• 4 months ago
for the full movies follow us on:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@scc-classicmovies/featured

X: https://x.com/SuperCultCinema

Welcome to Super Cult Cinema, where classic movies meet contemporary classics! Dive into a world of timeless films, spanning decades and genres, curated for cinephiles like you. From Hollywood classics to international masterpieces, we've got it all. Join us as we celebrate the art of cinema and explore the stories that have captured our hearts and minds for generations. Subscribe now to embark on a journey through the rich tapestry of cinematic history. Don't miss out on our latest uploads, exclusive content, and curated playlists. Get ready to experience the magic of movies like never before with Super Cult Cinema!
Transcript
00:00:30You've seen him on MADtv, one of the funniest cats in the game, put your hands together for
00:00:55Aaron Stewart.
00:01:17New York City, what's happening, baby?
00:01:21Your boy is home, New York, let it go!
00:01:27Yeah, New York City, baby, I'm glad to be here, glad to be home and shit.
00:01:32My man Jazzy Jeff, much love, man, I appreciate you, boy.
00:01:37New York, I'm glad we got an eclectic crowd, man, because there's a lot of black people in here.
00:01:41I want to thank the white people for coming. You motherfuckers showed that you still know your place.
00:01:45It's awesome you came with that kind of confidence. Is that your man?
00:01:48Okay, how you doing, bro?
00:01:50Nigga, unfold your arms. Why are you looking at me like you're the rent collector?
00:01:54Nigga, unfold your arms.
00:01:56No, nigga, I ain't nervous, you're a big motherfucker. I throw a weight down, you gotta make a choice, motherfucker.
00:02:02So, is this your first Negro?
00:02:07That bitch said, mm-mm.
00:02:10I said that shit like he come with a theme song.
00:02:12My first Negro.
00:02:15He said, no, that's gonna be an awkward drive home.
00:02:19Bitch, you told me I was special.
00:02:23Shit, y'all probably have great sex. Do y'all role play at all?
00:02:26Do you role play?
00:02:28No?
00:02:29You ever play escape slave in The Master's Wife? That shit's fucked.
00:02:32Hurry up, nigga, get back to work. You on the clock.
00:02:35Shit, you got a white girl, you gotta dress up like O.J. Halloween, go out in the closet with a butcher knife, scared and shit.
00:02:41I'm glad y'all are together, that's fun.
00:02:43Let me tell you something, when y'all have sex, because you gotta role play, it's fun, you know what I'm saying?
00:02:47Like, black women, don't get me wrong, I love y'all, but certain shit can't do with y'all.
00:02:51Y'all have too many rules and regulations.
00:02:53Shit, nigga, don't touch my hand. Don't even touch my motherfucking hand.
00:02:55I just got my shit did.
00:02:56Nigga, fuck you, dog. He gotta keep his hands behind his back and shit.
00:03:00If you feel the urge to grab your shit, it might come off like, oh, shit.
00:03:04You gotta have a chin strap on, you gotta keep it locked down, man.
00:03:07You gotta have fun with that, man.
00:03:09Like, I noticed I got a pretty Asian girl sitting in the crowd.
00:03:12How you doing, sweetheart? You alright?
00:03:14Yes, baby. Bitch, I'm looking at you. Yes, this ain't, yes, you.
00:03:18How you doing, sweetheart?
00:03:19I love Asian women. See, I could have fun with you if you was my girl.
00:03:22We could role play, you know?
00:03:24Like, I come home one day in a soldier's outfit.
00:03:30And I got my dick hanging through the zipper.
00:03:32And I'm like, I'm an American soldier here to slay some, what's your nationality, baby?
00:03:37What's your nationality? You Filipino?
00:03:39Fuck it, it'd work better for the joke if you're Vietnamese.
00:03:41So, you're Vietnamese.
00:03:44I'm like, I'm an American soldier here to slay some Vietnamese ass.
00:03:48And I can't see you. You're somewhere in the house, hidden.
00:03:51But you got, like, a potato sack on for a shirt.
00:03:54A little dirt and mud on your face.
00:03:56And I just hear you yell from a distance,
00:03:58you go home, black man, it's not your war.
00:04:00And then when I see you, we fuck on a bed of rice patties.
00:04:03That would be awesome, man.
00:04:06Don't get embarrassed, it's real shit, man.
00:04:10And I don't want none of the white people to get uncomfortable,
00:04:12because I do like to talk about the race issue.
00:04:14Because a lot of y'all try to act like that shit ain't relevant no more.
00:04:17Like, is race still relevant in America?
00:04:19Look at some of the white people.
00:04:21Whatever do you mean?
00:04:24Racism will always be relevant in America for two reasons.
00:04:26One, it's just too much bad history.
00:04:28And you can't erase that much bad history.
00:04:30And two, I just think it's natural for everybody to be a little bit racist.
00:04:33I don't give a fuck what color you are, what your gender is, how old you are.
00:04:36We are all a little bit racist.
00:04:38And white people, y'all are the first ones to denounce that shit.
00:04:40I'm not racist. I'm incapable of being racist.
00:04:43My best friend is black.
00:04:46He's also my chauffeur, but he's my best friend.
00:04:50Everybody in this room, everybody in this country is a little racist.
00:04:53You might not be smack-a-taco-out-of-Mexican-hand racist,
00:04:56but we are all...
00:04:59Fuck y'all, that is way funnier than that.
00:05:03I don't know why y'all scared to laugh.
00:05:05Y'all act like 300 Mexicans gonna pop out of nowhere like,
00:05:07What the fuck, fucker?
00:05:09I make a special sour cream for you, that's it.
00:05:12It's fucking hilarious.
00:05:14And I live in L.A. I love the Mexicans, I do.
00:05:16Because of Mexicans, my lawn looks fabulous.
00:05:20I got a little bit of money. I live in a white neighborhood.
00:05:22They be out there cutting my grass and shit.
00:05:24It be hot as a motherfucker outside.
00:05:26I be standing there from the house through the blinds.
00:05:29I'm like, mm, mm, mm.
00:05:3120 minutes later, they knock on the door and ask me for shit.
00:05:33Senor, it's hot outside.
00:05:37They all sound like Speedy Gonzalez.
00:05:39It's hot outside.
00:05:41Me and my compositors was wondering, can we have some agua?
00:05:44I'm like, nope, but I can give you some advice.
00:05:46Hum your way through it, motherfucker. That's how we got back. Bam!
00:05:50Fuck that, you got to earn your turn.
00:05:54You can't just hop over a fence and expect the same rights.
00:05:56You got to earn your turn.
00:05:59Look at some of the white people. Oh, my God, he said it. Thank you.
00:06:03I've been feeling this, black man. Thank you.
00:06:09And I know that's a big deal in this country.
00:06:11Illegal immigration.
00:06:13White people, you guys get bent out of shape over that shit.
00:06:15I hear you complain. Fucking Mexicans.
00:06:17They're coming here taking our jobs.
00:06:19Some of them have criminal records.
00:06:21We're not safe. We don't know who's among us.
00:06:23Well, let me remind all the white people,
00:06:25while you steady being mad at the Mexicans,
00:06:27technically, you guys were the first illegal immigrants.
00:06:29Because when you came to this country,
00:06:31it belonged to the Indians, and we know how that shit turned out.
00:06:34Look how quiet they got. Did you feel the tension all of a sudden?
00:06:36Did you feel...
00:06:38They're like, nigger, I can't believe you would say that.
00:06:40We were just starting to like you. How could you betray our trust?
00:06:46Listen, I don't give a fuck if you come to this country legally or illegally,
00:06:49because at the end of the day, we're all foreigners to some extent.
00:06:51My only issue is if you're going to come to this country, I got one rule.
00:06:54Learn how to speak fucking English, please.
00:06:57You've got to learn the fucking language.
00:07:00Because there is nothing more frustrating than me being at Popeye's Chicken,
00:07:04arguing with Jorge about what the fuck I ordered,
00:07:07and I'm trying to catch the second half of the game.
00:07:09I ain't got time for this shit.
00:07:12You ever talk to somebody that don't know how to speak English?
00:07:14They always got a look and a sound coming out of their face,
00:07:17like they in the middle of taking a shit. It's hilarious.
00:07:20Like, excuse me, you know what time it is?
00:07:23I don't speak English.
00:07:29I was at Popeye's Chicken around the playoffs for basketball,
00:07:32and I'm arguing with this motherfucker about my order.
00:07:34He didn't understand me. I didn't understand him.
00:07:36Shit was terrible.
00:07:37I was like, dog, let me get a two-piece chicken dinner.
00:07:39He tried to repeat the shit back to me.
00:07:42You want a two-piece chicken?
00:07:46Do you want the spicy or the mild?
00:07:48I said, what? He said, the spicy or the mild.
00:07:50I said, what nigga you know put mayonnaise on chicken?
00:07:52Why would I put mayonnaise on chicken?
00:07:55I'm a hot sauce nigga. My daddy was a hot sauce nigga.
00:07:59He said, no, the mild for the flavor.
00:08:01I said, what the fuck is flavor?
00:08:04He kept looking at the menu like it was Family Feud
00:08:06and the answer was gonna pop up on the board.
00:08:09I'm gonna tell you, the two-piece chicken be the spicy or the mild,
00:08:11so you better get it for you.
00:08:17He said, let me get a two-piece chicken.
00:08:19I said, let me get a two-piece chicken spicy.
00:08:22He said, you want a bisi?
00:08:24I said, yes, motherfucker, I'm busy.
00:08:26I don't have time for this shit.
00:08:28I'm trying to catch the game. Kobe's on, nigga. Come on.
