Handsome Hank | Viva TV
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00:00Annie Woodhead, looks like Jacob's cleaning it out.
00:03Hasn't seen the light of day in a long time.
00:05It still looks beautiful.
00:07There was a bunch of rats living in it for a while.
00:11We got signatures, Bob Stoops, Bo Pelini, J.J. Watt.
00:14Bought this for $650 in 2017, I wanna say.
00:21Drove it through a tornado.
00:22I mean, this van rocks.
00:23But Hank is responsible for revitalizing it.
00:27We're gonna get it working.
00:29I think the engine doesn't work, we don't have a key.
00:32Tires are all flat, the windshield's cracked.
00:36But man, if we can get this thing back on the road,
00:38we'll take it everywhere.
00:39My dream is, my dream is to have this all set up perfectly.
00:45And then we have like Jerry or Spider or someone,
00:51whenever we have a guest come to the office,
00:54they go pick them up and we do like a pre-interview
00:56where we have GoPros everywhere.
00:58Just be like, yeah, we got a chauffeur picking you up
01:00and they pick him up in this and they pre-interview him.
01:03I think it'd be great content.
01:04Hopefully Hank can get it figured out.
01:05I love this van.
01:07I love this van.
01:08I thought it was dead.
01:09Billy told me that Vanny Woodhead was scrapped
01:12like three years ago.
01:13Look at it now, what'd you find?
01:16Some music, Aerosmith U2, B.B. King.
01:21Oh, I'm not throwing these away.
01:23Love it.
01:24I don't smell any rat shit, I don't know.
01:26That's what we're hunting for.
01:28If I find a rat, I'll probably scream.
01:31I don't like rodents very much.
01:33Chipmunks and squirrels aren't that bad,
01:35but I don't like rats.
01:36I bet you Jacob's gonna steal some shit out of there.
01:38How are we looking?
01:39We're looking good.
01:40What's the coolest thing you found?
01:42So far, probably that music and the fidget spinner.
01:45Oh, fuck yeah, fidget spinner, 2016.
01:48Don't take a blacklight in here, you know what I'm saying?
01:51Because of rat shit?
01:52No, because of Kump.
01:53Oh.
01:54Yeah.
01:55Hank's Kump.
01:57This might be the only van autographed
01:58by J.J. Watt and Bob Stoops and Bo Pelini.
02:00It doesn't smell as bad as I thought.
02:02Such an awesome piece of shit.
02:04We're FaceTiming Billy.
02:05I found his parking ticket.
02:07I'm cleaning out Vanny Woodhead right now,
02:10and I found a parking ticket from May 19th, 2017.
02:16I wanted to know if it's paid or not,
02:19because I don't want Vanny Woodhead to get impounded.
02:22I don't think it's paid, but it was impounded,
02:25so this license plate is wiped.
02:29Well, as long as there's no legal ramifications,
02:32I think we're okay.
02:34But Vanny's in great shape.
02:35Any water damage?
02:38There's a lot of different kinds of damages.
02:40That might be water damage.
02:42There is rat poop.
02:43If I took a blacklight in here,
02:45whose Kump would I find the most?
02:48You would not find any of my DNA in that vehicle.
02:51None of yours?
02:52But who would I find?
02:54Who could I clone?
02:56I have no idea.
02:57The previous owners, maybe.
02:58The previous owners, okay.
02:59There's a hole in the bottom there.
03:02We're gonna have to fix that up.
03:04Oh, that was the pee hole.
03:05We used to pour pee out of that hole.
03:08That was the piss hole?
03:10Yeah, we were able to pee and pour it out of there.
03:14Oh, well, that's actually really good to know
03:17when I'm cleaning around that area.
03:18I am wearing gloves.
03:20We have a piss hole, rat shit, Kump stains,
03:23and a lot of trash.
03:24But I think that's the recipe for a historical van.
03:28♪♪
03:31Dot.
03:33Dot, Dot, Dot.
03:35Dotty.
03:36Dot.
03:39It's a Dot Fest.
03:40Russi's ready.
03:41Russi's ready.
03:42I've been saying it all along.
03:43He's coming.
03:44You got your boogie man?
03:45We got our boogie man.
03:46He's back.
03:46Let's see for Russi.
03:48He's gonna light you guys up.
03:49He's gonna die.
03:50Like a Christmas tree.
03:51I was like, I just looked over him,
03:52like, why is there an NFL game from 2019
03:54on the TV right now?
03:56We have a triple box?
03:57Yeah.
03:58This is the Harbaugh 49ers.
04:01You realize that, right?
04:02You realize how long ago this is?
04:04Can't go to the game.
04:05They can't shut it down.
04:07Can't go to the game.
04:09We missed yours.
04:10What game were you going to?
04:11Russi's first start.
04:13Your job is to stream.
