It's A Living S3 E1 Harassed
It's A Living S3 E1 Harassed
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FunTranscript
00:00Life's not the French Riviera, believe me
00:07Life's not a charity ball
00:10It isn't all that great
00:13Big bed of roses
00:16It's not like showbiz
00:18But the main thing I'm proud to be
00:21We're not the people I'm proud to be
00:24Believe me, we know
00:26We're just a boy and a lady
00:29We may be less than wealthy
00:33But for us, yet we're young and healthy
00:37And anyone who's young and healthy
00:42Knows that that's the way
00:47That traffic flows
00:50It's on their way
01:20Gave birth to the blues
01:24From a whippoorwill
01:26High on a hill
01:28They took a new note
01:31Shoved it through a hole
01:33Until it was worn
01:35Into a blue note
01:38And that can be painful
01:40The nurse did
01:42Nurse did
01:44And gave forth with the news
01:47That the sun man
01:49Hey, that's me
01:50Gave birth to the blues
01:54One more time
01:55Don't you dare
01:59I can't believe you're nervous about going out
02:01He's been my doctor for five years
02:03But this is our first date
02:04So?
02:05So, he's never seen me with my clothes on
02:06What if he doesn't like what he sees?
02:08Oh, I'll bet he will
02:13Amy, I meant to ask you about your locker
02:14Did you find it yet?
02:15No, and I have no idea where I lost it
02:17When I woke up this morning, I noticed it was gone
02:19It'll turn up
02:20Yo, Amy, maybe you lost it in the sheets
02:22After work, we could go look for it together
02:24Um, it's just a crummy old family heirloom
02:26That my grandmama gave me on her deathbed
02:28I don't want it back that bad
02:31Miss?
02:32Yes, sir, what can I do for you?
02:33You can bring me a different dinner
02:35But you ordered the halibut
02:37Sure you did, says right there, halibut
02:38Of course
02:39It's an abbreviation, actually
02:40What it says is hal
02:41Oh, well, the hal is tear
02:44I beg your pardon?
02:45That's my abbreviation for terrible
02:47Just jot down T-E-R and bring me some chick or lob
02:50Anything but hal
02:52You want me to take this back, don't you?
02:54That's the general idea, yes
02:57Jan, Howard likes you
02:59Howard doesn't like anybody
03:01He dislikes you less
03:02Would you take this back to the kitchen for me?
03:04No, you know what Howard's like when a customer sends back food
03:07I suggest you slip it under the door with a note
03:12Amy, there's a guy on the phone for you in the kitchen
03:13Oh, thanks, Cassie
03:14Cassie, you know I don't approve of personal calls during business hours
03:17That's because you don't get any
03:19Unlike you, I don't throw myself at every Tom, Dick and Harry
03:23Did all three of them call?
03:27Cassie, would you do me a favor and take this back to Howard for me?
03:31No, but I'll do you a favor and I'll notify your next kin
03:37Here we go, sir
03:38Nice try
03:45Shh
03:50Howard, there's no other way to do this than just tell the truth
03:54All right
03:58The man at table ten
03:59Yeah?
04:02Is from a small country in Africa
04:06He doesn't speak English
04:08See, when he asked for halibut, he had no idea what he was asking for
04:11See, it turns out in his country that the words halibut means what's on tap
04:17You can imagine his surprise when I showed up with this plate of fish
04:24It's bad fish, he sent it back, right?
04:26Right
04:27Okay, that's it
04:28No more fish tonight, tell the others
04:34That's right, I did it there
04:36Listen, if we know each other, why don't you just tell me your name?
04:40What?
04:42Well, what kind of surprise?
04:45Hello? Hello?
04:50Cassie, the same guy called me last night, he says he knows me
04:54But I can't place him, he said he's sending me some sort of surprise
04:57This is a problem?
04:58Well, I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to do
05:01Ah, well, that's gonna depend an awful lot on the surprise
05:04See, when a guy gives you a gift, he's usually asking you a question
05:08For instance, flowers mean, can I call you?
05:12Candy means, can I date you?
05:16And jewelry means, can I...
05:18I don't accept jewelry
05:23Howard, why is Dot telling everyone there's no more fish tonight?
05:26Low quality, I won't prepare it
05:28There's nothing wrong with that fish
05:30Where did that fish come from?