00:08:32He said, no, a bisi.
00:08:34I said, what the fuck is a bisi?
00:08:36Chipotle di bari and the cream cheese.
00:08:38I said, a biscuit?
00:08:39He said, si, si, but he's gonna tell you what the two-piece chicken be the spicy or the mild.
00:08:42They're gonna come with a bisi, so you better get it for you.
00:08:45Andele, andele, iba, iba.
00:08:48I said, let me get a two-piece chicken spicy with a biscuit.
00:08:52He said, now you have to pickle your sides.
00:08:55I said, I'm not playing with my panties and Popeye's. I'm not doing that.
00:08:58Why would I pull my dick out and jack off near the crunchy? I'm not doing it.
00:09:02He said, no, you get two side order.
00:09:05I said, what kind of side you got?
00:09:07He said, we have a de.
00:09:09We have a de.
00:09:12It was we have the, but we have a de.
00:09:16We have a de yacaroni and yeast.
00:09:20We have a de yash potato.
00:09:23I said, fuck it. Let me go with the yash potato.
00:09:27She wants something to drink.
00:09:28I said, what do you have to drink?
00:09:31We have a de.
00:09:34We have a de sodas and de juices.
00:09:37I said, I don't want no soda, but I'm curious about your juices.
00:09:41The fuck is juice?
00:09:44We have a de apple juice, de orange juice, grapefruit juice.
00:09:47Listen, the point is we have to demand more from our illegals.
00:09:50I'm Aries Spears and I approve this message.
00:09:52We have to demand more. It's unacceptable.
00:09:58Funny thing is you don't even realize how racist America is until after you leave.
00:10:03Like I did a show not too long ago in Edmonton, Canada.
00:10:06There was no racist vibe in Edmonton.
00:10:08Well, first of all, ain't no niggas out there so ain't nobody be mad at.
00:10:12But I must have walked around that motherfucker for four days looking for a black person.
00:10:15Finally, I saw one. I ain't even know the motherfucker.
00:10:17I just ran up to him and hugged him like, nigga, where you been?
00:10:21We need to stick together.
00:10:23He was offended. He was like, dude, get your hands off of me, bro.
00:10:27It's like totally absurd.
00:10:29I was like, shit, they got him.
00:10:33It was too late. I couldn't save him.
00:10:36I had white kids looking at me like I was an exotic animal.
00:10:39They was like, mom, look at him.
00:10:41He's so chocolatey.
00:10:44I want one.
00:10:46He kept trying to pour milk on me. I was like, it ain't gonna change colors.
00:10:49Fuck off from me.
00:10:53And I see some of the white people getting uncomfortable.
00:10:55Don't get uncomfortable.
00:10:56I love white people, man.
00:10:58Y'all my people too.
00:10:59It's just certain shit I can't do with y'all.
00:11:01Like go drinking.
00:11:03Every time I do a show in front of white people, after the show, y'all always wanna hang out and buy me a drink.
00:11:06I can't drink with y'all.
00:11:07And it's not that I don't want to, it's just I can't hang.
00:11:10You motherfuckers are the undisputed champs at drinking.
00:11:13Y'all drink till y'all fall. The fuck out.
00:11:16And I know when y'all get good and drunk because that's that noise y'all make.
00:11:19Woo!
00:11:22Don't do that. That scares black folk.
00:11:25There's a lot of bad history behind that noise.
00:11:28Black people, we hear, woo!
00:11:29We start looking out for pickup trucks. Where the fuck they at?
00:11:33See, this one don't like fucking with Earl. He played too much.
00:11:37I'm serious, a party ain't a party to y'all till the fucking cops show up.
00:11:41And black people, y'all know, we see the police party over.
00:11:45White people, y'all have a freedom we just don't have.
00:11:47Y'all see the police, y'all get braver.
00:11:48Dude, what's your fucking badge number and your name?
00:11:51No, don't fucking touch me. What if I fucking touch you?
00:11:54No, you shut the fuck up and move along.
00:11:58Aries, why are you crying? Relax.
00:12:01Do you know who my dad is? I'll sue, I swear to God. Get the fuck on.
00:12:04Black people, we be in the back doing sign language.
00:12:13And to any black people that hang out with white people in a group,
00:12:16make sure if y'all go out drinking in a group, go with them when they order drinks.
00:12:20Because y'all like to anoint somebody the designated drink orderer.
00:12:23Anytime I hang out with my white friends, when they get up from the table and go to the bar to get around,
00:12:27I follow right behind their ass.
00:12:29Because y'all like to go order drinks and then bring it back to us like it's a top CIA secret.
00:12:33As soon as you hand me the drink, I go, man, what the fuck is in this?
00:12:36Dude.
00:12:39Don't worry, don't ask. Just fucking chug it.
00:12:4320 minutes later, I'm butt naked with a cowboy hat on.
00:12:49I fucking love you, Brad.
00:12:52Hey, just for fun, let's go hang some niggas.
00:12:57Just keep it safe.
00:12:58Just keep it safe.
00:13:02So are we still excited about Barack Obama?
00:13:08See, every black person in here should be clapping.
00:13:11Because we got to ride that nigga till the wheels fall off.
00:13:15You know, if that shit don't work, the minute we go to work, white folks is looking at us like, hmm?
00:13:21You picked him.
00:13:24I can't wait till he runs for his second term, man.
00:13:26Because that was the most exciting part about the political process to me, was the campaign.
00:13:30Because you knew at some point, he was supposed to win.
00:13:33He had all the right ingredients that came together at the right time.
00:13:36He's tall, good looking, articulate, highly intelligent.
00:13:39You know, smooth under pressure, charismatic.
00:13:42And most importantly, he was the right shade.
00:13:46He made white people feel comfortable.
00:13:49Because y'all know if that nigga was Bernie Mac Black,
00:13:53or Precious Purple, he wouldn't have won.
00:13:57He's like coffee with cream. It goes down easy.
00:14:01You ever have coffee black? It's too strong.
00:14:04You'd be like, ooh!
00:14:06America is not ready for ooh. They not ready yet.
00:14:14And he had 97% of the black vote. 97%.
00:14:18Which means he had black people on lock.
00:14:21We were like a hand and a glove. We were tied together.
00:14:23But he still couldn't have become president without white people.
00:14:26So for the white people that voted for him, I thank you because you helped make history.
00:14:32But some of y'all are starting to get a little impatient.
00:14:35And your racism is seeping out a little bit.
00:14:38You say shit when you're frustrated.
00:14:41I thought you niggas were fast. What's taking so long?
00:14:44Took eight years to fuck this country up.
00:14:47It's gonna take a second to get it together. Relax.
00:14:50He got a lot of tough shit he gotta deal with, man.
00:14:53Like the big controversy right now, they're talking about that mosque near September 11th.
00:14:58A lot of people upset about that.
00:15:00September 11th just rolled around. Every year we gotta relive that bullshit.
00:15:03But there was a bright side, man.
00:15:05September 11th, blacks and whites came together like never before.
00:15:08Because after September 11th, Arabs took all the pressure off us.
00:15:13I'm telling you, they are the new niggas. It's amazing.
00:15:16I get on a plane now, white people, y'all be happy to see us.
00:15:19Dude, bro, come here.
00:15:21Here, sit next to me, man. Right here.
00:15:24Here, hold my daughter.
00:15:27I love you, nigga. Come here.
00:15:30We gotta watch out for those fuckers. We're shizzle-nizzle.
00:15:34We've bonded now. That's good.
00:15:38And I realize certain aspects of that shit just affected people differently.
00:15:41Like when the anthrax thing happened, white people, y'all was very nervous.
00:15:44Y'all would come up to me at work and warn me.
00:15:47Like, oh my God.
00:15:48That's how white people get when they get dramatic.
00:15:51Oh my God.
00:15:53Aries, be careful. Don't open your mail.
00:15:56Let me tell you something. Black people was never worried about anthrax.
00:15:59Because y'all know half the time we don't open our mail. No way.
00:16:03We think that shit is a bill. We might hold it to the light.
00:16:06Like, no, that's the red notes. Fuck that.
00:16:09You wanna get us with anthrax, put that shit in the Jay-Z CD.
00:16:12That's how you get us.
00:16:14I got that new jigger. Oh, shit.
00:16:16Osama got me, motherfucker.
00:16:19Track 12, nigga. Be careful. Track 12.
00:16:22It's on the way.
00:16:24And I'm originally from here, but I live in L.A.
00:16:27And I was in L.A. when that whole thing went down.
00:16:29It's crazy because my people from back east called me.
00:16:31Said, man, turn on TV.
00:16:33Plane was taken over. Hostage situation.
00:16:35And I've seen the movies.
00:16:37So when I heard hostage situation, I'm thinking big ass guns and bombs was used.
00:16:41They said homemade knives.
00:16:43Do you know what a homemade knife is called?
00:16:45Shank.
00:16:47It's a prison weapon. We invented that shit.
00:16:49So I know it couldn't have been a plane full of bunch of ignorant niggas.
00:16:52That would have been a different phone call.
00:16:54Osama, we're trying to take over the plane.
00:16:56As soon as we pull out knife, all the niggas say, oh, no, you didn't.
00:17:00I got to go.
00:17:07Brothers would have called air traffic control like, yeah, this Tyrone,
00:17:10they tried to get us with knives.
00:17:16Oh, no, we whooped their ass.
00:17:18But where the manual at?
00:17:20I got to land this motherfucker.
00:17:22I got to get back to Brooklyn.
00:17:24I got shit to do.
00:17:26And I get tired of them fucking with me at the airport.
