woman.
00:38:09Probably.
00:38:11Goodbye, Brett.
00:38:13And close the fly screen when you go home.
00:38:15Kim!
00:38:16Kim, come back here.
00:38:18I knew it wouldn't work.
00:38:20And that's my lucky bomber.
00:38:24Men's lad.
00:38:24Yep, I always buy the best.
00:38:27Come on, Brett.
00:38:27I'll drive you back to the Buckingham.
00:38:30Thanks, mate.
00:38:42Oh, Sharon, love, no, you can't use the computer yet.
00:38:45I'm still downloading Michael Bublé to my iPod mini.
00:38:48I've been looking up his back catalogue all morning, Sharon.
00:38:50It's huge.
00:38:51Oh, no, that's okay, Mrs D.
00:38:53I've got some news.
00:39:01I'm getting married!
00:39:04What?
00:39:04Married?
00:39:05Are you doing this to spite me?
00:39:07Oh, Sharon, it's not like that.
00:39:09It's not like that at all.
00:39:10You're doing this to spite me.
00:39:11Oh, Sharon, that's awesome news, love.
00:39:13Oh, thanks, Mrs D.
00:39:14Can I crack open the tea Maria and put on some footy for you?
00:39:17Oh, absolutely.
00:39:17Actually, no, Kimmy, you do that, please.
00:39:19Oh, Sharon, I'll spill your guts.
00:39:21What happened?
00:39:22Well, I met him on the online, Mrs D.
00:39:24Yeah?
00:39:24His name's Marriott.
00:39:26Oh, Marriott.
00:39:27And we have been chatting all day and all night.
00:39:30And you know what?
00:39:32This is the one.
00:39:34It's amazing, Mrs D.
00:39:35I mean, I've never actually met him physically, but I feel I know him so well.
00:39:39Just like I know everything about him.
00:39:42What does he do?
00:39:43I don't know.
00:39:44Well, where's he from?
00:39:45I don't know.
00:39:46What does he look like?
00:39:47I don't know.
00:39:48Oh, Sharon, that pleases me, love.
00:39:50So have you set a date?
00:39:52Boxing day.
00:39:53Oh, what, this year?
00:39:55I've got it all planned.
00:39:56We are going to the boxing day test match, of course.
00:39:59Then making our way on foot through Jollymont to the gardens where we will be married
00:40:04in Captain Cook's cottage.
00:40:06Captain Cook's cottage?
00:40:07You'll never fit in there.
00:40:08It's tiny.
00:40:10Kim?
00:40:11I think that sounds beautiful.
00:40:12Sharon?
00:40:13And Kim?
00:40:14Yes, Sharon?
00:40:16Kim, would you do me the honour of being my matron of honour?
00:40:26I hate being put on the spot like this.
00:40:28Well, what am I going to say?
00:40:29Of course I have to say yes.
00:40:31Great.
00:40:32Sharon, you're going to make a super bride, love.
00:40:34Super sized bride.
00:40:36Well, Kim, you can't talk.
00:40:37I mean, you're hardly Angelina Jolly Bob Pitt yourself.
00:40:40How much weight have you lost since having Anthony?
00:40:42None.
00:40:43Excuse me?
00:40:44I'm a yummy mummy.
00:40:46Yeah, yummy mummy with a whopping tummy.
00:40:48I heard that.
00:40:49So when do we get to see this Mr Wright?
00:40:51Well, I've sent him over the airfare.
00:40:53He's coming on Christmas day.
00:40:55Sharon, that doesn't sound too good, love.
00:40:57Oh, no, it's okay.
00:40:58I had the money saved.
00:40:59No, no, no.
00:40:59I need to know whether he's going to be here for Christmas day lunch.
00:41:02Read breadsticks.
00:41:03Because, you know, now bread's iffy.
00:41:04I mean, I don't want to be caught short.
00:41:06Or worse, over-cater and then be left with sticks on my hands.
00:41:10Oh, that's my iPod mini.
00:41:12That's finished.
00:41:12That's good.
00:41:14I've got to get my wedding dress and my shoes and organise the hen's night.
00:41:19What are we doing for that, chief bridesmaid?
00:41:22I don't know.
00:41:24Kim, I am a bit nervous about the wedding night.
00:41:28I really want to surprise him.
00:41:30I know what would really surprise this guy on your wedding night.
00:41:33It's if you did pole dancing.
00:41:36Oh, yes!
00:41:37I reckon I'd be really good at that.
00:41:39Everyone's doing it.
00:41:40Really?
00:41:41Yeah, I could teach you.
00:41:42But we might be better to go to someone who knows how to do it.
00:41:45Oh, thanks, Kim.
00:41:50Brett seems to be coping pretty well.
00:41:53You know, I think Kim's being a bit uptight, actually.
00:41:55I mean, what's an innocent pash between work colleagues?
00:41:58Hey, I don't want you getting any ideas like that, missus.
00:42:01Oh, Gil, as if I'd ever want to French kiss anybody else.
00:42:04Except for Michael Bublé, of course.
00:42:06Do me now.
00:42:10Oh, Gil, that feels really nice.
00:42:13You're tense, sweet.
00:42:14Well, you know, Gil, I'm frenetic at the moment.
00:42:16And now with Sharon's wedding,
00:42:18I'm just really scared Sharon's heading for a fall with this fellow.
00:42:22I mean, they've only known each other a couple of days.
00:42:24We hardly knew each other before we got engaged.
00:42:26Yeah, but we locked horns straight away, which I think's important.
