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00:00Can you believe it's been five years since our first date?
00:06I know.
00:08Do you think I should start watching the Flash TV show?
00:17That's what you're thinking about?
00:19Well, one of the things.
00:22Are any of them me?
00:24Yes.
00:26I thought, I can't decide if I should watch the Flash TV show.
00:29I know.
00:30I'll ask Amy.
00:31Anyway.
00:32What are you doing?
00:33You're right, you did kind of kill the mood.
00:34I didn't kill anything.
00:35You did, talking about your stupid TV show.
00:36Excuse me?
00:37Starting to watch a television show that might run for years isn't a decision to take lightly.
00:38I'm wrestling with a big commitment issue here.
00:39Really?
00:40That's the commitment issue you're wrestling with?
00:41I'm not.
00:42I'm not.
00:43I'm not.
00:44I'm not.
00:45I'm not.
00:46I'm not.
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03:21I'm not.
03:22I'm not.
03:24It's a good thing I'm not wearing flag underwear right now, because there's about to be a fire.
03:32Oh, it's beautiful.
03:35Oh, the girls really did a nice job.
03:37Oh, I know I wasn't into this before, but I'm so glad I get to take you to your first prom.
03:42What makes you think I didn't go to my prom?
03:44I went.
03:45Well, who'd you go with?
03:46I took a little lady I like to call loneliness.
03:51Aww.
03:52It's all right.
03:53We ended up having a threesome with her friend humiliation.
03:59Well, if I would have been there and saw you alone, I would have asked you to dance.
04:02No, you wouldn't have.
04:03Well, you don't know that.
04:04It was before my growth spurt.
04:06What?
04:07That already happened?
04:10Very funny.
04:11Well, you wouldn't have asked me either.
04:12I would have asked you, in my head, on the way home, while I was having a good cry.
04:23I've invented a science joke.
04:25Would you like to hear it?
04:26Sure.
04:27How many Edisons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
04:31How many?
04:32Who cares?
04:33He stole the idea and doesn't deserve his own joke.
04:37Is that really true?
04:38Of course.
04:39That's how you know it's a good joke.
04:41It not only entertains, it informs.
04:46Hey, sorry I didn't whoop.
04:47Barry, how many Edisons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
04:51Did you know Edison didn't actually invent the lightbulb?
04:57What do you want, Barry?
05:00Just wanted to drop this off as a little thank you for Amy.
05:02What's this for?
05:04Your idea really helped me out.
05:06My white cone quantization paper's online already.
05:08The response has been amazing.
05:11Well, that's fascinating.
05:12I can't wait to read it.
05:13You don't know me as well.
05:15Please email it to sheldon at bazinga dot biz.
05:19Why dot biz?
05:20Because I just gave you the business.
05:23And also bazinga dot com was taken.
05:26This is an easy one.
05:27You love this guy.
05:28Me?
05:31Come on.
05:32He's an underappreciated genius.
05:35Still think it's me.
05:38It's not you.
05:39Now think.
05:40There's a car named after him.
05:41Of course there is.
05:43The Mini Cooper, because it's me.
05:45How about this?
05:47He's a poor man's Sheldon Cooper.
05:49Oh, Tesla.
05:52Hi.
05:53Hey, how'd it go?
05:54Not fun.
05:55The doctor shoved a camera up into my sinuses.
05:57Yeah, I watched.
05:58It was like the scary boat tunnel in Willy Wonka.
06:03Did they figure out what's wrong?
06:04Yeah, it's a deviated septum.
06:06The surgery to correct it is simple.
06:07He's gonna do it next week.
06:08Why would you have surgery?
06:10Because I can't breathe.
06:12Because I can't breathe.
06:14I snore, I get sinus infections.
06:16You're back off.
06:17He's all mine.
06:19But you don't have a life-threatening condition.
06:21Why would you take the risk of surgery?
06:23Sheldon, it's a routine procedure.
06:25I've heard you complain about his snoring.
06:27Yeah, that's for the first five or six years,
06:29but I've gotten used to it.
06:31It helps me sleep.
06:33He's like my mucus-powered white noise machine.
06:37Sheldon, I'm gonna get the surgery.
06:38It's no big deal.
06:39End of story.
06:40Very well.
06:41I'm done talking about it.
06:43I believe it was your turn in the game.
06:44Okay.
06:47Let's see.
06:48Oh, this person is most famous
06:51for never having gotten his nose mutilated
06:53with elective surgery
06:55and never living the rest of his life in the shadows
06:58as a hideous, disfigured freak.