05:32From a mommy and daddy fish
05:35I can explain it to you later at my place
05:38It's not from Colucci Brothers, is it?
05:40Look, A&G distributors gave me a 15% discount
05:43Colucci's charges more because they sell fish
05:45A&G sells bait, I don't cook bait, end of discussion
05:49Howard, you're asking for it
05:51If he is, he'd be the first one
06:00Why don't you wear that red dress with the doctor, you look great in that
06:03I wish I could wear one of those paper dressing gowns, I know he likes me in those
06:06Nobody looks good in those
06:07Well, if you don't tie the back
06:13I can't believe the number of people who ordered fish tonight
06:16It's human nature, I guess, people always want what they can't have
06:19Don't knock it, it keeps the phone ringing
06:23Are you still looking for your locket?
06:25Well, that and my comb
06:26You lost your comb? I love that comb
06:30Here's mine
06:31I don't want yours, I want hers
06:34I finally found a comb that understands my hair and you lose it
06:40Hello? Yeah, this is Amy
06:43Listen, I'm glad you called
06:48What?
06:51I don't understand
06:53Amy, who was that?
06:54The guy, the one that called before
06:57Your secret admirer
07:00He said he's been watching me
07:03Oh, no
07:04Then he hung up
07:05Oh, this is terrible, do you know what this means?
07:07Yes, we do, Dot
07:08It means this guy is some kind of a nut
07:10Thank you, Dot
07:11Some nut has been watching me
07:13And following you
07:15Dot, it doesn't mean anything
07:17Just because some guy has been watching her and calling her and stalking her
07:21Doesn't necessarily mean that he's a twisted, demented psycho who's gonna attack her
07:25I never thought of that
07:28I think what Jan means is don't panic
07:31Isn't that right, Jan?
07:32Isn't that what I just said?
07:35Look, when I first came to L.A., the same thing happened to me
07:39No sooner did I move into my apartment when all of a sudden I got all these strange phone calls
07:43What'd you do?
07:44I bought drapes
07:47The point is I know what you're going through, so take it easy, okay?
07:52Okay
07:53Knock, knock
07:54What do you want, Sonny?
07:55This just came for Amy
07:57You're a lucky girl when someone cares enough to send you a hero sandwich
08:00It's from that creep who's been watching Amy and making weird phone calls
08:03Oh, you poor kid
08:05I'm so tired of guys preying on helpless single girls
08:08I'm worried about your safety, Amy
08:10You're spending tonight at my place
08:12And I won't take no for an answer
08:14Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please
08:18Cassie, I don't want to open it
08:21Now, didn't I tell you not to panic?
08:24A single rose for a sleazebag is very sensitive and cheap
08:29Here, read the card
08:34Dear Amy, this is what I'd like to do to you
08:48Amy, what is it?
08:49It's obscene
08:51What does it say?
08:52It has a lot to do with dessert topping
08:55Can't these guys come up with anything original?
08:58Who is this guy?
08:59I don't know
09:01I hate this guy
09:03Why is he picking on me?
09:05I'll call the police
09:07The man has a vivid imagination and a sweet tooth
09:10Boy, this is making me really hungry
09:12I haven't thought about Bosco in years
09:15This guy's filthy, disgusting
09:17And look, he's ignorant
09:19He spelled chandelier wrong
09:22What do you mean you can't help me?
09:24Cassie, would you talk to him?
09:26Here, give me that
09:28Listen, this guy has called her three times and sent an obscene letter
09:32Huh?
09:34Now, if I read it to you over the phone, you'll just want to go out with me
09:38All right
09:40Okay, I see
09:42They need more information
09:44Oh, I've got an idea
09:46We will set a trap and we'll use Amy as bait
09:49Dot, we hate that idea
09:53You know, my daddy was right
09:54He said this city was sick
09:56Are you trying to tell me that nobody ever gets any strange calls in Snyder, Texas?
10:00Oh, sure, everybody gets them
10:01But we have a way of knowing who it is
10:03How?
10:04Well, he begins every call with
10:05Hi, this is Earl
10:16Call me later
10:17Okay
10:18Sonny, what are you doing here?