00:17:29Well, I got to be the one randomly selected to have my shit searched.
00:17:33I have to get mad for white people when they search y'all shit.
00:17:36Because again, I know it's going to sound a little bit racist, but let's be real.
00:17:38Black people, white people, Asians, Latinos, we're not known for blowing shit up.
00:17:43Black people, we have specific crimes.
00:17:46We do shit like rob a 7-Eleven and kill everybody in that motherfucker
00:17:53for $4.80, a bag of Doritos and a pack of Newports.
00:17:58That's nigga shit.
00:18:00You want to search somebody, search that motherfucker whose name sounds like a pubic hair caught in your esophagus.
00:18:03And leave me the fuck alone.
00:18:05I'm not trying to blow shit up.
00:18:07I'm trying to smoke a joint, play Xbox and rub one out.
00:18:09That's what the fuck I'm trying to do.
00:18:11Because trust me, when I explode, this is the bomb right here.
00:18:14I'll be walking around the house terrorizing shit.
00:18:16I'm going to blow up the puppy.
00:18:19This racism shit is affecting every aspect of life.
00:18:22Even my business, the movie business.
00:18:24I guess certain movie roles, black people, we just don't get a lot of.
00:18:27Like I noticed since the late 90s, horror movies made a hell of a comeback.
00:18:30White people, y'all get all the horror flicks.
00:18:32Y'all get the Chucky and I Know About Last Week and all that shit.
00:18:38I used to get mad and say, how come you don't see black people in horror movies?
00:18:41Then I put it together.
00:18:43Why don't y'all make horror movies with us?
00:18:45Because if it ain't going to be a movie, it's going to be a fucking commercial.
00:18:48Black people, y'all know we don't fuck around.
00:18:50We could be having a party in the woods, jamming.
00:18:52I don't give a fuck how loud the music is, how much fun we having.
00:18:55If we hear some shit that don't sound right, it'll cut through all that shit.
00:19:00We'll be out there dancing like, whoo, this shit is hot.
00:19:04What the fuck was that?
00:19:08I don't know, nigga, but we got to pack it up and roll.
00:19:10This shit don't cool.
00:19:12White people, y'all going to be out there dancing?
00:19:17Y'all dance like two-year-old black babies.
00:19:21Y'all hear some shit, what was that?
00:19:23I don't know, let's go check it out.
00:19:26And why do white women fall when y'all run?
00:19:28What's that shit about?
00:19:30Every time, oh my God.
00:19:32Black women hear something, she take off the pumps and put on Air Jordans.
00:19:36She might start out running, but that bitch going to turn into Nascar like,
00:19:39whoo.
00:19:43White guys are faithful.
00:19:45Your ladies fall, y'all go back.
00:19:50Black women, we love you, but if you fall, fuck it.
00:19:55We might try and come back to you like, oh my God.
00:19:57Bitch, come on.
00:20:07That bitch gone, dog.
00:20:10Goddamn, that was some good pussy, too.
00:20:14Ladies, work on your timing, that's all I'm saying.
00:20:18You know a real black woman would be waiting for you at the car file to have fingernails.
00:20:21Nigga, where was you?
00:20:23You said come on, so I come on.
00:20:28I'm actually on a mission, man.
00:20:30I don't even think comedy is my calling in life.
00:20:32I think I'm meant for something greater.
00:20:34I had a vision the other night, it came to me.
00:20:35I think my mission in life is to help white people.
00:20:40Like really, I want to feel comfortable enough to walk in your house unannounced
00:20:46at three o'clock in the morning.
00:20:49Just wake you up and go, come with me.
00:20:52Like comics, we don't do shit when we're on the road
00:20:54except stay in the hotel room and watch TV.
00:20:56And I'm flipping through some of the stations
00:20:58and I'm watching these programs like Oprah and Phil
00:21:00and I'm seeing some of y'all's kids, it's out of fucking control.
00:21:02I really want to help white people.
00:21:03I've always been curious.
00:21:05Why don't y'all just beat your kids, man?
00:21:07Beat them, whoop they motherfucking ass.
00:21:09Y'all give y'all kids all kind of timeouts and special places.
00:21:14The fuck is a special place?
00:21:16To a black child, that's a coma.
00:21:18What is a special place?
00:21:22Black kids don't know shit about timeout.
00:21:24We know about getting knocked the fuck out, that's it.
00:21:26My mother used to slap the shit out of me in public
00:21:28and I would look at people for help.
00:21:29Like, shut up.
00:21:35White people felt my pain.
00:21:37Oh my God.
00:21:39She just struck her child.
00:21:42Black people see black kids get hit,
00:21:44we be like, hey, hey, hey.
00:21:46Get your shit together.
00:21:50Black people will beat other people's kids
00:21:52if they fucking up too bad.
00:21:54Like, miss, you need to whoop this ugly motherfucker.
00:21:56Whoop this ugly motherfucker.
00:21:57You need to whoop this ugly motherfucker.
00:21:59Put that shit down.
00:22:01Here's my website, email, home address.
00:22:03Call me, I'll fuck him up any damn you need.
00:22:05You ain't got to kill him, just watch him turn red.
00:22:07Just choke him out.
00:22:14You know what I found out growing up totally shocked me?
00:22:16White kids are just as shocked to find out
00:22:18black kids don't talk back to their parents
00:22:20as we are when we hear them talk back to theirs.
00:22:22So I used to have a little buddy
00:22:24would come over to my house on the weekends,
00:22:25we'd play video games.
00:22:27My mother used to come in the room on us,
00:22:29cuss me out for no reason.
00:22:31Just scared the shit out of both of us.
00:22:33We'd be in the room playing Mario Brothers,
00:22:35she'd come kick open the door like SWAT.
00:22:37We'd be on level four, she'd be like,
00:22:39Harris, how many times have I told you
00:22:41to clean this motherfucking room?
00:22:43Cut that goddamn game off to clean this room.
00:22:45I come back, this motherfucking room ain't clean.
00:22:47I'm going to take that Nintendo cord,
00:22:49wrap it around your neck and stick it in your ass.
00:22:51Nigga, I ain't playing with you.
00:22:53This ain't no threat, this is a promise.
00:22:55She can't do that, man.
00:22:57This is your space, this is your area.
00:22:59She's violating your right to privacy.
00:23:03You should say something.
00:23:05You want me to go say something?
00:23:07I'd be so scared.
00:23:09I start talking to him like a slave from roots.
00:23:11He's going to get me, he's in trouble.
00:23:13I like you, Nate, I really do.
00:23:16My parents is good black folk.
00:23:18They gives me food, they gives me sleeps.
00:23:20You get away from around here
00:23:22with that foolishness.
00:23:23Go and get from here.
00:23:26Mmmmm.
00:23:30Whoa, Lord.
00:23:33My mother smacked the shit out of the white boy.
00:23:36He turned into me.
00:23:38Wet in the water.
00:23:45My mother was a champ at whupping ass too, man.
00:23:48She had a gold belt and everything.
00:23:51I remember one time I stole a bike
00:23:53And she had to leave her job to get me out of jail.
00:23:56You know, you grow up in a single-parent household
00:23:58with a black woman, and she got to leave work to get you out?
00:24:01I knew I was going to that special place.
00:24:05I knew the ass-whooping was serious,
00:24:07because when we got home, she took her work clothes off
00:24:09and put on a jogging suit and headband.
00:24:13Like, what kind of ass-whooping is that?
00:24:15She prepared to sweat.
00:24:18She had a stopwatch and a bottle of Gatorade with the belt.
00:24:21I said, at some point, this bitch is fitting to refuel
00:24:25on this ass-whooping.
00:24:32I think my mother took special joy out of fucking me up, too, man.
00:24:35Because she came up with unconventional methods of whooping ass,
00:24:38shit that I knew far exceeded normal and necessary.
00:24:41Like, I remember one time, she woke me up out of my sleep
00:24:43at 3 o'clock in the morning.
00:24:45You know, you've been woken up out of your sleep.
00:24:46You know, when that light hits you,
00:24:47it'd take you a second to get your shit together.
00:24:49You'd be discombobulated.
00:24:51And I'm 8.
00:24:53She came in, kicked the side of the bed.
00:24:55Pfft, nigga, get the fuck up.
00:24:57You thought I forgot about that shit you did earlier.
00:24:59You gonna go and get suspended from that private school
00:25:01where I make all that money and work two hard jobs,
00:25:03and you gonna get suspended by telling the teacher to suck your dick?
00:25:05Here, put this on. Pfft.
00:25:07And she threw some boxing headgear at me.
00:25:09You know that leather helmet boxers be wearing for practice fights?
00:25:12I'm like, man, why I'm putting on boxing headgear?
00:25:15She said, "'Cause I'm gonna hit you in the head with a pipe,
00:25:17and I don't want to kill you.
00:25:19"'Cause you my baby. I love you."
00:25:23I've just always been envious of the relationship
00:25:26that white parents have with your kids, man.
00:25:28You guys actually have a democracy in your household.
00:25:32You actually care...
00:25:35about your kids' opinions.
00:25:37Which is why you don't understand
00:25:39why they run rampant over you at the same time.
00:25:41I grew up with a lot of white kids.
00:25:43I'd hear their parents complain to mine.
00:25:44It was always the same argument.
00:25:46I don't understand why my child talks to me this way.
00:25:48Such disrespect.
00:25:50I don't know what to do. I'm at my wits' end.
00:25:52Problem is, a lot of you guys put your kids on the same level as you.
00:25:54You consider them your contemporaries.