00:42:29And your parents still do things to me.
00:42:31Oh, Gil, stop it.
00:42:33This is serious.
00:42:34I mean, what if this fellow turns out to be a psycho?
00:42:37Or worse, doesn't show up?
00:42:39Gee, you're traps, tights-weights.
00:42:41Yeah, I know.
00:42:41Loosen it up for me, will you?
00:42:43I need this.
00:42:43It's got to be right for Saturday night.
00:42:44I don't want to let Michael Bublé down.
00:42:46Actually, Gil, have you seen those falsies I bought?
00:42:49Because I need those boobs for Bublé.
00:42:51Bloody Bublé.
00:42:53Bublé this, Bublé that.
00:42:55Gil, don't say Bublé this and Bublé that, please.
00:42:59So he happens to push my buttons.
00:43:01Well, get over it, Gil.
00:43:03Do you want to come?
00:43:07Sharon?
00:43:09What have you come as?
00:43:11Well, this is my Polish national costume, Kim.
00:43:13Why?
00:43:14Oh, I said pole dancing.
00:43:17Yeah, well, I'm a pole, Kim Strzelecki.
00:43:19Well, half a pole, anyway, on my dad's side.
00:43:21No, sexy dancing with a pole.
00:43:26Well, that sounds a bit stupid, Kim.
00:43:28Oh, stupid, is it?
00:43:30So are the people on Big Brother stupid, Sharon?
00:43:32Because they all do pole dancing.
00:43:34All right, ladies, in you come.
00:43:35Find yourselves your pole.
00:43:48Brett, can I see you in my office, please?
00:44:00Shut the door, Brett.
00:44:02How are you, Kelly?
00:44:05Well, flat chat, what with all the new Christmas hours.
00:44:08Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:44:09Now, Brett, I just have to ask, how are things going at home?
00:44:12Oh, um, oh, me and Kim, we're separating.
00:44:17Right, well, that's good that I know that now,
00:44:20because I really need you to spend the night with me, Brett.
00:44:24Oh, can I?
00:44:27Really?
00:44:28Oh, babe, yeah, yeah, I'd be happy to, happy to.
00:44:32Yeah, Brody's off sick, and I need you down in software.
00:44:35Yeah, yeah, software.
00:44:40And back.
00:44:42This is really sexy, isn't it?
00:44:44Yeah.
00:44:46Step, thrust, thrust.
00:44:48Anyway, Kim, my hen's night is going to be really hot.
00:44:51All the girls from netball are going to be there,
00:44:53and all the girls from indoor cricket.
00:44:56I have some guys are coming.
00:44:58It's not looking really hot at the moment.
00:45:00Yeah, you are, Kim.
00:45:02Step.
00:45:03It's ironical, isn't it, Kim,
00:45:05that now that I'm the one who's getting married,
00:45:07while you are desperate and dateless.
00:45:10Oh, don't worry about me, Sharon.
00:45:12At your hen's night,
00:45:13guys are going to be eating putty out of my hands.
00:45:32Bye-bye.
00:45:33Thank you very much.
00:45:42Kim!
00:45:43Kim!
00:45:45Oh, wow.
00:45:46You look really gorgeous.
00:45:47I know.
00:45:48I'm loving myself sick in this outfit.
00:45:50Isn't this fantastic?
00:45:52I've always wanted to have a 1980s theme party.
00:45:54So where's your mum, Kim?
00:45:56Oh, she's looking after Anthony until Kel comes home.
00:46:02Kim!
00:46:02Sharon!
00:46:03Oh, mum!
00:46:04Hi!
00:46:05What a great costume!
00:46:07Oh, wow, Mrs D.
00:46:08You look hilarious.
00:46:09You're going to win for sure.
00:46:10Where'd you get that?
00:46:12Oh, from my wardrobe, Sharon.
00:46:14Costume?
00:46:15Yeah, it's an 80s party.
00:46:17Oh, no.
00:46:18Nobody told me.
00:46:20Oh, I would have put something funny on.
00:46:25Oh, geez, Sharon.
00:46:26I'm liking this venue.
00:46:30Stephanie, all right?
00:46:32Totally in control.
00:46:33Kel's got it sorted, Kim.
00:46:34When I left, it was beautiful.
00:46:36The two of them are sitting up on the couch watching a DVD of Meet the Cockers.
00:46:40Don't worry.
00:46:40She's fine.
00:46:43Oh, oops.
00:46:44It's a good film.
00:46:45It's Barbara Streisand.
00:46:47We love Barbara Streisand.
00:46:48Yes, we do.
00:46:49Just hang on, hang on.
00:47:02Just relax.
00:47:03Just stay there.
00:47:04You'll be all right.
00:47:05Stay there.
00:47:19You know I'm shy.
00:47:28You know I'm shy.
00:47:49You know I'm shy.
00:47:58Well, I didn't think I was strong.
00:48:02We need a long tap.
00:48:03Kristen, how much was mine?
00:48:05We're having safety.
00:48:06Ladies, stand up.
00:48:19Oh, Kim, what did the doctor say?
00:48:35She said I've cricked my neck and cracked my clack.
00:48:38Oh, Kim.
00:48:42Shut up, Mum.
00:48:42No, Kim, I've got to rehearse.
00:48:44I've got carols tonight.
00:48:45You know, Kim, I'm just so glad that I can finally put my
00:48:48Buena Vista Social Club TAFE course to good use.
00:48:52No, Epony, Mummy's not pushing you.
00:48:55Hi, Kim.
