• 4 months ago
IT'S A LIVING Season 1 Episode 10 Our Man Barry
Transcript
00:00Life's not the French Riviera, believe me, Life's not a charity ball,
00:10It isn't all a great big bed of roses, It's not like showbiz,
00:18But the main thing I'm proud to be, I'm proud to say,
00:24Believe me, we know we're doing okay,
00:29We may be less than we'll be, But we're not dead, we're young and healthy,
00:37And anyone who's young and healthy knows that that's a way,
00:45That traffic flows, It's on their face.
01:00Isn't that beautiful? Oh, you could wear that, Jan.
01:14No, I'm too short. It would look great on Lois.
01:17No, I'm too tall.
01:19It's the wrong color for me.
01:21Good. None of us can afford it anyway.
01:24Hi, everybody. Guess what?
01:26I went to my first Hollywood party last night.
01:28I'll bet everyone in show business was there.
01:30Oh, yeah? Like who?
01:32Well, I'm not very good with names.
01:34Was there anything that sounded like Pacino?
01:36I don't think so.
01:38Was there anything that looked like Pacino?
01:40Well, I guess not everyone in show business was there.
01:43Who'd you go with?
01:45Dot. She got invited and she didn't have anyone to go with,
01:48so she asked me.
01:50I don't blame her.
01:52I don't blame her. I hate walking into a party alone.
01:55It makes you look available.
01:57You are available.
01:59I know, but I don't want to look that way,
02:02otherwise nobody will talk to me.
02:04Sometimes I feel I've been married a very long time.
02:07So, Vicki, did you have a good time?
02:09Not till the last ten minutes.
02:11And then I met someone.
02:14Good for you.
02:16Oh, it was so romantic.
02:18I had just spilled clam dip all over the front of my dress,
02:20and suddenly he was standing there,
02:22wiping it off with a wet paper towel.
02:25Stop. You're making me excited.
02:28So what is he like?
02:30Well, his name is Barry, and he's a writer,
02:32and he's real nice and real easy to talk to.
02:35Did he ask you out?
02:37Yes, and boy, was I shocked.
02:39He picked me out of all those beautiful girls in the room.
02:42Maybe he struck out with everybody else.
02:45Good afternoon, ladies.
02:47Nancy, we're all here on time, except, of course, for Dot.
02:50Oh, she'll be here. She's just, uh...
02:52Late. I'll deal with her later.
02:54Meanwhile, I think you all know what this means.
02:57Oh.
02:58That's right.
02:59It's time to see if we're still pleasing to our patrons
03:02and not porking out in the pantry.
03:04Nancy, we're not cattle.
03:06And we won't know that till we clip the scales.
03:08You know, if this weren't the best-paying waitress job in town,
03:11none of us would go through with this.
03:13Ah, but it is, and you will.
03:15This whole thing really aggravates me.
03:17I think it's degrading, I think it's stupid,
03:19and I'm not gonna get on that thing.
03:20Feel better?
03:21Yeah.
03:22Good.
03:23Well, Jen, take your feet off the numbers, dear.
03:27Oh, according to my calculations,
03:29there are four more pounds of you than there should be.
03:32I guess I get to go on a diet.
03:34Yeah.
03:35And I was wondering what I was gonna do with my weekend.
03:38Cassie?
03:39What?
03:41Mmm.
03:43Six pounds over, Cassie.
03:45I haven't had any complaints.
03:47Cassie, you knew there were certain weight requirements
03:49when you took this job.
03:51We like all of our girls to be tens.
03:53Nancy, together, you and I are a ten,
03:55and I'm nine of it.
03:58Excess avoir de poids can make one testy.
04:01Don't worry, Cassie, we'll get it off together.
04:03I know this terrific diet.
04:05Good, I'm gonna need one.
04:06Ladies, I'll be reasonable.
04:09You have two weeks to drop it, or you're out on it.
04:11Understood?
04:12I'll drop it, Nancy.
04:13I just hope you're standing where it lands.
04:17And this is where I work.
04:19Oh, nice.
04:20Yo, Dot.
04:21Hi, Sonny.
04:22This is my friend, Barry Scofield, Sonny Man.
04:24Sonny, how are you?
04:25You.
04:26Barry wrote a play I'm doing at my workshop this month.
04:28Ooh, playwright.
