The Genie From Down Under (1998) (S2, Ep 1)
Episode 1 of the 2nd series of the Australian kids TV series. In this episode (titled I Do, You Do, Who Do?), Bruce is desperate to tell Diana that he is a genie, but she thinks he has come to propose and while holding the opal wishes that this moment will last forever. This has an unfortunate side effect...
There is a notable difference in the 2nd series - there is a different actor in the role of Bruce (now played by Sandy Winton). Monica is also played by a different actress (now Petra Jared), but the rest of the cast are the same, including Alexandra Milman in the title role of Penelope Townes, and Glenn Meldrum as Baz.
There is a notable difference in the 2nd series - there is a different actor in the role of Bruce (now played by Sandy Winton). Monica is also played by a different actress (now Petra Jared), but the rest of the cast are the same, including Alexandra Milman in the title role of Penelope Townes, and Glenn Meldrum as Baz.
Transcript
00:00I've served a lot of masters throughout history, now I want to go back home where I can be
00:12free.
00:13Then you come along with the opal in your hand, now your every wish is my command.
00:22Genie, genie from down under, make my wish come true.
00:31Genie, genie from down under, I wish you'd do what I want you to.
00:39Genie from down under.
00:43Dad, we're free!
00:51I rub the opal in my hand, my every wish is your command.
01:03Hello, I'm Penelope Towns. I used to be very happy, I used to have a magic opal and two genies.
01:21Australia!
01:29From England.
01:31You've rubbed the opal in your hand, your every wish is our command.
01:35I wish I could win this game.
01:37But the yummy part was that they were my secret. No one else had the foggiest idea they were magic.
01:52I can do that.
01:54If things needed doing around the house, I'd just wish.
02:00And wishing is very handy around the grounds as well, let me tell you.
02:07I tried out some new looks, and in the cross country race, well, guess who won?
02:17Unfortunately, my genies didn't like living in England.
02:21Australia!
02:23And they dragged me off on magic carpet rides.
02:26Fun, you might think, well, not if you get air sick, and flying carpets don't have sick bags.
02:33Sometimes, they were really quite mean.
02:38But most of the time, I was incredibly happy.
02:51See that? My opal around mummy's neck, and him? He used to be my slave.
02:56Well, genie, but now mummy's every wish is his command.
03:00At least it will be, as soon as Bruce tells her he's a genie.
03:04Poor mummy, she'll be so, so happy, and I'll be...
03:10Hi, Pen.
03:12Are you spying on me? I can't stand it when people creep around spying on people.
03:17Pen, I want to talk to you about you and me.
03:19Why hasn't Bruce told mummy he's a genie, hmm?
03:22Because most masters treat us like slaves.
03:24Really? How awful.
03:27And he wants to be sure your mum just doesn't like him for the magic.
03:31Surely he doesn't think she'd like him for his personality.
03:34He's Australian, he doesn't have a personality.
03:37He's just trying to seduce her, isn't he?
03:39What does that mean?
03:40He's trying to use her.
03:42Nah, he just wants to marry her, and then ask her to set us free.
03:46What?
03:47We'll see about that.
03:51Mummy, mummy, mummy, you must protect yourself from this...
03:54...brutal, cunning, Australian sun.
03:57Perhaps you could take the elbow off so I can do it properly, hmm?
04:00I wish you'd just leave the sunscreen to Bruce.
04:04Huh? Oh.
04:06Don't worry, I'll make sure she's covered all over.
04:08Dad, have you told her yet?
04:10Well, it's not that easy.
04:12Oh, just squeeze the tube.
04:14Just tell her.
04:16I would tell her if people would just leave us alone.
04:18Now, come on, children. Let's leave the grown-ups alone.
04:23And that includes you too, Miss Penelope.
04:27Diana, don't you wish we could go somewhere and be alone?
04:30Mummy, be careful. If you end up alone with him, he could be dangerous.
04:34Thank you, Penelope. I'll have to cope somehow.
04:37You don't know anything about him.
04:39Then if we had some time together, I would get to know him.
04:42What if he leaves you stranded in the desert...
04:44...and you run out of water and buzzards peck out your inside bits?
04:48I wish you'd calm down and take a good look at yourself.
04:53Diana, don't you wish we could go somewhere and be alone...
04:57...in some magic spot?
04:59Oh, yes.
05:01Pen, Pen, I've got something for you.
05:03I picked them myself.
05:05For my new sister.
05:08Ooh, there's romance in the air.
05:11I've got a feeling we'll be hearing a proposal very soon.
05:22You know, Conrad, I've made a solemn vow to myself.
05:26I'm gonna get... Conrad!