07:01I think you could give a better clue.
07:03I don't.
07:04I'm not even sure if that's a person or a typo.
07:07Do you guys ever fight over money?
07:09Sure, sometimes.
07:10I mean, it could be a little awkward
07:12since I make so much more money than Howie.
07:16You didn't have to say so much more.
07:18Well, I didn't have to,
07:19but for the sake of accuracy, I felt that I should.
07:23I brought a lot of significant assets
07:25into the relationship, too.
07:26Like what?
07:27Your incomplete set of Star Trek collector plates?
07:31For your information,
07:32I just bought the last one I needed on eBay.
07:35Without asking me?
07:37There were only three minutes left in the auction,
07:40and it was a mint-conditioned Scotty
07:42from a smoke-free home.
07:46How much, Howie?
07:47Not a lot.
07:48How much?
07:50Let's not talk about this in front of our friends.
07:53Was it more or less than falconry school?
07:58For the tenth time, that was a Groupon.
08:01Did you enjoy my lecture?
08:03No, and neither did our waiter.
08:06If you're going to serve Cornish game hen,
08:08you should either be familiar with the history of Cornwall
08:11or be prepared to learn it.
08:13It's hard to argue with that.
08:15And I know,
08:16because I saw a sad man with a pepper mill
08:18desperately try and fail.
08:25Hey, how was dinner?
08:26Good. I had Cornish game hen.
08:28Oh, that poor waiter.
08:32Sheldon, I'm sorry.
08:34Sheldon, how about tomorrow night we see a movie?
08:37You guys are going out two nights in a row?
08:39Yeah, well, I missed a number of date nights
08:41while I was on my train trip,
08:43and I'm contractually obligated to make them up
08:45under the terms of the relationship agreement.
08:48That's so hot.
08:51It's better than hot. It's binding.
08:56If you're free tomorrow night,
08:57I'd love to have you join us on a double date.
09:00Aww.
09:01You are aware that a double date doesn't count as two dates?
09:06Oh.
09:08Well, then come or don't, I don't care.
09:10They're not dating.
09:11They're just two friends who went out to dinner.
09:14And then went back to the room they share
09:16where they probably fell asleep in the matching pajamas
09:18she got them because they both just love penguins.
09:23I mean, lots of people wear matching pajamas
09:26who aren't dating.
09:27Like who?
09:28Like you and your dog.
09:31Don't rule out the dating.
09:35Fine. It bothers me.
09:37You happy?
09:38You think you've got problems?
09:40The Gibbon is the only member of the ape family
09:43not classified as a great ape.
09:48How is this helpful?
09:49All the non-human apes are classified as great apes
09:52except one.
09:53That means Taxonomous created the entire category
09:56of lesser ape just to single out the poor Gibbon
09:59as the weird kid on the playground.
10:02Now, there's a hairy little fellow with a genuine beef.
10:06But the Gibbon doesn't know what it's categorized as.
10:09It doesn't even know it's called a Gibbon.
10:11True.
10:13Sorry, kids, you got it worse than a Gibbon.
10:15But I made a video.
10:20I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
10:22And I'd like to tell you why I should be chosen to...
10:26go to Mars!
10:30I'm exceedingly smart.
10:32I graduated college at 14.
10:34While my brother was getting an STD,
10:36I was getting a PhD.
10:41Penicillin can't take this away.
10:44Being in close quarters,
10:46cleanliness is important.
10:49My hygiene is impeccable.
10:51In fact, animals don't trust me
10:53because I smell like nothing.
10:56Literally nothing.
11:01During the seven-month space flight,
11:03I can keep up morale with my wacky sense of humor.
11:09Hey, Leonard,
11:10is there any peanut brittle left in that can?
11:13You mean this weirdly suspicious one?
11:16Yes.
11:17Open it and check.
11:25I don't get it.
11:26It was actually peanut brittle.
11:35Please go to Mars.
11:39But on a more serious note,
11:41the most important reason I want to go to Mars
11:43is that I believe, as a scientist,
11:46it's my duty to push the boundaries of human knowledge forward.
11:51Now, I know that life on Mars will be difficult.
11:54But life here on Earth is no picnic.
11:57Also, picnics are no picnic.
12:01Where should we go for lunch?
12:02Oh, I know, the ground.
12:05In conclusion,
12:06thank you for considering me
12:08for this journey of a lifetime.
12:12To Mars!
12:16This is ridiculous.