00:48:56Hi, Mrs. D.
00:48:56Oh, hi, Sharon.
00:48:57How's the hen today?
00:48:58A bit peckish, actually.
00:49:00So come on, Kim, you ready?
00:49:01No.
00:49:02Let's go.
00:49:02I've got to wait for Brett.
00:49:03He's mining Epony.
00:49:04Oh, so what's on for the bride-to-be tonight, Sharon?
00:49:07Oh, I'm going to go looking for a gown for my wedding,
00:49:09and I'm going to go looking for a guy for Christmas.
00:49:11Oh, can you better let me know?
00:49:13Because I've still got those breadstickle issues.
00:49:15Hi.
00:49:16Oh, hi, Brett.
00:49:16Hi, Brittany.
00:49:17Oh, yes, we're going to have fun today, just you and me.
00:49:20Hi, Kim.
00:49:21Come on, Sharon, let's go to Fountaingate.
00:49:23I want to inflict myself.
00:49:25Ow!
00:49:26Kel, come on.
00:49:27We've got to get to the Sydney My Music Bowl by 6.15 for the dress doll.
00:49:35Kel, I need those.
00:49:36They're not for us.
00:49:37They're for the Wiggles.
00:49:38Can't you read?
00:49:39I need to bite my head off.
00:49:41I want to have one of these drinks.
00:49:43No, they're Rhonda Birchmore's Gatorades.
00:49:45You're toey tonight.
00:49:47Yeah, well, of course I'm toey, Kel.
00:49:48I mean, that rehearsal was a fiasco.
00:49:50Everyone was out of time, except for me.
00:49:52Just chill for a minute.
00:49:53Come here, and I'll rub your oily back.
00:49:56No, no, Kel.
00:49:57Look, I think I might just pop up and say a quick chuggers to Buble.
00:50:00I think that'd be appropriate, actually.
00:50:03You better put some clothes on.
00:50:04Yes, I will.
00:50:06Hey, Dales, can you give me a hand with my zip?
00:50:08Sorry, Rhonda.
00:50:09Two in the hands.
00:50:17I must have banged my nose on that bloody pole as well.
00:50:21No, Kim, that's a carbuncle.
00:50:23Hey, Kim, do you want to see my ring?
00:50:25I bought it for my birthday.
00:50:26I'm going to have to get it fixed.
00:50:28I'm going to have to get it fixed.
00:50:29I'm going to have to get it fixed.
00:50:31I'm going to have to get it fixed.
00:50:33I'm going to have to get it fixed.
00:50:35I bought it so that people will know that I am off the market.
00:50:39Oh, there's Santa.
00:50:40I got such a vibe from him the other day.
00:50:44Thank you, Santa.
00:50:45I am.
00:50:48Hey, Kim, have you noticed the looks that I'm getting at the moment?
00:50:51Oh, Sharon as if.
00:50:53Sorry, but you're tragic.
00:50:55I am not tragic, Kim.
00:50:57I am engaged, and I really need to get a wedding dress.
00:51:00Oh, stop panicking.
00:51:01The shops are open all night.
00:51:03We'll get to Boomba bridal wear.
00:51:05That's not very nice, Kim.
00:51:07That's not what it's called.
00:51:08It's a very nice, Kim.
00:51:11G'day, Smiley.
00:51:12What would you like?
00:51:13I'll have a chicken fajita, please.
00:51:15Actually, I was talking to your friend.
00:51:17Oh, you're engaged.
00:51:19That's always the way.
00:51:23Ew!
00:51:33Oh.
00:51:35Hello.
00:51:36Oh, hi, Michael.
00:51:38My name's Cath Day-Knott.
00:51:39I'm the principal dancer for your number tonight.
00:51:41I just want to say I'm a huge fan.
00:51:43Come in, have a drink.
00:51:44Oh, thank you, Michael.
00:51:46Oh, gee, this is big, isn't it?
00:51:48Oh, you've got your own toot.
00:51:49Hello.
00:51:52Cath!
00:52:03Hello.
00:52:15G'day, mate.
00:52:16We're a bit lost.
00:52:17And we've lost Anthony.
00:52:19Have you seen him?
00:52:20No, who's Anthony?
00:52:21He's the Blue Wiggle.
00:52:23Stage management said there'd be some sandwiches here for us.
00:52:26Have you seen them?
00:52:28No.
00:52:30That's our five-minute call.
00:52:32Let's go, guys.
00:52:33Put in the oranges.
00:52:35Oranges?
00:52:35No, no.
00:52:36Bananas.
00:52:40Are you blind?
00:52:41This is a men's shop.
00:52:43I know that, Kim.
00:52:45It's a surprise for Marius.
00:52:47I'm buying him a whole new outfit.
00:52:53Can I help you?
00:52:55Oh, I'm getting married in two days.
00:52:56Congratulations.
00:52:57Thank you.
00:52:58My fiance needs a new suit.
00:53:00Not a problem.
00:53:00What size is it?
00:53:01I don't know.
00:53:02Well, it's all right.
00:53:03Is he, say, taller than me?
00:53:05I don't know.
00:53:07Okay, well, what's his favourite colour?
00:53:09Beige?
00:53:09Powder blue?
00:53:10Is he an apricot man?
00:53:12I don't know.
00:53:13Terrific.
00:53:14I'll just leave you to it, shall I?
00:53:16Excuse me.
00:53:17Are you married?
00:53:19No.
00:53:20Would you like to have Christmas lunch with me?
00:53:23No.
00:53:25Oh, twisty fingers.