04:16I know, but it's your only job.
04:17But it's Russi's first game.
04:18But it's your only job.
04:19I think it'd be good gotten to the game
04:20and win to the game.
04:22You don't even tell Dan.
04:23I mean, I'd probably get fired.
04:24You feeling sussy?
04:26For Russi?
04:27I like Justin Fields, man.
04:29I don't think they win those games without his legs.
04:34Whoever they pick, I'm sure it'll be the right decision.
04:36Unless it's not.
04:37I don't know, but every fucking day I come here,
04:39people keep putting this fat fucking dildo on my desk
04:41and it's fucking pissing me off.
04:43That couldn't even fit in my asshole.
04:44I don't even swing that way,
04:45but if I did, that wouldn't even fit.
04:46My straight ass couldn't even register that hypothetical.
04:49That's what I'm saying.
04:50Well, you just did.
04:52I just want you to stop putting that dildo.
04:54I know it's you.
04:55No one else would fuck with that dildo except you.
04:57What do you mean?
04:57No, no.
04:58You bought it.
04:59It's your dildo.
05:00No, I didn't.
05:01That's from GWAR.
05:02That's White Sox Dave's.
05:03You're telling me White Sox Dave bought that dildo.
05:03No, I think he got it as a gift from the band GWAR.
05:05For you.
05:06No.
05:07Yeah, you know what fish it is.
05:10I know what fish it is?
05:11Yeah, it's a fish.
05:12That's just undeniably a cock, dude.
05:15No, it's a goliath fish or some shit.
05:18A grouper?
05:19Just stop putting it on my desk, please.
05:21But when you barge in and just be like,
05:22every time I see it,
05:23I envision it in my ass not being able to take it,
05:26which is what you said,
05:28weirds me out a little bit.
05:29I didn't say that.
05:30Yes, you did.
05:31Whatever, dude.
05:32Just stop putting it on my desk.
05:33I've thrown it away twice.
05:35No, you put it on my desk twice.
05:37Why would I?
05:38It's not mine.
05:38First of all, it's White Sox Dave's fucking.
05:40Are you putting that fat dildo on my desk?
05:42I didn't put it there.
05:44Yeah, you did.
05:46You swear on your mom's life?
05:47Yes.
05:49Say you swear on your mom's life.
05:51I swear on my mom's life.
05:51It's traveling around and it keeps on ending.
05:53It's not mine.
05:54Not just on my computer,
05:55on my track pad of my computer.
05:57Maybe it's just finding you.
05:58It likes you.
05:59I don't like it.
06:00All fun and games till I go to HR.
06:04For sexual abuse.
06:06It's like that lawn scene from Harry Potter.
06:07Like your hair blew up when you picked it up.
06:09It was just like, the room lit up.
06:13It chose you.
06:14I'm throwing it away.
06:15I don't want it.
06:16Do not put it on my desk.
06:18I'm throwing it away.
06:20All right, let me see you throw it away.
06:21I've tried.
06:22Dave, I'm throwing away your games.
06:25I don't want to look at it
06:26and I don't get blamed for this stuff.
06:28Do you want it?
06:29Here, you take it.
06:31There, nobody will know what it is.
06:33See, that's what it should be used for.
06:35A mitt holder?
06:36Yes.
06:37Or like a scarf.
06:39Or a beanie.
06:41Not my desk or my ass.
06:47What's that?
06:48Can you leave that here?
06:50Yeah, that's mine.
06:51Ella said she wanted to do tricks on it
06:52so I left it behind for my coworkers.
06:55Jesus.
06:58I'm going on to the YAC right now
07:00and I'm going to start leaving hate comments
07:03to Big Cat for stealing my thunder.
07:05Big Cat and Dave are going for the college football show
07:09to my school for my homecoming weekend
07:13and they literally stole my thunder.
07:15The bar texted me.
07:16They're like, we're so excited to have you back.
07:19I was a great customer.
07:20We're going to roll out the red carpet,
07:22limited edition merch, tables, you know.
07:25And then I get a text today.
07:26Hey, do you think you could get the barstool guys
07:28over to Kilroy's with you?
07:30Oh, so what am I, chopped liver?
07:33You stole my thunder.
07:34I hope you enjoy IU this weekend.
07:38He came up and he sat down in his office
07:40and his back was facing the wall.
07:42Normally he never sits that way.
07:44Normally he faces out this way and he can see us.
07:46He knows I'm pissed.
07:48Heard you stole my thunder.
07:50What?
07:50Coming to IU this weekend?
07:52Yeah, why?
07:53I have a red carpet at Kilroy's
07:55and now all my friends are texting me
07:56that you guys are coming.
07:57When's your red carpet?
07:59Saturday.
08:00I don't think you have a red carpet.
08:01It's after the game.
08:02They texted me.
08:03After the game.