12:17You know, I'm going to go talk to the meter d.
12:19What are you going to say?
12:20I don't know.
12:21I'm going to flirt with him.
12:23I don't know if I'm comfortable with that.
12:25I'm still sleeping with you tonight.
12:28See if you can get a table by the window.
12:34Hi there.
12:35What's your name?
12:36Glenn.
12:37Oh, boy, it is crazy in here tonight, huh, Glenn?
12:40Well, you know, Valentine's Day.
12:42Yes.
12:43Bet your girlfriend is super bummed you had to work tonight.
12:47Anyway, look, we have been waiting a while,
12:49and I just think...
12:50With all due respect, ma'am,
12:52there's nothing I can do.
12:55You don't have to call me ma'am.
12:57Okay.
12:58I mean, we're basically the same age.
13:00Okay.
13:06How old are you?
13:07I'm 21. How old are you?
13:10Just shut up, Glenn.
13:13Come on, let's get out of here.
13:14What? Why?
13:15Because I'm young. Let's go.
13:17Seems we're at a, uh, stalemate.
13:19Not technically.
13:21In chess, a stalemate refers to a situation
13:23in which there are no remaining moves.
13:25You have plenty of moves available.
13:27You could beat us up and steal the money.
13:30You could kill us.
13:33Really, you're only limited by your imagination.
13:39All these years, I've been using stalemate
13:41when I really mean impasse.
13:43I feel foolish.
13:46I don't think it matters
13:48if this is a stalemate or an impasse
13:50or a Mexican standoff.
13:51What are we gonna do here?
13:52Oh, how can it be a Mexican standoff?
13:54Everybody knows you need three sides for that.
13:56Not necessarily.
13:58Many argue that the essence of a Mexican standoff
14:01is that no one can walk away from the conflict
14:03without incurring harm.
14:05Hmm. I don't follow.
14:08Let me give you an example.
14:10Earlier today, I decoded the headers
14:13on your e-mail, and I know that your name
14:15is Kenneth Fitzgerald.
14:16Now, from that, I figured out where you live
14:18and where you work.
14:19Now, to make this a Mexican standoff,
14:21I would say something like, uh,
14:23you give us the helium,
14:24or I'll turn you into the authorities.
14:26Is that a threat?
14:28Yeah, exactly. See, you're getting it.
14:31What is this?
14:32I don't know.
14:33Maybe it says something on the back.
14:36Continued on milk.
14:39If you're tricking me into making my own breakfast,
14:41it didn't work for my mom, and it won't work for you.
14:45Are. We. Are.
14:49Seaspoons for more.
14:51What could it be?
14:53We are Groot?
14:54We are the champions?
14:56We are family?
14:58I got all my sisters with me?
15:04Are you serious?
15:06Yeah.
15:08Are you sure?
15:10Are you sure?
15:14Pretty positive.
15:16That's a joke because the pregnancy test says I'm pregnant.
15:22This is incredible.
15:24We're going to be parents?
15:26We're going to get to board planes first?
15:32We're finally going to get to see what's in that family bathroom at the mall.
15:37No, it's crazy.
15:38It is crazy.
15:40Oh, I mean, how do you prepare for something like this?
15:45I'm not even sure I've held a baby before.
15:48Oh, it's okay. You'll figure it out.
15:50But how's this all going to work?
15:52Do we get a nanny?
15:53Can we afford a nanny?
15:55If we can, we can't get a pretty one because it'll wreck our marriage.
15:59We can't get an ugly one because it'll scare the kid.
16:05I don't know how he...
16:06Are we in a good school district?
16:07You're Catholic. I'm Jewish.
16:09What religion do we raise it in?
16:11And if it's a boy, do we get him circumcised?
16:13People say it's barbaric, but if we don't, it looks like a pig in a blanket.
16:20Calm down. It's going to be okay.
16:22How's it going to be okay?
16:24Look at me. I'm a mess.
16:26That means this baby's going to be half a mess.
16:29And that's even before we screw it up with our cut-rate, moderately attractive nanny.
16:34Oh, there's a woman.
16:36I'll make her my girlfriend.
16:41Walking up to a strange woman in a bar usually doesn't work.
16:44You're forgetting something.
16:46Ladies love jocks.
16:50How many sips of that beer did you have?
16:51Three.
16:52Oh, boy.
16:56Excuse me.
16:57I'm recovering from a recent breakup,
16:59and I'm told asking out another woman might make me feel better.