04:29I'm a composer.
04:30We ought to get together sometime and talk.
04:32Musical.
04:33Okay, sure, Sonny.
04:34When?
04:35Uh, I don't know.
04:37Uh, I don't know, but I'll call you.
04:39Don't you two ever gain weight?
04:41They got on a scale together and they still weren't old.
04:44You guys, I want you to meet somebody.
04:46Oh, hi, Vicki.
04:47Hi.
04:48I didn't know you worked here.
04:49I didn't know you two knew each other.
04:51Oh, yeah, we met last night at the party.
04:53Oh, great.
04:55Barry and I just had lunch.
04:57Oh, great.
04:59Wow, this is nice.
05:01Too bad you don't have more time to get to know each other.
05:03You know, as a matter of fact, Vicki and I are going out tomorrow night.
05:07Oh, great.
05:10Uh, excuse me, we haven't been in a long time.
05:12Oh, Barry, this is...
05:13I'm Barry Schofield.
05:14Nice to meet you.
05:15And this is Jan Hoffmeyer.
05:16Hi, Jan.
05:17Nice to meet you.
05:18Cassie Cranston.
05:19Cassie, how are you?
05:20Fine.
05:21I hope the three of you will be very happy together.
05:24Uh, listen, I better go.
05:26I'll see you at rehearsal.
05:27Right.
05:28Okay.
05:29Gee, I better be going, too.
05:30Vicki, I'll see you tomorrow?
05:31Right.
05:32Well, it was very nice meeting all of you.
05:33Sure.
05:34See you.
05:35Soon.
05:38That was Barry.
05:39That's the guy I was telling you about.
05:40Yeah, we picked up on that.
05:42Well, what do you think?
05:44Uh, I think we have something to talk about for the next couple of days.
05:48Yeah, well, I better go straighten this out with Dot.
05:51Some fine state of affairs, huh?
05:55Well, Dot, your little body is perfect.
05:57If only you had a little mind to go with it.
06:01Bye.
06:05Well, well, well.
06:06Imagine us both meeting the same guy.
06:08Yeah.
06:09And one of us has been out with him and the other one of us is going out with him.
06:13Yeah.
06:15Dot, I don't have to go out with him if you don't want me to.
06:18No.
06:19Go.
06:20Heck, if you're interested in him.
06:24Me?
06:25Oh, no.
06:26No, not really.
06:27I mean, I've been out with him a couple of times,
06:28but there's nothing that hot really going on between us.
06:30We're just friends.
06:31So, uh, I think you should go out with him if you want to.
06:35You sure?
06:36Sure.
06:37Cross your heart and hope to die soon?
06:38Yes.
06:39I just want to make double sure.
06:42Well, okay.
06:44Fine.
06:45What am I going to wear?
06:47Oh, you'll think of something.
06:49That cute little red dress of yours.
06:51See?
06:52Thought of something.
06:53Oh, it'll be perfect for a first date.
06:55Oh, no, it wouldn't.
06:56It's got too much cleavage.
06:58See, I don't want it to be too suggestive
07:00because I don't have any suggestions.
07:02On the other hand, I don't want to look totally sexless.
07:05Vicki, the dress has buttons.
07:07Just open them and close them
07:09depending upon what you want to say.
07:11Oh, Dot, thank you for the dress
07:13and thanks for inviting me to the party.
07:15If it weren't for you, I never would have met Barry.
07:17I know.
07:21I know.
07:29How's it going?
07:30Oh, pretty busy.
07:31How's it going with you?
07:32Oh, my station's kind of slow right now.
07:34By the way, how are you and Barry?
07:36You never mention him.
07:37Well, I guess I feel kind of awkward
07:39talking about him in front of you.
07:41Because I used to date him?
07:42Oh, that's okay.
07:44I want to hear.
07:46Well, it's been pretty good.
07:47We've been out three times this week.
07:49Oh.
07:50I just wondered.
07:51Last night we went to this club in Hollywood
07:52and we heard the saxophone player.
07:54Oh, Dot, he was so incredible.
07:56Good, good.
07:57And the night before that,
07:58we went to this restaurant in the marina.
08:00It was right on the water
08:01and you could see the boats come in.
08:02I'm glad things are going so well for you.
08:04And the night before that...
08:05Vicki, do you mind?
08:06I have millions of tables to wait on.