00:25:56How you put somebody on the same level as you
00:25:58that can't pay the rent or the mortgage,
00:26:00put food in the refrigerator, or keep the fucking lights on?
00:26:02They're not your contemporaries. They're your kids.
00:26:04Moral of the story, beat they motherfucking ass.
00:26:08There's something about pain that makes motherfuckers listen.
00:26:12Like, I just saw this show The Nanny.
00:26:14I could not believe this shit exists.
00:26:16Y'all have flown an English bitch in
00:26:18to tell you how to deal with your kids.
00:26:20And she always has some profound shit to say.
00:26:22You must ignore the child's behavior,
00:26:24but not the child.
00:26:26The fuck out of here.
00:26:28They should redo that show. Call it The Nigger Nanny.
00:26:30It'd be three minutes long.
00:26:32She'd show up to the door. Boom, boom.
00:26:34Where the motherfucker at? Pow.
00:26:36Show over. Theme song. Nigger Nanny.
00:26:38That's it. No commercial breaks.
00:26:40One episode. It's over.
00:26:44There's gonna be some white people driving home singing that shit.
00:26:46Nigger Nanny.
00:26:48Roll the windows up. I'm in the mood.
00:26:54Where the weed smokers at?
00:26:58Fuck that. Y'all cops.
00:27:00That was a test. Real weed smokers don't yell out,
00:27:02we got codes.
00:27:04I like smoking weed.
00:27:06You know what's cool about smoking weed?
00:27:08It makes you think about shit you normally wouldn't think about.
00:27:10Like, I was sitting around the house the other day smoking weed,
00:27:12and I got to thinking,
00:27:14is it possible for a male midget...
00:27:18I gotta be high to be thinking about midgets.
00:27:20I said, is it possible for a male midget
00:27:22to have a real big dick?
00:27:24Like, I ain't on no gas station.
00:27:26I ain't on no gas station.
00:27:28I ain't on no gas station.
00:27:30I ain't on no gas station.
00:27:32Like, I ain't on no gas station,
00:27:34but everything on a midget be tiny.
00:27:36You ever see their fingers?
00:27:38They look like them little orange baby carrots.
00:27:40Like, could a midget actually have some shit like this?
00:27:44And I actually know famous midget people.
00:27:46Like, I'm good friends with Lil Webster.
00:27:48I got his number on my cell phone.
00:27:50I don't know why, but I got the shit.
00:27:52And I was hanging out with Lil Webster one time,
00:27:54and he told me some shit that blew my mind.
00:27:56He says when he has sex,
00:27:58he don't like fucking women his size.
00:28:00And I was like, fuck normal-sized women?
00:28:02And I was sitting around the house smoking weed,
00:28:04and I got to thinking,
00:28:06if Lil Webster was fucking a grown-sized woman,
00:28:08doggie style,
00:28:10is he actually standing up in the bed?
00:28:14Like, you get a woman on all fours on the mattress,
00:28:16your feet flat,
00:28:18is he standing straight up in the mattress?
00:28:20Like, if you walked in on some shit like that,
00:28:22your instinct would be to leave.
00:28:24But you'll check that shit out for a hot second.
00:28:26You walk in like,
00:28:28oh, shit, I'm sorry.
00:28:32Nigga, look at this.
00:28:34This is crazy.
00:28:36No, he's standing on a Nike shoebox.
00:28:38I can't believe this shit.
00:28:40And I don't think we value midgets enough.
00:28:42I think we take them for granted.
00:28:44Because I don't give a fuck how bad your day is.
00:28:46You see a midget, you perk up.
00:28:48Because when you leave your house,
00:28:50you're not guaranteed to have a midget sighting.
00:28:52You're not guaranteed.
00:28:54How often do you leave your house
00:28:56and spot a midget?
00:28:58It's rare.
00:29:00You could be having the worst day in the world.
00:29:02You see a midget, you're like, oh, shit, a midget.
00:29:04And when there is a midget sighting,
00:29:06it's always one.
00:29:08You've never seen a pack of midgets.
00:29:10You've never seen that.
00:29:12I remember one time I saw 15 midgets
00:29:14walking down the street.
00:29:16I had a taste for hot wings all of a sudden.
00:29:18They like the little drumette piece.
00:29:20They like the smaller... Okay.
00:29:22I remember I told that joke one time.
00:29:24There was an actual midget in the crowd.
00:29:26He got pissed off.
00:29:28He said some shit fucked my whole night up.
00:29:30He was like, nigga, watch your nuts.
00:29:32I was like, what?
00:29:34Like, I've had to watch my back a few times,
00:29:36but I have never had to watch my nuts.
00:29:38I was scared.
00:29:40I went straight home.
00:29:42My girl was like, I thought you was with your boys.
00:29:44I said, midget told me, watch my nuts.
00:29:46I'm serious.
00:29:48I filed a police report and everything.
00:29:50I'm like, he about this high.
00:29:52I'm like, oh my gosh.
00:29:54And a little propeller hat.
00:29:56The motherfucker nipped me on the way.
00:29:58It was terrible.
00:30:00Like I said, I don't drink with white people.
00:30:02And I don't smoke weed with Asians.
00:30:04Again, not that I got anything
00:30:06against Asian people.
00:30:08It's just y'all fuck up my high, man.
00:30:10You know, when you smoke weed,
00:30:12the point is to be in a happy place.
00:30:14You're not supposed to be thinking
00:30:16about traumatic shit.
00:30:18Every time I smoke weed with my Asian friends,
00:30:20their eyes close a little bit.
00:30:22And they three quarters of the way there.
00:30:24That shit be confusing.
00:30:26I be three hits in. I'm like,
00:30:28Ching Lee!
00:30:30I'm like, nigga, I'm up. I'm just high.
00:30:32I said, all right, we'll do like this every five minutes or something.
00:30:34It's fucking confusing.
00:30:38I like to smoke weed
00:30:40and watch National Geographic
00:30:42because I like the nature channel.
00:30:44Like I want to go to Africa one day,
00:30:46go on a safari, see the animals
00:30:48and their natural habitat.
00:30:50But the difference between us and y'all is
00:30:52we stay in the truck.
00:30:54White people, y'all got some shit called
00:30:56up close and personal.
00:30:58It's amazing, too, because that's why
00:31:00black people, we just know certain shit.
00:31:02Like white people, that's why I study y'all,
00:31:04envy y'all. I'm envious of y'all.
00:31:06Y'all a race. Y'all do whatever the fuck
00:31:08y'all want to do. Y'all are free.
00:31:10Y'all the only race of people that could
00:31:12look at a wild lion and go,
00:31:14I can be friends with that.
00:31:16That's why y'all are always on
00:31:18when animals attack.
00:31:20You will never see black people
00:31:22on when animals attack.
00:31:24You might see us on when cops attack,
00:31:26but you will never see us
00:31:28on when animals attack.
00:31:30Y'all would do shit like tranquilize a lion
00:31:32and hold that motherfucker till he wake up.
00:31:34And that'd be heavy shit to y'all.
00:31:36Y'all be in the camera.
00:31:38Well,
00:31:40my partner Bob and I,
00:31:42we've been tracking this particular
00:31:44beast for quite some time.
00:31:46Her name is Utulu. She's six months old.
00:31:48We just shot her
00:31:50with five cc's of tetracordylene darts.
00:31:52When she gets up,
00:31:54she's gonna be fucking pissed.
00:31:56Oh my God, Bob,
00:31:58do you feel your heart pounding? This is amazing.
00:32:00Oh my God, she's getting up.
00:32:02Wow!
00:32:04She mauled me. What an experience.
00:32:06The Africans don't be out there fucking with the lions.
00:32:08They ask them, Mr. Mutumbu,
00:32:10why you don't play with the lions?
00:32:12Fuck him and fuck you.
00:32:14That shit is not in the brochure.
00:32:16I'm not doing that shit.
00:32:18When my shift is over, I want to go home
00:32:20to my children, Mangulu, Mungala,
00:32:22and ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
00:32:24I can't do it fucking with that.
00:32:26When the shit drop, you better come.
00:32:28I will leave you in the car.
00:32:30It's rules.
00:32:34Ain't no African people here, is it?
00:32:36Are you African, dog?
00:32:38My bad.
00:32:40I don't want to piss you off.
00:32:42Motherfucker.
00:32:52You know what's fucked up?
00:32:54African people don't like black people.
00:32:58Y'all know they treat us like shit.
00:33:00They talk down to us.
00:33:02They think they better than us.
00:33:04And I don't understand,
00:33:06because we're from the same tribe, kind of.
00:33:08But they like white people, though.
00:33:10They treat y'all like family.
00:33:12As soon as y'all come around, they get excited.
00:33:14Excuse me, Mr. White Man,
00:33:16thank you for bringing us here.
00:33:18We love you.
00:33:20Yay, the white man.
00:33:24As soon as they see us, they get an attitude.
00:33:26Hey, how you doing?
00:33:28This nigga.
00:33:30We don't like the black man in America.
00:33:32Motherfucker, you don't work, you don't do shit.
00:33:34We don't like you, you black motherfucker.
00:33:36Like, who are you calling black, motherfucker?
00:33:38I'm brown, you're midnight.
00:33:40Who the fuck are you calling black?
00:33:42Like, nigga, if you stood up against a building,
00:33:44you'd look like an alien.
00:33:46Who the fuck are you calling black?
00:33:48This shit is unjust.
00:33:50African men don't understand why,
00:33:52when they come to America,
00:33:54they have a hard time getting American pussy.
00:33:56You can't be that aggressive with American women,
00:33:58especially black women.
00:34:00You got to know how to talk.