10:20Well, I figured with this weirdo around, I'd walk down to the parking lot with you
10:23That's very nice, Sonny, but we're not alone
10:25But I am
10:28Above the top
10:32Amy, the guy who sent you the sandwich, wants to know how you like the surprise
10:35No, don't hang up, try to find out who he is
10:38No problem
10:40Hi there, I'm back
10:41Amy will be with you in a second, okay?
10:42Okay
10:43Oh, by the way, I'm Sonny Mann, singer, composer, musical arrangements for all occasions
10:47And your name is?
10:50It's a very unusual name, Mr. Smith
10:53So how about those Dodgers?
10:55You ever been arrested?
10:59No, no reason really
11:00What's your sign?
11:02No kidding
11:03I'm a Libra myself
11:04We tend to be real outgoing
11:05Well, you gotta be in my business
11:07Your business too, I suppose
11:11Hey, listen, buddy, we've already talked to the police
11:13And if you bother...
11:14Hello?
11:17I can't take this
11:18Look, kiddo, you wanna come spend the night with one of us?
11:21I do
11:23I just wanna go home to Texas
11:25Did the guy say anything that might help the police?
11:27He's a Virgo Dodger fan, does that narrow it down for you?
11:30As soon as I mentioned the police, he hung up
11:32Well, maybe that scared him off
11:33I'm sure it did
11:34Now that he knows the police are involved, he'd be crazy to call back
11:40I'll handle it
11:42Is this you again, lowlife?
11:44Oh, now you wanna play doctor, huh?
11:46Listen, sewer brain, if you bother us again, you won't have anything to play doctor with
11:50Oh, yeah? Well, the same to you, fella
11:54He can't even keep his story straight
11:55First he's Smith, now he's Lieberman
11:58Lieberman? That's my doctor
12:00You should've heard what he just called me
12:03Well, he's always been good at diagnosis
12:06Yeah
12:13Anyhow, I spent most of the night on the phone keeping Amy company, then I couldn't sleep
12:17So, I consumed two scoops of ice cream and half a cheesecake
12:22Went on a sugar high for 11 minutes, then lay prone until morning
12:25Just to give the fat a better chance at distributing itself more evenly throughout my body
12:31I got home in time to catch the end of Miami Vice
12:33We make what cops make, how come we can't dress like that?
12:37You're a fat, disgusting pig and you don't deserve to live
12:46Amy, what is it?
12:49It's our comb! You found our comb! Where did you find it?
12:53On the windshield of my car
12:55First place I would've looked
12:59This note
13:00Dear Amy, I'll put your locket around your neck tonight
13:04P.S. Great comb
13:06You used our comb?
13:09He's gonna do something to me, he hasn't given up yet
13:12Amy, now just try and calm down for a second, maybe it's not as bad as you think
13:15What are you kidding? It's worse
13:17Do the words shut up mean anything to you?
13:21Hello officer, this is Amy Tompkins, I called you last night
13:25Listen, somebody is after me
13:27He had my comb and he's still got my locket
13:29He's either been in my purse or he's been in my car
13:32And I just don't know what to do
13:34Here, let me
13:36Hi, this is Jan Hoffmeyer, I work with Amy
13:38Look, we need some protection here, this psycho has been sending her threatening letters
13:42Yeah, the note
13:46I got it
13:48Yeah, I'm sure there are some fingerprints on it
13:53Okay, look, we'll come by after work, thank you
13:57Will you go with me?
13:59Well, I'll go
14:00Ladies, tonight I want you to downplay the special and push the fish, that's an order
14:04What about Howard?
14:05I'll handle Howard, if only he'd let you
14:13Are you okay?
14:14No
14:15Amy, we're all here with you, we're not gonna let anything happen to you
14:19Yeah, well what happens when I go back to my apartment tonight?
14:22Look, I know what you're going through
14:25I came from a small town too, even smaller than yours
14:28And Amy, you can't be a victim
14:30You can't let the creeps win
14:32Don't let them run you out of town, you gotta stay and fight
14:36There's more of us than there are of them
14:38And we can beat them if we stick together
14:41Okay?
14:43Okay
14:44You're gonna be fine
14:46A little work will help take your mind off all this
14:49You're right
14:51Thank you
14:53Sure, I mean what could be safer than a room full of people?
14:57All of them strangers and we gave each one of them a knife
15:11No
15:12Alright, so the flavor of the fish isn't exactly what it should be
15:15We'll whip up a sauce, disguise it
15:18You want me to disguise the fish?
