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00:00And hold three, two, one.
00:11Very good.
00:14Now let's try warrior two.
00:18And hold.
00:23I've read that there are great yogis who have such mastery over their bodies, they can draw water in through their genitals.
00:39Yeah, well I don't think we're gonna get to do that today.
00:43Too bad.
00:45Seems like a good way to drink a milkshake without getting brain freeze.
00:51Oh, hey.
00:53Now we go to reverse warrior.
01:01How did she get you to do yoga?
01:03Well, to be honest, I thought she said Yoda.
01:08...this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?
01:15So it would be today? Huh.
01:19Well, I suppose there's something satisfying about dying on my birthday.
01:24Today's your birthday?
01:26Yes.
01:27What? That's always been a secret, not even Amy knows.
01:31Well, I don't enjoy presents, and the thought of people jumping out and yelling surprise fills me with more dread than the words George Lucas director's cut.
01:44So, why'd you finally tell me?
01:47The point of the experiment is to be completely honest with each other.
01:52Oh, thank you for sharing it with me. I won't tell anyone.
02:00Thank you for walking me home.
02:02Just want to make sure you get there safe.
02:06Well, this is me.
02:10It's been a very interesting evening.
02:13It really has.
02:17Surprise!
02:22And after I let you be Gary!
02:26Penny! Penny! Penny!
02:30What's the matter?
02:32Um, well, I was worried that you might be missing Leonard.
02:39And that might be causing you to have bad dreams.
02:42Like the kind you'd get if you watched Clash of the Titans right before you went to bed.
02:48Sweetie, did you have a bad dream?
02:52To be honest, I did.
02:54Back to the Future 2 was in the Back to the Future 3 case.
02:58Leonard did it.
03:00Goodnight.
03:01No, wait.
03:04Perhaps I should sleep here, so you don't miss Leonard as much.
03:09Because you're being kind of a baby about it.
03:16You know what? That would make me feel better. Thank you.
03:20You're welcome.
03:25Goodnight.
03:29I don't think there's anything in this jewelry store that Amy would appreciate more than the humidifier we were just looking at at Sears.
03:37Oh my God, now I know what I sound like to you when I say stupid stuff.
03:44Oh, a pocket watch.
03:46Okay, I don't think Amy wants a pocket watch.
03:48No, but maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch.
03:53Still saying stupid stuff.
03:57Oh, she like bracelets?
03:59Well, she's very fond of her silver one that says allergic to penicillin.
04:04Maybe they have a dressier version of that.
04:06Well, how are we doing this afternoon? Are we looking for anything special? Perhaps a ring for the lady?
04:11Trust me, we are not a couple.
04:14Excuse me? I don't see why you get to snort derisively and point that out.
04:18You'd be lucky to land a fellow like me.
04:21Fine, go ahead.
04:23Trust me, we are not a couple.
04:26Here's a penny.
04:27A moment.
04:28We just had Thai food.
04:30In that culture, the last morsel is called the Grangie piece, and it is reserved for the most important and valued member of the group.
04:45Thank you all for this high honor.
04:50I've seen pictures of your mother. Keep eating.
04:59Oh, hey Sheldon.
05:01Hello.
05:09You okay?
05:11I'm on vacation. What do you think?
05:15Why are you sitting in the stairwell?
05:18Leonard told me to stay.
05:21Oh. Well, good boy.
05:26Where are you going?
05:27Oh, a ton of errands to run. I need to make copies of my headshot, send them off to agents, and sign up for a new acting class.
05:33Have fun.
05:34Okay.
05:42You want to come with me?
05:43Really?
05:45Come on, boy. Come on. Let's go. Let's go. Get in the car. Come on.
05:50Never played Dungeons and Dragons with girls before.
05:53Oh, don't worry, sweetie. No one has.
05:59So, what do you say?
06:02I'll leave it up to the dungeon master.
06:06A satanic fungus that looks suspiciously like Al Pacino rises from the forest floor and says,
06:15You're playing D&D. You're playing D&D. This whole apartment is playing D&D.
06:30What are you doing in our dungeon?
06:34You shall die.
06:39Okay, literal goosebumps. Look.
06:43What do you do?
06:44I draw my broadsword.
06:45I ready my quarterstaff.
06:47I drink my potion.
06:51I see we attacked the big one.
06:53You know what? Give me the dice. I want to roll.
06:55The dungeon master is supposed to roll.
06:57Yeah, well, I'm supposed to be in Vegas throwing up on a shrimp buffet. No, give it.