00:34:02You got to come correct.
00:34:04And African women are very obedient.
00:34:06They tell they women what to do. It's not even an issue.
00:34:08Bitch, when they come home,
00:34:10you...
00:34:14I don't know why they do that.
00:34:18You better clean this shit from the floor.
00:34:20I don't...
00:34:22They be in the club stalking women out here.
00:34:24You can't even see them. They be as black as my jacket.
00:34:26You just see the yellow of their eyes
00:34:28from a distance,
00:34:30looking like Congo in the bush.
00:34:32As soon as you go buy your drink,
00:34:34they jump out the shadows and scare the shit out of you.
00:34:36Bitch, what is your name? Come here. Don't run from me.
00:34:40You're going to be my wife.
00:34:44They're hunters.
00:34:48I think that's the key to racism, though.
00:34:52You got to be willing to invest in other people's cultures.
00:34:54At the end of the day, I don't give a fuck what color you are.
00:34:56Everybody got something to bring to the table.
00:34:58And life is short, man. Sample that shit.
00:35:00I don't know what you might be missing.
00:35:02Why deprive yourself of a great human experience?
00:35:04Because you fucking mad. It's ridiculous.
00:35:06That's why I appreciate a good culture. I appreciate a good accent.
00:35:08You got the right accent, you can get away with a lot of shit.
00:35:10You be in a club and say something foul to a woman
00:35:12in an American accent, she might slap the shit out of you.
00:35:14Like, excuse me, baby, I don't mean to bother you,
00:35:16but you got a fat ass.
00:35:18I'd love to take you home and fuck the shit out you.
00:35:20Motherfucker.
00:35:22English accent.
00:35:24That just roll off the tongue different.
00:35:26Excuse me, I don't mean to bother you,
00:35:28but I'd love to take you to a motel and fuck your doggy self a little bit.
00:35:30You know what I mean?
00:35:32Motherfucker, where you from?
00:35:34That's just...
00:35:36Oh, my God.
00:35:38Say something else.
00:35:40Ladies, y'all laughing.
00:35:42Some of the fellas might try that on the way home.
00:35:44Did you have a good time at the comedy shows tonight?
00:35:46Did you really?
00:35:48The next light, could you give me a little bit of head?
00:35:50Just a little bit.
00:35:52I don't want much, just want you to polish me knob.
00:35:54You know what I mean?
00:35:56I ain't even gonna lie.
00:35:58I'll use that shit to get some pussy.
00:36:00I'll walk up to a woman and say anything.
00:36:02Excuse me, you know what time it is?
00:36:04Oh, my God, your accent is beautiful.
00:36:06Where you from?
00:36:08I just make shit up.
00:36:10McDonald's, England.
00:36:12Have you ever heard of it?
00:36:14I live right over Egg McMuffin Lane.
00:36:16Have you ever heard of it?
00:36:18Oh, my God, girl, you live over Egg McMuffin.
00:36:20Let's go.
00:36:22I tell you what accent is not sexy
00:36:24and that dot-towel shit.
00:36:26Ladies, trust me, you do not want that on top of you
00:36:28on a Saturday night.
00:36:30I'm going to give it to you.
00:36:32I know you want it, you dirty bitch.
00:36:34I know you want it.
00:36:36I'm going to give you my bakasani beef,
00:36:38you motherfucker.
00:36:40Say my name, say Pumasanji.
00:36:42Pumasanji.
00:36:46What's my drawers?
00:36:48I'm sorry, Pumasanji, I'm just not feeling it.
00:36:50Because it's hard to ask a woman
00:36:52for certain sexual favors.
00:36:54Ladies, y'all have advantages.
00:36:56Y'all want a man to do something nasty to y'all.
00:36:58Y'all got all kind of cute little sayings and shit
00:37:00y'all use.
00:37:02Could you please go downtown?
00:37:04How do you ask a woman
00:37:06to gargle your nuts?
00:37:08Can you gargle my nuts?
00:37:10Put them in your mouth and...
00:37:14It's just not sexy.
00:37:16I didn't see my first India
00:37:18I didn't see my first India
00:37:20until I was 15 years old.
00:37:22Fuck me up, I didn't know what to make of them.
00:37:24It's like, what the fuck are you?
00:37:26Like, I grew up around black people and white people,
00:37:28I knew what that was. I saw India and I was like,
00:37:30what the fuck are you?
00:37:32You got nigga skin with white people hair,
00:37:34what the fuck are you?
00:37:36And you can't call them black, they're as dark as us,
00:37:38but they get offended.
00:37:40Hey brother, how you doing?
00:37:42I'm not your brother.
00:37:44Don't call me you, I am not you.
00:37:46If you can't get me out to rob them then all of a sudden we the same.
00:37:48Give me your money motherfucker.
00:37:50Brother, don't do this, we are the same.
00:37:52Please, your chocolate and peanut butter,
00:37:54we are the same.
00:37:56We come together, we are the same.
00:38:02That's what I love about coming back to New York
00:38:04is the culture, man, like fucking Italians.
00:38:06Do we have any Italians in here?
00:38:08Any Italians? Are you Italian, baby?
00:38:10I love Italians, man.
00:38:12You know what I love about Italian people?
00:38:14that only they know what it means.
00:38:15Like, you ever heard an Italian person say this phrase?
00:38:17Half a fag. What the fuck does that mean?
00:38:20Like, you could be around an Italian person
00:38:22and say some normal shit like,
00:38:23man, you know what, usually on the weekends,
00:38:25me and my girl go out clubbing and shit,
00:38:27but we decided to stay in this weekend
00:38:29and make it a blockbuster night.
00:38:30So we rented this movie, Steel Magnolias.
00:38:32Now, I know it's a chick flick, but I'm gonna be honest.
00:38:34Towards the end, I actually choked up,
00:38:36cried a little bit.
00:38:37Whoa! Not for nothing, you sound like half a fag.
00:38:42The fuck does that mean?
00:38:45Even when they explain it to you,
00:38:46the meaning makes less sense than the term.
00:38:48Like, what does that mean?
00:38:49I don't know, you meet a guy in a bar,
00:38:51you throw back a couple of drinks,
00:38:52next thing you know, you take him to the bathroom,
00:38:54you pull down your trousers, you pull out your cock,
00:38:56you shove it halfway down his throat,
00:38:57somewhere in the process, you go,
00:38:59whoa, he's saying for me, half a fucking fag.
00:39:05That makes no sense.
00:39:08And young brothers kill me,
00:39:10because we love Italian culture, man.
00:39:12Like, the rappers and shit,
00:39:13they always name themselves after old-school mobsters
00:39:16and shit, which is kind of stupid to me,
00:39:18because, you know, old-school Italians hate black people.
00:39:21They call us all kind of moulions and niggers and shit.
00:39:23But the funny thing is, like, old-school Italians are funny,
00:39:26because any time you hang around them,
00:39:27they will say the most racist shit in front of you.
00:39:30And as long as they ended with, no offense, it's okay.
00:39:34Like, I remember one time, I went to go visit a friend of mine
00:39:36in a bar in Brooklyn, Italian neighborhood.
00:39:38I walked in the bar, right away, the dude knew who I was.
00:39:40He's like, whoa, there he is,
00:39:42fucking guy from Mad TV, Aries Spares.
00:39:44Hey, my friend, let me tell you,
00:39:46me and my kids, we watch you every Saturday night.
00:39:48You're the fucking best. You're the fucking best.
00:39:50Bartender, for my friend, a drink.
00:39:52Let me guess, you people, you like the fucking Hennessy.
00:39:54I know.
00:39:56Fucked up, because I wanted a Hennessy.
00:39:58I didn't understand how...
00:40:00So he gets me to drink, and he starts telling this story
00:40:03to his boys, and it's the most racist shit ever.
00:40:05Tommy, Mikey, you hear about Richie?
00:40:07Yeah, guy's in jail, doing a bid.
00:40:09Killed his wife, caught a fucking Amulion.
00:40:11Can you believe that? I mean, let's be honest,
00:40:13between yous and me, we always knew
00:40:15Jeannie had a thing for the pepper.
00:40:17But to actually fucking eggplant.
00:40:20Can you imagine that?
00:40:22You kiss your wife goodbye, you get in your car,
00:40:24you drive away, you're two, three blocks from your house,
00:40:26you realize, whoa, forgot my fucking glasses.
00:40:28You turn the car around, you go back into the house,
00:40:30you kick open the bedroom door,
00:40:32there she is, getting the au braju from Curious George.
00:40:35But let's look at the bright side.
00:40:37At least it wasn't none of our wives.
00:40:39Can you imagine your wife fucking a Raisinette?
00:40:41Ah, Marron, God forbid.
00:40:43Hey, Aries, no offense, salut.
00:40:50That's the most racist shit, man.
00:40:52I don't know, man, it's fucking crazy.
00:40:54They do make great movies, though.
00:40:56I like all those Italian mobster movies and shit, you know?
00:40:59Like, I'm really trying to make it in Hollywood,
00:41:01like I want to be a movie star. That's my dream.
00:41:03But I'm finding out Hollywood is not what you think it's about.
00:41:06People move out to L.A. thinking this shit is about talent.
00:41:08Shit is not about talent. It's about sex appeal.
00:41:11It's part of my game I got to work on.
00:41:14Got to be in shape to be a movie star, man.
00:41:17You know, my problem is I like cupcakes too much.
00:41:20I'm serious, sometimes on a Saturday night,
00:41:22if I got a choice between some pussy and a cupcake...
00:41:28sometimes cupcake win.