05:29He was sleeping.
05:31Conrad, I've made a solemn vow to myself.
05:33I'm gonna get that opal back. It's the last thing I do.
05:37I love it. I deserve it.
05:40I need that opal. It's me. It matches me eyes.
05:44We never think about ourselves at Vonmeister Tours.
05:47We're only here to serve you.
05:49The members of the big, bigger and biggest person social club.
05:53And we can promise you some big sights.
05:56We're talking big skies and big country.
05:59Small bus.
06:13It must be hard for Baz, not having his mother around.
06:17Oh, it all happened a long time ago.
06:20A few thousand years, so...
06:23I'm sort of used to it now.
06:28It's so reassuring talking to another single parent.
06:32Yeah, I know what you mean.
06:34So, um...
06:37How do you feel about slavery?
06:41Um...
06:44I think it's terrible.
06:46Terrible?
06:48Good.
06:50A single parent has to make so many decisions.
06:53Oh, yeah. So, uh...
06:55How do you feel about having absolute power?
06:58I... I find it very uncomfortable.
07:02Good.
07:07Good.
07:11I can visualise heaven, that opal.
07:14I'm gonna use all of my wit and my charm...
07:18and my animal magnetism to make that happen.
07:21I knew there'd be a snag somewhere along the line.
07:24You better believe it.
07:30Donnie!
07:32Yeah?
07:34Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
07:44Donnie! Ha-ha-ha-ha!
07:46Donnie!
07:51Howdy-doody, Donnie!
07:53Oh, I love that Mona Lisa smile.
07:55How about you and me get some grub tonight, eh?
07:58What do you say?
08:00I wish he'd leave us now.
08:05Uh, I'll be... I'll be leaving you now.
08:08Yeah, we'll talk later, when the two of us can be alone together.
08:11That'll be great. So I'll be in touch.
08:13I'll speak to you soon, all right?
08:15Have no worries.
08:20If Bruce asks Mummy to marry him, I'll tell her it's him or me.
08:24She'll have to choose. Good plan, eh?
08:26Nah.
08:28Oh, you're right.
08:31I've got a much better plan.
08:35Mummy! Where have you been?
08:37What have you been doing? I've been worried sick.
08:40Do you know what time it is?
08:42We've just been... Mummy!
08:44Is it possible for us to have a little chat?
08:46You know, daughter to mother.
08:48Lovely.
08:52Did Penelope seem polite to you, mate?
08:57She's up to something.
09:00I feel as if you prefer Bruce to me.
09:03Oh, we're growing apart.
09:06Oh, you've become so distant, and you're always wearing the opal.
09:11Not that I care. I'm just being honest.
09:13Oh, but, Penelope, the opal's been such a good lunch, aren't it?
09:17And you are getting so obsessed with it.
09:22Penelope, um...
09:24Um...
09:27She's being nice, friendly and polite.
09:33And she is definitely up to something.
09:36Definitely.
09:39But I don't care, mate.
09:41Next time I'm alone with Diana, I'm just going to tell her I'm a genie.
09:44Good on you, Dad.
09:49Mummy, I just need a sign.
09:51Something to show me you won't forget me when you're married.
09:55I understand, darling.
09:57I'm sure we can work something out.
10:00Oi!
10:02Keep going! Keep going!
10:04Penelope, push!
10:06Push him! Push him!
10:09Push him!
10:17Hey, Daddy! Daddy!
10:20I want to talk to you about our dinner arrangement for tonight.
10:23Might have to be later.
10:25Oh.
10:29She's hot for me, mate.
10:32Dad, they're coming.
10:36I'm sorry about being such a pain.
10:38Mummy's explained how she feels about you.
10:40And if she's happy, I'm happy.
10:43Since when?
10:45Will I see you later for lunch?
10:47Thank you. I'd love to.
10:54OK. What's going on?
10:57I just want Mummy to be happy.
10:59You're up to something.
11:01Me? Don't be silly.
11:06She's up to something?
11:08Maybe she's just excited that I'm going to be her brother.
11:11Yeah, mate, that could be it.
11:15Mummy!
11:17Try this. It's called Irresistible.
11:20It always works for me.
11:22I wish I was irresistible.
11:25Hmm?
11:27Oh!
11:29Oh!
11:45Hi.
11:47Baz, we might leave the lovebirds alone.
11:50They've got things to discuss.
11:53Hi.
11:55Hi.
12:01Go on. Get into it, guys. Get into it!
12:07Love a barbie, don't you?
12:11You know, I like these people.
12:13I like them a lot.
12:15Because they're really comfortable with who they are?