17:03And as Ash Ketchum said to Pikachu,
17:05I choose you.
17:08What?
17:09It's a Pokemon reference.
17:11I don't know what that means.
17:13Well, we gave it a shot.
17:17How about you?
17:19I'm married.
17:20And I'm her grandmother.
17:22Ah, what might have been.
17:25And you...
17:26Give my regards to Barnum and Bailey.
17:30He's eating.
17:31That's a good sign.
17:33You're gonna have to wait one hour until you can go swimming again.
17:38He's pretty cute.
17:40He is.
17:42Should we name him?
17:44It is Valentine's Day.
17:46How about Valentino?
17:49Nice.
17:50Classic rabbit name.
17:54Peter Rabbit, Roger Rabbit, Valentino Wolowitz Rabbit.
17:59Oh, look at all that chest hair.
18:01An overbite?
18:02Of course you're a Wolowitz.
18:06Son of a bitch.
18:07He bit me.
18:09Are you okay?
18:10No, I'm not okay.
18:11Wild rabbits can have rabies.
18:14Well, why'd you put your finger near its mouth?
18:16Poor judgment, obviously.
18:20He's so little.
18:21I'm sure it's fine.
18:22How can it be fine?
18:23I just got attacked by a clearly anti-Semitic wild animal.
18:27It says rabies in rabbits is highly unlikely.
18:31Terrific.
18:32It's not terrific.
18:33Lots of highly unlikely things happen.
18:35You saw what's under this robe and you still married me.
18:39If you're really worried, we'll take him to the vet and have him tested.
18:42Good, thank you.
18:43Okay, there is a test.
18:45All they have to do is cut off his head and check his brain.
18:49Oh, cut off his head?
18:51That's where his little nose is.
18:53Oh, jeez.
18:56He's not showing any symptoms.
18:59I guess I'll just go to the emergency room to be safe.
19:03Howie, this is just your hypochondria.
19:05When I sat on the mute button and thought I'd gone deaf, that was my hypochondria.
19:09There was a song I couldn't get out of my head.
19:12Eventually I realized the song was about you.
19:15And like that earworm, I can't get you out of my heart.
19:19So, what I'm trying to say is, you're my heartworm.
19:26The metaphorical kind, not the poodle-killing kind.
19:30What?
19:32If I may...
19:35I believe what he's saying, in a charming and delightful way, is that he loves you and wants you back.
19:40Dave Gibbs, huge fan of your work. Don't mind me.
19:45I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were on a date.
19:48No, it's okay. Keep going.
19:51Amy, if you want to be my girlfriend again, I really want to be your boyfriend.
19:57I really want that too.
19:59Good. Because I love you.
20:04I love you too.
20:08Kiss her, you brilliant fool!
20:15Oh!
20:19Dear crazy future Sheldon.
20:23This is a thermostat.
20:26It controls the temperature of the apartment.
20:29The ideal setting is 72 degrees.
20:32If you find this too cold, then put on a jacket.
20:35A straight jacket, because 72 is the best, and you're crazy.
20:40Now, this is your spot.
20:44You're very protective of it.
20:46When anyone else tries to sit here, you berate them relentlessly.
20:50It sounds mean, but somehow you make it adorable.
20:55People are also delighted by your love of pranks.
20:59For example, Leonard has no idea what I did to his coffee.
21:04It wasn't replaced with Folgers crystals, I'll tell you that much.
21:08Hey, can we please get back to work?
21:11This is Leonard. He's your best friend in the world.
21:14Just stop. This is ridiculous.
21:19Sometimes he gets cranky.
21:21But you can trust him with your life.
21:24And he does more things for you than I can even begin to list.
21:31Oh, no, he's drinking it.
21:35Come on, Leonard's doing Bachelor stuff.
21:37You sure we can't take you to a strip club?
21:39If I want to see a naked, dancing man,
21:41I just flush the toilet while Leonard's in the shower.
21:47Hi. Hey.
21:49I know we're not making a fuss,
21:51but in the spirit of Bachelorette parties,
21:54I made cookies in the shape of male genitals.
21:58You really didn't have to... Whoa!
22:03That is anatomic.
22:05Thank you. The veins are gummy worms.
22:12Oh, look. Jewish enchantile.
22:17I had extra dough.
22:21That's Leonard. He said they're about to cross the border.
22:24I hope the boys don't get too crazy in Mexico.
22:26Oh, yeah, right. Lock up your daughters,
22:28or Sheldon might lecture them
22:30about the North American Free Trade Agreement.