08:03Well, guess what?
08:04We do a pregame show.
08:05So that's perfect.
08:06All my friends are texting me saying,
08:08oh my God, barstool.
08:08And the manager that's excited for me to come
08:11because I was such a good customer at Kilroy's,
08:13he's like, we have merch for you.
08:14Yeah, we have Kilroy's.
08:15We've worked with Kilroy's in the past.
08:16Yeah, they're the best.
08:18And they're excited for me to come.
08:19Well, then they hear that you guys are
08:20and they say, do you think you could get
08:21the barstool guys to come?
08:22What time is your event?
08:24It's not even my event.
08:25Now they just want you guys there.
08:26Whose event is it?
08:27It's now it's your guys.
08:28Now they just want you guys there.
08:29For what time is it the event?
08:31After the game.
08:32I'll be so long gone.
08:33Well, now they want you guys there.
08:34I'll be so long gone.
08:36So, no?
08:37Yeah, I'll be so long gone.
08:38I'll be gone before the game even starts.
08:40You guys aren't even staying for the game?
08:42No.
08:43Why?
08:44We're six and oh.
08:45Because I can watch the game on TV.
08:48I have a lot of TVs in my house.
08:48It's gonna be great.
08:49I was gonna say, you could just say I'm going
08:51and have them pay you cash and then just blame it on me.
08:55Actually, don't do that.
08:56That's not a good idea.
08:59All right, you guys.
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09:40How we doing, guys?
09:41It's Archie Broccoli.
09:43It's Archie Broccoli.
09:44Listen.
09:46So,
09:49Wisconsin looks really bad this year to start,
09:51but now that I've seen what we did to Rutgers and Purdue,
09:55and what you,
09:57your games with Rutgers and Purdue,
09:59I unfortunately think we're just gonna have to
10:00beat the fuck out of you again.
10:02And I didn't want that to happen
10:03because I thought maybe this was the year
10:05that Nebraska would finally beat Wisconsin,
10:07but I think I've changed my plans.
10:09So, I'm sorry.
10:10I didn't want it.
10:11You guys are playing really well.
10:12I didn't want it to come to this,
10:14but I've seen more.
10:15And I thought the same thing.
10:16We smushed Rutgers and Purdue,
10:17and you, yeah, and we beat them by a hundred.
10:19And what I saw was happening, I was like, man,
10:21Wisconsin's looking tough.
10:22And I was thinking, like, this is the year.
10:24Like, finally, we'll give Will one.
10:25But I think I'm walking that back.
10:29I'm changing my,
10:31we're gonna have to beat you again.
10:33Good luck, man.
10:34Well, no, I'm not gonna need luck.
10:35I'm not gonna need luck.
10:36I'm not, what I'm saying.
10:37Hey, listen.
10:38I don't need luck.
10:39Hey, good luck.
10:40I don't need luck.
10:41Good luck with that, man.
10:41But there's no luck needed
10:42because I've seen it with my own two eyes.
10:44You guys, it's just gonna be the same storm.
10:48It's not, though.
10:49But it is.
10:50I know, it hurts.
10:51Listen, I didn't want this to happen.
10:53I wanted you guys to beat us, finally.
10:55I'm thinking about our run defense.
10:56I'm thinking about the Blackshirts.
10:57I'm thinking how we can win games.
10:59I'm thinking how Dylan Raiola's better than your guys.
11:01I don't even know your quarterbacks.
11:02Yeah, Braden Locke, he's playing really well.
11:03You should know that.
11:04Our running backs are better than your running backs.
11:05Our offensive line is better than your offensive line.
11:08Good luck.
11:09So then why did you barely beat Rutgers?
11:11Dan, Dan, we broke Rutgers.
11:14They came to Nebraska.
11:15We broke them, and then you guys just cleaned up the scrimmage.
11:18Why did you struggle with Purdue?
11:21When did we struggle with Purdue?
11:22The entire first half.
11:23No, bro.
11:24That was our first road game.
11:25That was Dylan's first road game.
11:26No, we put 52 on it.
11:28That was his first road game.
11:28And it was the easiest 52 I've ever seen.
11:31Yeah, you're welcome for the film.
11:32No, I'm just saying, I didn't want this to happen.
11:34See, this is the reaction I didn't want.
11:37I didn't want this reaction.
11:38I wanted you to beat us.
11:39You're welcome for the film.
11:40I didn't want this reaction.
11:41I didn't want this to happen to us again.
11:43I mean, you guys were like one in 10 against us,
11:45and I was like, finally, they're gonna get one.
11:47And now, unfortunately, I have to retract that.
11:50This is supposed to be a private conversation.
11:52Now we're having this conversation in front of everyone.
11:54Like I said, bro, good luck.
11:55See, this is, I knew this was gonna happen.
11:57I knew he was gonna react like this.