08:17I haven't lost an ounce.
08:18Jan, your diet doesn't work.
08:20Well, it's working for me.
08:22Look, you can't expect the same results right away.
08:24We don't have the same bodies.
08:26I wouldn't have lost an ounce if I had to remind myself.
08:29Hi, guys.
08:30Hi, Cassie.
08:31Is anything wrong?
08:32No, just dying of malnutrition.
08:35You're here early.
08:36How'd that happen?
08:37Well, uh, I have a problem.
08:39Vicki isn't here, is she?
08:41Nope.
08:42Is she the problem?
08:43Barry's the problem.
08:44What's going on?
08:45Well, you know I'm in that play that Barry wrote
08:47and we started rehearsing this week.
08:49And today he asked me out.
08:51Isn't he still dating Vicki?
08:52I think we've come to the problem.
08:54Yeah.
08:55You see, I liked Barry all along.
08:56But I told Vicki I didn't mind if she went out with him
08:58because when he asked her out, I figured he didn't like me.
09:01Now he says he did like me.
09:02He just didn't think I liked him.
09:04Where does that leave Vicki?
09:05Well, he still likes her.
09:06He just wants to see me, too.
09:08You know, I have half a mind to hit on this guy
09:10and take him away from both of you.
09:12But I'm too weak.
09:15It's just a mess, isn't it?
09:17Not unless you're thinking about going out with a jerk.
09:19He's not a jerk.
09:20And of course I'm thinking about it.
09:22I mean, I don't want to hurt Vicki.
09:23But like I said, I really like the guy.
09:25That's too bad.
09:26Unlike him.
09:27You told Vicki you weren't interested.
09:29Well, that was when I didn't think I had a chance.
09:31For all I know, Barry Schofield could be Mr. Right.
09:38And who knows how often Mr. Right comes along.
09:41I'm telling you, don't do it.
09:42There's no sure way to break up a friendship.
09:45Sure there is.
09:46Go on a diet together.
09:48Lois, what am I going to do?
09:50Why does everybody always ask me that?
09:52You made your bed, now lie in it.
09:54I'm asking, Lois.
09:57Okay, if you want my advice, I'll give it to you.
09:59But that does not necessarily mean that you have to take it.
10:01Lois, hurry up. Vicki will be here any minute.
10:03I hate this.
10:04Lois.
10:05All right, all right, all right.
10:06If I were you, and with each passing day, I'm glad I'm not,
10:10I would tell Vicki everything that you've told us
10:12the minute that she walks in here.
10:13You owe it to her to let her know what's going on.
10:16I was afraid you'd say that.
10:18You see why I hate this?
10:20I'm sorry, but you're right.
10:23And I'll tell her the minute she walks in.
10:27Hi, guys.
10:28Hi.
10:29Hi.
10:40Vicki, could we talk? It's kind of important.
10:42Okay, but I don't have much time. I have to iron this dress.
10:45Is that for a date?
10:46Huh?
10:47Yeah.
10:48With Barry?
10:50Well, uh, I'll help.
10:52I'll get the iron.
10:53Oh, thanks.
10:56Vicki, how much do you like Barry?
10:58I like him.
10:59You don't want to marry Barry, do you?
11:01No.
11:02Do you want to live with him?
11:04Dot, if I don't want to marry him, how could I live with him?
11:08Okay, that helps.
11:10What's all this about?
11:12Maybe I better hold this for a minute.
11:14Barry asked me out.
11:16What?
11:17That little sneak?
11:19Well, see, the thing is, though, Vicki, I really like the little sneak.
11:22Oh.
11:24Oh, so that means I want to go out with him again.
11:27You were planning this all along, weren't you?
11:30What?
11:31Oh, come on.
11:32I didn't just fall off the potato truck, you know.
11:36You must have given him some encouragement,
11:39and then you were so eager to find out how things were going with Barry and me.
11:43Your whole plot is painfully obvious.
11:46Okay, Vicki, I was trying to be honest with you.
11:49Well, I'm through being honest.
11:51I can be just as sneaky and double-crossing as you are.
11:55Well.
11:56Go ahead.
11:57Maybe it'll help develop your personality.
12:00I've got tons of personality.
12:02And I've got Barry.
12:04Well, not for long.
12:06Oh, uh, just a reminder to Cassie and Jan.