22:34Boy, that was a long night for me.
22:36What do you think?
22:38I think it's very cute.
22:40Cute? It's not cute.
22:42Cute is children dressed as vegetables.
22:46Okay, fine. It's not cute.
22:48Just be honest. You don't like it.
22:50I didn't say that.
22:52I just like music you can dance to.
22:54You can dance to this!
22:56Uh, uh, uh...
22:58Thor and Dr. Jones
23:00Thor and Dr. Jones
23:02One plays with lightning
23:04The other plays with bones
23:08I'm telling you, dude, the song has no groove.
23:11You can't dance to it.
23:13Who cares?
23:15I thought the whole point of Footprints on the Moon
23:17was to write songs that make people think.
23:19You can do both.
23:21Like Michael Jackson's Billie Jean
23:23while you're dancing, you're thinking,
23:25like, darn it, whose baby is it?
23:27How many Spock collectibles?
23:29I have many.
23:31My most treasured is an autographed napkin
23:33given to me by my very thoughtful friend Penny.
23:35That's her over there.
23:40Hi.
23:42Look at that. I'm in a movie.
23:44My shirt stayed on.
23:47Can we see the napkin?
23:49Of course.
23:51This will just take a moment.
24:04When did we get a wall safe?
24:08When there was no more room in the floor safe.
24:11When did we get a floor safe?
24:14When we got the security camera.
24:16There's a security camera?
24:19Aquaman, protecting your home since 2012.
24:24Oh, my God, we've done things on that couch.
24:26Yeah, you don't have to tell me.
24:29Have you thought about advertising
24:31directly to females?
24:33Oh, okay.
24:35Well, all right.
24:37What if I put up a sign in the window
24:39that said,
24:41Women, come in.
24:43Don't be afraid.
24:49Hey, have you read the online reviews
24:51for this place?
24:53The Internet's so negative,
24:55I try to avoid it.
24:57All right, well, Heather H. says,
24:59The owner stared at me the whole time
25:01and didn't blink once.
25:11Kelly M. says,
25:13The creepy guy who runs it
25:15asked me out, then called himself stupid
25:17before I could say no.
25:22Jessica K. says,
25:24I told the weird owner that I liked his shirt.
25:26He took it off and gave it to me.
25:30See? Negative.
25:33You actually think it's 2003?
25:35No. Just because I'm living my life
25:37like it was 12 years ago
25:39doesn't mean I'm delusional.
25:41And since it is 2003, I don't know who you are.
25:43So please exit the premises
25:45before I call the police
25:47on my stylish new flip phone.
25:51Hello, 2003.
25:55Hey, we brought you time...
25:59Where is everything?
26:01In my present, it's in the future.
26:03In your present, it's been crammed
26:05in the bedroom by an enterprising young man
26:07I met in the Home Depot parking lot.
26:11I know what you're doing.
26:13I'm trying to get attention so we'll feel bad for you,
26:15but it's not happening.
26:17No, what I'm doing is trying to figure out how to live my life
26:19now that everyone is leaving me.
26:21Knock it off. We're across the hall.
26:23As the kids are saying today,
26:25talk to the hand.
26:27They're not saying that.
26:31They are in 2003.
26:33No, no, they're really not.
26:37Hey, Stuart!
26:39Hey.
26:41Did I startle you?
26:43Yes, but at this point, pretty much any customer does.
26:45What can I do for you?
26:47I need a little help.
26:49I accidentally destroyed one of Howard's comic books
26:51this morning and I was hoping I could replace it.
26:53Wow, what happened?
26:55Batman got his ass kicked by my curling iron.
26:59Don't let the Riddler know that.
27:03It's a comic book joke.
27:07Or maybe it's not.
27:09Do you have this one?
27:11Uh, well, it's pretty rare.
27:13Can you give me a few days to track it down?
27:15I was kind of hoping to get it before
27:17Howie comes home from work.
27:19What's the hurry?
27:21Well, he's always saying I should be more careful
27:23with my curling iron and it seems like a dangerous precedent
27:25to let him think he can be right.
27:27Well, I'll do what I can,
27:29but I can't make any promises.
27:31You know, I do work
27:33at a pharmaceutical company.
27:35If you can make this happen today,
27:37I can help you out with anxiety medication,
27:39antidepressants.
27:41Really?
27:43Do you have any of these?
27:47I just feel like everything is falling apart.
27:49Come on, it's okay.
27:51No, it's not okay. Look at me, okay?