00:41:30It's kind of like pussy, if you think about it,
00:41:32especially if you heat it up in the microwave for 15 seconds.
00:41:35It's all warm on the inside, creamy in the middle,
00:41:37and when it's over, it's much easier to wash that smell off your dick.
00:41:40I'm trying to tell you.
00:41:42Fuck y'all. Funny to me. I don't give a fuck. Funny to me.
00:41:46It's hard for blacks to make it in Hollywood too, man,
00:41:49because the rules are different, you know?
00:41:51Hollywood, you got to be humble no matter what color you are,
00:41:54but if you're black, you really got to be fucking humble, you know?
00:41:57Because sometimes it don't matter how good you are.
00:41:59I remember I had lunch with Chris Rock one time.
00:42:01He gave me the best advice. He was like,
00:42:03look, man, all I can tell you is, one, keep writing,
00:42:05and two, try not to piss these white folks off,
00:42:07because that shit is true.
00:42:09It don't matter how good you are, if you're angry,
00:42:11if you the angry black man, they don't fuck with you.
00:42:13Case in point, Paul Mooney. This motherfucker's a legend.
00:42:16Everybody, y'all know Paul Mooney.
00:42:18This nigga wrote for Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy.
00:42:20You a bad motherfucker when you writing for other bad motherfuckers.
00:42:23The problem with Paul is, Paul will tell you he's a bad motherfucker.
00:42:27He'll shoot himself in the foot.
00:42:29One time I tried to get him to do a job for MADtv.
00:42:31I wanted him to be a writer.
00:42:33I said, yo, we already a great show. With Paul, he'll take us to the next level.
00:42:36Paul will go into the fucking meeting and shoot himself in the foot.
00:42:39As soon as he walked in, the producers were like,
00:42:41Paul, Aries recommends you highly. He thinks you're great.
00:42:44Let me ask you, are you familiar with our show?
00:42:46Paul went right into it.
00:42:48I've seen your show. All of you niggas have stolen my material.
00:42:51You've all stolen from me. I've seen it.
00:42:53It doesn't matter. No, homie, homie, listen, listen.
00:42:56In Living Color, Saturday Night Live, you all have stolen my shit.
00:43:00First you stole niggas, then you stole my material.
00:43:06And in case you didn't know, I invented comedy.
00:43:08Nigga, I invented it.
00:43:10And then later on, I'll see Paul and go, Paul, how did it work?
00:43:13Homie, they're not gonna hire me. I'm too real. I'm too real.
00:43:16They're scared of me, homie. I'm too real. Trust me.
00:43:18They love niggas that grin. When you grin, you win.
00:43:21All the niggas that grin, win.
00:43:23Look at Wayne Brady. They love that nigga.
00:43:26That nigga grins.
00:43:28That nigga, he has a hairdo from the 50s.
00:43:31He wears a perm. He's a throwback nigga.
00:43:33They love him. They love him. Homie, it's true.
00:43:36White folks will tell you, why can't you be more like Wayne?
00:43:39We love Wayne. They love grinning niggas.
00:43:42What about that other nigga that played basketball for the Lakers?
00:43:44The nigga, he owns businesses. The nigga with AIDS, Magic Johnson.
00:43:47They love that grinning nigga.
00:43:49That nigga grinned his way through AIDS, nigga. It's true.
00:43:54Have you ever seen that nigga's grin?
00:43:56It's from temple to temple. It's huge.
00:43:59That nigga looks like the cat from Alice in Wonderland.
00:44:01They love that nigga.
00:44:08Here's the thing.
00:44:10If you're not grinning, they'll talk about you.
00:44:12It scares white folks. It scares them.
00:44:14I remember one time I was on a lot.
00:44:16And they said, good morning, Paul.
00:44:18And I didn't grin. I just nodded my head.
00:44:20They talk about you.
00:44:23Why is that nigga not grinning?
00:44:26That nigga, doesn't he know where he is?
00:44:29That nigga should be grinning.
00:44:31And if you grin too fast, you scare white folks.
00:44:34I said good morning to a white woman. I grinned real fast.
00:44:36That bitch was scared. I said good morning.
00:44:38She said, ah! Ah!
00:44:40That bitch took off winning.
00:44:42Nigga, it's true.
00:44:47Is that nigga gay?
00:44:53Nigga, it's true.
00:44:55They love it.
00:44:57You got to be humble, man.
00:45:01It's crazy, man.
00:45:03I got a lot of respect for the art, man.
00:45:05I love all them kind of movies.
00:45:07My favorite movies are them gladiator movies.
00:45:09Gladiator with Russell Crowe.
00:45:11Troy with Brad Pitt. Braveheart.
00:45:13I don't even like it for the action and the violence.
00:45:15I like it for the dialogue.
00:45:17That's some smooth shit, the way they talk in the movies.
00:45:19It's like they got their own language. You heard it before.
00:45:21To my lord, but that's how they say it.
00:45:23My lord.
00:45:25Let it be known that Xerxes is a kind god king.
00:45:27And he offers his declaration as an alternative to war.
00:45:29Now let me speak with the nobles
00:45:31or I will engage with my military.
00:45:33It's military, but military.
00:45:35The other character is always some pompous, arrogant asshole.
00:45:37Amethyst, please, spare me of your banality.
00:45:41This is not about war.
00:45:43This is about my daughter's hand in marriage.
00:45:45So neither try to seduce me nor bore me
00:45:47with the belligerence of your insolence.
00:45:49I'll be in a theater eating my popcorn like,
00:45:51God damn, who got diabetes?
00:45:59There's some niggas in here that don't even think I said anything wrong.
00:46:05Like nigga, my grandmama got the insolence.
00:46:13Like that's one of my fantasies.
00:46:15Like I want to role play like that.
00:46:17I want to roll up one time and be like, look, baby, don't cook nothing.
00:46:19I'm going to come home and pretend to be a Roman warrior.
00:46:21And we're going to send our son out to the store
00:46:23so I have some time alone to seduce you.
00:46:25And I come in the house talking that shit.
00:46:27Wretched is how I feel
00:46:29as I spew these words of hostility from my lips.
00:46:33Ah, there you are, Lakeisha.
00:46:37The beauty of my seduction.
00:46:39How I long to ravish the concubines of your clavicle.
00:46:43But first I must silence these roars
00:46:45that stem from my belly due to hunger.
00:46:47For it is only fit for a king to dine on the killing of a carcass
00:46:49after a day of duly wages.
00:46:53Ah, there he is, my son, my seed, my young loin.
00:46:55The mirrored me that spawns
00:46:57from the spew of my male manes.
00:47:01I want you to take these metals of currency
00:47:03and go down to the local marketplace
00:47:05and trade them for a feast of yeast and wine.
00:47:07Now hither away
00:47:09before the third planet from the sun is played by darkness
00:47:11at a command from the higher lords.
00:47:13As for you, my love,
00:47:15only when darkness is among us
00:47:17will I shower you with the fire that burns deep underneath my cloak.
00:47:21For only your seduction can force me to fall to
00:47:23bended knee and sip the wet
00:47:25spicy nectar which flows
00:47:27from the purr of your kitty cats.
00:47:29She's like, huh?
00:47:31I'm like, bitch, I'm trying to eat your pussy.
00:47:33I need you to follow me and keep up.
00:47:35I can't work under these conditions.
00:47:37I don't know, man. It's crazy. Too much.
00:47:39You know, I respect the art.
00:47:41Like, I get upset when I hear about these actors
00:47:43that get paid $20 million a movie to act.
00:47:45And the key word is act.
00:47:47But they pay this to dudes who never can fucking act.
00:47:49How do you pay Salone and Schwarzenegger $20 million a movie?
00:47:51Pay that to the dudes who deserve it.
00:47:53Like Pacino, De Niro, Denzel.
00:47:55This guy's a fucking actress, man.
00:47:57Because to this day, one of my favorite movies of all time
00:47:59is Heat with Pacino and De Niro.
00:48:01Anybody that's ever seen the movie knows what I'm talking about.
00:48:03It's like they took the two greatest actors
00:48:05of all time and put them in a scene together.
00:48:07If you've never seen the movie, go rent it, smoke a joint.
00:48:09It's great.
00:48:11They got that scene where they meet for the first time
00:48:13and Pacino's sitting there with De Niro.
00:48:15He's bringing shit down to him.
00:48:17He's like, you, sir, are a bad guy.
00:48:19I am the police.
00:48:21This is my job to stop guys like you.
00:48:23Murderers, rapists, killers.
00:48:25This is what I do.
00:48:27There may come a time when our paths cross.
00:48:31I'm gonna have to take you down.
00:48:33I won't like it, but I'll do it.
00:48:35Keeps me hot on my toes where I gotta be.
00:48:37De Niro comes back.
00:48:39You know, there's a flip side to that coin.
00:48:41A friend of mine, Jimmy, once told me,
00:48:43never get attached to anything
00:48:45that you cannot walk out on in 15 seconds flat
00:48:47if you spot the heat coming around the corner.
00:48:49And I also like guys like you that like guys like me
00:48:51because you keep me hot on my toes
00:48:53where I gotta be.
00:48:55And you're right.
00:48:57Our paths, they may cross.
00:48:59I'm gonna have to take you down.
00:49:01I won't like it, but I will not hesitate.
00:49:03Great scene.
00:49:05Now, hold up. Picture the same scene
00:49:07with Stallone and Schwarzenegger.
00:49:09You ain't gonna be able to understand shit.
00:49:11Stallone is doing...
00:49:13But you know...
00:49:19You know, there's a flip side to this coin.
00:49:21I'm gonna have to take you down.