00:53:29Yeah, took us, Michael.
00:53:32Kath?
00:53:33What have you been doing in there?
00:53:34You've been gone for ages.
00:53:35Nothing, Kel.
00:53:36Michael just invited me in for a nice drink and a sandwich.
00:53:39Did he just?
00:53:40I know his type.
00:53:41Where is this clown?
00:53:43Kel, that's our five-minute call, doll.
00:53:44I've got to go.
00:53:45Come on, I'm not even dressed.
00:53:46You'll keep, boo-boy.
00:53:52Hey, thanks for your help back there, Kath.
00:53:54You're obviously an old pro from way back.
00:53:56Oh, right back at you, mister.
00:53:58Kath, remember, save the last dance for me.
00:54:02I'm so there.
00:54:19One, two, three, four, ladies and gentlemen.
00:54:26And now, will you please welcome the one and only Mr. Michael Bublé
00:54:29and the mature-age students from the Jazzy Bee Dance Studio with Sway.
00:54:49Oh, when marimba rhythms start to play Dance with me, make me sway
00:54:56Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore Hold me close, sway me more
00:55:04Like a flower bending in the breeze Bend with me, sway with me
00:55:11Oh, when we dance, you've got a way with me Stay with me, sway with me
00:55:19Other dancers may be on the floor But, dear, my eyes will see only you
00:55:27Only you have that magic technique When we sway like a wheat
00:55:36Come on!
00:55:42What do you think, Kim?
00:55:44It's a bit tight.
00:55:44I can't walk very well.
00:55:46I can't hovel low.
00:55:47I did, Kim.
00:55:49I really love it.
00:55:51Oh, my God.
00:55:53I know, it's really nice, isn't it?
00:55:55Oh, that is so funny.
00:55:58Oh, wear that, Sharon.
00:55:59Wear that.
00:56:00I don't want to look funny, Kim.
00:56:02I want to look pretty.
00:56:03Oh, come on, Sharon.
00:56:04You're never going to look pretty.
00:56:06That's it, Kim.
00:56:08I've had enough.
00:56:09I'm not putting up with any more of your abuse.
00:56:12I've done everything for you.
00:56:14I put my career on hold.
00:56:16I could have been anything if I'd had the talent.
00:56:18But instead, I have come around to your house every single day and been your scapegoat.
00:56:24Well, I have got some home truths for you, Kimberley, Diane, Craig, Ne-Day.
00:56:29You are not a hornbag.
00:56:32And, in fact, you look a whole lot older than what you say you are.
00:56:37And look around, Kimmy.
00:56:39Guys are not lining up to eat putty out of your hand.
00:56:42Oh, so what are you saying, Sharon?
00:56:44They're eating putty out of my hand in my head.
00:56:46Unlike me, Kim, you can't even get anyone, not even Brett.
00:56:52Thin ice, Sharon.
00:56:56Since I've met Marriott, his love and support has given me the strength to stand up to you, Kim.
00:57:02Marriott?
00:57:03Marriott?
00:57:04You haven't even met Marriott, Sharon.
00:57:07Take that back!
00:57:10I am warning you, Kim, if you say one more thing about Marriott, I swear I will kill you!
00:57:16Do you hear me?
00:57:18I will kill you!
00:57:39Make me thrill, there's only you know how
00:57:43Sway me smooth, sway me now
00:57:46When marimba rhythms start to play
00:57:50Dance with me, make me sway
00:57:54Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
00:57:58Hold me close, sway me more
00:58:04Like a flower bending in the breeze
00:58:08Sway with me, sway with me
00:58:12When we dance, you've got to wail with me
00:58:16Stay with me, sway with me
00:58:19When marimba rhythms start to play
00:58:23Hold me close, make me sway
00:58:27Like an ocean hugs the shore
00:58:31Hold me close, sway me more
00:58:34Like a flower bending in the breeze
00:58:38Sway with me, sway with me
00:58:42When we dance, you've got to wail with me
00:58:46Stay with me, sway with me
00:58:58Kim! Kim!
00:59:00What the hell are you doing out there?
00:59:03What's your story?
00:59:04Michael Bublé could have been seriously injured
00:59:06He could sue us
00:59:08You put it out there, Kath
00:59:10Put what out where?
00:59:12Come on, Kath
00:59:13You wear those foxy high-waisted jeans
00:59:15Your see-through blouse
00:59:16You put it out there and you damn well know it
00:59:19I do not know it
00:59:21If I knew I knew it, I wouldn't do it, would I?
00:59:23You're just being paranoid, Kel
00:59:25I'm not being paranoid, Kath
00:59:27I need some air
00:59:28Kel, don't walk away from me, please
00:59:31Please?
00:59:32Well, you needn't bother coming home tonight
00:59:35You won't be welcome
00:59:42Could you tell me the correct time, please?
00:59:466.45 in the morning
00:59:49I've been up shopping all night
00:59:52I'm getting married
00:59:54Completely over the limit
00:59:56Well, not a cent
00:59:57No, it looks about right
00:59:59No, I'm happy to
01:00:00Oh, thank you
01:00:01Bye-bye
01:00:02The bank's instructed me to do this to your credit card
01:00:07And that comes in a cute complimentary Christmas box
01:00:10Thank you
01:00:10Bye-bye
01:00:15Prue, congratulations
01:00:17I've just been reading about it in the paper
01:00:20So what happened?
