Saleem Albela Kay Ganay Mein Agha Majid Aur Marhoom Ki Be-Basi Bayan
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00:00Assalam-o-Alaikum.
00:01Walaikum-as-salam, sir.
00:02You look very happy.
00:04Sir, believe me, I've had 12 of them in my life.
00:06How?
00:07I'm so happy that I won't be wearing shoes today.
00:10No, yes.
00:11No, no.
00:12I'll wear shoes, but I'll wear them tomorrow.
00:16Okay, okay, okay.
00:17So, do you fight a lot?
00:19No, sir, we don't fight.
00:21Well, there's always a little fight in conversations.
00:24Sir, obviously, where there's love, there's always a fight.
00:27Yes, okay.
00:28And when there's a fight, because women are physically weak,
00:33so sometimes they get tired of arguing,
00:35and they might have held your collar once or twice.
00:37Obviously, I'm married, sir.
00:39He might have held your collar a thousand times.
00:41Yes, that's right.
00:42He might have hit you a thousand times with his shoes.
00:44He might have abused you a thousand times.
00:46Yes, but he should have given you food on time.
00:49Sir, why should he give me food on time?
00:50She's not my servant, she's my wife.
00:52Oh.
00:53Then what are you most concerned about?
00:55Anything.
00:56Really?
00:58Well, the thing is, when she's happy, she hits me.
01:00And when she's hitting me, she's even happier and hits me more.
01:04Sir, why did you marry her?
01:05To keep your wife happy?
01:06She doesn't speak a word.
01:09She's so happy.
01:10That's why you should call home.
01:12Your wife isn't happy, I'll stay outside.
01:15Okay, tell me, sister,
01:16slaps, kicks, kicks,
01:18which is your most lethal weapon?
01:20My tongue.
01:27Look, I can't tell you the truth today.
01:29Can you tell me the time?
01:30Time?
01:32If you say,
01:33I'll come home at 12.30,
01:35and at 12.30,
01:36I'll beat you up.
01:39Okay, you want to beat him up?
01:42Whom do you want to beat up?
01:43Whom?
01:44Whom do you want to abuse?
01:45Whom?
01:46Whom do you want to break his bones?
01:47Whom?
01:48He's your husband, not me.
01:51What do you think is the worst thing about your husband?
01:54What do you think?
01:55That I'm alive.
01:58How long after marriage did you beat him up for the first time?
02:01Oh, no, no,
02:02I started beating him up right away.
02:04After 3, 4, 5, 10 minutes.
02:08Still, it's a blessing of God
02:10that he's been naked for so long.
02:12No, no, he was wearing a bra, I know.
02:15Love marriage?
02:16Yes.
02:17Sir, is there so much blessing in a marriage?
02:21Anyway,
02:22this is a sign of a strong relationship.
02:25You know,
02:26after a fight,
02:28after marriage,
02:30the relationship between husband and wife
02:32is just like
02:34the bones in a human body.
02:36You must have seen that
02:38when people learn karate or other martial arts,
02:43they hit very hard on the stone.
02:46This causes hairline fractures in the bone.
02:49But when the bone is repaired,
02:52it becomes stronger than before.
02:54If you read books on relationships,
02:57you'll realize that
02:59it doesn't depend on how many fights you had,
03:03how many times you fought.
03:06The real wonder is
03:08how strong your reconciliation became.
03:11Wow.
03:12When you reconcile,
03:14do it with your heart.
03:16Reconcile with your heart.
03:18Otherwise, in a house where there are no fights,
03:20Agha sir, there are no fights in the house.
03:22Why not?
03:23Because it's a flower.
03:24Oh, really?
03:25If you tie a banana to a tea pot,
03:27it looks like a parrot.
03:29My bad luck.
03:31My bad luck.
03:33I'll go and get some water.
03:40What gift did you give her
03:42on your first wedding anniversary?
03:43You're married too.
03:44Don't you know about this?
03:46Why should Malaika know about such a family story?
03:49She knows all the stories of every family.
03:52She knows everything.
03:54She found out that Jeera is divorced.
03:56She said, Jeera and I are married.
03:58She said, yes, yes, yes.
03:59It's true. She's married to Sheera.
04:01By the way,
04:02jokes will continue on one side.
04:04Yes.
04:05She doesn't speak.
04:07Give me a drink, brother.
04:09Vee. Vee.
04:10Vee?
04:11Vee?
04:14You tell me,
04:15what problems do you think he has?