00:49:23I won't like it, but I'll do it.
00:49:25Oh, oh, oh.
00:49:27Even deaf people are like,
00:49:29what do you think?
00:49:31I don't understand.
00:49:33What do you think?
00:49:35Can you imagine him
00:49:37asking this woman for head?
00:49:39Maria, come on. Give me head. Go down.
00:49:41Don't come up for air.
00:49:43Breathe through your ears.
00:49:45Fellas, you want to freak your woman out
00:49:47during sex? Make that noise or the fuck up.
00:49:49You'll be hitting her from the back.
00:49:51The fuck is wrong with you?
00:49:53Don't worry
00:49:55about what's going on up here.
00:49:57Put your head down.
00:49:59Ladies, it'll work for you, too.
00:50:01You don't want to give your man head? Do that.
00:50:03It'll stop immediately.
00:50:05As soon as you get down there...
00:50:07Bitch, what the fuck?
00:50:09What, you making keys or something?
00:50:11No, you ain't gonna put
00:50:13a handicap sign on my balls. I'm good to go.
00:50:15That's a good noise to make
00:50:17if you want privacy in a public bathroom.
00:50:19You will clear that motherfucker right out.
00:50:21As soon as you get in there...
00:50:23Sir, are you all right?
00:50:25Get down. Get out of the way.
00:50:27It's going to be an explosion.
00:50:29Get to the chopper now.
00:50:31I don't know why he says that.
00:50:33He says that in every move.
00:50:35Get to the chopper now.
00:50:37I like to make that noise on a crowded elevator,
00:50:39especially if I got to fart.
00:50:41People just assume there's something wrong with me.
00:50:43As soon as I rip one...
00:50:45Oh, my God, what was that?
00:50:47Smell it. It's nasty.
00:50:49Smell it.
00:50:51Get to the chopper. Get down.
00:50:53Oh, my God, he's retarded.
00:50:55He didn't even have a helmet on.
00:50:57You know what's funny?
00:50:59Some of y'all are laughing,
00:51:01but some of y'all are going to go home and fuck tonight.
00:51:03And when you come, you're going to do that.
00:51:05It's going to be hilarious.
00:51:07Like, girl, I know you...
00:51:09I'm finished. Get me a paper towel.
00:51:11Come here.
00:51:13Wipe me down. Get to the chopper now.
00:51:15Don't drink and drive,
00:51:17because if you get pulled over,
00:51:19that's exactly how you sound.
00:51:21Sir, have you been drinking?
00:51:23Hide the Jaeger and Patron to the chopper now.
00:51:25We're going to need backup.
00:51:27We're going to need backup.
00:51:29And apparently we need a chopper.
00:51:31I don't know why, but...
00:51:35I actually...
00:51:37I actually met Arnold Schwarzenegger, man.
00:51:39True story.
00:51:41I was doing a show
00:51:43in San Jose, California,
00:51:45and it's like a five-and-a-half-hour drive
00:51:47outside of L.A.,
00:51:49and I stopped at a Chevron,
00:51:51and this motherfucker was on pump number seven
00:51:53Now, I don't really get starstruck.
00:51:55Like, if this had been Van Damme or Seagal,
00:51:57I'd have been like, whatever.
00:51:59This is fucking Terminator. This is Conan.
00:52:01Like, I grew up on this motherfucker.
00:52:03And I saw him, and I was so excited.
00:52:05I was like, yo, Arnold, man, I love your shit.
00:52:07He didn't even look at me.
00:52:09He was just like, yeah, how are you?
00:52:11And I called my boy, and I said,
00:52:13nigga, you ain't going to believe it.
00:52:15Arnold Schwarzenegger is on pump number seven
00:52:17filling up.
00:52:19He was like, nigga, you lying.
00:52:21And I swear, he went just like this.
00:52:23It's like his Marco Polo.
00:52:25He understood.
00:52:27It was like a mating call.
00:52:29He knew.
00:52:31Some of the fellas
00:52:33might remember where I got that.
00:52:35Remember the scene in Predator
00:52:37when he got ready to fight the alien
00:52:39and he covered himself with mud?
00:52:41He was like, I'm here. Kill me.
00:52:43Come on. Do it.
00:52:45That shit.
00:52:47Funny, man.
00:52:49Tried to, uh...
00:52:51I tried to rent this movie,
00:52:53and again, not a gay thing,
00:52:55but I was in a video store,
00:52:57and I saw that Brokeback Mountain shit,
00:52:59and I was just like, how do motherfuckers watch that?
00:53:01And I thought, maybe, let me try.
00:53:03I couldn't reach for it.
00:53:05My hand caught arthritis, so I couldn't.
00:53:07Seems like there's a gay explosion
00:53:09going on in America right now.
00:53:11Like, gay people want certain rights.
00:53:13They want to adopt kids. They want to get married.
00:53:15And I don't want to hate on nobody's happiness,
00:53:17I'm anti-gay.
00:53:19I'm not anti-gay, I'm just pro-morals.
00:53:21Let me explain what I'm talking about.
00:53:23If gay people want to get married and adopt kids,
00:53:25they should have the right to do that.
00:53:27Gay people should have all the same rights as everybody else
00:53:29and be allowed to live a life free of discrimination
00:53:31and verbal and physical harassment.
00:53:33Because the thing is this, whether you agree with it or not,
00:53:35or whether you like it or not,
00:53:37they're human beings and deserve to be treated
00:53:39with dignity and respect.
00:53:41They deserve to be treated fair.
00:53:43Now, that's the key word here, fair.
00:53:45Let's paralyze that word for a minute.
00:53:47We've become so politically correct as a nation
00:53:49that you're not allowed to have an opinion anymore
00:53:51without being labeled and judged.
00:53:53Just like it's okay for gay people to march down the street
00:53:55and go, we're here, we're queer, get used to it.
00:53:57And let you know how gay they are
00:53:59while standing on a float made of balls.
00:54:01Free of judgment.
00:54:05How come is it that straight people can never say
00:54:07that we morally disagree with homosexuality
00:54:09or denounce the lifestyle
00:54:11without then being labeled as terrible, bigoted,
00:54:13hateful human beings?
00:54:15At the end of the day, it's a fucking opinion.
00:54:17This is America. I'm allowed to my opinion.
00:54:19Just because I don't agree with what you do
00:54:21doesn't mean I'm saying you don't have the right to do it.
00:54:23But I should be able to say how I feel free of judgment.
00:54:25Like, this is some shit I often hear gay people say
00:54:27that's funny to me.
00:54:29Well, you know, we don't choose this lifestyle.
00:54:31We're born this way.
00:54:33Some people think being gay is a choice.
00:54:35Why would we choose a life of ridicule and harassment?
00:54:37This is not a choice. This is who we are.
00:54:39And I buy that.
00:54:41I'm not trying to convince the rest of us
00:54:43that what they do is normal.
00:54:47It is not normal for a man
00:54:49to bang another man in the ass.
00:54:51If that were normal, men would be able
00:54:53to impregnate each other and continue life.
00:54:55In order to have human existence,
00:54:57you need two pieces of the puzzle.
00:54:59This piece and this piece, watch this.
00:55:01Boom. This go together.
00:55:03The pussy lubricates itself with the expectation of dick.
00:55:05This shit is by design.
00:55:07This shit...
00:55:13Playing penis joust?
00:55:15That's some shit you're doing.
00:55:17Like, this is a medical fact.
00:55:19Like, I'm not making this up.
00:55:21If you think I'm making it up, Google it, look it up.
00:55:23You know, ass-fucking is one of the surefire ways
00:55:25to contract hepatitis.
00:55:27In other words, I don't give a fuck how clean your ass is
00:55:29or how much you wash it.
00:55:31There are certain germs and bacteria
00:55:33that exist inside the human ass
00:55:35that you wash away with all the soap and the water in the world.
00:55:37You can't get to it. It's internal.
00:55:39Which lets you know that ain't some shit
00:55:41you're supposed to do.
00:55:43Now, people do it.
00:55:45Whether it's man-on-man or man-on-woman, people do it.
00:55:47But just because you can doesn't mean you should.
00:55:49Ladies, trust me, if we could, we'd fuck you in your nose.
00:55:53That would be the latest sensation.
00:55:55Bitch, I don't want no pussy on your head.
00:55:57I want some nostril, bitch. Flare up.
00:55:59Get mad. Flare up!
00:56:01Can you imagine what that would sound like?
00:56:04Shit would be terrible.
00:56:10And if there are any gay people here,
00:56:12I don't want to offend you if you're gay.
00:56:14If you're gay and that's your thing, rock on.
00:56:16I personally don't understand.
00:56:18I have too much respect for the female body.
00:56:20Women, when y'all are naked, all this shit up here
00:56:22and the curves, it's a work of art. I love it.
00:56:24I don't know what it is.
00:56:26It's something about when your titties pop out, music come out of nowhere.
00:56:28Like...
00:56:30It's beautiful.
00:56:32You ever seen male nuts?
00:56:34That's some ugly shit.
00:56:36That shit look like meat with hair around it.
00:56:38I pull my shit out right now.
00:56:40It look like Smeagol from Lords of the Ring.
00:56:42Deprecious. Deprecious.
00:56:44It's ugly.
00:56:46And don't let us get out the pool.
00:56:48That shit look like Yoda.
00:56:50Pussy this is.
00:56:52It's ugly.
00:56:54Women, everything y'all do,
00:56:56y'all just do it better than us.
00:56:58Y'all just sexy by nature.
00:57:00It's instinct.
00:57:02Even when you masturbate, you don't even call it masturbation.