12:16Tomorrow is weigh-in.
12:18Yeah, yeah, I remember.
12:20Don't worry about me, Nancy.
12:21I already lost my four pounds.
12:22Oh, very good, Jan.
12:24Oh, very good, Jan.
12:26How'd you like me to force-feed you a strawberry shortcake?
12:30Hey, can I help it if you can't shave off a little lard?
12:34Come on, girls.
12:35Let's not pick at each other, huh?
12:37Oh, shut up, Lois.
12:39You're not perfect either, you know?
12:43I'm in a good mood.
12:44I'm going to stay in a good mood.
12:45Look, what do you say we all go out and have a drink?
12:47Eh, I can't.
12:48He won't drink.
12:50Okay, fine.
12:51But I'm going to get out of here, go someplace, relax, maybe have a glass of wine.
12:54Oh, come on.
12:55I don't want to go alone.
12:57Aha.
12:58This is the part, you see, where you guys are supposed to say,
13:00Hey, Lois is right.
13:01Let's go out and hoist a few.
13:04I'm buying.
13:05I'm up to it.
13:06Well, maybe why don't you insist?
13:09Gee, you guys are fun to do things with.
13:18Oh.
13:19Hey, this is nice and cozy, don't you think?
13:21Lois, this is a bar, not a mountain cabin.
13:23Let's just find a table and sit down.
13:25Oh, right over there.
13:26Okay, I think I have enough strength to make it there.
13:31Hey.
13:34Three drinks to last call, and I'm tired, so what'll it be?
13:37Am I the only happy waitress in town?
13:39I'll have a glass of white wine, please.
13:41Me too.
13:42White wine, please.
13:43I'll have a Singapore Sling.
13:44Low-cal, anything.
13:45And don't bring any pretzels.
13:47Thank you very much.
13:49Well, I like this place.
13:50It's nice.
13:51Homey.
13:52Not anymore.
13:54What?
13:55In the corner.
13:58Well, well, well.
14:00If it isn't Barry and little Miss Muffet.
14:03I think we'd have more fun someplace else.
14:05Why don't you guys come on over and join us?
14:08I think we should just slip out of here nice and quietly.
14:10Too late.
14:12All right, you guys, what's the big idea?
14:14Hi, Vicki.
14:15Hey.
14:16Cute dress.
14:17It's mine.
14:18What are you doing here?
14:20Just out for a little drink in a public bar.
14:22Why don't you bring Barry over?
14:23Sure he's bored to death by now.
14:25I don't believe this.
14:26You guys came in here to spoil my date.
14:28Oh, I'm sure you didn't need our help.
14:32All right, whose idea was this anyway?
14:34Lois.
14:36Vicki, we didn't know you were going to be in here.
14:38Well, then would you kindly take my ex-friend and go someplace else?
14:42Don't we get to say hello to Barry?
14:44Why waste your time on him?
14:46There must be other women in this bar whose men you can steal.
14:49You know, I've had it.
14:51We've all had it.
14:52I told you.
14:53I told you not to go out with him, but no.
14:55He might be Mr. Right, and you...
14:57Jen, Jen, it's a little late for I told you so's.
15:00However, we did tell you so.
15:02But that doesn't matter.
15:03What matters is that you two are about to destroy a friendship.
15:06And over what?
15:07Him?
15:11Would you sit down, please?
15:12Here.
15:13Sit here.
15:16Look, I lost a best friend once.
15:18And, I mean, we were close.
15:19We did everything together.
15:20She was the one person that I could really talk to.
15:23And we had a fight over something almost as stupid as this,
15:26and we never spoke again.
15:29And I'll tell you the truth.
15:30There are still days when something will happen that I'll want to tell her about
15:33or laugh with her about, and it's too late.
15:38So before you guys make the same mistake,
15:40would you please just throw your arms around each other and be friends again?
15:46I'd rather throw my arms around a basket of snakes.
15:50Well, I hope you get that chance.
15:52Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date.
15:54Oh, and I'm going to go home and get some sleep,
15:56because tomorrow night I have a date.
16:00And I'm getting fired tomorrow,
16:01so what the hell am I doing sitting here drinking diet cola?
16:04I'm going to go get a pizza.
16:05Good idea. I'm starved.
16:10I knew this would be fun.