27:53I took a temp job as a waitress forever ago
27:55and I'm still doing it.
27:57I can't quit because guess what?
27:59I can't do anything else and I finally get my
28:01big break and it goes away.
28:03Such a mess.
28:05No, you're not.
28:07Really? Because this morning at Starbucks,
28:09a pair of old underwear fell out of my pant leg.
28:13And it wasn't the only one in there.
28:17Okay, listen to me.
28:19This is just a minor setback.
28:21No, it's not, okay?
28:23I've been out here for like ten years.
28:25I have nothing to show for it.
28:27Well, you have me.
28:29You're right.
28:31I do have you.
28:33Hmm.
28:35Let's get married.
28:39What?
28:47Leonard Hofstadter,
28:49will you marry me?
28:51Um...
28:57Did you seriously just say, um?
28:59You know,
29:01I love you,
29:03but you're drunk and sad
29:05and feeling lost.
29:07Okay, so you don't want to marry me?
29:09That is not what I said.
29:11No, forget it. I take it back. Offer's off the table.
29:13Who's in the mood to laugh?
29:17I got an email
29:19from Professor Proton.
29:21Oh, goody. What's it say?
29:23He's working on a paper about nanovacuum tubes
29:25and wants to know if I'd take a look at it.
29:27A look at it?
29:29That's strange.
29:31He would come to you for that and not me.
29:35Oh, I got two emails from him.
29:37Do you have Leonard's email address?
29:43And...
29:45Never mind, I found it.
29:49I can't believe he picked you over me.
29:51You don't want to read a paper by some old has-been
29:53who hasn't done any real science
29:55in decades.
29:57Yeah, it's nothing to cry about.
29:59Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
30:01It's true. You'd rust.
30:05When Obi-Wan
30:07came to Luke on this very spot,
30:09he gave him all sorts
30:11of helpful advice.
30:13So, um...
30:15What do you got for me?
30:19Um...
30:21Always
30:23get...
30:25get a prenup.
30:29That's it?
30:31I thought there'd be more
30:33of a reason why you're here.
30:35Oh.
30:37Why do you think I'm here?
30:39I suppose it has something to do
30:41with your recent passing.
30:43Is this the...
30:45the first time you've lost, you know,
30:47someone close to you?
30:49Oh, no.
30:51I had to say goodbye to 11 Dr. Who's.
30:57Yeah, I've outlived a few
30:59of my doctors, too.
31:01Oh, hey, Sheldon.
31:03Hello.
31:11You okay?
31:13I'm on vacation.
31:15What do you think?
31:17Why are you sitting
31:19in the stairwell?
31:21Leonard told me to stay.
31:23Oh.
31:25Well, good boy.
31:29Where are you going?
31:31Oh, a ton of errands to run.
31:33I need to make copies of my headshot,
31:35send them off to agents,
31:37and sign up for a new acting class.
31:39Have fun.
31:41Okay.
31:45You want to come with me?
31:47Come on, boy.
31:49Come on, let's go.
31:51Come on.
31:53So, what did you think
31:55of your first funeral?
31:57I don't want to be a jerk, but it was kind of a bummer.
32:01Yeah, well, when I die,
32:03you can rent a bounce house.
32:05Think about dying?
32:07No, I think more about
32:09if I have any regrets.
32:11What would you regret?
32:13You know, that I didn't travel more,
32:15take more risks,
32:17learn another language.
32:19You know Klingon.
32:21That's true.
32:23No, I meant that as a regret.
32:29I just thought of one more.
32:31What's that?
32:33I regret not saying yes
32:35when you asked me to marry you.
32:37Well, it just wasn't the right time.
32:39Yeah.
32:41And this is also not the right time.
32:43I propose.
32:45What?
32:47I know that face. That's your proposed face.
32:49I was not going to propose.
32:51It's already two to one.
32:53What's two to one?
32:55I propose. Twice you propose, once two to one.
32:57It's not a contest.
32:59I don't know what you're upset about.
33:01I'm the one who's losing.
33:03Fine. Would you feel better if I proposed
33:05so you could turn me down again?
33:07Yeah, I think I would.
33:09Okay, Leonard, will you marry me?
33:11Will you reject me right now and tie things up?
33:15It's just such a big decision.
33:17I don't want to have any regrets.
33:25And hold three,
33:27two, one.
33:29Very good.
33:31Now let's try warrior two.
33:35And hold.
33:41I've read that there are great yogis
33:43who have such mastery over their bodies
33:45they can draw water in through their genitals.