04:17Mr. Haroon,
04:18no one can sit with him
04:19and watch TV properly for two minutes.
04:22He breathes like this.
04:24Why do you breathe?
04:25He has a small leg.
04:26He has a inhaler.
04:29Did you just hear his breathing?
04:31No, I didn't.
04:32His breathing...
04:33I mean,
04:34I'm tired of his breathing.
04:36Okay, then this must also happen.
04:38He must say this sometimes.
04:39Yes.
04:40You must be tired of him too.
04:41Yes, that's what he does.
04:43But she hits me on one thing
04:44and that's very justified.
04:45What?
04:46When I sleep,
04:47she'll slap me and wake me up.
04:48Why?
04:49She'll say,
04:50why is there blood running in your veins?
04:51Hey.
04:53He has the same old behavior.
04:55He'll say,
04:56I'll wake you up.
04:58What's the sound of his veins?
05:00Shh, shh, shh.
05:01His veins are like cat's blood.
05:06By the way,
05:07what's this?
05:08I feel bad for his blood running in his veins.
05:10Yes.
05:11I feel bad for him breathing.
05:12Okay, Mr. Haroon,
05:13how does he drink tea?
05:14Like a thief.
05:15He doesn't even let a single sound come out.
05:17I think
05:18he's addicted to tea.
05:21Mr. Haroon,
05:22the objections she's making...
05:23Yes, yes.
05:24She'll shoot him
05:25if he takes a pot in front of her.
05:28Sir, I've seen Goga Jidda's face.
05:30Yes.
05:31She's your sister.
05:32Yes, yes.
05:33He goes home,
05:34holds a vapor
05:35and makes her hold it.
05:36Sir, one day,
05:37Goga's head exploded.
05:38I said, what happened to Goga?
05:39He said,
05:40your sister is learning karate.
05:42Okay,
05:43what was your first fight about?
05:45Mr. Haroon,
05:46it was the day of the wedding.
05:47And he had brought food.
05:48On the stage.
05:49Yes.
05:50He hid the first bite.
05:51Okay.
05:52He hid it in such a way
05:53that
05:54he wasn't able to shut his mouth.
05:55That means
05:56you must be fed up of his karate.
05:57No,
05:58I'm not fed up of his karate.
05:59Then?
06:00So much silence,
06:01so much silence
06:02that I start getting terrified.
06:04Okay,
06:05but he hit me with a vapor.
06:06Okay.
06:07Sir,
06:08my head was spinning.
06:09He said,
06:10what are you doing?
06:12Okay,
06:13when he drinks water,
06:14does it make a sound?
06:16Oh, God!
06:17I told him
06:18that I can't live
06:19with you.
06:20Okay,
06:21there's only one solution
06:22to your Muslim style.
06:23What?
06:24You shouldn't breathe.
06:25Your heart shouldn't beat.
06:26And there shouldn't be blood in your veins.
06:27And your eyes shouldn't twitch.
06:28Yes,
06:29your eyes shouldn't twitch.
06:30Your eyes should close.
06:31Your blood should stop.
06:32Your breath should stop.
06:33Yes.
06:34He's absolutely right.
06:35And because of this,
06:36I died once.
06:37Really?
06:38He said,
06:39what's wrong with you?
06:40He hit me with a vapor
06:41and I woke up.
06:42Sir,
06:43I was sleeping one day
06:44and I felt something heavy
06:45on my face.
06:46Then?
06:47Sir,
06:48he hit me with a heel shoe.
06:49Why?
06:50He said,
06:51what are you doing
06:52with your heart?
06:53This is not a fight
06:54that you should fight.
06:55Then?
06:56This is not a hobby.
06:57Really?
06:58Yes,
06:59sir,
07:00really.
07:01I can't speak.
07:02I can't speak.
07:03Haroon sir,
07:04I can't take it anymore.
07:05What happened?
07:06I can hear water.
07:07I can't hear water.
07:08No.
07:09Where is it coming from?
07:10From his knees.
07:12Why doesn't he call me?
07:14Abhay,
07:15Abhay,
07:16Abhay,
07:17Abhay,
07:18Abhay,
07:19Abhay,
07:20Abhay,
07:21Abhay,
07:22Abhay,
07:23Abhay,
07:24Abhay,
07:25Abhay,
07:26Abhay,
07:27Abhay,
07:28Abhay,
07:29Abhay,
07:30Abhay,
07:31Abhay,