15:20Yes
15:21What if I put you in tights and a cape, would that make you Wonder Woman?
15:24You're Batsailor
15:27We're talking business, not pleasure
15:29No fish
15:30Howard, we have got to reach a compromise
15:32Fine, get the fish at Colucci Brothers or I quit, how's that for a compromise?
15:36Sounds reasonable to me
15:40So do the tights and the cape
15:43You know, from time to time the sun man likes to pay tribute to some of the legends of our industry
15:49So let's travel back in time to 1951
15:56Mr. Johnny Ray
15:581951
16:01Mr. Johnny Ray
16:03When your sweetheart sends a letter of goodbye
16:14It's no secret you'll feel better if you cry
16:24That's so beautiful
16:26Thank you
16:28Wait
16:30It feels like his eyes are watching me wherever I go
16:33He's watching me right now, somebody in this room is watching me
16:36That could be me, I'd like to order
16:38Go on honey, take his order
16:39Sorry, what would you like?
16:41The rack of lamb please, medium and a salad
16:44And a salad, fine
16:45Oh and Amy, I'd like some water with that
16:47Amy, you called me Amy, how did you know my name?
16:49The lady at the desk told me
16:51Why would she do that?
16:52I don't know, I'll forget it immediately Miss
16:55Is there a problem here?
16:56This man knows my name
16:57You scum
16:59When she seated me, the lady said your waitress will be Amy
17:04It must have slipped out, I'll never do it again
17:07Oh well, in that case you're not scum, enjoy your dinner
17:13So sorry
17:17Kathy, I think he's here but don't turn around
17:19Where is he?
17:20At the bar
17:21Don't look at casual
17:28The one on the end?
17:30Right
17:31Why do you think it's him?
17:32He's alone, he's got shifty eyes and he keeps checking himself out in the mirror
17:37Dot, you just described half the men in Los Angeles
17:43Hey, am I back or what?
17:46Oh, now this is so nice
17:49We have a dedication
17:51To Amy, the nearness of you
17:56He is here
17:57He's not only here, he's announcing himself
17:59What do we do?
18:00We put a stop to this
18:03It's not the pale moon
18:11May I have your attention please?
18:13That excites me
18:20This kind of thing isn't usually done
18:22Jan, this kind of thing is never done, never
18:24But we have a problem and we could really use your help
18:28There's a man in this restaurant who has been harassing one of our waitresses, Amy
18:37Now, what this has done is ruined this girl's whole life
18:41She can't go anywhere by herself anymore, she jumps at sounds
18:45She can't even do her job because she's afraid all the time
18:49Now, I want this man to know
18:51That there are people in this restaurant who can recognize him if anything happens to this girl
18:57So what I want you to do please
18:59Is to take a long hard look at all the faces around you
19:20Okay, creep
19:21I wasn't supposed to tell you this
19:23But the police made a voice print when you called Amy the other night
19:26We matched it with a voice print when you called in to make a reservation tonight
19:31We know who you are
19:33The police are on their way and no one is leaving this restaurant until they get here
19:40Oh!
19:47Dot, go call security
19:49Right
19:50Do you recognize him?
19:51No, I've never seen him before in my life
19:53Well, the next time you see him it's going to be in court
19:55You up to it?
19:56You bet I am
19:57That was a great speech
19:59What in the world is a voice print?
20:01I have no idea, I saw it last night on Miami Vice
20:06I don't know how to thank you all for helping me get through this
20:08You know, you were right
20:09If we stick together, we can beat them
20:11What do you say the four of us go out after work?
20:14My treat
20:15Oh, Amy, that's alright
20:16Oh, better yet
20:17We could all go to my place and I'll make us a big bowl of jello with canned peaches
20:22As hard as that is to pass up, I'm going to
20:27After all you've been through, you don't want to have to cook jello
20:30Yes, I do
20:31No, you don't
20:33I'm going to take you out to dinner
20:35Nice shot, Nancy
20:38Well, I guess there is some wonder in this woman after all
20:43Ladies and gentlemen, please forgive the disruption
20:46Now, to make up for the disturbance
20:48It will be our pleasure to serve each one of you a complimentary seafood dinner
20:57Move it, girls, we're dumping the fish
21:38You