01:00:20Oh, hi, Prude
01:00:22Oh, you know, Adrian just did a deal
01:00:24And the court's granted him immunity
01:00:26Your hair looks great in this photo
01:00:29I'm so pleased for you, Prude
01:00:32Oh, thanks, Prude
01:00:33And you know, it has absolutely restored my faith in the justice system
01:00:37So what happened?
01:00:38What sort of deal did he do?
01:00:39Oh, you know, he just rolled over and name-named
01:00:41Oh, what?
01:00:42Who?
01:00:43Oh, well, you know, everyone we know
01:00:45Well, not Graham
01:00:47Oh, yes, I think so
01:00:48Oh, Christ, I've got to go
01:00:50Where are you going?
01:00:52I'm going to go home and hide my walls
01:00:54Oh, all right
01:00:55Bye-bye, Prude
01:00:57See you at Kurt's
01:00:58Horn off
01:01:10Bloody Sharon, I am not mean
01:01:13Mummy is a hornbagger, aren't I, Epony?
01:01:15No
01:01:16You little...
01:01:17You said your first word
01:01:18Say it again, say it again
01:01:21No
01:01:22Mum, Epony just said her first word
01:01:25Oh, let's not ask him
01:01:26But I've got his tears at the moment
01:01:28Kel and I have separated
01:01:30So have Sharon and me
01:01:32So what happened?
01:01:33Kel's green-eyed monster, that's what happened, Kim
01:01:36Reared its ugly head big time last night
01:01:38Ew
01:01:39Well, I wouldn't expect you to understand, Kim
01:01:41Because guys don't naturally flock to you
01:01:43But they seem to go insanely jealous over me
01:01:46I don't know, I've got this aphrodisiac that does things to them
01:01:50Anyway, Kel lost it last night big time
01:01:54I've chucked him out
01:01:55He's gone to the Buckingham
01:01:56I have to say, now you've split up, I never liked him
01:01:59He's tragic
01:02:01His hair, his zip-up shoes
01:02:04The way he eats his yoghurt and muesli
01:02:06His shorty dressing gown
01:02:06Oh, stop it, Kim, stop it
01:02:08Oh, you're just reminding me of his myriad of virile ways
01:02:12Oh, Kath, you've been a fool
01:02:18Kim, you'll have to drive me over there to the Buckingham
01:02:20I've got to go back to him
01:02:21Quick, get your keys and drive me
01:02:22I can't possibly drive, I'm too upset
01:02:27Yeah, you kicked me once during the night
01:02:33But besides that, I slept beautifully
01:02:36Well, looks like we're both in a doghouse now, eh, Kel?
01:02:39Yeah, my jealousy could have cost me my marriage
01:02:42You know, I went deep inside myself last night, Brent
01:02:45Yeah, I heard you
01:02:47And I realised that I don't own Kath
01:02:49Oh, she can't help being a fox
01:02:51And I know now more than ever that I can't live without her
01:02:55She's my H2O
01:02:57You must feel the same way about Kim
01:02:59You must want to wake up, turn over
01:03:01And see that face staring back at you
01:03:03Every single morning for the rest of your life
01:03:06Hear that voice in your earhole
01:03:08Every second of every day, day in, day out
01:03:11Till the day you die
01:03:13Gives you a warm feeling inside, doesn't it, mate?
01:03:19Would you stop texting, please? It's dangerous
01:03:21Shut up, Mum, I'm getting a new ringtone
01:03:23Oh, Kim, look, there's the newsagents
01:03:25I might deliver Peter's present while we're here
01:03:27Oh, good
01:03:30Yeah, just slow down here a bit, that's great
01:03:34Merry Christmas, Peter!
01:03:53Oh, my God
01:04:01Kel? Kel, it's me
01:04:03Let me in
01:04:05Kel?
01:04:09Kel, I'm sorry
01:04:11Come home, Kel, please
01:04:14No, Kath
01:04:16You come in here
01:04:17Oh, Kel
01:04:18Oh
01:04:23Oh, this is nice, isn't it?
01:04:25Oh, and there's your toot
01:04:26Oh, nice old shower, Kel
01:04:28What's the pressure like?
01:04:29Would you like a nice glass of complimentary bubbles?
01:04:31Oh, yes, please
01:04:37Now, Kath, I have to ask
01:04:42You and this boob-lay character
01:04:44Did anything happen in the dressing room?
01:04:46Kel, no
01:04:48He just gave me some performance tips
01:04:50And I back-combed his hair a little
01:04:51That's all
01:04:54Come here, Foxy
01:04:55Oh, Kel
01:04:57Oh, oh, Kel
01:04:59Oh, that feels nice
01:05:00What do you call that?
01:05:01Sorry, Kath, it's my piccolo
01:05:03Oh, oh, Kel
01:05:17Oh, oh, oh!
01:05:34Sorry, doll
01:05:42Kel
01:05:44That guy looks like John Monk
01:05:45The albino
01:05:46What would he be doing out here?
01:05:48You don't think he's come out to get the 44 Euros he reckons he's going to earn, do you?
01:05:52That wasn't him. He's paranoid now.
01:05:56You're probably right, Gil.
01:05:58But then again, albinos don't grow on trees.
01:06:02Or do they?
01:06:04We wish you a Merry Christmas
01:06:06We wish you a Merry Christmas
01:06:08We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
01:06:11Oh, look, look!
01:06:13He's back! He's back!
01:06:16Look, Epps! How exciting!
01:06:19Where is it?
01:06:21Oh, look, Santa's had his Baileys and his Tim Tams and he's eaten the whole packet.
01:06:25Where's your sack, Epps?