12:17No, because they offer to cook their own lunch.
12:27Diana.
12:29Now that we're alone...
12:32Hey!
12:34I was rather hoping it'd be tea for two.
12:37So was I.
12:39There you go, pal. Three's a crowd.
12:41OK, mate. See you around.
12:43See you then.
12:45I've got you this special dry-to-rain for my petal.
12:48A symbol of my affection for you.
12:50Thanks, mate.
12:52Hey, what's going on?
12:54Come on, Mr Moisture, I'll throw these out for you.
12:56What about a bit of a private rendezvous later, then?
12:58Sorry, mate, you're not my type.
13:00Ow!
13:02That's more than I can say for you, Mr Moisture.
13:05Now ask her.
13:08Diana.
13:12I'd like to propose.
13:15Marriage?
13:17A toast.
13:20To the woman...
13:22I want to marry.
13:24..who is the most irresistible master I've ever had.
13:30And you're simply...
13:32The one I want to marry now!
13:38Oh!
13:40Hello, Mummy.
13:42Hi, Diana.
13:44Do you think it's possible we could have some time alone together,
13:47just the two of us, in isolation,
13:49without anybody else or any interruptions
13:52for longer than two seconds?
13:54Oh!
14:08Diana's still trying to find some time alone with me.
14:10Them flowers worked a treat.
14:12Yeah?
14:14So you cooked their lunch, darling?
14:16They cooked it for themselves.
14:18Great. Where's mine?
14:20It's gone.
14:22Where's mine gone?
14:24Well, they ate it. They ate it all.
14:26They had four days' worth of rations in one sitting.
14:28There's nothing left.
14:30It was amazing to watch.
14:32What am I going to eat?
14:34I'm starving.
14:36My stomach thinks my throat's been cut.
14:52Tell me when to press play.
14:56Look, I want to ask you something.
14:58But before I ask you something,
15:00I need to tell you something.
15:06You see, I'm a man with a past.
15:08A very long past.
15:102,000 years, at least.
15:18You see, I'm not like other men.
15:20I'm not like other women, either.
15:24Look, it's simple, really.
15:26I'm a genie.
15:30I'll get it.
15:32Get away, fast. I've got it.
15:34No, no, no.
15:40What are you doing?
15:46Music's the food of love,
15:48so we thought...
15:50I thought...
15:54The way to a man's heart
15:56is through his stomach.
15:58Did somebody mention food?
16:04We should all just go.
16:06Now.
16:18Here we go.
16:24Here we go.
16:26Ah, here he is.
16:28Any luck?
16:30I begged them for any scraps they might have,
16:32but they're even worse off than we are.
16:34People are really hurting out there.
16:36No, no, no, no.
16:38No need to panic.
16:40No need to panic at all.
16:42Because you are lucky enough
16:44to have among you
16:46a bush tiger man.
16:48When do we get to meet him?
16:50It's me.
16:52I am the so-called
16:54genius of the bush.
16:56That's how I manage to survive
16:58off the land
17:00and maintain my perfect height
17:02for weight ratio.
17:08I've never told anyone this before.
17:10Well,
17:12that is
17:14someone I'm in love with.
17:16But I have to tell you, Diana.
17:20You see, I'm a man.
17:24But I'm also a...
17:28Come on.
17:32Say it, Dad.
17:34A genie.
17:38And your every wish is my command.
17:40I wish this moment could go on and on
17:42and on forever.
17:46Forever.
17:48Forever.
17:50Forever.
17:52Forever.
17:54Forever.
17:56Forever.
17:58Oh, my lady.
18:00Oh, my lady.
18:02All the excitement and anticipation
18:04must have been too much.
18:06Oh, it sent her over the edge.
18:08Maybe I should move the open from around her neck.
18:10No, no, no, no.
18:12No, let Mozzie do it.
18:14No, I will.
18:16Leave her leadership alone for a moment.
18:18Good thinking, Mozzie.
18:22Back off. Get out of it. Don't you touch it.
18:24Well done, darling.
18:26Oh, look at that.
18:28Oh, the land.
18:30It's like a mother.
18:32We suckle at her breast.
18:34Well, anymore where that came from.
18:36Okay.
18:38Let's go for it.
18:42All right, do you want to try
18:44them little chocolate balls?
18:46The little sticky ones, they're great.
18:48What are they? Rabbit food.
18:56All you had to do was ask her to marry you.
18:58Simple. A child could do it, couldn't you, Bess?
19:00I wouldn't want to marry you, Mum. She's too old for me.
19:02What do you mean?
19:04Australians, no idea.
19:06Do I have to do everything myself?
19:08No, I'll ask her.