16:20Cassie dear, there you are.
16:22Shall we retire to the lounge and see if we've had any luck in trimming the fat?
16:26Look, I didn't do it, okay?
16:28I starved, I steamed, I jogged.
16:30I even had my hair cut.
16:31All I lost was two pounds.
16:32I figure the rest of it must all be bone, blood, and other stuff I'm going to need.
16:36Cassie, I'm afraid you've given me no choice.
16:38In that case, if she doesn't...
16:39If she goes, I go.
16:41What?
16:42You heard me.
16:43Would you excuse us, please?
16:46Is this your idea of a joke?
16:48I like the way she looks.
16:49She inspires my cooking,
16:51and my cooking is what makes this place run.
16:53So if she goes, I go with her.
16:56Savvy?
16:57Mario, I have never liked threats.
17:00No one does.
17:01That's why they're so successful.
17:05Cassie dear, come here.
17:06You know, on thinking it over,
17:08I've decided it's only fair to give you one more week.
17:16Mario, I don't know what to say.
17:18It's okay.
17:19I sympathize with you.
17:20My wife had an eating problem.
17:22The day we were married, I went to cut the wedding cake,
17:25and it was gone.
17:30Nancy's looking for you.
17:31She found me.
17:32And?
17:33I get to live on Rye Crisp for another week.
17:36Hello, Lois, Jan, Cassie.
17:39Hussy.
17:42Well, I've heard enough.
17:43I'm leaving.
17:44If it looks as though we're walking out on you,
17:46it's just that we can't stand to be around you anymore.
17:50I believe this dress is yours.
17:52So do I.
17:54I also brought back your sweater.
17:56When did you borrow that?
17:57The night we doubled at the Japanese restaurant.
18:00Oh, that's right.
18:02You were dating that really skinny guy.
18:04What was his name?
18:05Douglas, and he wasn't that skinny.
18:07He was slender.
18:09Besides, your date was no winner either.
18:11We all had to chip in to pay for his dinner.
18:14I don't remember that.
18:15Yeah, well, here are your shoes, and your blouse,
18:18and everything else I borrowed.
18:20No wonder Barry was interested in you.
18:22You had all my stuff.
18:24Well, you have it all back now.
18:27Except for this.
18:30That was a gift.
18:32I know.
18:33I just wouldn't feel right keeping it.
18:36All right.
18:38If you say so.
18:40Well, I guess that's it.
18:42I guess so.
18:45I never realized how many of my things you had.
18:47Yeah, well, everything I brought from Idaho seemed pretty out of place here.
18:52Especially me.
18:54Boy, did I feel out of it.
18:56Everybody seemed so sophisticated.
18:59Cassie, you.
19:01Me?
19:02Yeah.
19:03You were an actress.
19:05You were so exciting and interesting.
19:10I wanted to be just like you.
19:12I didn't know you felt that way.
19:14I wonder if that's why I wanted Barry so much.
19:17That night he asked me out at the party,
19:19for the first time since I'd been here,
19:22I felt like I really arrived.
19:24I mean, he was the kind of guy who'd normally ask you out.
19:27And did.
19:29Vicki, he's just a guy.
19:31If he's just a guy, how come we're making such a big deal out of this?
19:35Maybe because I got jealous.
19:38When Barry asked you out, I...
19:40I thought you had something I didn't.
19:42Really?
19:43Sure, and you do.
19:44You have lots of things I don't have.
19:47Guess that's why we're friends.
19:49If we're friends, how come we hate each other so much?
19:53I don't hate you.
19:54I don't hate you either.
19:56I guess we just got crazy over dating the same guy.
19:59I don't know what happened to me.
20:01In Pocatello, we would never date anyone who was going out with a friend.
20:05We didn't do that in Detroit either.
20:07Barry is a nice guy, but...
20:09If it's a choice between him and our being friends, well...
20:13I would rather have our friendship.
20:15So would I.
20:22Let's not ever let anything like this happen again.
20:25Right.
20:26But listen, we spend a lot of time together, so...
20:28What do we do if we meet another guy we both like?
20:30Well, we just have to be more mature.
20:32We're friends, we're adults.
20:34I'm sure we could come up with something that works.
20:37How about, uh...
20:39Whoever sees him first.
20:41That's fair.
21:08Yeah...
21:10It's all...
21:12Living!