01:06:27Look, it's full, Eppony!
01:06:29Oh, where's mine? Where's mine?
01:06:31Oh, I think that might be mine.
01:06:33No, it's Eppony's.
01:06:36Do you like that, Epps?
01:06:38No.
01:06:41What the hell?
01:06:43Oh, Kim, what'd you get?
01:06:45They're perfect for you, clever Santa.
01:06:48And Kel, Kel, here's one from me.
01:06:51Thanks, Kath.
01:06:53What is it?
01:06:56A Buckingham dressing gown!
01:06:59Must have cost you a fortune, Kath.
01:07:01I didn't pay for it.
01:07:03And here's one of mine to you.
01:07:05Oh, Kel, what is it?
01:07:07I bet it's a book.
01:07:10A CD, the very best of Kel Knight.
01:07:15What's this?
01:07:17I recorded it at work in the cool room.
01:07:19Terrific acoustics, all original compositions.
01:07:21Oh, you're kidding. What's it got?
01:07:23Kath come home, there's a hole in the bed.
01:07:25Lady and Mango making love on the ensuite floor.
01:07:30Remember the Buckingham, Kath?
01:07:32Oh, Kel, I'll never have it off again.
01:07:37I might put the kettle on.
01:07:40What are you looking all mealy-mouthed for, Kim?
01:07:43Put yourself in my feet for a minute, Mum.
01:07:45No one cares about me.
01:07:47Sharon's not talking to me, Brett's left me.
01:07:49Santa obviously doesn't give a fat rat's.
01:07:51That's not true, Kim.
01:07:53Brett has been trying to make it up with you.
01:07:55Come on, why don't you take him back?
01:07:57Where's your spirit of Christmas?
01:08:01Maybe you're right.
01:08:03Maybe I should take him out of the freezer.
01:08:05He's probably been in there long enough.
01:08:07Oh no, the freezer!
01:08:09The turkey, I was meant to take it out of the freezer last night.
01:08:12Oh, dammit.
01:08:14Don't open any more without me!
01:08:26I'll put it on the window sill here to thaw out.
01:08:28Merry Christmas everyone!
01:08:30Merry Christmas!
01:08:32Merry Christmas, Brett.
01:08:34Present for you.
01:08:38Brett, I just got you a present.
01:08:41Your filthy text.
01:08:43What? I didn't...
01:08:45I loved it.
01:08:47And Brett,
01:08:49my present to you is
01:08:51I'll dine to take you back.
01:08:53Dine? I think you're desperate to have him back, aren't you, Kim?
01:08:55She hasn't had one iota of interest
01:08:57from anybody else, Brett.
01:08:59Shut up, Mum!
01:09:01Merry Christmas, Brett, that's from me.
01:09:03So Brett, are you over the moon?
01:09:05Oh, yeah.
01:09:07Back home's getting pretty eggy.
01:09:09Really, Miss Ebbs.
01:09:11Yeah, OK.
01:09:13Come here, spank.
01:09:15No, I can't, actually. I've got to go to work.
01:09:17What? On Christmas Day?
01:09:19New workplace at Graham's Kel.
01:09:21Oh, bloody Howard. I bet he's not working on Christmas Day.
01:09:23Who?
01:09:25Well, anyhow, I didn't know if I was going to be invited here,
01:09:27so I volunteered. I didn't want to be on my own.
01:09:29Merry Christmas, Ebbs. Bye-bye.
01:09:31Bye, Kim.
01:09:33Oh, bye, Brett. Have a nice day.
01:09:35I'll save you some pud, babe.
01:09:38DOOR CREAKS
01:09:48BABY CRIES
01:09:56Oh, no!
01:09:58Oh, it's still completely frozen in the middle!
01:10:00Oh, how can that be?
01:10:02Oh!
01:10:04Oh!
01:10:06Oh!
01:10:10Oh!
01:10:12Oh, God! Oh!
01:10:14Oh, can you help me, Kim?
01:10:16What are you doing?
01:10:18Get up!
01:10:20It's all greasy!
01:10:22I've got grease all over the crispy capris now!
01:10:24And have you seen Sharon, Kim?
01:10:26No.
01:10:28Not since she threatened to kill me in the middle of Fountain Gate.
01:10:30No, I haven't.
01:10:32Well, she's meant to be here.
01:10:35Oh, what?
01:10:37She's meant to bring the icebergs, the lettuces!
01:10:39I've got to get those dressed, too.
01:10:41It's sweet.
01:10:43So, let me get this straight.
01:10:45The turkey's not ready.
01:10:47Kel's only bought one chuck.
01:10:49What are we going to eat?
01:10:51You know I'm always ravishing on Christmas Day.
01:10:53Oh, I don't know, Kim!
01:10:55Look, just get this chicken fillet in the freezer.
01:10:57Get those out.
01:10:59We've got chicken tonight.
01:11:01We can have chicken tonight today.
01:11:04Something could go wrong!
01:11:24Oh, Kel.
01:11:26Oh, I must have...
01:11:28dropped off.
01:11:30Is someone outside, Kel?
01:11:40It's the albino, Kel!
01:11:42It's John Monk!
01:11:44What's he doing here?
01:11:46He's coming inside!
01:11:48Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
01:11:50What?
01:11:52The code, Kath.
01:11:54I've just realised all the signs were there.
01:11:56I've cracked it, Kath!
01:11:59The code! The Da Vinci code!
01:12:01Listen, it's like a puzzle.
01:12:03First there was a card that nearly ran over me.
01:12:05Then there was a slash painting.