19:10Well, you can't now.
19:12She's a raving imbecile thanks to you.
19:14She can't even get out of her own bed.
19:16What are we going to do about that?
19:20Look, Peggy, I'll talk to her soon
19:22to get some final lines of it.
19:28Forever. Forever.
19:30Forever. Forever.
19:32Forever. Forever.
19:34Forever. Forever.
19:36Forever.
19:38Forever. Forever.
19:40Forever. Forever.
19:42Forever.
19:44I didn't know you weren't feeling well.
19:46I hope it's not my fault.
19:48I have this effect on women.
19:50They want me. They can't have me.
19:52They pine.
19:54Forever. Forever.
19:56Forever.
19:58Forever.
20:00Forever.
20:02Forever.
20:04Nice.
20:06Forever.
20:08Forever.
20:10Forever.
20:12Forever.
20:14Forever.
20:16Sorry, Dale.
20:18Forever.
20:20Forever.
20:22Forever.
20:24You rubbed the opening in your head.
20:26She was after me. She was chasing me.
20:28She's desperate. I mean, I can see how
20:30you'd be jealous and everything,
20:32but what can I say? She just loves me.
20:34I bet you wish this had never happened.
20:36I wish for heaps of things, pal.
20:38I wish them fat, ungrateful tourists were happy.
20:40That's the sort of fella I am. Always thinking of the next bloke.
20:42Don't you sometimes wish you could
20:44go back in time? Of course I do.
20:46But I'd be a monkey's uncle
20:48before I waste my time on wishful thinking.
20:50A monkey's uncle?
20:52Well, a wish is a wish, mate. You ready?
20:54We'll just go back in time.
21:24No bananas. No food.
21:26Nothing.
21:32Where is everyone?
21:34They walked out on us.
21:36One of them said he could smell food about 200 miles that direction.
21:42I hope they don't want a refund.
21:44Nah, they seem pretty happy.
21:46What?
21:54I've never told anyone this before.
21:56Well, that is
21:58someone I'm in love with.
22:02But I have to tell you, Diana.
22:04So you're dead?
22:06I'm a genie.
22:08And your every wish is my command.
22:10So I could wish that this moment
22:12would last forever? No!
22:14Well, yeah.
22:16Yeah, you could wish for that,
22:18but, um, don't.
22:20I wouldn't waste a wish on that.
22:22Not when we have the whole
22:24of our lives together.
22:26I always knew there was something special
22:28and different about you.
22:30Maybe that's why I love you.
22:32What'd I say?
22:34There's something special about you.
22:36Maybe that's why I love you.
22:38So...
22:40will you marry me?
22:42Of course.
22:50Good afternoon, Dad.
22:52Congratulations, Mummy.
22:54Here you are, darling.
22:56I told you it was lucky.
22:58Oh, thank you, Mummy.
23:00I nearly forgot all about that.
23:02Uh-oh. What are you doing?
23:04Penelope's been feeling very vulnerable.
23:06Vulnerable?
23:08So I told her I'd give the opal back
23:10to you. Very vulnerable.
23:12It's been so lucky for me.
23:14And now I don't need it anymore.
23:16Yes, you do, and I do too.
23:18This climate's so harsh on Mummy's skin.
23:20I just wish we were back in England.
23:24Go there, Uncle.
23:26I'm not a monkey.
23:28It's not in public.
23:30Hey, would you blow stuff to go on a tour of the outback?
23:32We get all sorts. All sorts of people come up there.
23:34They'd love it. You'd love it. Well, I can tell you'd love it.
23:36The last time we had a bag of fat slobs, hey?
23:38Do you recognise us?
23:40We're the fat slobs.
23:42The weight just drained off us
23:44when we were walking through the scrub.
23:46We've never been so happy.
23:48When I made that comment about fat slobs,
23:50I didn't mean it in a negative sort of way.
23:52Would you like a banana?
23:58It's so good to be home in England.
24:00I'm sorry, Bruce,
24:02but it's all over between you and Mummy.
24:04She's forgotten everything.
24:08Hello, Bruce.
24:10I've been thinking about
24:12having a picnic by a river.
24:14Oh, really?
24:16Well, I know a few magic spots.
24:18I'm sure you do.
24:26You just can't beat
24:28that first spark of love.
24:30I'm really lucky to have had it more than once.
24:34We're the same woman.
24:36I thought you said
24:38your mum's happiness was more important
24:40than anything else in the whole world.
24:42And I meant every word of it, Baz.
24:44You see, when I'm not happy,
24:46my mother's not happy either.
24:48So I have to keep myself happy
24:50for Mummy's sake.