07:03All right, what do I need?
07:05Fifteen or higher.
07:07Fifteen's the point. The point is fifteen. Give the little lady some room. Here it is, coming out.
07:12Sixteen!
07:16Oh, please tell me we're playing for money.
07:19Oh, even better than money. You gained experience points.
07:24More potion, please.
07:26Um, I'd like to apologize. Your accomplishment was impressive, and I'm proud of you.
07:37We both know that's your koala face.
07:38I told you.
07:41Okay, look, he bought you this.
07:44Jewelry? Seriously?
07:47Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met.
07:51Do you really think that another transparently manipu-
07:53Oh, it's a tiara!
07:55A tiara! I have a tiara!
07:57Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me!
08:05You look beautiful.
08:07Of course I do! I'm a princess and this is my tiara!
08:09You're right, the tiara was too much.
08:22Hey, what's with all the yelling?
08:24Leonard disproved my element. Now all the attention is going to go away.
08:28Oh, that's great. You must be thrilled.
08:30That's it. I'm down to seven friends.
08:34He's counting hobbits and superheroes, right?
08:38When I thought the element was real, I didn't want it.
08:40But now that Leonard made it not exist, I want it more than anything in the world.
08:44The element never existed. I didn't take it away. Science took it away. Be mad at science.
08:49Don't you dare use science against me.
08:53Science is my best friend.
08:55Oh, good. I'm back up to eight.
08:58Will you tell him he's out of his mind?
09:00Actually, I get what he's saying.
09:01Yes! Nine! Welcome back, buddy.
09:06It's like if you're dating someone you're not that into, and then they break up with you, and then you want them more than ever.
09:10I have no idea what she's talking about, but we're ganging up on you, so I agree.
09:16Okay, Sheldon, what do you want me to do? Hide the information?
09:20If I don't publish it, it's just a matter of time before someone else does.
09:23No, of course you have to publish. That's your responsibility as a scientist.
09:26Doing otherwise would be unethical. You have no choice.
09:30Fine, I'll publish.
09:31Can you believe this guy?
09:33There are some topics that interest me. Quantum mechanics, trains, flags.
09:37No, no. It's about my acting career.
09:39Oh, I'm sorry. That's not on the list.
09:42Oh, wait.
09:43How about we split the difference and discuss why Austria was an arch-duchy and not just a regular duchy?
09:51Okay, look, here's the thing. I like pharmaceutical sales. It's going great.
09:55But I have an audition for a movie, and if I get it, it could screw everything up.
09:58Hmm. I know exactly what you should do.
10:01Unfortunately, I cannot tell you.
10:05Why?
10:06I'm attempting to turn over a new leaf.
10:09Earlier today it was pointed out to me that I tend to force my ideas on people.
10:14You're really not going to tell me?
10:16Nope. That train has left the station.
10:20Now, we can play this one of two ways.
10:22You can say, trains, tell me more.
10:25Or you can just look at me like that and I'll start.
10:29Who do we love?
10:30Who do we love?
10:31Penny.
10:32Who do we love?
10:33Penny.
10:34Who do we love?
10:35Penny.
10:37Hello, Sheldon. Come on in.
10:40What's up?
10:41I came to ask if you would like to go on a date with me.
10:48Sorry, what?
10:50A date. You and me.
10:52Dining, dancing, perhaps you'd like to take in a prize fight?
10:57God, are you trying to make Amy jealous?
11:00No!
11:01Why is everyone so obsessed with Amy and Stuart?
11:04And whether or not they may be having more pumpkin lattes or intercourse tonight.
11:10Okay, listen to me.
11:11Playing games is not going to help get Amy back.
11:14I am not trying to get her back.
11:17But out of curiosity, what is a way?
11:20Alright, honey, let me tell you a story.
11:22There was a guy I liked and I never told him how I felt.
11:25Eventually he started going out with someone else and I always regretted it.
11:29Do you see where I'm going with this?
11:32I believe I do.
11:34I'm the guy.
11:40You're not the guy.
11:42Are you sure?
11:43I would explain so much.
11:45Your constant presence in my apartment,
11:47that baffling dalliance with Leonard just to be near me,
11:50the way you call me sweetie all the time.
11:53I call everyone sweetie.
11:55You tramp.
11:59Look, Sheldon, all I'm saying is strap on a pair and go talk to Amy.
12:03Strap on a pair?
12:04Wait, what? Skates?
12:09Oh, sweetie, you are so not the guy.
12:23I'm the guy.