01:12:07And our names, Kel.
01:12:09I always thought Kel Knight, Knights Templar, Kath Day.
01:12:11Overstay?
01:12:13Now John Monk has come here to kill us,
01:12:15just like in the end of the Da Vinci code.
01:12:17Is that what happened in the end?
01:12:19Because I didn't finish it on the last address!
01:12:21Have you cracked the code yet?
01:12:23Yes!
01:12:25You were going to kill us!
01:12:27You haven't worked it out, have you?
01:12:29Where is that painting?
01:12:39So each number corresponds to a letter of the alphabet.
01:12:41And it spells out the magic word,
01:12:43franchisee.
01:12:45What does that mean?
01:12:47It means that I want to offer you,
01:12:49and Kel, the Da Vinci code to a franchise.
01:12:51What?
01:12:53Sorry, John,
01:12:56the flies are terrible this year.
01:12:58Look, Kath,
01:13:00when I saw you jump out of that bog window in the Louvre,
01:13:02I knew you'd make the perfect tour guide.
01:13:04But I couldn't be certain.
01:13:06I had to put you to the test.
01:13:08That's why I left that clue in the Bible.
01:13:10What clue?
01:13:12I circled a passage.
01:13:14And Jesus spake
01:13:16under the franchisees.
01:13:18Right!
01:13:20And what about the 44 euros?
01:13:22What was that all about?
01:13:25Is that another clue?
01:13:27You've got to think about the letters.
01:13:2944 euros.
01:13:31Rearrange the letters.
01:13:33Yes! It's a mammogram.
01:13:3544 euros,
01:13:37your tour's offer.
01:13:39What does that mean?
01:13:41Our tour's kill.
01:13:43We're going to be tour operators.
01:13:45I can't believe I didn't crack that earlier.
01:13:47And me being a Sudoku nut.
01:13:49I was a bit surprised you were slow on the update, Kath.
01:13:51We'll make it up to you, John.
01:13:53It's getting hot here, isn't it?
01:13:55Oh, it is hot, yes.
01:13:57I'll help you with that, eh?
01:13:59It's a dry survey, John.
01:14:01There you go.
01:14:03So, John, what were you selling the franchise?
01:14:05I'm his hairdresser's orders, really.
01:14:07I'm not really an albino.
01:14:09Oh.
01:14:11This is peroxide.
01:14:13Amazing, isn't it?
01:14:15Vidal says that if I'm not careful,
01:14:17this could turn into one great, big, dried-up,
01:14:19frizzy old perm.
01:14:22That'd be awful, wouldn't it?
01:14:24I wouldn't want one of those.
01:14:26Anyway, John, would you like to stay for tea?
01:14:28What is it?
01:14:30We're just going to have some seafood, leftover seafood.
01:14:32Australian seafood, very nice.
01:14:34Yeah, I've got a nice piece of extender there, haven't I?
01:14:36And we've got the chicken tonight
01:14:38that we didn't have today that we can have tonight.
01:14:40Fancy a walk before dinner, John?
01:14:42Not a problem.
01:14:44Where's Kim?
01:14:46Where'd she get to?
01:14:48Eh...
01:14:50Ngh!
01:14:52Ngh!
01:14:54Ngh!
01:14:56Oh!
01:14:58Oh!
01:15:00Ngh!
01:15:02Oh, chicken tonight.
01:15:04Where's bloody Brett?
01:15:06He was meant to be home hours ago.
01:15:08I didn't think it'd go this far.
01:15:10It's like I've been possessed or something.
01:15:12What about Kim?
01:15:16Don't worry about Kim.
01:15:20So, you're really separated?
01:15:24Yeah.
01:15:31This is doing my glutes no end of good, Col.
01:15:33Yeah.
01:15:35So, what book is your next tour going to be based on, John?
01:15:37Oh, it's the new Biggie.
01:15:39The CSIRO Total Wellbeing Diet.
01:15:41It's got everything.
01:15:43It's got gluttony, denial,
01:15:45and it's got...
01:15:48It's got everything.
01:15:50It's got gluttony, denial, murder,
01:15:52absolutely no carbs.
01:15:54Put me down as your first guest.
01:15:56Hey, come on, you boys.
01:15:58Go and freshen up.
01:16:00Kel, show John where the guest hood is.
01:16:02And has anybody seen Sharon?
01:16:10Oh, it's exciting, isn't it?
01:16:12Okay, Merry Christmas, everybody.
01:16:14Let's pull our bonbons.
01:16:17Sorry.
01:16:19Hello, everyone. Merry Christmas.
01:16:23Thank God you're here, Brett.
01:16:25Have a breadstick.
01:16:27Where have you been?
01:16:29I'm really busy at work.
01:16:31John, this is my husband, Brett.
01:16:33Here's some extender.
01:16:37So, John, what do you think of Australia?
01:16:39Oh, yes, tell us.
01:16:41It's the best place in the world, isn't it?
01:16:43Well, to be perfectly frank with you,
01:16:45I was a little bit disappointed in Edithvale
01:16:47and Aspendale,
01:16:49and to some extent Mordialloc.
01:16:51But once I got past Parkdale
01:16:53and into the Golden Mile,
01:16:55I was blown away.
01:16:57I mean, with Ikea on one side
01:16:59and Ray's Tent City
01:17:01and Barbecue's Galore on the other,
01:17:03it doesn't get much better than that, does it?
01:17:05It doesn't. It doesn't, indeed.
01:17:07This chicken, it's rubbery.