00:57:04You call it getting in touch with yourself.
00:57:06Y'all know how to do it.
00:57:08Y'all get your Luther Vandross and Teddy Pendergrass CDs
00:57:10and bath temperature tub
00:57:12or tub water be just right.
00:57:14Rainbow be coming through the window.
00:57:16Blue jays and canaries
00:57:18be flying in the bathroom.
00:57:20Squirrels are gathering nuts.
00:57:22It's beautiful.
00:57:24Nice.
00:57:26You ever seen men masturbate?
00:57:28My mother used to bust in the room on me.
00:57:30I was like Chewbacca from Star Wars.
00:57:32What you doing?
00:57:38Because the orgasm is a motherfucker.
00:57:40Ladies, what the fuck does it take?
00:57:42Hurry the fuck up.
00:57:44To make a man cum is very easy.
00:57:46Tug left, tug right, we there.
00:57:48Making a woman cum is like playing Zelda for Nintendo.
00:57:50You need the amulet,
00:57:52the princess's scepter,
00:57:54the bag of wizard's dust,
00:57:56the princess's helmet.
00:57:58Bitch, hurry the fuck up.
00:58:00We're trying to see the second half.
00:58:02Shit.
00:58:04Fellas, you have to stop letting women
00:58:06put all this pressure on us.
00:58:08I didn't cum.
00:58:10Bitch, I did.
00:58:12What's wrong with your shit?
00:58:14I tell a woman before we even get started,
00:58:16look, team bus leaving,
00:58:18two minutes and eight seconds.
00:58:20I'm going to scream your name twice
00:58:22and then I'm going to scratch off the clipboard.
00:58:24Your demands is too much.
00:58:26Let's fuck all night.
00:58:28Really, bitch? All night?
00:58:30You know how much shit we can do
00:58:32during the course of an entire night?
00:58:34We could watch a law and order marathon,
00:58:36play a couple of games of checkers.
00:58:38Why the fuck we got to have the room smelling
00:58:40like hot mayonnaise and motor oil?
00:58:42That shit is ridiculous.
00:58:44How many women by round of applause give head?
00:58:48Thank you for your honesty.
00:58:50Thank you.
00:58:52Thank you, motherfuckers.
00:58:54Matter of fact, when I asked the question,
00:58:56some of y'all stopped giving head.
00:58:58Like, what did he say?
00:59:00He was talking to me.
00:59:02I didn't even...
00:59:04Ladies, give head.
00:59:06It is the key to a successful relationship.
00:59:08Stop believing all that bullshit
00:59:10you see in Oprah and read the magazines
00:59:12talking about the key to a man's heart
00:59:14is through the psychological and the...
00:59:16Fuck that. Nuts.
00:59:18It's to your best interest
00:59:20to give it to us.
00:59:22Fuck it. We'll just sneak it on you when you sleep.
00:59:34Give it up.
00:59:40You know what I like about head?
00:59:42I like the noise that comes from head.
00:59:44Especially when a woman commits.
00:59:46Some of y'all be down there bullshitting.
00:59:48Y'all be treating it like it's a scoop of ice cream.
00:59:50Be...
00:59:52I like when a woman is down there
00:59:54and she make that noise you make,
00:59:56like when you bite into a slice of pizza
00:59:58that's way too fucking hot
01:00:00so you swish it around in your mouth
01:00:02so you don't burn yourself.
01:00:08I'll high-five a bitch on the forehead.
01:00:10Bam!
01:00:12Grab her by her ears.
01:00:14I love y'all.
01:00:16Ladies, commit.
01:00:18There's a wedding in it for you.
01:00:22Alright, before I get out of here
01:00:24because I got to almost wrap it up real quick.
01:00:26I want to talk about the state of hip-hop
01:00:28for a second.
01:00:30Because I'm a big hip-hop fan, man.
01:00:32I just feel like, you know,
01:00:34a lot of this southern rap is dominating hip-hop.
01:00:36And I don't want to hate on these brothers, man,
01:00:38because, you know, I'm happy to see any black man in America
01:00:40get money. It's a beautiful thing.
01:00:42But some of these southern brothers, man,
01:00:44a lot of these southern rappers, man,
01:00:46need to step their game up.
01:00:48You know what I'm saying?
01:00:50Like New York, we've dominated rap for a long time
01:00:52and I know a lot of southern people feel like
01:00:54New Yorkers are bitter,
01:00:56but come on, man, we birth-rapped.
01:00:58We started it in the South Bronx
01:01:00and lyrics is part of the fucking game.
01:01:02Like Ludacris, T.I.,
01:01:04Lil Weezy, I love them niggas, man.
01:01:06T.I. is my favorite.
01:01:08Andre 3000, one of the best lyricists in the game.
01:01:10But a lot of these southern niggas that be making
01:01:12these sing-y, song-y, catchy songs
01:01:14that five-year-olds could dance to,
01:01:16come on, man, quit that Dr. Seuss shit.
01:01:18Niggas, y'all got to step your game up.
01:01:20Because it seems like nowadays
01:01:22if you come up with any song,
01:01:24it don't matter what the lyrics are.
01:01:26You get you a southern, you know, catchy beat,
01:01:28you could spit bullshit, and it's a fucking hit.
01:01:30I know, I got one.
01:01:32So I'm gonna introduce y'all
01:01:34to my southern rap character, Big Bugga Boogaloo,
01:01:36and his hit song,
01:01:38Fuck A Book, Nigga, Look At My Dance.
01:01:40I can show you
01:01:42better than I can tell you.
01:01:48Yeah, yeah!
01:01:50Brr.
01:01:52It's going down, man.
01:01:54We about to make this motherfucker pop up on Earth.
01:01:56Get the dirty south nigga!
01:01:58Yeah.
01:02:00Thank ya, bitch.
01:02:02Brr.
01:02:04Yeah!
01:02:06Yeah!
01:02:08This your boy, Big Bugga Boogaloo.
01:02:10Big Bugga Boogaloo represent the dirty, yeah.
01:02:12I said represent the dirty, yeah.
01:02:14And this right here
01:02:16about to be the hottest joint of the summer, man.
01:02:18Feel ya, my joint, man.
01:02:20To all them teachers that said schooling wasn't important,
01:02:22I say, shit,
01:02:24fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:02:26From the dirty, dirty south,
01:02:28doing what we done.
01:02:30Making it rain with them strippers in the club.
01:02:32Pop that booty, baby.
01:02:34Everybody know, it's a recession.
01:02:36We gotten back home.
01:02:38Home.
01:02:40Got that sixty-seven candy
01:02:42shevin' droppin' to the floor.
01:02:44When I come through the hood,
01:02:46everybody know, the kids know I'm rich.
01:02:48They say that I'm the man.
01:02:50So fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:02:52Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:02:54Motherfucker.
01:02:56Look at my dance.
01:02:58Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:00Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:02Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:04Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:06Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:08Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:10Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:12Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:14Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:16Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:18Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:20Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:22Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:24Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:26Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:28Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:03:30I do a stanky leg by chillin' in my white tee.
01:03:32Eatin', laughin', tappin'.
01:03:34I be like, hey, baby.
01:03:36Lean with it, rock with it, Superman.
01:03:38Whoa, it's all the same shit.
01:03:40Just listen to the flow.
01:03:42Only got one man.
01:03:44Can this be my man?
01:03:46When I say my man, he really my man.
01:03:48I rep so hard from the north to the south.
01:03:50Got a ring full of hand and a gold full of mouth.
01:03:52Huh?
01:03:54Wait a minute, how you gonna have
01:03:56a ring of hand
01:03:58and mouth with a...
01:04:00Aw, shit.
01:04:02Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:04:04Yeah, I wanna send a big shout-out
01:04:06to all them motherfuckin' teachers
01:04:08that said I wasn't gonna be shit.
01:04:10My English teacher, my math teacher,
01:04:12my P.A. teacher,
01:04:14my Spanish teacher, oh, yeah.
01:04:16¡Vete a la mierda!
01:04:18That means fuck you in Spanish.
01:04:20¡Vete a la mierda!
01:04:22Fuck a book, nigga,
01:04:24look at my dance.
01:04:26Fuck a book, nigga,
01:04:28look at my dance.
01:04:50I remember one time I was at a strip club
01:04:52in North Carolina.
01:04:54For like nine months, that turned me off.
01:04:56So I took the money back.
01:04:58Do you know before I put that money in my pocket,
01:05:00a baby hand came out of a pussy
01:05:02and snatched a dollar back?
01:05:04Aw, shit.
01:05:06Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:05:08Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:05:10Fuck a book, nigga, look at my dance.
01:05:12Education? Shit.
01:05:14Look at my dance.
01:05:16Look at my dance.
01:05:18Look at my dance.
01:05:20Look at my dance.
01:05:22This here a ringtone, nigga.
01:05:24Lil' Weed,
01:05:26T.I., Gucci Mane.
01:05:28I'm coming for you niggas, man.
01:05:30Damn.
01:05:32Them niggas don't even know
01:05:34I graduated from Harvard.
01:05:36Hey, yo, New York, man,
01:05:38thank you. I appreciate it, baby.
01:05:40I appreciate the love.
01:05:42Thank you very much.
01:05:52Thank you.
01:06:22Thank you.
01:06:52Thank you.
01:07:22Thank you.
01:07:24Thank you.
01:07:26Thank you.
01:07:28Thank you.
01:07:30Thank you.
01:07:32Thank you.
01:07:34Thank you.
01:07:36Thank you.
01:07:38Thank you.
01:07:40Thank you.
01:07:42Thank you.
01:07:44Thank you.
01:07:46Thank you.
01:07:48Thank you.