33:57Yeah, well, I don't think we're going to get to do that today.
34:01Too bad.
34:03Seems like a good way to drink a milkshake
34:05without getting brain freeze.
34:07Oh, hey.
34:09Now we go to reverse warrior.
34:15How did she get you to do yoga?
34:17Well, to be honest,
34:19I thought she said Yoda.
34:23Wait, it's not all pants.
34:25There's one shirt.
34:27Hey, that's my shirt.
34:29This one is too.
34:31No, that's not mine.
34:33That has a big spot on it.
34:35Wait, so does this one.
34:37Maybe the spot's the clue.
34:43Sheldon spot.
34:45The koi's in your spot!
34:47Oh, that's clever.
34:49Hurry!
34:51Be there in a minute.
34:53I just have to pre-soak these.
34:59Stop her, Megan!
35:01Stop her!
35:05Stop her!
35:09Where the hell's the coin?
35:11Wasn't the answer Sheldon spot?
35:13Oh, yes, Leonard.
35:15Yes, it was.
35:19Where's the coin?
35:21Yes, exactly.
35:23Where is the coin?
35:25Why don't you look in your pockets?
35:31I slipped them in there earlier today.
35:35I don't get it.
35:37Don't you see?
35:39When we're all having fun together,
35:41we're already winners.
35:43Oh, look, see?
35:45Even I'm a winner.
35:49Are you kidding me?
35:51That is the stupidest thing
35:53I've ever heard.
35:55You suck.
35:57So hot.
35:59Water would be great.
36:01Okay.
36:03Right? I'm a friend of Raj Koothrappali's.
36:05Actually, Amy recognized you.
36:15Wow. How's he doing?
36:17Oh, you know, he's good.
36:19Great.
36:21Yeah, this is none of my business,
36:23but why did you break up with him in an email?
36:25Oh, I don't know.
36:27I guess I thought it would be easier.
36:29Yeah, I get that.
36:31I'll go get you your water.
36:35When you say easier,
36:37you mean easier for you, right?
36:39Because certainly I didn't make it easier for him.
36:41Any chance I can
36:43get a different waitress?
36:45I'm sorry. This is rude of me.
36:47I will get you that water.
36:49See? See? See?
36:51See? Just now,
36:53you expressed your feelings to my face.
36:55How come you could do that with me but not with Raj?
36:57I don't know your email.
36:59You know what the worst part is?
37:01You're sitting here perfectly happy,
37:03and he's at home a blubbering mess.
37:05I thought you said he was okay.
37:07Well, I also said I was getting you water,
37:09but look at me, still standing here.
37:11You know, I may be a bad waitress,
37:13but you are a bad person.
37:15Now, you want to hear the specials?
37:21Arthur passing away was harder on Sheldon
37:23than he's ready to admit.
37:25I'm really hoping this will cheer him up.
37:27Although it might have been thoughtless of us
37:29to bake a Death Star cake.
37:31No, it combines
37:33two of Sheldon's favorite things.
37:35Chocolate chips and the ability to destroy
37:37a planet at the push of a button.
37:39Well, anyway,
37:41it'll be a nice surprise for the boys.
37:43And Howie doesn't think I take his interest seriously,
37:45so hopefully this will keep him fooled for a while.
37:47Okay.
37:49Let's get the fondant and start decorating.
37:51This is pretty cool.
37:53You don't see too many spherical cakes.
37:57I wonder why that is.
38:03Hey, guys.
38:05Happy Star Wars Day.
38:07Wow!
38:09A Death Star cake?
38:11We were hoping it might cheer you up.
38:13And even though it meant we had to miss the movies,
38:15we could still be part of the fun.
38:17No, you didn't miss anything. We just started over.
38:19Son of a bitch.
38:21Hi. Hey, guys.
38:23Look who's here to put the Jew in jewelry night.
38:27Sure.
38:29So it's fine when you say it.
38:31Sorry we're late.
38:33Wanted to swing by the lab and pick up some even cooler
38:35tools for us to use.
38:37I didn't know you were coming again.
38:39Well, last week was a blast.
38:41Plus, I thought you might like having a guy here.
38:45It was not funny.
38:49So what tools did you bring?
38:51Everything we need to make jewelry molds.
38:53Here's some silver, a crucible,
38:55and a torch to melt it down.
38:57Ooh, that looks like fun.
38:59Maybe you should master glue before you move on to fire.
39:03Okay, who's up first?