01:17:09Thank you, John Sand.
01:17:11Thank you very much.
01:17:14I mean, it really is rubbery.
01:17:16Oh, no. They're not chicken breasts.
01:17:18They're mine.
01:17:20They're my chicken fillet falsies.
01:17:22That's where they got to.
01:17:24Oh, no. Oh, John.
01:17:26Oh, Sharon.
01:17:28Oh, Sharon.
01:17:30Is everything all right?
01:17:32No, not really.
01:17:34Where's Marriott?
01:17:36Marriott is nowhere.
01:17:38What?
01:17:40He is nowhere and nothing.
01:17:42After he didn't turn up at the airport,
01:17:44I went to an internet cafe
01:17:46and I discovered that Marriott,
01:17:48my beautiful, gentle, smart,
01:17:50funny Marriott,
01:17:52is nothing more than a blog
01:17:54and internet address
01:17:56marriott.com,
01:17:58the site that's been offering
01:18:00to married women all around the world.
01:18:02Oh, Sharon.
01:18:04And you were getting so much pleasure
01:18:06just from the touch of a mouse.
01:18:08Yeah, and all my money's gone.
01:18:11The thing is, Mrs. D,
01:18:13I still love him.
01:18:15Oh, Sharon.
01:18:17Kim, say something.
01:18:19I knew you wouldn't get married.
01:18:21I knew it.
01:18:23There's good news, Sharon, though.
01:18:25Brett and me are back together.
01:18:27Oh!
01:18:29Poor Sharon.
01:18:31Come on, everyone. Let's have a dance.
01:18:33Christmas,
01:18:35you're the one
01:18:37that I love.
01:18:40Go away
01:18:42in the bluebird.
01:18:44Jingle bells, jingle bells,
01:18:46jingle all the way.
01:18:48Oh, what fun it is to ride
01:18:50on a one-horse open sleigh.
01:18:52Oh, what jingle bells,
01:18:54cause don't forget who's
01:18:56taking you home.
01:18:58And who's aren't you gonna be?
01:19:00You all right with that, Kim?
01:19:02Oh, yeah.
01:19:04I've vac-packed my green-eyed monster
01:19:06and put it away forever.
01:19:10Would you like to see my marimbas, John?
01:19:12No.
01:19:14Telling ki-mi-ke
01:19:16is the thing
01:19:18to say
01:19:20on a broad Hawaiian Christmas day.
01:19:22Oh, I'm
01:19:24flying away
01:19:26to you
01:19:28over the
01:19:30summer term.
01:19:32Oh, what fun
01:19:34it is to ride
01:19:36on a one-horse open sleigh.
01:19:38Gee, he's an Australian icon, isn't he?
01:19:42Yeah.
01:19:43And she's an icon?
01:19:44Mm-hmm.
01:19:45He's an icon?
01:19:46He's not an icon.
01:19:47He's just a con.
01:19:48Oh, the Wiggles, they're icons.
01:19:49Yeah.
01:19:50Oh, Kim, did I tell you?
01:19:51When they sang Hot Potato at carols, I went off.
01:19:52Literally.
01:19:53Ew.
01:19:54I'm more a hooley-dooley girl myself.
01:19:55Sharon likes the Wiggles.
01:19:56Kim, did I tell you?
01:19:57Sharon and Marriott are back on together.
01:19:58What?
01:19:59What?
01:20:00What?
01:20:01What?
01:20:02What?
01:20:03What?
01:20:04What?
01:20:05What?
01:20:06What?
01:20:07What?
01:20:08What?
01:20:09What?
01:20:10Oh, how does that work?
01:20:11Oh, you know, relationships, Kim.
01:20:12I mean, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors, do you?
01:20:15I mean she's obviously pushing his buttons and he's pushing hers right back.
01:20:18I think it's beautiful and it works for them, doesn't it?
01:20:24Oh, I've just got another naughty text from Brett.
01:20:26Listen to this.
01:20:27Meet me down the back in Play Stations in five minutes.
01:20:30I mean, how does he expect me to get to Fountain Gate in five minutes?
01:20:33Oh, geez, Keane, Kim.
01:20:35Easy.
01:20:36You go, girl.
01:20:37In a minute.
01:20:39Geez, Mum, you look huge in that shirt.
01:20:42You look like Jordan.
01:20:43Oh, I wish.
01:20:44No, they're my chicken fillet falsies, Kim.
01:20:46I just rinsed off the chicken tonight and popped them back in.
01:20:49Well, one looks bigger than the other.
01:20:51Oh, yeah, that's because John Monk ate the left one.
01:20:53But it's OK, because I'm naturally much bigger on that side anyway,
01:20:55so I think it balances out.
01:20:57Isn't it amazing, Kim, that my franchisee dream finally came true?
01:21:01Can you believe John Monk sold us his business?
01:21:03How did you pay for that?
01:21:05In kind.
01:21:06That sounds nice.
01:21:07Yeah, it was nice.
01:21:09You know, Mum, evidently the Da Vinci Code
01:21:11has been proven to be completely untrue.
01:21:13Yes, Kim, I know that. I'm not stupid.
01:21:15But the second one, you know, Da Vinci Code 2, G'day Leonardo,
01:21:19they show that that is absolutely historically correct.
01:21:22And what a boon for us.
01:21:23It's set right here in ye olde Melbourne.
01:21:25I can't believe it.
01:21:27Oh, it's nice.
01:21:28It's nice.
01:21:29It's different.
01:21:30Yeah, it's nice.
01:21:31It's unusual.