11:59God damn it.
12:00All right, it's good that we had a private conversation there.
12:02Hey, Dan.
12:03Hey.
12:05But I only got one ball.
12:06Fuck you.
12:07No, dude, come on.
12:09How's the more people hitting you up, Washington Post?
12:14I knew the fart was coming, and I still laughed.
12:17No, Washington Post, I don't think.
12:19They write articles?
12:19Nobody else is really hitting me up.
12:20No, they haven't wrote.
12:21If they are writing one, they haven't came out yet.
12:23I would love somebody to just have fun
12:24and have a descriptive fart.
12:25Yeah.
12:26Dude, you should do it.
12:27I see a Daily Mail.
12:28You're the guy to do it.
12:29What, write an article?
12:31Yeah.
12:32About what?
12:33The fart, Washington Post.
12:33Did you not see the Daily Mail?
12:35Yeah, but all they just said,
12:37their headline was disgusting fart.
12:39No, they were like, Will Coffin expelled gas.
12:41Put it to his backside?
12:42Yeah.
12:43Out of his backside.
12:44A big cat blog?
12:47I don't know, man.
12:48I don't know if these figures work anymore.
12:52A big cat blog on writing about a fart?
12:55Have you ever written a blog?
12:56It doesn't have to.
12:57I've written three.
12:58Writing is difficult, yeah.
13:01Oh, there he is.
13:02What's up, boys?
13:03What's up, man?
13:04How are you doing?
13:05Good to see you, dude.
13:06What's up, bro?
13:07You're looking good.
13:09What's up?
13:10I got a solid 50 piece on.
13:10Yeah.
13:11Welcome to the spot.
13:12You're looking thin, bro.
13:13He basically did what Taylor did,
13:15but started at like 250.
13:16Yeah.
13:18Welcome to the spot.
13:19Yeah.
13:19This is awesome.
13:20All right, let's do the show.
13:21Oh, damn, you got the, really?
13:23No, it's my birthday present.
13:25Okay.
13:26From the wife, now that I'm official,
13:28out of the sports world.
13:30Oh, you had that your rookie year.
13:31Jeez.
13:33Welcome to the Pro Football Football Show.
13:34We have a very special guest, Kyle Rudolph.
13:36First time.
13:38I didn't think you'd be here with the boys.
13:40I know they're excited to talk football with you.
13:42Thanks for having me.
13:42Excited to be here.
13:43When did you say the hand job thing?
13:45On the live stream.
13:46I texted Max right away.
13:48I was just like, what are you doing, dude?
13:50What are we doing?
13:51You're safe.
13:52Six touchdowns, no chance.
13:53Yeah.
13:54But if there is a chance, that is going to be.
13:56If anybody's going to do it, it's going to be Russ.
13:58We both got our teeth done.
14:00Yeah.
14:00Yeah, I can finally match up a little bit more with Kyle.
14:03But when you really, he was like 260.
14:04We, you know, you had the thicker necks,
14:06the thicker faces.
14:07I would get tagged like Kyle was my doppelganger.
14:09Yeah.
14:10Would you get the same stuff?
14:12Or would you just see the, yeah, I guess it makes sense.
14:15You're the guy.
14:16How long did you play?
14:1712.
14:18That's awesome.
14:1910 there, one in New York, one in Tampa.
14:21I don't want to do this anymore.
14:22Put it like this.
14:23When I'm watching the games and I check in on the scores
14:25and I see Wisconsin just body bagging Rutgers,
14:27I'm excited for Big Cap because Wisconsin's
14:29starting to play well.
14:30I feel the same way for you.
14:31The whole start of this conversation.
14:32Clearly not.
14:33No, the whole start of this conversation
14:34is I want to let you down easily.
14:36Like, I didn't want you to go into the game in a month
14:39being like, we're going to fucking work them
14:41when it's, you're going to get fucked up.
14:43You know I'm not senior thinking
14:44we're going to work you guys.
14:45I think you thought, like you saw the first couple games,
14:48you saw the Alabama game.
14:50You're like, oh shit.
14:51What did I tell you?
14:52I was like, no, I'm kind of surprised
14:53with Fickle being in second year.
14:53He's not making a jump with the team
14:54like a lot of the other second year coaches are.
14:56I don't want this to be a situation
14:58where like when we end up fucking you up,
15:00it like ruins your month.
15:02But I'm giving you advance warning of the fuck up.
15:04That's nice.
15:06I could have just stayed in the weeds
15:08and not said anything.
15:09Yeah.
15:10Like I know Indiana is going to be tough.
15:12I think you guys are going to win.
15:13I think so too.
15:15Oh, you don't?
15:15I think you guys are going to win.
15:27It's my Spider-Man impression
15:28because Jacob's wearing a Spider-Man shirt.
15:32Look how strong I am.