39:05Rajesh, do you want to make a bracelet for your mom
39:07to go with the necklace?
39:09No thanks.
39:11I was going to make a necklace for my mom,
39:13but unfortunately she doesn't have a neck.
39:15She has just chins and fat and feet.
39:21Leonard, do you think I'm funny?
39:23No.
39:27Do you?
39:29I think I'm hysterical.
39:33I take it back. That was funny.
39:37The philosopher Henri Bergson
39:39says it's funny when a human
39:41being behaves like an object.
39:43I bet that meant killed
39:45in a chuckle hut.
39:47Oh, he didn't perform
39:49stand-up comedy. He was a philosopher.
39:53I think we're zeroing in
39:55on your problem.
39:57Perhaps I'll spend
39:59some time developing a unified
40:01theory of comedy, which will allow
40:03me to elicit laughter from anyone
40:05at any time. Unless they're
40:07German, because that's a tough crowd.
40:11Are you set on people
40:13laughing with you? Because if you're cool
40:15without you...
40:19You guys ever notice that Emily
40:21has a bit of a twisted side?
40:23You mean because she has weird tattoos?
40:25No, because she wants to have sex with me in a graveyard.
40:31One more time?
40:33She and I were supposed to watch
40:35the new Avengers movie tonight, but it was sold out.
40:37So I said, what else do you want to do?
40:39She said, let's go to a cemetery and do it on somebody's grave.
40:43Like a random person?
40:45Or somebody she knew?
40:47What difference does it make?
40:51If it's her father's grave,
40:53and they didn't get along, then you know she holds a grudge.
40:57The only issue is that
40:59everybody has their own thing, and as long as it's two
41:01consenting adults, I guess I don't see the harm in it.
41:03What if it's one consenting adult
41:05and one adult who pretends to consent because
41:07he's afraid of being alone?
41:11That's a beautiful night.
41:13Oh, yes. We've got the moon,
41:15and the trees, and
41:17Elizabeth McNulty, who
41:19apparently died when she was
41:21the same age I am.
41:25Makes you feel alive, doesn't it?
41:27So does enjoying a meal at a well-lit restaurant,
41:29but here we are.
41:33You aren't scared, are you?
41:35Of ghosts? No.
41:37Of you? A little bit.
41:39This is interesting.
41:41Apparently, a key component
41:43in some forms of humor
41:45is the element of surprise.
41:47Well, that makes sense.
41:49The prefrontal cortex is responsible
41:51for planning and anticipation,
41:53and patients with brain lesions...
41:55Brain lesions!
42:01Sheldon, you
42:03scared me. That wasn't funny.
42:05Maybe you have a stick up your
42:07prefrontal cortex.
42:09Okay.
42:11The notion that you can read a few books
42:13and come up with a definitive theory of comedy
42:15is absurd. I mean, humor
42:17is a complex neurological...
42:25Okay, that's pretty good.
42:27Can he really quit
42:29the Cheesecake Factory? Yeah.
42:31What is she doing today? I don't know.
42:33She already thinks I don't support this, so if I call
42:35it might look like I'm checking up on him.
42:37Do you support this? Of course I do.
42:39She's a great actress. I'm proud
42:41she's taking this risk.
42:43Nice. You bought that? Great.
42:49Gotta call her before I forget how I said it.
42:53Hey! Hi, what's up?
42:55How's it going? You taking Hollywood by storm?
42:57Actually, I'm at the Cheesecake Factory.
42:59You got your job back. That is great news.
43:01I didn't want to say anything, but
43:03you are making the right choice.
43:05To plunge yourself into debt right now would be literally insane.
43:07Yeah. I'm just returning my uniform.
43:13And I support you.
43:15You've come to me because
43:17you're my Obi-Wan.
43:21I'm not
43:23familiar with that.
43:25Is that an
43:27internet?
43:31Wow.
43:33You're dead, so I'm gonna let that slide.
43:37Obi-Wan Kenobi
43:39is a character from Star Wars.
43:41After his physical demise,
43:43he comes to Luke Skywalker as his mentor
43:45in spirit form.
43:47Well, that
43:49clears that up.
43:53You must be here to give me advice.
44:01Oh, this is weird.
44:05Most of my robes open
44:07in the back.
44:11Those are your Jedi robes.
44:15Oh, wait.
44:19What is this?
44:21Be careful with that.
44:23Oh.
44:35Neat.
44:41I'm, uh...
44:43I'm gonna need
44:45another Band-Aid.